FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Looking for some advice
Looking for some advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…
I’ve been fascinated by the swinging scene for years and participated on many occasions. However this was all pre marriage stuff and I’m now happily married. I’d really love it for my wife to also get involved but just don’t quite know how to approach the subject. Im not sure she would be very keen
You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship
Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're worried about upsetting the relationship by having a discussion with her... how do you think it'll go when she discovers your profile on here ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only way is to have an honest conversation. Tell her that it interests you and ask her what her thoughts are on swinging.
You never know, she may already have a profile on here herself, how good would that be  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I would suggest that if it is important to you, you should talk to your wife about it.
You may not get the reaction you hope for, but you may also not get the reaction you fear.
The forum can't really help any more than that, because we don’t know your wife, and what works for others may not work for you.
Good luck, OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well to start with op would remove your profile from here as it’s definitely not going to go down well you already being on here pre talk pritty sure the subject would end fast
You can ither pretend you don’t know off this place after have the talk and if it’s a go you can say you found it on Google or something
Or you can say I know a place was on there before I meet you
Maybe gently ease in to it maybe some light harted porn watching together pick 3sums / gangbang porn
And no not the two woman kind i am almost serton she think your only out for your self
Then maybe approach the subject you love to see her get spit roasted by you and another person or watch her with someone else and see what her reaction is
And go from there |
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"Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…
I’ve been fascinated by the swinging scene for years and participated on many occasions. However this was all pre marriage stuff and I’m now happily married. I’d really love it for my wife to also get involved but just don’t quite know how to approach the subject. Im not sure she would be very keen
You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship
Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them
"
Makes some jokes about it and see how she reacts.
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Some great advice so far, and thankfully also from some of the ladies here.
Always a good thing if it comes from the female perspective, albeit we are all individuals and see things in our own unique way.
I would tread carefully though. Just my personal experience.. some of the ladies I was with for quite some years seemed to find the mere idea of swinging something "others" do and yeah, thought it was very wrong. (Not being able to go behind their backs I didn't swing in those periods. Just me, I don't want to be lied to and as such I treat a partner with openness and no deceit.)
That doesn't mean your wife will react like my then partners, however risking your marriage would be disastrous for sure.
I don't know whether this is naughty but maybe catch not only the mood right but broach the subject over a few glasses of wine where inhibitions might fly out of the window...during sex, maybe introduce some fantasies when you are both "well on your way"..
Should your good lady react positively maybe that breaks the ice a little and makes it easier to come back to the subject at a later date?
Has she anyone she fancies, even some well known personality... has she ever pointed out someone she fancies? You might introduce that person and suggest things like"wouldn't you just love him/her to join in now"..
Again, I might get crucified for this idea....if your wife also uses some sex toy WHILST you are intimate, ie 'in her' might that be a moment to suggest a third party joining you? In other words the .. let's say vibrator .... is 'Bob' or the window cleaner or the guy she recently danced with etc etc. ?
I don't know your wife as does anyone else here, but these are the "tactics" I tried. Admittedly, I got nowhere with it but I can only assume the girls just weren't into it.
Good luck.
Oh, by the way, as to you already being on here.. 
Errr, I leave that to your better judgement!! |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…
I’ve been fascinated by the swinging scene for years and participated on many occasions. However this was all pre marriage stuff and I’m now happily married. I’d really love it for my wife to also get involved but just don’t quite know how to approach the subject. Im not sure she would be very keen
You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship
Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them
"
The problem is she'd leave you now if she knew you were on here and she'd probably leave you if you introduced her to this side of your life so I'd continue being in a happy marriage if i were you, its not for everyone  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…
I’ve been fascinated by the swinging scene for years and participated on many occasions. However this was all pre marriage stuff and I’m now happily married. I’d really love it for my wife to also get involved but just don’t quite know how to approach the subject. Im not sure she would be very keen
You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship
Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them
The problem is she'd leave you now if she knew you were on here and she'd probably leave you if you introduced her to this side of your life so I'd continue being in a happy marriage if i were you, its not for everyone "
Yea, this is the definition of a "happy" marriage
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…
I’ve been fascinated by the swinging scene for years and participated on many occasions. However this was all pre marriage stuff and I’m now happily married. I’d really love it for my wife to also get involved but just don’t quite know how to approach the subject. Im not sure she would be very keen
You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship
Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them
"
I think your already ready to play behind her back, judging from you being on here and flaunting your girthy member
So why are you worried about upsetting her?
Because let’s be honest, you’re not worried about upsetting her. You’re worried about getting caught. If you truly didn’t want to upset her you wouldn’t be on here like you are
Personally I think you should tell her the truth then end the marriage and let her find someone that wants to love and cherish her, not slump around behind her back |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Op sit and have an open conversation with your wife ,we don't know her & what her reaction will be ,you probably have an idea.
Tell her you've got fantasies and wanted to know if she could join you in them .Watch a swinging program together if she will ,see what it's all about.
If she says no though ,will you still remain on fab and will you meet others behind her back?.If so be careful as if she gets an idea you're already on a swinging site,you could lose her. |
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"Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…
I’ve been fascinated by the swinging scene for years and participated on many occasions. However this was all pre marriage stuff and I’m now happily married. I’d really love it for my wife to also get involved but just don’t quite know how to approach the subject. Im not sure she would be very keen
You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship
Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them
"
When you say you participated what do you mean? Explored through clubs etc or just hooking up in hotels
What is it that you want, be clear first and foremost. Just hooking up with others or actually getting in involved in swinging lifestyle?
Talk to your wife, open and honestly about it, he upfront none of this trying to get her involved cohertly, that's not fair
And think about what would happen if she said yes, what would you want? Just because she said yes doesn't mean you get to organise the 10 men gang bang.
If she says yes it needs to be on her terms, listen to her and I mean listen to her. No pressure
Have you thought about what if happens if she says no? Your reactions and her expectations....Would you keep on with Fab and explore without her or give up the scene completely....could you? Would you?
I think you have a lot of thinking first...People dive into this stuff without exploring what the consequences might be or the feelings involved
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I really feel for you O.P.
You want to shag other people and yet you are hitched to this bloody woman who you suspect doesn't want to fuck around with other people.
I think you were VERY right to be secretive about your past to her. Hysterical bitches women are. All over nothing too.
I think you should just shag away till your nob drops off and if she finds out ..... do the usual and tell her it was her fault.
Thanks for sharing xxx |
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"The only way is to have an honest conversation. Tell her that it interests you and ask her what her thoughts are on swinging.
You never know, she may already have a profile on here herself, how good would that be "
especially if she has had more cock ends than weekends hahahahaha |
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"I really feel for you O.P.
You want to shag other people and yet you are hitched to this bloody woman who you suspect doesn't want to fuck around with other people.
I think you were VERY right to be secretive about your past to her. Hysterical bitches women are. All over nothing too.
I think you should just shag away till your nob drops off and if she finds out ..... do the usual and tell her it was her fault.
Thanks for sharing xxx "
Sometimes Granny, I really fucking feel you  |
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Just have the conversation, maybe watch something together like open house on channel 4 and use that to start the conversation.
Personally for me swinging requires a huge amount of trust and communication if you don't have either then I wouldn't bother.
Mrs |
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"I really feel for you O.P.
You want to shag other people and yet you are hitched to this bloody woman who you suspect doesn't want to fuck around with other people.
I think you were VERY right to be secretive about your past to her. Hysterical bitches women are. All over nothing too.
I think you should just shag away till your nob drops off and if she finds out ..... do the usual and tell her it was her fault.
Thanks for sharing xxx "
Spot on, thread closed.
Mrs |
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The only reason your happily married is because your wife is clueless about you being on a site like this flaunting your knob around looking for sex..
I’d probably be more pissed off that my husband was asking advice to a bunch of strangers then having a conversation with me himself I would leave him just for that . |
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"Probably going to get absolutely destroyed for this post but here goes…
I’ve been fascinated by the swinging scene for years and participated on many occasions. However this was all pre marriage stuff and I’m now happily married. I’d really love it for my wife to also get involved but just don’t quite know how to approach the subject. Im not sure she would be very keen
You might think it’s crazy but I’ve never told her about it. I guess I’m fearing a bad reaction, which of course would be a disaster and I don’t want to upset the relationship
Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thought and experiences and how you overcame them
"
I have to say, your wife's not aware your on here I'm presuming by what you've shared, you've got a username like you have, which suggests your looking for bareback, so I'm guessing you sleep protected with your wife, to protect her from all those nasty little illnesses that are out there......try doing the right fucking thing either have a conversation with the wife and be honest, or have a serious word with yourself about what you're actually up to, and the possible ramifications to your behaviour, foe yourself and others..... |
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