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Is lying ok?
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Now we know most people will tell what is call little white lies but do you find it acceptable?
Where do you draw the line if there was no need for there to be a lie in the first place?
Does it change your perspective of a person if you catch them out? |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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Telling your kids Santa is real (I’m not doing that but for those that do) is not all that bad.
Telling your partner she doesn’t have anything to worry about or she’s mad for being suspicious when you’re cheating on her? That’s kinda bad. |
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For me, no.
If something would be hurtful and bring no benefit, I'd avoid vomiting unnecessary truth. But if it was relevant to someone making an informed choice, then it should be said.
I understand the little white lies, and I'll often draw focus to a positive rather than directly answer a question where my honest opinion is negative but irrelevant. But I just don't agree with lying for the most part. |
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By *avexxMan 49 weeks ago
cheshire |
"Telling your kids Santa is real (I’m not doing that but for those that do) is not all that bad.
Telling your partner she doesn’t have anything to worry about or she’s mad for being suspicious when you’re cheating on her? That’s kinda bad. "
,, santa is real |
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If it relates to a concern that is significant to me and I have made that clear. Then that's a definite 'line'.
If people lie I ask them, if they won't own it or explain why they felt the need to. Yes absolutely it's probably the most important thing to me to feel that an other person will be honest with me.
Without that intimacy just disintegrates for me. Trust is fundamental. |
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"I find little white lies more annoying. I lose all respect for people who lie to me. "
I am the same, for some reason I find the little white lies annoy me more. I definitely then look at the person in a different light |
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"I find little white lies more annoying. I lose all respect for people who lie to me.
I am the same, for some reason I find the little white lies annoy me more. I definitely then look at the person in a different light"
Yes, little lies which were never needed annoy m the most because why lie about such trivial things, says a lot about a persons character |
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"Telling your kids Santa is real (I’m not doing that but for those that do) is not all that bad.
Telling your partner she doesn’t have anything to worry about or she’s mad for being suspicious when you’re cheating on her? That’s kinda bad. "
So this got me thinking, as much as it’s magical telling our kids Santa, the tooth fairy the Easter bunny ect are real are we then teaching them small lies are ok as long as it makes people happy? |
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"I find little white lies more annoying. I lose all respect for people who lie to me.
I am the same, for some reason I find the little white lies annoy me more. I definitely then look at the person in a different light"
Totally. It’s insulting, |
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Context can matter. Little white lies to preserve the peace, or spare some feelings might be okay, but quite often a little tact and diplomacy is just as good. But anything else, no. I’ve had some shocking lies told about me, I’ve been damaged and changed by it, and I’ve lost friends and colleagues because of it, and in some cases I’ve been unable to repair the damage. I have no interest in being around people who feel comfortable with lies. |
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Telling silly white lies can be a kind of habit for some people I think, but I don't get too perturbed by them (if they really don't mean much) - but it's got to be good to try not to do them! I certainly respect honesty more, but it's horses for courses I think as I'm quite honest myself. I feel that not everyone wants someone painfully honest all the time, some people like to exaggerate and to hear stories or just sweet little lies because it's how they do it themselves. I think in general people like what they do themselves (and perhaps in some cases what they perceive they do, or what they aspire to perhaps.)
pt |
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By *4bimMan 49 weeks ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
Sometimes people lie to protect someone the care about from learning the truth about another.
The problem is when that person discovers the truth, and they blame you for not telling them.
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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Lying is fine aslong as it doesn't cause harm to another person. Like if someone is in a bad place its probably not the best idea to say "Yeah you're entire family just died horribly, seethe cope L skill issue mald uninstall get rekt ggez". Depends on context. If its for the sake of causing harm to another person (cheating for example) then yeah thats pretty fucking horrible and if I find out I wanna do things to them that can't be mentioned otherwise I'd end up on the CIA watchlist. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"For me, no.
If something would be hurtful and bring no benefit, I'd avoid vomiting unnecessary truth. But if it was relevant to someone making an informed choice, then it should be said.
I understand the little white lies, and I'll often draw focus to a positive rather than directly answer a question where my honest opinion is negative but irrelevant. But I just don't agree with lying for the most part."
Agree |
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"For me, no.
If something would be hurtful and bring no benefit, I'd avoid vomiting unnecessary truth. But if it was relevant to someone making an informed choice, then it should be said.
I understand the little white lies, and I'll often draw focus to a positive rather than directly answer a question where my honest opinion is negative but irrelevant. But I just don't agree with lying for the most part.
Agree"
Oh yes, I like that description it's really quite comprehensive. |
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The good old debate between deontology and consequentialism 
For me personally, it's about the motive of the lie. If it was done with a good intention towards me, even if the idea is stupid, I would excuse the person. |
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"Yes, lying is ok. Everyone does it even if they believe they don't. Nobody is 100% truthful
Saying "I'm fine" when someone asks how you are, even though you're not is a lie.
"
What if by 'fine' you allude to that harrowingly thin line between 'getting by' and utterly debilitating despair lol.
pt |
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"Yes, lying is ok. Everyone does it even if they believe they don't. Nobody is 100% truthful
Saying "I'm fine" when someone asks how you are, even though you're not is a lie.
What if by 'fine' you allude to that harrowingly thin line between 'getting by' and utterly debilitating despair lol.
pt"
Nice to see you back btw (if you were away) pt |
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"Yes, lying is ok. Everyone does it even if they believe they don't. Nobody is 100% truthful
Saying "I'm fine" when someone asks how you are, even though you're not is a lie.
What if by 'fine' you allude to that harrowingly thin line between 'getting by' and utterly debilitating despair lol.
pt
Nice to see you back btw (if you were away) pt"
Thank you, we were away  . Truth |
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"Yes, lying is ok. Everyone does it even if they believe they don't. Nobody is 100% truthful
Saying "I'm fine" when someone asks how you are, even though you're not is a lie.
What if by 'fine' you allude to that harrowingly thin line between 'getting by' and utterly debilitating despair lol.
pt
Nice to see you back btw (if you were away) pt
Thank you, we were away . Truth "
Unrelated to the post but I had a dream about you. You were teaching me how to make cucumber chutney. I’m not sure if cucumber chutney is a real thing or what my mental state was when I went to sleep that night but there you were. |
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"Yes, lying is ok. Everyone does it even if they believe they don't. Nobody is 100% truthful
Saying "I'm fine" when someone asks how you are, even though you're not is a lie.
What if by 'fine' you allude to that harrowingly thin line between 'getting by' and utterly debilitating despair lol.
pt
Nice to see you back btw (if you were away) pt
Thank you, we were away . Truth
Unrelated to the post but I had a dream about you. You were teaching me how to make cucumber chutney. I’m not sure if cucumber chutney is a real thing or what my mental state was when I went to sleep that night but there you were. "
 . The way our subconscious works  .
I was talking about making jam a while back, maybe that triggered it |
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"Yes, lying is ok. Everyone does it even if they believe they don't. Nobody is 100% truthful
Saying "I'm fine" when someone asks how you are, even though you're not is a lie.
What if by 'fine' you allude to that harrowingly thin line between 'getting by' and utterly debilitating despair lol.
pt
Nice to see you back btw (if you were away) pt
Thank you, we were away . Truth
"
I'm not going to question a mod lol pt
(who need to take their breaks!) |
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If you don't lie, you'll never get caught out. But if course you probably won't have a lot of friends either, because the truth often hurts that (amongst other reasons) is why most people tell a lie, to spare someone's feelings.
"That lipstick looks the same colour as that clowns we saw last year at the circus" or "no not your shade"
"She wasn't in your league mate, better off without her" or "she was way to good for you, you'd just disappoint her"
"God your so tight" or "this is like throwing a sausage up a ginnel"
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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I think we've all told a lie at some point in our lives, especially to protect someone or others feelings. Those types of lies I don't think are uncommon. If people are lying with malicious intent, that's where the line is crossed for me. |
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I absolutely detest lying but there is times it's needed for example hiding a suprise, birthday, Christmas etc, telling the kids about Santa & the tooth fairy but other than that no there isn't really any reasons to lie.
I find the little lies more annoying, if people like about something small and insignificant for zero reason I expect them to lie constantly.
Mrs |
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"If you don't lie, you'll never get caught out. But if course you probably won't have a lot of friends either, because the truth often hurts that (amongst other reasons) is why most people tell a lie, to spare someone's feelings.
"That lipstick looks the same colour as that clowns we saw last year at the circus" or "no not your shade"
"She wasn't in your league mate, better off without her" or "she was way to good for you, you'd just disappoint her"
"God your so tight" or "this is like throwing a sausage up a ginnel"
"
I'd rather hear the clowns for the first. The second is fine in terms of rephrasing to me. The third, why outright lie instead of comment on something like how wet she is or some other positive, rather than lie about something that simply isn't true though? |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Telling your kids Santa is real (I’m not doing that but for those that do) is not all that bad.
Telling your partner she doesn’t have anything to worry about or she’s mad for being suspicious when you’re cheating on her? That’s kinda bad.
So this got me thinking, as much as it’s magical telling our kids Santa, the tooth fairy the Easter bunny ect are real are we then teaching them small lies are ok as long as it makes people happy? "
That’s how I see it. Which is why I don’t want to tell my daughter Santa is real and if she asks me I won’t lie. |
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Everyone tells lies to some degree. That’s that claim not to are obviously lying.
Of course, there are many justified reasons to lie. Anyone with the slightest modicum of empathy would do this.
Lying for lying’s sake is something different. |
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I see we have paragons of virute among us.
Not a single person in this thread is above telling a lie, will have told lies and very likely will tell multiple lies before their final breath on their death bed. No matter how righteous they claim to be. |
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By *adMerWoman 49 weeks ago
Sandwich |
I abhor lies. Especially those little ones people tell to make them seem more important/ likeable. Or the complimentary ones they really don’t mean.
It takes an inventive mind, but you really can get through most of life without even little lies. Silence is also an option if you can’t say anything truthfully nice. |
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"Telling your kids Santa is real (I’m not doing that but for those that do) is not all that bad.
Telling your partner she doesn’t have anything to worry about or she’s mad for being suspicious when you’re cheating on her? That’s kinda bad.
So this got me thinking, as much as it’s magical telling our kids Santa, the tooth fairy the Easter bunny ect are real are we then teaching them small lies are ok as long as it makes people happy?
That’s how I see it. Which is why I don’t want to tell my daughter Santa is real and if she asks me I won’t lie. "
I’ve always said Well I believe and I get presents. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Telling your kids Santa is real (I’m not doing that but for those that do) is not all that bad.
Telling your partner she doesn’t have anything to worry about or she’s mad for being suspicious when you’re cheating on her? That’s kinda bad.
So this got me thinking, as much as it’s magical telling our kids Santa, the tooth fairy the Easter bunny ect are real are we then teaching them small lies are ok as long as it makes people happy?
That’s how I see it. Which is why I don’t want to tell my daughter Santa is real and if she asks me I won’t lie.
I’ve always said Well I believe and I get presents. "
Surprised you’re on the good list Nora  |
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"Telling your kids Santa is real (I’m not doing that but for those that do) is not all that bad.
Telling your partner she doesn’t have anything to worry about or she’s mad for being suspicious when you’re cheating on her? That’s kinda bad.
So this got me thinking, as much as it’s magical telling our kids Santa, the tooth fairy the Easter bunny ect are real are we then teaching them small lies are ok as long as it makes people happy?
That’s how I see it. Which is why I don’t want to tell my daughter Santa is real and if she asks me I won’t lie.
I’ve always said Well I believe and I get presents.
Surprised you’re on the good list Nora "
. He likes me I always leave him alcohol instead of milk |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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I don’t know. I mean if someone is really proud of something they’ve produced and I don’t particularly like it I might white lie in that instance as it’s only my opinion after all. |
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"Telling your kids Santa is real (I’m not doing that but for those that do) is not all that bad.
Telling your partner she doesn’t have anything to worry about or she’s mad for being suspicious when you’re cheating on her? That’s kinda bad.
So this got me thinking, as much as it’s magical telling our kids Santa, the tooth fairy the Easter bunny ect are real are we then teaching them small lies are ok as long as it makes people happy?
That’s how I see it. Which is why I don’t want to tell my daughter Santa is real and if she asks me I won’t lie. "
Don't ruin the magic of Christmas for her too early |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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If you don’t know when to lie and when not to, then that’s more of a problem.
‘Do you think I’m ugly?’ Only someone with no social awareness and a level of narcissism would say yes if some one were.
‘Do you have HIV?’ may elicit two different responses depending if the questioner is simply being nosey or if you intend to sleep with them. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Telling your kids Santa is real (I’m not doing that but for those that do) is not all that bad.
Telling your partner she doesn’t have anything to worry about or she’s mad for being suspicious when you’re cheating on her? That’s kinda bad.
So this got me thinking, as much as it’s magical telling our kids Santa, the tooth fairy the Easter bunny ect are real are we then teaching them small lies are ok as long as it makes people happy?
That’s how I see it. Which is why I don’t want to tell my daughter Santa is real and if she asks me I won’t lie.
Don't ruin the magic of Christmas for her too early "
I didn’t expect this from you
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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If a friend asks me if they look good in something and they don't I will always say something like I prefer so and so on you.
I do not like lieing as a general rule on here sometimes it saves you a lot of hassle as in white lies like I'm not meeting or looking to meet right now. Mostly I am direct and honest.
Friends etc I will not keep if they lie to me and I find out. I find it hard to trust them and if I can't trust you then what is the point.
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"Telling your kids Santa is real (I’m not doing that but for those that do) is not all that bad.
Telling your partner she doesn’t have anything to worry about or she’s mad for being suspicious when you’re cheating on her? That’s kinda bad.
So this got me thinking, as much as it’s magical telling our kids Santa, the tooth fairy the Easter bunny ect are real are we then teaching them small lies are ok as long as it makes people happy?
That’s how I see it. Which is why I don’t want to tell my daughter Santa is real and if she asks me I won’t lie.
Don't ruin the magic of Christmas for her too early
I didn’t expect this from you
"
I'm not the grinch |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Telling your kids Santa is real (I’m not doing that but for those that do) is not all that bad.
Telling your partner she doesn’t have anything to worry about or she’s mad for being suspicious when you’re cheating on her? That’s kinda bad.
So this got me thinking, as much as it’s magical telling our kids Santa, the tooth fairy the Easter bunny ect are real are we then teaching them small lies are ok as long as it makes people happy?
That’s how I see it. Which is why I don’t want to tell my daughter Santa is real and if she asks me I won’t lie.
Don't ruin the magic of Christmas for her too early
I didn’t expect this from you
I'm not the grinch "
I know. Maybe you’re nice? |
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"Lying is just not on,I mentioned this to Kate Moss on my last modelling job.
Can't remember if it was before the Oscars or after Cannes .
It definitely happened though
 "
You are lying! Kate Moss told me she'd never been to the Oscars.... Oh no! Was Kate Moss the liar ????? |
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If people like ,it makes me more wary of them in general and I wouldn't trust them.
Some people can't lie straight in bed though,I used to work with a woman who likes about loads of stuff ,big and little just to get attention it seemed .sad cos everyone knew ,because she didn't have a good memory.
If I catch people lying here ,I'm usually done with them ,as everything they say then, I'd question . |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"If I don't lie I never have to remember what I said. Just say the truth for a simpler life."
This. Plus lying is cowardly at best, and manipulation at worst...
I'd rather know a difficult truth than a beautiful lie any day.
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"If people like ,it makes me more wary of them in general and I wouldn't trust them.
Some people can't lie straight in bed though,I used to work with a woman who likes about loads of stuff ,big and little just to get attention it seemed .sad cos everyone knew ,because she didn't have a good memory.
If I catch people lying here ,I'm usually done with them ,as everything they say then, I'd question ."
I've known people like this, it's very sad to observe as it's obviously done out of massive insecurity and feeling like they need to lie to impress or get attention or whatever. I'd just rather be not liked for who I genuinely am, than be liked as a person I'm pretending to be. |
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By *orny PTMan 40 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"If I don't lie I never have to remember what I said. Just say the truth for a simpler life.
This. Plus lying is cowardly at best, and manipulation at worst...
I'd rather know a difficult truth than a beautiful lie any day.
"
How many Jews and prisoners of war and resistance fighters were protected by lies when asked by the Nåzis "Have you seen who we are looking for?"
Not exactly cowardly... |
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It's hard to ever know what drives all of someone's lies, especially when they may deceive themselves. Lack of confidence, ability to trust and gain greater intimacy are amongst the motivations. It depends on my relationship with someone, if they lie to me and how they are otherwise. I don't expect saints but like people to be reasonably dependable. |
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"It does depend on context, I have a person with dementia in the family, it is much easier and less upsetting for them to tell the odd white lie."
Yep, it's not always as straightforward as we'd like. |
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By *apidaryMan 40 weeks ago
Chipping Norton |
The poet Emily Dickinson said you should "tell the truth but slant it".
Anyone boasting about how they "tell it like it is", in contrast, is frequently lacking manners at best, a nasty piece of work at worst.
Truth matters; kindness matters. Sometimes if you can't manage a good dose of both together then there's something deeper wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"For me, no.
If something would be hurtful and bring no benefit, I'd avoid vomiting unnecessary truth. But if it was relevant to someone making an informed choice, then it should be said.
I understand the little white lies, and I'll often draw focus to a positive rather than directly answer a question where my honest opinion is negative but irrelevant. But I just don't agree with lying for the most part."
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By *lan157Man 40 weeks ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
"I lie to my boss when they ask what I did on my WFH days.
"
It's your boss here. What are you really doing on your WFH days ? Ps. I have your HR manager with me. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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The difficult boundary is when you're asked an opinion on something you haven't considered before and have to give a snap answer. Then a week later you may be picked up on it because you've had time to think and have changed your opinion. To me, that's not lying but I know people that would say that it is. |
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"No I don't like even little lies.
White lies aren't harmless they're the start of a slippery slope and the clear indication someone is untrustworthy x"
I offer tell people I'm fine when I'm really not. It's an outright lie but I often either don't want to tell them the truth of they don't want to hear it. If that makes me untrustworthy I'll live with it |
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"Man with a knife chasing a neighbour,she disappears down a side street
"Do you know where she lives?"
Your answer?"
It would depend. Is he chasing her to kill her or to return a knife she dropped? |
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"No I don't like even little lies.
White lies aren't harmless they're the start of a slippery slope and the clear indication someone is untrustworthy x
But what about Santa?"
Oh he tells some whoppers, when I was 6 he said I was getting a new bike, like fuck I did. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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I dont like it when people lie to me, even small ones or white lies or lies to spare my feelings... if someone can lie to me about anything how do i know anything they say is the truth. |
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Truth is subjective anyway. You always have one persons view, the other persons and the truth somewhere between them.
Telling a little lie like "im fine", whilst not the truth in that moment, is protecting yourself and possibly the other person from being uncomfortable.
Huge lies are not on but a small one to save someones feelings, keep someone safe etc really isn't bad I don't think.
Obviously whopping big lies aren't acceptable.
MrsAbz |
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Little white lies are okay sometimes, but depends on the reason.
If a woman asks me, if her arse got too big, then I won't say yes.
When a man asks a woman that he's cock is nice. If there's love, then she won't say "I had better". |
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It all depends on the context of it all really and the reason behind it.. if its to protect yourself, then probably not.. but if its to protect others from being hurt or embarrassed a little then I would say a little white lie to avoid that can be said, but maybe be truthful afters by taken aside and to explain why |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Man with a knife chasing a neighbour,she disappears down a side street
"Do you know where she lives?"
Your answer?
It would depend. Is he chasing her to kill her or to return a knife she dropped?"
 |
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