FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Uh-oh, self reflection time...
Uh-oh, self reflection time...
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"- I like my authenticity & that I don’t try and change myself for anyone. If I feel the need to evolve in any way I’m open to that, at my own pace. I also like that I’m truly neutral (taken years to get here!). I have opinions of course but don’t feel the need to impose them on anybody - just muse on them and sometimes put them out there, for debates sake. Bit of a cliche but loving & respecting yourself really is the key - it acts as a buffer "I love this and I couldn't agree more! Thank you for sharing.  | |||
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"Honestly, on a sight full of penis and boobs and people talking about eating mars bars from various orifices, I just can't take it seriously. Hence I don't take myself seriously. Also, I know how much attention I get in real life. Zero. It's zero. I can actually remember the last time I got chatted up, let's just say I was in my twenties. So I know the photos of me aren't a good representation of the real me (yes I could change this but I don't want to) and I don't fall for all the shite men chuck at you on here. You call it self depreciation, I just call it being realistic. " Serious question...in real life, are you often in situations conducive to being chatted up? | |||
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"Honestly, on a sight full of penis and boobs and people talking about eating mars bars from various orifices, I just can't take it seriously. Hence I don't take myself seriously. Also, I know how much attention I get in real life. Zero. It's zero. I can actually remember the last time I got chatted up, let's just say I was in my twenties. So I know the photos of me aren't a good representation of the real me (yes I could change this but I don't want to) and I don't fall for all the shite men chuck at you on here. You call it self depreciation, I just call it being realistic. " Maybe you look so good people are afraid to chat you up… glass half full mindset | |||
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I am true to myself and only ever know how to be me, straight talking and knows my worth. Tough but I've had to be, empathic because I know how horrible it feels to not be understood. Kind because what else is there and if I converse with you I listen, no place for egotistical nonsense in my world. I love my humour, I love to laugh and to dance, I give with my all and take nothing. For once on my life I am loving who I am;
Work in progress
Body confident
Perfectly imperfect.
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"Honestly, on a sight full of penis and boobs and people talking about eating mars bars from various orifices, I just can't take it seriously. Hence I don't take myself seriously. Also, I know how much attention I get in real life. Zero. It's zero. I can actually remember the last time I got chatted up, let's just say I was in my twenties. So I know the photos of me aren't a good representation of the real me (yes I could change this but I don't want to) and I don't fall for all the shite men chuck at you on here. You call it self depreciation, I just call it being realistic. " I can understand that perspective... and I am sorry to hear you are in that space. Would you forgive me if I perhaps said it was trust. If a man comes up to you and says you are beautiful... you don't trust them to be honest with you. However in his eyes with his experiences and choices he may well believe that. I would argue thats just as realistic, wouldn't you say? | |||
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"Honestly, on a sight full of penis and boobs and people talking about eating mars bars from various orifices, I just can't take it seriously. Hence I don't take myself seriously. Also, I know how much attention I get in real life. Zero. It's zero. I can actually remember the last time I got chatted up, let's just say I was in my twenties. So I know the photos of me aren't a good representation of the real me (yes I could change this but I don't want to) and I don't fall for all the shite men chuck at you on here. You call it self depreciation, I just call it being realistic. " You must have excellent photography / Photoshop skills then as your pictures are always lovely. So that's a positive for you. | |||
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"Honestly, on a sight full of penis and boobs and people talking about eating mars bars from various orifices, I just can't take it seriously. Hence I don't take myself seriously. Also, I know how much attention I get in real life. Zero. It's zero. I can actually remember the last time I got chatted up, let's just say I was in my twenties. So I know the photos of me aren't a good representation of the real me (yes I could change this but I don't want to) and I don't fall for all the shite men chuck at you on here. You call it self depreciation, I just call it being realistic. Serious question...in real life, are you often in situations conducive to being chatted up?" Is Asda a hotspot for getting chatted up? | |||
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"OK. I'm hot. There, I said it. F" VAR… results show… correct!!! | |||
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"Honestly, on a sight full of penis and boobs and people talking about eating mars bars from various orifices, I just can't take it seriously. Hence I don't take myself seriously. Also, I know how much attention I get in real life. Zero. It's zero. I can actually remember the last time I got chatted up, let's just say I was in my twenties. So I know the photos of me aren't a good representation of the real me (yes I could change this but I don't want to) and I don't fall for all the shite men chuck at you on here. You call it self depreciation, I just call it being realistic. Serious question...in real life, are you often in situations conducive to being chatted up? Is Asda a hotspot for getting chatted up?" Unexpected item in emotional baggage area. | |||
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"OK. I'm hot. There, I said it. F VAR… results show… correct!!!" Vulva and Rectum? No, they are pretty grim actually. F | |||
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"Ain't no thing like me, 'cept me'
I am true to myself and only ever know how to be me, straight talking and knows my worth. Tough but I've had to be, empathic because I know how horrible it feels to not be understood. Kind because what else is there and if I converse with you I listen, no place for egotistical nonsense in my world. I love my humour, I love to laugh and to dance, I give with my all and take nothing. For once on my life I am loving who I am;
Work in progress
Body confident
Perfectly imperfect.
"Love this wholeheartedly. Absolute pleasure to witness. | |||
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"OK. I'm hot. There, I said it. F VAR… results show… correct!!! Vulva and Rectum? No, they are pretty grim actually. F" After getting a third opinion from the ref… still correct | |||
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"Two things: I like how I no longer give a toss about Why some people have been nasty. And I LOVE how I’ve embraced being daft and silly to make my little one laugh. Three years ago both of these traits were a long way out of reach, today they are easy Xx " And you've grown massively in the process! Be who you want to be dont let anything or anyone stop you! | |||
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"I love the fact that I'm not Willy Wonka...I don't sugar coat shit x" people look down on this but no idea why. It lets you know exactly where you stand with someone, just because a person might not like what they see, doesn't put you in the wrong. Love it. A pleasure to meet you. | |||
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"I love the fact that I'm not Willy Wonka...I don't sugar coat shit x people look down on this but no idea why. It lets you know exactly where you stand with someone, just because a person might not like what they see, doesn't put you in the wrong. Love it. A pleasure to meet you. "Exactly. People who know me, know that if they ask me for advice/a question etc I will be completely honest. Pleasure to meet you too | |||
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"I see a lot of self deprecation on here and it saddens me. I understand there are reasons but inherently I would love to know What the fear of saying or feeling lovable or worth something is to you. I understand people confuse loving yourself for arrogance or ego.. you can love yourself without being either of these things and I think this fear keeps people subdued. How about we all say something loving to our selves that we deep down we know to be true? I love my unique perspective of life and my unconditionally loving personality. I know occasionally with my intention set the way it is I can put myself in rough positions, however I also know I have the capacity and kindness to navigate those stormy seas and better myself whilst able to offer the insights articulately to others. Love you, me. Your turn. ***Positivity thread if you don't want to take part then please don't spoil it for others.***
"I don't know if this breaks your rules, but you can't take this place too seriously, you just can't. Self depreciation is what some people just do too. Most of us are British here after all! For me it is only straight politics (and maybe very intentional rudeness or unpleasantness) that really bothers me here, and even then I try and get myself to pull back. And do you really want to know people fears? I get you want to help people, but be careful you don't offend anyone. And be wary of the wary (ie their reactions) - Fab is a jaded place sometimes, and that can accidentally offend sometimes. I've seen that from you too I think. Anyway - it's good to be positive, but be thoughtful and critical too I say, and be careful not to leave out ourselves in that too. Try and do it all I say. pt | |||
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"Honestly, on a sight full of penis and boobs and people talking about eating mars bars from various orifices, I just can't take it seriously. Hence I don't take myself seriously. Also, I know how much attention I get in real life. Zero. It's zero. I can actually remember the last time I got chatted up, let's just say I was in my twenties. So I know the photos of me aren't a good representation of the real me (yes I could change this but I don't want to) and I don't fall for all the shite men chuck at you on here. You call it self depreciation, I just call it being realistic. Serious question...in real life, are you often in situations conducive to being chatted up? Is Asda a hotspot for getting chatted up? Unexpected item in emotional baggage area." I guess it's funny to some. | |||
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" Unexpected item in emotional baggage area."  Ricky……this is BRILLIANT
nicking it! | |||
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"I see a lot of self deprecation on here and it saddens me. I understand there are reasons but inherently I would love to know What the fear of saying or feeling lovable or worth something is to you. I understand people confuse loving yourself for arrogance or ego.. you can love yourself without being either of these things and I think this fear keeps people subdued. How about we all say something loving to our selves that we deep down we know to be true? I love my unique perspective of life and my unconditionally loving personality. I know occasionally with my intention set the way it is I can put myself in rough positions, however I also know I have the capacity and kindness to navigate those stormy seas and better myself whilst able to offer the insights articulately to others. Love you, me. Your turn. ***Positivity thread if you don't want to take part then please don't spoil it for others.***
I don't know if this breaks your rules, but you can't take this place too seriously, you just can't. Self depreciation is what some people just do too. Most of us are British here after all!
For me it is only straight politics (and maybe very intentional rudeness or unpleasantness) that really bothers me here, and even then I try and get myself to pull back.
And do you really want to know people fears? I get you want to help people, but be careful you don't offend anyone. And be wary of the wary (ie their reactions) - Fab is a jaded place sometimes, and that can accidentally offend sometimes. I've seen that from you too I think.
Anyway - it's good to be positive, but be thoughtful and critical too I say, and be careful not to leave out ourselves in that too. Try and do it all I say.
pt"its peoples choice to be offended, I just look at the world and see it needs more smiles and less anxiety. Thats my intention, the consequences are out of my hands if people want to make this about how offended they are then it serves to show me who is self aware and who isn't. I can block appropriately. I won't live in fear of what other people think. You'd only be living their lives. I appreciate and acknowledge the thought though 100% | |||
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I'm a shy, awkward, and insecure guy but I'm also honest, sensitive, and loving with a daft sense of humour. Even though I am afraid to open up to people and say what I'm really thinking, it still doesn't stop me from trying to push myself and express myself in the ways I enjoy. I'm also really grateful for the fact that I have friends in my life who can see the good in me when I can't see it at all sometimes
I'm always learning and always growing. Perhaps at a much slower pace than other people but it's a pace which suits me best | |||
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"Honestly, on a sight full of penis and boobs and people talking about eating mars bars from various orifices, I just can't take it seriously. Hence I don't take myself seriously. Also, I know how much attention I get in real life. Zero. It's zero. I can actually remember the last time I got chatted up, let's just say I was in my twenties. So I know the photos of me aren't a good representation of the real me (yes I could change this but I don't want to) and I don't fall for all the shite men chuck at you on here. You call it self depreciation, I just call it being realistic. Serious question...in real life, are you often in situations conducive to being chatted up? Is Asda a hotspot for getting chatted up? Unexpected item in emotional baggage area. I guess it's funny to some." Not to everyone, just want to make that clear. Probably people like them that have made you feel the way you do. I can only apologise. | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. " May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. | |||
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"You make some great points. It's been nice to read everyone's posts on this so I'll add my own
I'm a shy, awkward, and insecure guy but I'm also honest, sensitive, and loving with a daft sense of humour. Even though I am afraid to open up to people and say what I'm really thinking, it still doesn't stop me from trying to push myself and express myself in the ways I enjoy. I'm also really grateful for the fact that I have friends in my life who can see the good in me when I can't see it at all sometimes
I'm always learning and always growing. Perhaps at a much slower pace than other people but it's a pace which suits me best"its your pace bud, fuck other people. You do what you feel like you need to do when you feel like its the time. Hope I get to see more of you in the future among the forum! | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start." People. People are arseholes. | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes." What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… | |||
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"Honestly, on a sight full of penis and boobs and people talking about eating mars bars from various orifices, I just can't take it seriously. Hence I don't take myself seriously. Also, I know how much attention I get in real life. Zero. It's zero. I can actually remember the last time I got chatted up, let's just say I was in my twenties. So I know the photos of me aren't a good representation of the real me (yes I could change this but I don't want to) and I don't fall for all the shite men chuck at you on here. You call it self depreciation, I just call it being realistic. " It's like she pulled the thoughts out of my mind | |||
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"What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself…" Personally, I'd rather hurt myself than let some other asshole do it | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes." Some people i know its easier to think that everyone's an asshole. We don't have to let our guard down... but there are people you know and will know that while they have the capacity to be assholes... choose not to be. Im sure you know of 1 or 2 at the very least. Have to remember that its not a certainty... because thats when opportunities fly by the wayside, does that make sense? | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself…" Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. " My dms are always open, if you need to rant or open up | |||
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"What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Personally, I'd rather hurt myself than let some other asshole do it "I don't think I like the idea of you, or anyone else hurting at all. I know that's completely not my choice, but just because hurt is a norm you are used to... doesn't mean to say it has to be that way, just a perspective | |||
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"I see a lot of self deprecation on here and it saddens me. I understand there are reasons but inherently I would love to know What the fear of saying or feeling lovable or worth something is to you. I understand people confuse loving yourself for arrogance or ego.. you can love yourself without being either of these things and I think this fear keeps people subdued. How about we all say something loving to our selves that we deep down we know to be true? I love my unique perspective of life and my unconditionally loving personality. I know occasionally with my intention set the way it is I can put myself in rough positions, however I also know I have the capacity and kindness to navigate those stormy seas and better myself whilst able to offer the insights articulately to others. Love you, me. Your turn. ***Positivity thread if you don't want to take part then please don't spoil it for others.*** "I trained as a Psychotherapist (I know, how crazy is that?)...What would you like to say? | |||
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"What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Personally, I'd rather hurt myself than let some other asshole do it "Different perspectives on life. some Would say they’d rather be the one doing the hurting before they get hurt | |||
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"What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Personally, I'd rather hurt myself than let some other asshole do it
I don't think I like the idea of you, or anyone else hurting at all. I know that's completely not my choice, but just because hurt is a norm you are used to... doesn't mean to say it has to be that way, just a perspective "OP you have a great mindset!! I hope you the very best. | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes." Jean Paul Sartre I believe | |||
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"I see a lot of self deprecation on here and it saddens me. I understand there are reasons but inherently I would love to know What the fear of saying or feeling lovable or worth something is to you. I understand people confuse loving yourself for arrogance or ego.. you can love yourself without being either of these things and I think this fear keeps people subdued. How about we all say something loving to our selves that we deep down we know to be true? I love my unique perspective of life and my unconditionally loving personality. I know occasionally with my intention set the way it is I can put myself in rough positions, however I also know I have the capacity and kindness to navigate those stormy seas and better myself whilst able to offer the insights articulately to others. Love you, me. Your turn. ***Positivity thread if you don't want to take part then please don't spoil it for others.***
I trained as a Psychotherapist (I know, how crazy is that?)...What would you like to say?"Golly Gosh ...... this place is awash ....  | |||
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"I see a lot of self deprecation on here and it saddens me. I understand there are reasons but inherently I would love to know What the fear of saying or feeling lovable or worth something is to you. I understand people confuse loving yourself for arrogance or ego.. you can love yourself without being either of these things and I think this fear keeps people subdued. How about we all say something loving to our selves that we deep down we know to be true? I love my unique perspective of life and my unconditionally loving personality. I know occasionally with my intention set the way it is I can put myself in rough positions, however I also know I have the capacity and kindness to navigate those stormy seas and better myself whilst able to offer the insights articulately to others. Love you, me. Your turn. ***Positivity thread if you don't want to take part then please don't spoil it for others.*** "My whole 'journey' has about being authentic but, sadly, it upsets a lot of people. | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. " It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. | |||
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"I love my self deprecating humour " Me too. It is charming and attractive. | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. My dms are always open, if you need to rant or open up "I'm good thanks | |||
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"What if people are being self deprecating because they genuinely, do not like themselves? Is that allowed?" In my book. Yes. No one owns what you think and say in here .... cept admin and mods and maybe your mum. | |||
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"Its a thread called self reflection thats all counselling is.. Whenever people self reflect... the defenses come up. I can stop commenting if you guys would prefer. But with the greatest respect I'd much rather talk about this than your asses tits and whos popular, as lovely as im sure they all are. " To be fair if someone is desperate enough to 'open up' in public then I don't think it's your fault. I'd believe they were totally lost and just a sacrificial lamb. | |||
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"I've shared some deep personal stuff today so I'm a little spent. I think it's a lovely post though OP so I want to offer a little too. I think just being kind to yourself is important. Accepting you aren't perfect and that's ok. Nobody is." Ahem. | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. " You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. | |||
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"I've shared some deep personal stuff today so I'm a little spent. I think it's a lovely post though OP so I want to offer a little too. I think just being kind to yourself is important. Accepting you aren't perfect and that's ok. Nobody is." Thanks bud I appreciate that. I hope whatever is going on for you, pans out in the easiest way possible. | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. " Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it | |||
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"What if people are being self deprecating because they genuinely, do not like themselves? Is that allowed?" The thing is that others don't believe it. It's assumed that saying negative things about oneself is attention seeking and not your actual thoughts, probably something to do with the erroneous belief that "you're showing off your pictures and flirting, you can't think those things really". | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it " I know there are decent people in the world and whilst well intentioned they can actually cause great harm to a person who 'opens up' ...... it's not a game and it's not just listening. Trained professionals just wouldn't do it. | |||
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"I've shared some deep personal stuff today so I'm a little spent. I think it's a lovely post though OP so I want to offer a little too. I think just being kind to yourself is important. Accepting you aren't perfect and that's ok. Nobody is. Ahem. " Amen | |||
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" Unexpected item in emotional baggage area. Ricky……this is BRILLIANT
nicking it!"- will add, I think the particular quote is awesome, not the missive it was sent as | |||
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"I've shared some deep personal stuff today so I'm a little spent. I think it's a lovely post though OP so I want to offer a little too. I think just being kind to yourself is important. Accepting you aren't perfect and that's ok. Nobody is. Thanks bud I appreciate that. I hope whatever is going on for you, pans out in the easiest way possible. " I'm good there's always my stones in passway, but I like the blues. | |||
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"Honestly, on a sight full of penis and boobs and people talking about eating mars bars from various orifices, I just can't take it seriously. Hence I don't take myself seriously. Also, I know how much attention I get in real life. Zero. It's zero. I can actually remember the last time I got chatted up, let's just say I was in my twenties. So I know the photos of me aren't a good representation of the real me (yes I could change this but I don't want to) and I don't fall for all the shite men chuck at you on here. You call it self depreciation, I just call it being realistic. " I had an attempt to chat me up at the weekend, the first time in years and years. It just never happens. I'm happy with how I look, sometimes I look shit, sometimes I look really good. | |||
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"I've shared some deep personal stuff today so I'm a little spent. I think it's a lovely post though OP so I want to offer a little too. I think just being kind to yourself is important. Accepting you aren't perfect and that's ok. Nobody is. Ahem. Amen" Are you resting your case Hants ? | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it I know there are decent people in the world and whilst well intentioned they can actually cause great harm to a person who 'opens up' ...... it's not a game and it's not just listening. Trained professionals just wouldn't do it. " My opinion says it I see someone who needs a hand or a few kind words to help them theoigh their day, I’ll do that rather than seeing them struggle and think it’s a professionals job. Everyone has a different perspective I guess | |||
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" Unexpected item in emotional baggage area. Ricky……this is BRILLIANT
nicking it! - will add, I think the particular quote is awesome, not the missive it was sent as"I thought it was very witty and designed to cheer folk up ...... what a tonic | |||
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"What if people are being self deprecating because they genuinely, do not like themselves? Is that allowed? The thing is that others don't believe it. It's assumed that saying negative things about oneself is attention seeking and not your actual thoughts, probably something to do with the erroneous belief that "you're showing off your pictures and flirting, you can't think those things really"." I can see this totally, I'm not in that wagon of thinkers, I get experiences can shape a perspective that doesn't paint yourself in a good light. I also understand it could have happened for so long its all you see...Am I wrong for questioning it? Without questions there will never be answers. And whether now or in 20 years time, if I asked a question that someone finally finds an answer to then its worth the bullshit in the meantime right? | |||
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"What if people are being self deprecating because they genuinely, do not like themselves? Is that allowed? The thing is that others don't believe it. It's assumed that saying negative things about oneself is attention seeking and not your actual thoughts, probably something to do with the erroneous belief that "you're showing off your pictures and flirting, you can't think those things really"." Not true of all people. Those of us who have felt the same way - even if we don’t feel this way now - or those of us who have been close to people who feel this way… we believe. | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it I know there are decent people in the world and whilst well intentioned they can actually cause great harm to a person who 'opens up' ...... it's not a game and it's not just listening. Trained professionals just wouldn't do it. My opinion says it I see someone who needs a hand or a few kind words to help them theoigh their day, I’ll do that rather than seeing them struggle and think it’s a professionals job. Everyone has a different perspective I guess "I share your perspective on daily kindnesses to others. These are not the same thing | |||
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"What if people are being self deprecating because they genuinely, do not like themselves? Is that allowed? The thing is that others don't believe it. It's assumed that saying negative things about oneself is attention seeking and not your actual thoughts, probably something to do with the erroneous belief that "you're showing off your pictures and flirting, you can't think those things really". I can see this totally, I'm not in that wagon of thinkers, I get experiences can shape a perspective that doesn't paint yourself in a good light. I also understand it could have happened for so long its all you see...Am I wrong for questioning it? Without questions there will never be answers. And whether now or in 20 years time, if I asked a question that someone finally finds an answer to then its worth the bullshit in the meantime right?" Absolutely... have at it. Sometimes the questions actually make it through the self loathing for a moment and positivity can be found  | |||
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"What if people are being self deprecating because they genuinely, do not like themselves? Is that allowed? The thing is that others don't believe it. It's assumed that saying negative things about oneself is attention seeking and not your actual thoughts, probably something to do with the erroneous belief that "you're showing off your pictures and flirting, you can't think those things really". I can see this totally, I'm not in that wagon of thinkers, I get experiences can shape a perspective that doesn't paint yourself in a good light. I also understand it could have happened for so long its all you see...Am I wrong for questioning it? Without questions there will never be answers. And whether now or in 20 years time, if I asked a question that someone finally finds an answer to then its worth the bullshit in the meantime right? Absolutely... have at it. Sometimes the questions actually make it through the self loathing for a moment and positivity can be found "couldnt have said it better myself...Cross your fingers for me...im going in  | |||
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"What if people are being self deprecating because they genuinely, do not like themselves? Is that allowed? The thing is that others don't believe it. It's assumed that saying negative things about oneself is attention seeking and not your actual thoughts, probably something to do with the erroneous belief that "you're showing off your pictures and flirting, you can't think those things really". Not true of all people. Those of us who have felt the same way - even if we don’t feel this way now - or those of us who have been close to people who feel this way… we believe. " I forgot to clarify with "some" and "not all". There are people who believe. | |||
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"What if people are being self deprecating because they genuinely, do not like themselves? Is that allowed? The thing is that others don't believe it. It's assumed that saying negative things about oneself is attention seeking and not your actual thoughts, probably something to do with the erroneous belief that "you're showing off your pictures and flirting, you can't think those things really". I can see this totally, I'm not in that wagon of thinkers, I get experiences can shape a perspective that doesn't paint yourself in a good light. I also understand it could have happened for so long its all you see...Am I wrong for questioning it? Without questions there will never be answers. And whether now or in 20 years time, if I asked a question that someone finally finds an answer to then its worth the bullshit in the meantime right? Absolutely... have at it. Sometimes the questions actually make it through the self loathing for a moment and positivity can be found couldnt have said it better myself...Cross your fingers for me...im going in "I'll have the plasters for the wounds after | |||
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"I love the person I rebuilt from a place of real darkness." She means Manchester, people! | |||
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"I love the person I rebuilt from a place of real darkness. I love that I’m now grateful to wake up every day. I love that I actively try and make the world a better place. I love that I know who I am and make no apologies for it. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok. " xx | |||
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"Stephen, I like Lots of things about you. Not just the superficial shit that I’ve learned to love. I love especially your commitment to making others feel safe and comfortable in your presence. Even if it does also make you want to scream and cry internally. You care about other people. That’s cool. P.s. I also love that you speak about social Justice like the social Justice warrior that you are. X" Hell yeah! Love this its nice to meet you, finally, after so many threads, haha. I would ask you the question, do you think there's a balance you can find between making others feel safe and comfortable, and doing the same for yourself?... love the vibe 100% | |||
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"I love the person I rebuilt from a place of real darkness. She means Manchester, people! " Or Warrington ..... it could be Warrington | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it " Teach a baby the sky is green, it'll believe it, then when others try to point out the sky is actually blue it won't believe the at first, if they manage to show the child it's actually blue imagine what happens. Truly imagine it. It won't trust anything and will start to question everything and won't feel safe or trusting. Imagine then If another comes and says no it's green. Imagine what the child thinks and feels. You won't undo that in a few sentences, or one conversation. | |||
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"I love the person I rebuilt from a place of real darkness. She means Manchester, people! " Bugger off scouser. I Mancunia | |||
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"I love the person I rebuilt from a place of real darkness. I love that I’m now grateful to wake up every day. I love that I actively try and make the world a better place. I love that I know who I am and make no apologies for it. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok. " this is beautiful to read... who would want to be everyone's cup of tea anyway? imagine the hassle. | |||
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"Stephen, I like Lots of things about you. Not just the superficial shit that I’ve learned to love. I love especially your commitment to making others feel safe and comfortable in your presence. Even if it does also make you want to scream and cry internally. You care about other people. That’s cool. P.s. I also love that you speak about social Justice like the social Justice warrior that you are. X Hell yeah! Love this it’s nice to meet you, finally, after so many threads, haha. I would ask you the question, do you think there's a balance you can find between making others feel safe and comfortable, and doing the same for yourself?... love the vibe 100%"Nice to meet you too great thread btw.
In terms of balance, I’m working on it. Working on being able to stand firm on my boundaries whilst also being there for others and communicating well with them. Speaking up is something I’ve found tough all my life. Until therapy | |||
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"I've shared some deep personal stuff today so I'm a little spent. I think it's a lovely post though OP so I want to offer a little too. I think just being kind to yourself is important. Accepting you aren't perfect and that's ok. Nobody is. Ahem. Amen Are you resting your case Hants ?" Granny I'm not sure what case you are referring to. But there's nothing that needs resting. I have some work to do, but you are welcome to DM me if you have something you'd like to discuss. | |||
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"Stephen, I like Lots of things about you. Not just the superficial shit that I’ve learned to love. I love especially your commitment to making others feel safe and comfortable in your presence. Even if it does also make you want to scream and cry internally. You care about other people. That’s cool. P.s. I also love that you speak about social Justice like the social Justice warrior that you are. X Hell yeah! Love this it’s nice to meet you, finally, after so many threads, haha. I would ask you the question, do you think there's a balance you can find between making others feel safe and comfortable, and doing the same for yourself?... love the vibe 100%
Nice to meet you too great thread btw.
In terms of balance, I’m working on it. Working on being able to stand firm on my boundaries whilst also being there for others and communicating well with them. Speaking up is something I’ve found tough all my life. Until therapy "Thanks bud doesnt go down well with everyone but you can't please them all. Just remember.. if you are at 80% you can only be 80% for other people.. if you are run down to 20% you can only be 20% for other people. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for others is to love yourself thats how I find my balance.maybe it could be of some use. | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it Teach a baby the sky is green, it'll believe it, then when others try to point out the sky is actually blue it won't believe the at first, if they manage to show the child it's actually blue imagine what happens. Truly imagine it. It won't trust anything and will start to question everything and won't feel safe or trusting. Imagine then If another comes and says no it's green. Imagine what the child thinks and feels. You won't undo that in a few sentences, or one conversation." Totally relatable and a brilliant way of explaining things. Mrs | |||
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"I've shared some deep personal stuff today so I'm a little spent. I think it's a lovely post though OP so I want to offer a little too. I think just being kind to yourself is important. Accepting you aren't perfect and that's ok. Nobody is. Ahem. Amen Are you resting your case Hants ? Granny I'm not sure what case you are referring to. But there's nothing that needs resting. I have some work to do, but you are welcome to DM me if you have something you'd like to discuss." You said 'Amen' So be it. I won't need to DM you. Mine was a throw away forum comment. Enjoy your work. | |||
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"I love the person I rebuilt from a place of real darkness. She means Manchester, people! Bugger off scouser. I Mancunia" | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it Teach a baby the sky is green, it'll believe it, then when others try to point out the sky is actually blue it won't believe the at first, if they manage to show the child it's actually blue imagine what happens. Truly imagine it. It won't trust anything and will start to question everything and won't feel safe or trusting. Imagine then If another comes and says no it's green. Imagine what the child thinks and feels. You won't undo that in a few sentences, or one conversation. Totally relatable and a brilliant way of explaining things. Mrs " I'm hesitant about replying to this train of conversation after things that were said earlier. But I shall ask a question, since you guys are drawn here enough to still be posting... The kid chooses to believe the first person, its all they know The kid chooses to believe the second person because they think or are told the new person knows better. The kid gets told the first was really correct and choose to believe them... you can add in the positive and go... phew I know the truth now. You could add the negative and go.. that person isn't trustworthy ill never trust anyone again. Or you can go .. hmmm I have a choice of what to believe. The world didn't crumble because the sky was green in your eyes. The fear lies from being wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. If this is your choice I respect it, but I choose to see things as experiences. Its less drama, less chaotic and a lot simpler. | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it Teach a baby the sky is green, it'll believe it, then when others try to point out the sky is actually blue it won't believe the at first, if they manage to show the child it's actually blue imagine what happens. Truly imagine it. It won't trust anything and will start to question everything and won't feel safe or trusting. Imagine then If another comes and says no it's green. Imagine what the child thinks and feels. You won't undo that in a few sentences, or one conversation. Totally relatable and a brilliant way of explaining things. Mrs I'm hesitant about replying to this train of conversation after things that were said earlier. But I shall ask a question, since you guys are drawn here enough to still be posting... The kid chooses to believe the first person, its all they know The kid chooses to believe the second person because they think or are told the new person knows better. The kid gets told the first was really correct and choose to believe them... you can add in the positive and go... phew I know the truth now. You could add the negative and go.. that person isn't trustworthy ill never trust anyone again. Or you can go .. hmmm I have a choice of what to believe. The world didn't crumble because the sky was green in your eyes. The fear lies from being wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. If this is your choice I respect it, but I choose to see things as experiences. Its less drama, less chaotic and a lot simpler. " Sure, rationally, this might make sense. But much like respect, trust is something that is easily broken, but very hard to fix. Once you stop trusting people, it’s immensely difficult to start again. And I mean people, plural. Bad experiences with a few people can destroy your trust in all people. | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it Teach a baby the sky is green, it'll believe it, then when others try to point out the sky is actually blue it won't believe the at first, if they manage to show the child it's actually blue imagine what happens. Truly imagine it. It won't trust anything and will start to question everything and won't feel safe or trusting. Imagine then If another comes and says no it's green. Imagine what the child thinks and feels. You won't undo that in a few sentences, or one conversation. Totally relatable and a brilliant way of explaining things. Mrs I'm hesitant about replying to this train of conversation after things that were said earlier. But I shall ask a question, since you guys are drawn here enough to still be posting... The kid chooses to believe the first person, its all they know The kid chooses to believe the second person because they think or are told the new person knows better. The kid gets told the first was really correct and choose to believe them... you can add in the positive and go... phew I know the truth now. You could add the negative and go.. that person isn't trustworthy ill never trust anyone again. Or you can go .. hmmm I have a choice of what to believe. The world didn't crumble because the sky was green in your eyes. The fear lies from being wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. If this is your choice I respect it, but I choose to see things as experiences. Its less drama, less chaotic and a lot simpler. Sure, rationally, this might make sense. But much like respect, trust is something that is easily broken, but very hard to fix. Once you stop trusting people, it’s immensely difficult to start again. And I mean people, plural. Bad experiences with a few people can destroy your trust in all people. " I appreciate that totally. I really do. It feels difficult. But its easy to focus on who you can't trust and see who you can trust. Who is out there to show you that trust is viable and can be given. Would you prevent yourself from ever trusting anyone again? have you? Or do you reserve trust because that's different to being unable to trust at all. If you know its possible then thats a good place to start. | |||
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"I'm pretty confident and happy in myself in general. I occasionally self deprecate over my weight, not usually negatively but humourously or matter of factly. I possibly declared myself awesome at work this morning and the two other people in the conversation agreed, so obvs it must just be true "Proud of you, keep it up! | |||
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"I'm pretty confident and happy in myself in general. I occasionally self deprecate over my weight, not usually negatively but humourously or matter of factly. I possibly declared myself awesome at work this morning and the two other people in the conversation agreed, so obvs it must just be true "100% true! I can see it.. you can see it. Its a fact now. A consensus. Keep being awesome! | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it Teach a baby the sky is green, it'll believe it, then when others try to point out the sky is actually blue it won't believe the at first, if they manage to show the child it's actually blue imagine what happens. Truly imagine it. It won't trust anything and will start to question everything and won't feel safe or trusting. Imagine then If another comes and says no it's green. Imagine what the child thinks and feels. You won't undo that in a few sentences, or one conversation. Totally relatable and a brilliant way of explaining things. Mrs I'm hesitant about replying to this train of conversation after things that were said earlier. But I shall ask a question, since you guys are drawn here enough to still be posting... The kid chooses to believe the first person, its all they know The kid chooses to believe the second person because they think or are told the new person knows better. The kid gets told the first was really correct and choose to believe them... you can add in the positive and go... phew I know the truth now. You could add the negative and go.. that person isn't trustworthy ill never trust anyone again. Or you can go .. hmmm I have a choice of what to believe. The world didn't crumble because the sky was green in your eyes. The fear lies from being wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. If this is your choice I respect it, but I choose to see things as experiences. Its less drama, less chaotic and a lot simpler. " I think you missed the point completely. Some things are much deeper than you think. Have you actually been through any shit in your life OP? | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it Teach a baby the sky is green, it'll believe it, then when others try to point out the sky is actually blue it won't believe the at first, if they manage to show the child it's actually blue imagine what happens. Truly imagine it. It won't trust anything and will start to question everything and won't feel safe or trusting. Imagine then If another comes and says no it's green. Imagine what the child thinks and feels. You won't undo that in a few sentences, or one conversation. Totally relatable and a brilliant way of explaining things. Mrs I'm hesitant about replying to this train of conversation after things that were said earlier. But I shall ask a question, since you guys are drawn here enough to still be posting... The kid chooses to believe the first person, its all they know The kid chooses to believe the second person because they think or are told the new person knows better. The kid gets told the first was really correct and choose to believe them... you can add in the positive and go... phew I know the truth now. You could add the negative and go.. that person isn't trustworthy ill never trust anyone again. Or you can go .. hmmm I have a choice of what to believe. The world didn't crumble because the sky was green in your eyes. The fear lies from being wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. If this is your choice I respect it, but I choose to see things as experiences. Its less drama, less chaotic and a lot simpler. I think you missed the point completely. Some things are much deeper than you think. Have you actually been through any shit in your life OP?" What do you want me to say here. I could be snarky and say zero none at all. Zilch.. in which case my opinions would be undermined by what? My immaturity? I could say more than most but I don't wish to share, in which case I'm sure you wouldn't believe me, or you might look for more information to compare.. to which id say I've dealt with it... and you'd not believe me. I could not reply at all in which id be rude .... There is no good answer for me here. | |||
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"There are two kinds of people in the world: 1. Those who adore me. 2. Those with poor taste and judgement. That is all. " So...you cut toes huh? Not just the nails? | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience "You may know "your" stuff, put people have gone through different things and people deal with them in different ways. Not everyone can just teach themselves to get over something. Some can, some can't. People are different, who knew. | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
You may know "your" stuff, put people have gone through different things and people deal with them in different ways. Not everyone can just teach themselves to get over something. Some can, some can't.
People are different, who knew."PW was right you are starting to seem not so different... | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
You may know "your" stuff, put people have gone through different things and people deal with them in different ways. Not everyone can just teach themselves to get over something. Some can, some can't.
People are different, who knew.
PW was right you are starting to seem not so different..."Meaning? | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
You may know "your" stuff, put people have gone through different things and people deal with them in different ways. Not everyone can just teach themselves to get over something. Some can, some can't.
People are different, who knew."This actually isn't true in my opinion All humans have a heart a brain a mouth and so on... your perspectives are different 100% but humans exist by certain universal laws... inherently all humans (perspectives, experiences and choices aside) work the same. | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
You may know "your" stuff, put people have gone through different things and people deal with them in different ways. Not everyone can just teach themselves to get over something. Some can, some can't.
People are different, who knew.
This actually isn't true in my opinion All humans have a heart a brain a mouth and so on... your perspectives are different 100% but humans exist by certain universal laws... inherently all humans (perspectives, experiences and choices aside) work the same. "you’re kind of agreeing here | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
You may know "your" stuff, put people have gone through different things and people deal with them in different ways. Not everyone can just teach themselves to get over something. Some can, some can't.
People are different, who knew.
This actually isn't true in my opinion All humans have a heart a brain a mouth and so on... your perspectives are different 100% but humans exist by certain universal laws... inherently all humans (perspectives, experiences and choices aside) work the same. you’re kind of agreeing here "To some degree.. people have different experiences yes. What they do to process store reflect memorise etc that information is the same. Take it from a subjective standpoint. What is it they say there are a total of 7 or 11? stories in the world.. but millions of books films and other versions of stories. The details don't matter the underlying essence is the same. Same for humans. | |||
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"I genuinely don't like how I look. I hate my body and I don't really pretend otherwise on here. However I do believe I am a lovely person. I love my heart and my kind nature. I like that I'm a big soft romantic. Even if it is often frowned upon here " I think you'll find a lot of people are... everyone wants a connection. Some call it romantic, others chemistry qnd some attraction... different sides of the same coin. Revel in who you are and what you enjoy! Be proud of it. And if people are frowning... screw them | |||
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"My life hasn't been easy, but I am soft and I am kind. I am so tough. I'm a good egg.
I love you Lots lemon and this is a serious post but also yes, you do look very soft  "my bad ** | |||
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"My life hasn't been easy, but I am soft and I am kind. I am so tough. I'm a good egg. "definitely strong to remain soft and kind after hardship. I hope you are proud of yourself and how far you have come | |||
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"My life hasn't been easy, but I am soft and I am kind. I am so tough. I'm a good egg. "The kind of egg I want in my fridge anyway. Wait I don't wanna murder you | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it Teach a baby the sky is green, it'll believe it, then when others try to point out the sky is actually blue it won't believe the at first, if they manage to show the child it's actually blue imagine what happens. Truly imagine it. It won't trust anything and will start to question everything and won't feel safe or trusting. Imagine then If another comes and says no it's green. Imagine what the child thinks and feels. You won't undo that in a few sentences, or one conversation. Totally relatable and a brilliant way of explaining things. Mrs I'm hesitant about replying to this train of conversation after things that were said earlier. But I shall ask a question, since you guys are drawn here enough to still be posting... The kid chooses to believe the first person, its all they know The kid chooses to believe the second person because they think or are told the new person knows better. The kid gets told the first was really correct and choose to believe them... you can add in the positive and go... phew I know the truth now. You could add the negative and go.. that person isn't trustworthy ill never trust anyone again. Or you can go .. hmmm I have a choice of what to believe. The world didn't crumble because the sky was green in your eyes. The fear lies from being wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. If this is your choice I respect it, but I choose to see things as experiences. Its less drama, less chaotic and a lot simpler. I think you missed the point completely. Some things are much deeper than you think. Have you actually been through any shit in your life OP? What do you want me to say here. I could be snarky and say zero none at all. Zilch.. in which case my opinions would be undermined by what? My immaturity? I could say more than most but I don't wish to share, in which case I'm sure you wouldn't believe me, or you might look for more information to compare.. to which id say I've dealt with it... and you'd not believe me. I could not reply at all in which id be rude .... There is no good answer for me here. " The sheer fact you can't be honest and have just given probable outcomes that are all negative could suggest your game player trying to fish for what you'd come off best with. Not gonna work. And I'm not trusting you now at all. | |||
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"I genuinely don't like how I look. I hate my body and I don't really pretend otherwise on here. However I do believe I am a lovely person. I love my heart and my kind nature. I like that I'm a big soft romantic. Even if it is often frowned upon here " I think it's great that you are a romantic person here. It shouldn't be frowned upon since we are all here for our own individual reasons | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience "Working with people in a day to day capacity of what exactly??? Are you an insta life coach or something? | |||
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"Confidence feels arrogance Assertiveness feels like aggression I feel selfish when I want my needs or wants met. Translate that and it'll explain a lot about me. What you'll see of me at first is just my mechanism to protect myself. I'm trying to change it. But it's going to take a lot of work. May I ask what you are protecting yourself from? May well be a good place to start. People. People are arseholes. What if protecting yourself is only gonna end up hurting yourself… Why does this feel like a counselling session? I'm not going to elaborate on the forums where liars and manipulators can see my answers, I've said quite enough. It feels like a counselling session because someone is trying to practise on you .... No one worth their salt would ask such questions in a swingers forum. You sure they're trying to practice? it could be that they are in on 'it' and helping the people get ammunition. Or maybe.. just maybe there could be some decent people left in this world, if only there was a way to see through it Teach a baby the sky is green, it'll believe it, then when others try to point out the sky is actually blue it won't believe the at first, if they manage to show the child it's actually blue imagine what happens. Truly imagine it. It won't trust anything and will start to question everything and won't feel safe or trusting. Imagine then If another comes and says no it's green. Imagine what the child thinks and feels. You won't undo that in a few sentences, or one conversation. Totally relatable and a brilliant way of explaining things. Mrs I'm hesitant about replying to this train of conversation after things that were said earlier. But I shall ask a question, since you guys are drawn here enough to still be posting... The kid chooses to believe the first person, its all they know The kid chooses to believe the second person because they think or are told the new person knows better. The kid gets told the first was really correct and choose to believe them... you can add in the positive and go... phew I know the truth now. You could add the negative and go.. that person isn't trustworthy ill never trust anyone again. Or you can go .. hmmm I have a choice of what to believe. The world didn't crumble because the sky was green in your eyes. The fear lies from being wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. If this is your choice I respect it, but I choose to see things as experiences. Its less drama, less chaotic and a lot simpler. I think you missed the point completely. Some things are much deeper than you think. Have you actually been through any shit in your life OP? What do you want me to say here. I could be snarky and say zero none at all. Zilch.. in which case my opinions would be undermined by what? My immaturity? I could say more than most but I don't wish to share, in which case I'm sure you wouldn't believe me, or you might look for more information to compare.. to which id say I've dealt with it... and you'd not believe me. I could not reply at all in which id be rude .... There is no good answer for me here. The sheer fact you can't be honest and have just given probable outcomes that are all negative could suggest your game player trying to fish for what you'd come off best with. Not gonna work. And I'm not trusting you now at all. " I'd be lying if I said I didn't see that one coming. I really never asked you to trust me im just a guy on the Internet starting threads to make people smile. Im sorry you feel so opposed to that. Enjoy your day. | |||
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"My life hasn't been easy, but I am soft and I am kind. I am so tough. I'm a good egg.
I love you Lots lemon and this is a serious post but also yes, you do look very soft my bad **"I'm as soft as butter that has been sat in the sunshine on a 15 degree day.
Group hug to all my homies saying nice shit about themselves because we are all as cool as cucumbers. | |||
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"its your pace bud, fuck other people. You do what you feel like you need to do when you feel like its the time. Hope I get to see more of you in the future among the forum! "Cheers Still trying to find my flow here but I am enjoying it and I feel like it's helping me to find the confidence to start putting myself out there more
Thank you for trying to spread a bit of joy and positivity with this thread. I feel that these forums could always do with a bit more of it sometimes | |||
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"My life hasn't been easy, but I am soft and I am kind. I am so tough. I'm a good egg.
I love you Lots lemon and this is a serious post but also yes, you do look very soft my bad **
I'm as soft as butter that has been sat in the sunshine on a 15 degree day.
Group hug to all my homies saying nice shit about themselves because we are all as cool as cucumbers."As an egg you wouldn’t crack if it dropped | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
Working with people in a day to day capacity of what exactly???
Are you an insta life coach or something?"if I asked you that question you would likely tell me to piss off, I will kindly and politely decline answering this question. But for the record I think social media is a toxic environment for people to wallow in misinformation and procrastination, and so I dont use them. | |||
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"its your pace bud, fuck other people. You do what you feel like you need to do when you feel like its the time. Hope I get to see more of you in the future among the forum!
Cheers Still trying to find my flow here but I am enjoying it and I feel like it's helping me to find the confidence to start putting myself out there more
Thank you for trying to spread a bit of joy and positivity with this thread. I feel that these forums could always do with a bit more of it sometimes "Most welcome bud, it'll come! No pun intended. | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
Working with people in a day to day capacity of what exactly???
Are you an insta life coach or something?
"I thin the OP could be an American Jehovah's Witness or something?? pt | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
Working with people in a day to day capacity of what exactly???
Are you an insta life coach or something?
I thin the OP could be an American Jehovah's Witness or something?? pt"
He is rhetoric is SO non Jehovah witness. Made me lol tho | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
Working with people in a day to day capacity of what exactly???
Are you an insta life coach or something?
I thin the OP could be an American Jehovah's Witness or something?? pt"Lmao PT... not quite bud, Religion is for people who don't want to take responsibility for their own miraculous ways. Im more into the believe in yourself... self empowerment. | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
Working with people in a day to day capacity of what exactly???
Are you an insta life coach or something?
I thin the OP could be an American Jehovah's Witness or something?? pt
Lmao PT... not quite bud, Religion is for people who don't want to take responsibility for their own miraculous ways. Im more into the believe in yourself... self empowerment. " | |||
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"This is a difficult one really. I tend to be self-deprecating as an armour. A kind of 'I'll say it before anyone else does as I know you're all thinking it' type response. It's probably a learned behaviour, but how do you unlearn 38yrs? I don't think a lot of myself or put myself first and likely never will. I just potter along as best I can and make the most of the days I don't hate myself. One thing I do like about myself is my ability to help others have confidence in themselves even if I can't for myself "These are good questions! And selflessness is always amazing, what would you say to me if I had just said that I can't be confident? | |||
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"I see a lot of self deprecation on here and it saddens me. I understand there are reasons but inherently I would love to know What the fear of saying or feeling lovable or worth something is to you. I understand people confuse loving yourself for arrogance or ego.. you can love yourself without being either of these things and I think this fear keeps people subdued. How about we all say something loving to our selves that we deep down we know to be true? I love my unique perspective of life and my unconditionally loving personality. I know occasionally with my intention set the way it is I can put myself in rough positions, however I also know I have the capacity and kindness to navigate those stormy seas and better myself whilst able to offer the insights articulately to others. Love you, me. Your turn. ***Positivity thread if you don't want to take part then please don't spoil it for others.***
I don't know if this breaks your rules, but you can't take this place too seriously, you just can't. Self depreciation is what some people just do too. Most of us are British here after all!
For me it is only straight politics (and maybe very intentional rudeness or unpleasantness) that really bothers me here, and even then I try and get myself to pull back.
And do you really want to know people fears? I get you want to help people, but be careful you don't offend anyone. And be wary of the wary (ie their reactions) - Fab is a jaded place sometimes, and that can accidentally offend sometimes. I've seen that from you too I think.
Anyway - it's good to be positive, but be thoughtful and critical too I say, and be careful not to leave out ourselves in that too. Try and do it all I say.
pt its peoples choice to be offended, I just look at the world and see it needs more smiles and less anxiety. Thats my intention, the consequences are out of my hands if people want to make this about how offended they are then it serves to show me who is self aware and who isn't. I can block appropriately. I won't live in fear of what other people think. You'd only be living their lives. I appreciate and acknowledge the thought though 100%
". Ok I will answer this I think... I'm not sure how being offended equals a lack of self-awareness, but you don't seem to be upsetting tooooo many people, so (kind of) well done so far, sort-of. Just please try to help make sure this thread doesn't feel too 'gasslighty', or too CBT - cock and bull torture to lots of people - possibly millions of us have been medicated a bit that in recent years - and remember the OP is never the only person at the helm on Fab of course. People are clearly looking over this thread, which is good. There are a lot of vulnerable people on Fab and this is feeling a bit like one of those self-employed youtube 'self-empowerment' kind of vids. Not everyone thinks those things are top dollar. pt | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
Working with people in a day to day capacity of what exactly???
Are you an insta life coach or something?
I thin the OP could be an American Jehovah's Witness or something?? pt
He is rhetoric is SO non Jehovah witness. Made me lol tho
". Maybe the language, rhetoric - I'm not too sure tbh. The JW don't tend to hang around my gaff long when they call though I admit. I got the American part right though I'm sure. No one in the UK can pull off 'Hell Yeah', that just doesn't happen here. pt | |||
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"I see a lot of self deprecation on here and it saddens me. I understand there are reasons but inherently I would love to know What the fear of saying or feeling lovable or worth something is to you. I understand people confuse loving yourself for arrogance or ego.. you can love yourself without being either of these things and I think this fear keeps people subdued. How about we all say something loving to our selves that we deep down we know to be true? I love my unique perspective of life and my unconditionally loving personality. I know occasionally with my intention set the way it is I can put myself in rough positions, however I also know I have the capacity and kindness to navigate those stormy seas and better myself whilst able to offer the insights articulately to others. Love you, me. Your turn. ***Positivity thread if you don't want to take part then please don't spoil it for others.***
I don't know if this breaks your rules, but you can't take this place too seriously, you just can't. Self depreciation is what some people just do too. Most of us are British here after all!
For me it is only straight politics (and maybe very intentional rudeness or unpleasantness) that really bothers me here, and even then I try and get myself to pull back.
And do you really want to know people fears? I get you want to help people, but be careful you don't offend anyone. And be wary of the wary (ie their reactions) - Fab is a jaded place sometimes, and that can accidentally offend sometimes. I've seen that from you too I think.
Anyway - it's good to be positive, but be thoughtful and critical too I say, and be careful not to leave out ourselves in that too. Try and do it all I say.
pt its peoples choice to be offended, I just look at the world and see it needs more smiles and less anxiety. Thats my intention, the consequences are out of my hands if people want to make this about how offended they are then it serves to show me who is self aware and who isn't. I can block appropriately. I won't live in fear of what other people think. You'd only be living their lives. I appreciate and acknowledge the thought though 100%
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Ok I will answer this I think... I'm not sure how being offended equals a lack of self-awareness, but you don't seem to be upsetting tooooo many people, so (kind of) well done so far, sort-of.
Just please try to help make sure this thread doesn't feel too 'gasslighty', or too CBT - cock and bull torture to lots of people - possibly millions of us have been medicated a bit that in recent years - and remember the OP is never the only person at the helm on Fab of course.
People are clearly looking over this thread, which is good. There are a lot of vulnerable people on Fab and this is feeling a bit like one of those self-employed youtube 'self-empowerment' kind of vids. Not everyone thinks those things are top dollar.
pt"Thank you for your perspective. I will process it. I would hope with the title people know what they are walking into and of course they have the choice on whether or not they participate. If people have issues with what this thread entails then I would hope that they were responsible enough to decide to move on to the next post. There isn't a whole lot more I can do. I understand this isn't everyone's cup of tea, but there are posts here that aren't my cup of tea. I don't make a big deal out of it. | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
Working with people in a day to day capacity of what exactly???
Are you an insta life coach or something?
I thin the OP could be an American Jehovah's Witness or something?? pt
He is rhetoric is SO non Jehovah witness. Made me lol tho
.
Maybe the language, rhetoric - I'm not too sure tbh. The JW don't tend to hang around my gaff long when they call though I admit.
I got the American part right though I'm sure. No one in the UK can pull off 'Hell Yeah', that just doesn't happen here. pt"No I'm English. And thank you for suggesting I pulled it off. | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
Working with people in a day to day capacity of what exactly???
Are you an insta life coach or something?
I thin the OP could be an American Jehovah's Witness or something?? pt" | |||
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"People are clearly looking over this thread, which is good. There are a lot of vulnerable people on Fab and this is feeling a bit like one of those self-employed youtube 'self-empowerment' kind of vids. Not everyone thinks those things are top dollar. pt" I get your reasoning but I don't think OP is pressuring anyone to do anything they're uncomfortable with, nor making anyone feel bad for not participating. It's their choice entirely I hate those kind of vids and all that posey empowerment stuff tbh. Didn't get that impression with this thread. I've been through a lot over the years with bad therapy so I'd rather find solace in self-expression and pushing myself without someone else's analytical restrictions on me There are tons of threads on here which I know aren't for me but I don't take their existence personally or feel a need to criticise them in some way if they are supposed to be fun or fulfilling for the people who wish to partake in them | |||
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"I'll make the choice to trust you and say I've been through more than most... I have spent a great deal of time self reflecting and working on myself. Working with people on a day to day basis in this capacity id say I know my stuff, and in answer to the earlier concerns about any professional worth their salt. Id love to meet someone with a masters degree in life experience
Working with people in a day to day capacity of what exactly???
Are you an insta life coach or something?
I thin the OP could be an American Jehovah's Witness or something?? pt
He is rhetoric is SO non Jehovah witness. Made me lol tho
.
Maybe the language, rhetoric - I'm not too sure tbh. The JW don't tend to hang around my gaff long when they call though I admit.
I got the American part right though I'm sure. No one in the UK can pull off 'Hell Yeah', that just doesn't happen here. pt
No I'm English. And thank you for suggesting I pulled it off.
"You must have said it with the hat on lol pt | |||
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"I love who I am. But I feel there's a time, place, and space for the kind of vulnerability that kind of self reflection would bring. This space is not it. " I have loved you for years, Swing. | |||
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"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer." Clearly some people missed the point. Its fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement. | |||
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"I love who I am. But I feel there's a time, place, and space for the kind of vulnerability that kind of self reflection would bring. This space is not it. I have loved you for years, Swing. " | |||
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"I love who I am. But I feel there's a time, place, and space for the kind of vulnerability that kind of self reflection would bring. This space is not it. " | |||
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"I love who I am. But I feel there's a time, place, and space for the kind of vulnerability that kind of self reflection would bring. This space is not it. " That I can understand, I hope you find a space that does serve you safely in this capacity. Best wishes | |||
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"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer. Clearly some people missed the point. It’s fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement. "Many people find introspection very uncomfortable, I think this has been a great thread. And I reckon it’s reached a lot of people in a positive way (the ‘lurkers’ amongst us who read but don’t post) | |||
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"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer. Clearly some people missed the point. Its fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement. "Oh yeah this ain't on you. If you're newish here...welcome to some of the users | |||
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"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer. Clearly some people missed the point. It’s fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement. Many people find introspection very uncomfortable, I think this has been a great thread. And I reckon it’s reached a lot of people in a positive way (the ‘lurkers’ amongst us who read but don’t post) "appreciate that, thank you kindly best wishes! | |||
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"OP you’ve been great and other than the users who saw the negative in a positive thread. We appreciate that you tried to be there for people and let them open up!! " I am always here! Post or no post! Thank you very much | |||
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"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer. Clearly some people missed the point. Its fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement.
Oh yeah this ain't on you. If you're newish here...welcome to some of the users "Coming up on 10 years on and off, you'd think i would have learned by now right? | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer. Clearly some people missed the point. It’s fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement.
Many people find introspection very uncomfortable, I think this has been a great thread. And I reckon it’s reached a lot of people in a positive way (the ‘lurkers’ amongst us who read but don’t post)
"I'm not sure anyone missed the point as such.. this is a guy offering himself as a guidance guru. You either take that in good faith or you don't. So if some people out there find vocal introspection uncomfortable, should you assume they can't be introspective at all? And they simply need the prompt? Some readers (I don't like the term 'lurkers' really - these are free to view forums for Fab members and there is no reason at all you should post on here) will be interested in it for sure, but I think many emphatically won't too (as reflected above - and they are *not* misunderstanding anything at all, internally or externally, for taking that stance). I haven't seen anything life changing said here, but I have seen potential for harm though. But that is life I guess. A bit like the 'FAT Pride' thread the other day, some will like it, some won't. I do want to stress that their is this term call 'gaslighting' knocking around. And it's worth our time. Nothing personal to the two guys who have offered their services on this thread, but maybe some vulnerable or suggestible people might want to just think a little bit before they 'open up' to complete strangers who have simply told them it's 'the right thing to do' on a sex site. That's all. pt | |||
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"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer. Clearly some people missed the point. It’s fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement.
Many people find introspection very uncomfortable, I think this has been a great thread. And I reckon it’s reached a lot of people in a positive way (the ‘lurkers’ amongst us who read but don’t post)
I'm not sure anyone missed the point as such.. this is a guy offering himself as a guidance guru. You either take that in good faith or you don't.
So if some people out there find vocal introspection uncomfortable, should you assume they can't be introspective at all? And they simply need the prompt?
Some readers (I don't like the term 'lurkers' really - these are free to view forums for Fab members and there is no reason at all you should post on here) will be interested in it for sure, but I think many emphatically won't too (as reflected above - and they are *not* misunderstanding anything at all, internally or externally, for taking that stance).
I haven't seen anything life changing said here, but I have seen potential for harm though. But that is life I guess. A bit like the 'FAT Pride' thread the other day, some will like it, some won't.
I do want to stress that their is this term call 'gaslighting' knocking around. And it's worth our time. Nothing personal to the two guys who have offered their services on this thread, but maybe some vulnerable or suggestible people might want to just think a little bit before they 'open up' to complete strangers who have simply told them it's 'the right thing to do' on a sex site.
That's all.
pt "I fail to see how the OP is offering any kind of guidance guru role? If you read the post the thread is for people to offer what they love about themselves. Nothing more. Those who have contributed have done so freely. My post required no guidance, nor do I need protecting from my own words. The point has clearly been missed. | |||
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"It's taken me a long time to except and love myself, I am who I am as they say. I've learnt the signs of a bad day and how to counteract that Just had a weekend away, banned the kids and grandkids from comming. Sea swimming at 7am this morning was fabulous and set me up for the day. " That sounds great, recognising bad days isn't easy. I've heard some amazing physiological changes that take place when we go to extreme temperature changes ...really interesting stuff. I've never had the opportunity to do it myself but i should I'm! Im really happy for you | |||
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"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer. Clearly some people missed the point. It’s fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement.
Many people find introspection very uncomfortable, I think this has been a great thread. And I reckon it’s reached a lot of people in a positive way (the ‘lurkers’ amongst us who read but don’t post)
I'm not sure anyone missed the point as such.. this is a guy offering himself as a guidance guru. You either take that in good faith or you don't.
So if some people out there find vocal introspection uncomfortable, should you assume they can't be introspective at all? And they simply need the prompt?
Some readers (I don't like the term 'lurkers' really - these are free to view forums for Fab members and there is no reason at all you should post on here) will be interested in it for sure, but I think many emphatically won't too (as reflected above - and they are *not* misunderstanding anything at all, internally or externally, for taking that stance).
I haven't seen anything life changing said here, but I have seen potential for harm though. But that is life I guess. A bit like the 'FAT Pride' thread the other day, some will like it, some won't.
I do want to stress that their is this term call 'gaslighting' knocking around. And it's worth our time. Nothing personal to the two guys who have offered their services on this thread, but maybe some vulnerable or suggestible people might want to just think a little bit before they 'open up' to complete strangers who have simply told them it's 'the right thing to do' on a sex site.
That's all.
pt
I fail to see how the OP is offering any kind of guidance guru role? If you read the post the thread is for people to offer what they love about themselves. Nothing more. Those who have contributed have done so freely. My post required no guidance, nor do I need protecting from my own words. The point has clearly been missed. "thank you for seeing clearly | |||
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"It's taken me a long time to except and love myself, I am who I am as they say. I've learnt the signs of a bad day and how to counteract that Just had a weekend away, banned the kids and grandkids from comming. Sea swimming at 7am this morning was fabulous and set me up for the day. " Brr sounds chilly, I'd need to wee! BTW it's accept xx | |||
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"It's taken me a long time to except and love myself, I am who I am as they say. I've learnt the signs of a bad day and how to counteract that Just had a weekend away, banned the kids and grandkids from comming. Sea swimming at 7am this morning was fabulous and set me up for the day. Brr sounds chilly, I'd need to wee! BTW it's accept xx" Please accept my apologies for being thick | |||
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"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer. Clearly some people missed the point. Its fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement.
Oh yeah this ain't on you. If you're newish here...welcome to some of the users
Coming up on 10 years on and off, you'd think i would have learned by now right?
". So you've been on here on and off since you were 20? See I really struggle with that given how you did approach this thread (me being one of 'those users' I guess). And barely an hour before you made it you complained to a whole thread of posters they all overreacted about something! (which just wasn't quite true, but you seemed happy to say that anyway). I duuno. Then I read your self-appraising intro here. Egos and the vulnerable? I think the art of psychiatry (or just self help even) has to be a bit more nuanced (trained even) than this. But I do accept (which means hope, as I simply don't know you) that you probably do actually mean well here. And you seem to have taken everything I've said in good grace, at least by response (I have to say you have rather undermined that whenever someone has given your the opportunity to do so though.) I may as well stress one more thing, it's ok to have a quiet ego and be a bit self-depreciating or apologetic-even too. This isn't a misguided character trait, it can simply be your personality! Nobody has to share their shit in public or indeed to anyone who asks them to just because they're advised to for their mental health. Like Granny Crumpet I think said, that's just not how the actual professionals do it (despite the national splurge of fast-tracked CBT training in recently years). pt | |||
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"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer. Clearly some people missed the point. It’s fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement.
Many people find introspection very uncomfortable, I think this has been a great thread. And I reckon it’s reached a lot of people in a positive way (the ‘lurkers’ amongst us who read but don’t post)
I'm not sure anyone missed the point as such.. this is a guy offering himself as a guidance guru. You either take that in good faith or you don't.
So if some people out there find vocal introspection uncomfortable, should you assume they can't be introspective at all? And they simply need the prompt?
Some readers (I don't like the term 'lurkers' really - these are free to view forums for Fab members and there is no reason at all you should post on here) will be interested in it for sure, but I think many emphatically won't too (as reflected above - and they are *not* misunderstanding anything at all, internally or externally, for taking that stance).
I haven't seen anything life changing said here, but I have seen potential for harm though. But that is life I guess. A bit like the 'FAT Pride' thread the other day, some will like it, some won't.
I do want to stress that their is this term call 'gaslighting' knocking around. And it's worth our time. Nothing personal to the two guys who have offered their services on this thread, but maybe some vulnerable or suggestible people might want to just think a little bit before they 'open up' to complete strangers who have simply told them it's 'the right thing to do' on a sex site.
That's all.
pt
I fail to see how the OP is offering any kind of guidance guru role? If you read the post the thread is for people to offer what they love about themselves. Nothing more. Those who have contributed have done so freely. My post required no guidance, nor do I need protecting from my own words. The point has clearly been missed.
". I'm not too sure about the way it developed though. I think people needed to keep an eye on it tbh. Someone else joined in that there were too many offers to go to PM too. Normally on Fab I think that's often sweet but in this context it made me feel a bit uneasy. It sounds like your own post has nothing really to do with any point I have made. I'm certainly not white knighting anyone lol. As I'm sure I've already said, it's up to people what they say. But that includes me, and the OP's NOTE about no negativity here (when I new there would naturally be some) is one of the things that alerted me to its potential guru nature, which certainly transpired. The rest was via reading through the thread, because I left it for a while after I said my original piece. I've been on Fab a long time too (both of them but this one first), and I've seen a lot of things. pt | |||
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"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer. Clearly some people missed the point. Its fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement.
Oh yeah this ain't on you. If you're newish here...welcome to some of the users
Coming up on 10 years on and off, you'd think i would have learned by now right?
.
So you've been on here on and off since you were 20? See I really struggle with that given how you did approach this thread (me being one of 'those users' I guess).
And barely an hour before you made it you complained to a whole thread of posters they all overreacted about something! (which just wasn't quite true, but you seemed happy to say that anyway). I duuno. Then I read your self-appraising intro here. Egos and the vulnerable? I think the art of psychiatry (or just self help even) has to be a bit more nuanced (trained even) than this.
But I do accept (which means hope, as I simply don't know you) that you probably do actually mean well here. And you seem to have taken everything I've said in good grace, at least by response (I have to say you have rather undermined that whenever someone has given your the opportunity to do so though.)
I may as well stress one more thing, it's ok to have a quiet ego and be a bit self-depreciating or apologetic-even too. This isn't a misguided character trait, it can simply be your personality! Nobody has to share their shit in public or indeed to anyone who asks them to just because they're advised to for their mental health.
Like Granny Crumpet I think said, that's just not how the actual professionals do it (despite the national splurge of fast-tracked CBT training in recently years).
pt"Well for a start check my verifications.. think you'll find them as early as 8th November 2015. Im not a liar. Secondly I think you'll find psychiatry is the diagnosis and study of mental health disorders... I don't believe I've ever mentioned anything close to or in alignment of that so please, with respect, get your facts straight before you want to play the mediator role. I would like to point out I haven't asked anyone to share anything, its their choice. We should all be adults, ive just tried being positive which clearly not common here otherwise it wouldn't be such a big deal. . I won't be held responsible for other peoples choices. I can only assume you are a moderator or an admin, if thats the case, if I have done something wrong feel free to ban me, if I haven't let me be and kindly stop making this something it clearly isn't. lastly you have no idea who I am or what I do, therefore granny crumpets comment about professionalism is nothing to do with anything. I am simply a person having a chat in this moment. I don't need a degree, I don't need anything other than to be human. If people think I'm full of it they are welcome to block me. | |||
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"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer. Clearly some people missed the point. It’s fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement.
Many people find introspection very uncomfortable, I think this has been a great thread. And I reckon it’s reached a lot of people in a positive way (the ‘lurkers’ amongst us who read but don’t post)
I'm not sure anyone missed the point as such.. this is a guy offering himself as a guidance guru. You either take that in good faith or you don't.
So if some people out there find vocal introspection uncomfortable, should you assume they can't be introspective at all? And they simply need the prompt?
Some readers (I don't like the term 'lurkers' really - these are free to view forums for Fab members and there is no reason at all you should post on here) will be interested in it for sure, but I think many emphatically won't too (as reflected above - and they are *not* misunderstanding anything at all, internally or externally, for taking that stance).
I haven't seen anything life changing said here, but I have seen potential for harm though. But that is life I guess. A bit like the 'FAT Pride' thread the other day, some will like it, some won't.
I do want to stress that their is this term call 'gaslighting' knocking around. And it's worth our time. Nothing personal to the two guys who have offered their services on this thread, but maybe some vulnerable or suggestible people might want to just think a little bit before they 'open up' to complete strangers who have simply told them it's 'the right thing to do' on a sex site.
That's all.
pt
I fail to see how the OP is offering any kind of guidance guru role? If you read the post the thread is for people to offer what they love about themselves. Nothing more. Those who have contributed have done so freely. My post required no guidance, nor do I need protecting from my own words. The point has clearly been missed.
.
I'm not too sure about the way it developed though. I think people needed to keep an eye on it tbh. Someone else joined in that there were too many offers to go to PM too. Normally on Fab I think that's often sweet but in this context it made me feel a bit uneasy.
It sounds like your own post has nothing really to do with any point I have made. I'm certainly not white knighting anyone lol. As I'm sure I've already said, it's up to people what they say. But that includes me, and the OP's NOTE about no negativity here (when I new there would naturally be some) is one of the things that alerted me to its potential guru nature, which certainly transpired. The rest was via reading through the thread, because I left it for a while after I said my original piece.
I've been on Fab a long time too (both of them but this one first), and I've seen a lot of things.
pt"There is one random bloke offering a small which was declined. It wasn’t the op. I honestly think you’re seeing something that’s not there. There’s nothing wrong with the intent or wording of the thread. We are all green ups and can choose to share what we feel is appropriate. Even those who haven’t offered self love have promoted discussion. It makes a nice change from the mindless threads we read day in day out. | |||
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Funny how some people interpret things and turn a thread totally on its head!! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Let me tell you guys This thread is a real Debbie downer. Clearly some people missed the point. It’s fine mods/admins can close it. Im sure people would much rather compare themselves to each other anyway. because that makes everyone feel so positive. Lying to feel like you can have an opinion, or posting so you can get some external verification watching people compare themselves to fit in... and people wonder why they aren't happy...If anyone wants an honest talk you know where I am. No expectations, no obligations no pressure, no judgement.
Many people find introspection very uncomfortable, I think this has been a great thread. And I reckon it’s reached a lot of people in a positive way (the ‘lurkers’ amongst us who read but don’t post)
I'm not sure anyone missed the point as such.. this is a guy offering himself as a guidance guru. You either take that in good faith or you don't.
So if some people out there find vocal introspection uncomfortable, should you assume they can't be introspective at all? And they simply need the prompt?
Some readers (I don't like the term 'lurkers' really - these are free to view forums for Fab members and there is no reason at all you should post on here) will be interested in it for sure, but I think many emphatically won't too (as reflected above - and they are *not* misunderstanding anything at all, internally or externally, for taking that stance).
I haven't seen anything life changing said here, but I have seen potential for harm though. But that is life I guess. A bit like the 'FAT Pride' thread the other day, some will like it, some won't.
I do want to stress that their is this term call 'gaslighting' knocking around. And it's worth our time. Nothing personal to the two guys who have offered their services on this thread, but maybe some vulnerable or suggestible people might want to just think a little bit before they 'open up' to complete strangers who have simply told them it's 'the right thing to do' on a sex site.
That's all.
pt
I fail to see how the OP is offering any kind of guidance guru role? If you read the post the thread is for people to offer what they love about themselves. Nothing more. Those who have contributed have done so freely. My post required no guidance, nor do I need protecting from my own words. The point has clearly been missed.
.
I'm not too sure about the way it developed though. I think people needed to keep an eye on it tbh. Someone else joined in that there were too many offers to go to PM too. Normally on Fab I think that's often sweet but in this context it made me feel a bit uneasy.
It sounds like your own post has nothing really to do with any point I have made. I'm certainly not white knighting anyone lol. As I'm sure I've already said, it's up to people what they say. But that includes me, and the OP's NOTE about no negativity here (when I new there would naturally be some) is one of the things that alerted me to its potential guru nature, which certainly transpired. The rest was via reading through the thread, because I left it for a while after I said my original piece.
I've been on Fab a long time too (both of them but this one first), and I've seen a lot of things.
pt
There is one random bloke offering a small which was declined. It wasn’t the op. I honestly think you’re seeing something that’s not there. There’s nothing wrong with the intent or wording of the thread. We are all green ups and can choose to share what we feel is appropriate. Even those who haven’t offered self love have promoted discussion. It makes a nice change from the mindless threads we read day in day out.
"I think you just need to read the thread again perhaps (a chore at 170 odd I know). I had to go through it all to catch up. Sure this thread isn't a great crime (as the OP keeps suggesting - he's not going to be banned!) but it did do the things I've outlined (and things Granny C did at the time). Also, I'll say this here instead of replying again to the simultaneous OP's post - the OP did suggest at some point that he helped people for a living, but wouldn't say how. Maybe this is a subtler thing for some people than for others, but things were said here and there than alerted a few people that's all. So we all said our piece. pt | |||
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"I love the person I rebuilt from a place of real darkness. I love that I’m now grateful to wake up every day. I love that I actively try and make the world a better place. I love that I know who I am and make no apologies for it. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok. " Love this. | |||
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"Well this escalated quickly
Funny how some people interpret things and turn a thread totally on its head!!
"It's not really escalated, this has literally been argued all thread. So nothing has turned quickly and the OP has actually been pretty civil in fairness to him. As have I, I hope. pt | |||
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"I saw a sweet thing (a meme?) that was people saying they had fallen in love with tv show characters just like themselves, and then the realisation they had been (tricked) into falling in love with themselves all along. " you big hippie lol  | |||
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"I saw a sweet thing (a meme?) that was people saying they had fallen in love with tv show characters just like themselves, and then the realisation they had been (tricked) into falling in love with themselves all along. " thats amazing! well about to run out of posts, its been a roller coaster. Apologies to anyone who felt I was attacking them (honestly wasn't my intention,)thank you for sharing if you did it was lovely to hear some of the things you had to say. Take care and sending positive intentions your way. | |||
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