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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago
Lives in Preston, Eng |
Do you think you have good judgement when it comes to choosing people to spend time with or effort on? From fab or real life.
Willing to share any examples of why you think this way? |
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In real life I think I've got it down to an art form. I've had a few years practice
On fab.. bit difficult to even get consistent replies, let alone gauge the persons intent! Maybe it's a me problem |
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"Do you think you have good judgement when it comes to choosing people to spend time with or effort on? From fab or real life.
Willing to share any examples of why you think this way?"
Not innately. I’m a terrible judge of character. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm quite happy with the people I talk to and have met on Fab - you'd have to ask them if their judgement is poor though following their connection with me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab, No.
All my ways of working people out are way off when you have to gauge things through a profile, text and phonecalls.
I get in with someone great on paper but in practice very differently. But that's down to how much is lost in communication and how much people will only show you what they want you to see in order to make a good impression and get where they want to be.
I e had far too many instances of people who say and do the opposite.
Like for example they'll say 'I'm not the jealous possessive type', but the minute you see someone new the green eyed monster comes out.
Real life... I'm much better at it. |
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It's not always about rational judgement in some cases, other factors (including hormones) get involved and things can just happen imo.
I think a lot of us tend to use our 'judgement' more pro-actively early on to try and prevent things happening that could ultimately go badly wrong! When it's happening it's more about the experience and the outcome is more Que Sera, Sera.
pt |
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Yes. In my many years on here I've never had a bad meet, never been stood up or let down, never been ghosted, and never had anyone causing a fuss when I've met other people.
We all come across wrong 'uns from time to time in real life (sometimes you can't avoid them, at work for instance), but I usually suss them out pretty quickly and shut them off as much as possible (not so easy at work, but you can maintain a civil, work only relationship). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wonder if people who have had major trauma in a relationship are generally saying their judgement is off now?
I have and my judgement hasn't been great although my friend radar is fabulous  |
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In general I trust my initial judgement and while it's not infallible I've rarely been wrong or not wrong enough to change my opinion.
On fab it's fairly similar. I've been here almost 8 years and never had a no show.
I have however been dragged into other peoples drama on a couple of occasions and my refusal to allow that to happen again has in itself caused them to show their true colours.
Some people are players and very good at maintaining a solid persona for as long as it takes to get through a social but covid lockdowns were an amazing tool for testing their mettle and some failed miserably.
I'll continue to trust my judgement even when others tell me I'm wrong because we often only see what we want to see and on fab a few nice pics is often enough of a distraction for some. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In real life yes
Online yes and no
Yes if it’s over time say weeks months years if say they a forum member or part off a public community off sorts over time they will reveal them selfs
Short and private not really as people can paint them selfs in any light they like in terms off niceness |
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By *mber81 OP Woman
over a year ago
Lives in Preston, Eng |
It is interesting that quite a few people think they are good in person not on fab. It has got me wondering about that. I think I am ok at it in person too but only about if they are a good person not if they are actually good for me.
Thanks for all the responses fellow forumites. Food for thought.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Until really recently I would have said yes. I've not had any issues in 12 years of being on the site. Recently I think my radar is broken. I'm wondering if it could be menopause related. That would make sense. *shrugs* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Intriguing responses.
Makes me wonder how someone can be good at judgement in person but not online. Are you using different “rubrics” to suss out the good for you person versus the not based upon being face to face or behind a device? That boggles my mind. |
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"Intriguing responses.
Makes me wonder how someone can be good at judgement in person but not online. Are you using different “rubrics” to suss out the good for you person versus the not based upon being face to face or behind a device? That boggles my mind. "
As I said above there's no difference in my approach but there is much more smoke and mirrors on a site such as this.
They have hot pics so they must be good people type of thing.
That's often as deep as some people will go when there's a chance of getting their leg over. |
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