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Solo female whinge

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland

So my partner and I recently opened up our relationship, around 4 months ago.

A million times a day I hear about how difficult it is for single men to get a conversation going but jeeeeeez!!!! It's easy to get 100 hi bbe wwu2's a day but a decent conversationalist?!

And to top that off if you finally do get some decent conversation they get bored and disappear after a while because they don't want to wait.

It's bloody exhausting!!

That's all...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Have you tried blocking single men from messaging you and search for the ones you like, OP?

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By *ucka39Man  over a year ago

Newcastle

Me never get bored

Never take anything as serious

time is of the essence

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Have you tried blocking single men from messaging you and search for the ones you like, OP? "

Highly recommend this.

Well, it works if you aren't as lazy as me.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman  over a year ago

Carlisle usually

It's amazing how many people think we should be grateful for the endless sea of unwanted noodles screaming hey how are ya every day.

There's a few worthwhile ones out there though OP. Up your filters or accept the grind are the main ways forward I think

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"Have you tried blocking single men from messaging you and search for the ones you like, OP? "

I haven't tried blocking but I did search a bit and engage with some that I liked, those ones got bored of waiting lol.

Good idea though...

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"Have you tried blocking single men from messaging you and search for the ones you like, OP?

Highly recommend this.

Well, it works if you aren't as lazy as me. "

I am a bit lazy like

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Have you tried blocking single men from messaging you and search for the ones you like, OP?

I haven't tried blocking but I did search a bit and engage with some that I liked, those ones got bored of waiting lol.

Good idea though..."

Always a good shout if you don't like being inundated and like to keep track of your conversations. Hope you manage to find someone you like!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Do you think women that message first are conversationalists? Or women in general on here are conversationalists? It sure doesn’t feel like That.

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"It's amazing how many people think we should be grateful for the endless sea of unwanted noodles screaming hey how are ya every day.

There's a few worthwhile ones out there though OP. Up your filters or accept the grind are the main ways forward I think "

I know right! Then the endless sea from one person repeating, not interested then? One more try, just one more attempt, nor answering then?

Uuuugh!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Have you tried blocking single men from messaging you and search for the ones you like, OP?

Highly recommend this.

Well, it works if you aren't as lazy as me.

I am a bit lazy like "

Me too but it still kinda works.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Would I rather get 100s of opportunities and pick the ones I want, rarely facing rejection

Or would I prefer to face rejection 100s of times for even a sniff of success

Can someone do the violin emoji for OP? She’s had it super, super hard

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do you think women that message first are conversationalists? Or women in general on here are conversationalists? It sure doesn’t feel like That. "

I say that because I think the quality of messages on this site are poor for everyone. The annoyance generally is surely the amount of the messages?

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"Do you think women that message first are conversationalists? Or women in general on here are conversationalists? It sure doesn’t feel like That. "

No not necessarily, well I don't know because I don't get women message me so I can't really judge. I'm super chatty though

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman  over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"Would I rather get 100s of opportunities and pick the ones I want, rarely facing rejection

Or would I prefer to face rejection 100s of times for even a sniff of success

Can someone do the violin emoji for OP? She’s had it super, super hard "

Jealousy is such an attractive emotion

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I don't think a lot of people are good at the messaging thing, which makes sites like these difficult.

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"Would I rather get 100s of opportunities and pick the ones I want, rarely facing rejection

Or would I prefer to face rejection 100s of times for even a sniff of success

Can someone do the violin emoji for OP? She’s had it super, super hard "

Who wants the violin.....?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I just got called sensitive and a load of other crap about me being on a swingers site because I pulled someone up on being a bit disrespectful lmao. This place kills me.

Good luck in your search, there are some decent men around tbry are just not always to find amongst the shit.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do you think women that message first are conversationalists? Or women in general on here are conversationalists? It sure doesn’t feel like That.

No not necessarily, well I don't know because I don't get women message me so I can't really judge. I'm super chatty though "

Chatty is good. It’s refreshing

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"So my partner and I recently opened up our relationship, around 4 months ago.

A million times a day I hear about how difficult it is for single men to get a conversation going but jeeeeeez!!!! It's easy to get 100 hi bbe wwu2's a day but a decent conversationalist?!

And to top that off if you finally do get some decent conversation they get bored and disappear after a while because they don't want to wait.

It's bloody exhausting!!

That's all..."

Wah! Wah!

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"I just got called sensitive and a load of other crap about me being on a swingers site because I pulled someone up on being a bit disrespectful lmao. This place kills me.

Good luck in your search, there are some decent men around tbry are just not always to find amongst the shit. "

Oh god yeah the insults are the best aren't they!

Thank you, good luck to you too

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By *unchalMan  over a year ago

Dartford


"So my partner and I recently opened up our relationship, around 4 months ago.

A million times a day I hear about how difficult it is for single men to get a conversation going but jeeeeeez!!!! It's easy to get 100 hi bbe wwu2's a day but a decent conversationalist?!

And to top that off if you finally do get some decent conversation they get bored and disappear after a while because they don't want to wait.

It's bloody exhausting!!

That's all..."

What does that look like? I've had women contact me claiming to want conversation but all I get is monsylabic responses. Just like the men. For those (women-they usually notice on here) I like to write!

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"So my partner and I recently opened up our relationship, around 4 months ago.

A million times a day I hear about how difficult it is for single men to get a conversation going but jeeeeeez!!!! It's easy to get 100 hi bbe wwu2's a day but a decent conversationalist?!

And to top that off if you finally do get some decent conversation they get bored and disappear after a while because they don't want to wait.

It's bloody exhausting!!

That's all...

Wah! Wah! "

Haha thank you, your sympathy is appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This is what men dont often see. While women dont have to generally compete for attention on dating sites or places like here they do have to contend with an endless parade of samey messages and lack of imaginative conversations from what I understand.

It must be incredibly overwhelming at times. Female friends have told me even when they find guys attractive physically often theres nothing to discern between them since most conversations begin and end with a hi, how are you?

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"So my partner and I recently opened up our relationship, around 4 months ago.

A million times a day I hear about how difficult it is for single men to get a conversation going but jeeeeeez!!!! It's easy to get 100 hi bbe wwu2's a day but a decent conversationalist?!

And to top that off if you finally do get some decent conversation they get bored and disappear after a while because they don't want to wait.

It's bloody exhausting!!

That's all...

What does that look like? I've had women contact me claiming to want conversation but all I get is monsylabic responses. Just like the men. For those (women-they usually notice on here) I like to write!"

I get a lot of that too and also a copy and paste a week later, then again a week later. Is there a mass send option?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I hear you woman, I hear you.

You need to be ahead of them.

Flush the inbox through and get all the desperados on the block list by doing cringe status, post a pic etc. Then search out what's left.

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"This is what men dont often see. While women dont have to generally compete for attention on dating sites or places like here they do have to contend with an endless parade of samey messages and lack of imaginative conversations from what I understand.

It must be incredibly overwhelming at times. Female friends have told me even when they find guys attractive physically often theres nothing to discern between them since most conversations begin and end with a hi, how are you?"

Yeah exactly this, I know I look like a whinge but it really is hard work and so frustrating!

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"So my partner and I recently opened up our relationship, around 4 months ago.

A million times a day I hear about how difficult it is for single men to get a conversation going but jeeeeeez!!!! It's easy to get 100 hi bbe wwu2's a day but a decent conversationalist?!

And to top that off if you finally do get some decent conversation they get bored and disappear after a while because they don't want to wait.

It's bloody exhausting!!

That's all...

Wah! Wah!

Haha thank you, your sympathy is appreciated "

Does that count as conversation?

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By *avexxMan  over a year ago

cheshire

insults why oh why do they do this dont get it,,

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"I hear you woman, I hear you.

You need to be ahead of them.

Flush the inbox through and get all the desperados on the block list by doing cringe status, post a pic etc. Then search out what's left."

Ooooh that's a clever idea! I never thought of that, thanks x

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By *hrimper36Couple  over a year ago

Central France dept 36


"So my partner and I recently opened up our relationship, around 4 months ago.

A million times a day I hear about how difficult it is for single men to get a conversation going but jeeeeeez!!!! It's easy to get 100 hi bbe wwu2's a day but a decent conversationalist?!

And to top that off if you finally do get some decent conversation they get bored and disappear after a while because they don't want to wait.

It's bloody exhausting!!

That's all..."

Totally agree op.

It amazes me how any men on here get their cocks wet.

T

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"So my partner and I recently opened up our relationship, around 4 months ago.

A million times a day I hear about how difficult it is for single men to get a conversation going but jeeeeeez!!!! It's easy to get 100 hi bbe wwu2's a day but a decent conversationalist?!

And to top that off if you finally do get some decent conversation they get bored and disappear after a while because they don't want to wait.

It's bloody exhausting!!

That's all...

Wah! Wah!

Haha thank you, your sympathy is appreciated

Does that count as conversation? "

Wah wah? Of course it does, on here

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Have you tried blocking single men from messaging you and search for the ones you like, OP? "

THIS

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

All I can suggest is layer up those filters.

You can block people outside your age preferences.

Block those you say no thanks to, you get no comebacks.

Block those you don’t reply to altogether.

Leave winks and friend requests unanswered, they can’t resend them again.

That leaves you just needing to message me.

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"insults why oh why do they do this dont get it,,"

Yeah it's absolutely bizarre isn't it, I had it from a couple just last week. They threw a strop because I said I'd prefer to meet couples with my partner. They said, well you should have a couples profile like we do then.

Mhmmmm when you read my profile you'll see that I do.....

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"All I can suggest is layer up those filters.

You can block people outside your age preferences.

Block those you say no thanks to, you get no comebacks.

Block those you don’t reply to altogether.

Leave winks and friend requests unanswered, they can’t resend them again.

That leaves you just needing to message me. "

Yeah I guess I need to be a bit more ruthless instead of trying to be nice to everyone, I'll get right on those filters!

Wait, what? I can message you? I can message people first?

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I just got called sensitive and a load of other crap about me being on a swingers site because I pulled someone up on being a bit disrespectful lmao. This place kills me.

Good luck in your search, there are some decent men around tbry are just not always to find amongst the shit. "

Imagine wanting to be treated like a person. The outrage

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town

Do you feel better getting off your chest there op? Sometimes talking about stuff is good.

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By *inky ChefMan  over a year ago

Norwich

[Removed by poster at 13/10/23 22:28:47]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

For me it doesn’t really matter what you message as I feel I’m quite articulate and polite in all my opening messages and when a code word is needed it’s placed in the subject bar…..but do I get a response…..9/10 it’s a NO!!

This site is all about that initial attraction and whether or not you wanna see them naked….well written messages are redundant when you’re not that persons type!!

Just my opinion!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is what men dont often see. While women dont have to generally compete for attention on dating sites or places like here they do have to contend with an endless parade of samey messages and lack of imaginative conversations from what I understand.

It must be incredibly overwhelming at times. Female friends have told me even when they find guys attractive physically often theres nothing to discern between them since most conversations begin and end with a hi, how are you?

Yeah exactly this, I know I look like a whinge but it really is hard work and so frustrating!"

You really don't. Ive seen other side to this and while I dont deny its hard for men here often for other reasons its no picnic as a woman. The irony for me is I find it considerably easier to meet people on fab than match on dating apps. My rationale is I think its so easy to get lost in that mass of likes.

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By *ife NinjaMan  over a year ago

Dunfermline

Us older gents are the best

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So my partner and I recently opened up our relationship, around 4 months ago.

A million times a day I hear about how difficult it is for single men to get a conversation going but jeeeeeez!!!! It's easy to get 100 hi bbe wwu2's a day but a decent conversationalist?!

And to top that off if you finally do get some decent conversation they get bored and disappear after a while because they don't want to wait.

It's bloody exhausting!!

That's all..."

I personally think you (woman who receive loads of messages) are in a really difficult position.

I don't envy you. If you are truly looking for someone then you might wish to leave your DMs open because you can't possibly go through ever profile and you never know who might view your profile.

Plus if you do talk to people they may be better conversationalist than their profile gives them credit for our their opening DM. They may just need time to "warm up" and have responses to work with. But, I agree, if you get 100s of messages saying hi, how are you? Then how can you possibly open a dialogue with everyone of them on the off chance they are a good chatter/person but have only sent a crappy opening message.

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Covent Garden

Aside from casual interactions between friends and forumites on here, I've only sent a handful of introductory messages in the last 2½ years. All of my interactions and meets have been on the back of women sending me the first message.

However, speaking from experience a significant proportion of women (but not all) tend to be quite uninspiring and prosaic when it comes to qualitative chat - quite surprising when it's the woman who has instigated the conversation or made first contact!

The situation isn't helped when their profiles dictate to 'chatting extensively and articulately' before meeting. They've clearly fallen foul of their own caveats!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Aside from casual interactions between friends and forumites on here, I've only sent a handful of introductory messages in the last 2½ years. All of my interactions and meets have been on the back of women sending me the first message.

However, speaking from experience a significant proportion of women (but not all) tend to be quite uninspiring and prosaic when it comes to qualitative chat - quite surprising when it's the woman who has instigated the conversation or made first contact!

The situation isn't helped when their profiles dictate to 'chatting extensively and articulately' before meeting. They've clearly fallen foul of their own caveats!"

Some of us just can't string a sentence together, Nerø

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By *nFairnessMan  over a year ago

The Four Corners

I think a lot of people especially those who have been here a while have given up on blind messaging. I consider myself a stout conversationalist and its only once in a blue moon I shoot a message to anyone.

I have no interest in convincing anyone of giving me their time. And I think that's essentially what messaging has turned into as a single male. Having had a couples account here, and in seeing the influx of messages from people who clearly want one thing, I don't envy you as a single female either. Clubs is where I have had the most fun, and best interactions with new people.

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By *partharmonyCouple  over a year ago

Ruislip

We totally agree with you. The vast majority of messages we receive are utter shite. If their priority in messages was to show they potentially can hold a conversation and talk about something other than sex, they would do so much better.

I remember years ago a particular guy who seemed friendly enough asked us a few questions about our experiences here and then asked if we wanted to meet, as if talking about our sex life to a total stranger is not an enticement to meet them.

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Covent Garden


"Aside from casual interactions between friends and forumites on here, I've only sent a handful of introductory messages in the last 2½ years. All of my interactions and meets have been on the back of women sending me the first message.

However, speaking from experience a significant proportion of women (but not all) tend to be quite uninspiring and prosaic when it comes to qualitative chat - quite surprising when it's the woman who has instigated the conversation or made first contact!

The situation isn't helped when their profiles dictate to 'chatting extensively and articulately' before meeting. They've clearly fallen foul of their own caveats!

·

Some of us just can't string a sentence together, Nerø "

That's ok KC², as long as you can handle a cock better than you can handle a conversation it's all good!

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By *.L.0460.Woman  over a year ago

Bognor Regis


"This is what men dont often see. While women dont have to generally compete for attention on dating sites or places like here they do have to contend with an endless parade of samey messages and lack of imaginative conversations from what I understand.

It must be incredibly overwhelming at times. Female friends have told me even when they find guys attractive physically often theres nothing to discern between them since most conversations begin and end with a hi, how are you?"

Sadly true. If I haven't arranged a meet within the first dozen or so messages, he almost always loses interest- quicker when I try to arrange a social meet first

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do you think women that message first are conversationalists? Or women in general on here are conversationalists? It sure doesn’t feel like That.

I say that because I think the quality of messages on this site are poor for everyone. The annoyance generally is surely the amount of the messages? "

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"Do you feel better getting off your chest there op? Sometimes talking about stuff is good. "

Yes thank you, it's nice to hear/read the views of others. Whether they're in agreement or not

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"So my partner and I recently opened up our relationship, around 4 months ago.

A million times a day I hear about how difficult it is for single men to get a conversation going but jeeeeeez!!!! It's easy to get 100 hi bbe wwu2's a day but a decent conversationalist?!

And to top that off if you finally do get some decent conversation they get bored and disappear after a while because they don't want to wait.

It's bloody exhausting!!

That's all...

I personally think you (woman who receive loads of messages) are in a really difficult position.

I don't envy you. If you are truly looking for someone then you might wish to leave your DMs open because you can't possibly go through ever profile and you never know who might view your profile.

Plus if you do talk to people they may be better conversationalist than their profile gives them credit for our their opening DM. They may just need time to "warm up" and have responses to work with. But, I agree, if you get 100s of messages saying hi, how are you? Then how can you possibly open a dialogue with everyone of them on the off chance they are a good chatter/person but have only sent a crappy opening message."

Yeah absolutely, my partner said to me one day - I wish everyone was like you - explaining that I'll give people the time of day in any situation.

I'm not going to lie and say that I respond to every single message but I do with as many as I can.

I wish I had a better radar, wouldn't it save so much time!

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

Men essentially want a shag. Now. So if you’re not open to having a shag now what they’ll do is fuck you off and then get in touch every six months to “touch base” so it seems like they’re keeping in touch and you’ll eventually shag them.

They’re crafty!

Disclaimer: The above refers to SOME not all men and is written firmly tongue in cheek. No pm’s telling me I’m a bitter old trout. Thanks.

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"This is what men dont often see. While women dont have to generally compete for attention on dating sites or places like here they do have to contend with an endless parade of samey messages and lack of imaginative conversations from what I understand.

It must be incredibly overwhelming at times. Female friends have told me even when they find guys attractive physically often theres nothing to discern between them since most conversations begin and end with a hi, how are you?

Sadly true. If I haven't arranged a meet within the first dozen or so messages, he almost always loses interest- quicker when I try to arrange a social meet first "

This is another thing, what's wrong with a good old fashioned date!

I had someone give me so much abuse on a dating site last night because we'd exchanged about 4 messages and when invited over I said I can't he spat his dummy. Why are you on here then you freak!

He called me a freak about 4 times, so maybe I am a freak

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"Men essentially want a shag. Now. So if you’re not open to having a shag now what they’ll do is fuck you off and then get in touch every six months to “touch base” so it seems like they’re keeping in touch and you’ll eventually shag them.

They’re crafty!

Disclaimer: The above refers to SOME not all men and is written firmly tongue in cheek. No pm’s telling me I’m a bitter old trout. Thanks."

Hahhaah love this!

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By *.L.0460.Woman  over a year ago

Bognor Regis


"This is what men dont often see. While women dont have to generally compete for attention on dating sites or places like here they do have to contend with an endless parade of samey messages and lack of imaginative conversations from what I understand.

It must be incredibly overwhelming at times. Female friends have told me even when they find guys attractive physically often theres nothing to discern between them since most conversations begin and end with a hi, how are you?

Sadly true. If I haven't arranged a meet within the first dozen or so messages, he almost always loses interest- quicker when I try to arrange a social meet first

This is another thing, what's wrong with a good old fashioned date!

I had someone give me so much abuse on a dating site last night because we'd exchanged about 4 messages and when invited over I said I can't he spat his dummy. Why are you on here then you freak!

He called me a freak about 4 times, so maybe I am a freak "

I don't even require the amount of effort needed for a date. A Costa coffee one lunchtime, or a short meet at a pub convenient to him for a quick drink after work is all I ever suggest. You'd think I was asking for the world

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Waiting for what op.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is what men dont often see. While women dont have to generally compete for attention on dating sites or places like here they do have to contend with an endless parade of samey messages and lack of imaginative conversations from what I understand.

It must be incredibly overwhelming at times. Female friends have told me even when they find guys attractive physically often theres nothing to discern between them since most conversations begin and end with a hi, how are you?

Sadly true. If I haven't arranged a meet within the first dozen or so messages, he almost always loses interest- quicker when I try to arrange a social meet first

This is another thing, what's wrong with a good old fashioned date!

I had someone give me so much abuse on a dating site last night because we'd exchanged about 4 messages and when invited over I said I can't he spat his dummy. Why are you on here then you freak!

He called me a freak about 4 times, so maybe I am a freak "

He sounds like a keeper!

I have no idea why I assume ALL men are dodgy until proved otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Men essentially want a shag. Now. So if you’re not open to having a shag now what they’ll do is fuck you off and then get in touch every six months to “touch base” so it seems like they’re keeping in touch and you’ll eventually shag them.

They’re crafty!

Disclaimer: The above refers to SOME not all men and is written firmly tongue in cheek. No pm’s telling me I’m a bitter old trout. Thanks."

I'll say it. MOST MEN!

I just dumped a supposed friend for being like this.

Just told him not contact me again. No explanation at all as I don’t owe him anything.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So my partner and I recently opened up our relationship, around 4 months ago.

A million times a day I hear about how difficult it is for single men to get a conversation going but jeeeeeez!!!! It's easy to get 100 hi bbe wwu2's a day but a decent conversationalist?!

And to top that off if you finally do get some decent conversation they get bored and disappear after a while because they don't want to wait.

It's bloody exhausting!!

That's all..."

Women are just the same.

Fear of rejection, we that is, men and women are entitled to not be attracted to everybody.

Just because I had socials first I do not jump because it takes more sometimes to build a connection but the guys shy away because I am not legs open.

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"This is what men dont often see. While women dont have to generally compete for attention on dating sites or places like here they do have to contend with an endless parade of samey messages and lack of imaginative conversations from what I understand.

It must be incredibly overwhelming at times. Female friends have told me even when they find guys attractive physically often theres nothing to discern between them since most conversations begin and end with a hi, how are you?

Sadly true. If I haven't arranged a meet within the first dozen or so messages, he almost always loses interest- quicker when I try to arrange a social meet first

This is another thing, what's wrong with a good old fashioned date!

I had someone give me so much abuse on a dating site last night because we'd exchanged about 4 messages and when invited over I said I can't he spat his dummy. Why are you on here then you freak!

He called me a freak about 4 times, so maybe I am a freak

I don't even require the amount of effort needed for a date. A Costa coffee one lunchtime, or a short meet at a pub convenient to him for a quick drink after work is all I ever suggest. You'd think I was asking for the world "

I know, who can refuse a Costa anyway?!

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"Waiting for what op. "

For when I am able to meet...

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By *ools and the brainCouple  over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Although we are a couple I (Mr) very very occasionally message a female woman type person.

Maybe it's to comment on something from the forum or a status update I think maybe once in ten years I've sent a message to a lady with the purpose of wanting to fuck ( friends excluded)

See what I find difficult is the gray area of, how many messages are too many or not enough,at what point in the conversation do you message meeting or discuss sexy time?

Also I think a lot of guys engage in small talk because they are unsure how personal they should be in terms of questions.

As a couple we get many messages as does Mrs on her account.

Obviously the "hi how are you finding fab" questions are infuriating as what do you say.

But the copy and paste ones are the worst.

I'm rambling

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is what men dont often see. While women dont have to generally compete for attention on dating sites or places like here they do have to contend with an endless parade of samey messages and lack of imaginative conversations from what I understand.

It must be incredibly overwhelming at times. Female friends have told me even when they find guys attractive physically often theres nothing to discern between them since most conversations begin and end with a hi, how are you?

Sadly true. If I haven't arranged a meet within the first dozen or so messages, he almost always loses interest- quicker when I try to arrange a social meet first

This is another thing, what's wrong with a good old fashioned date!

I had someone give me so much abuse on a dating site last night because we'd exchanged about 4 messages and when invited over I said I can't he spat his dummy. Why are you on here then you freak!

He called me a freak about 4 times, so maybe I am a freak "

I suspect fab is home to its fair share of incels. It may sound glib of me but if someone shows their true colours and goes from zero to complete prick in a matter of a few messages youve had a very lucky escape...

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By *ife NinjaMan  over a year ago

Dunfermline


"Men essentially want a shag. Now. So if you’re not open to having a shag now what they’ll do is fuck you off and then get in touch every six months to “touch base” so it seems like they’re keeping in touch and you’ll eventually shag them.

They’re crafty!

Disclaimer: The above refers to SOME not all men and is written firmly tongue in cheek. No pm’s telling me I’m a bitter old trout. Thanks."

You're the kind of trout I'd tickle

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By *tanley FunseekerMan  over a year ago

stanley

People are unpredictable and sometimes downright odd. Find the ones who’s level of odd you can put up with

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"This is what men dont often see. While women dont have to generally compete for attention on dating sites or places like here they do have to contend with an endless parade of samey messages and lack of imaginative conversations from what I understand.

It must be incredibly overwhelming at times. Female friends have told me even when they find guys attractive physically often theres nothing to discern between them since most conversations begin and end with a hi, how are you?

Sadly true. If I haven't arranged a meet within the first dozen or so messages, he almost always loses interest- quicker when I try to arrange a social meet first

This is another thing, what's wrong with a good old fashioned date!

I had someone give me so much abuse on a dating site last night because we'd exchanged about 4 messages and when invited over I said I can't he spat his dummy. Why are you on here then you freak!

He called me a freak about 4 times, so maybe I am a freak

I suspect fab is home to its fair share of incels. It may sound glib of me but if someone shows their true colours and goes from zero to complete prick in a matter of a few messages youve had a very lucky escape..."

Some assumption there

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"Although we are a couple I (Mr) very very occasionally message a female woman type person.

Maybe it's to comment on something from the forum or a status update I think maybe once in ten years I've sent a message to a lady with the purpose of wanting to fuck ( friends excluded)

See what I find difficult is the gray area of, how many messages are too many or not enough,at what point in the conversation do you message meeting or discuss sexy time?

Also I think a lot of guys engage in small talk because they are unsure how personal they should be in terms of questions.

As a couple we get many messages as does Mrs on her account.

Obviously the "hi how are you finding fab" questions are infuriating as what do you say.

But the copy and paste ones are the worst.

I'm rambling "

Or are you conversationalisting..?

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By *ruceyyMan  over a year ago

London

Oh just message me I have the best chat here anyway x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Waiting for what op.

For when I am able to meet..."

Which is.. Straight away?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Maybe some should watch the movie on channel5 what women want

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A lot if fellas don't want the chat the flirt th3 build up etc they seem to want there dick wet and eat there cake and be done with all on the same day. Spoils it really for genuine ppl who enjoy a bit chat flirt to start with got to put a bit of effort and groundwork in

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do you think women that message first are conversationalists? Or women in general on here are conversationalists? It sure doesn’t feel like That. "

I think they may have a few on the go and lose track. From the other side it looks like you’re being ghosted, but I never take these things personally.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do you think women that message first are conversationalists? Or women in general on here are conversationalists? It sure doesn’t feel like That.

I think they may have a few on the go and lose track. From the other side it looks like you’re being ghosted, but I never take these things personally."

I message first and I'm an awesome conversationalist.

When I have the energy

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"Maybe some should watch the movie on channel5 what women want "

Can you just tell us? Save us the 2 hours concentrating on that documentary?

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By *lan157Man  over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

I enjoy chatting to fabbers and it's best done off the site because of the difficulty in having a conversation when a woman has a sea of messages every time she is on line. That's not acceptable to some women which is fine . They can continue with the 3 word messages and one track conversations they get regularly on here . I always have socials first. If someone can't find time to meet for coffee etc then they are unlikely to have time or opportunity for anything else.Maybe I might miss out on something wonderful but it's a chance you have to take to make this lifestyle manageable.

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"This is what men dont often see. While women dont have to generally compete for attention on dating sites or places like here they do have to contend with an endless parade of samey messages and lack of imaginative conversations from what I understand.

It must be incredibly overwhelming at times. Female friends have told me even when they find guys attractive physically often theres nothing to discern between them since most conversations begin and end with a hi, how are you?

Sadly true. If I haven't arranged a meet within the first dozen or so messages, he almost always loses interest- quicker when I try to arrange a social meet first

This is another thing, what's wrong with a good old fashioned date!

I had someone give me so much abuse on a dating site last night because we'd exchanged about 4 messages and when invited over I said I can't he spat his dummy. Why are you on here then you freak!

He called me a freak about 4 times, so maybe I am a freak

I suspect fab is home to its fair share of incels. It may sound glib of me but if someone shows their true colours and goes from zero to complete prick in a matter of a few messages youve had a very lucky escape..."

That's very true, I'd hate to see those colours a little down the line

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"Maybe some should watch the movie on channel5 what women want

Can you just tell us? Save us the 2 hours concentrating on that documentary? "

He falls in the bath with a hairdryer and doesn't die.

The end.

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"Do you think women that message first are conversationalists? Or women in general on here are conversationalists? It sure doesn’t feel like That.

I think they may have a few on the go and lose track. From the other side it looks like you’re being ghosted, but I never take these things personally."

Yeah I suppose its difficult from all sides, a guy told me recently that he'd been chatting with lady and arranged to meet for a social....but she couldn't remember which one he was

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By *oquars19458Man  over a year ago

sheffield


"Do you think women that message first are conversationalists? Or women in general on here are conversationalists? It sure doesn’t feel like That.

No not necessarily, well I don't know because I don't get women message me so I can't really judge. I'm super chatty though "

Id like to chat, but im too old

Good wine in old bottles

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By *eductive_chaos OP   Woman  over a year ago

Northumberland


"Do you think women that message first are conversationalists? Or women in general on here are conversationalists? It sure doesn’t feel like That.

No not necessarily, well I don't know because I don't get women message me so I can't really judge. I'm super chatty though

Id like to chat, but im too old

Good wine in old bottles "

You're never too old to chat! In fact, doesn't good conversation come with years of practise?

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"Have you tried blocking single men from messaging you and search for the ones you like, OP?

I haven't tried blocking but I did search a bit and engage with some that I liked, those ones got bored of waiting lol.

Good idea though...

Always a good shout if you don't like being inundated and like to keep track of your conversations. Hope you manage to find someone you like!"

That only works if they have a decent profile, which is rare.

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By *ife NinjaMan  over a year ago

Dunfermline

Love a chat, love a club

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do you think women that message first are conversationalists? Or women in general on here are conversationalists? It sure doesn’t feel like That.

No not necessarily, well I don't know because I don't get women message me so I can't really judge. I'm super chatty though

Id like to chat, but im too old

Good wine in old bottles

You're never too old to chat! In fact, doesn't good conversation come with years of practise?"

It’s all I have left. I think that’s why, in person, younger women chat to me. They like drawing on life experience..especially at work.

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"Men essentially want a shag. Now. So if you’re not open to having a shag now what they’ll do is fuck you off and then get in touch every six months to “touch base” so it seems like they’re keeping in touch and you’ll eventually shag them.

They’re crafty!

Disclaimer: The above refers to SOME not all men and is written firmly tongue in cheek. No pm’s telling me I’m a bitter old trout. Thanks."

It's true though... I've had guys do this for years, I used to be flattered, but now I just laugh at them and block. I'm not going to be someone's option.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It just depends on your situation and experiences. I for one am too busy to be chasing.

Regardless, even with alot of time on your hands putting in too much effort when the numbers are stacked against you seems wasteful imo.

If you ever get a no show or ghosted you really don't feel like spending time messaging either.

I personally don't recall ever meeting someone on here if I've had lots of conversation first. Leaves for lots of conversation on the meet.

I think it all just boils down to a busy society coupled to a out of wack men to everyone else ratio

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Men essentially want a shag. Now. So if you’re not open to having a shag now what they’ll do is fuck you off and then get in touch every six months to “touch base” so it seems like they’re keeping in touch and you’ll eventually shag them.

They’re crafty!

Disclaimer: The above refers to SOME not all men and is written firmly tongue in cheek. No pm’s telling me I’m a bitter old trout. Thanks.

It's true though... I've had guys do this for years, I used to be flattered, but now I just laugh at them and block. I'm not going to be someone's option."

I used to be a lot more polite to guys like that. Now, I'm just blunt. And they've come back and said "I didn't want anything, I was just saying hi". Yeah sure.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Men essentially want a shag. Now. So if you’re not open to having a shag now what they’ll do is fuck you off and then get in touch every six months to “touch base” so it seems like they’re keeping in touch and you’ll eventually shag them.

They’re crafty!

Disclaimer: The above refers to SOME not all men and is written firmly tongue in cheek. No pm’s telling me I’m a bitter old trout. Thanks."

In defence of some men

I don’t want hold a convo going over text with someone I haven’t met for week/months. It’s just not mine, or many other people’s type of communication

So if we chat but you aren’t free this month, don’t expect me to keep a conversation going with someone I’ve never met

And don’t get me started on the fact that 99% of the time it’s the guy keeping the convo going. Very rarely will they reinitiate the convo

Once we’ve met and there’s a vibe, sure, let’s chat. Until then your just a stranger and you can’t blame a guy for having better things to do then trying to keep a complete stranger entertained

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By *TG3Man  over a year ago

Dorchester


"So my partner and I recently opened up our relationship, around 4 months ago.

A million times a day I hear about how difficult it is for single men to get a conversation going but jeeeeeez!!!! It's easy to get 100 hi bbe wwu2's a day but a decent conversationalist?!

And to top that off if you finally do get some decent conversation they get bored and disappear after a while because they don't want to wait.

It's bloody exhausting!!

That's all..."

True the whole thing is exhausting

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