I was talking to someone the other day and they were saying, with most(not all) couples in this lifestyle, they have found one had ADHD or shown ADHD traits. I found this quite interesting. Have any of you found this to be the case too?
If you have ADHD, kudos to you for getting this far without getting distracted   |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Maybe not ADHD but I've found a lot of people I connect with are neurodiverse and to be very honest?
It's so much easier for me. I like the direct way of talking, the understanding about styles of talking. The not having to explain spoons. The passion.
I'd go so far as to say my best lovers, in terms of those who could read my body and listened/adjusted accordingly have all, bar one, been neurospicy.
I'm not sure why there are so many neurodiverse folk in this erm "scene" but I'm here for it. As is my quim.
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The tendency to veer from one social norm often comes with a tendency to veer from other social norms.
Venn diagrams between many different groups will show a lot of overlap. Swinging, poly, bdsm, ttrpgs, various forms of neurospice. |
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I jumped the rainbow and missed the middle section and had to go back.
Squirrel!
I am starting to experience a significant degree of neurospice in the people I converse with. Perhaps it is anecdotally so because I have ADHD. Perhaps moreso because more people are becoming aware and diagnosed?
My experience for several reasons, not just ADHD: I've always been something of an outsider and felt social norms and conventions to be detrimental and at times exclusive.
So the people I have associated with have tended to be fringe-elements.
I think that experience can open people up to appreciating and desiring diversity in individuals. It can go the other way too, where people become guarded see people as threats, or 'sheep' etc. There's a kind of ironic affinity bias sometimes that the people who see others as sheep flock together.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was talking to someone the other day and they were saying, with most(not all) couples in this lifestyle, they have found one had ADHD or shown ADHD traits. I found this quite interesting. Have any of you found this to be the case too?
If you have ADHD, kudos to you for getting this far without getting distracted "
I’m adhd and have found the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not part of a couple but I have ADHD. Somehow I seem to match up with other ND folk on here especially men on the autistic spectrum, there are a fair few on here. |
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"I'm not part of a couple but I have ADHD. Somehow I seem to match up with other ND folk on here especially men on the autistic spectrum, there are a fair few on here. "
Very interesting. Always thought I've got ADD but never looked to get it diagnosed as it's never impacted me. |
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Neither of us are neurospicy but we’ve met so many who are in this lifestyle.
I guess it fits in with their busy minds - they are more open and honest and have a real zest.
The people we’ve met or chatted to are very sexual and enjoy the attention of two people.
Having not known much about the condition before, it’s raised our awareness and I think it’s an apt lifestyle for them.
K |
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I have ADHD, I was only diagnosed 18 months ago at 41. I'm embracing it all and understanding more about my mind hopping about, needing constant stimulation and diversity, my love of swinging definitely makes sense. |
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That would make sense. People who are neuro atypical tend to be friends with/ drawn to other people who are neuro atypical (so if loads of your friends have adhd/ autism/ dyslexia etc and you don’t consider yourself neuro spicy then I have news for you!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have ADHD, I was only diagnosed 18 months ago at 41. I'm embracing it all and understanding more about my mind hopping about, needing constant stimulation and diversity, my love of swinging definitely makes sense. "
Fascinating how so many of us have only found out relatively recently. Explains so so much about my past/interactions/reactions +
Love being me though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That would make sense. People who are neuro atypical tend to be friends with/ drawn to other people who are neuro atypical (so if loads of your friends have adhd/ autism/ dyslexia etc and you don’t consider yourself neuro spicy then I have news for you!)"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I also have adhd and have always thought differently then most ‘normal’ people. I’m quite reserved normally but I find I bounce off other people chaotic adhd energy more |
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I don't have a diagnosis but I strongly suspect I have ADHD due to seeing people who have it talk online about the effects it has on them. I've also spoken to an ADHD organisation over the phone and taken an online test. I just need to get on with contacting my GP to start the formal assessment route underway.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I also have adhd and have always thought differently then most ‘normal’ people. I’m quite reserved normally but I find I bounce off other people chaotic adhd energy more "
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"I don't have a diagnosis but I strongly suspect I have ADHD due to seeing people who have it talk online about the effects it has on them. I've also spoken to an ADHD organisation over the phone and taken an online test. I just need to get on with contacting my GP to start the formal assessment route underway.
"
What did your online test suggest? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was talking to someone the other day and they were saying, with most(not all) couples in this lifestyle, they have found one had ADHD or shown ADHD traits. I found this quite interesting. Have any of you found this to be the case too?
If you have ADHD, kudos to you for getting this far without getting distracted "
I’ve found people on the spectrum tend to have much higher rates of relationships not based around monogamy. So ENM or swingers or whatever |
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I suffer from the raw side of it
A.D.D I don't have the hyperactivity but do suffer with the attention deficit disorder I was diagnosed when I was 13 and have struggled with it since I was in the testing group for retilin and concerta X I'm happy to talk about it with anyone that wants to know I don't let it hold me back as it doesn't define who I am |
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"I suffer from the raw side of it
A.D.D I don't have the hyperactivity but do suffer with the attention deficit disorder I was diagnosed when I was 13 and have struggled with it since I was in the testing group for retilin and concerta X I'm happy to talk about it with anyone that wants to know I don't let it hold me back as it doesn't define who I am "
Do you take anything now for it or just deal with it yourself? |
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"I suffer from the raw side of it
A.D.D I don't have the hyperactivity but do suffer with the attention deficit disorder I was diagnosed when I was 13 and have struggled with it since I was in the testing group for retilin and concerta X I'm happy to talk about it with anyone that wants to know I don't let it hold me back as it doesn't define who I am
Do you take anything now for it or just deal with it yourself?"
been dealing with it without medication I have bad days and good days but occasionally I have absolutely horrible days it does get to me and it's always at the back of my mind if the add will kick in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suffer from the raw side of it
A.D.D I don't have the hyperactivity but do suffer with the attention deficit disorder I was diagnosed when I was 13 and have struggled with it since I was in the testing group for retilin and concerta X I'm happy to talk about it with anyone that wants to know I don't let it hold me back as it doesn't define who I am
Do you take anything now for it or just deal with it yourself?
been dealing with it without medication I have bad days and good days but occasionally I have absolutely horrible days it does get to me and it's always at the back of my mind if the add will kick in "
When you’re having bad days do you have something that helps you cope? Me I put my headphones and and listen to music because find it takes me out of my head and keeps me grounded |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suffer from the raw side of it
A.D.D I don't have the hyperactivity but do suffer with the attention deficit disorder I was diagnosed when I was 13 and have struggled with it since I was in the testing group for retilin and concerta X I'm happy to talk about it with anyone that wants to know I don't let it hold me back as it doesn't define who I am
Do you take anything now for it or just deal with it yourself?
been dealing with it without medication I have bad days and good days but occasionally I have absolutely horrible days it does get to me and it's always at the back of my mind if the add will kick in
When you’re having bad days do you have something that helps you cope? Me I put my headphones and and listen to music because find it takes me out of my head and keeps me grounded "
As weird as it sounds, water grounds me when I’m high as a kite (and not for drugs but for being overestimulated). Have a long shower, bath, go to a spa, swimming pool, sea… whatever but with water. |
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When you’re having bad days do you have something that helps you cope? Me I put my headphones and and listen to music because find it takes me out of my head and keeps me grounded "
Loud techno does it for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suffer from the raw side of it
A.D.D I don't have the hyperactivity but do suffer with the attention deficit disorder I was diagnosed when I was 13 and have struggled with it since I was in the testing group for retilin and concerta X I'm happy to talk about it with anyone that wants to know I don't let it hold me back as it doesn't define who I am
Do you take anything now for it or just deal with it yourself?
been dealing with it without medication I have bad days and good days but occasionally I have absolutely horrible days it does get to me and it's always at the back of my mind if the add will kick in
When you’re having bad days do you have something that helps you cope? Me I put my headphones and and listen to music because find it takes me out of my head and keeps me grounded "
Absolutely this! I wear them everywhere I can pretty much, and can concentrate so much better whilst using them. Club classics edm and trance (trance: music of the gods!) |
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"I was talking to someone the other day and they were saying, with most(not all) couples in this lifestyle, they have found one had ADHD or shown ADHD traits. I found this quite interesting. Have any of you found this to be the case too?
Not necessarily neurodivergent but I reckon a lot of us score highly in openness in the OCEAN scale.
If you have ADHD, kudos to you for getting this far without getting distracted "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suffer from the raw side of it
A.D.D I don't have the hyperactivity but do suffer with the attention deficit disorder I was diagnosed when I was 13 and have struggled with it since I was in the testing group for retilin and concerta X I'm happy to talk about it with anyone that wants to know I don't let it hold me back as it doesn't define who I am
Do you take anything now for it or just deal with it yourself?
been dealing with it without medication I have bad days and good days but occasionally I have absolutely horrible days it does get to me and it's always at the back of my mind if the add will kick in
When you’re having bad days do you have something that helps you cope? Me I put my headphones and and listen to music because find it takes me out of my head and keeps me grounded
As weird as it sounds, water grounds me when I’m high as a kite (and not for drugs but for being overestimulated). Have a long shower, bath, go to a spa, swimming pool, sea… whatever but with water."
I wouldn’t say it’s weird? Everyone has their own little way of self soothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suffer from the raw side of it
A.D.D I don't have the hyperactivity but do suffer with the attention deficit disorder I was diagnosed when I was 13 and have struggled with it since I was in the testing group for retilin and concerta X I'm happy to talk about it with anyone that wants to know I don't let it hold me back as it doesn't define who I am
Do you take anything now for it or just deal with it yourself?
been dealing with it without medication I have bad days and good days but occasionally I have absolutely horrible days it does get to me and it's always at the back of my mind if the add will kick in
When you’re having bad days do you have something that helps you cope? Me I put my headphones and and listen to music because find it takes me out of my head and keeps me grounded Absolutely this! I wear them everywhere I can pretty much, and can concentrate so much better whilst using them. Club classics edm and trance (trance: music of the gods!)"
I’m glad I’m not the only one who does this  although trance has never really been my thing I’ll listen to anything the catches my attention |
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"I suffer from the raw side of it
A.D.D I don't have the hyperactivity but do suffer with the attention deficit disorder I was diagnosed when I was 13 and have struggled with it since I was in the testing group for retilin and concerta X I'm happy to talk about it with anyone that wants to know I don't let it hold me back as it doesn't define who I am
Do you take anything now for it or just deal with it yourself?
been dealing with it without medication I have bad days and good days but occasionally I have absolutely horrible days it does get to me and it's always at the back of my mind if the add will kick in "
Do you find that's better for you than managing it with meds? |
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I have ADHD too and managing it without medication as my family have a history of heart disease.
I'm mainly managing it through diet and blasting out Aphex Twin or Squarepusher through my headphones whenever I have brain fog. Body doubling helps too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have ADHD too and managing it without medication as my family have a history of heart disease.
I'm mainly managing it through diet and blasting out Aphex Twin or Squarepusher through my headphones whenever I have brain fog. Body doubling helps too. "
Aphex Twin, love them! And I also am non-clinically medicated. Grounding is a lifesaver too IMO. I find diet plays a major part re: mood. Overly processed food is the absolute worst, soya milk (for me) is a demon
Not up to speed on body doubling, will look it up |
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Aphex twin is amazing. If you like him, Uziq, Squarepusher, Luke Vibert are all incredible too.
Yeah diet is a must. I used to be a chef many moons ago so I'm trying to put those skills together to make some simple meal plans and recipes. I found a low simple carb diet with loads of veg, natural probiotics like yoghurt and kimchi, and proteins with healthy fatty acids works for me. So loads of fish, pork belly, dairy, beans, legumes. I also try not to eat sugar or processed foods they are the enemy. I take a cod liver oil supplement and a Gingko Balboa supplement everyday too which seems to help me focus. |
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"The tendency to veer from one social norm often comes with a tendency to veer from other social norms.
Venn diagrams between many different groups will show a lot of overlap. Swinging, poly, bdsm, ttrpgs, various forms of neurospice."
This makes all the sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A huge number of lifestyle people have diagnosed or undiagnosed ADHD. I am one of those too and honestly it has been a weight lifted since coming to the realisation and whats more its been great meeting like minded neurodiverse types.
Nice to see a positive thread |
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