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Women not being honest with you

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Sorry ladies this is a bit of a rant getting a few things off my chest if you’re easily offended please scroll on

So here’s a short story matched with a 29yr old woman on tinder very pretty so we get chatting etc eventually move to WhatsApp chatting some more few voice notes I say we should get coffee and meet up she says yes so I start planning the date day time etc then the dreaded no response comes so I’m like oh yeah this shit again wait a few days hit her up again don’t here anything so give a couple new days and I hit up with “let me know if I should stop trying and I’ll never message you again” so she replies saying she’s been having a bad time she’s got ptsd with chronic back pain so she drinks a lot so I’m very understanding and like we can sort something out soon when you’re feeling a bit better chat a bit more I don’t message her for a week and here nothing cause obviously women never message first so fast forward a week which is this week her profile pops up on my Facebook and what you know it says in a relationship and tagged with the guys name so my question is ladies why not just be honest instead of coming up with a stupid bs excuse a simple “hey sorry I’ve actually started seeing someone else” at least you’ve been honest about it yeah might be a bit down but least you’ve been upfront and honest which is all you can do and I respect and like people who are honest I had a similar thing with a 34yr old on here you expect stuff like that from 19-22yr olds not more mature women anyway ladies be better and be honest with guys don’t give out bull shit excuses if you’ve met someone else or lost interest be upfront and honest that’s all you can do rant over thanks for reading

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/10/23 04:40:13]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sorry, took this one to PM.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

People of all genders lie.

Obviously you've had some bad experiences dating (which is common for everyone) and you're right to be annoyed, but directing your angst at *women* - and not, y'know, the person who deceived you - is emotionally immature.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think there’s lots of reasons that people behave like this. Let’s go with the- they don’t want to hurt or upset you or have to face that hurt, on this occasion.

Anyway I think you’re generalising here. Take the L. Charge it to the game.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm very much a believer in actions and matched effort.

Words mean very little.

Someone telling me they want to see me without then backing that up with actions would mean I'd just walk away.

I get your frustration but cut your losses and move on.

Don't waste time questioning the behaviour of others. Focus on your own.

If someone stops replying, then stop messaging.

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By *adMerWoman  over a year ago

Sandwich

People….. note people!! Lie often and about the most banal things.

In your particular case it seems her motives were about not wanting to upset you, or possibly she was just a really ruthless female that enjoys stringing guys along.

Either way, you cannot affect how people behave. You can however treat yourself with respect, in which case you wouldn’t have been desperately chasing any woman.

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By *uga6974Man  over a year ago

portimao

Well said he sounds very desperate chasing someone that is not worth the time and the tell tale signs were there

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some people just need to feel adored. They'll happily string anyone along just so they are getting their regular "fix" of self validation. Fab it known for it and some of the formites notorious for it. There are so many on here and other sites that are not swingers and have no intention of ever meeting. They just want to post sexy photos and have the world tell them how hot they are. Cool if thats their thing but those pretending to want meets then ghosting last minute are the bane of these sites. Thankfully there are also some amazing people that put the effort in and make this community a fun and vibrant place. In time you'll be able to spot them a lot easier. At the moment trust your "spidey senses" and look for those red flags.

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By *ansoffateMan  over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I agree you are making some generalisations, might be worth reflecting on. Otherwise you are going into future engagements with preconceived ideas.

You asked her to be straight with you looks like you are saying she wasn't. She doesn't meet your threshold for honesty. Better now than later.

She was open with you about her issues and I can tell you that PTSD is not easy to live with. If I feel like someone doesn't really get it, I pull away. I'd still say something if asked for a straight answer. Having to explain to someone why your PTSD would be an issue with them to the nth degree can be very unpleasant and quite distressing.

Those moments can sting pretty hard. I can understand the avoidance.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Don't give people too much power or energy. If someone says they need time then the balls in their court to message again, don't chase people or sit around waiting. Just live your life and the people worth it, you won't need to question if they are into you, you'll just know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"People of all genders lie.

Obviously you've had some bad experiences dating (which is common for everyone) and you're right to be annoyed, but directing your angst at *women* - and not, y'know, the person who deceived you - is emotionally immature."

Not directing any anger towards women I’m a straight man who is interested in women if this was a guy I’d say the exact same thing but it’s not so it’s not really emotionally immature I mean I’ve had women many times agree to meet then an hour later they block you a lot just want the attention like a drug to them

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I agree you are making some generalisations, might be worth reflecting on. Otherwise you are going into future engagements with preconceived ideas.

You asked her to be straight with you looks like you are saying she wasn't. She doesn't meet your threshold for honesty. Better now than later.

She was open with you about her issues and I can tell you that PTSD is not easy to live with. If I feel like someone doesn't really get it, I pull away. I'd still say something if asked for a straight answer. Having to explain to someone why your PTSD would be an issue with them to the nth degree can be very unpleasant and quite distressing.

Those moments can sting pretty hard. I can understand the avoidance."

It was more the “I have all this going on so not looking to date right now” and then I week ish later her fb profile pops up and says she’s in a relationship that’s the bit I did get annoyed with what it should of said was “I’m not looking to date you right now but this other guy who’s come along well all my problems are pushed to the side for him” that’s the honest answer obviously not going to say that I was just being sarcastic

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Well said he sounds very desperate chasing someone that is not worth the time and the tell tale signs were there "

I wouldn’t say desperate bro

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Part of the game bro. Woman gonna woman.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry ladies this is a bit of a rant getting a few things off my chest if you’re easily offended please scroll on

So here’s a short story matched with a 29yr old woman on tinder very pretty so we get chatting etc eventually move to WhatsApp chatting some more few voice notes I say we should get coffee and meet up she says yes so I start planning the date day time etc then the dreaded no response comes so I’m like oh yeah this shit again wait a few days hit her up again don’t here anything so give a couple new days and I hit up with “let me know if I should stop trying and I’ll never message you again” so she replies saying she’s been having a bad time she’s got ptsd with chronic back pain so she drinks a lot so I’m very understanding and like we can sort something out soon when you’re feeling a bit better chat a bit more I don’t message her for a week and here nothing cause obviously women never message first so fast forward a week which is this week her profile pops up on my Facebook and what you know it says in a relationship and tagged with the guys name so my question is ladies why not just be honest instead of coming up with a stupid bs excuse a simple “hey sorry I’ve actually started seeing someone else” at least you’ve been honest about it yeah might be a bit down but least you’ve been upfront and honest which is all you can do and I respect and like people who are honest I had a similar thing with a 34yr old on here you expect stuff like that from 19-22yr olds not more mature women anyway ladies be better and be honest with guys don’t give out bull shit excuses if you’ve met someone else or lost interest be upfront and honest that’s all you can do rant over thanks for reading "

And breathe!

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By *imisugarWoman  over a year ago

Rugby


"Well said he sounds very desperate chasing someone that is not worth the time and the tell tale signs were there

I wouldn’t say desperate bro"

The need to get it off your chest publicly does kinda show it affected you a lot. I don't think I could ever have been so invested in someone I've never physically met.

Personally for me when the conversation gets dry or the "excuses" why dates/meets can't happen. I look elsewhere.

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By *929Man  over a year ago

newcastle

As soon as sense hardly any effort with their messages just stop texting and move on mate your decent looking bloke going off your pictures plent others out there

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Maybe she didn’t want any abuse if she told you she’d got someone else.

I mean if we’re generalising about women lying we may as well generalise about men abusing right?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Wow, just wow. Some of the responses on here are astounding. If one of the popular women of the forum posted this they would be unindated with messages of support and cries of "it's his loss"

Is it any wonder the male suicide rate is so alarming high

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By *rimson_RoseWoman  over a year ago

Tamworth

This isn’t specific to women. It’s people in general.

Also, it doesn’t sound like you actually met? Maybe you are too full on and it felt smothering and she was uncomfortable about how you’d react.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As soon as sense hardly any effort with their messages just stop texting and move on mate your decent looking bloke going off your pictures plent others out there "

This x1000

The more guys simp and accept low effort the more low effort will be given

Hold them to a higher standard and you’ll receive a higher standard

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

After years of dealing with people on the Internet it's become very easy for me to brush people and their behaviour off.

I'm not perfect myself.

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By *adMerWoman  over a year ago

Sandwich

Also. You hadn’t met her in person, but already had access to her FB?

There’s some serious boundaries crossed right there!

I am not implying that you were deliberately crossing them, she may have offered that information. That would be a massive red flag in my book.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"Sorry ladies this is a bit of a rant getting a few things off my chest if you’re easily offended please scroll on

So here’s a short story matched with a 29yr old woman on tinder very pretty so we get chatting etc eventually move to WhatsApp chatting some more few voice notes I say we should get coffee and meet up she says yes so I start planning the date day time etc then the dreaded no response comes so I’m like oh yeah this shit again wait a few days hit her up again don’t here anything so give a couple new days and I hit up with “let me know if I should stop trying and I’ll never message you again” so she replies saying she’s been having a bad time she’s got ptsd with chronic back pain so she drinks a lot so I’m very understanding and like we can sort something out soon when you’re feeling a bit better chat a bit more I don’t message her for a week and here nothing cause obviously women never message first so fast forward a week which is this week her profile pops up on my Facebook and what you know it says in a relationship and tagged with the guys name so my question is ladies why not just be honest instead of coming up with a stupid bs excuse a simple “hey sorry I’ve actually started seeing someone else” at least you’ve been honest about it yeah might be a bit down but least you’ve been upfront and honest which is all you can do and I respect and like people who are honest I had a similar thing with a 34yr old on here you expect stuff like that from 19-22yr olds not more mature women anyway ladies be better and be honest with guys don’t give out bull shit excuses if you’ve met someone else or lost interest be upfront and honest that’s all you can do rant over thanks for reading "

Have a wank it's easier

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By *eyond PurityCouple  over a year ago

Lincolnshire

You’ll never know the reasons she done it - so give her as much thought as she has done you.

Some people you’ll never understand, so it’s best to focus on people that you do understand.

K

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Op.. This was tinder.. Right?

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By *eyond PurityCouple  over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"Also. You hadn’t met her in person, but already had access to her FB?

There’s some serious boundaries crossed right there!

I am not implying that you were deliberately crossing them, she may have offered that information. That would be a massive red flag in my book."

When you are given a phone number and start chatting on WhatsApp then likelihood is that they’ll then pop up as a potential friend on the book of face.

That’s why we don’t give our number out and chat on Telegram - too much is revealed when you give your number out.

K

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Also. You hadn’t met her in person, but already had access to her FB?

There’s some serious boundaries crossed right there!

I am not implying that you were deliberately crossing them, she may have offered that information. That would be a massive red flag in my book."

I'm not defending the OP but I do think it's worth pointing out that data on apps links and gets shared in a way that means people on fab or other apps can show up in suggested friends for you on FB and other places. You don't even need to go looking, the data and platforms does it for you these days.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Also. You hadn’t met her in person, but already had access to her FB?

There’s some serious boundaries crossed right there!

I am not implying that you were deliberately crossing them, she may have offered that information. That would be a massive red flag in my book.

When you are given a phone number and start chatting on WhatsApp then likelihood is that they’ll then pop up as a potential friend on the book of face.

That’s why we don’t give our number out and chat on Telegram - too much is revealed when you give your number out.

K"

What he said ^

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry ladies this is a bit of a rant getting a few things off my chest if you’re easily offended please scroll on

So here’s a short story matched with a 29yr old woman on tinder very pretty so we get chatting etc eventually move to WhatsApp chatting some more few voice notes I say we should get coffee and meet up she says yes so I start planning the date day time etc then the dreaded no response comes so I’m like oh yeah this shit again wait a few days hit her up again don’t here anything so give a couple new days and I hit up with “let me know if I should stop trying and I’ll never message you again” so she replies saying she’s been having a bad time she’s got ptsd with chronic back pain so she drinks a lot so I’m very understanding and like we can sort something out soon when you’re feeling a bit better chat a bit more I don’t message her for a week and here nothing cause obviously women never message first so fast forward a week which is this week her profile pops up on my Facebook and what you know it says in a relationship and tagged with the guys name so my question is ladies why not just be honest instead of coming up with a stupid bs excuse a simple “hey sorry I’ve actually started seeing someone else” at least you’ve been honest about it yeah might be a bit down but least you’ve been upfront and honest which is all you can do and I respect and like people who are honest I had a similar thing with a 34yr old on here you expect stuff like that from 19-22yr olds not more mature women anyway ladies be better and be honest with guys don’t give out bull shit excuses if you’ve met someone else or lost interest be upfront and honest that’s all you can do rant over thanks for reading "

Things happen op. Good bad or bs situations just overide it. Let it pass, on here you can block people. As for other apps do the same, move on.

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By *issmorganWoman  over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Some people like the attention op and have no Intention of meeting others ,some have hidden partners ,so meeting is harder for them.

Sadly both men and women are guilty of not being honest and messing others around .

All I'll say is once someone shows you who they are ,believe them.Dont excuse their behaviour ,just cut ties with them.

I think dating must be a minefield those days ,I always say I ever become single ,I'd stay single.

Good luck with the dating op .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry ladies this is a bit of a rant getting a few things off my chest if you’re easily offended please scroll on

So here’s a short story matched with a 29yr old woman on tinder very pretty so we get chatting etc eventually move to WhatsApp chatting some more few voice notes I say we should get coffee and meet up she says yes so I start planning the date day time etc then the dreaded no response comes so I’m like oh yeah this shit again wait a few days hit her up again don’t here anything so give a couple new days and I hit up with “let me know if I should stop trying and I’ll never message you again” so she replies saying she’s been having a bad time she’s got ptsd with chronic back pain so she drinks a lot so I’m very understanding and like we can sort something out soon when you’re feeling a bit better chat a bit more I don’t message her for a week and here nothing cause obviously women never message first so fast forward a week which is this week her profile pops up on my Facebook and what you know it says in a relationship and tagged with the guys name so my question is ladies why not just be honest instead of coming up with a stupid bs excuse a simple “hey sorry I’ve actually started seeing someone else” at least you’ve been honest about it yeah might be a bit down but least you’ve been upfront and honest which is all you can do and I respect and like people who are honest I had a similar thing with a 34yr old on here you expect stuff like that from 19-22yr olds not more mature women anyway ladies be better and be honest with guys don’t give out bull shit excuses if you’ve met someone else or lost interest be upfront and honest that’s all you can do rant over thanks for reading "

Shouldn't this be titled "people being honest"

Some people on here are in relationships and lie about it

Nothing to do with gender

Just block her and move on

She clearly thinks she has done nothing wrong so there would be no point in speaking to her about it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People of all genders lie.

Obviously you've had some bad experiences dating (which is common for everyone) and you're right to be annoyed, but directing your angst at *women* - and not, y'know, the person who deceived you - is emotionally immature.

Not directing any anger towards women I’m a straight man who is interested in women if this was a guy I’d say the exact same thing but it’s not so it’s not really emotionally immature I mean I’ve had women many times agree to meet then an hour later they block you a lot just want the attention like a drug to them "

We can all read your words, the only person you're fooling is yourself.

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By *rHotNottsMan  over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"thanks for reading "

I didn’t , way too much text and no line breaks - but I sincerely hope whatever it is gets fixed for you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry ladies this is a bit of a rant getting a few things off my chest if you’re easily offended please scroll on

So here’s a short story matched with a 29yr old woman on tinder very pretty so we get chatting etc eventually move to WhatsApp chatting some more few voice notes I say we should get coffee and meet up she says yes so I start planning the date day time etc then the dreaded no response comes so I’m like oh yeah this shit again wait a few days hit her up again don’t here anything so give a couple new days and I hit up with “let me know if I should stop trying and I’ll never message you again” so she replies saying she’s been having a bad time she’s got ptsd with chronic back pain so she drinks a lot so I’m very understanding and like we can sort something out soon when you’re feeling a bit better chat a bit more I don’t message her for a week and here nothing cause obviously women never message first so fast forward a week which is this week her profile pops up on my Facebook and what you know it says in a relationship and tagged with the guys name so my question is ladies why not just be honest instead of coming up with a stupid bs excuse a simple “hey sorry I’ve actually started seeing someone else” at least you’ve been honest about it yeah might be a bit down but least you’ve been upfront and honest which is all you can do and I respect and like people who are honest I had a similar thing with a 34yr old on here you expect stuff like that from 19-22yr olds not more mature women anyway ladies be better and be honest with guys don’t give out bull shit excuses if you’ve met someone else or lost interest be upfront and honest that’s all you can do rant over thanks for reading "

You said this was a short story!

Jokes.

Light humour for you.

Both sexes lie.

Though not everyone does.

Maybe try organised socials?

Meeting genuine people without all the messaging probs the best thing I've done recently

Hope your okay after your rant.

Sometimes writing these things down on paper and then scrunching it in a ball in the bin helps myself. Just an if you ever fancy a rant less public.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman  over a year ago

Markfield

It’s all ages and all genders. People like to hedge their bets and keep options open. People like the excitement of having someone new to play with or to have someone in reserve incase things don’t work out with a new relationship.

It’s a tough lesson to learn but a good one to take on board. Not everyone on the internet is telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

We tend to repeat our behaviour, so if you're finding patterns that aren't the best for you, consider making some changes.

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By *0lden0ldieMan  over a year ago

Stewartby


"Sorry ladies this is a bit of a rant getting a few things off my chest if you’re easily offended please scroll on

So here’s a short story matched with a 29yr old woman on tinder very pretty so we get chatting etc eventually move to WhatsApp chatting some more few voice notes I say we should get coffee and meet up she says yes so I start planning the date day time etc then the dreaded no response comes so I’m like oh yeah this shit again wait a few days hit her up again don’t here anything so give a couple new days and I hit up with “let me know if I should stop trying and I’ll never message you again” so she replies saying she’s been having a bad time she’s got ptsd with chronic back pain so she drinks a lot so I’m very understanding and like we can sort something out soon when you’re feeling a bit better chat a bit more I don’t message her for a week and here nothing cause obviously women never message first so fast forward a week which is this week her profile pops up on my Facebook and what you know it says in a relationship and tagged with the guys name so my question is ladies why not just be honest instead of coming up with a stupid bs excuse a simple “hey sorry I’ve actually started seeing someone else” at least you’ve been honest about it yeah might be a bit down but least you’ve been upfront and honest which is all you can do and I respect and like people who are honest I had a similar thing with a 34yr old on here you expect stuff like that from 19-22yr olds not more mature women anyway ladies be better and be honest with guys don’t give out bull shit excuses if you’ve met someone else or lost interest be upfront and honest that’s all you can do rant over thanks for reading "

Who’s idea was it to move chat to WhatsApp?

I won’t ever chat on WhatsApp with anyone I haven’t met any more. Did it once and ended up getting bombarded with scam calls and texts. (Please Don’t condemn me for that. You don’t know the full story)

Thankfully I found an app to block known scam calls.

I think your lucky. It could have been worse.

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By *hortishblondeWoman  over a year ago

Essex

I'm too honest that's my problem

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By *ris GrayMan  over a year ago

Dorchester

Most women like to think they are honest but are they?

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By *hortishblondeWoman  over a year ago

Essex


"Most women like to think they are honest but are they? "

Yep I most certainly am

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Also. You hadn’t met her in person, but already had access to her FB?

There’s some serious boundaries crossed right there!

I am not implying that you were deliberately crossing them, she may have offered that information. That would be a massive red flag in my book."

When you have someone’s number on your phone if they have fb there profile can pop up the “people you may know” section if you have fb you would of seen this so no boundaries crossed

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"People of all genders lie.

Obviously you've had some bad experiences dating (which is common for everyone) and you're right to be annoyed, but directing your angst at *women* - and not, y'know, the person who deceived you - is emotionally immature.

Not directing any anger towards women I’m a straight man who is interested in women if this was a guy I’d say the exact same thing but it’s not so it’s not really emotionally immature I mean I’ve had women many times agree to meet then an hour later they block you a lot just want the attention like a drug to them

We can all read your words, the only person you're fooling is yourself."

Well that’s your opinion I respectfully disagree but hey we are all different

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Op.. This was tinder.. Right? "

Initially on tinder yes

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By *orny-DJMan  over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

You really shouldn't be posting the contebt of personal messages on the forum, whether they're from fab or elsewhere, not to mention the fact that discussing other web sites is also against the rules.

Airing your dirty laundry in the forums is not cool and should really be kept between the two of you.

Not to mention the red flags you're throwing up for any potential meets on here about ypur lack of discretion

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading

I think she wanted to keep you on the back burner in case the new relationship didn't work out. As others have said if the effort isn't being matched it probably isn't going anywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When I read drinks alot. Avoid avoid avoid.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You really shouldn't be posting the contebt of personal messages on the forum, whether they're from fab or elsewhere, not to mention the fact that discussing other web sites is also against the rules.

Airing your dirty laundry in the forums is not cool and should really be kept between the two of you.

Not to mention the red flags you're throwing up for any potential meets on here about ypur lack of discretion

"

Well I certainly have no idea who the third party the OP is talking about is, and there’s always generic “shitty message” whinge threads on here so I think he’s all good from my perspective. Carry on OP

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By *mf123Man  over a year ago

with one foot out the door

You got to love her, tease her, don't squeeze her

You got to try, na na na na na

Try, try a little tinderness, yeah

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"Sorry ladies this is a bit of a rant getting a few things off my chest if you’re easily offended please scroll on

So here’s a short story matched with a 29yr old woman on tinder very pretty so we get chatting etc eventually move to WhatsApp chatting some more few voice notes I say we should get coffee and meet up she says yes so I start planning the date day time etc then the dreaded no response comes so I’m like oh yeah this shit again wait a few days hit her up again don’t here anything so give a couple new days and I hit up with “let me know if I should stop trying and I’ll never message you again” so she replies saying she’s been having a bad time she’s got ptsd with chronic back pain so she drinks a lot so I’m very understanding and like we can sort something out soon when you’re feeling a bit better chat a bit more I don’t message her for a week and here nothing cause obviously women never message first so fast forward a week which is this week her profile pops up on my Facebook and what you know it says in a relationship and tagged with the guys name so my question is ladies why not just be honest instead of coming up with a stupid bs excuse a simple “hey sorry I’ve actually started seeing someone else” at least you’ve been honest about it yeah might be a bit down but least you’ve been upfront and honest which is all you can do and I respect and like people who are honest I had a similar thing with a 34yr old on here you expect stuff like that from 19-22yr olds not more mature women anyway ladies be better and be honest with guys don’t give out bull shit excuses if you’ve met someone else or lost interest be upfront and honest that’s all you can do rant over thanks for reading

"

.

I wouldn't say "ladies be better and be honest" over this. She never even gave you any date, she just gave you an excuse for going silent when it turned out she probably/maybe should've left it, or perhaps said something else. But you can't be sure of her timeline anyway.

It's good to be mature and honest but it's hardly mature to throw the net over something like this. Tbh you could have a pretty rough time on Fab if you don't build something of a skin for this kind of thing. Ghosting it's generally called, it just happens.

Saying "obviously women never message first" doesn't make a lot of sense to me either, but I assume that is just some more sour grapes rather than an indication that all those WA messages were maybe a little led from the front. Plenty more fish in the sea OP.

pt

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By *iger4uWoman  over a year ago

In my happy place

Op don't invest too early.

Youre over thinking it.

This woman owes you nothing. Soubds like it's done you a favour, one to avoid.

Find a first date with someone else. Have lots of them. Something might develop.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Paragraphs, for the love of God, paragraphs.

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London

Just do yourself a favour and stop being understanding. Women don't deserve a second chance, and it's not worth giving them. I did, thinking they'll come around but they just don't. And if they do, they are problems in the future.

Just need to keep getting out there and try try try until you find the rare ones, who don't cancel on dates with flimsy excuses. But don't get your hopes up 99,9% of them will always have a last minute emergency.

The ones who are really interested but something happened for real (no excuse), they will try to reschedule. And not just "sometime" but they offer actual alternatives like "let's do this again on tuesday" or something. But that basically never happens.

Don't respond. They know what they are doing, and there is no way you should play their games, understanding or angry or whatever. You only win, if you don't play.

Ignore their excuses, delete the chat entirely (if you keep reading it, you might send something stupid). If she actually comes around, she will message you again. (but again: This is not going to happen, so stop hoping. THis is not a method to change her mind, but a method for YOURSELF on how to deal with it and get to terms with it)

Just date other women, if you have none, do your best to find some, and if you really still don't find anyone, get a nice fleshlight with a shower mount. Flimsy women are about as good as a nice, wet artificial shower fuck

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London

Oh, also: DON'T OVERTHINK IT.

Once you start analysing it, you just give yourself a headfuck. Just ignore the whole damn thing, let people come to you, stop making the big effort after they shut you down. They lost out on you, not the other way around.

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By *ovetolick78Man  over a year ago

The Shire

Hey sorry to hear that, I gave up with tinder as never got any matches.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry ladies this is a bit of a rant getting a few things off my chest if you’re easily offended please scroll on

So here’s a short story matched with a 29yr old woman on tinder very pretty so we get chatting etc eventually move to WhatsApp chatting some more few voice notes I say we should get coffee and meet up she says yes so I start planning the date day time etc then the dreaded no response comes so I’m like oh yeah this shit again wait a few days hit her up again don’t here anything so give a couple new days and I hit up with “let me know if I should stop trying and I’ll never message you again” so she replies saying she’s been having a bad time she’s got ptsd with chronic back pain so she drinks a lot so I’m very understanding and like we can sort something out soon when you’re feeling a bit better chat a bit more I don’t message her for a week and here nothing cause obviously women never message first so fast forward a week which is this week her profile pops up on my Facebook and what you know it says in a relationship and tagged with the guys name so my question is ladies why not just be honest instead of coming up with a stupid bs excuse a simple “hey sorry I’ve actually started seeing someone else” at least you’ve been honest about it yeah might be a bit down but least you’ve been upfront and honest which is all you can do and I respect and like people who are honest I had a similar thing with a 34yr old on here you expect stuff like that from 19-22yr olds not more mature women anyway ladies be better and be honest with guys don’t give out bull shit excuses if you’ve met someone else or lost interest be upfront and honest that’s all you can do rant over thanks for reading "

Soz OP, if you could break that down into paragraphs....

It maybe easier to read......

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with."

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

OP you do sound angry and I get that you needed to rant and get it off your chest. When things like this happen to me (which they have) I'm often as angry at myself for putting up with crap. But we don't have to put up with it if people aren't being respectful. They don't deserve your time. Hopefully the next woman you hit it off with will be deserving of your energies. Good luck.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"Just do yourself a favour and stop being understanding. Women don't deserve a second chance, and it's not worth giving them. I did, thinking they'll come around but they just don't. And if they do, they are problems in the future.

Just need to keep getting out there and try try try until you find the rare ones, who don't cancel on dates with flimsy excuses. But don't get your hopes up 99,9% of them will always have a last minute emergency.

The ones who are really interested but something happened for real (no excuse), they will try to reschedule. And not just "sometime" but they offer actual alternatives like "let's do this again on tuesday" or something. But that basically never happens.

Don't respond. They know what they are doing, and there is no way you should play their games, understanding or angry or whatever. You only win, if you don't play.

Ignore their excuses, delete the chat entirely (if you keep reading it, you might send something stupid). If she actually comes around, she will message you again. (but again: This is not going to happen, so stop hoping. THis is not a method to change her mind, but a method for YOURSELF on how to deal with it and get to terms with it)

Just date other women, if you have none, do your best to find some, and if you really still don't find anyone, get a nice fleshlight with a shower mount. Flimsy women are about as good as a nice, wet artificial shower fuck "

Well ain't you just a bundle of joy, all love n light n shit.....

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"Just do yourself a favour and stop being understanding. Women don't deserve a second chance, and it's not worth giving them. I did, thinking they'll come around but they just don't. And if they do, they are problems in the future.

Just need to keep getting out there and try try try until you find the rare ones, who don't cancel on dates with flimsy excuses. But don't get your hopes up 99,9% of them will always have a last minute emergency.

The ones who are really interested but something happened for real (no excuse), they will try to reschedule. And not just "sometime" but they offer actual alternatives like "let's do this again on tuesday" or something. But that basically never happens.

Don't respond. They know what they are doing, and there is no way you should play their games, understanding or angry or whatever. You only win, if you don't play.

Ignore their excuses, delete the chat entirely (if you keep reading it, you might send something stupid). If she actually comes around, she will message you again. (but again: This is not going to happen, so stop hoping. THis is not a method to change her mind, but a method for YOURSELF on how to deal with it and get to terms with it)

Just date other women, if you have none, do your best to find some, and if you really still don't find anyone, get a nice fleshlight with a shower mount. Flimsy women are about as good as a nice, wet artificial shower fuck

Well ain't you just a bundle of joy, all love n light n shit....."

What were you expecting? "Oh, just keep trying. maybe she'll grace you with a glimpse in your direction one day, we need to treat all women like queens and kiss the boots that kick us."

Sorry man. If they flake with some BS, then good riddance. There are no second chances, unless she really puts all the effort in to make up for it. Everything else is not acceptable.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"Just do yourself a favour and stop being understanding. Women don't deserve a second chance, and it's not worth giving them. I did, thinking they'll come around but they just don't. And if they do, they are problems in the future.

Just need to keep getting out there and try try try until you find the rare ones, who don't cancel on dates with flimsy excuses. But don't get your hopes up 99,9% of them will always have a last minute emergency.

The ones who are really interested but something happened for real (no excuse), they will try to reschedule. And not just "sometime" but they offer actual alternatives like "let's do this again on tuesday" or something. But that basically never happens.

Don't respond. They know what they are doing, and there is no way you should play their games, understanding or angry or whatever. You only win, if you don't play.

Ignore their excuses, delete the chat entirely (if you keep reading it, you might send something stupid). If she actually comes around, she will message you again. (but again: This is not going to happen, so stop hoping. THis is not a method to change her mind, but a method for YOURSELF on how to deal with it and get to terms with it)

Just date other women, if you have none, do your best to find some, and if you really still don't find anyone, get a nice fleshlight with a shower mount. Flimsy women are about as good as a nice, wet artificial shower fuck

Well ain't you just a bundle of joy, all love n light n shit.....

What were you expecting? "Oh, just keep trying. maybe she'll grace you with a glimpse in your direction one day, we need to treat all women like queens and kiss the boots that kick us."

Sorry man. If they flake with some BS, then good riddance. There are no second chances, unless she really puts all the effort in to make up for it. Everything else is not acceptable."

I'm.just saying you're a bundle if joy, I carry no expectations

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By *illy IdolMan  over a year ago

Midlands


"Just do yourself a favour and stop being understanding. Women don't deserve a second chance, and it's not worth giving them. I did, thinking they'll come around but they just don't. And if they do, they are problems in the future.

Just need to keep getting out there and try try try until you find the rare ones, who don't cancel on dates with flimsy excuses. But don't get your hopes up 99,9% of them will always have a last minute emergency.

The ones who are really interested but something happened for real (no excuse), they will try to reschedule. And not just "sometime" but they offer actual alternatives like "let's do this again on tuesday" or something. But that basically never happens.

Don't respond. They know what they are doing, and there is no way you should play their games, understanding or angry or whatever. You only win, if you don't play.

Ignore their excuses, delete the chat entirely (if you keep reading it, you might send something stupid). If she actually comes around, she will message you again. (but again: This is not going to happen, so stop hoping. THis is not a method to change her mind, but a method for YOURSELF on how to deal with it and get to terms with it)

Just date other women, if you have none, do your best to find some, and if you really still don't find anyone, get a nice fleshlight with a shower mount. Flimsy women are about as good as a nice, wet artificial shower fuck

Well ain't you just a bundle of joy, all love n light n shit.....

What were you expecting? "Oh, just keep trying. maybe she'll grace you with a glimpse in your direction one day, we need to treat all women like queens and kiss the boots that kick us."

Sorry man. If they flake with some BS, then good riddance. There are no second chances, unless she really puts all the effort in to make up for it. Everything else is not acceptable."

Plenty of more fish in the sea for a sailor

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey. "

Ever asked yourself what the common denominator is

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

This woman has done very little really, certainly compared to the level of misogyny in this thread. She didn't even give him a date. The lack of readable paragraphing in the OP may make some people assume she was worse than she was. She ghosted him a bit possibly, pulled back a little after an ultimatum, then seemed to find someone else.

Imo there is little worse than seeing angry men who can't take seem to take relatively simple forms of rejection without deflecting their grief on women in general (a theme throughout this thread) - and who frankly just need to grow a pair! Super male men without any cajones, just what the world needs more of right now.

pt

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

"

Are you attracting good (ie normal everyday) women do you think? If you display in 'real life' the kind of casual misogyny you have shown on this forum I would think most of them would run a mile.

pt

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By *nsatiable n baldCouple  over a year ago

somewhere only we know

No response is a response

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By *adMerWoman  over a year ago

Sandwich


"Also. You hadn’t met her in person, but already had access to her FB?

There’s some serious boundaries crossed right there!

I am not implying that you were deliberately crossing them, she may have offered that information. That would be a massive red flag in my book.

When you have someone’s number on your phone if they have fb there profile can pop up the “people you may know” section if you have fb you would of seen this so no boundaries crossed "

Which implies that they had exchanged numbers. I don’t exchange my number with strangers. Plus my FB is locked down tight.

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Ever asked yourself what the common denominator is "

Right. Blame me, when they make excuses. Women who get r aped, are also at fault for wearing sexy clothing, right? Right?

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Are you attracting good (ie normal everyday) women do you think? If you display in 'real life' the kind of casual misogyny you have shown on this forum I would think most of them would run a mile.

pt"

People throw the word "misogynist" around way too lightly. I am not a misogynist. What have I said? "Don't deserve a second chance if they yank you round" and "focus on yourself" and "women who are flakey are not worth having in your life".

Oh my, what a misogynist I am, eh?

And yeah, I know a lot of women who aren't like that and don't play stupid games of lies and ghosting with men. But it's still very common, too common.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Are you attracting good (ie normal everyday) women do you think? If you display in 'real life' the kind of casual misogyny you have shown on this forum I would think most of them would run a mile.

pt

People throw the word "misogynist" around way too lightly. I am not a misogynist. What have I said? "Don't deserve a second chance if they yank you round" and "focus on yourself" and "women who are flakey are not worth having in your life".

Oh my, what a misogynist I am, eh?

And yeah, I know a lot of women who aren't like that and don't play stupid games of lies and ghosting with men. But it's still very common, too common."

I don't think pt just means this thread...

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Are you attracting good (ie normal everyday) women do you think? If you display in 'real life' the kind of casual misogyny you have shown on this forum I would think most of them would run a mile.

pt

People throw the word "misogynist" around way too lightly. I am not a misogynist. What have I said? "Don't deserve a second chance if they yank you round" and "focus on yourself" and "women who are flakey are not worth having in your life".

Oh my, what a misogynist I am, eh?

And yeah, I know a lot of women who aren't like that and don't play stupid games of lies and ghosting with men. But it's still very common, too common.

I don't think pt just means this thread..."

You're blocked. Stop breaking the rules by communicating

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry ladies this is a bit of a rant getting a few things off my chest if you’re easily offended please scroll on

So here’s a short story matched with a 29yr old woman on tinder very pretty so we get chatting etc eventually move to WhatsApp chatting some more few voice notes I say we should get coffee and meet up she says yes so I start planning the date day time etc then the dreaded no response comes so I’m like oh yeah this shit again wait a few days hit her up again don’t here anything so give a couple new days and I hit up with “let me know if I should stop trying and I’ll never message you again” so she replies saying she’s been having a bad time she’s got ptsd with chronic back pain so she drinks a lot so I’m very understanding and like we can sort something out soon when you’re feeling a bit better chat a bit more I don’t message her for a week and here nothing cause obviously women never message first so fast forward a week which is this week her profile pops up on my Facebook and what you know it says in a relationship and tagged with the guys name so my question is ladies why not just be honest instead of coming up with a stupid bs excuse a simple “hey sorry I’ve actually started seeing someone else” at least you’ve been honest about it yeah might be a bit down but least you’ve been upfront and honest which is all you can do and I respect and like people who are honest I had a similar thing with a 34yr old on here you expect stuff like that from 19-22yr olds not more mature women anyway ladies be better and be honest with guys don’t give out bull shit excuses if you’ve met someone else or lost interest be upfront and honest that’s all you can do rant over thanks for reading "

Plenty more fish in the sea op.

You will find this better to just shrug it off and go I will not let this get the better of me. Good luck in all you do Op.

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"You really shouldn't be posting the contebt of personal messages on the forum, whether they're from fab or elsewhere, not to mention the fact that discussing other web sites is also against the rules.

Airing your dirty laundry in the forums is not cool and should really be kept between the two of you.

Not to mention the red flags you're throwing up for any potential meets on here about ypur lack of discretion

"

Harsh, he's not given any names etc.

The forums are for people to post about anything they like.

People are just like this... for so many reasons, most of which we'll never understand.

Advice from me would be to arrange a coffee within the first 2 weeks of chatting and don't exchange numbers until you've met. Don't invest so much into someone you haven't met, then it's a lot easier to let them go

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Ever asked yourself what the common denominator is

Right. Blame me, when they make excuses. Women who get r aped, are also at fault for wearing sexy clothing, right? Right?"

Dunno why you’ve brought that into it. Totally irrelevant. My point is if the women you meet are ‘flakey’ maybe it’s just you

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Ever asked yourself what the common denominator is "

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Ever asked yourself what the common denominator is

Right. Blame me, when they make excuses. Women who get r aped, are also at fault for wearing sexy clothing, right? Right?

Dunno why you’ve brought that into it. Totally irrelevant. My point is if the women you meet are ‘flakey’ maybe it’s just you "

Captain Bird's eye deals with some quality flaky goods....

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Ever asked yourself what the common denominator is

"

It's 'common factor (and a common mistake), but was clever anyway lol. pt

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Ever asked yourself what the common denominator is

It's 'common factor (and a common mistake), but was clever anyway lol. pt"

I stand corrected

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Ever asked yourself what the common denominator is

Right. Blame me, when they make excuses. Women who get r aped, are also at fault for wearing sexy clothing, right? Right?

Dunno why you’ve brought that into it. Totally irrelevant. My point is if the women you meet are ‘flakey’ maybe it’s just you "

Yeah, but it's not just me. Don't throw common sense out of the window just because you don't want to admit, that may women do that. Like, drop the act. Seriously. There is no need to pretend that way, we all know that it's a common thing and has nothing to do with me individually.

Stop pretending. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Ever asked yourself what the common denominator is

Right. Blame me, when they make excuses. Women who get r aped, are also at fault for wearing sexy clothing, right? Right?

Dunno why you’ve brought that into it. Totally irrelevant. My point is if the women you meet are ‘flakey’ maybe it’s just you

Yeah, but it's not just me. Don't throw common sense out of the window just because you don't want to admit, that may women do that. Like, drop the act. Seriously. There is no need to pretend that way, we all know that it's a common thing and has nothing to do with me individually.

Stop pretending. Thanks."

Are you okay Caesar? No one’s pretending anything? I’m actually a woman so I can actually give a woman’s perspective… I’d make excuses to avoid abuse. I’d make excuses if I didn’t want to do something but was worried about how it would be received. If every woman you interact with becomes ‘flakey’ I think it’s a fair assumption that you are the problem. That’s not pretending, that’s evidence-based reporting is it not? Straight from the camels mouth, no?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Flakiness exists on both sides but you’d only hear “your the problem” directed at one side and “his loss” directed at the other

The double standards continue

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Flakiness exists on both sides but you’d only hear “your the problem” directed at one side and “his loss” directed at the other

The double standards continue"

Do you? Or do you only hear what you want to hear?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Flakiness exists on both sides but you’d only hear “your the problem” directed at one side and “his loss” directed at the other

The double standards continue

Do you? Or do you only hear what you want to hear?"

Evidence based reporting mush.

I wouldn’t expect someone involved with the double standard to understand

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Flakiness exists on both sides but you’d only hear “your the problem” directed at one side and “his loss” directed at the other

The double standards continue

Do you? Or do you only hear what you want to hear?

Evidence based reporting mush.

I wouldn’t expect someone involved with the double standard to understand "

Oh okay. I shall add ‘involved with the double standard’ to my cv

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Ever asked yourself what the common denominator is

Right. Blame me, when they make excuses. Women who get r aped, are also at fault for wearing sexy clothing, right? Right?

Dunno why you’ve brought that into it. Totally irrelevant. My point is if the women you meet are ‘flakey’ maybe it’s just you

Yeah, but it's not just me. Don't throw common sense out of the window just because you don't want to admit, that may women do that. Like, drop the act. Seriously. There is no need to pretend that way, we all know that it's a common thing and has nothing to do with me individually.

Stop pretending. Thanks.

Are you okay Caesar? No one’s pretending anything? I’m actually a woman so I can actually give a woman’s perspective… I’d make excuses to avoid abuse. I’d make excuses if I didn’t want to do something but was worried about how it would be received. If every woman you interact with becomes ‘flakey’ I think it’s a fair assumption that you are the problem. That’s not pretending, that’s evidence-based reporting is it not? Straight from the camels mouth, no? "

I would second this

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"Flakiness exists on both sides but you’d only hear “your the problem” directed at one side and “his loss” directed at the other

The double standards continue

Do you? Or do you only hear what you want to hear?

Evidence based reporting mush.

I wouldn’t expect someone involved with the double standard to understand

Oh okay. I shall add ‘involved with the double standard’ to my cv "

You getting double teamed here Fluffy, like a 3sum going on.....don't even bother arguing against this.....there's no point neither will move from their viewpoints on this.

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Ever asked yourself what the common denominator is

It's 'common factor (and a common mistake), but was clever anyway lol. pt

I stand corrected

"

.

Actually it's me who should do that

(before anyone else points it out lol. though it would serve me right for being pedantic!)

I just checked out of curiosity and it's entered dictionaries now as "also a fact or quality that is shared by two or more people or groups", through common-usage no doubt.

Basically in everyday language it means what you intended it to.

pt

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Flakiness exists on both sides but you’d only hear “your the problem” directed at one side and “his loss” directed at the other

The double standards continue

Do you? Or do you only hear what you want to hear?

Evidence based reporting mush.

I wouldn’t expect someone involved with the double standard to understand

Oh okay. I shall add ‘involved with the double standard’ to my cv

You getting double teamed here Fluffy, like a 3sum going on.....don't even bother arguing against this.....there's no point neither will move from their viewpoints on this."

Very true!

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"I see it simply as a reflection of what the anonymous online world is.

Generally speaking, people we actually meet and know in everyday life are far easier to communicate with.

That doesn't reflect my experience. Women I meet in real life are the same flakey.

Ever asked yourself what the common denominator is

Right. Blame me, when they make excuses. Women who get r aped, are also at fault for wearing sexy clothing, right? Right?

Dunno why you’ve brought that into it. Totally irrelevant. My point is if the women you meet are ‘flakey’ maybe it’s just you

Yeah, but it's not just me. Don't throw common sense out of the window just because you don't want to admit, that may women do that. Like, drop the act. Seriously. There is no need to pretend that way, we all know that it's a common thing and has nothing to do with me individually.

Stop pretending. Thanks.

Are you okay Caesar? No one’s pretending anything? I’m actually a woman so I can actually give a woman’s perspective… I’d make excuses to avoid abuse. I’d make excuses if I didn’t want to do something but was worried about how it would be received. If every woman you interact with becomes ‘flakey’ I think it’s a fair assumption that you are the problem. That’s not pretending, that’s evidence-based reporting is it not? Straight from the camels mouth, no? "

It's literally not evidence.

And yes, you are pretending that it's only women doing that to me, which is not true.

You also only know your own perspective, and you can't speak for other women. All you do right now is fake things to back your own narrative up.

Many women are flaky, but not just to me. That's where the issue is with what you say, and I know you'd just have the best day of your life if you could somehow make it irrefutable that I am just an asshole, and that women in general are not like depicted here. Unfortunately, that won't happen because it's simply not true. You know it, I know it.

Women give BS excuses last minute a lot, to many different men, even men they are interested in sometimes. It's just a very common thing and it's more about the woman than the man.

You admitted it yourself, that you do it. Of course, in your narrative all men are evil, but you did admit it. Now, just because you say "I want to avoid abuse" doesn't mean you actually do it because of that. There are a plethora of possible reasons for why you just start making up things last minute before a meet.

You maybe never even planned to actually go out, you just liked to play games.

Or you made plans and then just couldn't be arsed to commit to it.

Or you were too nervous to go. Weak knees and such.

Women do it all the time to all sorts of men, it's not a me issue, it's a them issue.

And generally speaking: If they flake once, don't give them a second chance. Never worth it.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"

Or you made plans and then just couldn't be arsed to commit to it.

Or you were too nervous to go. Weak knees and such.

Women do it all the time to all sorts of men, it's not a me issue, it's a them issue.

"

So, I'm going to interject here, call me a white Knight as much as you like I don't give two fucks, but drivel is drivel.

She arranged to meet me for a social, she turned up on time in fact early. So that kinda disproves your point totally. About never intending to meet

She's has a valid pount, if women as you describe are being 'flaky' with you and this a reoccurring pattern or theme. Does it not stand to reason there is a reason for this, that possibly your presenting something to them (I know you are with the narrative you consistently display) that raises red flags for them. And are reticent to meet you. Btw keep it first person no one else needs to be brought into this. But it can't possibly be your fault can it, it has to people, places or things fault. God forbid that you may actually be the problem, or how you present the problem. That's not a possibility is it.

Women and men only have the evidence that they are shown to make a decision. If there's anything untoward, then it's there freewill and perogative to be 'flaky'. Let's have it right nobody owes anybody anything.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I think your attitude and tone are out of order.

YOU no one else gets YOU in the company of people who let you down so YOU decide that it's time to take on a whole gender and tell them how they should behave.

Own your own behaviour and take responsibility for it.

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"

Or you made plans and then just couldn't be arsed to commit to it.

Or you were too nervous to go. Weak knees and such.

Women do it all the time to all sorts of men, it's not a me issue, it's a them issue.

So, I'm going to interject here, call me a white Knight as much as you like I don't give two fucks, but drivel is drivel.

She arranged to meet me for a social, she turned up on time in fact early. So that kinda disproves your point totally. About never intending to meet

She's has a valid pount, if women as you describe are being 'flaky' with you and this a reoccurring pattern or theme. Does it not stand to reason there is a reason for this, that possibly your presenting something to them (I know you are with the narrative you consistently display) that raises red flags for them. And are reticent to meet you. Btw keep it first person no one else needs to be brought into this. But it can't possibly be your fault can it, it has to people, places or things fault. God forbid that you may actually be the problem, or how you present the problem. That's not a possibility is it.

Women and men only have the evidence that they are shown to make a decision. If there's anything untoward, then it's there freewill and perogative to be 'flaky'. Let's have it right nobody owes anybody anything.

"

Right. Because I am the only guy in the world women flake on.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"

Or you made plans and then just couldn't be arsed to commit to it.

Or you were too nervous to go. Weak knees and such.

Women do it all the time to all sorts of men, it's not a me issue, it's a them issue.

So, I'm going to interject here, call me a white Knight as much as you like I don't give two fucks, but drivel is drivel.

She arranged to meet me for a social, she turned up on time in fact early. So that kinda disproves your point totally. About never intending to meet

She's has a valid pount, if women as you describe are being 'flaky' with you and this a reoccurring pattern or theme. Does it not stand to reason there is a reason for this, that possibly your presenting something to them (I know you are with the narrative you consistently display) that raises red flags for them. And are reticent to meet you. Btw keep it first person no one else needs to be brought into this. But it can't possibly be your fault can it, it has to people, places or things fault. God forbid that you may actually be the problem, or how you present the problem. That's not a possibility is it.

Women and men only have the evidence that they are shown to make a decision. If there's anything untoward, then it's there freewill and perogative to be 'flaky'. Let's have it right nobody owes anybody anything.

Right. Because I am the only guy in the world women flake on."

Don't speak for others, maybe look at yourself and what your doing, own your own shit, every women can't be flaky fir no reason.

can I say in 7 years of being on fab, I've not ever had a women cancel a meet or not turn up for a meet, only one to be rearranged, make of that what you will.

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"She arranged to meet me for a social, she turned up on time in fact early. So that kinda disproves your point totally. About never intending to meet

"

Btw if you had read my previous reply carefuly, you'd know it was one possible reason for women in general to flake, not even about her in general. But yeah, keep whiteknighting. You interject, because you defend someone you met before. Sort of expected, no?

Women flake very often, and not just me, and if a woman is flaky with you, you just delete their contact.

You can paint me the devil all you like for saying that, but it's the truth. Many women flake, you can't changet that, and you shouldn't try to meet her after that any more. Just delete and move on. No second chances, unless she makes all the effort to make up for it

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"

Or you made plans and then just couldn't be arsed to commit to it.

Or you were too nervous to go. Weak knees and such.

Women do it all the time to all sorts of men, it's not a me issue, it's a them issue.

So, I'm going to interject here, call me a white Knight as much as you like I don't give two fucks, but drivel is drivel.

She arranged to meet me for a social, she turned up on time in fact early. So that kinda disproves your point totally. About never intending to meet

She's has a valid pount, if women as you describe are being 'flaky' with you and this a reoccurring pattern or theme. Does it not stand to reason there is a reason for this, that possibly your presenting something to them (I know you are with the narrative you consistently display) that raises red flags for them. And are reticent to meet you. Btw keep it first person no one else needs to be brought into this. But it can't possibly be your fault can it, it has to people, places or things fault. God forbid that you may actually be the problem, or how you present the problem. That's not a possibility is it.

Women and men only have the evidence that they are shown to make a decision. If there's anything untoward, then it's there freewill and perogative to be 'flaky'. Let's have it right nobody owes anybody anything.

Right. Because I am the only guy in the world women flake on."

Carry on with the same rhetoric, I think it'll become more of a common reoccurrence for you.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"She arranged to meet me for a social, she turned up on time in fact early. So that kinda disproves your point totally. About never intending to meet

Btw if you had read my previous reply carefuly, you'd know it was one possible reason for women in general to flake, not even about her in general. But yeah, keep whiteknighting. You interject, because you defend someone you met before. Sort of expected, no?

Women flake very often, and not just me, and if a woman is flaky with you, you just delete their contact.

You can paint me the devil all you like for saying that, but it's the truth. Many women flake, you can't changet that, and you shouldn't try to meet her after that any more. Just delete and move on. No second chances, unless she makes all the effort to make up for it"

I'm not painting you as anything, im just giving you my perspective from observation.

I don't need to, you're doing a good enough job of painting yourself darkly.

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"

Or you made plans and then just couldn't be arsed to commit to it.

Or you were too nervous to go. Weak knees and such.

Women do it all the time to all sorts of men, it's not a me issue, it's a them issue.

So, I'm going to interject here, call me a white Knight as much as you like I don't give two fucks, but drivel is drivel.

She arranged to meet me for a social, she turned up on time in fact early. So that kinda disproves your point totally. About never intending to meet

She's has a valid pount, if women as you describe are being 'flaky' with you and this a reoccurring pattern or theme. Does it not stand to reason there is a reason for this, that possibly your presenting something to them (I know you are with the narrative you consistently display) that raises red flags for them. And are reticent to meet you. Btw keep it first person no one else needs to be brought into this. But it can't possibly be your fault can it, it has to people, places or things fault. God forbid that you may actually be the problem, or how you present the problem. That's not a possibility is it.

Women and men only have the evidence that they are shown to make a decision. If there's anything untoward, then it's there freewill and perogative to be 'flaky'. Let's have it right nobody owes anybody anything.

Right. Because I am the only guy in the world women flake on.

Don't speak for others, maybe look at yourself and what your doing, own your own shit, every women can't be flaky fir no reason.

can I say in 7 years of being on fab, I've not ever had a women cancel a meet or not turn up for a meet, only one to be rearranged, make of that what you will."

Not EVERY woman. Just many. I absolutely had dates and I had women not flake. Both happens. But flaking is simply not a rarity. And when it happens it's not for "no reason", but just personal reasons that have little to do with the person they're meeting. As I said: They prioritise other plans or just pretended to wanting to meet up.

Besides, I think it's bit hypocritical to say "Don't speak for others based only on your own experience" and then you take your own experience as evidence. Good one

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By *rimson_RoseWoman  over a year ago

Tamworth


"Just do yourself a favour and stop being understanding. Women don't deserve a second chance, and it's not worth giving them. I did, thinking they'll come around but they just don't. And if they do, they are problems in the future.

Just need to keep getting out there and try try try until you find the rare ones, who don't cancel on dates with flimsy excuses. But don't get your hopes up 99,9% of them will always have a last minute emergency.

The ones who are really interested but something happened for real (no excuse), they will try to reschedule. And not just "sometime" but they offer actual alternatives like "let's do this again on tuesday" or something. But that basically never happens.

Don't respond. They know what they are doing, and there is no way you should play their games, understanding or angry or whatever. You only win, if you don't play.

Ignore their excuses, delete the chat entirely (if you keep reading it, you might send something stupid). If she actually comes around, she will message you again. (but again: This is not going to happen, so stop hoping. THis is not a method to change her mind, but a method for YOURSELF on how to deal with it and get to terms with it)

Just date other women, if you have none, do your best to find some, and if you really still don't find anyone, get a nice fleshlight with a shower mount. Flimsy women are about as good as a nice, wet artificial shower fuck "

If 99.9 % of them make excuses, there would be no meets involving single women.

This isn’t a gender thing. It’s a flaky people thing.

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"She arranged to meet me for a social, she turned up on time in fact early. So that kinda disproves your point totally. About never intending to meet

Btw if you had read my previous reply carefuly, you'd know it was one possible reason for women in general to flake, not even about her in general. But yeah, keep whiteknighting. You interject, because you defend someone you met before. Sort of expected, no?

Women flake very often, and not just me, and if a woman is flaky with you, you just delete their contact.

You can paint me the devil all you like for saying that, but it's the truth. Many women flake, you can't changet that, and you shouldn't try to meet her after that any more. Just delete and move on. No second chances, unless she makes all the effort to make up for it

I'm not painting you as anything, im just giving you my perspective from observation.

I don't need to, you're doing a good enough job of painting yourself darkly."

Oh yes you are. Gaslighting much?

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"Just do yourself a favour and stop being understanding. Women don't deserve a second chance, and it's not worth giving them. I did, thinking they'll come around but they just don't. And if they do, they are problems in the future.

Just need to keep getting out there and try try try until you find the rare ones, who don't cancel on dates with flimsy excuses. But don't get your hopes up 99,9% of them will always have a last minute emergency.

The ones who are really interested but something happened for real (no excuse), they will try to reschedule. And not just "sometime" but they offer actual alternatives like "let's do this again on tuesday" or something. But that basically never happens.

Don't respond. They know what they are doing, and there is no way you should play their games, understanding or angry or whatever. You only win, if you don't play.

Ignore their excuses, delete the chat entirely (if you keep reading it, you might send something stupid). If she actually comes around, she will message you again. (but again: This is not going to happen, so stop hoping. THis is not a method to change her mind, but a method for YOURSELF on how to deal with it and get to terms with it)

Just date other women, if you have none, do your best to find some, and if you really still don't find anyone, get a nice fleshlight with a shower mount. Flimsy women are about as good as a nice, wet artificial shower fuck

If 99.9 % of them make excuses, there would be no meets involving single women.

This isn’t a gender thing. It’s a flaky people thing. "

Well, the 0,1%. Besides, it's exaggerated obviously. It reads "very often"

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By *ansoffateMan  over a year ago

Sagittarius A


"

Now, just because you say "I want to avoid abuse" doesn't mean you actually do it because of that. There are a plethora of possible reasons for why you just start making up things last minute before a meet.

"

I am not White Knighting either, I am not defending fluffy. This is a personal point, I am making.

Re-read your statement: Are you respecting her autonomy of mind? It doesn't come across that way to me.

Because that's the reason I become avoidant and it is rooted in a fear of abusive relationships.

I am not saying you are abusive. I am saying that I as a man would and have pulled away from women who do not respect my autonomy of mind.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"

Btw if you had read my previous reply carefuly, you'd know it was one possible reason for women in general to flake, not even about her in general. But yeah, keep whiteknighting. You interject, because you defend someone you met before. Sort of expected, no?

"

I'll defend a friend be it male or female, when I see him or her, but especially her, being effectively attacked on two fronts. By two males, with messed up fucked up archaic beliefs systems, who take no accountability or responsibility for the things that go one in their lives, but of course the fragile little shallow male pride and sheer arrogance will, label that as white Knighting, no its called being a friend, and a semi decent human being, who doesn't agree with what he's witnessing happen, to said friend.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman  over a year ago

Tamworth


"Just do yourself a favour and stop being understanding. Women don't deserve a second chance, and it's not worth giving them. I did, thinking they'll come around but they just don't. And if they do, they are problems in the future.

Just need to keep getting out there and try try try until you find the rare ones, who don't cancel on dates with flimsy excuses. But don't get your hopes up 99,9% of them will always have a last minute emergency.

The ones who are really interested but something happened for real (no excuse), they will try to reschedule. And not just "sometime" but they offer actual alternatives like "let's do this again on tuesday" or something. But that basically never happens.

Don't respond. They know what they are doing, and there is no way you should play their games, understanding or angry or whatever. You only win, if you don't play.

Ignore their excuses, delete the chat entirely (if you keep reading it, you might send something stupid). If she actually comes around, she will message you again. (but again: This is not going to happen, so stop hoping. THis is not a method to change her mind, but a method for YOURSELF on how to deal with it and get to terms with it)

Just date other women, if you have none, do your best to find some, and if you really still don't find anyone, get a nice fleshlight with a shower mount. Flimsy women are about as good as a nice, wet artificial shower fuck

If 99.9 % of them make excuses, there would be no meets involving single women.

This isn’t a gender thing. It’s a flaky people thing.

Well, the 0,1%. Besides, it's exaggerated obviously. It reads "very often""

Your posts make out as if the vast majority of women are more likely to flake than to meet. But just a look down the veris of the women posting on this thread or the others who meet them will disprove that.

Yes, some women will. As do some men and some couples.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wow, just wow. Some of the responses on here are astounding. If one of the popular women of the forum posted this they would be unindated with messages of support and cries of "it's his loss"

Is it any wonder the male suicide rate is so alarming high"

Yep.... this

OP, if you wanna rant just rant.... we hear you

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By *ensualplay69Man  over a year ago

slough

Really lol she lied because she was in a relationship. Question is, if she said she had a drinking problem and ptsd what was you expecting from her after she told you that? I know it was a lie but you didn't know that at the time and still persisted

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By *ansoffateMan  over a year ago

Sagittarius A


"Really lol she lied because she was in a relationship. Question is, if she said she had a drinking problem and ptsd what was you expecting from her after she told you that? I know it was a lie but you didn't know that at the time and still persisted "

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"

Btw if you had read my previous reply carefuly, you'd know it was one possible reason for women in general to flake, not even about her in general. But yeah, keep whiteknighting. You interject, because you defend someone you met before. Sort of expected, no?

I'll defend a friend be it male or female, when I see him or her, but especially her, being effectively attacked on two fronts. By two males, with messed up fucked up archaic beliefs systems, who take no accountability or responsibility for the things that go one in their lives, but of course the fragile little shallow male pride and sheer arrogance will, label that as white Knighting, no its called being a friend, and a semi decent human being, who doesn't agree with what he's witnessing happen, to said friend. "

Oh bollocks to that, mate. I said nothing wrong and you just feel like I am attacking her personally, which I never did. You are just here signalling your virtues. Really.

I was talking general, you make it all about me personally. Then you get upset that I keep it general.

Women flake. They do. Period. And when they do, you can see my advice above. If you like or not, if you cry or you don't - that's what it is.

Women flake, and it's not overly rare.

You are just on a crusade against me, so you'll get laid again. Imagine, if you had the gall to agree with me about deleting the number of a flaky woman. Oh boy, you'd never get to meet her again.

Maybe she messaged you in private because she seems to have stopped responding a while ago....

Either way. Women sometimes give me BS last minute and don't show up, and sometimes they show up. The thing I said, that riled you up so much, was that I see no difference between the flake rate from tinder (or similar) and real life. I said "that doesn't reflect my experience". But you probably already forgot about that, if you even read it at all. You seem preoccuppied with just arguing me personally into ground. It's your mission tonight, innit?

I said lots of thing here that riled you all up, but none are wrong.

Women flake often. If they do, you shouldn't give them a second chance. Delete the chat, don't reply if they message you unless they really mean it (no "sometimes" etc).

I just think the main issue is, that you take it as an attack against all women - which it is not.

You need to take 5 minutes and throw a chill pill, really. You are all so emotional about this, hence why you get so personal.

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London


"Just do yourself a favour and stop being understanding. Women don't deserve a second chance, and it's not worth giving them. I did, thinking they'll come around but they just don't. And if they do, they are problems in the future.

Just need to keep getting out there and try try try until you find the rare ones, who don't cancel on dates with flimsy excuses. But don't get your hopes up 99,9% of them will always have a last minute emergency.

The ones who are really interested but something happened for real (no excuse), they will try to reschedule. And not just "sometime" but they offer actual alternatives like "let's do this again on tuesday" or something. But that basically never happens.

Don't respond. They know what they are doing, and there is no way you should play their games, understanding or angry or whatever. You only win, if you don't play.

Ignore their excuses, delete the chat entirely (if you keep reading it, you might send something stupid). If she actually comes around, she will message you again. (but again: This is not going to happen, so stop hoping. THis is not a method to change her mind, but a method for YOURSELF on how to deal with it and get to terms with it)

Just date other women, if you have none, do your best to find some, and if you really still don't find anyone, get a nice fleshlight with a shower mount. Flimsy women are about as good as a nice, wet artificial shower fuck

If 99.9 % of them make excuses, there would be no meets involving single women.

This isn’t a gender thing. It’s a flaky people thing.

Well, the 0,1%. Besides, it's exaggerated obviously. It reads "very often"

Your posts make out as if the vast majority of women are more likely to flake than to meet. But just a look down the veris of the women posting on this thread or the others who meet them will disprove that.

Yes, some women will. As do some men and some couples. "

I don't know really about majority or not, it comes and goes in phases. But flaking is something that happens a lot. To me, to others.

Men probably do it, too, dunno because I don't date them, but we are talking about the women here. If they flake, and it will happen more than just once in your lifetime as a man, you just need to forget this woman, see the red flag and focus on others.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

For me, if there’s no flow of conversation I’d have abandoned it. No reply is no interest. Also no offence to those with PTSD or any other health issue. I’d also have walked away when there was also no connection. But hey, that’s only my opinion and confess did not read the whole thread only your OP

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"

Btw if you had read my previous reply carefuly, you'd know it was one possible reason for women in general to flake, not even about her in general. But yeah, keep whiteknighting. You interject, because you defend someone you met before. Sort of expected, no?

I'll defend a friend be it male or female, when I see him or her, but especially her, being effectively attacked on two fronts. By two males, with messed up fucked up archaic beliefs systems, who take no accountability or responsibility for the things that go one in their lives, but of course the fragile little shallow male pride and sheer arrogance will, label that as white Knighting, no its called being a friend, and a semi decent human being, who doesn't agree with what he's witnessing happen, to said friend.

Oh bollocks to that, mate. I said nothing wrong and you just feel like I am attacking her personally, which I never did. You are just here signalling your virtues. Really.

I was talking general, you make it all about me personally. Then you get upset that I keep it general.

Women flake. They do. Period. And when they do, you can see my advice above. If you like or not, if you cry or you don't - that's what it is.

Women flake, and it's not overly rare.

You are just on a crusade against me, so you'll get laid again. Imagine, if you had the gall to agree with me about deleting the number of a flaky woman. Oh boy, you'd never get to meet her again.

Maybe she messaged you in private because she seems to have stopped responding a while ago....

Either way. Women sometimes give me BS last minute and don't show up, and sometimes they show up. The thing I said, that riled you up so much, was that I see no difference between the flake rate from tinder (or similar) and real life. I said "that doesn't reflect my experience". But you probably already forgot about that, if you even read it at all. You seem preoccuppied with just arguing me personally into ground. It's your mission tonight, innit?

I said lots of thing here that riled you all up, but none are wrong.

Women flake often. If they do, you shouldn't give them a second chance. Delete the chat, don't reply if they message you unless they really mean it (no "sometimes" etc).

I just think the main issue is, that you take it as an attack against all women - which it is not.

You need to take 5 minutes and throw a chill pill, really. You are all so emotional about this, hence why you get so personal."

You chat so much shit and don't even realise that the problem isint it's women m, thr problem lies within you thought processes about women,

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By *rimson_RoseWoman  over a year ago

Tamworth


" I don't know really about majority or not, it comes and goes in phases. But flaking is something that happens a lot. To me, to others.

Men probably do it, too, dunno because I don't date them, but we are talking about the women here. If they flake, and it will happen more than just once in your lifetime as a man, you just need to forget this woman, see the red flag and focus on others.

"

So genuine question then. Is your advice to women who get a flaky man, the same? Ditch them, no more contact, move on?

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