FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > ok so this is the crack......
ok so this is the crack......
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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rite i've been having regular meets with a local guy, and he is lovely, i've had a lot 1st with him and the other day he told me he had a date!!! as in a potential gf date which i was gutted about however i think i hid my feelings well, so i now know things between us will always be for sex and nothing more, so last night a guy got back in touch with me that i haven't spoke to in ages and i've told my regular about it and he's read my message and not replied???? whats all that about??? do i assume he doesnt like the fact im so happy to have the other back in my life?? or is it that he really doesnt care??? advice please guys xx
p.s i know my grammer and spelling are crap xx  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I would suggest an honest and open conversation about where you stand might do both of you the world of good. Relationships in my experience are often complicated because one or both parties make assumptions about the other person and their motives... An honest adult to adult talk might help? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"rite i've been having regular meets with a local guy, and he is lovely, i've had a lot 1st with him and the other day he told me he had a date!!! as in a potential gf date which i was gutted about however i think i hid my feelings well, so i now know things between us will always be for sex and nothing more, so last night a guy got back in touch with me that i haven't spoke to in ages and i've told my regular about it and he's read my message and not replied???? whats all that about??? do i assume he doesnt like the fact im so happy to have the other back in my life?? or is it that he really doesnt care??? advice please guys xx
p.s i know my grammer and spelling are crap xx "
Erm unfortunately men don't like to talk, I have the same issue with my fb, tells me he enjoys my company but can't commit... Yet gets jealous of normal dates or if he knows I have a private meet... So all I can say is good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"why did you tell him? if he is meeting other women for dates i would assume he just sees you as nsa otherwise he would be asking you on a date"
he asked what my status was all about, so i told him, never thought of it like that but its a very fair and vaild point thanx xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think you needed to tell him ut at least you have been honest.
If he wanted more he would say so,and he may be one of these guys that wants to have his cake and eat it,wants to be dating but have regular sex also. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So one of your regular meets is having a normal vanilla date, and you had to hide your feelings?
You have told your regular meet that your going to meet other meets, and he hasn't answered your messages!
Reckon he just sees you as a NSA regular meet, why would he want to know that your meeting others? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would suggest an honest and open conversation about where you stand might do both of you the world of good. Relationships in my experience are often complicated because one or both parties make assumptions about the other person and their motives... An honest adult to adult talk might help? "
Agreed but if he won't talk to you then I suggest you either accept it as it is or just move on with your life.
 |
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I could be completely off the mark here and I appologise in advance if I am .. however how I read this is that you engaged, as alot of us do, on this site with the intention of having NSA sex, however, one particular guy has connected in a way with you that you had never anticipated happening .. you feel a fondness towards him that you hadnt anticipated happening either and wonder if he feels the same ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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i know i've kinda gotten attached to this guy but i've learnt to suppress those feelings, esp now as i know hes looking for dates etc
i think you guys are right and a little adult chat cant hurt xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I could be completely off the mark here and I appologise in advance if I am .. however how I read this is that you engaged, as alot of us do, on this site with the intention of having NSA sex, however, one particular guy has connected in a way with you that you had never anticipated happening .. you feel a fondness towards him that you hadnt anticipated happening either and wonder if he feels the same ?"
yeah xx |
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I guess as a single its a bit harder but we always take every situation here as NSA and make sure there is no emotional attachment to anyone we play with.
Its a big potential mistake with a site like this.
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I would suggest an honest and open conversation about where you stand might do both of you the world of good. Relationships in my experience are often complicated because one or both parties make assumptions about the other person and their motives... An honest adult to adult talk might help?
Agreed but if he won't talk to you then I suggest you either accept it as it is or just move on with your life.
"
Absolutely - you can only ever invite another person to talk/listen - if they are not ready or able then that is what you have to accept and move on.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I guess as a single its a bit harder but we always take every situation here as NSA and make sure there is no emotional attachment to anyone we play with.
Its a big potential mistake with a site like this.
"
yeah i know what you mean and wasn't my intention for this to happen and its the only guy i've met its happened with xx |
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"I could be completely off the mark here and I appologise in advance if I am .. however how I read this is that you engaged, as alot of us do, on this site with the intention of having NSA sex, however, one particular guy has connected in a way with you that you had never anticipated happening .. you feel a fondness towards him that you hadnt anticipated happening either and wonder if he feels the same ?"
Totally agree, the same happened with me, I'm married, but had very regular meets with a guy off here, we got very close, but he got very jealous if I had other meets or went to clubs.
He's now left the site, after all what happened. We went into it with no expectations, but you can't help feelings, it's hard when it takes you by surprise x |
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i dont want to appear to come across as insensitive but i just had a peek at your profile and you got 4 veris in the last two months so you must have had 4 different dates yourself how does your regular guy think about that |
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"rite i've been having regular meets with a local guy, and he is lovely, i've had a lot 1st with him and the other day he told me he had a date!!! as in a potential gf date which i was gutted about however i think i hid my feelings well, so i now know things between us will always be for sex and nothing more, so last night a guy got back in touch with me that i haven't spoke to in ages and i've told my regular about it and he's read my message and not replied???? whats all that about??? do i assume he doesnt like the fact im so happy to have the other back in my life?? or is it that he really doesnt care??? advice please guys xx
p.s i know my grammer and spelling are crap xx "
He met you on NSA terms. He doesn't see you as GF material. |
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Maybe the guy doesn't know what to say. Or has a conflict of emotions. Or doesn't think or know you like him more than just NSA sex....so I think you will have to talk to him. Don't get jealous though or sad for too long if it turns out not the way you wanted. Bear in mind men on the whole are not too good at talking things through as well as you might be.  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"rite i've been having regular meets with a local guy, and he is lovely, i've had a lot 1st with him and the other day he told me he had a date!!! as in a potential gf date which i was gutted about however i think i hid my feelings well, so i now know things between us will always be for sex and nothing more, so last night a guy got back in touch with me that i haven't spoke to in ages and i've told my regular about it and he's read my message and not replied???? whats all that about??? do i assume he doesnt like the fact im so happy to have the other back in my life?? or is it that he really doesnt care??? advice please guys xx
p.s i know my grammer and spelling are crap xx
He met you on NSA terms. He doesn't see you as GF material. "
That was my initial impression as well. Just thought it might be an idea to actually ask him so it is on both their radar as NSA? |
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its like politics this .. you set off on the road saying that you want NSA sex .. however a few years down the line and you find that you have an affinity with someone that you met for NSA sex .. people will hang you out to dry for changing your mind but people do change and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"its like politics this .. you set off on the road saying that you want NSA sex .. however a few years down the line and you find that you have an affinity with someone that you met for NSA sex .. people will hang you out to dry for changing your mind but people do change and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion "
Absolutely agree...even if you set out with one goal, life, people, emotions are not as simple as that. People also have a right to change, to change their mind - of course sometimes that means disappointment but yes, I agree! |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
think youre doing it right - you know one guy who has done lots with you. Another old friend who want nothing more than nsa .. your current is looking around so why shouldnt you.
Unless you want a relationship with the new guy (and he does you) then I wouldnt let it get to you.
Its a case of he can look but you cant?? doesnt sound right that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"think youre doing it right - you know one guy who has done lots with you. Another old friend who want nothing more than nsa .. your current is looking around so why shouldnt you.
Unless you want a relationship with the new guy (and he does you) then I wouldnt let it get to you.
Its a case of he can look but you cant?? doesnt sound right that"
well thats the feeling im getting to be honest, double standards not fair is it xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Relationships in my experience are often complicated because one or both parties make assumptions about the other person and their motives... An honest adult to adult talk might help? "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The guy is looking for a relationship and it does seem like he doesn't see you as a girlfriend, but its understandable that you will feel a little sensitive over this, especially if you've met regularly, or maybe gone out to clubs etc. A friendship develops, regardless of romantic feelings and if the guy meets someone, that friendship will probably also end. It is sad when people leave our lives, in whatever circumstances. Many of us are not hard hearted.
It seems like you know the answers, it takes a little while for the total acceptance to kick in. I would say don't think of trying to make the guy jealous by putting up statuses about other men or if you've decided on a meet etc, I'm not suggesting you are, but that's when things can potentially get a little bitchy and that will be more hurtful in the end.
Nows the time to just gently and slowly move on, talk to more people, don't be rash and meet guys looking for a replacement, try and come to terms with the ending of such a regular meet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i know i've kinda gotten attached to this guy but i've learnt to suppress those feelings, esp now as i know hes looking for dates etc
i think you guys are right and a little adult chat cant hurt xx"
But you haven't suppressed them have you. You told him about your old fb to make him jealous and trigger a response from him, but he hasn't said anything and that's pissed you off even more. |
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I thought I understood until I looked at your profile.
He may be a regular meet but you have by NO means been exclusive to him as your SIX verifications in two months testify.
Nothing wrong with ANY of that.
BUT
Trying to say he is NOW not happy with you meeting just doesn't ring true.
I really think the boot is on the other foot and YOU don't like HIM meeting someone else.
Nothing wrong with that either , feelings happen.
If you want him exclusively to yourself you are going to have to let him know. |
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"i know i've kinda gotten attached to this guy but i've learnt to suppress those feelings, esp now as i know hes looking for dates etc
i think you guys are right and a little adult chat cant hurt xx
But you haven't suppressed them have you. You told him about your old fb to make him jealous and trigger a response from him, but he hasn't said anything and that's pissed you off even more."
This |
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"i know i've kinda gotten attached to this guy but i've learnt to suppress those feelings, esp now as i know hes looking for dates etc
i think you guys are right and a little adult chat cant hurt xx
But you haven't suppressed them have you. You told him about your old fb to make him jealous and trigger a response from him, but he hasn't said anything and that's pissed you off even more."
I wish you'd stop wearing a womans body I never know it's you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i know i've kinda gotten attached to this guy but i've learnt to suppress those feelings, esp now as i know hes looking for dates etc
i think you guys are right and a little adult chat cant hurt xx
But you haven't suppressed them have you. You told him about your old fb to make him jealous and trigger a response from him, but he hasn't said anything and that's pissed you off even more.
I wish you'd stop wearing a womans body I never know it's you."
I put her photo up cos I don't really wanna look at my own cock. I see the bloody thing 10 times a day when I go for a piss.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Confused of Devon here....
The Op seems to have enjoyed several recent meets, but the regular guy is all of a sudden unhappy about the latest one?"
Think the latest one is a date and not a meet?.....confused of Dundee  |
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"Confused of Devon here....
The Op seems to have enjoyed several recent meets, but the regular guy is all of a sudden unhappy about the latest one?"
Dear Confused,
I said that too. Less succinctly as is my wont but I sedded it.
Yours recoveringly,
Granny of Liverpool |
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"Confused of Devon here....
The Op seems to have enjoyed several recent meets, but the regular guy is all of a sudden unhappy about the latest one?
Dear Confused,
I said that too. Less succinctly as is my wont but I sedded it.
Yours recoveringly,
Granny of Liverpool"
Dear recovering ill person....I rarely read the replies of the riff raff before posting.... |
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"Confused of Devon here....
The Op seems to have enjoyed several recent meets, but the regular guy is all of a sudden unhappy about the latest one?
Think the latest one is a date and not a meet?.....confused of Dundee "
Dear Dundee
( nice cherries and nuts ) xx |
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"Confused of Devon here....
The Op seems to have enjoyed several recent meets, but the regular guy is all of a sudden unhappy about the latest one?
Dear Confused,
I said that too. Less succinctly as is my wont but I sedded it.
Yours recoveringly,
Granny of Liverpool
Dear recovering ill person....I rarely read the replies of the riff raff before posting.... "
Dear Confused,
Please be aware that laughing loudly is not advisable for invalids however it was unavoidable under these circumstances.
Regards Granny RiffRaff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"rite i've been having regular meets with a local guy, and he is lovely, i've had a lot 1st with him and the other day he told me he had a date!!! as in a potential gf date which i was gutted about however i think i hid my feelings well, so i now know things between us will always be for sex and nothing more, so last night a guy got back in touch with me that i haven't spoke to in ages and i've told my regular about it and he's read my message and not replied???? whats all that about??? do i assume he doesnt like the fact im so happy to have the other back in my life?? or is it that he really doesnt care??? advice please guys xx
p.s i know my grammer and spelling are crap xx "
This is the problem with fbs. You get to the point where feelings develop and you get jealous |
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