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Innocent explanations for sex toys

By *ulieAndBeef OP Couple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I've recently placed some online orders that would be very hard to explain if the kids accidentally opened the parcels. Give me your best innocent explanation for a sex toy or accessory...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They're for your nan but she's not in...

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

if it's a penguin shaped satifyer, then call it an Xmas decoration.

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By *hatBeardedChapMan over a year ago

Birmingham

Oh it's a Prank i'm playing on aunt Liz..i'm going to shuv it in her suitcase so when she gets buzzed at airport she'll have to explain the 2ft shlong packed in her luggage

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Vibrator = microphone

I may or may not have had to use this excuse before

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

My dildo is a bracelet holder.

Honest.

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By *eyond PurityCouple over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Wand is just a back and foot massager

Cock rings are curtain pole holders

Big fuck off tentacle is a rubber plant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a melon baller

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By *ulieAndBeef OP Couple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Arriving soon are...

A coat hook, a cake icing nozzle and stuff to fix a squeaky door!

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"My dildo is a bracelet holder.

Honest."

How thick is it?

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By *tanley FunseekerMan over a year ago

stanley

It’s a new flask

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By *ittlebirdWoman over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Arriving soon are...

A coat hook, a cake icing nozzle and stuff to fix a squeaky door!

** I came up with the squeaky door excuse. I’m so proud

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By *tanley FunseekerMan over a year ago

stanley

"Arriving soon are...

A coat hook, a cake icing nozzle and stuff to fix a squeaky door!

** I came up with the squeaky door excuse. I’m so proud

WDfoofie?

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By *ittlebirdWoman over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Arriving soon are...

A coat hook, a cake icing nozzle and stuff to fix a squeaky door!

** I came up with the squeaky door excuse. I’m so proud

WDfoofie?"

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

"Arriving soon are...

A coat hook, a cake icing nozzle and stuff to fix a squeaky door!

** I came up with the squeaky door excuse. I’m so proud

Just wondering is hook for a big coat .

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By *iniskirtCouple over a year ago

Paisley

Eh that’s not ours, must be someone playing a prank

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

It for getting earwax out

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By *ookie46Woman over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Clit suction toy was a mini back massager

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

"Clit suction toy was a mini back massager "

I was talking about the clit sucker thing maya got one .

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Star Wars light sabre “with realistic humming sound”

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Dildos are great for keeping spectacles cushioned from knocks and damage, so are ideal packing materials, to prevent damage. Great for sunglasses as well as reading specs. Obviously it's important to fully protect your stuff, so maximum dildos for full care.

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