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Patronising Single men
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Single guys do you ever find some of the advice/posts on what to do or how a single guy should behave on here patronising or is all just good advice?
"
I do find some of the advice women give a little patronising because they’ve never been in a guys shoes and have no idea what it’s like but many feel like they’re the leading experts
Advice like “just be nice and respectful” as if every guy alive hasn’t tried that and had no success
As I say, if you want to know how to catch a fish, don’t ask the fish, ask the fishermen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it’s more men that are asking for advice and therefore open themselves up for “critique”
I have never seen woman asking for advice.
I have seen couples asking for advice.
There is some genuinely good advice and there is some not so good advice. What they do with it is up to them.
What works for one does not work for all |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"As I say, if you want to know how to catch a fish, don’t ask the fish, ask the fishermen "
Oh I like this!
But surely the fish are in the best position to say what bait is the most likely to hook them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I say, if you want to know how to catch a fish, don’t ask the fish, ask the fishermen
Oh I like this!
But surely the fish are in the best position to say what bait is the most likely to hook them? "
ha! So much this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I say, if you want to know how to catch a fish, don’t ask the fish, ask the fishermen
Oh I like this!
But surely the fish are in the best position to say what bait is the most likely to hook them? "
The fish are able to say what they think they like, or what society tells them they should like
The fishermen knows what works and what doesn’t by his success
That being said thought, it’s not all black and white. Some very aware women can give amazing advice, but I’ve found for the most part it’s not great |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I say, if you want to know how to catch a fish, don’t ask the fish, ask the fishermen
Oh I like this!
But surely the fish are in the best position to say what bait is the most likely to hook them?
The fish are able to say what they think they like, or what society tells them they should like
The fishermen knows what works and what doesn’t by his success
That being said thought, it’s not all black and white. Some very aware women can give amazing advice, but I’ve found for the most part it’s not great "
- are you a politician?!  |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"Single guys do you ever find some of the advice/posts on what to do or how a single guy should behave on here patronising or is all just good advice?
"
Not breakfast so far good advice based on experience. However it may not be applicable to all. |
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I've only ever seen advice threads for men and yet so many women and couples offering advice don't practice what they preach.
A lazy profile is a lazy profile regardless of who is behind it.
Disrespectful couples who are happy to send lists of demands to men complain about the response they get?
Women and couples will obviously get lots of messages and attention even with a blank profile but they can't very well complain about the quality of those messages if they haven't made much of an effort themselves.
Whinging and moaning on the forums isn't strictly a male thing and yet men are told they don't really have choice on here so they are expected to look passed the whiners and be grateful for any attention.
They are told to be themselves by the same people who then give them a list of instructions about how to run their profile and what to write or what pics to have. The irony is not lost on most.
I do find most of the advice patronising but then again I don't take any of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I say, if you want to know how to catch a fish, don’t ask the fish, ask the fishermen
Oh I like this!
But surely the fish are in the best position to say what bait is the most likely to hook them?
The fish are able to say what they think they like, or what society tells them they should like
The fishermen knows what works and what doesn’t by his success
That being said thought, it’s not all black and white. Some very aware women can give amazing advice, but I’ve found for the most part it’s not great - are you a politician?! "
Watch me play both sides
Men do it too. Ask a guy what he wants in a woman and he’ll list all the socially acceptable things he knows he’s meant to say. Funny, interesting, caring.
He’s not going to admit that he has very strict physical needs from even the funniest, most interesting and caring women around otherwise she won’t stand a chance. Society has taught him to hide those parts of his needs |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
I'm guessing you mean the
'i don't struggle' and the 'just go to clubs'
Either way they aren't wrong but just take it with a pinch of salt because they aren't for everyone. My one sex club experience wasn't bad, it just wasn't sexy in any shape or form |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I say, if you want to know how to catch a fish, don’t ask the fish, ask the fishermen
Oh I like this!
But surely the fish are in the best position to say what bait is the most likely to hook them?
The fish are able to say what they think they like, or what society tells them they should like
The fishermen knows what works and what doesn’t by his success
That being said thought, it’s not all black and white. Some very aware women can give amazing advice, but I’ve found for the most part it’s not great - are you a politician?!
Watch me play both sides
Men do it too. Ask a guy what he wants in a woman and he’ll list all the socially acceptable things he knows he’s meant to say. Funny, interesting, caring.
He’s not going to admit that he has very strict physical needs from even the funniest, most interesting and caring women around otherwise she won’t stand a chance. Society has taught him to hide those parts of his needs "
- agreed |
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I personally don’t as I understand that guys still get the basics of human interaction wrong and I want everyone to have a good experience and hopefully these few will listen to couples and single girls as they won’t listen to me !
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
Some genuinely mean well, others come across as very patronising.
I've never quite understood the need for them. If people had common sense and would interact with others as they do in normal social settings we might not be having this discussion. |
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"Some genuinely mean well, others come across as very patronising.
I've never quite understood the need for them. If people had common sense and would interact with others as they do in normal social settings we might not be having this discussion."
People don’t have common sense though |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Some genuinely mean well, others come across as very patronising.
I've never quite understood the need for them. If people had common sense and would interact with others as they do in normal social settings we might not be having this discussion.
People don’t have common sense though "
Hence the use of the word 'had' |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Patronising in a way yes but considering it is the target audience, feedback from them is important.
The way I have always seen it though, is that advice from one person won't always be good advice when approaching another person. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Personally I think that advice on how to meet people on here is completely pointless and undermines individualism.
Telling people how to write a profile just homogenises profiles, giving people guides how to approach others just makes those approaches disingenuous and false. If you have to tell someone to be kind and nice, then perhaps they’re not and shouldn’t be on here.
If someone can’t work out how to learn and find what works for them, then that’s on them. |
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"Single guys do you ever find some of the advice/posts on what to do or how a single guy should behave on here patronising or is all just good advice?
"
Most of it comes across as patronising, and in all honesty, something that works for 1 may not work for another as we all like different things. Life would be boring if we were all the same |
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"As I say, if you want to know how to catch a fish, don’t ask the fish, ask the fishermen
Oh I like this!
But surely the fish are in the best position to say what bait is the most likely to hook them?
The fish are able to say what they think they like, or what society tells them they should like
The fishermen knows what works and what doesn’t by his success
That being said thought, it’s not all black and white. Some very aware women can give amazing advice, but I’ve found for the most part it’s not great "
Fish can’t talk ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Single guys do you ever find some of the advice/posts on what to do or how a single guy should behave on here patronising or is all just good advice?
"
At best its generic advice
At its worst it can be insulting |
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"The only one I don't really like is the "go to cubs" do they realise how much single guys get charged to go to clubs, and there's usually a waiting list to get in. "
I don’t find any of the comments ‘patronising’ but I do dislike the disdain for single men and then the expectation that single men sponsor their fun. But, unfortunately, that’s reality and enough single males pay and enable that to happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I say, if you want to know how to catch a fish, don’t ask the fish, ask the fishermen
Oh I like this!
But surely the fish are in the best position to say what bait is the most likely to hook them?
The fish are able to say what they think they like, or what society tells them they should like
The fishermen knows what works and what doesn’t by his success
That being said thought, it’s not all black and white. Some very aware women can give amazing advice, but I’ve found for the most part it’s not great
Fish can’t talk ??"
No reply is a reply, even to a fish
Have you tried sending it a well crafted first message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Single guys do you ever find some of the advice/posts on what to do or how a single guy should behave on here patronising or is all just good advice?
"
'patronising' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I think that advice on how to meet people on here is completely pointless and undermines individualism.
Telling people how to write a profile just homogenises profiles, giving people guides how to approach others just makes those approaches disingenuous and false. If you have to tell someone to be kind and nice, then perhaps they’re not and shouldn’t be on here.
If someone can’t work out how to learn and find what works for them, then that’s on them. "
100% |
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