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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A year ago. I arranged a social with a lass on here. I was pleasantly surprised by how beautiful, intelligent and sexy she was. We had a few more social meets and she was pushing for a lot more! I was already to step up to the mark and was hit with some bad news.
In 2019 I was diagnosed with bladder cancer. The news crippled me. I have two young children and I did not take this well. Forward wind to 2022 just as I was seeing this woman I was told during my annual check up that they think it had returned. Like last time I fell into depression and severe anxiety.
What the above the above meant was I cut all immediate contact with the woman with no explanation. Not that the explanation would make up for just ditching her like that. I was bang out of order.
I feel extremely guilty and want to make amends. How do I approach this? Can I make amends?
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
Cheers. |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
Two parts: unless you have got your mental health under control, don’t even think about trying to get in her pants.
BUT.
A blunt straightforward. “I’m sorry I ghosted you. I got some bad news and I didn’t cope with it very well. You didn’t do anything wrong, I think you’re amazing, but I wasn’t in a good place at the time and I wasn’t able to give you the explanation I think I should have” will give her closure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having been on the other end of something similar, just be honest. Say you're sorry, tell her if she wants to hear it you can explain it all.
Then leave it with her.
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By *ullyMan
over a year ago
Near Clacton |
As you are only to blame for not keeping in touch, just make a simple apology, and short reasonwhy. She either respond in a positive manner and you can then take matters further, or at worst she will say she's not interested any more. People do have options in life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just be honest, she will probably appreciate the clarity of the situation but might be reluctant to start things up again which is understandable. As long as you are only looking to explain and nothing more, then reach out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Two parts: unless you have got your mental health under control, don’t even think about trying to get in her pants.
BUT.
A blunt straightforward. “I’m sorry I ghosted you. I got some bad news and I didn’t cope with it very well. You didn’t do anything wrong, I think you’re amazing, but I wasn’t in a good place at the time and I wasn’t able to give you the explanation I think I should have” will give her closure. "
Thank you. My mental health is ok now. This time round the NHS was brilliant with me. I'm not looking for sex from here. I just really want to say sorry and let her know I really mean it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As you are only to blame for not keeping in touch, just make a simple apology, and short reasonwhy. She either respond in a positive manner and you can then take matters further, or at worst she will say she's not interested any more. People do have options in life."
Thanks. I'm not looking to start up anything sexual with her. I just really want her know that I am sorry. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just be honest, she will probably appreciate the clarity of the situation but might be reluctant to start things up again which is understandable. As long as you are only looking to explain and nothing more, then reach out."
I want to explain but I don't want it to come off as an excuse. I have said to a few others here that I'm not not looking for anything sexual out of this. I just want her to know I am genuinely sorry for ghosting her out of the blue. |
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Playing devils advocate.
If you don’t want to reconnect and have sex, why do you think you should contact her? If I’d connected with someone and they ghosted me and then got back in touch saying “hi, sorry about that, I’m good now, not interested in fucking you but thought I’d say sorry for being quiet whilst I had cancer” I think I’d be a bit grumpy. (Not hating on you at all, just giving a different view point) great. Great news on your treatment this time x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Playing devils advocate.
If you don’t want to reconnect and have sex, why do you think you should contact her? If I’d connected with someone and they ghosted me and then got back in touch saying “hi, sorry about that, I’m good now, not interested in fucking you but thought I’d say sorry for being quiet whilst I had cancer” I think I’d be a bit grumpy. (Not hating on you at all, just giving a different view point) great. Great news on your treatment this time x "
Mainly because she is a good person I really got a long with. If anything else I could see her as a friend. I just feel guilty about how I acted and believe me, she is not the only person I have owed an apology to. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
If you really feel like you have to say sorry than do. But I wouldn't be expecting a lot from her in reply. I understand you were in a tough place and the news hit you hard but it was someone who thought they had the start of something special and you just stopped all communication with her.
I know if someone did that to me I would have no interest in why you did it after this long and I would definitely think that you had an ulterior motive for then getting in touch at this late stage,and wouldn't be interested in starting any communication again.
But that is just how I would react she may be really glad to hear from you.
Good luck with what you decide and I am glad you are in a better place now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi everyone. Thanks for all the advise. I sent the apology. She accepted it and there was no real need due to the amount of time that has passed but appreciated it all the same.
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