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Witchhunt
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By *ealMissShady OP Woman
over a year ago
St Albans/ Welsh Borders |
Just thinking randomly, which is dangerous I know for 10:19 on a Sunday...And I am curious to hear opinions.
When it comes to interactions whether it be Fab or real life do you allow other people's perceptions, judgements and opinions cloud your view of someone else?
Are you easily influenced by what they say about that someone and take it as fact or do you like to make up your own mind?
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"Are you easily influenced by what they say about that someone and take it as fact or do you like to make up your own mind?"
Depends who’s saying it. There are some people I trust to be right. Who I think are worth listening to. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Just thinking randomly, which is dangerous I know for 10:19 on a Sunday...And I am curious to hear opinions.
When it comes to interactions whether it be Fab or real life do you allow other people's perceptions, judgements and opinions cloud your view of someone else?
Are you easily influenced by what they say about that someone and take it as fact or do you like to make up your own mind?
"
No, never. Although been warned about people I must find it myself, even if ultimately turns out they were right.
The exception is what I call is my inner circle 3 people I’ve known decades but they would never speak negatively about anyone anyway , but I would listen to their advice normally
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
My own opinion only. Unless I'm unsure in some way, I'll look to others and their interactions and opinions of somebody.
Generally though I don't care if the masses think somebody is amazing or vile. If I like or dislike them, that's all that will be going on for me. The only two that have an effect of that outcome are the person and myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure all the shite that goes on in Telegram groups etc is totally true. Even the PM's that allege people did xyz. There's no reason for anyone to lie behind people's backs. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Just thinking randomly, which is dangerous I know for 10:19 on a Sunday...And I am curious to hear opinions.
When it comes to interactions whether it be Fab or real life do you allow other people's perceptions, judgements and opinions cloud your view of someone else?
Are you easily influenced by what they say about that someone and take it as fact or do you like to make up your own mind?
"
I try and make up my own mind. Someone's interactions with another person? Well it could change depending on their mood, the day. People are fickle things.
I try and not let it colour my interactions with someone - I prefer to go with how they are with me. What they show me. What I'll never do, and I think is really shitty, is weaponise gossip to hurt another. Like "oh I've heard that people think x, y and z about you". Off that fucks. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I listen to others views and opinions but look to why they hold them. Ultimately I form my own."
You would struggle to figure without a psychology degree . To some people fab is their world. Females gaslighting each other etc , it’s just BAU |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
On here I make my own mind up about people. People have their own agendas on here, some of which might be quite nefarious.
Off Fab, I might listen to someone who has experience of someone else, but I use that as guidance only. I also trust my gut instinct. |
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By *ealMissShady OP Woman
over a year ago
St Albans/ Welsh Borders |
"I'm sure all the shite that goes on in Telegram groups etc is totally true. Even the PM's that allege people did xyz. There's no reason for anyone to lie behind people's backs."
Have you see this for yourself or is that influenced something someone has told you? |
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By *ealMissShady OP Woman
over a year ago
St Albans/ Welsh Borders |
"On here I make my own mind up about people. People have their own agendas on here, some of which might be quite nefarious.
Off Fab, I might listen to someone who has experience of someone else, but I use that as guidance only. I also trust my gut instinct."
This is so true |
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By *ealMissShady OP Woman
over a year ago
St Albans/ Welsh Borders |
"I listen to others views and opinions but look to why they hold them. Ultimately I form my own.
You would struggle to figure without a psychology degree . To some people fab is their world. Females gaslighting each other etc , it’s just BAU "
I'm not sure even then we could figure it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sure all the shite that goes on in Telegram groups etc is totally true. Even the PM's that allege people did xyz. There's no reason for anyone to lie behind people's backs.
Have you see this for yourself or is that influenced something someone has told you?"
It was sarcasm.
I know for a fact that some people make up shit and lie to make other people look shit. |
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By *ealMissShady OP Woman
over a year ago
St Albans/ Welsh Borders |
"Just thinking randomly, which is dangerous I know for 10:19 on a Sunday...And I am curious to hear opinions.
When it comes to interactions whether it be Fab or real life do you allow other people's perceptions, judgements and opinions cloud your view of someone else?
Are you easily influenced by what they say about that someone and take it as fact or do you like to make up your own mind?
I try and make up my own mind. Someone's interactions with another person? Well it could change depending on their mood, the day. People are fickle things.
I try and not let it colour my interactions with someone - I prefer to go with how they are with me. What they show me. What I'll never do, and I think is really shitty, is weaponise gossip to hurt another. Like "oh I've heard that people think x, y and z about you". Off that fucks. "
But it does happen, makes you wonder why adults can't be adults |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"I'm sure all the shite that goes on in Telegram groups etc is totally true. Even the PM's that allege people did xyz. There's no reason for anyone to lie behind people's backs.
Have you see this for yourself or is that influenced something someone has told you?"
A mixture of simple logic and deduction, plus backed up by what somebody else has said. |
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If I had listened to what other people said I would never have gone out with my Husband. 
I listened but wanted to give him a chance and it worked out to be the best relationship I have ever had.
To be fair, when I discovered the reasons for their concern and ill feelings towards him, I realised that his actions were more than justified when I worked out who was involved and why, lol. x |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"Just thinking randomly, which is dangerous I know for 10:19 on a Sunday...And I am curious to hear opinions.
When it comes to interactions whether it be Fab or real life do you allow other people's perceptions, judgements and opinions cloud your view of someone else?
Are you easily influenced by what they say about that someone and take it as fact or do you like to make up your own mind?
"
. On Fabs I go with my own judgements as I am on Fabs on my terms.At work I don’t involve myself by what someone thinks of a manager or work colleague it’s how I work and interact with them that counts. |
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By *ealMissShady OP Woman
over a year ago
St Albans/ Welsh Borders |
"I'm sure all the shite that goes on in Telegram groups etc is totally true. Even the PM's that allege people did xyz. There's no reason for anyone to lie behind people's backs.
Have you see this for yourself or is that influenced something someone has told you?
It was sarcasm.
I know for a fact that some people make up shit and lie to make other people look shit. "
Why the sarcasm? It's really not necessary. I'm asking a genuine question. |
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"I try to make my own mind up but I'm human, I'm sometimes influenced though, I'm human.
I very definitely think bad of people who say bad stuff to try and influence me against others"
I seem to be somewhat in doubt of my humanity  |
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By *ealMissShady OP Woman
over a year ago
St Albans/ Welsh Borders |
"I'm sure all the shite that goes on in Telegram groups etc is totally true. Even the PM's that allege people did xyz. There's no reason for anyone to lie behind people's backs.
Have you see this for yourself or is that influenced something someone has told you?
A mixture of simple logic and deduction, plus backed up by what somebody else has said."
Oh it has to be true then if someone else said it |
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By *ealMissShady OP Woman
over a year ago
St Albans/ Welsh Borders |
"If I had listened to what other people said I would never have gone out with my Husband.
I listened but wanted to give him a chance and it worked out to be the best relationship I have ever had.
To be fair, when I discovered the reasons for their concern and ill feelings towards him, I realised that his actions were more than justified when I worked out who was involved and why, lol. x"
Love that! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone has different experiences with people based on what they choose to show them so we never really get everyone completely authentically but I take people at face value always. |
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I form my opinion on people based on how they are to me, and how they act when I'm around them. Hearing things can potentially cloud your view, which is human nature, but I try to put all that to 1 side. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sure all the shite that goes on in Telegram groups etc is totally true. Even the PM's that allege people did xyz. There's no reason for anyone to lie behind people's backs.
Have you see this for yourself or is that influenced something someone has told you?
It was sarcasm.
I know for a fact that some people make up shit and lie to make other people look shit.
Why the sarcasm? It's really not necessary. I'm asking a genuine question."
Sarcasm was general, not at all aimed at you. |
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I don’t really speak privately to people on here much anymore and never discuss with anyone at all who I meet so it wouldn’t happen anyway. I’ll read veris and they can sometimes affect if I’ll meet someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I had listened to what other people said I would never have gone out with my Husband.
I listened but wanted to give him a chance and it worked out to be the best relationship I have ever had.
To be fair, when I discovered the reasons for their concern and ill feelings towards him, I realised that his actions were more than justified when I worked out who was involved and why, lol. x"
Did it make you more cautious with him though?
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I'm sure all the shite that goes on in Telegram groups etc is totally true. Even the PM's that allege people did xyz. There's no reason for anyone to lie behind people's backs.
Have you see this for yourself or is that influenced something someone has told you?
A mixture of simple logic and deduction, plus backed up by what somebody else has said.
Oh it has to be true then if someone else said it "
This is what saddens me most about fab. People are often so simple and trusting amongst the most calculated , scheming , manipulative people. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"I'm sure all the shite that goes on in Telegram groups etc is totally true. Even the PM's that allege people did xyz. There's no reason for anyone to lie behind people's backs.
Have you see this for yourself or is that influenced something someone has told you?
A mixture of simple logic and deduction, plus backed up by what somebody else has said.
Oh it has to be true then if someone else said it "
Missing out the simple logic part. What somebody else had said only confirmed what I worked out to be happening, before that person said it to me or I even knew of that person. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"I try and make up my own mind. Someone's interactions with another person? Well it could change depending on their mood, the day. People are fickle things.
I try and not let it colour my interactions with someone - I prefer to go with how they are with me. What they show me. What I'll never do, and I think is really shitty, is weaponise gossip to hurt another. Like "oh I've heard that people think x, y and z about you". Off that fucks.
But it does happen, makes you wonder why adults can't be adults "
People are human. They get hurt. Lash out. It's a way of trying to bring you down a peg, trying to make you question yourself. We can be often quick to label another's behaviour whilst remaining wilfully ignorant of our own.
Which leads nicely on to...
Let's stop the armchair psychology. Psychopaths, narcissist, gaslighting.
Gaslighting is about the lying. The adamant denial, even when there's evidence. If you make someone constantly question themselves with lies, with telling them something didn't happen when it did and they know it did and they have evidence? Lovebombing, attempted isolation, minimising behaviour etc. Congratulations, you've been gaslighting.
All that aside, I'm going to bring up the positive side of listening to others opinions. Because it's Sunday and life is really good. We have a tendency to focus on the negative on this sort of thread but...
When a friend sings the praises of another friend, I'm more likely to think, yes, this person could be my cup of tea. If they say about similar senses of humour etc. A good egg. I like good eggs. |
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By *ealMissShady OP Woman
over a year ago
St Albans/ Welsh Borders |
"If people are in the habit of reading forum posts regularly, it doesn't take much to build a picture and form an opinion of some prolific posters. All without anyone else's input or influence "
This is very true, instinct says a lot |
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"If people are in the habit of reading forum posts regularly, it doesn't take much to build a picture and form an opinion of some prolific posters. All without anyone else's input or influence
This is very true, instinct says a lot"
Instinct or deductive logic? |
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"Just thinking randomly, which is dangerous I know for 10:19 on a Sunday...And I am curious to hear opinions.
When it comes to interactions whether it be Fab or real life do you allow other people's perceptions, judgements and opinions cloud your view of someone else?
Are you easily influenced by what they say about that someone and take it as fact or do you like to make up your own mind?
"
This is an interesting question for sure. I think that we’d all like to say something along the lines of ‘I like to form my own opinions of people and things based on my own experience of them’ etc, but I do think that there is a degree of human nature which can’t help but take on board the advice of others.
So for example, in a professional workplace context, if someone who we know, trust and respect advises caution with someone or something then we’re far more likely to take heed.
If it’s rumour/backchat/gossip in private life then that’s fundamentally different and I think most people will treat that with the disregard that it deserves.
One thing I did notice when I was on Fab a few years ago is that there are times when it could get a big ‘cliquey’; I have no time for that at all.
Just my tuppence worth! |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"If people are in the habit of reading forum posts regularly, it doesn't take much to build a picture and form an opinion of some prolific posters. All without anyone else's input or influence "
For a smart person that is true who can see behind bullshit and need to be centre of attention . Other people might just think oh they’re very popular |
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I make up my own minds about people, but at the same time I guess I can be swayed a little too.
For example being told someone was sending people's private inboxes and face pics from fab into a group chat, instantly put me off that person whereas I previously thought they were okay.
I do try and use my own judgement of people and I'm generally not a bad judge of character, it's easier for forum people as you do see a hint at their personality than general fabbers.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve never been told shit about anyone to get me to like, back off them or to be weary of them.
I make my mind up about people based on interactions I’ve had with them or things I’ve seen them say on here. However if someone I care about and respect told me a fabber had done something awful to them then I’d take that seriously and possibly not engage.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I *know* people on fab talk about me behind my back because on more than one occasion it has come back to me. If anyone wants to be influenced by that shit that’s their business. I’m 26. I left secondary school ages ago. |
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I make up my own mind, whether it be good or bad things that I'm being told...a lot of people seem to be easily fooled by false kindness.
On here? I rely on my own judgement even more so. Sex, or the prospect of it, seems to bring out a distinctly unpleasant side in some people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I make up my own minds about people, but at the same time I guess I can be swayed a little too.
For example being told someone was sending people's private inboxes and face pics from fab into a group chat, instantly put me off that person whereas I previously thought they were okay.
I do try and use my own judgement of people and I'm generally not a bad judge of character, it's easier for forum people as you do see a hint at their personality than general fabbers.
Mrs "
Were you shown proof? Or was it just that you were told?
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"Just thinking randomly, which is dangerous I know for 10:19 on a Sunday...And I am curious to hear opinions.
When it comes to interactions whether it be Fab or real life do you allow other people's perceptions, judgements and opinions cloud your view of someone else?
Are you easily influenced by what they say about that someone and take it as fact or do you like to make up your own mind?
"
i imagine my names mud but what you don't know doesn't hurt you  |
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By *ealMissShady OP Woman
over a year ago
St Albans/ Welsh Borders |
"I *know* people on fab talk about me behind my back because on more than one occasion it has come back to me. If anyone wants to be influenced by that shit that’s their business. I’m 26. I left secondary school ages ago. "
Same, and not sure what's to be gained by it. Like you say it's a playground mentality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's happened at socials where two or more people I like may not get on with each other or have different viewpoints. I very rarely let that get in the way of my judgment of them though as I prefer to judge them on my experiences, not anyone else's. |
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Unless I have got to know someone on an intimate level I tend to take most things with a pinch of salt.
Those who judge me without doing the same are of little concern to me.
I see it as a view of knowing a person's mind better than one's own, which I have very little time for.
Interactions on here. It's a bit like Yalom's tumbler. Everyone is bouncing off each other, in various ways. When one stares into a chaos one tends to see one's own reflection. |
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I have found that there are certain people who have an opinion on everyone and put a hell of a lot of effort into convincing others that they should also have their opinion.
The above is done in private and those same people then hop on the forums with the polar opposite opinion in public.
That tells me all I need to know about them but never influences my opinion on their targets.
More often than not I'll go against the grain in my own perception of people.
I may not always be right but at least I'm not trying to influence anyone else.
An example of this is being told at a social that a particular fabber thinks I'm a dick.
The feeling is mutual but my reason for thinking that is down to him using others to get in touch with me and then copying and pasting my replies to them on forum threads.
The only reason he thinks I'm a dick is because I ignored his every attempt to include me in his circle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am torn between wanting to know everything, be it fab or work or others and No, just keep me out of it all. Im pretty good at noticing things and will sometimes err on the side of someone's opinions if I trust them, but ultimately make up my own mind. You can see the people for whom it's their whole life to talk shit about people and they are bursting to see of you are agreeable. Depending on my mood I will either just keep it at bay and ignore their eagerness or sometimes just allow them to boil over and spill it all out, it seems to be therapeutic for them. This is at work mostly, here I'm not interested. I wouldnt be joining any telegram groups. Feels like poison for the soul.
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"If I had listened to what other people said I would never have gone out with my Husband.
I listened but wanted to give him a chance and it worked out to be the best relationship I have ever had.
To be fair, when I discovered the reasons for their concern and ill feelings towards him, I realised that his actions were more than justified when I worked out who was involved and why, lol. x
Did it make you more cautious with him though?
"
Not at all, but then again, I wasn't looking for love, I just wanted to fuck him but the more time we spent together, things developed.
As someone else on the thread said, I tend to judge people on how they treat ME. |
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I’ll listen if someone has something to say about someone or a situation and the feel compelled to tell me about it, but I always form my own opinions because there are usually factors in other peoples opinions that aren’t relevant to me. Just because you like or dislike someone, doesn’t mean everyone else should or would  |
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By *ealMissShady OP Woman
over a year ago
St Albans/ Welsh Borders |
"I have found that there are certain people who have an opinion on everyone and put a hell of a lot of effort into convincing others that they should also have their opinion.
The above is done in private and those same people then hop on the forums with the polar opposite opinion in public.
That tells me all I need to know about them but never influences my opinion on their targets.
More often than not I'll go against the grain in my own perception of people.
I may not always be right but at least I'm not trying to influence anyone else.
An example of this is being told at a social that a particular fabber thinks I'm a dick.
The feeling is mutual but my reason for thinking that is down to him using others to get in touch with me and then copying and pasting my replies to them on forum threads.
The only reason he thinks I'm a dick is because I ignored his every attempt to include me in his circle. "
Interesting isn't it to see how transparent people can be.
Hmm interesting replies all, thanks for the contributions |
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"I make up my own minds about people, but at the same time I guess I can be swayed a little too.
For example being told someone was sending people's private inboxes and face pics from fab into a group chat, instantly put me off that person whereas I previously thought they were okay.
I do try and use my own judgement of people and I'm generally not a bad judge of character, it's easier for forum people as you do see a hint at their personality than general fabbers.
Mrs
Were you shown proof? Or was it just that you were told?
"
Told by more than one person following a comment about it on a thread, don't get me wrong nothing has changed in my approach to this person because I've seen no proof however numerous people, same story, it's hard to not let it influence/niggle you.
It's definitely put me off posting on certain posts.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I make up my own minds about people, but at the same time I guess I can be swayed a little too.
For example being told someone was sending people's private inboxes and face pics from fab into a group chat, instantly put me off that person whereas I previously thought they were okay.
I do try and use my own judgement of people and I'm generally not a bad judge of character, it's easier for forum people as you do see a hint at their personality than general fabbers.
Mrs
Were you shown proof? Or was it just that you were told?
Told by more than one person following a comment about it on a thread, don't get me wrong nothing has changed in my approach to this person because I've seen no proof however numerous people, same story, it's hard to not let it influence/niggle you.
It's definitely put me off posting on certain posts.
Mrs "
The people in Telegram groups are all trustworthy individuals. |
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"I listen. Take it on board. Make up my own mind."
•
This... ^ and...
... I listen without prejudice to those "perceptions, judgements and opinions" because they are not difficult to ignore, but easy to disregard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just thinking randomly, which is dangerous I know for 10:19 on a Sunday...And I am curious to hear opinions.
When it comes to interactions whether it be Fab or real life do you allow other people's perceptions, judgements and opinions cloud your view of someone else?
Are you easily influenced by what they say about that someone and take it as fact or do you like to make up your own mind?
"
I always make up my own mind plus I never speak to anyone about people on here so It's impossible for me to be influenced  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just thinking randomly, which is dangerous I know for 10:19 on a Sunday...And I am curious to hear opinions.
When it comes to interactions whether it be Fab or real life do you allow other people's perceptions, judgements and opinions cloud your view of someone else?
Are you easily influenced by what they say about that someone and take it as fact or do you like to make up your own mind?
I always make up my own mind plus I never speak to anyone about people on here so It's impossible for me to be influenced "
Meant to be |
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