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The Oracle
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Jennie the omniscient knows all and is ensconced in her summer house of wisdom.
Come to the oracle and ask your question. The great all seeing and all knowing will provide your answer.
(She's a bit rusty on Quantum Physics though!)
Ask, and ye shall know.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Jennie the Omniscient - on what date of autumn do you start calling your summer house "the shed" ?"
The summerhouse is called the summerhouse all year long. Shed is a dirty word implying tools and old men, none of which will be found. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh Oracle. Will my house ever sell? Or am I doomed to see the rest of my life out in my childhood bedroom? "
Your house will have sold by this time next year. Revel in your childhood memories and don’t wish your life away |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Dear All Seeing and All Knowing Jennie.
You'll know I'm about to ask this but anyhoo, tomorrow it's October. Is it okay to declare it's witch season at every given opportunity and wear Halloween themed lingerie whenever you see someone? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear All Seeing and All Knowing Jennie.
You'll know I'm about to ask this but anyhoo, tomorrow it's October. Is it okay to declare it's witch season at every given opportunity and wear Halloween themed lingerie whenever you see someone?"
It is fine to declare witch season once in every conversation and hallowe’en lingerie is acceptable from tomorrow until the 31st. |
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"Dear All Seeing and All Knowing Jennie.
You'll know I'm about to ask this but anyhoo, tomorrow it's October. Is it okay to declare it's witch season at every given opportunity and wear Halloween themed lingerie whenever you see someone?"
I'd like to say, not only okay but outright expected. Though why the comment about October before the question? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Dear All Seeing and All Knowing Jennie.
You'll know I'm about to ask this but anyhoo, tomorrow it's October. Is it okay to declare it's witch season at every given opportunity and wear Halloween themed lingerie whenever you see someone?
I'd like to say, not only okay but outright expected. Though why the comment about October before the question?"
 I reread that a couple of times before I understood it. Think I need caffeine. Fair. Halloween/spooky lingerie is acceptable all year around. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear All Seeing and All Knowing Jennie.
You'll know I'm about to ask this but anyhoo, tomorrow it's October. Is it okay to declare it's witch season at every given opportunity and wear Halloween themed lingerie whenever you see someone?
I'd like to say, not only okay but outright expected. Though why the comment about October before the question?"
You are correct mon Cherie, it is indeed expected for all beautiful ladies to adorn themselves with Halloween lingerie. That includes you  |
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"Dear All Seeing and All Knowing Jennie.
You'll know I'm about to ask this but anyhoo, tomorrow it's October. Is it okay to declare it's witch season at every given opportunity and wear Halloween themed lingerie whenever you see someone?
I'd like to say, not only okay but outright expected. Though why the comment about October before the question?
I reread that a couple of times before I understood it. Think I need caffeine. Fair. Halloween/spooky lingerie is acceptable all year around."
Get yourself an extra PSL lovely  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Should I wank over the mrs’s tits and face tonight ? Or give her a good dicking ?
The mr "
You should take her for an expensive and romantic dinner then make love to her like the beautiful woman she is |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh wonderful oracle Jennie, can you use your omnipotent powers to locate my self confidence send it back to me and convince it not to be so flaky please"
If you look in the back right pocket of the last pair of trousers you wore you’ll find it there. Treat it nicely and it will reward you with loyalty |
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"Should I wank over the mrs’s tits and face tonight ? Or give her a good dicking ?
The mr
You should take her for an expensive and romantic dinner then make love to her like the beautiful woman she is "
Chippy and I cheeky finger behind the bins then.
Who going to watch the kids or should I just leave them in bed. After all we’re not in Portugal.
The mr |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh great Oracle - I'm at a loose end this afternoon and evening. If I was to post a meet, what is the likelihood of me actually getting a meet?"
Don’t bother. Have you tried a tv in your bedroom? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Should I wank over the mrs’s tits and face tonight ? Or give her a good dicking ?
The mr
You should take her for an expensive and romantic dinner then make love to her like the beautiful woman she is
Chippy and I cheeky finger behind the bins then.
Who going to watch the kids or should I just leave them in bed. After all we’re not in Portugal.
The mr "
If childcare is an issue a takeaway will suffice |
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By *.T.Man
over a year ago
Jordanhill / Scotstoun |
"Oh great Oracle - I'm at a loose end this afternoon and evening. If I was to post a meet, what is the likelihood of me actually getting a meet?
Don’t bother. Have you tried a tv in your bedroom? "
Ooh, definately something to consider. Any tips? |
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"Should I wank over the mrs’s tits and face tonight ? Or give her a good dicking ?
The mr
You should take her for an expensive and romantic dinner then make love to her like the beautiful woman she is
Chippy and I cheeky finger behind the bins then.
Who going to watch the kids or should I just leave them in bed. After all we’re not in Portugal.
The mr "
Excuse me, I was promised a jizzing on my face!
Mrs  |
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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"Jennie the Omniscient what is the meaning of fab life?
The meaning of fab life is whatever you want it to be. It includes glitter though "
Okay I have another. How do I rescue the bumble bee trapped in my conservatory? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh great Oracle - I'm at a loose end this afternoon and evening. If I was to post a meet, what is the likelihood of me actually getting a meet?
Don’t bother. Have you tried a tv in your bedroom?
Ooh, definately something to consider. Any tips?"
Treat her with respect |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Should I wank over the mrs’s tits and face tonight ? Or give her a good dicking ?
The mr
You should take her for an expensive and romantic dinner then make love to her like the beautiful woman she is
Chippy and I cheeky finger behind the bins then.
Who going to watch the kids or should I just leave them in bed. After all we’re not in Portugal.
The mr
Excuse me, I was promised a jizzing on my face!
Mrs "
That is not ladylike behaviour |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Jennie the Omniscient what is the meaning of fab life?
The meaning of fab life is whatever you want it to be. It includes glitter though
Okay I have another. How do I rescue the bumble bee trapped in my conservatory?"
Download an app called ‘how to speak bee’. Learn it’s language and politely guide it to an open window or door |
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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"Jennie the Omniscient what is the meaning of fab life?
The meaning of fab life is whatever you want it to be. It includes glitter though
Okay I have another. How do I rescue the bumble bee trapped in my conservatory?
Download an app called ‘how to speak bee’. Learn it’s language and politely guide it to an open window or door "
**runs off to app store** dang it I'm rubbish at other languages |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Jennie the Omniscient what is the meaning of fab life?
The meaning of fab life is whatever you want it to be. It includes glitter though
Okay I have another. How do I rescue the bumble bee trapped in my conservatory?
Download an app called ‘how to speak bee’. Learn it’s language and politely guide it to an open window or door
**runs off to app store** dang it I'm rubbish at other languages "
Speak slowly so it can understand you |
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"Dear wise and all-knowing Oracle, what colour shall I dye my hair next?
Jx
Orange and black for Halloween "
Hmmm, that's not going to work over the lilac it is at the moment. It will turn to bleurghy mud. But you knew that as you're the Oracle so what you really said using subliminal messaging was dark, dark blue
J |
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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago
the land of tall tales and yarn |
"Jennie the Omniscient what is the meaning of fab life?
The meaning of fab life is whatever you want it to be. It includes glitter though
Okay I have another. How do I rescue the bumble bee trapped in my conservatory?
Download an app called ‘how to speak bee’. Learn it’s language and politely guide it to an open window or door
**runs off to app store** dang it I'm rubbish at other languages
Speak slowly so it can understand you "
**doths cap** buzzzzzzzzzzzzz |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh great oracle, grand and noble.
My friend likes sucking great big, fat, juicy, sweaty cocks. He also loves being fucked by big purple-headed penises at least ten times a day. All he thinks about is big dicks slapping his face and filling all his naughty holes.
Is he gay?
Many 'straight' men on fab are telling me he is perfectly straight.
I'm confused.
HELP! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear wise and all-knowing Oracle, what colour shall I dye my hair next?
Jx
Orange and black for Halloween
Hmmm, that's not going to work over the lilac it is at the moment. It will turn to bleurghy mud. But you knew that as you're the Oracle so what you really said using subliminal messaging was dark, dark blue
J"
Precisely |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh great oracle, grand and noble.
My friend likes sucking great big, fat, juicy, sweaty cocks. He also loves being fucked by big purple-headed penises at least ten times a day. All he thinks about is big dicks slapping his face and filling all his naughty holes.
Is he gay?
Many 'straight' men on fab are telling me he is perfectly straight.
I'm confused.
HELP!"
Your 'friend' is Fab straight.
Appears to all the world to be a raging hetter, but tragically riddled with The Ghey. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh great oracle, grand and noble.
My friend likes sucking great big, fat, juicy, sweaty cocks. He also loves being fucked by big purple-headed penises at least ten times a day. All he thinks about is big dicks slapping his face and filling all his naughty holes.
Is he gay?
Many 'straight' men on fab are telling me he is perfectly straight.
I'm confused.
HELP!
Your 'friend' is Fab straight.
Appears to all the world to be a raging hetter, but tragically riddled with The Ghey. "
Is it ok if I call him a woofter, a wee billy hoofter? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh great oracle, grand and noble.
My friend likes sucking great big, fat, juicy, sweaty cocks. He also loves being fucked by big purple-headed penises at least ten times a day. All he thinks about is big dicks slapping his face and filling all his naughty holes.
Is he gay?
Many 'straight' men on fab are telling me he is perfectly straight.
I'm confused.
HELP!
Your 'friend' is Fab straight.
Appears to all the world to be a raging hetter, but tragically riddled with The Ghey.
Is it ok if I call him a woofter, a wee billy hoofter?"
That is the standard practice in Stirlingshire |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Dear wise and all knowing oracle that is Jennie…. How do you stop a heart from hurting "
I don't think you can just stop it. It would be great if there was an off switch to your humanity, your feelings but over time you find it hurts a little less. Or you're a bit stronger and can make peace with it. I hope you get there soon, x |
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"Should I wank over the mrs’s tits and face tonight ? Or give her a good dicking ?
The mr
You should take her for an expensive and romantic dinner then make love to her like the beautiful woman she is
Chippy and I cheeky finger behind the bins then.
Who going to watch the kids or should I just leave them in bed. After all we’re not in Portugal.
The mr
Excuse me, I was promised a jizzing on my face!
Mrs
That is not ladylike behaviour "
Good job I'm not ladylike
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear wise and all knowing oracle that is Jennie…. How do you stop a heart from hurting
Stop caring "
Or embrace the hurt as a demonstration that you have humanity. Smile as you think of the good times and find the strength to move on. Time heals. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh Jennie do you think I should hide the answer to my code somewhere on the fab forums people to try and find?"
Those that are worthy will find it, regardless |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh lovely Jennie, I need to buy myself some new casual ( not gym or running)trainers. What does the oracle foresee as the best ones to buy?"
Puma Colibri SD, Adidas Gazelle, Ontisuka Tiger Mexico are all strong contenders |
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"Oh lovely Jennie, I need to buy myself some new casual ( not gym or running)trainers. What does the oracle foresee as the best ones to buy?
Puma Colibri SD, Adidas Gazelle, Ontisuka Tiger Mexico are all strong contenders"
Thank you, Gazelles are a fave  |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
Dearest Oracle, it has been cloudy here all day but hasn't rained, should I chance putting my washing out on the line? Or will it chuck it down as soon as I've finished hanging it out? |
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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago
Lives in Preston, Eng |
"Jennie the omniscient knows all and is ensconced in her summer house of wisdom.
Come to the oracle and ask your question. The great all seeing and all knowing will provide your answer.
(She's a bit rusty on Quantum Physics though!)
Ask, and ye shall know.
"
Oh all knowing: Will a cookie make me feel better? Oh and side question of lesser importance will I ever fall in love again? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"dear jennie going to fuerteventura next week do i hit that nudist beach little shy"
Go for it, but avoid shuffling around like a zombie. The Wanking Dead is not a good look |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie the omniscient knows all and is ensconced in her summer house of wisdom.
Come to the oracle and ask your question. The great all seeing and all knowing will provide your answer.
(She's a bit rusty on Quantum Physics though!)
Ask, and ye shall know.
Oh all knowing: Will a cookie make me feel better? Oh and side question of lesser importance will I ever fall in love again? "
Cookies are magical mood lifters.
Love? Pah! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh great all knowing Jennie, fountain of knowledge etc etc.
Should I keep DCA investing in cryptocurrency or should I just accept I’ve missed the boat and I’ll never be a gazillionaire 
"
Crypto is a mugs game nowadays |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh all seeing and knowing Jenny
As a single man of advancing years can you please predict when I likely to get a meeting through this site "
As soon as you have learned to apply makeup, walk in heels and bought a half decent wig.
#WorkedForMe |
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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago
Lives in Preston, Eng |
"Jennie the omniscient knows all and is ensconced in her summer house of wisdom.
Come to the oracle and ask your question. The great all seeing and all knowing will provide your answer.
(She's a bit rusty on Quantum Physics though!)
Ask, and ye shall know.
Oh all knowing: Will a cookie make me feel better? Oh and side question of lesser importance will I ever fall in love again?
Cookies are magical mood lifters.
Love? Pah! "
Knew it. Cookie yeah. Love meh. Thank you oracle. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dearest Oracle, it has been cloudy here all day but hasn't rained, should I chance putting my washing out on the line? Or will it chuck it down as soon as I've finished hanging it out?"
A little light drizzle at worst. You should be safe |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh wise oracle Jennie.
Please can you help me decide. Do I wear the blue dress or the red dress this evening? "
Red.
Absolutely.
.
To match your eyes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh all seeing and knowing Jenny
As a single man of advancing years can you please predict when I likely to get a meeting through this site
As soon as you have learned to apply makeup, walk in heels and bought a half decent wig.
#WorkedForMe"
Is there an alternative  |
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"Oh great all knowing Jennie, fountain of knowledge etc etc.
Should I keep DCA investing in cryptocurrency or should I just accept I’ve missed the boat and I’ll never be a gazillionaire
Crypto is a mugs game nowadays "
Oh wise Jennie, sadly you have confirmed my suspicions.
Do you want to buy a kidney?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh great all knowing Jennie, fountain of knowledge etc etc.
Should I keep DCA investing in cryptocurrency or should I just accept I’ve missed the boat and I’ll never be a gazillionaire
Crypto is a mugs game nowadays
Oh wise Jennie, sadly you have confirmed my suspicions.
Do you want to buy a kidney? "
Thanks but trying to give them up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh all seeing and knowing Jenny
As a single man of advancing years can you please predict when I likely to get a meeting through this site
As soon as you have learned to apply makeup, walk in heels and bought a half decent wig.
#WorkedForMe
Is there an alternative "
There is, but it involves patience and playing the long game. And let's face it, who's got time for that? |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Dearest Oracle, it has been cloudy here all day but hasn't rained, should I chance putting my washing out on the line? Or will it chuck it down as soon as I've finished hanging it out?
A little light drizzle at worst. You should be safe"
Thanks oh wise one, its out now! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, it has been cloudy here all day but hasn't rained, should I chance putting my washing out on the line? Or will it chuck it down as soon as I've finished hanging it out?
A little light drizzle at worst. You should be safe
Thanks oh wise one, its out now!"
Should be dry any time now |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Dearest Oracle, it has been cloudy here all day but hasn't rained, should I chance putting my washing out on the line? Or will it chuck it down as soon as I've finished hanging it out?
A little light drizzle at worst. You should be safe
Thanks oh wise one, its out now!
Should be dry any time now"
You're right, it nearly is, your Oracle skills are second to none! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, it has been cloudy here all day but hasn't rained, should I chance putting my washing out on the line? Or will it chuck it down as soon as I've finished hanging it out?
A little light drizzle at worst. You should be safe
Thanks oh wise one, its out now!
Should be dry any time now
You're right, it nearly is, your Oracle skills are second to none! "
Its a gift |
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Oh Glamacle (glamorous oracle - see what I tried and failed to do there?) Say, for the sake of discussion, a friend of yours had recorded a particularly explicit short video for a Fab friend. Say that it was well received. And say that some time has passed. Should your friend pop it up on their Fab gallery and risk ridicule for its filth, or should they chuck it in the bin and be glad it was fun for a one-off? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh Glamacle (glamorous oracle - see what I tried and failed to do there?) Say, for the sake of discussion, a friend of yours had recorded a particularly explicit short video for a Fab friend. Say that it was well received. And say that some time has passed. Should your friend pop it up on their Fab gallery and risk ridicule for its filth, or should they chuck it in the bin and be glad it was fun for a one-off?"
The Oracle should assess said video. She obviously knows the content, because she is omniscient, but even so... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh Jennie the wise one,
Will I get my hands on a youngish milf next week? "
Standard practice is to walk in the park or along the canal. They throw themselves at you! |
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"Oh Jennie the wise one,
Will I get my hands on a youngish milf next week?
Standard practice is to walk in the park or along the canal. They throw themselves at you! "
Thank you wise one, I'll get some bread for the ducks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh Jennie the wise one,
Will I get my hands on a youngish milf next week?
Standard practice is to walk in the park or along the canal. They throw themselves at you!
Thank you wise one, I'll get some bread for the ducks"
Wholemeal is best for ducks... white bread is very bad for them  |
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"Oh Jennie the wise one,
Will I get my hands on a youngish milf next week?
Standard practice is to walk in the park or along the canal. They throw themselves at you!
Thank you wise one, I'll get some bread for the ducks
Wholemeal is best for ducks... white bread is very bad for them "
I thought ducks preferred pancake rolls  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh Jennie the wise one,
Will I get my hands on a youngish milf next week?
Standard practice is to walk in the park or along the canal. They throw themselves at you!
Thank you wise one, I'll get some bread for the ducks
Wholemeal is best for ducks... white bread is very bad for them
I thought ducks preferred pancake rolls "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Oracle, I have been in the bath for over an hour, friends said they'd saved food for me at 7.30. Should I make the effort to go round (it's now cold lasagne) or should I just top up the water and add wrinkles to my aged wrinkles? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oracle, I have been in the bath for over an hour, friends said they'd saved food for me at 7.30. Should I make the effort to go round (it's now cold lasagne) or should I just top up the water and add wrinkles to my aged wrinkles?"
Ask them to deliver the food to you in the bath. Top up the hot water. Eat the lasagna |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oracle, I have been in the bath for over an hour, friends said they'd saved food for me at 7.30. Should I make the effort to go round (it's now cold lasagne) or should I just top up the water and add wrinkles to my aged wrinkles?
Ask them to deliver the food to you in the bath. Top up the hot water. Eat the lasagna "
Oh what a great oracle, I may have to marry you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oracle, I have been in the bath for over an hour, friends said they'd saved food for me at 7.30. Should I make the effort to go round (it's now cold lasagne) or should I just top up the water and add wrinkles to my aged wrinkles?
Ask them to deliver the food to you in the bath. Top up the hot water. Eat the lasagna
Oh what a great oracle, I may have to marry you!"
The oracle is above such mundane traditions. Blow jobs accepted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oracle, I have been in the bath for over an hour, friends said they'd saved food for me at 7.30. Should I make the effort to go round (it's now cold lasagne) or should I just top up the water and add wrinkles to my aged wrinkles?
Ask them to deliver the food to you in the bath. Top up the hot water. Eat the lasagna
Oh what a great oracle, I may have to marry you!
The oracle is above such mundane traditions. Blow jobs accepted "
Unfortunately Oracle, LB gave different advice, and since it is someone's leaving do I had better get my arse in gear and head over. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dearest Oracle, I ask this every time.. when will I get laid  it’s been 5 months!"
Demi, there are some idiots in this world. Play it cool and chat to some nice people and I predict you will have fun before the end of November.
(Ps. The Oracle has just served a writ on me for soothsaying on her thread) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh Oracle, when will the weather become too cold to wear shorts?"
If you are a postman it’ll never be too cold. The rest of us mere mortals will be in trousers from Monday |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dearest Oracle, I ask this every time.. when will I get laid it’s been 5 months!
Demi, there are some idiots in this world. Play it cool and chat to some nice people and I predict you will have fun before the end of November.
(Ps. The Oracle has just served a writ on me for soothsaying on her thread)"
Ahem. There is only one oracle! Please desist your impostoring! |
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"Oracle, I have been in the bath for over an hour, friends said they'd saved food for me at 7.30. Should I make the effort to go round (it's now cold lasagne) or should I just top up the water and add wrinkles to my aged wrinkles?
Ask them to deliver the food to you in the bath. Top up the hot water. Eat the lasagna
Oh what a great oracle, I may have to marry you!
The oracle is above such mundane traditions. Blow jobs accepted
Unfortunately Oracle, LB gave different advice, and since it is someone's leaving do I had better get my arse in gear and head over."
I am not the oracle though… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oracle, I have been in the bath for over an hour, friends said they'd saved food for me at 7.30. Should I make the effort to go round (it's now cold lasagne) or should I just top up the water and add wrinkles to my aged wrinkles?
Ask them to deliver the food to you in the bath. Top up the hot water. Eat the lasagna
Oh what a great oracle, I may have to marry you!
The oracle is above such mundane traditions. Blow jobs accepted
Unfortunately Oracle, LB gave different advice, and since it is someone's leaving do I had better get my arse in gear and head over.
I am not the oracle though… "
LB, I am still in the bath! I must go or I will be shot! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Oracle,
how long after getting the tattoo can I have a glass of wine please? (Or two, they always come in pairs for some reason).
The Fab karaoke won’t just do itself, you know?
So, when?
 "
The wine can be d*unk approximately 8 hours after the tattoo, in moderation |
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"Dear Oracle,
how long after getting the tattoo can I have a glass of wine please? (Or two, they always come in pairs for some reason).
The Fab karaoke won’t just do itself, you know?
So, when?
The wine can be d*unk approximately 8 hours after the tattoo, in moderation "
Dear Oracle,
thank you for your time to answer my burning question.
If I may, what does *in moderation* mean please?
P. S. It’s been 80 hours. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Oracle,
how long after getting the tattoo can I have a glass of wine please? (Or two, they always come in pairs for some reason).
The Fab karaoke won’t just do itself, you know?
So, when?
The wine can be d*unk approximately 8 hours after the tattoo, in moderation
Dear Oracle,
thank you for your time to answer my burning question.
If I may, what does *in moderation* mean please?
P. S. It’s been 80 hours. "
In that case crack on young one. A bottle will do you |
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"Dear Oracle,
how long after getting the tattoo can I have a glass of wine please? (Or two, they always come in pairs for some reason).
The Fab karaoke won’t just do itself, you know?
So, when?
The wine can be d*unk approximately 8 hours after the tattoo, in moderation
Dear Oracle,
thank you for your time to answer my burning question.
If I may, what does *in moderation* mean please?
P. S. It’s been 80 hours.
In that case crack on young one. A bottle will do you "
A bottle it is then.
(Thank you The Wise One) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dearest Oracle font of all things knowledge based, I have many questions, when will it all end? Will I get to snog someone before it does, what the fuck is VAR doing, but more importantly grey beards yes or no |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I ask this every time.. when will I get laid it’s been 5 months!
Demi, there are some idiots in this world. Play it cool and chat to some nice people and I predict you will have fun before the end of November.
(Ps. The Oracle has just served a writ on me for soothsaying on her thread)"
Demi.
This question has vexed me somewhat, and so I have consulted the tarot cards. I have drawn the kilted man card, the seven of dildos and the seven of dicks. My interpretation is there us link to Scotland, and the two sevens tell me fourteen. Either fourteen months, weeks, or days. Given the importance of seven, I am getting the vibe of two weeks, ie, a fortnight.
.
Does this resonate with you? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dearest Oracle font of all things knowledge based, I have many questions, when will it all end? Will I get to snog someone before it does, what the fuck is VAR doing, but more importantly grey beards yes or no "
The beard - yes
As for the rest... it will end when its all over. The snog will happen when the time is right. VAR just delays tbe inevitable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dearest Oracle, I ask this every time.. when will I get laid it’s been 5 months!
Demi, there are some idiots in this world. Play it cool and chat to some nice people and I predict you will have fun before the end of November.
(Ps. The Oracle has just served a writ on me for soothsaying on her thread)
Demi.
This question has vexed me somewhat, and so I have consulted the tarot cards. I have drawn the kilted man card, the seven of dildos and the seven of dicks. My interpretation is there us link to Scotland, and the two sevens tell me fourteen. Either fourteen months, weeks, or days. Given the importance of seven, I am getting the vibe of two weeks, ie, a fortnight.
.
Does this resonate with you? "
Hmm, none of this sounds familiar to me.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I ask this every time.. when will I get laid it’s been 5 months!
Demi, there are some idiots in this world. Play it cool and chat to some nice people and I predict you will have fun before the end of November.
(Ps. The Oracle has just served a writ on me for soothsaying on her thread)
Demi.
This question has vexed me somewhat, and so I have consulted the tarot cards. I have drawn the kilted man card, the seven of dildos and the seven of dicks. My interpretation is there us link to Scotland, and the two sevens tell me fourteen. Either fourteen months, weeks, or days. Given the importance of seven, I am getting the vibe of two weeks, ie, a fortnight.
.
Does this resonate with you?
Hmm, none of this sounds familiar to me. "
It will, my lovely, it will. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear oracle,
Which is tastier buttered crumpets or spotted dick?
OBS
We all like a bit of dick
Let's hope so, especially the ladies for mine. Thank you for making the right choice. "
The Oracle's choice is akways right.
She's omniscient |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear O.J.
As epochs come and go, when will this one go and FAB be rid of bleeding hearts, kneejerkers and the downright delusional and adulthood and humour be restored to it's rightful position ?
"
Sadly, Granny, I fear there is a glitch in the predictive matrix. This question even I cannot answer. My crystal ball is clouded by all the sobbing, sighing, manking and moaning. I fear we are entering tje End Times. |
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