FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ever been in this situation?
Ever been in this situation?
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Been chatting with a lovely bi cpl. They work a lot and have younger kids so aren't on fab much. Arranged to meet them at ours on Sat the first time they could get childcare. And then boom they haven't been online for 2weeks plus?!?
Should we give up on them and look for another plan?
Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked
What would you do?? |
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By *tacy.TWoman
over a year ago
luton |
"Been chatting with a lovely bi cpl. They work a lot and have younger kids so aren't on fab much. Arranged to meet them at ours on Sat the first time they could get childcare. And then boom they haven't been online for 2weeks plus?!?
Should we give up on them and look for another plan?
Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked
What would you do??"
I'd definitely give up n look elsewhere |
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Personally, I would go with whatever my gut instinct was telling me.
I you mentioned they don't get to go on fab a lot, but two weeks without any contact seems a bit long. Especially if you are supposed to be meeting them in two days time. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Been chatting with a lovely bi cpl. They work a lot and have younger kids so aren't on fab much. Arranged to meet them at ours on Sat the first time they could get childcare. And then boom they haven't been online for 2weeks plus?!?
Should we give up on them and look for another plan?
Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked
What would you do??"
I'd call or text/WhatsApp them.
I've never got to the stage of arranging a meet with someone without having the facility to contact them off site.
That way it doesn't matter when they last logged in. |
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"Been chatting with a lovely bi cpl. They work a lot and have younger kids so aren't on fab much. Arranged to meet them at ours on Sat the first time they could get childcare. And then boom they haven't been online for 2weeks plus?!?
Should we give up on them and look for another plan?
Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked
What would you do??
"
.
Some classic negative Fab advice on this thread.
I certainly wouldn't contact them to say you assume it's off if they are busy and they didn't give you a date!
Certainly don't give them a deadline!
Absolutely anything could have happened, and obviously they won't be actually offline just because of you - they are not on much anyway, as you say.
You just need to enquire (ask how they are perhaps?) and wait on this one, surely.
Regarding the club I have no idea. But nothing is stopping you still looking around Fab surely?
pt |
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I'd make a contingency plan, so that you restore some control as well as enjoyment to the night. Give yourself deadlines, by which you'll switch to plan B, if you've not heard.
Make contact and enforce your excitement for it and how you can be contacted. Advise you'd rearrange, if you would, when they make contact. Then check your messages
And enjoy plan A or B |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Been chatting with a lovely bi cpl. They work a lot and have younger kids so aren't on fab much. Arranged to meet them at ours on Sat the first time they could get childcare. And then boom they haven't been online for 2weeks plus?!?
Should we give up on them and look for another plan?
Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked
What would you do??"
I'd say fcuk it all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been chatting with a lovely bi cpl. They work a lot and have younger kids so aren't on fab much. Arranged to meet them at ours on Sat the first time they could get childcare. And then boom they haven't been online for 2weeks plus?!?
Should we give up on them and look for another plan?
Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked
What would you do??"
Have you met them before? Is it just a man wanking?
How often do they usually come online?
If it was me I'd have massaged them after a week of no contact. After 2 weeks no contact I would cancel. |
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"Been chatting with a lovely bi cpl. They work a lot and have younger kids so aren't on fab much. Arranged to meet them at ours on Sat the first time they could get childcare. And then boom they haven't been online for 2weeks plus?!?
Should we give up on them and look for another plan?
Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked
What would you do??"
We had that happen. We just moved on. |
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As you've arranged to meet at yours you haven't wasted time travelling elsewhere to be stood up. If they show up great, if not go out into the vanilla world and enjoy yourselves...you never know what could happen. |
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Childcare is a huge issue to us too & fab is very low on our priorities.
If people can't wait they aren't our people.
You said they've not been online so they aren't specifically ignoring you, life happens.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you actually spoken to both of them via phone or video call ?
If not then i'd say it's just a man and he's now dumped that profile and made a new one.
I hope i'm wrong. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Perhaps their pet squirrel died?
Or maybe they weren’t serious about meeting.
Either way, no contact for a week I’d assume it wasn’t going ahead. No drama. Just move on and invest your time elsewhere. |
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"Been chatting with a lovely bi cpl. They work a lot and have younger kids so aren't on fab much. Arranged to meet them at ours on Sat the first time they could get childcare. And then boom they haven't been online for 2weeks plus?!?
Should we give up on them and look for another plan?
Seems like every swinger party n the NE is going to club Shhhh which is now fully booked
What would you do??"
give them the benefit of doubt.. maybe something happened. |
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As others have said, forget them. We’ve been in your position, but we don’t chase them - if they can’t be bothered, or are willing to mess us about, they’re not for us. We use the notes so we know not to bother if they get in touch again. |
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By *elloWoman
over a year ago
alpha centauri |
I often don't log in here for weeks or more but if i had arranged a meet it wouldn't mean I had not intention of attending but if I hadn't made contact with them I wouldn't expect them to wait around for me, so when I'd log back in and found out they'd made alternative plans I'd be ok with this because it would of been my fault, I would either ask if I could join in with their new plans or find something or someone else to do that day and hopefully rearrange the meet with them |
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"Send them a msg, tell them if you haven't heard back in the next 24hrs you'll presume the meeting isn't going ahead. "
This 
Yeah people may be busy ,but if you know you've agreed to meet someone ,it doesn't take 5 mins to log in and either message or check your mail. |
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In cases like this, between forcing yourself to assume this 'isn't going to happen' (and risk you forgetting each other even when you use 'notes'), to sending them an ultimatum regarding dates you both never actually made, I think it really is a good suggestion to just put people like this on the back burner and just carry on looking elsewhere.
Don't assume you are being 'ghosted' just because a couple of weeks has passed. They haven't done much wrong it seems to me. Maybe actually nothing - real life is much more important than Fab.
I think people can easily get so frustrated with Fab that they actually deal with the frustration by effectively burning bridges. But what will that bring other than more frustration? It won't 'learn em' anything that's for sure, neither will an outright block. Best to just keep in touch imo (ie in the rather 'British' sense of politely over time!)
I think the key to me (for me anyway) is to have different potential ongoing 'conversations' on the go (with some decent actual contacts too of course)... then I've found I have a greater chance to get what I want more or less at the times I want it.
I've actually been in touch with some people on the Fabs for years before meeting fwiw. I don't see why that can't be the same for couples in some instances.
People need a certain type of skin with Fab I think, especially if they are sensitive to things like attention and losing it for periods.
pt |
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"In cases like this, between forcing yourself to assume this 'isn't going to happen' (and risk you forgetting each other even when you use 'notes'), to sending them an ultimatum regarding dates you both never actually made, I think it really is a good suggestion to just put people like this on the back burner and just carry on looking elsewhere.
Don't assume you are being 'ghosted' just because a couple of weeks has passed. They haven't done much wrong it seems to me. Maybe actually nothing - real life is much more important than Fab.
I think people can easily get so frustrated with Fab that they actually deal with the frustration by effectively burning bridges. But what will that bring other than more frustration? It won't 'learn em' anything that's for sure, neither will an outright block. Best to just keep in touch imo (ie in the rather 'British' sense of politely over time!)
I think the key to me (for me anyway) is to have different potential ongoing 'conversations' on the go (with some decent actual contacts too of course)... then I've found I have a greater chance to get what I want more or less at the times I want it.
I've actually been in touch with some people on the Fabs for years before meeting fwiw. I don't see why that can't be the same for couples in some instances.
People need a certain type of skin with Fab I think, especially if they are sensitive to things like attention and losing it for periods.
pt"
Very sensible thoughts |
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