FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I’ve had sex once in three weeks
I’ve had sex once in three weeks
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Give people hoops to jump through. They love it.
Seriously I've had sex about once in the last 3 years so consider yourself lucky!!!"
give me an example please 
Also do you want to have sex? Because I want to have sex…
.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Post action shot photos.
F
Safe sex or bb?
Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.
F"
I’ll delete your number right now if you’re going to brag |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Post action shot photos.
F
Safe sex or bb?
Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.
F
I’ll delete your number right now if you’re going to brag"
She came as soon as I got it all the way in  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Stop bragging  some of us are spending a fortune on batteries $-
For your Xbox?
For my X-rated box "
I have a pack of 6 Duracell batteries. Unused. Free to a good home. If you’re interested DM me to arrange collection or drop off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Post action shot photos.
F
Safe sex or bb?
Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.
F
I’ll delete your number right now if you’re going to brag
She came as soon as I got it all the way in "
Who is this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Post action shot photos.
F
Safe sex or bb?
Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.
F
I’ll delete your number right now if you’re going to brag
She came as soon as I got it all the way in
Who is this?"
The better half, who you missed out on seeing at the MLS  |
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"
So tell me how to improve my profile x
(I will not tolerate serious advice)"
Its bloody simply stop putting your pic on your profile be a man of mystery
Change your name to Elvis lie about Age . try that and report back . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Post action shot photos.
F
Safe sex or bb?
Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.
F
I’ll delete your number right now if you’re going to brag
She came as soon as I got it all the way in
Who is this?
The better half, who you missed out on seeing at the MLS "
 yeah I’m not gonna lie I was gutted |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
So tell me how to improve my profile x
(I will not tolerate serious advice)
Its bloody simply stop putting your pic on your profile be a man of mystery
Change your name to Elvis lie about Age . try that and report back ."
In the Words of Skepta- Kill another MC then go Spain and change my name to Lorenzo
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Replace your profile text with a long list of specific requirements that any partner would have to meet. That way you're only attracting the very best to ride your pole Oh and bonus points if you don't put anything else on there, like info on yourself or what you bring to the table. Gotta be mysterious. Bitches love mysterious 
LvM"
Ok I’m trusting you because you’ve managed to bag yourself a K |
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By *unchalMan
over a year ago
Dartford |
"
So tell me how to improve my profile x
(I will not tolerate serious advice)"
I haven't had sex since the kids broke up for summer! I just can't get my head together since they went back a couple of weeks ago.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’re missing the part about being a qualified massage therapist. Adding that will instantly double your chances….oh and add something about being a “discreet professional” too! |
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By *unchalMan
over a year ago
Dartford |
"Just look at other forum threads... Not enough dick pics over the toilet bowl on your profile ...
Women love to see a clean toilet  ."
They love the idea that a man loves to clean, or so I have been told. |
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By *unchalMan
over a year ago
Dartford |
"You’re missing the part about being a qualified massage therapist. Adding that will instantly double your chances….oh and add something about being a “discreet professional” too! "
No, no, 100% discreet always reassures me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Easy.
Say you're a tog and offer boudoir shoots with benefits to sexy people.
You're welcome
Mrs TMN x
Tog??
Photographer
And not sure it works lol!"
Of course.
*woody slaps his forehead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Post action shot photos.
F
Safe sex or bb?
Bb. BTW I've had sex about 10 times since Mr has been home. Let him in the forbidden hole too.
F
I’ll delete your number right now if you’re going to brag
She came as soon as I got it all the way in
Who is this?
The better half, who you missed out on seeing at the MLS
yeah I’m not gonna lie I was gutted "
In fairness you didn't miss much, I smile a lot, make crude remarks, flirt and talk (more so when I'm nervous) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do a video of cock helicopter. Will have knicker elastic snapping all across the country. Women won’t admit it but that’s the one thing they can never resist "
I mean, it's cute and all but...I've never shagged a man because of a helicopter vid. |
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"
So tell me how to improve my profile x
(I will not tolerate serious advice)"
I’ll come over & we can take pictures of me hitting you with various salad ingredients.
Trust me - you’ll be swimming in ladies  |
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"Replace your profile text with a long list of specific requirements that any partner would have to meet. That way you're only attracting the very best to ride your pole Oh and bonus points if you don't put anything else on there, like info on yourself or what you bring to the table. Gotta be mysterious. Bitches love mysterious
LvM
Ok I’m trusting you because you’ve managed to bag yourself a K"
No, K managed to bag him  if we ever meet remind me to tell you our story and don't forget to watch out for Lorenzo's eye roll when I'm telling it
Oh BTW that K that he bagged is edging him until Sunday 
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Replace your profile text with a long list of specific requirements that any partner would have to meet. That way you're only attracting the very best to ride your pole Oh and bonus points if you don't put anything else on there, like info on yourself or what you bring to the table. Gotta be mysterious. Bitches love mysterious
LvM
Ok I’m trusting you because you’ve managed to bag yourself a K
No, K managed to bag him if we ever meet remind me to tell you our story and don't forget to watch out for Lorenzo's eye roll when I'm telling it
Oh BTW that K that he bagged is edging him until Sunday
K"
Ahh the eye roll |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mean, it's cute and all but...I've never shagged a man because of a helicopter vid.
And, erm … how *does* one get you into bed? Asking for, erm, a friend. Yeah. That’s it."
Erotica |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
So tell me how to improve my profile x
(I will not tolerate serious advice)
I’ll come over & we can take pictures of me hitting you with various salad ingredients.
Trust me - you’ll be swimming in ladies "
You're wicked |
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Not enough cryptic code words hidden in 15 pages of text and containing a hieroglyph. Plus you need more rules and the tone needs to be more - ‘if you don’t… i’ll block you!’ Insist on a face pic but make Sure they know because you have a high profile job hou wont send one and you’ll turn up to meets in a balaclava!! One last thing - add several legal disclaimers at the end preferably copied from Facebook and quoting United States Statutes which are really useful In the Uk - job done!! |
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