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Playground popularity
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Remembering back to our school days.
How did you fit in?
Was you the popular kid who didn't really have to make any effort and people would flock to you Party invites and so on?
Was you a follower who was in the popular crowd but not at the top of the social stratosphere?
A individual who didn't get involved in all that nonsense?
Or the loner who nobody spoke to and you sat alone at break time?
Feel free to add other categories
So how has this carried over into adulthood have you changed or still craving to be popular?
This forum is probably the place us "less" popular kid's gather to express our opinions and still retain our individuality.
I'm going to make a guess that most people will say that they weren't part of the popular kid's?
Has this affected your life, relationships, work, friendships?
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I was a huge mix of all of those, primary school I was a loner, 1st secondary school a little geek with a few geeky friends, 2nd secondary school fairly popular and a bit of a dick.
None of it has really affected my adult life, I moved away from the area I grew up and became a loner again, I have 1 good friend and that's the way I like it.
Mrs |
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My family were military so we moved around a lot, never in one place long enough to make deep friendships.
That's carried through into adulthood. Less real friends than fingers on one hand.
Spent most of my childhood trying to fit in and failing miserably.
I'm a bit fucked up by my school years. |
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Um. I moved schools a lot, like every 3 months. I probably spent time in all the different groups at some point.
Settled and spent the most time probably in the stoner and burnout crowds overall, but just wherever I found people I enjoyed I seemed welcome enough. |
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At school we had no popular kids in our playground. The playground bullies, berserkers and antagonists were the self-proclaimed 'popularites'. I wasn't a loner but I was shy and passive, and spent most of my time minding my own business. |
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I grew up in the countryside. At small schools there isn’t so much opportunity for tribes to exist. The few of you are all in it together.
I moved to a bigger, busier, more urban place as I hit my teens and … that was different. But my background had taught me I could be part of every clique if I wanted to be. So I was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Popular kid year 7-9
Around year 9 I started to realise a lot of the “popular” kids were actually just kinda uninteresting bullies that were blessed with their looks (for the girls) or an unearned level of confidence/arrogance
Year 10 and 11 was spent with the “unpopular” kids who were actually way more interesting and just better friends in general with real hobbies and interests and aspirations |
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I was a loner and happy about it, I'd watch friends in their groups falling out and working hard to maintain friendships. Seemed like too much hassle
Not a lot has changed, prefer my own company, friendships are hard to maintain |
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At my school the popular guys were all involved in the school football teams. I wasn't one of those but I wasn't a loner either.
I was never a geek so probably fell in that middle category of not being popular or ostracised.
I was never influenced by peer pressure so I don't drink and have never felt the need to indulge just to fit in.
Personal circumstances at the time meant my normal teenage years were virtually nonexistent so I didn't go to parties or bars or meet girls.
I still don't give into peer pressure and prefer to do things my own way but in a non confrontational manner. |
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"I was very popular, everyone had their little group that they chilled with, but I was a floater friends with everyone.
The mr "
I moved around alot ended up in a really rough south west London school , found my friend group through our love of hip hop music and dancing.
It was in it's very early days back then so there was only a few of us.
But it was at a time of great racial tensions in the early/mid 80's
So a fair amount of tribalism.
Fighting on a mass scale daily occurrence.
I tried to keep our of it but inevitably you get dragged into things one way or another.
Ended up getting beat half to death by a bunch of national front thug's for having non white friends.
Been a loner ever since. |
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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago
Gosport |
I should probably add that my parents moved when I was 13 so I went to a new school in a new town and managed to break free from most of the bullying then.
I have always been a bit of a loner and uncomfortable around others but that may be due, at least on parts, to other issues in my case. |
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Loner/ weirdo.
I've had a lot of shit to unpack as an adult. School was a hazing ritual. I hated it.
It's made me really value my individuality, despite strong people pleasing/ conformist tendencies. And see all the schoolyard antics that continue in adults of all ages. Fuck all of that noise, I'm not held captive to that anymore - I can and will tell those putting pressure on me to fuck off, in so many words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was popular in secondary school and was voted head boy in sixth form. I enjoyed school mostly. "
School hasn’t really impacted my life since leaving because of experiences that have impacted my mental health and have had a greater impact on my interactions. But we move init. Charge it. |
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Loner. Wanted to join in but was one of those who behaved, did my homework and enjoyed learning so I wasn’t invited. I really annoyed people as I was good at sport and they had to put me in the team although they did try not passing to me until that became so obvious the teachers intervened ,not to protect me but because they wanted to win and I gave them a much better chance!
I hated my school mates, not school. |
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By *tooveMan
over a year ago
belfast |
Had very few friends at school. Was from a working class area so got a lot of stick about how I spoke etc. Rugby wankers tried to bully me but my friends from the estate put a stop to that. Ended any chance one of them ever had at making it in rugby.
Was left alone then. |
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By *rLordMan
over a year ago
Swadlincote |
Great time at school, got bullied a little ( well tied) because I was bit of a head down learn something. But senior school was so much fun building stuff, playing with Mandy. Good Times |
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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
Secondary school I was Miss sensible and mixed with lots of different groups but I was not part of the popular group
Age 15-16 I went out with the school heartthrob which made me a target of the popular girls as “he belonged” to their group or so they thought |
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Popular but had friends from all of the categories. Wasn’t the wanker that would take the loss out of the others . Played a lot of sport and never got in trouble . Boxing from the age of 10 probably helped . I’d Like to think I was a nice kid . But I was very shy with the ladies till beer came along ?? |
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Possibly the most intelligent kid in the school, but obviously didn't realise that at the time. Lessons pitched at the wrong level for you can equal you seeming to be stupid. Back then everything had to be handwritten, no computers or anything like that, and it was actually mentally painful to be limited to such a slow method of work. Imagine trying to write an essay when you know that it's impossible to change a word once it's been committed to paper without re-writing the whole thing (work could get marked down for spelling mistakes and corrections).
Social group was a small handful of others that didn't fit one way or another - no idea now what happened to any of them. Didn't know how to interact with girls on a romantic/sexual level, and was frightened that any attempt might destroy whatever slight friendship had been acheived. So at the time when others in my age group were starting to form boyfriend-girlfriend couples, I was most lonely.
All in all my tendency to overthink and overanalyse everything to do with relationships has blighted my life from about age 10 right the way through to now. Playground popularity, or lack of it, is still with me now and undoubtedly a major factor in my sex life, or lack of it. |
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"Possibly the most intelligent kid in the school, but obviously didn't realise that at the time. Lessons pitched at the wrong level for you can equal you seeming to be stupid. Back then everything had to be handwritten, no computers or anything like that, and it was actually mentally painful to be limited to such a slow method of work. Imagine trying to write an essay when you know that it's impossible to change a word once it's been committed to paper without re-writing the whole thing (work could get marked down for spelling mistakes and corrections).
Social group was a small handful of others that didn't fit one way or another - no idea now what happened to any of them. Didn't know how to interact with girls on a romantic/sexual level, and was frightened that any attempt might destroy whatever slight friendship had been acheived. So at the time when others in my age group were starting to form boyfriend-girlfriend couples, I was most lonely.
All in all my tendency to overthink and overanalyse everything to do with relationships has blighted my life from about age 10 right the way through to now. Playground popularity, or lack of it, is still with me now and undoubtedly a major factor in my sex life, or lack of it."
Interesting  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Remembering back to our school days.
How did you fit in?
Was you the popular kid who didn't really have to make any effort and people would flock to you Party invites and so on?
Was you a follower who was in the popular crowd but not at the top of the social stratosphere?
A individual who didn't get involved in all that nonsense?
Or the loner who nobody spoke to and you sat alone at break time?
Feel free to add other categories
So how has this carried over into adulthood have you changed or still craving to be popular?
This forum is probably the place us "less" popular kid's gather to express our opinions and still retain our individuality.
I'm going to make a guess that most people will say that they weren't part of the popular kid's?
Has this affected your life, relationships, work, friendships?
"
Fucking hell.
Ive only just got over my counselling session today and this is the first thing I read.
To answer....and I'll leave out most answers and my thoughts.
I was bullied at school, I was bullied out of school,
My hair spat in on the school bus, my school bag emptied piece by piece out of the bus window, hit, constantly ridiculed for something I could do nothing about, mocked for another reason I could do nothing about, kids being nasty about what I looked like, what I wore, what I had and didn't have, people stirring up trouble by making up stories to get the 'hard' people to beat the shit out of me.
I was actually moved out of my first secondary school because of the bullies.
Has it affected me...of course it has. I think people can be really nasty cunts. I'm cautious. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I had a few classmates I'd play with in the infants at break and lunch.
In junior school there were 3 of us for a while but one was a horrible child and would tell me to not talk to the other girl one day, then the next day they weren't talking to me.
My best friend was in the year below so we didn't play together as she was in a different playground for the first year.
We had lunch ladies who organised games for us that we all joined in with.
In the last year of juniors a new girl started who lived on my block so we walked to school together in the seniors.
I was part of the popular group but I spent time in the music room and chatting to the not so popular girls.
I wasn't particularly sociable by the time I left school.
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By *assy69Man
over a year ago
West Sussex and Wales |
"Remembering back to our school days.
How did you fit in?
Was you the popular kid who didn't really have to make any effort and people would flock to you Party invites and so on?
Was you a follower who was in the popular crowd but not at the top of the social stratosphere?
A individual who didn't get involved in all that nonsense?
Or the loner who nobody spoke to and you sat alone at break time?
Feel free to add other categories
So how has this carried over into adulthood have you changed or still craving to be popular?
This forum is probably the place us "less" popular kid's gather to express our opinions and still retain our individuality.
I'm going to make a guess that most people will say that they weren't part of the popular kid's?
Has this affected your life, relationships, work, friendships?
"
Was the crazy school freak that no one could figure out, so the other kids stayed away, the teachers tried to test me and pigeon hole me, without success…… even my own family think I am an odd ball and keep me at arms length lol….. it all suited me at the time and gave me the space I needed to find myself  |
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Definitely wasn’t a follower but wasn’t a leader either. I was just part of the crowd I suppose. I did always stick up for the ones that were bullied though without fear of any consequences. It upset me then as much as it does now. I cannot abide bullies. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Primary school I was pretty awesome. Liked by most, got on and all the usual stuff. Had a few fights that were started by others, but that went old news fast and we all got over it.
High school it all changed. Groups and cliques formed. I was the loner for sure, I didn't find much of a draw to any of them but at the same time accepted by most, a nomad with no affiliation to another grouo. I had friends more than I have now but it was more friends of convenience I guess, other "outsiders".
I was never bullied though. I was in the position to see everyone for whom they were to others. People are cunts but at the same time there were not any actual bullies to the point of singling people out, it was more a case of simply cliques and groups vs others. |
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What a fascinating question. I had close friends, whom were like brothers and sisters from another mother.
I became involved in a variety of groups as a consequence, but never enjoyed getting drawn into the group dynamics and popularity games. Stoners, rugby nuts, skaters and surfers, geeks and gamers, townies, clubbers and ravers. Dabbled in them all and enjoyed it.
The fringe elements and stragglers have always been my people. Those whom aren't focused on popularity or status - I find to have the most interesting personalities. And most able to be themselves.
I never enjoyed people flocking to me. I've never understood the desire for that kind of attention. Seems like a lot stress for naught to me. The only time I can think of enjoying that is when I graduated and my friends, carried me around town like a trophy as: 'One of us got a first' that was done purely out of love though it could have been any of us.
I'm pretty much the same. I'm sure not playing the popularity game has limited opportunities on some levels. But then the great loves I've had, I don't think they would have loved me. And I would wake up looking in the mirror asking who are you? |
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"Possibly the most intelligent kid in the school, but obviously didn't realise that at the time. Lessons pitched at the wrong level for you can equal you seeming to be stupid. Back then everything had to be handwritten, no computers or anything like that, and it was actually mentally painful to be limited to such a slow method of work. Imagine trying to write an essay when you know that it's impossible to change a word once it's been committed to paper without re-writing the whole thing (work could get marked down for spelling mistakes and corrections).
Social group was a small handful of others that didn't fit one way or another - no idea now what happened to any of them. Didn't know how to interact with girls on a romantic/sexual level, and was frightened that any attempt might destroy whatever slight friendship had been acheived. So at the time when others in my age group were starting to form boyfriend-girlfriend couples, I was most lonely.
All in all my tendency to overthink and overanalyse everything to do with relationships has blighted my life from about age 10 right the way through to now. Playground popularity, or lack of it, is still with me now and undoubtedly a major factor in my sex life, or lack of it.
Interesting "
Is that "interesting" as in "you actually seem quite nice, we should meet up some day"? Or "interesting" as in "you are a complete nutter, stay away from us, they should use you as a case study in psychopathy"? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never wanted to be popular or party girl.
I hated junior school teachers were bullies... I spent time being an unpaid teaching assistant.
Big school was shite.. Waste of time. Rather be that girl helping my peers |
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"Possibly the most intelligent kid in the school, but obviously didn't realise that at the time. Lessons pitched at the wrong level for you can equal you seeming to be stupid. Back then everything had to be handwritten, no computers or anything like that, and it was actually mentally painful to be limited to such a slow method of work. Imagine trying to write an essay when you know that it's impossible to change a word once it's been committed to paper without re-writing the whole thing (work could get marked down for spelling mistakes and corrections).
Social group was a small handful of others that didn't fit one way or another - no idea now what happened to any of them. Didn't know how to interact with girls on a romantic/sexual level, and was frightened that any attempt might destroy whatever slight friendship had been acheived. So at the time when others in my age group were starting to form boyfriend-girlfriend couples, I was most lonely.
All in all my tendency to overthink and overanalyse everything to do with relationships has blighted my life from about age 10 right the way through to now. Playground popularity, or lack of it, is still with me now and undoubtedly a major factor in my sex life, or lack of it.
Interesting
Is that "interesting" as in "you actually seem quite nice, we should meet up some day"? Or "interesting" as in "you are a complete nutter, stay away from us, they should use you as a case study in psychopathy"?"
Lol neither just an interesting response. |
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By *929Man
over a year ago
newcastle |
In first school was a loner as was really shy and quiet. One break time I was just sitting on the steps and another laddie was sitting alone further along he asked my name and told me his shook hands and from then on were best mates but it didn’t last long he was shipped off to special school.
Wouldn’t exactly say was popular later on in middle and high school but was well liked as was a worky ticket which everyone found amusing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was a bit of a loner. I was always upset. I was always taken advantage of. I was bullied every single day, punched, slapped, kicked, threatened and every day was horrendous knowing something bad was going to happen. I was always in the back of a class unable to concentrate because I was so sick with anxiety and depression. I was nearly killed, thrown in front of cars. I once spent six months inside a toilet cubicle in school and not one teacher noted my absence. I tried to kill myself. I had no real friends, everyone was fake and horrible. I had such a rough time, and my heart breaks thinking about little me suffering for so long and having no respite from it all. I hated myself, always felt like there was something wrong with me.
I'm a lot different now but it took a long time to get here. I'm very confident and I have a small circle of good friends that I'm so grateful for. I still have little niggles that probably stem from my school days, sometimes I feel like I'm never good enough and I really dislike my face and I think that's because my appearance was constantly pulled apart. But over the last few years I have found a true sense of peace in myself, and I'm doing better than ever. I am so worthy, and I actually think I'm a pretty good soul.
But my god, kids are cruel little fuckers. I'll make sure to raise my kids to be better. |
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Military family so moved every few years. Never settled. Popular kid that played the fool. Stood up to bullies and for my efforts for filled in a bit.
Moved to boarding school at 11. Thrived. Popular kid and still regarded as part of the A team despite being a non smoker by the cool kids in the 'bike sheds'. Had a serious bully in the year who was a little mental, had more fights with him than anyone in my life record probably stands at W8 (1 by KO lol) L4 D10
Headmaster jailed for 20 plus years. Latin teacher caught by Interpol and jailed for 15. House parent jailed for 10. I bet you can guess what for.
For better or worse it made me the man I am today. Still fuckin hate bullies. Still popular and bring light and life to most parties. Definitely have boarding school syndrome. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Remembering back to our school days.
How did you fit in?
Was you the popular kid who didn't really have to make any effort and people would flock to you Party invites and so on?
Was you a follower who was in the popular crowd but not at the top of the social stratosphere?
A individual who didn't get involved in all that nonsense?
Or the loner who nobody spoke to and you sat alone at break time?
Feel free to add other categories
So how has this carried over into adulthood have you changed or still craving to be popular?
This forum is probably the place us "less" popular kid's gather to express our opinions and still retain our individuality.
I'm going to make a guess that most people will say that they weren't part of the popular kid's?
Has this affected your life, relationships, work, friendships?
Fucking hell.
Ive only just got over my counselling session today and this is the first thing I read.
To answer....and I'll leave out most answers and my thoughts.
I was bullied at school, I was bullied out of school,
My hair spat in on the school bus, my school bag emptied piece by piece out of the bus window, hit, constantly ridiculed for something I could do nothing about, mocked for another reason I could do nothing about, kids being nasty about what I looked like, what I wore, what I had and didn't have, people stirring up trouble by making up stories to get the 'hard' people to beat the shit out of me.
I was actually moved out of my first secondary school because of the bullies.
Has it affected me...of course it has. I think people can be really nasty cunts. I'm cautious."
Sounds all too familiar. I ended up changing school four times. And at 16 I went into a hospital school for a few months because I couldn't handle it anymore.
Sending you and little you some love. |
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"Remembering back to our school days.
How did you fit in?
Was you the popular kid who didn't really have to make any effort and people would flock to you Party invites and so on?
Was you a follower who was in the popular crowd but not at the top of the social stratosphere?
A individual who didn't get involved in all that nonsense?
Or the loner who nobody spoke to and you sat alone at break time?
Feel free to add other categories
So how has this carried over into adulthood have you changed or still craving to be popular?
This forum is probably the place us "less" popular kid's gather to express our opinions and still retain our individuality.
I'm going to make a guess that most people will say that they weren't part of the popular kid's?
Has this affected your life, relationships, work, friendships?
Fucking hell.
Ive only just got over my counselling session today and this is the first thing I read.
To answer....and I'll leave out most answers and my thoughts.
I was bullied at school, I was bullied out of school,
My hair spat in on the school bus, my school bag emptied piece by piece out of the bus window, hit, constantly ridiculed for something I could do nothing about, mocked for another reason I could do nothing about, kids being nasty about what I looked like, what I wore, what I had and didn't have, people stirring up trouble by making up stories to get the 'hard' people to beat the shit out of me.
I was actually moved out of my first secondary school because of the bullies.
Has it affected me...of course it has. I think people can be really nasty cunts. I'm cautious.
Sounds all too familiar. I ended up changing school four times. And at 16 I went into a hospital school for a few months because I couldn't handle it anymore.
Sending you and little you some love. "
Fucking hell  |
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"I was a bit of a loner. I was always upset. I was always taken advantage of. I was bullied every single day, punched, slapped, kicked, threatened and every day was horrendous knowing something bad was going to happen. I was always in the back of a class unable to concentrate because I was so sick with anxiety and depression. I was nearly killed, thrown in front of cars. I once spent six months inside a toilet cubicle in school and not one teacher noted my absence. I tried to kill myself. I had no real friends, everyone was fake and horrible. I had such a rough time, and my heart breaks thinking about little me suffering for so long and having no respite from it all. I hated myself, always felt like there was something wrong with me.
I'm a lot different now but it took a long time to get here. I'm very confident and I have a small circle of good friends that I'm so grateful for. I still have little niggles that probably stem from my school days, sometimes I feel like I'm never good enough and I really dislike my face and I think that's because my appearance was constantly pulled apart. But over the last few years I have found a true sense of peace in myself, and I'm doing better than ever. I am so worthy, and I actually think I'm a pretty good soul.
But my god, kids are cruel little fuckers. I'll make sure to raise my kids to be better. "
Lord that’s rough! |
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"My family were military so we moved around a lot, never in one place long enough to make deep friendships.
That's carried through into adulthood. Less real friends than fingers on one hand.
Spent most of my childhood trying to fit in and failing miserably.
I'm a bit fucked up by my school years."
So relate to this my experience as well, then throw boarding school into the mix, to fuck up a fucked up kid even more....separation issues are real |
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By *929Man
over a year ago
newcastle |
"I was a bit of a loner. I was always upset. I was always taken advantage of. I was bullied every single day, punched, slapped, kicked, threatened and every day was horrendous knowing something bad was going to happen. I was always in the back of a class unable to concentrate because I was so sick with anxiety and depression. I was nearly killed, thrown in front of cars. I once spent six months inside a toilet cubicle in school and not one teacher noted my absence. I tried to kill myself. I had no real friends, everyone was fake and horrible. I had such a rough time, and my heart breaks thinking about little me suffering for so long and having no respite from it all. I hated myself, always felt like there was something wrong with me.
I'm a lot different now but it took a long time to get here. I'm very confident and I have a small circle of good friends that I'm so grateful for. I still have little niggles that probably stem from my school days, sometimes I feel like I'm never good enough and I really dislike my face and I think that's because my appearance was constantly pulled apart. But over the last few years I have found a true sense of peace in myself, and I'm doing better than ever. I am so worthy, and I actually think I'm a pretty good soul.
But my god, kids are cruel little fuckers. I'll make sure to raise my kids to be better. "
That’s horrific
truly heartbreaking to even imagine a little lassie getting treat like that. |
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I wish I hadn't read this thread...my heartfelt sympathies to all of you that went through such god-awful times. I thought I'd had it bad as one of only 3 black kids in a old-style grammar school back in the day, but in comparison, I got off light...  |
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I don't have any traumatic school day memories
In terms of fitting in, I always had friends, albeit friendship groups changed occasionally.
I don't remember being part of a group that were outcasts or anything.
Adult friendships have probably been pretty similar |
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