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Chronic Overthinkers' Club
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I am a chronic overthinker and it has led to me missing out on all kinds of experiences down the years as I come up with reasons not to do things rather than just going for them.
Are you also an overthinker and if so, do you have any techniques to shut the unnecessary thoughts down so you can just get on with life, sex and other Demons? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I used to be an awful overthinker.
Learned behaviour to a certain degree; I guess it's almost a form of anxiety. Sometimes I'd be able to find peace from it, like after sex, or even during it. Playing the violin because it's hard to think about too much and I can just switch off.
Over the past few months I've started to find my own peace. When my mind starts whirring, I'll say nope. Not doing this.
Or I do the and then game which a friend taught me - basically saying and then to every point which helps me realise the absurdity.
I'm a big believer of mindfulness as well. Taking that time to being actually present in the moment, not thinking about the future, just enjoying and appreciating the hear and now. Whether it's a far too comfy bed, listening to the birds or cooking and enjoying the process.
I've also found that the right people can still my mind - I'd not really experienced it before in such a way. For me my mind is chaotic. When I'm around someone it feels like my soul is calm. My waffling and curiosity stops and I can just be. |
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"I used to be an awful overthinker.
Learned behaviour to a certain degree; I guess it's almost a form of anxiety. Sometimes I'd be able to find peace from it, like after sex, or even during it. Playing the violin because it's hard to think about too much and I can just switch off.
Over the past few months I've started to find my own peace. When my mind starts whirring, I'll say nope. Not doing this.
Or I do the and then game which a friend taught me - basically saying and then to every point which helps me realise the absurdity.
I'm a big believer of mindfulness as well. Taking that time to being actually present in the moment, not thinking about the future, just enjoying and appreciating the hear and now. Whether it's a far too comfy bed, listening to the birds or cooking and enjoying the process.
I've also found that the right people can still my mind - I'd not really experienced it before in such a way. For me my mind is chaotic. When I'm around someone it feels like my soul is calm. My waffling and curiosity stops and I can just be."
This is great to read Meli - I'm pleased for you and it offers hope to the rest of us. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I was lucky to have a mentor about 10 years ago , which was kinda like therapy for business I guess!
But he picked up very quickly. I often thought through all the things that could go wrong, rather than all the awesome possibilities, and the root cause, was actually fear of failing.
So we did some work on what it means to be bold, confidence, which I had lots of vs courage. It was so powerful , so I even took ‘being bold’ as a non-negotiable for hiring in the next company |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep definitely in this club! I’m an introvert so in my head most of the time anyway, if that makes sense. No idea what to do about it really; just my wiring. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I used to be an awful overthinker.
Learned behaviour to a certain degree; I guess it's almost a form of anxiety. Sometimes I'd be able to find peace from it, like after sex, or even during it. Playing the violin because it's hard to think about too much and I can just switch off.
Over the past few months I've started to find my own peace. When my mind starts whirring, I'll say nope. Not doing this.
Or I do the and then game which a friend taught me - basically saying and then to every point which helps me realise the absurdity.
I'm a big believer of mindfulness as well. Taking that time to being actually present in the moment, not thinking about the future, just enjoying and appreciating the hear and now. Whether it's a far too comfy bed, listening to the birds or cooking and enjoying the process.
I've also found that the right people can still my mind - I'd not really experienced it before in such a way. For me my mind is chaotic. When I'm around someone it feels like my soul is calm. My waffling and curiosity stops and I can just be.
This is great to read Meli - I'm pleased for you and it offers hope to the rest of us. "
I'm still very much a work in progress! I have the odd little blips but they're far fewer. It started with the little things, building my confidence, applying for membership to something I've wanted to join for years...
I've realised the happier I am, the more comfortable I am the less I overthink. Like yesterday - me earlier in the year would have overthought and said no. Soon you realise, and truly know it's wasted energy. |
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"I used to be an awful overthinker.
Learned behaviour to a certain degree; I guess it's almost a form of anxiety. Sometimes I'd be able to find peace from it, like after sex, or even during it. Playing the violin because it's hard to think about too much and I can just switch off.
Over the past few months I've started to find my own peace. When my mind starts whirring, I'll say nope. Not doing this.
Or I do the and then game which a friend taught me - basically saying and then to every point which helps me realise the absurdity.
I'm a big believer of mindfulness as well. Taking that time to being actually present in the moment, not thinking about the future, just enjoying and appreciating the hear and now. Whether it's a far too comfy bed, listening to the birds or cooking and enjoying the process.
I've also found that the right people can still my mind - I'd not really experienced it before in such a way. For me my mind is chaotic. When I'm around someone it feels like my soul is calm. My waffling and curiosity stops and I can just be.
This is great to read Meli - I'm pleased for you and it offers hope to the rest of us.
I'm still very much a work in progress! I have the odd little blips but they're far fewer. It started with the little things, building my confidence, applying for membership to something I've wanted to join for years...
I've realised the happier I am, the more comfortable I am the less I overthink. Like yesterday - me earlier in the year would have overthought and said no. Soon you realise, and truly know it's wasted energy."
I don't know what happened yesterday but it sounds like it worked out well that you said yes! I should take you as a role model. |
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By *mf123Man
over a year ago
with one foot out the door |
Only during the dark days would i question myself and think of other peoples motivations and i found it far too dangerous since then iv been trying not to think at all and try stack up concussions and shake thinking from my brain
Its working |
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I’ve just spent 10 minutes wondering what the right response to this is, whether I should post and how people might judge me for the post.
Yes I over think!
I’ve realised that the root for me is the inner critic - the voice that says ‘you’re not good enough’ or ‘what will people think’ or something like that (we each have our own voice). Learning to master that critic and tell it to butt out as I know what I’m doing has helped loads.
A little ted talk by Steve chapman - dancing with the inner critic is worth a watch. |
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By *929Man
over a year ago
newcastle |
Can be prone to it with a lot of things but especially spending, I go back and forth on literally every single non essential purchase and eventually will overthink to the point where 9 times out of 10 I’ll talk myself out of it, even small things and eventually convince myself that it’s money I could have spent on the kids or saved for the future.
An example is when I changed my door cylinder for a thumb turn one but managed to smash the latch mechanism in the process, because I’d caused unnecessary expense I refused to fix it for ages despite not being able to lock my door. Once my smaller wacker at work got nicked off a job at nite and to justify buying a new one I had to sell other tools that I didn’t use often to justify buying a new one |
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I'm an underthinker most of the time and very occasionally an over thinker.
Under thinking leads to mistakes.
I saw a woman on TV who overthought so much she couldn't walk past people in the street without going through every possible outcome. I felt deeply sorry for her |
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Apologies ive seen many a doc, been in a few mens groups etc but for me i believe i have always been an introvert, Overthinking for me, as some of uve have said, has stopped us living the kinda life we wanna live. Add this to social anxiety, anxiety about work, about being good enough, the list is endless tbh lol so ive kinda given up trying to be someone am not. |
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I still overthink things to death.
But at least included in there are the questions of why am I pulling it apart like this and do I actually want to do the thing.
Mrs 