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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why do people arrange a meet and then ghost you? No replies to messages no nothing? It's happened twice to us now and it's really frustrating. Anyone else had this happen to them? |
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"Why do people arrange a meet and then ghost you? No replies to messages no nothing? It's happened twice to us now and it's really frustrating. Anyone else had this happen to them?
"
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It's just their way of saying they're out for whatever reason (and the reasons don't matter to me personally, unless they got back and it happened again).
It's possible you've just missed a bad meet, ie a meet that someone forces themselves to go to perhaps - and who wants one of them?
But who knows? If they wanted to, they'd apologise etc.
pt |
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"Why do people arrange a meet and then ghost you? No replies to messages no nothing? It's happened twice to us now and it's really frustrating. Anyone else had this happen to them? "
Becuz some ppl are massive cunts |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah that's basically how we feel about it tonight ghandi, we sorted a babysitter out and everything. It's a shame, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Because some people on here are absolutely amazing and so friendly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You gave them enough chat to spunk up over "
funny you should say that we've also noticed soon as people get to our private pictures and videos in friends only they disappear too. Maybe need to rethink this. |
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It's happened to us on numerous occasions, we normally go with a back up plan of a date night/day for ourselves then it seems to ease the situation a little.
This is how the cookie unfortunately crumbles at times and why yes common courtesy would suggest to let people know they can't make a meet, we understand that nobody on here owes anyone anything... not even a explanation (as frustrating as it might be at times) our lessons have been learnt that's why we now don't give anyone any 2nd chances under and circumstances and we would expect the same if we was to ghost or cancel on someone  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happens all the time. Except what it happens to me it’s a non issue, I just go about my normal day. Sucks you had a baby sitter organised and everything.
Sadly, there’s not much you can do about it either. I’ve had women that gave all the chat, ticked all the boxes and on the night just vanished. It’s just part of the game  |
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I'm sorry to hear this OP. I've never been ghosted: intuition, gut feel and the fact that I mostly (but not exclusively) chat for weeks or months before meeting could be my saving grace.
I rarely accept friend requests; I'm aware others only do so after they've had a social or 'meet'.
Perhaps only engage with those who are verified? Nothing is infallible. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I had one do it.
And it was shocking who.
Alright, alright, I said sorry! I really did need to take my friend's cat to the vet.
Mrs TMN x"
You probably should have phrased the 'sorry, can't make it now message better than 'really sorry, I'm tied up today now as a man has to inspect my friends pussy'.
Might have helped.......    |
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"Yeah we will have plan b's in future
"
Plan Bs are essential I think (not just another lay), especially when travelling. Anything can happen at the end of the day, even if someone is really apologetic.
pt |
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"Yeah that's basically how we feel about it tonight ghandi, we sorted a babysitter out and everything. It's a shame, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Because some people on here are absolutely amazing and so friendly. "
Maybe next time you arrange a meet have a back up contingency such as a club visit. Seems a real waste to set up baby sitters and then not use them. |
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OP if it is happening regularly then I would suggest that you might want a different approach to finding who you are meeting is real or not. Clearly your current approach isn’t working so you need to do something different. |
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"You gave them enough chat to spunk up over
funny you should say that we've also noticed soon as people get to our private pictures and videos in friends only they disappear too. Maybe need to rethink this. "
Don't add anyone you haven't met. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly it happens.
Some people just have no respect.
As for a plan be, dont make it another person, just a different plan. It might have been they you were the plan b and plan a worked out!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t get what people get out of arranging a meet and then not turning up! I would much rather turn up and have a brilliant naughty time than hide behind a screen and waste someone’s time! That doesn’t sound like fun to me! |
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"You gave them enough chat to spunk up over
funny you should say that we've also noticed soon as people get to our private pictures and videos in friends only they disappear too. Maybe need to rethink this. "
You have to find what works for you to stop this stuff happening..Everyone on our friends list we have met in socials and clubs and we do all our meeting of new people the same way …
We’ve never been ghosted or stood up so we are obviously doing something right .. |
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"I don’t get what people get out of arranging a meet and then not turning up! I would much rather turn up and have a brilliant naughty time than hide behind a screen and waste someone’s time! That doesn’t sound like fun to me
"
Does turning up always equal a great time though? I can't really of anything worse than a sex meet where someone doesn't really want to be there - assuming they changed their minds rather than couldn't do it for other reasons - but both mean they ultimately can't do it to me.
The problem here is the rudeness surely, the 'backing out' just happens sometimes.
Personally I always expect around 50/50 cancellation anyway, as it's kind of like that with people I've known for years.
pt
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t get what people get out of arranging a meet and then not turning up! I would much rather turn up and have a brilliant naughty time than hide behind a screen and waste someone’s time! That doesn’t sound like fun to me
My point was why arrange a meet if you have no intention of turning up. I get that it might not necessarily be the best night but if you don’t turn up you will never find out!!!
Does turning up always equal a great time though? I can't really of anything worse than a sex meet where someone doesn't really want to be there - assuming they changed their minds rather than couldn't do it for other reasons - but both mean they ultimately can't do it to me.
The problem here is the rudeness surely, the 'backing out' just happens sometimes.
Personally I always expect around 50/50 cancellation anyway, as it's kind of like that with people I've known for years.
pt
"
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"You gave them enough chat to spunk up over
funny you should say that we've also noticed soon as people get to our private pictures and videos in friends only they disappear too. Maybe need to rethink this.
You have to find what works for you to stop this stuff happening..Everyone on our friends list we have met in socials and clubs and we do all our meeting of new people the same way …
We’ve never been ghosted or stood up so we are obviously doing something right .."
Everyone deserves 1 chance, your way of doing things is not wrong but there are some people that wouldn't go to a swingers club or party because its not for them
They would prefer a 1 on 1 or 3 sum doesn't mean they don't deserve a chance to get a meet.
Just about taking things with a pinch of salt, some people are flaky some are genuine |
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"I don’t get what people get out of arranging a meet and then not turning up! I would much rather turn up and have a brilliant naughty time than hide behind a screen and waste someone’s time! That doesn’t sound like fun to me
Does turning up always equal a great time though? I can't really of anything worse than a sex meet where someone doesn't really want to be there - assuming they changed their minds rather than couldn't do it for other reasons - but both mean they ultimately can't do it to me.
The problem here is the rudeness surely, the 'backing out' just happens sometimes.
Personally I always expect around 50/50 cancellation anyway, as it's kind of like that with people I've known for years.
pt
My point was why arrange a meet if you have no intention of turning up. I get that it might not necessarily be the best night but if you don’t turn up you will never find out!!!
"
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I see your point, I just suspect that that kind of timewasting (probably the only genuine timewasting) is only a fairly-small percentage of what goes on ultimately. imo anyway.
pt |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You gave them enough chat to spunk up over
funny you should say that we've also noticed soon as people get to our private pictures and videos in friends only they disappear too. Maybe need to rethink this.
You have to find what works for you to stop this stuff happening..Everyone on our friends list we have met in socials and clubs and we do all our meeting of new people the same way …
We’ve never been ghosted or stood up so we are obviously doing something right .."
This is what we are going to do I think it's just happening way to often |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think we trust people too easily that's changed after tonight x
Making a big play of Mrs lack of confidence is music to the ears of the fantasists "
It's the truth I want her to see how much her body is admired is that so wrong? |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
if you constantly keep getting messed around then you need to look at yourselves and ask your self what you are doing wrong and how can you make your process of picking meets real ...
look its a fact that as soon as online became available swinging / kink site got filled up with 75% of non players maybe even more to most its a wank site perv you pics and vids them you have those who like the thrill of the chase or prick teasing and then thoses who just want to chat and nothing else thats 75% of the site out to waste your time for there thrill...
far to many in this lifestyle are far to trusting trust has to be earnt ...we never accept a friends invite unless we actually know them from clubs or have met we control our pics they only get to see what we want them to see no videos as all that does is attract the wankers ... any sex talk within the first 4 or 5 messages = block they want a wank not a meet if they start that too early .....
i/we are very strict who we meet via online we could get 500 messages and not one turn our heads without using any apps or phone or cams/video or email we can sort the genuine out 99.9% of the time ... i can not remember the last time we were let down its years ...getting a meet should not be easy and another thing if you plan a meet anything over 5 to 7 days ahead will only increase no shows ...
you need thick skin and to be blunt and cold at times to work this scene out ... but it can be done you can make the messer's disappear with a few simple changes
people pray on the weak ..its always been the case ..
and yes there is no 100% way but 99.9% aint bad |
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I think Foxys post makes a lot of good points. There is a large % of men on this site who are just here to wank. Messaging you is because it gives then a better wank if they feel they have some relationship with the object of their wank. It's why OF has taken off. These men will never meet. The idea of meeting makes them hornier but that's not what they are really after. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we trust people too easily that's changed after tonight x
Making a big play of Mrs lack of confidence is music to the ears of the fantasists
It's the truth I want her to see how much her body is admired is that so wrong? "
You're telling anyone who reads that your wife has some trauma in her past, shes not body confident and she suffers from anxiety. Sometimes you can share too much with strangers.  |
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"Why do people arrange a meet and then ghost you? No replies to messages no nothing? It's happened twice to us now and it's really frustrating. Anyone else had this happen to them? "
This is one of the reasons why I rarely look for meets on fab and go to clubs and socials. You develop a better feeling for ppl in person. It's a lot harder to discern between genuine and the disingenuous online. As your missing thr vitals of body language and the rest you pick up on through in person conversations. |
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"You gave them enough chat to spunk up over
funny you should say that we've also noticed soon as people get to our private pictures and videos in friends only they disappear too. Maybe need to rethink this. "
I'm not sure how long you've been here. But you do develop good boundaries and decent instincts if you're here a while.
Fwiw I'd relax, chat for longer, be less willing to share pics etc. See who is interested and genuine with you then.
There are good people here that do meet and are worth getting naked with.
Get to know them.
Good luck OP. |
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