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Tantric sex and tantra.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Does it have a place in swinging? Is it already the first step with everyone who says they need some kind of connection?
I pretty much in tune with myself, and I’ve spoken to others in the past how it interests me, and I could probably reach a climax without the penetration during sex. IF I was with someone with the same feelings right there and then.
I’m interested to know if you can form that kind of thing without the deeper loving relationship with someone. 
* It might not be the right place to even ask, but who the f… else am I going to ask? My workmates?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tantra is not synonymous with love.
I think we can get caught up in thinking breath and eye gazing and touch with presence equates a deep level of love.
Energetic sex and orgasm that is felt in every part of the body are beautiful, but do not promise that love is present. I think that is why there can be a deep core loneliness that is hard to quell in those who regularly partake in tantra with many partners.
At the end of the day, tantra is a part of a puzzle but not the puzzle itself.
Tantra is a way to communicate love, but it is also a smoke screen. It is a way to deepen a connection between lovers and it can also be a way to distract us. Like all good things can do.
In terms of connections and those here who may be seeking them. I don’t see this an extension of tantric sex.
Peesonally, I am not impressed by sex that can last for 8 hours in a meditative state. Or sex that connects me to myself. I am more impressed by how lovers take care of each other after the hit of brain chemicals subsides, the community that is built when making and nourishing connections, the vulnerability of sharing deep needs and fears, the owning and cleaning up of messes made, the inquiry into eachothers’ passions, the creating of connection and letting a relationship change where it’s not driven solely by sex but sex fuels it all the same.
I am shortchanging myself if I let those things slide and instead focus on the sex alone. That’s building a connection, and for me it doesn’t happen in one hour, or one meet up. It’s also not linear.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tantra is not synonymous with love.
I think we can get caught up in thinking breath and eye gazing and touch with presence equates a deep level of love.
….
I am shortchanging myself if I let those things slide and instead focus on the sex alone. That’s building a connection, and for me it doesn’t happen in one hour, or one meet up. It’s also not linear.
"
Thanks for giving me your views.
I know I’m not going to get all the answers I need, but people views do help in me find where I am in all of this.
I somewhat agree with the fact you might not need a deep level of love. And that’s why I asked at the start.
And to relate to you shortchanging yourself, I don’t think sex alone is enough for me. It’s fun, it hits a certain spot in life where you wind down kinda. But something that can be described as an orgasm for the soul, can only be given to me by a level of connection to someone, or by myself, because after all, you know what you want and need more than anyone right?
But how would someone know if you don’t get to tell them.
Put up a meet request and hope for the best?
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"Tantra is not synonymous with love.
I think we can get caught up in thinking breath and eye gazing and touch with presence equates a deep level of love.
Energetic sex and orgasm that is felt in every part of the body are beautiful, but do not promise that love is present. I think that is why there can be a deep core loneliness that is hard to quell in those who regularly partake in tantra with many partners.
At the end of the day, tantra is a part of a puzzle but not the puzzle itself.
Tantra is a way to communicate love, but it is also a smoke screen. It is a way to deepen a connection between lovers and it can also be a way to distract us. Like all good things can do.
In terms of connections and those here who may be seeking them. I don’t see this an extension of tantric sex.
Peesonally, I am not impressed by sex that can last for 8 hours in a meditative state. Or sex that connects me to myself. I am more impressed by how lovers take care of each other after the hit of brain chemicals subsides, the community that is built when making and nourishing connections, the vulnerability of sharing deep needs and fears, the owning and cleaning up of messes made, the inquiry into eachothers’ passions, the creating of connection and letting a relationship change where it’s not driven solely by sex but sex fuels it all the same.
I am shortchanging myself if I let those things slide and instead focus on the sex alone. That’s building a connection, and for me it doesn’t happen in one hour, or one meet up. It’s also not linear.
"
Oh how I loved waking up to reading this. 
I have only had that depth with one partner. And the puzzle aspect - it was so bizarre, our swinging kind of integrated into that puzzle. There was never a singular way. It can't be a formula, you just have trust in the trails until they spiral into each other.
The memory you stirred is shivering through my body. Like an epiphany. Thank you, sincerely.
The great gig in the sky. You can label it any colour you like |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
Glad that you touched this subject, Woody, as I had the same question myself a few days ago.
Someone I hold in very, very high regard suggested I looked into tantric sex and how we could incorporate it at our next meet. But they also bang on and on about this is not a relationship, we’re just friends, we have great sex but that’s it, etc. And we meet once in a blue moon because of distance. So the request, far from arousing me, was a huge turnoff. Tantra is all about connection, trust, feelings.
Yet somehow, there is the misconception that tantra is just dirty, taboo sex.  Nothing further than that! |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"It seems like a gimmick oft used as a USP"
Exactly , real tantras would not be on a sex site it’s more an alternative psychological or spiritual healing not a hedonistic pursuit.
I think fab tantra just means an oily massage with a pussy rub from a horny man |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It seems like a gimmick oft used as a USP
Exactly , real tantras would not be on a sex site it’s more an alternative psychological or spiritual healing not a hedonistic pursuit.
I think fab tantra just means an oily massage with a pussy rub from a horny man"
Is that your final answer? |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"Glad that you touched this subject, Woody
But only after looking into its eyes for 12 hours."
Exactly, lol!! So I was going to start the meet with that - “let’s look into each others’ eyes with our left hand on each others’ left side of the chest amd harmonise our heartbeats…”
See who falls asleep first  or he’d run to the hills |
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"It seems like a gimmick oft used as a USP
Exactly , real tantras would not be on a sex site it’s more an alternative psychological or spiritual healing not a hedonistic pursuit.
I think fab tantra just means an oily massage with a pussy rub from a horny man"
In |
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I think a lot of people don't understand that Tantra is a yoga system designed to attain enlightenment in a single life time.
To quote the Dalai Lana
"To practice tantra requires even greater compassion and greater intelligence than are required on the sutra path; thus, though many persons in the degenerate era are interested in tantra, tantra is not for degenerate persons. Tantra is limited to persons whose compassion is so great that they cannot bear to spend unnecessary time in attaining Buddhahood, as they want to be a supreme source of help and happiness for others quickly"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of people don't understand that Tantra is a yoga system designed to attain enlightenment in a single life time.
To quote the Dalai Lana
"To practice tantra requires even greater compassion and greater intelligence than are required on the sutra path; thus, though many persons in the degenerate era are interested in tantra, tantra is not for degenerate persons. Tantra is limited to persons whose compassion is so great that they cannot bear to spend unnecessary time in attaining Buddhahood, as they want to be a supreme source of help and happiness for others quickly"
"
Like anything it will have its roots. And the yoga and meditation is almost all part of the tantric sex
So I don’t think I was dismissive of it. I was just relation g it more to the fact swinging (sex) might be s better place to talk about this side. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It sounds interesting. I just don't think I'm ready for advanced sex yet.
Think of it as primal for people who overthink. You'll feel better."
Gosh, don't think I know any overthinkers |
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I'm happy to share my thoughts on this but please keep them in thread and not in my inbox thanks.
The differences between Buddhist tantra and Hindu tantra are notable and to say that either is wrong is kinda missing the forest for the trees imo.
As an aside Tantric Massage was developed in the west during the 70's and 80's. |
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"It sounds interesting. I just don't think I'm ready for advanced sex yet.
Think of it as primal for people who overthink. You'll feel better.
Gosh, don't think I know any overthinkers "
Are you sure? D'ya think? |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
There has been for a number of years crossover in the rope world of doing rope (wrongfully called Shibari in this context) combined with mindfulness practices. I listened to one podcast on rope and Tantra. This led me to listen to other podcasts on the matter and download some books (yet to be read). I am no expert but it is clear that Tantra is more than sex. It seems to be an approach to life and people and groups interpret Tantra differently. But the understanding that resonated with me is the appreciation of self and living in the moment. There is no issue with unselfish pleasure in the small and big things of life. But, I need to research more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It sounds interesting. I just don't think I'm ready for advanced sex yet.
Think of it as primal for people who overthink. You'll feel better.
Gosh, don't think I know any overthinkers
Are you sure? D'ya think?"
No, it's quite clear from yesterdays threads that I don't think. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There has been for a number of years crossover in the rope world of doing rope (wrongfully called Shibari in this context) combined with mindfulness practices. I listened to one podcast on rope and Tantra. This led me to listen to other podcasts on the matter and download some books (yet to be read). I am no expert but it is clear that Tantra is more than sex. It seems to be an approach to life and people and groups interpret Tantra differently. But the understanding that resonated with me is the appreciation of self and living in the moment. There is no issue with unselfish pleasure in the small and big things of life. But, I need to research more."
Thanks for this.  |
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"It sounds interesting. I just don't think I'm ready for advanced sex yet.
Think of it as primal for people who overthink. You'll feel better.
Gosh, don't think I know any overthinkers
Are you sure? D'ya think?
No, it's quite clear from yesterdays threads that I don't think. "
It's overrated. |
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"It sounds interesting. I just don't think I'm ready for advanced sex yet.
Think of it as primal for people who overthink. You'll feel better.
Gosh, don't think I know any overthinkers
Are you sure? D'ya think?
No, it's quite clear from yesterdays threads that I don't think.
It's overrated."
Cup of tea darling?  |
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"It sounds interesting. I just don't think I'm ready for advanced sex yet.
Think of it as primal for people who overthink. You'll feel better.
Gosh, don't think I know any overthinkers
Are you sure? D'ya think?
No, it's quite clear from yesterdays threads that I don't think.
It's overrated.
Cup of tea darling? "
A cup of tea always good with tantra too |
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"It sounds interesting. I just don't think I'm ready for advanced sex yet.
Think of it as primal for people who overthink. You'll feel better.
Gosh, don't think I know any overthinkers
Are you sure? D'ya think?
No, it's quite clear from yesterdays threads that I don't think.
It's overrated.
Cup of tea darling?
A cup of tea always good with tantra too "
It’s perfect  |
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"Is opening the jar of coffee beans and snigmffi g them, a way of enjoying tantric coffee. Because I do that. "
Maybe for you I don't like the smell or taste of coffee but yep its all about sences and been in tune with your mind and body and experiencing the moment . |
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"It sounds interesting. I just don't think I'm ready for advanced sex yet.
Think of it as primal for people who overthink. You'll feel better.
Gosh, don't think I know any overthinkers
Are you sure? D'ya think?
No, it's quite clear from yesterdays threads that I don't think.
It's overrated.
Cup of tea darling? "
Don't mind if I do? |
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Yes Woody you can.
We have been longterm fwbs for 4 years now, and we only play tantric, it's our way of worshipping each other, with love, feelings and nurturing. This is achieved with our minds, body and soul. However....neither of us want anything more than that. We simply don't want to be in a committed romantic relationship. He is one of my best friends and we love each other In that way, nothing more, nothing less |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is opening the jar of coffee beans and snigmffi g them, a way of enjoying tantric coffee. Because I do that. "
I don't even drink coffee but I could handle that. Probably as deep as I go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tantra is not synonymous with love.
I think we can get caught up in thinking breath and eye gazing and touch with presence equates a deep level of love.
Energetic sex and orgasm that is felt in every part of the body are beautiful, but do not promise that love is present. I think that is why there can be a deep core loneliness that is hard to quell in those who regularly partake in tantra with many partners.
At the end of the day, tantra is a part of a puzzle but not the puzzle itself.
Tantra is a way to communicate love, but it is also a smoke screen. It is a way to deepen a connection between lovers and it can also be a way to distract us. Like all good things can do.
In terms of connections and those here who may be seeking them. I don’t see this an extension of tantric sex.
Peesonally, I am not impressed by sex that can last for 8 hours in a meditative state. Or sex that connects me to myself. I am more impressed by how lovers take care of each other after the hit of brain chemicals subsides, the community that is built when making and nourishing connections, the vulnerability of sharing deep needs and fears, the owning and cleaning up of messes made, the inquiry into eachothers’ passions, the creating of connection and letting a relationship change where it’s not driven solely by sex but sex fuels it all the same.
I am shortchanging myself if I let those things slide and instead focus on the sex alone. That’s building a connection, and for me it doesn’t happen in one hour, or one meet up. It’s also not linear.
"
the whole idea of tantric sex is the appreciation of the other person or people, and often that's lacking with swinging.
I believe it totally has a place in swinging and makes the whole experience better.
I personally don't want 8 hours either but that's just the Sting gimmick that the press latched onto |
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Some useful posts here from a while back. We are looking for deep connection with another couple/s as we explore. Tantra base techniques can help. We do want to squirm around and gave sensual fun and not 8hrs eye gazing. But we are also getting less interested in the one off romp. Loving your swinging partners feels possible. Chris |
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