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How have your views...
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"your "dos and donts" in the scene changed over time if indeed they have changed?  "
Less one on one meets, more clubs. I just got bored of the hassle, loss of interest, and last min cancellations. Clubs are more social too, which is good for us singles as it gets me out of the house.  |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"your "dos and donts" in the scene changed over time if indeed they have changed?
Less one on one meets, more clubs. I just got bored of the hassle, loss of interest, and last min cancellations. Clubs are more social too, which is good for us singles as it gets me out of the house. "
I can understand that. Clubs are at least a guaranteed social event and sometimes more.  |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"your "dos and donts" in the scene changed over time if indeed they have changed?
Very much a case of my won'ts have changed....I think I have become less stringent.."
I think I have become less uptight about some "don'ts" eg I used to say I would not meet smokers but now I would if they are considerate. |
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"your "dos and donts" in the scene changed over time if indeed they have changed?
Very much a case of my won'ts have changed....I think I have become less stringent..I think I have become less uptight about some "don'ts" eg I used to say I would not meet smokers but now I would if they are considerate."
Exactly, that's the sort of thing I mean, at once time I was extremely uptight about so many things. Using fab has helped me realise that... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as a couple we meet in clubs for impromptu plays, but outside always social 1st, as a single profile i go by how it feels,i have had socials that turned into plays and it felt right  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"your "dos and donts" in the scene changed over time if indeed they have changed?
Yup.  Can I ask in what way they have changed? I think I had more Donts when I first started."
I found I like playing with men and sucking cock, nothing I had tried before.
One of the donts is that I played as a Bull once and did not enjoy it, I found it degrading for the 'cuck'.
I also thought I could never get tired of the scene. But when I was single, I was getting 3-5 meets a week. After about 18 months I really got jaded by it all.
I have also realised that although you would think that being a swinger makes you very broadminded, I have encountered some very ignorant folks both in real life and on here.
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Think it's more to do with expectation....when you start off in the lifestyle, you have a _iew that it opens pandoras box to sexual liberation, which it does. Most people take a run at it, unsure of what it entails. It's different and not for everyone. Our _iew from the start was that we did it together. You find your own pace and what is right for you. Finding that pace has been the change we have found and one we are happy with. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Think it's more to do with expectation....when you start off in the lifestyle, you have a _iew that it opens pandoras box to sexual liberation, which it does. Most people take a run at it, unsure of what it entails. It's different and not for everyone. Our _iew from the start was that we did it together. You find your own pace and what is right for you. Finding that pace has been the change we have found and one we are happy with. "
I can relate to that as well |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I personally find that the needyness is the biggest turn off for me. I like confident, self assured women who have a zest for life. Sadly, I don't a see lot of that in the scene these days, it is more about attention, drama, mind games and in the worst cases, to exploit something.
I am not saying the same doesn't exist within the male/couple community, or even myself historically.
My _iew is based on the swinging community as I know it, not just the forums/chat/socials etc etc.
and actually, it may even reflect life outside of swinging. |
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"I personally find that the needyness is the biggest turn off for me. I like confident, self assured women who have a zest for life. Sadly, I don't a see lot of that in the scene these days, it is more about attention, drama, mind games and in the worst cases, to exploit something.
I am not saying the same doesn't exist within the male/couple community, or even myself historically.
My _iew is based on the swinging community as I know it, not just the forums/chat/socials etc etc.
and actually, it may even reflect life outside of swinging."
It shouldn't be anything to do with drama or issues. In reality, we treat this no differently to the Vanilla world, we go home together and leave our swinging lifestyle and our playmates lives, we differentiate between the two. We might lust after someone, but we love each other and we wouldn't insult our playmates by crossing that line. Enjoy the adult fun, be nice, move on. Or maybe it's just us!! |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"
and actually, it may even reflect life outside of swinging. It shouldn't be anything to do with drama or issues. In reality, we treat this no differently to the Vanilla world, we go home together and leave our swinging lifestyle and our playmates lives, we differentiate between the two. We might lust after someone, but we love each other and we wouldn't insult our playmates by crossing that line. Enjoy the adult fun, be nice, move on. Or maybe it's just us!! "
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I personally find that the needyness is the biggest turn off for me. I like confident, self assured women who have a zest for life. Sadly, I don't a see lot of that in the scene these days, it is more about attention, drama, mind games and in the worst cases, to exploit something.
I am not saying the same doesn't exist within the male/couple community, or even myself historically.
My _iew is based on the swinging community as I know it, not just the forums/chat/socials etc etc.
and actually, it may even reflect life outside of swinging. It shouldn't be anything to do with drama or issues. In reality, we treat this no differently to the Vanilla world, we go home together and leave our swinging lifestyle and our playmates lives, we differentiate between the two. We might lust after someone, but we love each other and we wouldn't insult our playmates by crossing that line. Enjoy the adult fun, be nice, move on. Or maybe it's just us!! "
I think I/ we see the scene as that, too. It is a part of what we are but it does not define us. We have interests (some we share and some we do not oursue together) - the scene is a bit of quite literally play time.
I cannot see a need for mind games unless they are part of an erotic evening. Neediness I am not struggling with because I think most of us have times in our lives where we are needy in some way or another (and occasionally we are not even aware of it.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"your "dos and donts" in the scene changed over time if indeed they have changed? "
My overall general _iew hasn't changed. My 'to do' list has had a lot ticked off and has changed totally in the last few years.
This forum has been an eye opener. And not always in a good way!  |
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By *aris23Woman
over a year ago
France |
"I have still got the same do's and donts. I also still have a to do list I've not even started yet. Maybe won't do any of it  "
Same here - I am pretty sure I know what I don't like and rarely change my mind. The opportunity to start my list would be nice!!! lol |
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"your "dos and donts" in the scene changed over time if indeed they have changed? "
I haven't been active long enough for me to change any criteria. I might go beyond Hove but that'd be it really. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I've found I question peoples motives more. I'm not as trusting.
But hey I still have fun "
THnk I know where you are coming from. I dont want to question people's motives really because it takes the spontaneity and fun out of swinging somehow? Having said that... I understand that one bad experience (not meaning you but in general) can make people cautious. |
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By *orkieMan
over a year ago
Who knows |
I DONT tend to take people at face value as much as I do in the real world, unless of course you come across the drama queen or total knob jockey which is when the previous statement doesnt apply.
This applies more on here rather than spontaneous fun in a club (however, and I kid you not there is a certain male half of a couple who takes a clipboard to a club when he goes with his OH and ticks off certain criteria, certain people will know who I mean and which club)
On here I tend to lurk and assess more before jumping in as you never know just what is on the other persons mind
But taking all that into account I still love a jolly good shag with a bang tidy female of the species
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