FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > In Fab world, is there such thing as being competitive?
In Fab world, is there such thing as being competitive?
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Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me."
Does it leave you feeling like you'd just do till they found what they were looking for? And then you think oh well move on.
Is it like that? |
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People are all very different. If something causes you to lose interest that's okay. You can feel the way you feel 
I have a competitive streak for sure. It's all very contextual and as always for me all things are in flux. Something that might make me extra determined in one moment may make me shrug and walk away if it came in a different moment |
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me."
My take = You are highly competitive. You judge the other person more attractive than you and feel that you won't be able to maintain the view of yourself that you will 'wow' the person you are meeting. Then you decide not to compete because you won't have that buzz you are seeking.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me."
Can you say why it's not a confidence thing because that's precisely what it sounds like to me? |
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me.
Does it leave you feeling like you'd just do till they found what they were looking for? And then you think oh well move on.
Is it like that?"
Yes and no.
It’s not about them, because I would be happy for them to find what they are looking for, it’s about me giving up on them, if it makes sense. |
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Oh and I'm not competitive in any way regarding men, I'm very happy to share with others and wait till our available turn, with the "popular" hotties 
But in all other aspects of life, I do love a challenge |
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I don't think being competitive is as you've described it.
In fact, I guess you're actually treating it as a competition if you compare yourself against someone you assume is more interesting/attractive.
Perhaps imposter syndrome is the term you're looking for? I feel it all the time.
Thankfully, I don't treat fab as a competition because I'd be perennially distraught if I did - if I see that someone met a person I fancy, I think 'I'm happy for them, wish I'm next' lol |
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"People are all very different. If something causes you to lose interest that's okay. You can feel the way you feel
I have a competitive streak for sure. It's all very contextual and as always for me all things are in flux. Something that might make me extra determined in one moment may make me shrug and walk away if it came in a different moment "
I get that, makes perfect sense.
In my case, I walk away every single time. |
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me.
My take = You are highly competitive. You judge the other person more attractive than you and feel that you won't be able to maintain the view of yourself that you will 'wow' the person you are meeting. Then you decide not to compete because you won't have that buzz you are seeking.
"
Do you think so Granny? I must admit it has crossed my mind. But it has nothing to do with either person, it’s me.
My current mindset is thought “I can’t be no longer bothered” but I think now maybe it’s related to completely different thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not competitive as such but some things do make me compare and question why they might still want me. I think thats quite a natural trail of thought. It's how you then deal with it that matters.
Its the nature of the site really, there's always going to be things that make you wonder. Years ago I'd have instantly decided I couldn't compete and that would be it.
Now I've learnt to just accept that people want different things at different times (just as I do) and it's not my place to question that, nor is it a contest. |
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me.
Can you say why it's not a confidence thing because that's precisely what it sounds like to me? "
Not in a sense of body confidence, if you know what I mean.
Maybe it’s different confidence, and I need to tap into it deeper. |
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"Cos you are looking for a keeper honey and damn right you should be picky as fuck, you deserve your special, you just haven't found him yet x"
I began to believe I am probably a lost case for Fab!
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me."
I've had this but the other way. Men I'm talking to comparing themselves to my published veris. I find it odd. I actually went off someone for doing it as it seemed insecure and his profile screamed confidence.
I get feeling insecure but I'm sure the people trying to meet are genuinely interested in you. You say it's not a confidence thing but why would you be bothered? It wojkd be boring if we only liked identical types. |
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Dee, you’re not a lost cause. You’re fabulous. And *so* much fun.
I know we think differently, but here’s how I think … When I see a friend/partner/ex/whatever on Fab flirting with someone else I’m excited for them. When they’re collecting veris I go read them. Not out of jealousy but out of pride. I know they’re awesome. I like seeing other people recognise it too. I’ve been with them (or still am with them) because of their flirtiness and sexuality and I love to see them enjoy that side of themselves. I want them to have orgasms all over the place and they certainly don’t all need to come from me. |
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"if I see that someone met a person I fancy, I think 'I'm happy for them, wish I'm next' lol"
For me it’s if I see someone I fancy met someone I find more attractive/interesting than me - that is when I’m out.
I don’t think it’s me being competitive but in the same time I don’t know what it is. |
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Is it maybe because it makes you question the sincerity of their interactions with you?
There's no shame in feeling the way you do
And I don't think there's any need to delve deeper or to try and get over feeling that way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if I see that someone met a person I fancy, I think 'I'm happy for them, wish I'm next' lol
For me it’s if I see someone I fancy met someone I find more attractive/interesting than me - that is when I’m out.
I don’t think it’s me being competitive but in the same time I don’t know what it is. "
This is (one of the reasons) why I prefer to see no veris on profiles. I really don't care if they've met 1 or 10 people that week, I just don't want to know. I'm not going to compete in their ridiculous veri games.
Easier to meet off Fab where people are discreet and private.  |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I'm not competitive when it comes to men.
If it looks to me like they're more interested in someone else, and I'm on a back burner, I'll stop investing time in them.
I'd rather be giving the little energy I have to someone who gives a shit.
I don't need constant attention, but I can see when I'm the "done that" in their lives.
My mind says "you can have him". |
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I kind of get what you mean, I wonder if the reason you feel that way is because the person hasn’t left you feeling fulfilled - like there’s something (or many things) lacking from the connection you had with them? You’re far from a lost cause though, you fun to be around
You do need to stop comparing the way you view yourself against the way you view others though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me.
Can you say why it's not a confidence thing because that's precisely what it sounds like to me?
Not in a sense of body confidence, if you know what I mean.
Maybe it’s different confidence, and I need to tap into it deeper. "
Maybe. Or perhaps you just aren't cut out for non-monogamy but not ready to confront/accept that? |
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Before I meet someone I may look to see the kind of woman they have been with. But after they have met me it's not something I check. They know what I look like so if they are still interested then they like me. |
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"Before I meet someone I may look to see the kind of woman they have been with. But after they have met me it's not something I check. They know what I look like so if they are still interested then they like me."
Exactly this!!  |
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"Dee, you’re not a lost cause. You’re fabulous. And *so* much fun.
I know we think differently, but here’s how I think … When I see a friend/partner/ex/whatever on Fab flirting with someone else I’m excited for them. When they’re collecting veris I go read them. Not out of jealousy but out of pride. I know they’re awesome. I like seeing other people recognise it too. I’ve been with them (or still am with them) because of their flirtiness and sexuality and I love to see them enjoy that side of themselves. I want them to have orgasms all over the place and they certainly don’t all need to come from me."
Oh, I like that.
But you see, what I feel is something along the lines “I’m happy for them, its awesome they are having a great time but my role here is done.”
Something like that. |
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"Is it maybe because it makes you question the sincerity of their interactions with you?
There's no shame in feeling the way you do
And I don't think there's any need to delve deeper or to try and get over feeling that way "
I’m not sure it is the sincerity of their interactions with me, possibly something more along the lines of being an available option, not a choice.
Maybe this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me."
I think that’s fair, maybe you feel you aren’t enough
If I see someone with lots of verifications from tall guys or black guys I lose interest because I dunno how they could be interested in me |
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me.
My take = You are highly competitive. You judge the other person more attractive than you and feel that you won't be able to maintain the view of yourself that you will 'wow' the person you are meeting. Then you decide not to compete because you won't have that buzz you are seeking.
Do you think so Granny? I must admit it has crossed my mind. But it has nothing to do with either person, it’s me.
My current mindset is thought “I can’t be no longer bothered” but I think now maybe it’s related to completely different thing. "
Do you think that initial 'buzz' of feeling desired is beginning to get jaded ? |
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"Is it maybe because it makes you question the sincerity of their interactions with you?
There's no shame in feeling the way you do
And I don't think there's any need to delve deeper or to try and get over feeling that way
I’m not sure it is the sincerity of their interactions with me, possibly something more along the lines of being an available option, not a choice.
Maybe this."
There's nothing wrong with feeling like your nose is out of joint |
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"if I see that someone met a person I fancy, I think 'I'm happy for them, wish I'm next' lol
For me it’s if I see someone I fancy met someone I find more attractive/interesting than me - that is when I’m out.
I don’t think it’s me being competitive but in the same time I don’t know what it is.
This is (one of the reasons) why I prefer to see no veris on profiles. I really don't care if they've met 1 or 10 people that week, I just don't want to know. I'm not going to compete in their ridiculous veri games.
Easier to meet off Fab where people are discreet and private. "
I have a love and hate relationship with veris
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me."
Am not in the least competitive here or in the real world , l was competitive in sports , everybody is , all my life but that book is closed now , as regards meeting or being with someone they're either interested or not regardless of how you see things, l knew a woman once on here that wouldn't be with a guy if that guy had veris from hotter ,sexier women, l couldn't understand that at all then and still don't . |
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Just see it as sharing a hobby with someone and then occasionally you might share that hobby with someone else, but it doesn’t detract from the times you/they had.
The only time I’d feel like I wanted out is if they were finding it hard to give us dates to do the hobby together again as they were doing it with too many people.
Comparing or competing with others shouldn’t come into it as variety is the spice of life…
K |
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"if I see that someone met a person I fancy, I think 'I'm happy for them, wish I'm next' lol
For me it’s if I see someone I fancy met someone I find more attractive/interesting than me - that is when I’m out.
I don’t think it’s me being competitive but in the same time I don’t know what it is. "
But if they still want to see you, surely you're equally as attractive/interesting in your own way?
That how I see it, they're obviously getting something from me that they might not get with others? So you can't really compete, as we all provide a different experience. |
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I'm not meeting currently and haven't been for quite a while but when I am I have never felt the need to be competitive on here.
There are younger, fitter, better looking and better hung guys but they aren't in my thoughts at all when I'm chatting to someone.
I'm not in competition with all the other 58 year old men either.
My expectations from any engagement is that they have enough respect for me that they don't treat me as a number or a backup plan.
If I am investing time and effort into conversing with them they have to be willing to do likewise.
If they wish to chat to and meet others that's fine but if we agree to meet socially and there is the slightest hint that they are double booking or aren't totally invested it won't be happening.
The only person I compete with here is myself. |
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"But you see, what I feel is something along the lines “I’m happy for them, it’s awesome they are having a great time but my role here is done.”
Something like that."
I can absolutely see that perspective, even though it’s quite different from mine. I wonder though - do you feel like you’re deciding that your role is done, or like that’s being decided for you? |
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"I'm not competitive when it comes to men.
If it looks to me like they're more interested in someone else, and I'm on a back burner, I'll stop investing time in them.
I'd rather be giving the little energy I have to someone who gives a shit.
I don't need constant attention, but I can see when I'm the "done that" in their lives.
My mind says "you can have him"."
That’s exactly how I feel Nana. |
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"I kind of get what you mean, I wonder if the reason you feel that way is because the person hasn’t left you feeling fulfilled - like there’s something (or many things) lacking from the connection you had with them? You’re far from a lost cause though, you fun to be around
You do need to stop comparing the way you view yourself against the way you view others though "
Possibly, very much so.
And thank you
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me.
Can you say why it's not a confidence thing because that's precisely what it sounds like to me?
Not in a sense of body confidence, if you know what I mean.
Maybe it’s different confidence, and I need to tap into it deeper.
Maybe. Or perhaps you just aren't cut out for non-monogamy but not ready to confront/accept that? "
Maybe. But perhaps I’m not able to form a connection of any kind, the sexual intimacy included.
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"Before I meet someone I may look to see the kind of woman they have been with. But after they have met me it's not something I check. They know what I look like so if they are still interested then they like me."
In my case, it’s nothing to do with them, or even with the people they met.
It’s me and I’m trying to figure it out what it is. |
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me.
My take = You are highly competitive. You judge the other person more attractive than you and feel that you won't be able to maintain the view of yourself that you will 'wow' the person you are meeting. Then you decide not to compete because you won't have that buzz you are seeking.
Do you think so Granny? I must admit it has crossed my mind. But it has nothing to do with either person, it’s me.
My current mindset is thought “I can’t be no longer bothered” but I think now maybe it’s related to completely different thing.
Do you think that initial 'buzz' of feeling desired is beginning to get jaded ?"
Yes. I get bored easily when interactions fade. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I don't feel competitive at all.
I'm here to meet people simply for the sake of finding good company, on my wavelength, for socials, chat and maybe more. But that 'maybe more' doesn't include any commitments, expectancies or contracts.
If anyone I meet is put off because I've met someone else then that's a 'them' issue, not a 'me' issue. Likewise I'd never expect anyone else not to meet others. It's kind of what the site is designed for after all. Nor do I go hunting through veris to see who they've met. It's none of my business.
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"Just see it as sharing a hobby with someone and then occasionally you might share that hobby with someone else, but it doesn’t detract from the times you/they had.
The only time I’d feel like I wanted out is if they were finding it hard to give us dates to do the hobby together again as they were doing it with too many people.
Comparing or competing with others shouldn’t come into it as variety is the spice of life…
K"
I like the analogy of hobby. |
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"But you see, what I feel is something along the lines “I’m happy for them, it’s awesome they are having a great time but my role here is done.”
Something like that.
I can absolutely see that perspective, even though it’s quite different from mine. I wonder though - do you feel like you’re deciding that your role is done, or like that’s being decided for you?"
I am the one who is deciding.
100%. |
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"if I see that someone met a person I fancy, I think 'I'm happy for them, wish I'm next' lol
For me it’s if I see someone I fancy met someone I find more attractive/interesting than me - that is when I’m out.
I don’t think it’s me being competitive but in the same time I don’t know what it is.
But if they still want to see you, surely you're equally as attractive/interesting in your own way?
That how I see it, they're obviously getting something from me that they might not get with others? So you can't really compete, as we all provide a different experience."
I think it’s just me losing interest, especially if there’s very little effort put from them. |
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"I'm not meeting currently and haven't been for quite a while but when I am I have never felt the need to be competitive on here.
There are younger, fitter, better looking and better hung guys but they aren't in my thoughts at all when I'm chatting to someone.
I'm not in competition with all the other 58 year old men either.
My expectations from any engagement is that they have enough respect for me that they don't treat me as a number or a backup plan.
If I am investing time and effort into conversing with them they have to be willing to do likewise.
If they wish to chat to and meet others that's fine but if we agree to meet socially and there is the slightest hint that they are double booking or aren't totally invested it won't be happening.
The only person I compete with here is myself."
Totally agree with you on this. |
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I am not a competitive person. Some people ask me about my verifications, some ask me what I think of theirs. It can be fun, enjoyable. Some want to know nothing. I have had people place stipulations on me seeing others. I am sure all of these things may be indicators of a level of competiveness. I don't have preformed ideas of what a relationship should be there's two people involved - it's a discussion.
I do get a similar experience to you in that I lose motivation to see people, but it is not out of competition or verifications.
Sometimes we just don't feel it and that's the reason in itself? I try to be patient with myself and wait for the reason to become clear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The sense of completion is there all around fab. Some of us might feel it, some of us will ignore it.
For example - … to stand out from the crowd has been said before as advice for profiles (that’s just something I once remembered)
To relate to yours op, don’t you think it’s more strange to have that feeling in a Swinging website? None of us look the same, and never will. So along the way, someone will meet someone who you THINK is more attractive.
And that’s your opinion, because someone else might think - Wow, you’re more attractive than them etc.
It’s a weird feeling either way, but yeh, I often see people meeting and wonder how all this works.
It’s nice to know you’re their type, and I think it’s nice to have that affirmation. But how can we when they meet people that make us feel lesser?
Maybe I’ve thought too much about this now.
Good morning  |
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"The sense of completion is there all around fab. Some of us might feel it, some of us will ignore it.
For example - … to stand out from the crowd has been said before as advice for profiles (that’s just something I once remembered)
To relate to yours op, don’t you think it’s more strange to have that feeling in a Swinging website? None of us look the same, and never will. So along the way, someone will meet someone who you THINK is more attractive.
And that’s your opinion, because someone else might think - Wow, you’re more attractive than them etc.
It’s a weird feeling either way, but yeh, I often see people meeting and wonder how all this works.
It’s nice to know you’re their type, and I think it’s nice to have that affirmation. But how can we when they meet people that make us feel lesser?
Maybe I’ve thought too much about this now.
Good morning "
Good morning Woody.
Quite a food for thought to go with my morning coffee, right?
I think I’ve got my answer now, I always have but perhaps needed to dissect it through Fab lens, and I’m glad I did. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about when you think the other person is not as good looking/not a fit as you? What do you think then?
This hasn’t been the case so far. "
Doesn't that suggest something about your feelings towards yourself? I mean, I say no at the outset if I don't think I measure up - but you meet them. It's only when they're meeting someone else you judge as more attractive that there's a problem for you. But are they really more attractive or maybe you find it hard to recognise how attractive you are to these men? I don't know, but I hope you find some peace with this. |
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"What about when you think the other person is not as good looking/not a fit as you? What do you think then?
This hasn’t been the case so far.
Doesn't that suggest something about your feelings towards yourself? I mean, I say no at the outset if I don't think I measure up - but you meet them. It's only when they're meeting someone else you judge as more attractive that there's a problem for you. But are they really more attractive or maybe you find it hard to recognise how attractive you are to these men? I don't know, but I hope you find some peace with this. "
Perhaps it does too, Sally. Perhaps there’s also much more to that and I think I had figured it out, but couldn’t have done it without posting this thread.
I’m very much in peace now, and thank you to those who’ve taken their time to comment and help me to figure it out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about when you think the other person is not as good looking/not a fit as you? What do you think then?
This hasn’t been the case so far.
Doesn't that suggest something about your feelings towards yourself? I mean, I say no at the outset if I don't think I measure up - but you meet them. It's only when they're meeting someone else you judge as more attractive that there's a problem for you. But are they really more attractive or maybe you find it hard to recognise how attractive you are to these men? I don't know, but I hope you find some peace with this.
Perhaps it does too, Sally. Perhaps there’s also much more to that and I think I had figured it out, but couldn’t have done it without posting this thread.
I’m very much in peace now, and thank you to those who’ve taken their time to comment and help me to figure it out."
Glad to hear it. This can be such a good place to ask these questions! |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me."
Yes. Yes there is and it's not a at Jesus positive. If we take research from dating sites. There are generally more men than there are women. So the new is the better desperation feel like they have to compete against the other men. |
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I think some people think fab is competitive, but that’s based on their approach. I don’t feel it’s competitive at all as it’s about preference and desire, which is different for different people at different times.
If people want to meet me, that’s great, they wink or message, if they don’t wink or message I assume they don’t want to meet me, I’m not in a competition, I’m just not there thing.
As for people I have met meeting someone more attractive than me, putting me off, hell if I went down that road I’d give up . Fab is like a sweet shop, sometimes you want a coconut mushroom, sometimes an aniseed twist, I’m not going to worry too much about peoples flexible tastes |
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Don't forget that not every man wants the most attractive (as in stereotypical symmetrical face, hourglass figure).
I for one prefer an honest woman with a few faults. 99% of the time in RL I would always go for the older brassy type over her younger and slimmer friend/daughter.
Someone that you perceive as more attractive than you maybe so in your eyes, but you can't legislate for all guys (and girls). You might be surprised. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me."
Doubting Thomas.. Not meant to be. Never settle for second best.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I had my single profile, I would often get message me and I'd make the mistake of looking at their verifications and see someone that looks very different to me, puts me off a little bit, seems silly as I have probably missed out on some great meets
Danish x |
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"Because it has recently come to my attention I am not competitive at all.
For example, I will lose my interest in someone if we are planning to meet (sometimes for the second or third time) and meanwhile I see their newest verification from a person I think of as much more interesting/attractive than me, if it makes sense.
I know for sure it’s not a confidence thing, I just can’t get a sense of what it is.
It’s been bothering me for a while now.
It would be interesting to hear from others, or is it just me.
Yes. Yes there is and it's not a at Jesus positive. If we take research from dating sites. There are generally more men than there are women. So the new is the better desperation feel like they have to compete against the other men. "
I don’t have any experience on dating apps as it’s not something that interests me so can’t really comment on that. |
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"if I see that someone met a person I fancy, I think 'I'm happy for them, wish I'm next' lol
For me it’s if I see someone I fancy met someone I find more attractive/interesting than me - that is when I’m out.
I don’t think it’s me being competitive but in the same time I don’t know what it is.
But if they still want to see you, surely you're equally as attractive/interesting in your own way?
That how I see it, they're obviously getting something from me that they might not get with others? So you can't really compete, as we all provide a different experience.
I think it’s just me losing interest, especially if there’s very little effort put from them. "
Oh well yes, if they don't put any effort in its game over. |
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"if I see that someone met a person I fancy, I think 'I'm happy for them, wish I'm next' lol
For me it’s if I see someone I fancy met someone I find more attractive/interesting than me - that is when I’m out.
I don’t think it’s me being competitive but in the same time I don’t know what it is.
But if they still want to see you, surely you're equally as attractive/interesting in your own way?
That how I see it, they're obviously getting something from me that they might not get with others? So you can't really compete, as we all provide a different experience.
I think it’s just me losing interest, especially if there’s very little effort put from them.
Oh well yes, if they don't put any effort in its game over."
Exactly.
I think I’ve just had a lightbulb moment.
Some men try to bite more than they can chew, in other to try secure as many “meets” as possible, then no wonder it becomes increasingly difficult for them to keep up. Then they neglect the connections they already feel as secure, but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.
Not with me, anyway. |
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"if I see that someone met a person I fancy, I think 'I'm happy for them, wish I'm next' lol
For me it’s if I see someone I fancy met someone I find more attractive/interesting than me - that is when I’m out.
I don’t think it’s me being competitive but in the same time I don’t know what it is.
But if they still want to see you, surely you're equally as attractive/interesting in your own way?
That how I see it, they're obviously getting something from me that they might not get with others? So you can't really compete, as we all provide a different experience.
I think it’s just me losing interest, especially if there’s very little effort put from them.
Oh well yes, if they don't put any effort in its game over.
Exactly.
I think I’ve just had a lightbulb moment.
Some men try to bite more than they can chew, in other to try secure as many “meets” as possible, then no wonder it becomes increasingly difficult for them to keep up. Then they neglect the connections they already feel as secure, but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.
Not with me, anyway. "
I would hazard a guess reading from most males on here that they are far from securing a single meet let alone many. I think the lightbulb may need changing |
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"if I see that someone met a person I fancy, I think 'I'm happy for them, wish I'm next' lol
For me it’s if I see someone I fancy met someone I find more attractive/interesting than me - that is when I’m out.
I don’t think it’s me being competitive but in the same time I don’t know what it is.
But if they still want to see you, surely you're equally as attractive/interesting in your own way?
That how I see it, they're obviously getting something from me that they might not get with others? So you can't really compete, as we all provide a different experience.
I think it’s just me losing interest, especially if there’s very little effort put from them.
Oh well yes, if they don't put any effort in its game over.
Exactly.
I think I’ve just had a lightbulb moment.
Some men try to bite more than they can chew, in other to try secure as many “meets” as possible, then no wonder it becomes increasingly difficult for them to keep up. Then they neglect the connections they already feel as secure, but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.
Not with me, anyway.
I would hazard a guess reading from most males on here that they are far from securing a single meet let alone many. I think the lightbulb may need changing "
Not really. I think you and me are both right, in a sense.
My lightbulb is perfectly fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if I see that someone met a person I fancy, I think 'I'm happy for them, wish I'm next' lol
For me it’s if I see someone I fancy met someone I find more attractive/interesting than me - that is when I’m out.
I don’t think it’s me being competitive but in the same time I don’t know what it is.
But if they still want to see you, surely you're equally as attractive/interesting in your own way?
That how I see it, they're obviously getting something from me that they might not get with others? So you can't really compete, as we all provide a different experience.
I think it’s just me losing interest, especially if there’s very little effort put from them.
Oh well yes, if they don't put any effort in its game over.
Exactly.
I think I’ve just had a lightbulb moment.
Some men try to bite more than they can chew, in other to try secure as many “meets” as possible, then no wonder it becomes increasingly difficult for them to keep up. Then they neglect the connections they already feel as secure, but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.
Not with me, anyway. "
That's a very good point!
Do us women do the same to guys though? Just curious. |
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"if I see that someone met a person I fancy, I think 'I'm happy for them, wish I'm next' lol
For me it’s if I see someone I fancy met someone I find more attractive/interesting than me - that is when I’m out.
I don’t think it’s me being competitive but in the same time I don’t know what it is.
But if they still want to see you, surely you're equally as attractive/interesting in your own way?
That how I see it, they're obviously getting something from me that they might not get with others? So you can't really compete, as we all provide a different experience.
I think it’s just me losing interest, especially if there’s very little effort put from them.
Oh well yes, if they don't put any effort in its game over.
Exactly.
I think I’ve just had a lightbulb moment.
Some men try to bite more than they can chew, in other to try secure as many “meets” as possible, then no wonder it becomes increasingly difficult for them to keep up. Then they neglect the connections they already feel as secure, but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.
Not with me, anyway.
That's a very good point!
Do us women do the same to guys though? Just curious."
I think if you look at the numbers it would heavily suggest that it is more applicable to women over guys. You are the ones with the full in_oxes, guys like meerkats and can absolutely pick the best off. Why not? It's like natural selection on Fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve listened to enough 90s/00s RnB to feel confident enough saying they’ll never find nobody better than me. 
They won’t.
(Can I have your playlist, please?)
 "
Maybe. It’s written down somewhere you’ll have to come over and help me find it  |
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"I’ve listened to enough 90s/00s RnB to feel confident enough saying they’ll never find nobody better than me.
They won’t.
(Can I have your playlist, please?)
Maybe. It’s written down somewhere you’ll have to come over and help me find it "
It all depends how busy are you on Saturdays.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve listened to enough 90s/00s RnB to feel confident enough saying they’ll never find nobody better than me.
"End of the Road" was pretty good too"
that is a banger.
But my know your worth songs are like the irreplaceables and the heartlesses and the no scrubss and the independent womans |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve listened to enough 90s/00s RnB to feel confident enough saying they’ll never find nobody better than me.
They won’t.
(Can I have your playlist, please?)
Maybe. It’s written down somewhere you’ll have to come over and help me find it
It all depends how busy are you on Saturdays.
"
im never too busy for sex. If that’s what you mean. |
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"I’ve listened to enough 90s/00s RnB to feel confident enough saying they’ll never find nobody better than me.
"End of the Road" was pretty good toothat is a banger.
But my know your worth songs are like the irreplaceables and the heartlesses and the no scrubss and the independent womans "
I would suggest 'Put a ring on it' but I'm not sure that would be a good idea on Fab |
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"I’ve listened to enough 90s/00s RnB to feel confident enough saying they’ll never find nobody better than me.
They won’t.
(Can I have your playlist, please?)
Maybe. It’s written down somewhere you’ll have to come over and help me find it
It all depends how busy are you on Saturdays.
im never too busy for sex. If that’s what you mean. "
That’s exactly what I meant.
And playlist, too
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"I’ve listened to enough 90s/00s RnB to feel confident enough saying they’ll never find nobody better than me.
"End of the Road" was pretty good toothat is a banger.
But my know your worth songs are like the irreplaceables and the heartlesses and the no scrubss and the independent womans
I would suggest 'Put a ring on it' but I'm not sure that would be a good idea on Fab "
I’ve seen a few cock rings on here, if that counts? Then it’s an excellent idea indeed. |
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"I’ve listened to enough 90s/00s RnB to feel confident enough saying they’ll never find nobody better than me.
"End of the Road" was pretty good toothat is a banger.
But my know your worth songs are like the irreplaceables and the heartlesses and the no scrubss and the independent womans
I would suggest 'Put a ring on it' but I'm not sure that would be a good idea on Fab
I’ve seen a few cock rings on here, if that counts? Then it’s an excellent idea indeed."
I'll nod to that lol. I was thinking about another ring entirely |
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