What are your sexting skills like? What techniques do you employ to either tempt someone into meeting you or to keep things hot with someone you're involved with - and do they work? Are you better with words, pictures, voice-notes? Do you just enjoy knowing you're getting the other person off (and getting off yourself) virtually rather than using it to set up to meeting? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I don't really sext unless I've met the person so it's rarely used in a way that could be seen as tempting someone to meet me. Women it's a bit different but with men, once they've come from sexting, well that's them done. Ready to sleep. The chat kind of fades after for a few days. Me? It's barely scratched an itch and I'm hungry for the real thing.
If I do know and have met someone, I'm happy to send photos if that's what they're interested in. Voicenotes if they like the sound of my voice.
I couldn't really do it as a standalone thing because it's not that erotic on its own for me.
I'm not sure if I'm particularly good at it but I really get off from another's response to me. That pesky desire feedback loop thing. I enjoy learning about another person - the words they respond to, the things hinted at that they can't quite say just yet and the pleasure I get from working it out.
I think it does work. Well, I've seen and heard that it does.  |
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If it emerges naturally and mutually in the flow of conversation, it would appear that I have substantial aptitude.
If it feels contrived then I will move onto something more interesting - the weather perhaps, or the virtues of epicureanism. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have quite a gift for it, I'm told.
I'm not sure it's always good for me to go down that path. It really depends on whether the person is just using me (which I'm not great at spotting) or continuing our dynamic. |
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"I don't really sext unless I've met the person so it's rarely used in a way that could be seen as tempting someone to meet me. Women it's a bit different but with men, once they've come from sexting, well that's them done. Ready to sleep. The chat kind of fades after for a few days. Me? It's barely scratched an itch and I'm hungry for the real thing.
If I do know and have met someone, I'm happy to send photos if that's what they're interested in. Voicenotes if they like the sound of my voice.
I couldn't really do it as a standalone thing because it's not that erotic on its own for me.
I'm not sure if I'm particularly good at it but I really get off from another's response to me. That pesky desire feedback loop thing. I enjoy learning about another person - the words they respond to, the things hinted at that they can't quite say just yet and the pleasure I get from working it out.
I think it does work. Well, I've seen and heard that it does. "
Ah yes. We men need to make more post-orgasm effort. Anyone who has heard your voice on your profile would surely enjoy a voice note in your velvet tones.
I love your description of the thrill of working the other person out - finding out the little things that turn them on that maybe they're slightly embarrassed about so won't say straight up, and getting them to the point of being turned on enough to drop their defenses and talk openly about it. And I'm certain you have a very high success rate!  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Marginally better than they used to be I guess, but then I didn't really need to use that approach for a long, long while.
I still find myself slipping into random, inane chat quite easily rather than keeping it centred on the smut, but I'm also very guilty of that face to face. Sometimes I'm there, sat chatting about absolute bollocks and missing obvious signs that I should just shut up, stop talking and progress to taking things physical.
I'm often my own worst enemy on that front.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm actually rubbish at this. Most of the time I get bored.
Its obviously different if its someone I have been intimate with already and we can enjoy a few flashbacks together |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Ah yes. We men need to make more post-orgasm effort. Anyone who has heard your voice on your profile would surely enjoy a voice note in your velvet tones.
I love your description of the thrill of working the other person out - finding out the little things that turn them on that maybe they're slightly embarrassed about so won't say straight up, and getting them to the point of being turned on enough to drop their defenses and talk openly about it. And I'm certain you have a very high success rate! "
No you don't. Well, men don't. I'm an insatiable so and so with the right person. Men can keep menning.
My voice is pretty marmite to be fair but I do love how people respond to me, like a dear friend loves when he can hear how aroused I am as I'm talking. Not about sex necessarily.
I think I'm a bit of a slut for discovering those little things - the ones we don't readily share with others, the ones that really turn us on. Those details where the intimacy and connection grows.
Do you think you're a good sexter OP?
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"Ah yes. We men need to make more post-orgasm effort. Anyone who has heard your voice on your profile would surely enjoy a voice note in your velvet tones.
I love your description of the thrill of working the other person out - finding out the little things that turn them on that maybe they're slightly embarrassed about so won't say straight up, and getting them to the point of being turned on enough to drop their defenses and talk openly about it. And I'm certain you have a very high success rate!
No you don't. Well, men don't. I'm an insatiable so and so with the right person. Men can keep menning.
My voice is pretty marmite to be fair but I do love how people respond to me, like a dear friend loves when he can hear how aroused I am as I'm talking. Not about sex necessarily.
I think I'm a bit of a slut for discovering those little things - the ones we don't readily share with others, the ones that really turn us on. Those details where the intimacy and connection grows.
Do you think you're a good sexter OP?
"
I...have had good feedback. Mostly with words rather than pictures or voicenotes (although sometimes with those too). I'm quite good at talking through scenarios, step-by-step details of what I'd do in person. I need very clear permission though to go in that direction, as I sometimes miss the signals that say it would be welcome. But once I have it, I can dive right in.
Occasionally I've managed to suggest something the other person hasn't thought about before and I like the buzz when a woman says 'I've never thought of that...but I like the idea...' But yes, I totally agree about 'the little things' - they're what stops it being generic and the feeling of getting under someone's skin and finding out what makes them tick is a real turn-on.
And yes, it has sometimes been the thing which has led to someone wanting to meet, or has been successful in the sense of being of use to the other person in helping her get where she needs to go... |
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