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Being offended by conversation not involved in
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Was having a chat with a couple of friends about this and wondered what others thought. Two scenarios :
One you overhear two good friends taking the mick out of each other in a friendly way. You are not involved in the conversation but can you be offended by the language they may be directing at each other?
Two a group of friends are taking the mick out of another friend who does not seem to mind. As another friend who witnesses the interaction can you get upset by the teasing they are receiving, if they themselves are not upset? |
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Not really.
I think you can check in on the friend who's having the mickey taken. Quite often people will say they don't mind teasing when actually they do. I don't think that's taking offence I think it's making sure a mate isn't being bullied |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you’re having a private conversation in the workplace, and someone unrelated overhears and takes offence to the language/content, you can be hauled in for investigation.
Common sense *should* prevail, but sometimes it doesn’t  |
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Yes you can be offended by both scenarios the question is whether you should act or not.
Is it a place of work , the pub , someone's home ?
It would depend on the people and your relationship with them.
If everyone else is okay with what is being said and done it's best you don't interfere and if you feel uncomfortable get away from it.
If it's a workplace , discuss your discomfort with your colleagues or take it to a line manager.
Personally I'd be pissed off if someone interfered if a me and a few friends were having a laugh.
I'd be more than pissed off if people off if those around turned a deaf ear and called it none of their business if help was needed.
Each situation needs careful unique handling. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you’re having a private conversation in the workplace, and someone unrelated overhears and takes offence to the language/content, you can be hauled in for investigation.
Common sense *should* prevail, but sometimes it doesn’t "
That was one of the scenarios discussed re the first one. It may be private but if at work need to be careful |
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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago
The dot in the i |
It’s none of my business
If they wanted me involved, they’d indicate that in some way
I’d protect if called upon to, of course, but unless they make some sign asking for back up, it’s absolutely none of my business |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes you can be offended by both scenarios the question is whether you should act or not.
Is it a place of work , the pub , someone's home ?
It would depend on the people and your relationship with them.
If everyone else is okay with what is being said and done it's best you don't interfere and if you feel uncomfortable get away from it.
If it's a workplace , discuss your discomfort with your colleagues or take it to a line manager.
Personally I'd be pissed off if someone interfered if a me and a few friends were having a laugh.
I'd be more than pissed off if people off if those around turned a deaf ear and called it none of their business if help was needed.
Each situation needs careful unique handling."
Agreed it depends on many things. I wonder if people's views would change in scenario 2 if the person having the mick taken was their partner and maybe too shy say something.
I have had people stand up for me when I was too shy to or even when I was not around to hear the mick taking aimed at me |
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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
I've seen a clip of Ricky Gervais talking about people taking offence and it;s rather enlightening and certainly makes you think a little.
Anyone can take offence at the slightest thing, that doesn't necessarily mean that what they have taken offence at is intrinsikly offensive - and that's the distinction.
Whether or not you find something someone else has said as offensive is down to you personally and not the person who has said it. |
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Steer clear. You're right to intervene if the conversation is something that offends you IE loud and continuous swearing, racism, homophobia etc.
You just have to be prepared for the consequences and it isn't always the youth of today. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Whether or not you find something someone else has said as offensive is down to you personally and not the person who has said it."
Should anyone be free to say anything, then? There has to be a line, surely? |
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By *elloWoman
over a year ago
alpha centauri |
"Was having a chat with a couple of friends about this and wondered what others thought. Two scenarios :
One you overhear two good friends taking the mick out of each other in a friendly way. You are not involved in the conversation but can you be offended by the language they may be directing at each other?
Two a group of friends are taking the mick out of another friend who does not seem to mind. As another friend who witnesses the interaction can you get upset by the teasing they are receiving, if they themselves are not upset? "
Sounds like how me and my friends interact, we call it affectionate abuse.
We know each other so well that we know which subjects are off limits and how long to continue it.
We're fully aware that to outsiders we sound like a horrible bunch of friends and the fact that one of us is alot younger, smaller and being a foreigner it can look meaner when it's aimed at her but that just makes us do it more and she's normally the first to start  |
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If they were casually using racist or homophobic language then I would be upset and wonder if I still wanted people like that as my friends. The question is would I intervene to tell them I thought that sort of language was wrong in the hope that they might take it on board or just make a point of having nothing to do with them any more? |
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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago
Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton, |
Last night having a drink with a couple of dealer friends,an "eavesdropper" nearby made two and two into seven and kicked off about "Tory racists in the corner".we hadn't been talking politics or anything remotely connected with ethnic origin.The staff appeared quickly and the guy left.No one including staff had the foggiest idea what he was on about and he wasn't pissed.If the staff hadn't been so prompt he would have been decked.Dont listen to other people's conversations.You have no idea about context etc. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
You can be offended by anything you want to be. You can step in if you feel that's what you need to do.
But not everyone feels the same way about things as you. Unless I see any kind of distress or uncomfortable body language then I won't intervene, I know those people well enough I feel to know their intent and their reaction. With the exception of hateful words used - though I'd be shocked as people I associate myself with in that way don't use hate speech. |
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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
"
Whether or not you find something someone else has said as offensive is down to you personally and not the person who has said it.
Should anyone be free to say anything, then? There has to be a line, surely? "
Freedom of expression is enshrined in Human rights legislation - Article 10 of the 1998 Human Rights Act.
Of course, with such a freedom there can be consequences, so whilst everyone is free to say whatever they like, they have to take personal responsibility for that and accept any consequenses that might arise from doing so |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"
Whether or not you find something someone else has said as offensive is down to you personally and not the person who has said it.
Should anyone be free to say anything, then? There has to be a line, surely?
Freedom of expression is enshrined in Human rights legislation - Article 10 of the 1998 Human Rights Act.
Of course, with such a freedom there can be consequences, so whilst everyone is free to say whatever they like, they have to take personal responsibility for that and accept any consequenses that might arise from doing so"
Indeed! Every action has a consequence small or large.
You say something, be prepared for nothing or maybe A thousand nations of the Persian empire will descend upon you. Their arrows will blot out the sun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Whether or not you find something someone else has said as offensive is down to you personally and not the person who has said it.
Should anyone be free to say anything, then? There has to be a line, surely?
Freedom of expression is enshrined in Human rights legislation - Article 10 of the 1998 Human Rights Act.
Of course, with such a freedom there can be consequences, so whilst everyone is free to say whatever they like, they have to take personal responsibility for that and accept any consequenses that might arise from doing so"
So we have to accept that if people take offence to something said, that’s their right to do so.
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