FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > It must be scary for single women on here
It must be scary for single women on here
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I really do take my hat off to you girls. There's alot of weirdos on here and you don't know who you are meeting on a date they could be a serial killer ..surley you all go to clubs so it's safer ? Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you but them meets must be worrying sometimes especially some story's I read on here |
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"Not all women need protecting
Opened himself up there to a hammering  "
Not really.
Some women don't want or need a man to protect them and are more than capable of looking after themselves.
Some, as already said can be the aggressor. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Not all women need protecting
Opened himself up there to a hammering
Not really.
Some women don't want or need a man to protect them and are more than capable of looking after themselves.
Some, as already said can be the aggressor. "
I think he meant the OP, not what you said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Slightly patronising post - white knight syndrome. Most women can look after themselves and most men are not violent psychopaths "
I don’t think it’s a patronising post at all.
I’ve been in a situation before with a man that if my husband was not there things could have ended up badly. Not saying everyone is violent and a psycho but it does happen and I’m thankful we have each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Slightly patronising post - white knight syndrome. Most women can look after themselves and most men are not violent psychopaths
I don’t think it’s a patronising post at all.
I’ve been in a situation before with a man that if my husband was not there things could have ended up badly. Not saying everyone is violent and a psycho but it does happen and I’m thankful we have each other "
I didn’t say that all people are ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Slightly patronising post - white knight syndrome. Most women can look after themselves and most men are not violent psychopaths
I don’t think it’s a patronising post at all.
I’ve been in a situation before with a man that if my husband was not there things could have ended up badly. Not saying everyone is violent and a psycho but it does happen and I’m thankful we have each other
I didn’t say that all people are ok "
I didn’t say you did  |
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"Not all women need protecting
Opened himself up there to a hammering
Not really.
Some women don't want or need a man to protect them and are more than capable of looking after themselves.
Some, as already said can be the aggressor.
I think he meant the OP, not what you said. "
Correct |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Slightly patronising post - white knight syndrome. Most women can look after themselves and most men are not violent psychopaths
I don’t think it’s a patronising post at all.
I’ve been in a situation before with a man that if my husband was not there things could have ended up badly. Not saying everyone is violent and a psycho but it does happen and I’m thankful we have each other "
It is extremely patronising. You may feel its not, and individually to you that may be true but wording and I can imagine to a great number of other people it is the definition of patronising.
It's essentially saying as a MF couple the only reason you are safe is because you have a man to protect you. When it's closer to being a case of safety in numbers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Slightly patronising post - white knight syndrome. Most women can look after themselves and most men are not violent psychopaths
I don’t think it’s a patronising post at all.
I’ve been in a situation before with a man that if my husband was not there things could have ended up badly. Not saying everyone is violent and a psycho but it does happen and I’m thankful we have each other
It is extremely patronising. You may feel its not, and individually to you that may be true but wording and I can imagine to a great number of other people it is the definition of patronising.
It's essentially saying as a MF couple the only reason you are safe is because you have a man to protect you. When it's closer to being a case of safety in numbers. "
It’s not essentially saying anything I’m talking from personal experience and giving my opinion on it.
He’s not just a random man he’s my husband and we support each other if he needed help I’d be the first one to do the same. Luckily that’s never happened.
What’s wrong with feeling secure with My hubby there? And vice versa? 
Really shouldn’t judge others on what feels right for them personally |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
If I found it scary on here I wouldn't be on here. And no I never felt that going to clubs would be the way forward to meeting people off here. In fact one of the worst experiences have had on here was at a mng from a man who was part of a couple of didn't understand the word no. Did that make me think most men on here are dangerous? No it didn't it just made me think he was a gobshite.
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Here is the thing, it's dangerous to meet anyone, regardless of whom you are.
TV/TS risk so much with their meets. There are some twisted people out there.
Women yes, we all know "men" are predators.
Couples, sometimes numbers are just not enough. And in the case of those couples have their man as a protector - sometimes there is always a bigger fish and your man can't do shit to defend himself nevermind you.
Men yeah overall we have it easy since we are the bad guys in it all. However as the OP says, there are a lot of weirdos out there - Men pretending to be women (I don't mean tv/ts), women that are just as dangerous as men, and as for couples well what is more dangerous than being outnumbered and potentially by 2 men pretending to be a mf couple or even ff.
We all run risks meeting, to say otherwise or say one is riskier than the other is downplaying and disrespecting any kind of horrible situation anyone has been in.
People are weirdos. People are at risk. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Slightly patronising post - white knight syndrome. Most women can look after themselves and most men are not violent psychopaths
I don’t think it’s a patronising post at all.
I’ve been in a situation before with a man that if my husband was not there things could have ended up badly. Not saying everyone is violent and a psycho but it does happen and I’m thankful we have each other
It is extremely patronising. You may feel its not, and individually to you that may be true but wording and I can imagine to a great number of other people it is the definition of patronising.
It's essentially saying as a MF couple the only reason you are safe is because you have a man to protect you. When it's closer to being a case of safety in numbers.
It’s not essentially saying anything I’m talking from personal experience and giving my opinion on it.
He’s not just a random man he’s my husband and we support each other if he needed help I’d be the first one to do the same. Luckily that’s never happened.
What’s wrong with feeling secure with My hubby there? And vice versa?
Really shouldn’t judge others on what feels right for them personally "
You need to read the OP again as he specifically states "Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you" - which I said that to you it may not be the case but as a whole that is the definition of patronising to say that a woman needs a man to protect her, random man or husband it makes no difference. Man protect woman. |
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No not scary! Not had a bad meet yet! Quite a good judge of character! Was one time I was on way to a meet (I walk usually) was for a coffee social! Was half way there had a txt message from a John saying he just passed me! I was meeting a John so said ohh we still meeting at the coffee place he said ohh yes! Shall I come pick u up? I said no meet where we agreed! He said remind me where! Then I caught on its not sane John! Obvs must have been someone who I had given my number 2! That was bit scary/weird so he was blocked x |
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"No not scary! Not had a bad meet yet! Quite a good judge of character! Was one time I was on way to a meet (I walk usually) was for a coffee social! Was half way there had a txt message from a John saying he just passed me! I was meeting a John so said ohh we still meeting at the coffee place he said ohh yes! Shall I come pick u up? I said no meet where we agreed! He said remind me where! Then I caught on its not sane John! Obvs must have been someone who I had given my number 2! That was bit scary/weird so he was blocked x"
Maybe try meeting guy's with other names other than John   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Slightly patronising post - white knight syndrome. Most women can look after themselves and most men are not violent psychopaths
I don’t think it’s a patronising post at all.
I’ve been in a situation before with a man that if my husband was not there things could have ended up badly. Not saying everyone is violent and a psycho but it does happen and I’m thankful we have each other
It is extremely patronising. You may feel its not, and individually to you that may be true but wording and I can imagine to a great number of other people it is the definition of patronising.
It's essentially saying as a MF couple the only reason you are safe is because you have a man to protect you. When it's closer to being a case of safety in numbers.
It’s not essentially saying anything I’m talking from personal experience and giving my opinion on it.
He’s not just a random man he’s my husband and we support each other if he needed help I’d be the first one to do the same. Luckily that’s never happened.
What’s wrong with feeling secure with My hubby there? And vice versa?
Really shouldn’t judge others on what feels right for them personally
You need to read the OP again as he specifically states "Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you" - which I said that to you it may not be the case but as a whole that is the definition of patronising to say that a woman needs a man to protect her, random man or husband it makes no difference. Man protect woman. "
I don’t need to do anything thanks.
I read what the op said and I gave my opinion on it.
That’s what people do on the forums.
Everyone’s allowed their opinions you’ve got yours I don’t personally agree with it and will stand by what I said about the dynamics in our marriage and how we support each other.
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"I really do take my hat off to you girls. There's alot of weirdos on here and you don't know who you are meeting on a date they could be a serial killer ..surley you all go to clubs so it's safer ? Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you but them meets must be worrying sometimes especially some story's I read on here"
this is why I just meet at clubs
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"No not scary! Not had a bad meet yet! Quite a good judge of character! Was one time I was on way to a meet (I walk usually) was for a coffee social! Was half way there had a txt message from a John saying he just passed me! I was meeting a John so said ohh we still meeting at the coffee place he said ohh yes! Shall I come pick u up? I said no meet where we agreed! He said remind me where! Then I caught on its not sane John! Obvs must have been someone who I had given my number 2! That was bit scary/weird so he was blocked x
Maybe try meeting guy's with other names other than John "
Yes! Will go for daves! |
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It's like anything here. You do you due diligence. Get to know the person/people you are meeting and mitigate against any risk when meeting. IE social in a public place. Maybe a few socials. Meet somewhere safe for anything further.
Unfortunately you cannot legislate for weirdos, be that single man stalker type, people posing as couples, bunny boiling females...etc etc.
There will always be risk but ultimately it comes down to how much you want to accept it and what you can do to lower it. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"You need to read the OP again as he specifically states "Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you" - which I said that to you it may not be the case but as a whole that is the definition of patronising to say that a woman needs a man to protect her, random man or husband it makes no difference. Man protect woman.
I don’t need to do anything thanks.
I read what the op said and I gave my opinion on it.
That’s what people do on the forums.
Everyone’s allowed their opinions you’ve got yours I don’t personally agree with it and will stand by what I said about the dynamics in our marriage and how we support each other.
"
Another thing people do on the forum is focus soley on their opinion only and get defensive, totally blinded to what the discussion is about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You need to read the OP again as he specifically states "Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you" - which I said that to you it may not be the case but as a whole that is the definition of patronising to say that a woman needs a man to protect her, random man or husband it makes no difference. Man protect woman.
I don’t need to do anything thanks.
I read what the op said and I gave my opinion on it.
That’s what people do on the forums.
Everyone’s allowed their opinions you’ve got yours I don’t personally agree with it and will stand by what I said about the dynamics in our marriage and how we support each other.
Another thing people do on the forum is focus soley on their opinion only and get defensive, totally blinded to what the discussion is about."
Glad you can see that and work on yourself no need to get so defensive it’s only a forum post |
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"I really do take my hat off to you girls. There's alot of weirdos on here and you don't know who you are meeting on a date they could be a serial killer ..surley you all go to clubs so it's safer ? Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you but them meets must be worrying sometimes especially some story's I read on here"
It’s scary for men too. Some women are crazy here. |
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By *elshmumWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"I really do take my hat off to you girls. There's alot of weirdos on here and you don't know who you are meeting on a date they could be a serial killer ..surley you all go to clubs so it's safer ? Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you but them meets must be worrying
sometimes especially some story's I read on here"
Some of us girls are very capable of protecting ourselves! Yes I have come across some people who are not to my like, and yes I have had a few being pushy and then abusive if turned down, but that is a small minority. Most of the men I have interacted with have been decent and respectful. It's such a shame that a few men, give the majority a bad name  |
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By *elloWoman
over a year ago
alpha centauri |
I go for club meets for safety reasons and I do get grief from some men when I explain I don't arrange 1 on 1 meets due to safety.
Unfortunately there has been a small majority of guys who have tried to make out that their embarrassment and nervousness of visiting a club comes before my safety, they get blocked.
The only 1 to 1 meet I've had in the last 13 years has been with an off and on again fwb who I've known for longer than that.
Many many years ago I did arrange a gang bang in a hotel but I also arranged for a trusted capable male friend to act as security, he stayed in the room not playing and I did feel safe.
Yes a woman shouldn't need a man there to protect her but I think an attacker would think twice about doing something if a man is there rather that another woman.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No not scary! Not had a bad meet yet! Quite a good judge of character! Was one time I was on way to a meet (I walk usually) was for a coffee social! Was half way there had a txt message from a John saying he just passed me! I was meeting a John so said ohh we still meeting at the coffee place he said ohh yes! Shall I come pick u up? I said no meet where we agreed! He said remind me where! Then I caught on its not sane John! Obvs must have been someone who I had given my number 2! That was bit scary/weird so he was blocked x
Maybe try meeting guy's with other names other than John
Yes! Will go for daves! "
Also, not sure about meeting people called 'sane John' - if they have to be known by that they must be a nutter (having said that, the voices in my head are telling me that there is nothing wrong with a little mental instability) |
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"Not all women need protecting "
Yes they do, even if they can fight a guy that's still her having to protect herself. If all men weren't a threat to women then women could feel that where ever they go it is safe for us
Some men are just creepy if they are desperate it gets the better of them and if they are rejected their ego can get the best of them too |
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"Not all women need protecting
Yes they do, even if they can fight a guy that's still her having to protect herself. If all men weren't a threat to women then women could feel that where ever they go it is safe for us
Some men are just creepy if they are desperate it gets the better of them and if they are rejected their ego can get the best of them too"
Apologies for my choice of words. I should have said not all women want protecting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really do take my hat off to you girls. There's alot of weirdos on here and you don't know who you are meeting on a date they could be a serial killer ..surley you all go to clubs so it's safer ? Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you but them meets must be worrying sometimes especially some story's I read on here"
Girls? |
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"I really do take my hat off to you girls. There's alot of weirdos on here and you don't know who you are meeting on a date they could be a serial killer ..surley you all go to clubs so it's safer ? Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you but them meets must be worrying sometimes especially some story's I read on here"
Someone trying to get the single ladies on side or scare single ladies off? |
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"I really do take my hat off to you girls. There's alot of weirdos on here and you don't know who you are meeting on a date they could be a serial killer ..surley you all go to clubs so it's safer ? Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you but them meets must be worrying sometimes especially some story's I read on here"
There are female serial ki llers.Gender equality!
Also, many women can overpower a man.
I'm terrified of a woman overpowering me and do things I can't resist. |
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I only meet new people in clubs because I don't want my time wasted. It is better to meet somewhere public in general, and this way it doesn't matter if they flake or catfish, because there'll be a hundred other potential people to talk to looking for a similar thing.
I don't find it scary on here. Tedious, maybe  |
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I always have a social first and use public transport to get there. From there I trust my instincts and I will meet privately if I get the right vibes. Its hardly foolproof but I believe it significantly reduces my risk. Unfortunately axe murderers and other unsavoury types don't wear a sign around necks. So please guys if we take extra precautions don't be insulted. YOU know you are a good guy who wouldn't hurt or scare a woman but we can't know that. Also if you want to try anything non vanilla including anal or bdsm please get consent first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really do take my hat off to you girls. There's alot of weirdos on here and you don't know who you are meeting on a date they could be a serial killer ..surley you all go to clubs so it's safer ? Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you but them meets must be worrying sometimes especially some story's I read on here"
"You have the man to protect you"
LMAO |
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"So with a couple you've got the man there to protect you from what exactly? The woman?"
Some women are scary
In all seriousness though we actually had to go through a legal route with one woman that didn't take kindly to a polite thanks but not for us.
Mrs |
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Why is it that the single guys get ruled as being crazy there's some women here that can be just as crazy if not more then fellas single guys are labelled as creeps time wasters or pic collecters but what about the females that are the same |
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"Why is it that the single guys get ruled as being crazy there's some women here that can be just as crazy if not more then fellas single guys are labelled as creeps time wasters or pic collecters but what about the females that are the same "
I know of one woman who keeps files on every conversation she has on fab including facepics.
She is literally talking to everyone and has the inside scoop on all the drama.
She is like a forum duck. All chilled out, warm and approachable on the surface and all sorts of chaos down below.
Her fingerprints are everywhere.
I don't know any man who would be that invested. |
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By *elshmumWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"Not all women need protecting
Yes they do, even if they can fight a guy that's still her having to protect herself. If all men weren't a threat to women then women could feel that where ever they go it is safe for us
Some men are just creepy if they are desperate it gets the better of them and if they are rejected their ego can get the best of them too
Apologies for my choice of words. I should have said not all women want protecting. "
I don't want or need to be protected by any man. Thank goodness I was bought up to be strong, fierce and a force to be reckoned with. The sad thing is, that I had to be bought up to be able to protect myself against men, because if we lived in a society where some men where more decent and respectful, then I would never have had to learn to protect myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me I go with my gut instinct and take calculated risks. They've never let me down.
Clubs aren't 100% safe, I've heard of incidents happening in them too. |
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In seriousness now. As others have said, my most frightening experience was in a club, in the main play area, when a bloke I didn’t know decided he was going to indulge in a little light breath play, with no prior discussion and wouldn’t stop. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it that the single guys get ruled as being crazy there's some women here that can be just as crazy if not more then fellas single guys are labelled as creeps time wasters or pic collecters but what about the females that are the same
I know of one woman who keeps files on every conversation she has on fab including facepics.
She is literally talking to everyone and has the inside scoop on all the drama.
She is like a forum duck. All chilled out, warm and approachable on the surface and all sorts of chaos down below.
Her fingerprints are everywhere.
I don't know any man who would be that invested. "
Jrez  she sounds like a fun character |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Why is it that the single guys get ruled as being crazy there's some women here that can be just as crazy if not more then fellas single guys are labelled as creeps time wasters or pic collecters but what about the females that are the same
I know of one woman who keeps files on every conversation she has on fab including facepics.
She is literally talking to everyone and has the inside scoop on all the drama.
She is like a forum duck. All chilled out, warm and approachable on the surface and all sorts of chaos down below.
Her fingerprints are everywhere.
I don't know any man who would be that invested. "
That sounds like a full time job, way to much work! |
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By *essaMayWoman
over a year ago
Fairytale Wood |
No bad person is going to open up with telling anyone they are a bad person. Convince others they are good person.
There are predatory people everywhere, male and female. Rosemary West prime example. Swinging will attract them as they see easy targets.
I had an experience with the guy of a couple after a meet.
It is scary for anyone, male or female bad people don't wear a sign, wolf in sheeps clothing etc.
Will only meet in a public place and have an escape plan even if female.
Males more common and definately more media attention. There are a lot of predatory females. Guess may be a few on here |
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"Why is it that the single guys get ruled as being crazy there's some women here that can be just as crazy if not more then fellas single guys are labelled as creeps time wasters or pic collecters but what about the females that are the same
I know of one woman who keeps files on every conversation she has on fab including facepics.
She is literally talking to everyone and has the inside scoop on all the drama.
She is like a forum duck. All chilled out, warm and approachable on the surface and all sorts of chaos down below.
Her fingerprints are everywhere.
I don't know any man who would be that invested.
That sounds like a full time job, way to much work!"
That's what I was thinking. even if I wanted to be I'd never be a stalker. Waaaaay too much work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it that the single guys get ruled as being crazy there's some women here that can be just as crazy if not more then fellas single guys are labelled as creeps time wasters or pic collecters but what about the females that are the same
I know of one woman who keeps files on every conversation she has on fab including facepics.
She is literally talking to everyone and has the inside scoop on all the drama.
She is like a forum duck. All chilled out, warm and approachable on the surface and all sorts of chaos down below.
Her fingerprints are everywhere.
I don't know any man who would be that invested. "
Who is that? |
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"For me I go with my gut instinct and take calculated risks. They've never let me down.
Clubs aren't 100% safe, I've heard of incidents happening in them too."
This for me too. My judge of character and gut instinct has never let me down. Although I’ve never done random meets and never will so I suppose it could be different for people who do. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
My nerves have got the better of me recently, sadly. I read that a guy (local, used to be on here but not sure if he still is) assaulted his partner and has 15 previous convictions! It's not just that that's name me feel the way I do, you just never know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really do take my hat off to you girls. There's alot of weirdos on here and you don't know who you are meeting on a date they could be a serial killer ..surley you all go to clubs so it's safer ? Couples is OK obviously as you got the man there to protect you but them meets must be worrying sometimes especially some story's I read on here"
Based on experience, there are far more unusual/obsessive types on Facebook through friend requests than I have encountered on Tinder and on here.
Personally, I have not encountered any issues whatsoever on here, quite the opposite in fact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Slightly patronising post - white knight syndrome. Most women can look after themselves and most men are not violent psychopaths
Hell, most psychopaths aren’t violent, either. "
The violent ones are |
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I think many of us here, of all genders, have refined our filtering processes and are served well by it. Thisz in conjunction with mitigation measures that we take, helps to screen us from some potentially worse experiences. |
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"I personally couldn't be a single woman on here, the messages we get as a couple are bad enough.
Mrs
What's all this "receiving messages "thing .
Not something I've experienced. "
Abusive message, people that can't take a no thank you well, people you ignore because of the latter don't take it well, random minging cock pics, strangers just sending grim crap the list is endless.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Baby take off your coat, real slow
Baby take off your shoes
I'll help you take off your shoes
Baby, take off your dress, yes yes yes
You can leave your hat on…..
Thanks for the song op… |
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