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Short Oracle session now open
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Jennie the Omniscient is ince again wallowing in her floral scented bath of wisdom.
.
She will be available to answer any and all questions.
Ask and ye shall be answered by The Great Oracle.
Jennie knows all |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What does ‘thank you for threading the needle on this’ mean - when no one is sewing? "
It means "I am a pissy non entity within a corporate organisation who wants to sound 'on it' but I am actually a knob chops" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Jennie,
I have a curious problem.
It’s VERY UNIQUE in fact…. 
I am finding myself strangely addicted to Robert Bronzi films.
Oh well….I’m beyond help but thanks for listening  "
Reported and blocked.
Then unblocked.
Just so I can block again. |
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"Dear Jennie,
I have a curious problem.
It’s VERY UNIQUE in fact….
I am finding myself strangely addicted to Robert Bronzi films.
Oh well….I’m beyond help but thanks for listening
Reported and blocked.
Then unblocked.
Just so I can block again. "
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Please answer this Jennie:
No matter how many hints I drop about doing it for cash all the quotes I've had for my patio are sky high. Will I ever get a good price? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Please answer this Jennie:
No matter how many hints I drop about doing it for cash all the quotes I've had for my patio are sky high. Will I ever get a good price?"
Its the bodies underneath that's the issue here. That sort of work don't come cheap |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh wiseone... why is my idiot radar not fully functioning??
You need to turn it off, apply a smack to it, and turn it back on again
I may need a little help with that lol"
I am sure smacking and turning on is well within your remit |
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"Oh wiseone... why is my idiot radar not fully functioning??
You need to turn it off, apply a smack to it, and turn it back on again
I may need a little help with that lol
I am sure smacking and turning on is well within your remit"
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A small voice of a 5 year old keeps saying "guess where I am". So where is he? I'll give you a clue - it's not in bed."
He's in the wardrobe, playing with the funny buzzy sausage he found under your bed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Please answer this Jennie:
No matter how many hints I drop about doing it for cash all the quotes I've had for my patio are sky high. Will I ever get a good price?
Its the bodies underneath that's the issue here. That sort of work don't come cheap "
I'm sure one of the quotes said the same. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Jennie.
Is there any way to make the earth rotate faster or do I have to wait the usual allotted time til Friday?
Ta muchly.  "
Patience is a virtue.
Or masturbate yourself into a coma that lasts till Thursday. That approach runs the risk of coma over run though, and then you would miss Friday entirely.
.
Best just be patient my shiny shoed chum |
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"What does ‘thank you for threading the needle on this’ mean - when no one is sewing?
It means "I am a pissy non entity within a corporate organisation who wants to sound 'on it' but I am actually a knob chops" "
Yes this makes sense.
Based on the roaring success of the above, may I ask a second? If so…
What is my optimal time to log off fab and attempt sleep? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie how can I stop guys messaging me dick pics?"
Stop being so alluring, you siren.
Its the only way.
.
That or say Elephant Juice into the mirror three times |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What does ‘thank you for threading the needle on this’ mean - when no one is sewing?
It means "I am a pissy non entity within a corporate organisation who wants to sound 'on it' but I am actually a knob chops"
Yes this makes sense.
Based on the roaring success of the above, may I ask a second? If so…
What is my optimal time to log off fab and attempt sleep? "
You have an optimal window of between 22:21 hrs and 22:28 hrs.
.
Failing that there is a sub optimal window of between 23:01 and 23:03. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?"
It is a kindness to the last solitary, lonely little doughnut |
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O Jennie,
Is it sexy and fun getting intimate with a helping of oil - everyone sliding all over each other - or is it deeply frustrating because you can’t get any purchase and you end up covered in fluff? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie how can I stop guys messaging me dick pics?
Who is this bloke Richard men keep sending photos of to women?  "
Sir Richard de Gonad. An inveterate and recidivist pervert of this parish |
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"What does ‘thank you for threading the needle on this’ mean - when no one is sewing?
It means "I am a pissy non entity within a corporate organisation who wants to sound 'on it' but I am actually a knob chops"
Yes this makes sense.
Based on the roaring success of the above, may I ask a second? If so…
What is my optimal time to log off fab and attempt sleep?
You have an optimal window of between 22:21 hrs and 22:28 hrs.
.
Failing that there is a sub optimal window of between 23:01 and 23:03."
That doesn’t give me long  |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
It is a kindness to the last solitary, lonely little doughnut "
Thank you, you are so right can't leave it all alone like that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"O Jennie,
Is it sexy and fun getting intimate with a helping of oil - everyone sliding all over each other - or is it deeply frustrating because you can’t get any purchase and you end up covered in fluff? "
It depends.
Using lint free bedding is best for such activities. Definitely avoid the carpet! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie now that I have hung up/retired my green shorts do you think I will get more meets
I predict you will be awash with orgasmic ecstasy
I'll hold you to that "
Hold me any time you like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?"
Remind me never to go near Daizy - I used to buy a five back and eat four of them between Sainsbury's and my house (400m away) and when I got home tell my daughter I had bought her a doughnut! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest oracle,
I beg once again, will I get laid before the end of the year "
The answer is still yes. At least twice.
It you are still shag free by 12th December, call me |
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"Jennie the Omniscient is ince again wallowing in her floral scented bath of wisdom.
.
She will be available to answer any and all questions.
Ask and ye shall be answered by The Great Oracle.
Jennie knows all "
Why do birds suddenly appear? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest darling Jenefique,
When will the men folk learn to read a header/status/profile? I'm losing the will to Fab
Thanks angel x"
They won't
It is one of nature's immutable constants.
They are all dinny saps innit |
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"Jennie how can I stop guys messaging me dick pics?
Stop being so alluring, you siren.
Its the only way.
.
That or say Elephant Juice into the mirror three times "
It doesn't work - I still get them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie the Omniscient is ince again wallowing in her floral scented bath of wisdom.
.
She will be available to answer any and all questions.
Ask and ye shall be answered by The Great Oracle.
Jennie knows all
Why do birds suddenly appear? "
Just like me, they want to be, close to you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie how can I stop guys messaging me dick pics?
Stop being so alluring, you siren.
Its the only way.
.
That or say Elephant Juice into the mirror three times
It doesn't work - I still get them."
Ah.
You are such a cock magnet that this remedy is not strong enough for you, horn crumpet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If saying Boggy Small's name three times into a mirror at midnight will make him appear, will this work for David Bowie.
Asking for a curious friend."
David Bowie is sadly dead.
He cant say anything into a mirror |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was going to say you can't be a short oracle. But then I remembered looking down when your heel snapped  "
I was looking up to you even before the footwear disaster |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear Jennie the Omniscient
Oh Great and Masterful Oracle, why was it that whenever the Emperor got into a temper or felt himself sulky or sad,
he would murmur and murmur until he felt firmer this curious rhyme that he had?
(and was A A Milne not the greatest ever poet when you were a child, and did you have these poems on the old LPs? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was going to say you can't be a short oracle. But then I remembered looking down when your heel snapped
I was looking up to you even before the footwear disaster"
Hang on, you are both 6ft, so one of you must have been wearing some magnificient heels (or was it that once the Omniscient's heel snapped she lost six inches in height?) |
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"Jennie how can I stop guys messaging me dick pics?
Stop being so alluring, you siren.
Its the only way.
.
That or say Elephant Juice into the mirror three times
It doesn't work - I still get them.
Ah.
You are such a cock magnet that this remedy is not strong enough for you, horn crumpet "
I wish I liked cock... can you do a Genie thread?
Also why is it guys send cock pics, but ask if I want my cock sucked?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Jennie the Omniscient
Oh Great and Masterful Oracle, why was it that whenever the Emperor got into a temper or felt himself sulky or sad,
he would murmur and murmur until he felt firmer this curious rhyme that he had?
(and was A A Milne not the greatest ever poet when you were a child, and did you have these poems on the old LPs?"
Because he forgot to carry one and so missed his tea.
A A Milne was ONE of the greats.
And sadly no, the Oracle owned no such long playing records |
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"I was going to say you can't be a short oracle. But then I remembered looking down when your heel snapped
I was looking up to you even before the footwear disaster
Hang on, you are both 6ft, so one of you must have been wearing some magnificient heels (or was it that once the Omniscient's heel snapped she lost six inches in height?)"
I had bigger heels to start with. But mine lasted the night |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was going to say you can't be a short oracle. But then I remembered looking down when your heel snapped
I was looking up to you even before the footwear disaster
Hang on, you are both 6ft, so one of you must have been wearing some magnificient heels (or was it that once the Omniscient's heel snapped she lost six inches in height?)
I had bigger heels to start with. But mine lasted the night "
I knew mine would not.
Obviously.
I Know everything |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was going to say you can't be a short oracle. But then I remembered looking down when your heel snapped
I was looking up to you even before the footwear disaster
Hang on, you are both 6ft, so one of you must have been wearing some magnificient heels (or was it that once the Omniscient's heel snapped she lost six inches in height?)"
I went from 6'5" to a paltry 6' |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Remind me never to go near Daizy - I used to buy a five back and eat four of them between Sainsbury's and my house (400m away) and when I got home tell my daughter I had bought her a doughnut!"
See its not our fault, they make doughnuts way too tasty! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Jennie the Omniscient
Oh Great and Masterful Oracle, why was it that whenever the Emperor got into a temper or felt himself sulky or sad,
he would murmur and murmur until he felt firmer this curious rhyme that he had?
(and was A A Milne not the greatest ever poet when you were a child, and did you have these poems on the old LPs?
Because he forgot to carry one and so missed his tea.
A A Milne was ONE of the greats.
And sadly no, the Oracle owned no such long playing records"
I think that I have them still as I have not thrown away the boxes of LPs from when I cleared my mom's house a few years ago - plus I still have the Dual record deck from the days when such things were valuable currency to be acquired from Richer Sounds by impoverished students (I sense a trip down nostolgia alley coming up in the near future) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Remind me never to go near Daizy - I used to buy a five back and eat four of them between Sainsbury's and my house (400m away) and when I got home tell my daughter I had bought her a doughnut!
See its not our fault, they make doughnuts way too tasty! "
I take it we are talking jam doughnuts and not those upstart custard filled ones! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie how can I stop guys messaging me dick pics?
Stop being so alluring, you siren.
Its the only way.
.
That or say Elephant Juice into the mirror three times
It doesn't work - I still get them.
Ah.
You are such a cock magnet that this remedy is not strong enough for you, horn crumpet
I wish I liked cock... can you do a Genie thread?
Also why is it guys send cock pics, but ask if I want my cock sucked? "
Becsuse cock flocks to you i. all its forms. You are the epitome of cock bait.
You are the Mecca if the Gheys
A fab straight's wet dream
You could turn Chuck Norris.
.
Babe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was going to say you can't be a short oracle. But then I remembered looking down when your heel snapped
I was looking up to you even before the footwear disaster
Hang on, you are both 6ft, so one of you must have been wearing some magnificient heels (or was it that once the Omniscient's heel snapped she lost six inches in height?)
I went from 6'5" to a paltry 6'"
Blumin heck, you have five inches on me already (or for a Fab guy, that's a bottle of lynx!) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Remind me never to go near Daizy - I used to buy a five back and eat four of them between Sainsbury's and my house (400m away) and when I got home tell my daughter I had bought her a doughnut!
See its not our fault, they make doughnuts way too tasty!
I take it we are talking jam doughnuts and not those upstart custard filled ones!"
It matters not
#EveryDoughnutIsSacred |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was going to say you can't be a short oracle. But then I remembered looking down when your heel snapped
I was looking up to you even before the footwear disaster
Hang on, you are both 6ft, so one of you must have been wearing some magnificient heels (or was it that once the Omniscient's heel snapped she lost six inches in height?)
I went from 6'5" to a paltry 6'
Blumin heck, you have five inches on me already (or for a Fab guy, that's a bottle of lynx!)"
I have 9 for you stud muffin  |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Remind me never to go near Daizy - I used to buy a five back and eat four of them between Sainsbury's and my house (400m away) and when I got home tell my daughter I had bought her a doughnut!
See its not our fault, they make doughnuts way too tasty!
I take it we are talking jam doughnuts and not those upstart custard filled ones!
It matters not
#EveryDoughnutIsSacred"
No they're not, custard and ring doughnuts can do one! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was going to say you can't be a short oracle. But then I remembered looking down when your heel snapped
I was looking up to you even before the footwear disaster
Hang on, you are both 6ft, so one of you must have been wearing some magnificient heels (or was it that once the Omniscient's heel snapped she lost six inches in height?)
I went from 6'5" to a paltry 6'
Blumin heck, you have five inches on me already (or for a Fab guy, that's a bottle of lynx!)
I have 9 for you stud muffin "
Bad oracle. Get down shep. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Remind me never to go near Daizy - I used to buy a five back and eat four of them between Sainsbury's and my house (400m away) and when I got home tell my daughter I had bought her a doughnut!
See its not our fault, they make doughnuts way too tasty!
I take it we are talking jam doughnuts and not those upstart custard filled ones!
It matters not
#EveryDoughnutIsSacred
No they're not, custard and ring doughnuts can do one!"
Ahem.... who's Omniscient here? |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Remind me never to go near Daizy - I used to buy a five back and eat four of them between Sainsbury's and my house (400m away) and when I got home tell my daughter I had bought her a doughnut!
See its not our fault, they make doughnuts way too tasty!
I take it we are talking jam doughnuts and not those upstart custard filled ones!
It matters not
#EveryDoughnutIsSacred
No they're not, custard and ring doughnuts can do one!
Ahem.... who's Omniscient here? "
Sorry I forgot  |
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"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Remind me never to go near Daizy - I used to buy a five back and eat four of them between Sainsbury's and my house (400m away) and when I got home tell my daughter I had bought her a doughnut!
See its not our fault, they make doughnuts way too tasty!
I take it we are talking jam doughnuts and not those upstart custard filled ones!
It matters not
#EveryDoughnutIsSacred
No they're not, custard and ring doughnuts can do one!
Ahem.... who's Omniscient here? "
The ahems are out be afraid!! |
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"Jennie how can I stop guys messaging me dick pics?
Stop being so alluring, you siren.
Its the only way.
.
That or say Elephant Juice into the mirror three times
It doesn't work - I still get them.
Ah.
You are such a cock magnet that this remedy is not strong enough for you, horn crumpet
I wish I liked cock... can you do a Genie thread?
Also why is it guys send cock pics, but ask if I want my cock sucked?
Becsuse cock flocks to you i. all its forms. You are the epitome of cock bait.
You are the Mecca if the Gheys
A fab straight's wet dream
You could turn Chuck Norris.
.
Babe. "
I just feel awful having to disappoint so many.
Do you think, Chuck? I'd do that just for the prestige. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why am I such a twat (head in hands emoji)?
Sub question. Why are fab emojis so shit?"
A. It's the way you are drawn. But its part of your charm.
.
B. It's part if Fab's charm |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling ."
It will involve spanking.
This I predict |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict"
The oracle is always right.
Now, to take doggo for a walk, then to go to the large Tesco Extra to get some ice cream and to throw all their custard filled doughnuts on the floor and stamp on them (cos putting custard in the space reserved for jam is sacrilege - and as for ring doughnuts, that is just silly) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict
The oracle is always right.
Now, to take doggo for a walk, then to go to the large Tesco Extra to get some ice cream and to throw all their custard filled doughnuts on the floor and stamp on them (cos putting custard in the space reserved for jam is sacrilege - and as for ring doughnuts, that is just silly)"
Your lack of faith disappoints me |
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"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict"
Only if the lady request I'd quite a different thing in mind
A little more sensual but you of course with your wisdom
Yep eating 5 doghnuts a spanking is in order . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict
Only if the lady request I'd quite a different thing in mind
A little more sensual but you of course with your wisdom
Yep eating 5 doghnuts a spanking is in order ."
See?
Told ya |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict
The oracle is always right.
Now, to take doggo for a walk, then to go to the large Tesco Extra to get some ice cream and to throw all their custard filled doughnuts on the floor and stamp on them (cos putting custard in the space reserved for jam is sacrilege - and as for ring doughnuts, that is just silly)
Your lack of faith disappoints me "
Didn't get an ahem tho did he oracle?!   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict
The oracle is always right.
Now, to take doggo for a walk, then to go to the large Tesco Extra to get some ice cream and to throw all their custard filled doughnuts on the floor and stamp on them (cos putting custard in the space reserved for jam is sacrilege - and as for ring doughnuts, that is just silly)
Your lack of faith disappoints me
Didn't get an ahem tho did he oracle?! "
Erm....
A little bratty tonight?
|
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"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict
The oracle is always right.
Now, to take doggo for a walk, then to go to the large Tesco Extra to get some ice cream and to throw all their custard filled doughnuts on the floor and stamp on them (cos putting custard in the space reserved for jam is sacrilege - and as for ring doughnuts, that is just silly)
Your lack of faith disappoints me
Didn't get an ahem tho did he oracle?!
Erm....
A little bratty tonight?
"
Daizy is in so. Much. Trouble!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict
The oracle is always right.
Now, to take doggo for a walk, then to go to the large Tesco Extra to get some ice cream and to throw all their custard filled doughnuts on the floor and stamp on them (cos putting custard in the space reserved for jam is sacrilege - and as for ring doughnuts, that is just silly)
Your lack of faith disappoints me
Didn't get an ahem tho did he oracle?!
Erm....
A little bratty tonight?
Daizy is in so. Much. Trouble!! "
You can put the wooden spoon down now sweetheart |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict
The oracle is always right.
Now, to take doggo for a walk, then to go to the large Tesco Extra to get some ice cream and to throw all their custard filled doughnuts on the floor and stamp on them (cos putting custard in the space reserved for jam is sacrilege - and as for ring doughnuts, that is just silly)
Your lack of faith disappoints me
Didn't get an ahem tho did he oracle?!
Erm....
A little bratty tonight?
"
Just a little, its ring and custard doughnuts they bring out the worst in me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict
The oracle is always right.
Now, to take doggo for a walk, then to go to the large Tesco Extra to get some ice cream and to throw all their custard filled doughnuts on the floor and stamp on them (cos putting custard in the space reserved for jam is sacrilege - and as for ring doughnuts, that is just silly)
Your lack of faith disappoints me
Didn't get an ahem tho did he oracle?! "
|
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict
The oracle is always right.
Now, to take doggo for a walk, then to go to the large Tesco Extra to get some ice cream and to throw all their custard filled doughnuts on the floor and stamp on them (cos putting custard in the space reserved for jam is sacrilege - and as for ring doughnuts, that is just silly)
Your lack of faith disappoints me
Didn't get an ahem tho did he oracle?!
Erm....
A little bratty tonight?
Just a little, its ring and custard doughnuts they bring out the worst in me."
.... or....
"Yes Your Omniscience, Im sorry your Omniscience"
.
Your choice of course.
But give it due consideration |
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"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict
The oracle is always right.
Now, to take doggo for a walk, then to go to the large Tesco Extra to get some ice cream and to throw all their custard filled doughnuts on the floor and stamp on them (cos putting custard in the space reserved for jam is sacrilege - and as for ring doughnuts, that is just silly)
Your lack of faith disappoints me
Didn't get an ahem tho did he oracle?!
Erm....
A little bratty tonight?
Daizy is in so. Much. Trouble!!
You can put the wooden spoon down now sweetheart "
Well out of the reach of certain people. |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict
The oracle is always right.
Now, to take doggo for a walk, then to go to the large Tesco Extra to get some ice cream and to throw all their custard filled doughnuts on the floor and stamp on them (cos putting custard in the space reserved for jam is sacrilege - and as for ring doughnuts, that is just silly)
Your lack of faith disappoints me
Didn't get an ahem tho did he oracle?!
Erm....
A little bratty tonight?
Daizy is in so. Much. Trouble!!
You can put the wooden spoon down now sweetheart
Well out of the reach of certain people."
Ahem..... |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Dearest Oracle, I bought a bag of 5 doughnuts today, I have already eaten 4 of them is it greedy of me to eat the last one?
Message me I've certainly got cure for the sugar rush your feeling .
It will involve spanking.
This I predict
The oracle is always right.
Now, to take doggo for a walk, then to go to the large Tesco Extra to get some ice cream and to throw all their custard filled doughnuts on the floor and stamp on them (cos putting custard in the space reserved for jam is sacrilege - and as for ring doughnuts, that is just silly)
Your lack of faith disappoints me
Didn't get an ahem tho did he oracle?!
Erm....
A little bratty tonight?
Daizy is in so. Much. Trouble!!
You can put the wooden spoon down now sweetheart
Well out of the reach of certain people."
The oracle is quite tall so make sure you put it up somewhere really high. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The Oracle srnses a najor derailment has occurred.
.
She knew this would be the case.
Hence the title of the thread identifying it as a short session"
Pfft |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oracle, will I remember the million and 1 things I need to do in the morning or am I going to forget something important? "
You will excel tomorrow.
I can see it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Jennie, the wise owl.
Sorry to bother you at this late hour but I can't sleep without knowing the answer...
Is a slug a snail that's been evicted?"
Yes.
It is. |
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"Dearest darling Jenefique,
When will the men folk learn to read a header/status/profile? I'm losing the will to Fab
Thanks angel x
They won't
It is one of nature's immutable constants.
They are all dinny saps innit"
Pah ha ha... dinlos the lot of 'em |
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