"Be into it. Negotiate boundaries beforehand. Communication. Have safe words if it's new to both parties."
This, all of this. If you are going to use gags which of course can make it difficult to use/understand safe words, place something in her hand and if she needs to yellow she lets it dangle from her fingers, if she needs to red she drops it on the floor. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"Talk extensively about what "sex sub" means to each of you. Don't presume the other has the same ideas of what it means. If you don't it might end up not being the experience you hoped for. "
This, I have heard of 'sub slut" but "sex sub" needs explaining and ensuring you and your partner are on the same page.
Also if your partner is not used to rope and the safety requirements that go with using rope, then cuffs may be a good alternative. |
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The most important thing to remember is that just because you are being sub, you both have to realise and know that you are in control, NOT the Dom..
You must be explicit about what you want and more importantly don't want. Have a clear safeword. Also try the traffic light approach too, green is it's ok . Amber is getting a bit much so back off a bit.. Red is stop . NOT end scene but stop just for a bit to see if you're ok to continue. However! The Second you're not happy, comfortable use your safeword and end scene.
Any form of ties, rope, ties must have scissors at the ready for instant release. And aftercare is paramount.. no matter how the scene ends.. aftercare has to be there. Blankets, cuddles.. and nice foods..
Also.. debriefing is important too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve asked M to tie me up and treat me like his sex sub this Friday… does anyone have any tips for this sort of play?"
Just do as you're told 
Always best to have a very honest discussion about what you're hoping will happen in advance and what dynamic will really work for you. It gets trickier having this conversation during the moment, especially with your mouth full. |
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"I’ve asked M to tie me up and treat me like his sex sub this Friday… does anyone have any tips for this sort of play?"
Blind fold is nice . Hair in buns and a collar on . Tell him you want to be his good girl. |
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Some great replies here, this is M now, thanks for taking the time to reply. I personally am looking forward to having my way with Gina but also discussing boundaries and safe words and making it about her too, it won't be too heavy but enough to hopefully get Gina into subspace, she's been there once before and so desperately wants to go back. We particularly liked the cuddles after reply too, this I feel will be a must do. Will update you guys how it went if you like |
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"Some great replies here, this is M now, thanks for taking the time to reply. I personally am looking forward to having my way with Gina but also discussing boundaries and safe words and making it about her too, it won't be too heavy but enough to hopefully get Gina into subspace, she's been there once before and so desperately wants to go back. We particularly liked the cuddles after reply too, this I feel will be a must do. Will update you guys how it went if you like"
Hiya, subspace is a very weird thing. Sometimes you'll drop and others you won't. Wanting it to happen is likely to hinder, a bit like when you thinking too much about cuming it won't happen. Also need to consider sub drop, it wasn't something we were aware of when we first started out. It was absolutely horrendous and we genuinely thought we'd broken me for a few days. It was not nice it was actually scary.
You both also need to consider that Dom drop is a thing. And it's hard to navigate if you've both dropped.
Just take it easy and don't focus too much about subspace, better to take your time to get there, that doing it and it ending up in a bad crash. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be mindful of the fact you both may not not know all of your limits and boundaries. Make sure you have a good communication process if you need to stop if something presents itself and don't be afraid to stop and talk it through at that moment.
What a scene looks like in your head compared to how it plays out can be vastly different.
There are online checklists which are good to make you think of things you may not have thought of yourself.
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Some great replies here, this is M now, thanks for taking the time to reply. I personally am looking forward to having my way with Gina but also discussing boundaries and safe words and making it about her too, it won't be too heavy but enough to hopefully get Gina into subspace, she's been there once before and so desperately wants to go back. We particularly liked the cuddles after reply too, this I feel will be a must do. Will update you guys how it went if you like"
You know when you have sex and you enjoy it but you know you could have lasted longer, done a different positions, teased more, tried a different room, but instead you just have sex. If you're not enjoying doing what you're doing it's unlikely she will. If you're not concentrating, putting in effort, being imaginative, keeping her on her toes, making her think 'what's happening or where is this leading' it's just some spanks on the bum, some scratches, some on off fingering to finish. You don't thrown the kitchen sink in but build from the start, taking away and adding as you play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Communicate.
Before you even take a step into that play remember that there is a huge risk of real harm both physical and psychological.
Oh yes that innocent wrist restraint may seem harmless, until you fall over and cannot stop your face meeting the floor.
Have a safe word, no have two safewords. One for when you are not sure of your place in the world and need a minute to centre and the OHSHIT Stop right now I am NOT okay word.
Anytime rope or restraint is involved, have a pair of scissors or cutting implement that can deal with the restraints ie using 10mm cotton rop.e, make sure they cut through in seconds.
Learn where is safe and where is not to do impact play. If you are the top, take ownership of your craft and practice. Bottoming for the first time? Remember you are equally responsible for the scene.
There are so many things a wall of text could be made, and I have not even touched on the psychology or biochemistry.
Anyway, DM is open if you would like advice  |
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