FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I seen posts saying meets are hard to find
I seen posts saying meets are hard to find
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can understand from a man's pov it's hard to meet women here and maybe couples finding couples . But surley not couples and women seeking single men ? From what I read here its 100 men to 1 women / couple. Anyone shed any light on this ? |
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Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site"  |
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It's not about the number of single men that makes it hard for couples to meet single men. It's all about the quality.
Taking from my own pov when we are looking to invite single men into our relationship it is all down to who they are as a person, respect etc.
We get so many offers that are just about the single man wanting to join so they can have sex with Tinder. No conversation or thoughts about what my expectations of them are and where I would actually fit into the scenario.
Single men need to do better IMHO.
Marc |
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"I can understand from a man's pov it's hard to meet women here and maybe couples finding couples . But surley not couples and women seeking single men ? From what I read here its 100 men to 1 women / couple. Anyone shed any light on this ? "
Lack of 3 way connection (even with just MF play Mr Fox has to vibe with the guy) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t think it’s just a question of meeting it’s more about finding a guy actually worth the time and effort, from conversations I’ve had I do think it’s hard for them to find ones that they want to chat more to and get to know.
Personally I find this place is like most things in life we will get out of it what we put in to it !! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's not about the number of single men that makes it hard for couples to meet single men. It's all about the quality.
Taking from my own pov when we are looking to invite single men into our relationship it is all down to who they are as a person, respect etc.
We get so many offers that are just about the single man wanting to join so they can have sex with Tinder. No conversation or thoughts about what my expectations of them are and where I would actually fit into the scenario.
Single men need to do better IMHO.
Marc"
I completely agree with you hear . There has to be respect and obviously not just gonna pick any old dick and Harry especially when your inviting a 3rd into your sex life which is obviously very private etc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's not about the number of single men that makes it hard for couples to meet single men. It's all about the quality.
Taking from my own pov when we are looking to invite single men into our relationship it is all down to who they are as a person, respect etc.
We get so many offers that are just about the single man wanting to join so they can have sex with Tinder. No conversation or thoughts about what my expectations of them are and where I would actually fit into the scenario.
Single men need to do better IMHO.
Marc
I completely agree with you hear . There has to be respect and obviously not just gonna pick any old dick and Harry especially when your inviting a 3rd into your sex life which is obviously very private etc "
Here* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not that easy at all younsay its a womans world on here.. try having 20 cock shots in ur inbox with lame messages asking if your free!
I for one need attraction i dont want to see your cock
Ive actually gave up meeting its just to difficult |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It’s a woman’s world on here and men just live in it "
Yeah, nah.
Life on Fab is what you make it.
If you really believe there's some kind of pecking order with men at the bottom then you'll likely find that to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
And therein lies the problem........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site" "
Completely agree … also as a single guy I’m suppose to just take whatever gets offered and should feel privileged of that offer as so many guys to choose from  well that’s what I’ve been told previously |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My pov op..
'will you fuck me tonight' messages from strangers, no fab rule is to be safe at all times
The guys who spin yarns and yarns of dribble and it is all fibs.
Learning the art of seduction is key.
Learning to converse in the right way, the polite way, respecting peoples wishes, not getting upset at being rejected.
Hardest part 2023.. Conversation not lets shag now messages. |
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site"
Completely agree … also as a single guy I’m suppose to just take whatever gets offered and should feel privileged of that offer as so many guys to choose from well that’s what I’ve been told previously "
One of my partners occasionally gets shitty messages about how he has no right to be so picky as a single man on here.
Some people are incredibly entitled  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site"
Completely agree … also as a single guy I’m suppose to just take whatever gets offered and should feel privileged of that offer as so many guys to choose from well that’s what I’ve been told previously
One of my partners occasionally gets shitty messages about how he has no right to be so picky as a single man on here.
Some people are incredibly entitled "
I’ve had the same type of reaction when I’ve said I’m not interested …. Imagine just meeting anyone because they messaged personally I think the only way people like that will ever get laid is if they crawl up a chickens arse and wait |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My pov op..
'will you fuck me tonight' messages from strangers, no fab rule is to be safe at all times
The guys who spin yarns and yarns of dribble and it is all fibs.
Learning the art of seduction is key.
Learning to converse in the right way, the polite way, respecting peoples wishes, not getting upset at being rejected.
Hardest part 2023.. Conversation not lets shag now messages. "
I feel its important to build a abit of a conversation before just dropping at a drop of a hat even if that man has to wait months its all worth it in the end . I think men seem to think just because couples and single women on here are just 'sluts' and will fuck anything when that's far from the truth . We want to build a conversation over time get to know that person and when you feel comfortable take it further . When we make our joint account il be sticking by that |
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I've gotten had responses that would something to be desired after politely declining an offer over messaging or after a coffee.
Very few in fairness and I'm in no way comparing the female experience to mine.
I guess my point is that I have my preferences and not every meet is a match. |
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Provided you can accommodate, overnight if required, in comfortable surroundings, that means clean sheets on the bed, toilets and sanitary wear bleached, and not a sinkful of dirty dishes etc etc, you'd be surprised how as a single guy you can turn the odds in your favour. When your name gets around then that you are a very safe option to play with where limits are respected, very often couples and ladies will find you. |
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"It’s a woman’s world on here and men just live in it
Yeah, nah.
Life on Fab is what you make it.
If you really believe there's some kind of pecking order with men at the bottom then you'll likely find that to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
And therein lies the problem........"
I agree with you here. If you believe it is difficult then you start to chase more and that becomes apparent
Marc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you could read the messages in my mailbox on any given day OP you would appreciate just how hard it is.
For every hundred messages there may be one decent, genuine one but sadly it’s buried beneath the rest of the one word/liners, the vile, the crude, the bizarre and the downright disgusting ones.
Oh and the never ending unsolicited dick pics.
I often wonder what goes through a guys head when he sends one of these messages.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plenty of guys...but finding one I'm attracted to is hard!
And then finding out if those I'm attracted to are respectful and compatible quite often ends in not being attracted to them anymore. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It’s a woman’s world on here and men just live in it
Yeah, nah.
Life on Fab is what you make it.
If you really believe there's some kind of pecking order with men at the bottom then you'll likely find that to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
And therein lies the problem........
I agree with you here. If you believe it is difficult then you start to chase more and that becomes apparent
Marc"
I think one of the main issues is that some people are in such a hurry.
Whether that's down to sexual frustration, lack of attention or something else.
The more you rush and push for meets and responses, the more you see life on here as a competition with others, the more you seek a quick fix to garner higher levels of attention and the more you resort to a less focused, unhurried approach.....the less 'success' you actually have.
Patience. It's not just a card game folks. |
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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site" "
The words 'nail' and 'head' come to mind.
Just because men massively outnmber women and couples doesn't necessarily mean that women and couples find it any easier. It's all about attraction and compatibility |
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site" "
Exactly this.
I could probably have sex for breakfast, lunch and dinner if I had zero standards... but saying that, I still doubt they would turn up. That's usually the main issue!
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site" "
I really dont think this is true.
If a man just wanted sex, it is far easier to approach another man, than a woman he had to lower his standards for.
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The saying goes:
Men looking for women is like looking for clean water in desert.
Women looking for men is like looking for clean water in a Swamp.
I'd still fancy my chances of getting a drink in a Swamp over a desert though  |
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site"
I really dont think this is true.
If a man just wanted sex, it is far easier to approach another man, than a woman he had to lower his standards for.
"
The key word there was straight.
They're still having to compromise something |
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"The saying goes:
Men looking for women is like looking for clean water in desert.
Women looking for men is like looking for clean water in a Swamp.
I'd still fancy my chances of getting a drink in a Swamp over a desert though "
I come across a waterfall in the desert now and then, can taste a bit tangy though   |
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"The saying goes:
Men looking for women is like looking for clean water in desert.
Women looking for men is like looking for clean water in a Swamp.
I'd still fancy my chances of getting a drink in a Swamp over a desert though
I come across a waterfall in the desert now and then, can taste a bit tangy though "
I've never actually been to a desert or a swamp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can understand from a man's pov it's hard to meet women here and maybe couples finding couples . But surley not couples and women seeking single men ? From what I read here its 100 men to 1 women / couple. Anyone shed any light on this ? "
Standards maybe a reason for length of time it takes on all of us.
Standards.. Right from get go of a text.
Standards... Looks. Not everyone is attracted physically to each other.
Standards... Stop the pretence, the dribble, the fibs.. Playing games really in 2023 guys.. Sucks
Ghosting
2023...still doing it.
Being negative about experiences is back bone. Yes, rejection but for me it is the level of understanding each other. Hard to do any century. Man and women will never understand each other. Fab is not a free for all males, males are picky too. Women like to see visually, men just oh its a body lets see if I can fuck it. Standards... Quality of
1. Appealing
2. Attracted
3. Conversation.. Keep it quality |
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Make that couple profile op ,you'll soon see what it's like .
Just because there's so many men ,doesn't mean that I want to meet them.
If you're not bothered about who you meet ,then yes you'll have no problems.
On my single account it's v rare I find anyone who ticks my boxes these days.
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site" "
Exactly this! |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I think women have it harder to be honest. If you post projects to places like fiver and pph you get an idea what it must be like for women on here , sifting through an ocean of shit, demoralising ,thousands of time wasters and the good ones all have enough
When a woman or couple messages a man , in my experience anyway , she’s often a good match for him and messages properly. I don’t think the sane is true in general of men messaging.
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1: are you compatible?
2: do they bottle it?
3: do they say/do something that switches me off e.g. being weird about any other meets
Hypothetical numbers but, let’s say I started chatting seriously (more than just a casual ‘hi how’s you?’) to 6 guys during the space of a week, I might eventually end up socially meeting 1 or maybe 2 at most and perhaps playing with 1. |
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"The saying goes:
Men looking for women is like looking for clean water in desert.
Women looking for men is like looking for clean water in a Swamp.
I'd still fancy my chances of getting a drink in a Swamp over a desert though "
That's what filters are for |
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site"
I really dont think this is true.
If a man just wanted sex, it is far easier to approach another man, than a woman he had to lower his standards for.
The key word there was straight.
They're still having to compromise something "
Fair play i overlooked straight. |
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site" "
Love a lady with high standards and lowered knickers   they’re the bestc |
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site"
Love a lady with high standards and lowered knickers they’re the bestc "
Well, keep looking for that elusive unicorn dream |
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"1: are you compatible?
2: do they bottle it?
3: do they say/do something that switches me off e.g. being weird about any other meets
Hypothetical numbers but, let’s say I started chatting seriously (more than just a casual ‘hi how’s you?’) to 6 guys during the space of a week, I might eventually end up socially meeting 1 or maybe 2 at most and perhaps playing with 1. "
The odds are low, which says sometimes the goods are odd  |
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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago
Nr Leicester |
Neither of us will 'take one for the team'
Get the guy's pointing out some 'ladies' expect them not to have personal standards!!
Ironically Mr is possibly fussier than I and has been on receiving end of entitled, unreciprocated and frankly crass attention on a few occasions from women.. Which vice versa, would be utterly unacceptable  |
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"The saying goes:
Men looking for women is like looking for clean water in desert.
Women looking for men is like looking for clean water in a Swamp.
I'd still fancy my chances of getting a drink in a Swamp over a desert though "
I'm not sure I should laugh or be offended rolf
Marc |
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"1: are you compatible?
2: do they bottle it?
3: do they say/do something that switches me off e.g. being weird about any other meets
Hypothetical numbers but, let’s say I started chatting seriously (more than just a casual ‘hi how’s you?’) to 6 guys during the space of a week, I might eventually end up socially meeting 1 or maybe 2 at most and perhaps playing with 1.
The odds are low, which says sometimes the goods are odd "
Who’s the odd goods - me or them |
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"Well as Prey mentioned finding mutual attraction is the first stumbling block. The second is logistics. "
Third could be if the sent message actually gets read, and not lost in the inbox/mass deleted |
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This women have the power thing is a total red herring.
As if men don't have agency or preferences
The fact that there are so many so effort profiles and messages from men is not an impediment. It sets the bar so low that any man with a bit of cop on can at least get a conversation started.
I have thirty veri's. I've played with three people. Most from social events.
Establishing a rapport isn't easy anywhere. The difference with fab is that you have more opportunities to try than anywhere else.
It's tiring at times. But so full of potential.
(No I don't display all my veri's) |
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2 vastly different angles/problems from the male/female perspective here.
I would sooner be in the position I am in and put a bit of effort in to get reward, than be a woman and have to deal with 100s of messages, of which there is a huge percentage who pour utter shite into an inbox. Then furthermore have to deal with the sad fuckers who cannot handle rejection. Probably quite funny for the first day of two...
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The light to shed OP is that everyone wants something different.
Life is like that. And not everyone wants what I or you have to offer.
This is a good thing to me…. As life would be incredibly boring otherwise.
If I was you I would forget about statistics and concentrate on what you want to find and go from there. It works for me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can understand from a man's pov it's hard to meet women here and maybe couples finding couples . But surley not couples and women seeking single men ? From what I read here its 100 men to 1 women / couple. Anyone shed any light on this ? "
depends on the guys, when you get 50 1 liners to 1 decent message it wipes out the inbalance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The saying goes:
Men looking for women is like looking for clean water in desert.
Women looking for men is like looking for clean water in a Swamp.
I'd still fancy my chances of getting a drink in a Swamp over a desert though "
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By *neforutoMan
over a year ago
Fantasy land in the SW |
Im not sure about the power imbalance stuff, it does seem pretty obvious though that theres more blokes on here than women and couples. Im not really intrested in treating this as a 'sex site' as Im pretty sure I would have more luck at that on dating sites, Im more intrested in connecting and dialouge before anything else. I dont think I would want to have to open my mail box every day and delete the tosh Ive read others have dealt with (ive received many similar offers before applying filters) so I guess Im kinda fortunate to be a bloke looking and not a woman or couple looking. |
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site" "
Haha this made me giggle |
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"I can understand from a man's pov it's hard to meet women here and maybe couples finding couples . But surley not couples and women seeking single men ? From what I read here its 100 men to 1 women / couple. Anyone shed any light on this ? "
You've assumed quantity equals quality. Solved that problem for you. |
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site" "
Its cute that you think the men on here have a standard lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess it’s partly true, most people Iv slept with in my 30s are women who have got to know me or are in a similar social circle, work colleagues, friends of friends, neighbours or the mrs mates lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone.
Yes, I could meet someone today if I was willing to deal with any random penis I wasn't remotely attracted to. But so could any straight man if he just dropped his standards the way we're expected to, because "it's a sex site" "
--------------------------
100% this. As the male half of the couple, reading the messages we have daily saying "I wanna cream pie ya" is just revolting. Those that can't get meets tend to be pushy, weird, have not read the profile, can't understand why the husband would be managing the account etc.
Some, the conversation just doesn't flow, some the attraction just isn't there for A. It's an absolute minefield for those looking for a guy who fits the bill. That is for a (hopefully) decent meet. If A just wanted a dick then we are literally inundated with choice.
W |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can understand from a man's pov it's hard to meet women here and maybe couples finding couples . But surley not couples and women seeking single men ? From what I read here its 100 men to 1 women / couple. Anyone shed any light on this ? "
From my experience women and couples rarely put much effort in, but expect the guy to put in maximum effort
This leads to lots of the good ones just saying no thanks to these women/couples and only the desperate ones will put up with it
Most of the time when they complain about struggling to get a meet, it’s because they don’t have much to offer
I know a girl that’s on here that doesn’t struggle to get meets at all. But she messages first, has good chat/ banter and isn’t afraid to make her move |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nearly all of the messages I receive from men are cut and paste. Am I supposed to be grateful for a selection of men who have no interest in me as a person but hope that I might be "up for it"?
Now and again, I do a profile search and it's all cocks or blank silhouettes. Discreet fun x45.
Thank god for the forums |
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"Nearly all of the messages I receive from men are cut and paste. Am I supposed to be grateful for a selection of men who have no interest in me as a person but hope that I might be "up for it"?
Now and again, I do a profile search and it's all cocks or blank silhouettes. Discreet fun x45.
Thank god for the forums "
Working on mine, what do you think?
I really liked your profile I'll be in the TROUBLE area next week. I'd love to meet you for a SOCIAL and see where it goes from there. Ha ha ha ha ha.
PS. I love licking pussy mmmmm so good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nearly all of the messages I receive from men are cut and paste. Am I supposed to be grateful for a selection of men who have no interest in me as a person but hope that I might be "up for it"?
Now and again, I do a profile search and it's all cocks or blank silhouettes. Discreet fun x45.
Thank god for the forums
Working on mine, what do you think?
I really liked your profile I'll be in the TROUBLE area next week. I'd love to meet you for a SOCIAL and see where it goes from there. Ha ha ha ha ha.
PS. I love licking pussy mmmmm so good."
I'm visibly cringing, Hans! |
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"Nearly all of the messages I receive from men are cut and paste. Am I supposed to be grateful for a selection of men who have no interest in me as a person but hope that I might be "up for it"?
Now and again, I do a profile search and it's all cocks or blank silhouettes. Discreet fun x45.
Thank god for the forums
Working on mine, what do you think?
I really liked your profile I'll be in the TROUBLE area next week. I'd love to meet you for a SOCIAL and see where it goes from there. Ha ha ha ha ha.
PS. I love licking pussy mmmmm so good.
I'm visibly cringing, Hans! "
Right I'm making a thread about how rude women are on here.
I spent ages on that do you know how long it takes to cut and past that to 100 women? I have to change the town every time.
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"Nearly all of the messages I receive from men are cut and paste. Am I supposed to be grateful for a selection of men who have no interest in me as a person but hope that I might be "up for it"?
Now and again, I do a profile search and it's all cocks or blank silhouettes. Discreet fun x45.
Thank god for the forums
Working on mine, what do you think?
I really liked your profile I'll be in the TROUBLE area next week. I'd love to meet you for a SOCIAL and see where it goes from there. Ha ha ha ha ha.
PS. I love licking pussy mmmmm so good.
I'm visibly cringing, Hans!
Right I'm making a thread about how rude women are on here.
I spent ages on that do you know how long it takes to cut and past that to 100 women? I have to change the town every time.
"
* cut and paste |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nearly all of the messages I receive from men are cut and paste. Am I supposed to be grateful for a selection of men who have no interest in me as a person but hope that I might be "up for it"?
Now and again, I do a profile search and it's all cocks or blank silhouettes. Discreet fun x45.
Thank god for the forums
Working on mine, what do you think?
I really liked your profile I'll be in the TROUBLE area next week. I'd love to meet you for a SOCIAL and see where it goes from there. Ha ha ha ha ha.
PS. I love licking pussy mmmmm so good.
I'm visibly cringing, Hans!
Right I'm making a thread about how rude women are on here.
I spent ages on that do you know how long it takes to cut and past that to 100 women? I have to change the town every time.
"
Have some chocolate, luv |
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"Nearly all of the messages I receive from men are cut and paste. Am I supposed to be grateful for a selection of men who have no interest in me as a person but hope that I might be "up for it"?
Now and again, I do a profile search and it's all cocks or blank silhouettes. Discreet fun x45.
Thank god for the forums
Working on mine, what do you think?
I really liked your profile I'll be in the TROUBLE area next week. I'd love to meet you for a SOCIAL and see where it goes from there. Ha ha ha ha ha.
PS. I love licking pussy mmmmm so good.
I'm visibly cringing, Hans!
Right I'm making a thread about how rude women are on here.
I spent ages on that do you know how long it takes to cut and past that to 100 women? I have to change the town every time.
Have some chocolate, luv "
It worked! she luvs me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can understand from a man's pov it's hard to meet women here and maybe couples finding couples . But surley not couples and women seeking single men ? From what I read here its 100 men to 1 women / couple. Anyone shed any light on this ? "
I'm trying not to overthink it. People need to be able to click online, then click in person. Can't imagine that happens every time
I think enough has been said about quality over quantity around here
I personally find it difficult to stand out and 'make an effort.' Not because I don't want to. It's just tough being shy but I'm slowly trying to come out of my shell more
And still trying to get the hang of this place, figuring out how to write a good profile, uploading good pics, and such. Even without meets, I'm enjoying it. It's a learning experience. Trying not to be too hard on myself
Just as long as I'm getting out and having fun in other areas of my life then it's fine. Best way to be, I think |
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