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Valentines Jokes!

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By *ashful Baz OP Man over a year ago

poole dorset

I am going to take my girlfriend on a romantic carousel ride this Valentines day.

It's just a roundabout way to get into her knickers.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Will she be riding the Donkey ?

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By *ashful Baz OP Man over a year ago

poole dorset

"Will she be riding the Donkey ?

I wish!

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By *ashful Baz OP Man over a year ago

poole dorset

My wife said she wanted a treat for Valentine's day.

So I gave her a bone and patted her on the head.

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By *ashful Baz OP Man over a year ago

poole dorset

My gay mate (not you

another one)

who is dyslexic, can't wait for February 14th, he thinks it is vaseline day!

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By *ashful Baz OP Man over a year ago

poole dorset

Can't wait to see my wife's face when she gets back.

She hinted she wanted filling with a huge knob for valentine's day.

So I've bought the extra large Lurpak.

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By *ashful Baz OP Man over a year ago

poole dorset

Spoilt my girlfriend with a new belt and bag for Valentine's day.

Hoover works great now.

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By *ashful Baz OP Man over a year ago

poole dorset

Liverpool F.C.

The only men not providing any penetration on Valentine's day.

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By *ashful Baz OP Man over a year ago

poole dorset

As it's Valentine's day, me and the wife decided to spice up our love making a bit.

I surprised her when she got home by slipping my cock into a small round loaf of bread and trying to shove a muffin up her arse.

She called me a thick cunt and said I had no idea what roll playing meant.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Roses Are Red,

apples are fruity ..

watch your lasagne ....

it may be black Beauty

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By *ashful Baz OP Man over a year ago

poole dorset

A man walks into a sex shop looking for a vibrator for his wife's Valentine's present.

"How much is that big red one over there? That looks big enough," he says.

"Sir that's the fire extinguiser."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Can't wait to see my wife's face when she gets back.

She hinted she wanted filling with a huge knob for valentine's day.

So I've bought the extra large Lurpak.

"
Oh you not going to

fuck her then ?

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -|-

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Valentines jokes........

My Marriage

*cReEpS rOunD cRyPt* -|-

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By *ashful Baz OP Man over a year ago

poole dorset

I didn't buy my girlfriend rose's this Valentine's Day.

Not after one of the thorns burst her last year.

lol

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By *ashful Baz OP Man over a year ago

poole dorset

My Valentine's night was completely ruined.

I booked a table for two,

told the wife only for her to turn around and tell me she can't even Play snooker.

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By *ashful Baz OP Man over a year ago

poole dorset

To show how much I cared, I bought my girlfriend the perfect gift for Valentine's day yesterday,

wine and flowers from Lidl.

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By *nnyMan over a year ago

Glasgow

The chap made Valentine's Day dinner for his new girlfriend and told her: "Those chips you've just eaten actually came from my garden this morning."

"Wow," she smiled, "I didn't know you grew potatoes."

"I don't," the chap told her. "Some d*unk must have thrown them over the hedge last night."

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