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Chuck Norris

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Is the only man to ever break a Nokia 3310

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A great white shark once bit Chuck Norris, promptly let him go and apologised.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back.

Tinder

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By *nitterWoman over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

He once won an arse-kicking contest with a porcupine.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Tinder

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple over a year ago

Lincoln

Doesn't mow his lawn. He sits on the front porch and dares it to grow.

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Travelling

Nah. It's an unstoppable force meets immovable object.

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By *nitterWoman over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He wipes his arse with 20 grit sandpaper

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By *elvet RopeMan over a year ago

by the big field

Is over rated..shite actor too

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By *ndycoinsMan over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

Likes woodchip wallpaper.

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By *asycouple1971Couple over a year ago

midlands

Can ride a Penny Farthing with his feet touching the ground

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By *allWithTatsMan over a year ago

Wherever

Goes for a swim but doesn’t get wet, that water gets Chuck Norris

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is over rated..shite actor too

Agreed

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By *enSiskoMan over a year ago

Cestus 3

When Chuck Norris is in Rome, the Romans must do as he does.

Chuck Norris can charge a mobile phone by rubbing it against his beard.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple over a year ago

Leeds

Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally once, he came out with a sandwich and his shirt ironed.

The mr

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By *aucasian GhandiMan over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Chuck Norris is so ard even concrete crumbles around him

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple over a year ago

Leeds

I saw Chuck Norris wheelie a unicycle once.

The mr

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By *myAndScottCouple over a year ago

Tamworth

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Death once had a near chuck norris experience

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By *aucasian GhandiMan over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Chuck Norris once pissed in the fuel tank of a artic lorry, its now know as Octomus Prime

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chuck Norris once pissed in the fuel tank of a artic lorry, its now know as Octomus Prime "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

PMSL! I bloody love you lot, I was having a shite day, and this has cheered me up, I've got tears from laughing so hard!

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By *aucasian GhandiMan over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is

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By *aucasian GhandiMan over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Guns sleep with Chuck Norris under their pillow l....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bruce Lee had him x

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS over a year ago

Bristol

He doesn't do push ups... he pushes the earth down

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945.

World War II ended Sept. 2 1945 a coincidence? I think not!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Apparantly when filming the fight scene in 'Way of the Dragon' it took ten weeks because Bruce Lee kept shitting himself!

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS over a year ago

Bristol

Underneath his beard there is no chin... only another fist.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

When Chuck Norris was born, the midwife was about to to give him a slap: but she had second thoughts.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Time waits for no man, unless your Chick Norris

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

All the world's water was fresh water until chuck norris shed a single tear

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By *aucasian GhandiMan over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stares at the grass and dares it to grow

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris went to join the Jehovah's witnesses they took one look at him and became Atheists

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

Covid 19 came into contact with Chuck Norris and had to quarantine.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Grim Reaper checks under his bed every night for Chuck Norris

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Could it all be bravado?.... He might have a tiddler?

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By *aucasian GhandiMan over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Chicken norris doesn't grow muscles, muscles grow chuck norris

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris punched the ground and Planet Earth rung for a week after

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whilst wanking, Chuck Norris's choice of lube is the juice from the Carolina Reaper chilli pepper

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By *y the cCouple over a year ago

guernsey

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries.

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By *r_GreyscaleMan over a year ago

North Hertfordshire

He can slam a revolving door

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By *valanche1001Man over a year ago

Leeds

"Underneath his beard there is no chin... only another fist."

Star Wars & family guy references? What a super star

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By *avexxMan over a year ago

cheshire

chuck norris shoves live wasps up his arse

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

His first (all metal) TONKA truck was crushed by his heavy hands when he was a young boy.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"chuck norris shoves live wasps up his arse"

Ringer stinger

Shouldn't he been using the larger hornet?

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By *ongueandgroove555Couple over a year ago

Waterford

Chuck Norris counted to infinity ...twice AND knows Victoria's secret

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris walked into a bar... It bent!

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Chuck Norris doesn't break wind: he destroys tornadoes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them."
fantastic

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By *aucasian GhandiMan over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Chuck Morros doesn’t fart, nothing escapes Chick Norris

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Apparently the Flu gets a Chuck Norris jab every year

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By *irk_Dastardly.Man over a year ago

Marlborough

When Chuck Norris threw a boomerang, it was too scared to fly back.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris's cowboy boots are made from real cowboys

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By *ust little old me 13Man over a year ago

Preston

If Chuck Norris says it's 12 o clock......it's 12 o clock

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When Chuck Norris tells a joke, everyone laughs.

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By *ddie1966Man over a year ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

If Chuck Nourishing and an Xl Bully ever meet, the Xl Bully will try to have him banned and put down.

TAXI PLEASE!!!

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

CN has a beard, beacause razors are too scared to cut him.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Chuck Norris's wife irons his shirts while he's wearing them !

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"fucking Chuck Norris"

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