FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When you should block but you can't bring yourself to.
When you should block but you can't bring yourself to.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And I don't mean on fab only. A whole host of platforms, social media or even your phone or email.
In life, ex's, friends that turn out to be toxic, colleagues....anyone.
What would make you hesitant to block?
I hear it all the time people saying they just can't block them and they know they should.
I have one person at the moment that I should block. But I can't otherwise I make my previous words false.
But seriously I just should and not care that I'm going back on my word.
But I just can't go back on my word.
Do you battle with yourself over stupid stuff like this? If so what? |
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The only reason I've ever not blocked someone when I knew I should was when the police told me he couldn't be done for harassing me if I couldn't prove it was him from all the spoofed and burner accounts he used when the proper ones were blocked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You get one life - if someone has sufficiently pissed you off that you’ve even thought about blocking them - BLOCK them. Be true to yourself and what you stand for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the only thing for me that accounts for a block is someone who is detrimental to your life. Otherwise, people come and go and if I make a decision not to communicate with that person anymore I just tell them. There's many reasons I've cut people out my life but only toxic ones I feel the need to block completely. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Depends why you are wanting to block I guess.
But in the end just do it.
I had somebody that didn't block me but totally ghosted me. Life went on, I got over it.
Then out of the blue contacted me to reconnect. So I did, only to have the same thing repeated.
I should have blocked the first time. The second time I didn't hesitate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it might have been sensible to just block my ex-boyfriend when he ended it a few years ago. It took me 2 years to get over him and being friends on Facebook etc probably contributed to that! |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Yes I do.
Because despite everything else, I really hate closing the door on someone. I think it's because I have an inherent belief that despite a person's behaviour towards me or others, they're not a bad person.
I've had friends, loved ones, family say the same as you've been told before. I think I'm possibly naive. Possibly don't think anyone is truly bad. Who the fuck knows.
I also really hate going back on my words. I think that's the ND in me who takes things very literally and means them as said. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it might have been sensible to just block my ex-boyfriend when he ended it a few years ago. It took me 2 years to get over him and being friends on Facebook etc probably contributed to that!"
See there's a thing. Splitting in a non hostile way, staying friends....when really it's totally pointless, you're not going to get back with each other. So why not block and move on.
Does it feel like you're being the wanker if they've been polite and not actually done anything wrong? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it might have been sensible to just block my ex-boyfriend when he ended it a few years ago. It took me 2 years to get over him and being friends on Facebook etc probably contributed to that!
See there's a thing. Splitting in a non hostile way, staying friends....when really it's totally pointless, you're not going to get back with each other. So why not block and move on.
Does it feel like you're being the wanker if they've been polite and not actually done anything wrong?"
I distinctly remember him saying "we could have a nice little friendship". I just don't think his feelings ran as deep. We had nice little chats when it was Christmas or he'd been on holiday etc. It still hurt like hell. But I couldn't have blocked him because he'd been lovely. D'oh. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes I do.
Because despite everything else, I really hate closing the door on someone. I think it's because I have an inherent belief that despite a person's behaviour towards me or others, they're not a bad person.
I've had friends, loved ones, family say the same as you've been told before. I think I'm possibly naive. Possibly don't think anyone is truly bad. Who the fuck knows.
I also really hate going back on my words. I think that's the ND in me who takes things very literally and means them as said."
I get this. And I don't like doing it either.
But in some cases I've blocked to avoid further drama, not because I hate the person but just to keep my world free of something negative or draining. And I've also blocked when someone is nasty and angry just so I cannot receive anymore of it. Making sure I'm not leaving myself open to it.
Like a damage limitation thing or self protection when I know it's overwhelming me or has potential to. And sometimes that's a temporary block, I'll unblock and go back and say I'm ready to talk it through once I'm calm and they are and there's been some processing time for each.
Other times I'm fucking ruthless. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it might have been sensible to just block my ex-boyfriend when he ended it a few years ago. It took me 2 years to get over him and being friends on Facebook etc probably contributed to that!
See there's a thing. Splitting in a non hostile way, staying friends....when really it's totally pointless, you're not going to get back with each other. So why not block and move on.
Does it feel like you're being the wanker if they've been polite and not actually done anything wrong?
I distinctly remember him saying "we could have a nice little friendship". I just don't think his feelings ran as deep. We had nice little chats when it was Christmas or he'd been on holiday etc. It still hurt like hell. But I couldn't have blocked him because he'd been lovely. D'oh. "
I feel you on this...I do! Not exactly the same but certainly almost. |
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Tbh I always leave the door open but never bother them again. The way I see it is I’ve moved on. So have they. If it was a more serious matter like some have said above then I wouldn’t hesitate about deleting their entire existence from my life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I don't mean on fab only. A whole host of platforms, social media or even your phone or email.
In life, ex's, friends that turn out to be toxic, colleagues....anyone.
What would make you hesitant to block?
I hear it all the time people saying they just can't block them and they know they should.
I have one person at the moment that I should block. But I can't otherwise I make my previous words false.
But seriously I just should and not care that I'm going back on my word.
But I just can't go back on my word.
Do you battle with yourself over stupid stuff like this? If so what?"
I’ll always find a way to get blocked
It’s my genius intellect and talent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it might have been sensible to just block my ex-boyfriend when he ended it a few years ago. It took me 2 years to get over him and being friends on Facebook etc probably contributed to that!
See there's a thing. Splitting in a non hostile way, staying friends....when really it's totally pointless, you're not going to get back with each other. So why not block and move on.
Does it feel like you're being the wanker if they've been polite and not actually done anything wrong?
I distinctly remember him saying "we could have a nice little friendship". I just don't think his feelings ran as deep. We had nice little chats when it was Christmas or he'd been on holiday etc. It still hurt like hell. But I couldn't have blocked him because he'd been lovely. D'oh.
I feel you on this...I do! Not exactly the same but certainly almost."
Perhaps neither of us will do it next time, I think it adds to the grief. |
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I had to block a toxic friend on FB a couple of years ago and she proceeded to do exactly what I knew she would do which was stalk me on any other social media I had.
I knew that blocking would trigger her so I was hesitant but eventually had no choice. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Yes I do.
Because despite everything else, I really hate closing the door on someone. I think it's because I have an inherent belief that despite a person's behaviour towards me or others, they're not a bad person.
I've had friends, loved ones, family say the same as you've been told before. I think I'm possibly naive. Possibly don't think anyone is truly bad. Who the fuck knows.
I also really hate going back on my words. I think that's the ND in me who takes things very literally and means them as said.
I get this. And I don't like doing it either.
But in some cases I've blocked to avoid further drama, not because I hate the person but just to keep my world free of something negative or draining. And I've also blocked when someone is nasty and angry just so I cannot receive anymore of it. Making sure I'm not leaving myself open to it.
Like a damage limitation thing or self protection when I know it's overwhelming me or has potential to. And sometimes that's a temporary block, I'll unblock and go back and say I'm ready to talk it through once I'm calm and they are and there's been some processing time for each.
Other times I'm fucking ruthless."
Processing time is a good way of looking at it. Sometimes you just need to stop that negative cycle and have that time.
I'm never going to like doing it, not deep down.
And yes, I'm a soft touch but it's a very final move for me - it's not because I think the person is an utter twunt, it's because it's not working and everyone deserves happiness. Even if they're a bit twunty (like we all are!). |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
It’s very rare for me to block like that , but if it’s toxic / abusive and impacting me or people I speak to then I block completely and move on.
It’s not revenge or point scoring it’s moving past the issues to a new place and putting it behind you
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What's the worst that can happen if you block them?
I used to do things step by step... If we're talking social media, like unfollow, restrict what they could see, just withdrew from any interaction and then block eventually, if it was really needed. |
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