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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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Sexuality or kink. Predilections. Whatever you want to talk about.
So, I've always thought I wasn't really submissive. Far too bratty. I'm definitely still switchy but I've recently had the pleasure of discovering I can be very submissive with the right man; zero brattiness.
So. Have you found any features of your sexuality has changed over time? Are you more confident with age to explore/know what it is you actually enjoy?
Do different people bring different facets of you to the forefront?
Or are you pretty much the same regardless? |
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The dynamic is different with every person's chemistry. Though I have definite preferences I tend towards.
I found myself for the first time not being disappointed by winning the power struggle and actually relishing being on top for a while. That was new to me. |
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"Sexuality or kink. Predilections. Whatever you want to talk about.
So, I've always thought I wasn't really submissive. Far too bratty. I'm definitely still switchy but I've recently had the pleasure of discovering I can be very submissive with the right man; zero brattiness.
So. Have you found any features of your sexuality has changed over time? Are you more confident with age to explore/know what it is you actually enjoy?
Do different people bring different facets of you to the forefront?
Or are you pretty much the same regardless? "
Mrs M here, I've found that I am more sexually open now with age. I like to be both Dom and Sub with the right people. I love a woman's body as much as a man too.  |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Absolutely, different strokes for different folks. The dynamic is as individual as the individuals involved. And a change or different partner creates a different dynamic."
That makes sense. Obviously. Why wouldn't it? :D I think we all respond differently to people.
I think I was pondering it because some of my friends are very much (and this isn't a criticism) "I like Y, G wouldn't do it for me.".
And now I've finished being productive for the day, I was talking to a few people and realised that they all evoke, yeah I'll go with evoke, different responses. On a sexuality level evoking sort of thing. |
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Well, I'm naturally a people-pleaser so there are two aspects to me sexually. There's what I enjoy/fantasise about myself, and there's what I enjoy because the person I'm with enjoys them.
For example, I have been with submissive women who enjoyed being spanked, called names, etc. And I enjoyed doing that for them because they were clearly enjoying it. But I feel no inherent desire to do those things with women who don't request them.
Equally, I've been with ladies who were more dominant or forceful in their sexualities and I have enjoyed accommodating them too.
I think it's more a question of a spectrum with limits. Someone once asked me to do something quite violent and I said no, because I was not at all comfortable that I could do it safely, and it was also a level of violence that made me feel quite queasy - a little spanking is fine, but I don't find even consensual violence sexy in the least. Equally, there are plenty of things I can imagine a more dominant woman suggesting that would be a hard no. But between those limits...things are negotiable. |
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I’d describe myself as a chameleon.
I’m essentially the same creature, but I change shade depending on who I’m with.
I’ll never be submissive. That’s been proven. But I vary in shades of dominant to neutral(ish).
Sometimes the absolute filth bag is released. Sometimes a more gentle Misty.
Age has definitely brought the comfort & confidence to be what I am. Love what I am.
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I am more aware of the aspects of my sexuality.
A substantial part of that is that I like to explore with a partner. Which is why I prefer regular partners and developing intimacy.
There's sameness and difference because partners are different. So the idea of doing something I've done before with a different partner being 'what I enjoy' is bizarre conceptually for me as my enjoyment is not independent of the partners enjoyment.
Although there are some recurring themes for certain.
What I enjoy the most is a partner who can melt me into mush or have me snarling and growling.
I have become less desirous of anything, which feels like it does not have that potential. |
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"Well, I'm naturally a people-pleaser so there are two aspects to me sexually. There's what I enjoy/fantasise about myself, and there's what I enjoy because the person I'm with enjoys them.
For example, I have been with submissive women who enjoyed being spanked, called names, etc. And I enjoyed doing that for them because they were clearly enjoying it. But I feel no inherent desire to do those things with women who don't request them.
Equally, I've been with ladies who were more dominant or forceful in their sexualities and I have enjoyed accommodating them too.
I think it's more a question of a spectrum with limits. Someone once asked me to do something quite violent and I said no, because I was not at all comfortable that I could do it safely, and it was also a level of violence that made me feel quite queasy - a little spanking is fine, but I don't find even consensual violence sexy in the least. Equally, there are plenty of things I can imagine a more dominant woman suggesting that would be a hard no. But between those limits...things are negotiable. "
Me to a T |
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"Sexuality or kink. Predilections. Whatever you want to talk about.
So, I've always thought I wasn't really submissive. Far too bratty. I'm definitely still switchy but I've recently had the pleasure of discovering I can be very submissive with the right man; zero brattiness.
So. Have you found any features of your sexuality has changed over time? Are you more confident with age to explore/know what it is you actually enjoy?
Do different people bring different facets of you to the forefront?
Or are you pretty much the same regardless? "
A lot has changed sexually for me over the past 10 years, I'm mor confident in the sex department, I actually enjoy it (I never used to it was a chore) I'm open to experimenting a lot, I mean we don't know what we like until we try it right?!
Previously I wouldn't have tried a lot.
With the Mr it's so much more intense than I've ever experienced which is probably why I'm more open.
I can't say I'm into the sub/Dom stuff but I do enjoy restraining the Mr and doing as I please I guess there's an element of being on control I love which is so unlike me in real life too, I would like to dominate a man but I think that's better in fantasy than reality.
But yeah things have definitely changed over time and people (the Mr) has brought out a whole new side to sex I never thought would be my thing but here I am enjoying it all.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't see myself as submissive at all really but as much as I enjoy certain aspects of being in control, I wouldn't say I'm really into control either.
I love reactions and I chase those. I'm naturally a giver and a doer so it can be hard for me to switch that off and relax enough to be on the receiving end but with the right person, I can.
Chemistry and individual dynamics play a big part.
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I’ve become more submissive and added a wider range of things I’m keen to experience.
It would feel wrong to switch, like I was misbehaving. Unless it was under someone’s instruction, then that’s different. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"The dynamic is different with every person's chemistry. Though I have definite preferences I tend towards.
I found myself for the first time not being disappointed by winning the power struggle and actually relishing being on top for a while. That was new to me."
Do definite preferences include a penis down your throat at some point?
Oh that sounds really good! Are you comfortable with the fact that you relished it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only discovered I was sub in "later life"  so haven't had a lot of time to experiment. I do recognise that my desire to submit is partly dependent on my stress levels. So elements are considerably stronger when life is harder.
What I have learnt from a few interactions is that I am somewhat primal. That may come more to the surface in future. But I've still no desire at all to dominate. |
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