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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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When it comes to meeting people from here - do you find it easy to keep feelings out of it?
What do you do to ensure a simple friendship with great sex, no messiness?
Are you looking for/open to more or actively avoiding anything of the sort currently? |
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I find it super easy but probably because I'm happily settled, sex is sex, friendships are friendships, any intimate feelings are for the Mr only.
To be honest though sex and feelings is always something ive kept separate even single.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Feelings aren't a bad thing, so I don't look to locking them out. I find it easy to keep my "relationships" on here as purely fab related. I'm not one to get giddy or carried away. I wonder if that's an age/ experience thing? If I were to meet someone that blew me away, I'd like to think that I wouldn't need to keep my feelings out of it. When I was part of a couple it was different as it was more about the sex and less about anything else. There was simply no room for feelings for anyone I met. I just wasn't open to it. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Ummmm well I need some level of feelings, I need to like you to a certain point. The big feels though, I don't need those.
Honestly I don't think there is much you can do, either you aren't or are looking for them. Even if you aren't lookong you can't stop them creeping up on you with the exception of as soon as you get a hit of them, you stop. Don't let it develop further. But that's sort of the point with the feels, they just happen.
Some people I've gone off, some people I've caught feels for and some the feels have never progressed beyond their initial starting point.
One thing I think is a factor, is if you go in to something in the correct mindset. If you are lonely already etc it's easier to grasp for an attachment and have feels grip stronger and faster. You mind is clouded and just wanting to not be lonely anymore. They may not even be real feels, but you just long to feel them.
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By *apidaryMan
over a year ago
Chipping Norton |
As a youth, with a youth's inexperienced anxiety about sexual performance, I discovered that I could easily keep going without ejaculation almost literally forever. All that was needed was to damp down my feelings.
Took me more time than it should have done to realise what a bad bargain that was; to make sexual performance predictable and in one sense flawless, but at the cost of removing most of the reality. Even when I was able to switch my feelings back on, I'd find I'd missed most of the experience.
I'd no more try that cold trick today than I'd try and keep feelings out of any relationship. To enjoy somebody, to desire them, even if you've only met them that moment, unavoidably means you open yourself up to disappointment or to hurt, but without opening up to that you may as well not bother.
No criticism implied of anyone who handles things differently (or describes them differently); just reporting how I've found it to work for me. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
The are various levels of feelings. When I was active I would have friendly affection for the women I would meet but would keep it to that and was good at it.
Then she came along, and with time things blossomed organically. I suppose I was open to more with the right person after all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm pretty good at separating the two. Obviously if someone becomes a part of your life on a regular basis then you care about them but it's more in a brother type of way. We both know the score from the get go and I'm straight up with them from the beginning. I've had to cut ties with two people for catching feelings as it's not what I'm looking for and best for them in the long run. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For some it's much easier than others I suppose but for others the feelings are actually adding or enhancing the experience.
I want to get lost in the moment and feel it all, I enjoy the butterflies and all that goes with them.
The highs outweigh the lows and I think I'm pretty good at compartmentalising people in my life. I've learnt that skill the hard way though! |
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This is like a hobby for us so we don’t have any more feelings for our friends with benefits other than a friendly basis.
Yes, we are close with people and we are invested in them and their lives, but in terms of anything other than sexual feelings and enjoying them on a friends basis, there’s no other feelings involved.
Sounds cold when you write it but it works for everyone - if it didn’t we’d discuss things to ensure everyone was happy or comfortable.
K
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I allow myself the human experience of having feelings. Does this mean I’m falling in love? Not at all.
I feel connections devoid of feelings for and towards a person aren’t for me. I don’t need someone emotional invested where they are fancying playing house together, but to care for someone, be open, honest, share friendship, trust one another you so need to have some type of feelings mutually. |
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