FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How available are you?
How available are you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To someone you're sleeping with?
How much contact, are there set imes like when you're working or having your evening where you're completely unavailable and won't even reply to a message?
Or are you a free reign type?
And when does it all get too much and feel too intense? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To someone you're sleeping with?
How much contact, are there set imes like when you're working or having your evening where you're completely unavailable and won't even reply to a message?
Or are you a free reign type?
And when does it all get too much and feel too intense?"
I’m happy to talk to whoever whenever if I’m not busy. Otherwise everyone can wait if I’m working or something. A select few I’ll stop what I’m doing for but just because I’m sleeping with them definitely doesn’t give them special privileges.
And to answer the last bit, people in the sex world who demand phone calls or FaceTime irritate me greatly. I have a life outside of fab that takes priority, I’ll talk when I want to not when they say. And for those that love the ping ping ping of sending message after message after message when you can see I’m not online or responding? Not cool |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Generally whenever. If I can message/talk at that time without it being rude to whomever I am with or just simply unable to physically do it.
Sometimes I may not be in a headspace or mood to instant reply though. That will vary greatly. |
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"Usually, very. Unless I'm with someone else at that moment.
Someone else being another lover or just another human of any description?"
If I'm with one of my partners I only pick up if it seems like an emergency. Friends and casual people I'm more likely to give proper answers but mention that I have company and will be more talkative later. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To someone you're sleeping with?
How much contact, are there set imes like when you're working or having your evening where you're completely unavailable and won't even reply to a message?
Or are you a free reign type?
And when does it all get too much and feel too intense?"
Depends how much i like the chap. Usually i try to be as available as possible work and family commitments permitting. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
" And for those that love the ping ping ping of sending message after message after message when you can see I’m not online or responding? Not cool "
Well sorry!
To be fair if something pops in my head that I want to say it, I generally do.so off thst message goes. Then something else pops in later, so off that message goes.
I'm a ping ping pinger but only in the moment, never an "answer me Damnit!" unless as a joke. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" And for those that love the ping ping ping of sending message after message after message when you can see I’m not online or responding? Not cool
Well sorry!
To be fair if something pops in my head that I want to say it, I generally do.so off thst message goes. Then something else pops in later, so off that message goes.
I'm a ping ping pinger but only in the moment, never an "answer me Damnit!" unless as a joke. "
I don’t mean you you daft grump  |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"To someone you're sleeping with?
How much contact, are there set imes like when you're working or having your evening where you're completely unavailable and won't even reply to a message?
Or are you a free reign type?
And when does it all get too much and feel too intense?"
Just went through this last year. I had to be available when they were looking me, I was Thursdays and Sundays. But they would completely ignore any messages I sent.
I suppose I'm available like if I'm free or no major juggling of things was required. |
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By *opinovMan
over a year ago
Point Nemo, Cumbria |
It depends entirely on what's happening in my life. I do my best to reply as quickly as I can, but if I'm working during normal working hours then there's not much chance I'll be on hand to reply just then. Similarly at night, there's not much chance I'll reply in my sleep. Real life is just real life, and it seems perfectly reasonable to assume that'll be the same for anyone else. If that means they don't reply right away then that's understandable.
On the other hand, if I'm lucky enough to meet someone, I have a rule that I'm theirs to do with as they please at any time - within certain hard limits of course - day or night for however long it lasts. When I'm with them, my body belongs to them. They can help themselves to me or tie/cuff me to ensure I'm theirs entirely, even if I'm asleep if it pleases them. That's just the way I like it. |
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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago
London | Belfast |
Due to my type work, I can meet whenever I want, but I prefer to meet 2 times a week at most, everything more is like living together, and then I really need to have some time for myself, because I just wouldn't get any work done.
I realised this with my ex or this other girl, whenever I have someone over, I can't see to sit on my own for a few hours. I get distracted very easily. |
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Depends on my mood really, 3 weeks of the month I would like to be as available as possible (for actually meeting and sex) But as you know, there needs to be recovery time in-between.
I would never ignore anyone, just tell them I'm having some down time so not too expect any communication. Nothing worse than feeling like you're being ignored!
Mostly I go with whatever they are like with messaging, I know most people have busier lives that I do. |
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I can be very available in a practical sense and emotionally. Once I feel there's comfortable connection.
On the other hand I can also need my own headspace and have been told: I'm all or nothing in the past. I think that a little harsh but not altogether wrong either it is related to my ADHD perhaps, I can get hyper-focused. I do well with partners who are comfortable snapping me out of it. Whether that's a subtle approach or an oi dickhead I want your attention - I don't really mind.
I try to get 'admin' done on one day and get that shit out of the way. I dont really like a lot of routine in my life though. I want to be able to do things when I am feeling it. |
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I’m not currently sleeping with anyone so not sure how relevant my answer will be but because I’m permanently logged in to Fab on my work phone, I will see the messages when I check forum from time to time, and respond when I can.
I’m however not the big chatter on here, unless I’m arranging to meet someone then I expect them to be in touch from time to time, otherwise I’ll lose my interest quickly and assume they found someone shinier/more available/better.
I am however, more responsive with people I’ve moved on to WhatsApp. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"To someone you're sleeping with?
How much contact, are there set imes like when you're working or having your evening where you're completely unavailable and won't even reply to a message?
Or are you a free reign type?
And when does it all get too much and feel too intense?"
I'm pretty flexible, even when working. The joy of being self employed I guess.
There are times I can't answer like anyone. But I'm usually pretty quick to answer messages.
Never been one for constant chat though. There are sensible limits, everyone needs their quiet time to themselves and if people get huffy because you don't answer a message fast enough in their eyes or pick up the phone when they call instead of letting it go to voicemail every now and then, then that's on them - not you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm. I'm not sleeping with anyone atm. I'm quite like Kaitonel - if something pops in my head, I will message. I'm available a lot up until my life gets insane again and then I tend to shut off because I'm dealing with autistic meltdown. It's always been hard to explain that to guys. |
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I'm just rubbish  I may reply in 2.5 secs or 2 weeks, it just depends. I'm crap at actually replying to messages, I tend to reply in my head and not realise. My free time is generally fairly limited but for the foreseeable, non existent.
If my phone gets hammered or I get nagged for not responding, you're gone. I don't have time for that shit and I'll happily say so.
I have a really busy life away from Fab, I will make time for people I care about but they understand from the beginning that I run around like a headless chicken on a daily basis and I forget shit, a lot. |
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I’ll reply when I can and expect the same in return. If I’m too busy at work or if I’m busy with other friends/ family then I’d wait until I had time to compromise a decent message rather then just bashing out something thoughtless for the sake of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m always free.
Call me? 
Call me - call me
No time to hesitate - we must communicate
Call me - call me
Won't you call this number nowwwww"
I preferred Spagna, can’t beat a bit of 80s EuroPop!
Call me call me
Baby baby call me now
Call me call me
D-d-do it baby please..
They don’t write ‘em like that any more! |
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I try to reply to all my friends when I can. But if I can’t I can’t. That’s life. If it gets where someone is sending messages a lot… and being annoying about it I just put them on silent. I’m not prescriptive about how and when I answer and I don’t ever expect an answer from anyone until they’re ready too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose I'm pretty available when it comes to people contacting me. I always reply when I can.
I try to read people to know when they might want some space though and respect that.
I'm also very aware that not everyone wants lots of chat and I'm OK with that too.
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"I’ll reply when I can and expect the same in return. If I’m too busy at work or if I’m busy with other friends/ family then I’d wait until I had time to compromise a decent message rather then just bashing out something thoughtless for the sake of it."
*comprise  |
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By *929Man
over a year ago
bedlington |
Didn’t realise this was about texts thought it was about free time in general
Texts I’m fucking useless with, if at work I won’t even look at it unless I’m expecting a work related text. Sometimes I’ll remember to check at dinnertime. Most times I’ll reply to messages late evening after everything done |
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"I try to reply to all my friends when I can. But if I can’t I can’t. That’s life. If it gets where someone is sending messages a lot… and being annoying about it I just put them on silent. I’m not prescriptive about how and when I answer and I don’t ever expect an answer from anyone until they’re ready too. "
Totally agree  |
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I’m not very available. Literally, or emotionally.
That doesn’t mean I’m closed off - just that my priorities are elsewhere in life. I put myself, my own fun, a long way down the list. And that’s what this place is to me - where I come to enjoy myself (and hopefully make a few other people smile while I’m at it).
So I’m always happy to chat. But I’ll reply when I have time. Not instantly.
And if we’re sleeping together I’ll be 100% present in the moment. But it probably won’t be happening often. Like most of us, I’m just not free to fuck at the drop of a hat. Or knickers. No matter how much I might want to be. |
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"I’m not very available. Literally, or emotionally.
That doesn’t mean I’m closed off - just that my priorities are elsewhere in life. I put myself, my own fun, a long way down the list. And that’s what this place is to me - where I come to enjoy myself (and hopefully make a few other people smile while I’m at it).
So I’m always happy to chat. But I’ll reply when I have time. Not instantly.
And if we’re sleeping together I’ll be 100% present in the moment. But it probably won’t be happening often. Like most of us, I’m just not free to fuck at the drop of a hat. Or knickers. No matter how much I might want to be."
You wear knickers?  |
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I'm pretty rubbish at messaging, mainly because I don't like the whole process of it, it's such a faff.
My phone is permanently on silent, so anyone can message whenever they want to....it's the luck of the draw whether I reply straight away, in a few hours/days, or not at all.
Ring me and I'll happily chat for hours. |
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By *mf123Man
over a year ago
with one foot out the door |
As i cant mentally give all of myself i try to give none of myself and not bother meeting em to begin with at least im being fair to the person my willy could have been resting in at the time that way im far too potent to risk upset |
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"I’ll reply when I can and expect the same in return. If I’m too busy at work or if I’m busy with other friends/ family then I’d wait until I had time to compromise a decent message rather then just bashing out something thoughtless for the sake of it.
*comprise "
*compose, or was that intentional?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not sleeping with them (yet), but the person I fancy basically comes along with me as I’m living life. There are times it’s hours between messages, and other times it’s seconds between responses mutually. We’ve also video chatted once or twice. Exchange voice notes sometimes when it’s easier to instead of texting.
We vary as we both have lives to live, work to do, and other responsibilities throughout our days but we do remain in constant and frequent contact daily.
I was in a different time zone with more than five hours difference between us and we managed to frequently communicate then too. |
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"We happily play message tennis, no pressure or 25 why aren't you speaking to me messages. We reply when we can "
This sounds like me! As for when I'm actually available in person - pretty much never  |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I'm just rubbish I may reply in 2.5 secs or 2 weeks, it just depends. I'm crap at actually replying to messages, I tend to reply in my head and not realise. My free time is generally fairly limited but for the foreseeable, non existent.
If my phone gets hammered or I get nagged for not responding, you're gone. I don't have time for that shit and I'll happily say so.
I have a really busy life away from Fab, I will make time for people I care about but they understand from the beginning that I run around like a headless chicken on a daily basis and I forget shit, a lot. "
Exactly This ^ we are all grown ups with life’s, families, friends and fab is a small part.
Hammering messages out like a stalker or moaning about / deleting unanswered messages and you’re history ! |
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