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Men who send abuse when they are turned down

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place

Why guys?

Take it like a man and move on.

I've seen so many status updates from women about this shit it's really not on.

It also spoils it for the year I'd us.

If you sign up for fab please leave your ego at the door, you won't be for everyone, accept it move on and don't reply with crap!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Because people suck.

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place

They do indeed my friend

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By *nitterWoman  over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Human nature

Some humans just can’t be civil (shrug)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Had this lots, don't even need to say no to some, if you don't reply they get nasty and insult you. Doubt they get many meets that way

Thankfully there's still some nice guys about too

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By *ustBoWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Why would it spoil it for you if you don't do that.

And women can be just as abusive on here when told no as well.

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place

Heck I've been turned down sooo many times on my life, not at any point has it made me think, I know lets hurl abuse

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

that’s told ‘em.

Ladies, for the record can it be noted that this is my view too and I’m fully in agreement.

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By *jorkishMan  over a year ago

Seaforth

Faceless egotistical men active brave (sic) behind a keyboard

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli

If they don't want my penis I just assume they have bad taste and then I'm not interested anymore anyway

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman  over a year ago

all loved up

It always amuses me when this happens .. x

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman  over a year ago

Wherever

Well said.

Don’t forget those cowards who also block you straight away so you can’t respond to the abuse.

I mean, I’m pretty thick skinned but often when it happens over and over you really start to question your presence on here.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Better that they send the abuse - so the real personality is clear. Unable to take a no online is probably the least of their behavioural problems.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's amazing how a gorgeous woman who is worth messaging suddenly turns into a fat ugly slapper when they say no to a man.

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By *aizyWoman  over a year ago

west midlands


"Better that they send the abuse - so the real personality is clear. Unable to take a no online is probably the least of their behavioural problems. "

This is so true.

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place


"Why would it spoil it for you if you don't do that.

And women can be just as abusive on here when told no as well."

Because it makes women leave the site, or assume we are all the same.

And I'm friendly with lots of women on this site in the "real" world and have seen the messages they get

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place


"It's amazing how a gorgeous woman who is worth messaging suddenly turns into a fat ugly slapper when they say no to a man. "

I know, the fragile egos on this site !!

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place


"Better that they send the abuse - so the real personality is clear. Unable to take a no online is probably the least of their behavioural problems.

This is so true."

agreed

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By *alcon43Woman  over a year ago

Paisley

Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"It's amazing how a gorgeous woman who is worth messaging suddenly turns into a fat ugly slapper when they say no to a man. "

This is quite common.

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London | Belfast

The virtue signalling is strong with this one... Trying to get laid or something?

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple  over a year ago

Southampton


"Because people suck."

I'd quite like to suck you

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman  over a year ago

all loved up


"It's amazing how a gorgeous woman who is worth messaging suddenly turns into a fat ugly slapper when they say no to a man. "
I had a guy tell me along the lines that I was his perfect woman. How he adored my curves etc. I thanked him and explained that I'm not meeting at all just now.

. He then had suddenly noticed how fat and ugly I was and how he wouldn't fuck a manky slut like me... I told him thanks for letting me know

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London | Belfast


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab."

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story."

Sorry mate I disagree this isn't a service, and some women get literally hundreds of messages a day

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sometimes accompanied by shock that you’ve had the audacity to turn them down and you should be grateful that they’ve shown an interest.

If they don’t like hearing no, for me it throws up a whole load of other red flags.

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place


"The virtue signalling is strong with this one... Trying to get laid or something? "

No problems that end my friend, just chatting to a lady I know in the "real" world after seeing her status.

Showed me a message which to be fair is aborrant, we aren't owed anything for writing a nice message ffs - no wonder some men can't get meets

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By *aitonelMan  over a year ago

Liverpool

That'll show 'em!

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By *heonixrising500Man  over a year ago

Barnsley

Costs nothing to be polite and treat then like a lady

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Better that they send the abuse - so the real personality is clear. Unable to take a no online is probably the least of their behavioural problems. "

My thoughts exactly!

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

Men and women and trans can turn nasty when turned down - it's really not just a man thing.

People get hurt and lashed out. The best thing to do? Leave them to it. Don't respond.

Fab is a far happier experience when you're able to focus on the positives.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story."

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too?

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story."

You need to burn your book

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London | Belfast


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

Sorry mate I disagree this isn't a service, and some women get literally hundreds of messages a day "

So? 99% of them are one liners anyway. If I make the effort to write a nice message, I expect an answer, especially if it's been read (in that case the "hundreds" of messages a day are completely irrelevant, because the message has still found its way through once it's opened.)

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London | Belfast


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too? "

That is a stupid comparison. Whatever. You girls pretend like you're not rude for ignoring messages with effort, like oyu always do. But deep down you know it's not nice. You just do it because you can, but we all know that just because you get away with it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

And being so rude and entitled may rub some men the wrong way, and then you get your hateful messages.

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

Sorry mate I disagree this isn't a service, and some women get literally hundreds of messages a day

So? 99% of them are one liners anyway. If I make the effort to write a nice message, I expect an answer, especially if it's been read (in that case the "hundreds" of messages a day are completely irrelevant, because the message has still found its way through once it's opened.)"

Make the effort? Mate you are coming across like you think the world owes you something.

If you had 200 messages, didn't find any of the ladies attractive, would you reply to them because they made the effort?

Facts are men outnumber women in this site and they owe us nothing mate

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too?

That is a stupid comparison. Whatever. You girls pretend like you're not rude for ignoring messages with effort, like oyu always do. But deep down you know it's not nice. You just do it because you can, but we all know that just because you get away with it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

And being so rude and entitled may rub some men the wrong way, and then you get your hateful messages."

You are one of the guys who send the abuse aren't you?

Do you act like the world owes you a favour in all aspects of life?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman  over a year ago

ashford

Although not at all nice it is helpfull in that I think wow! Glad I didn't agree to meet that one! Some are unfortunately able to take rejection x

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By *nitterWoman  over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too?

That is a stupid comparison. Whatever. You girls pretend like you're not rude for ignoring messages with effort, like oyu always do. But deep down you know it's not nice. You just do it because you can, but we all know that just because you get away with it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

And being so rude and entitled may rub some men the wrong way, and then you get your hateful messages."

Offtttt here it comes

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By *ustBoWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"Why would it spoil it for you if you don't do that.

And women can be just as abusive on here when told no as well.

Because it makes women leave the site, or assume we are all the same.

And I'm friendly with lots of women on this site in the "real" world and have seen the messages they get "

Anyone who would jump to conclusions that all men are like that needs their head examined.

Why are women showing you their messages anyhow.That to me is ridiculous.And yes I've had abuse on here it doesn't bother me I just am glad I wasted no more time on them and block them.

And like I said I have seen women on here being extremely vindictive and nasty as well so this whole attitude that only men are like that is definitely wrong.

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By *apnDomMan  over a year ago

London | Belfast


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too?

That is a stupid comparison. Whatever. You girls pretend like you're not rude for ignoring messages with effort, like oyu always do. But deep down you know it's not nice. You just do it because you can, but we all know that just because you get away with it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

And being so rude and entitled may rub some men the wrong way, and then you get your hateful messages.

You are one of the guys who send the abuse aren't you?

Do you act like the world owes you a favour in all aspects of life?"

First of all, no. Secondly: Since when is decent human behaviour "the world owing me a favour"?

Stop virtue signalling so hard

I am out now. So don't expect any further messages.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"Why guys?

Take it like a man and move on.

I've seen so many status updates from women about this shit it's really not on.

It also spoils it for the year I'd us.

If you sign up for fab please leave your ego at the door, you won't be for everyone, accept it move on and don't reply with crap!"

It's not just men, the men get the brunt of this.....what about the couples and women who can be just as vile on the back of rejection, nothing really ever gets said about that.

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place

Women and couples who abuse are just as bad

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/09/23 13:41:31]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I got a saved list of rude messages.

Only yesterday, I said Not interested and got called a fat ugly slapper...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just checking in to see that

Men are entitled to a response

If women don't reply, that's when men get abusive cos they're frustrated

Can I use the I word now, pleeeeeeease?

PS Men aren't the only people who get abusive here

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By *urious KittenWoman  over a year ago

Neverland

If someone takes the time to actually read my profile and sends a good message that I can tell they’ve read it I will always respond.

If it’s just a one liner and a dick pic it gets instantly deleted it’s just not for me.

I have received abuse for turning someone down in the past. Things like fat, desperate etc. yeah I’m chunky and yes it used to bother me but now I just block and delete as they’re obviously not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just checking in to see that

Men are entitled to a response

If women don't reply, that's when men get abusive cos they're frustrated

Can I use the I word now, pleeeeeeease?

PS Men aren't the only people who get abusive here"

Say it! Say it! Say it!

Say it loud for those in the back!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too?

That is a stupid comparison. Whatever. You girls pretend like you're not rude for ignoring messages with effort, like oyu always do. But deep down you know it's not nice. You just do it because you can, but we all know that just because you get away with it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

And being so rude and entitled may rub some men the wrong way, and then you get your hateful messages."

There's no excuse for hateful messages to someone who hasn't said anything to you.

By your logic, if I smile and say hello to a total stranger in the street. It is okay for me to become abusive if they ignore me.

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast

What I've found since joining here is that status updates should be taken with a pinch of salt so I ignore them.

As others have already said the behaviour described is not unique to men.

The only abuse I've ever had on here has been from women and couples who don't understand the word no. They send a list of demands but turn into angry lunatics when I say thanks but no thanks.

Do I think all women and couples are the same because of that? No I don't because I'm not that shallow or fragile.

Of course some men are arseholes but any intelligent woman will know not to tar everyone with the same brush.

If I found myself blaming other men for my own failings I wouldn't be hanging about here.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Someone turns me down, or I turn them down, I block them right away.

It makes for zero cases of abusive comeback, and they don’t show up in my searches anymore.

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By * and BCouple  over a year ago

Durham


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too?

That is a stupid comparison. Whatever. You girls pretend like you're not rude for ignoring messages with effort, like oyu always do. But deep down you know it's not nice. You just do it because you can, but we all know that just because you get away with it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

And being so rude and entitled may rub some men the wrong way, and then you get your hateful messages."

Wow, just wow...

We do respond to respectful messages but that's due to receiving maybe 10 messages a week. If we were getting over 100 a day we'd need to employ some admin person to get through them all never mind respond to them all. We are a very respectful couple but that would be challenging. Plus we never expect anything from anyone who we haven't ever met or spoke to before

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds


"Why guys?

Take it like a man and move on.

I've seen so many status updates from women about this shit it's really not on.

It also spoils it for the year I'd us.

If you sign up for fab please leave your ego at the door, you won't be for everyone, accept it move on and don't reply with crap!"

In going against the grain here but I've had more women send abuse after a polite no thanks than the men.

Mrs

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

I always thank the flashers in the street, be rude not to right?!

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The way I see it, that’s just inexcusable behaviour.

But I’m not like that. I’m better than that.

Men like that spoil it for me. Because of them I’m tarred with the same brush.

But I’m better than them. And it should be known that I’m not like them.

Ladies, please be aware, I’m better than that, and wholeheartedly disagree with this sort of behaviour.

Because I’m above that.

And better.

and xx

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading

It honestly doesn't happen very often to me. Most just say thanks for the reply.

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By *aitonelMan  over a year ago

Liverpool

Question for the ladies.

Did this change anything?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too?

That is a stupid comparison. Whatever. You girls pretend like you're not rude for ignoring messages with effort, like oyu always do. But deep down you know it's not nice. You just do it because you can, but we all know that just because you get away with it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

And being so rude and entitled may rub some men the wrong way, and then you get your hateful messages."

Oh wow.

I'm keeping my mouth zipped to avoid a ban but wow!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It honestly doesn't happen very often to me. Most just say thanks for the reply. "

Thankfully I do tend to get this more

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Question for the ladies.

Did this change anything? "

Oh yes. I feel like a cherub now. And Dan Berks is better than all the other men. I didn't know that earlier.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Question for the ladies.

Did this change anything? "

No.

But I am wondering why no one has said what I'm thinking.

The forums have changed!

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple  over a year ago

Cumbria


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story."

I was about to write about 'nice guys' who think they are owed something but now I don't need to.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think it's pretty much across the board with men, women and couples who react badly to rejection. Life's obviously been shitty enough to them already to make them want to abuse strangers so I take it with a pinch of salt. Hopefully one day they find the peace they need.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Question for the ladies.

Did this change anything?

Oh yes. I feel like a cherub now. And Dan Berks is better than all the other men. I didn't know that earlier. "

Well at least some good has come out of this thread!

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By *oecutterMan  over a year ago

Clonakilty


"Why guys?

Take it like a man and move on.

I've seen so many status updates from women about this shit it's really not on.

It also spoils it for the year I'd us.

If you sign up for fab please leave your ego at the door, you won't be for everyone, accept it move on and don't reply with crap!"

Little boys in men’s bodied behave this way.

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By *cnugatugMan  over a year ago

Chatham

Ain't no need to get hostile just because someone said no or didn't reply. Ya gotta fall down first before you can get up not everyone is going to want to jump into bed with you it's just something you gotta get over.

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By *weetiepie99Woman  over a year ago

cardiff


"Heck I've been turned down sooo many times on my life, not at any point has it made me think, I know lets hurl abuse "

Hmmmm, i wonder why?!...

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By *nitterWoman  over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn


"Why guys?

Take it like a man and move on.

I've seen so many status updates from women about this shit it's really not on.

It also spoils it for the year I'd us.

If you sign up for fab please leave your ego at the door, you won't be for everyone, accept it move on and don't reply with crap!

In going against the grain here but I've had more women send abuse after a polite no thanks than the men.

Mrs "

You swore you wouldn't tell

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Question for the ladies.

Did this change anything?

Oh yes. I feel like a cherub now. And Dan Berks is better than all the other men. I didn't know that earlier.

Well at least some good has come out of this thread! "

Oh I'm sure you've subliminally persuaded reams of women.

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By *nitterWoman  over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn


"Question for the ladies.

Did this change anything?

No.

But I am wondering why no one has said what I'm thinking.

The forums have changed! "

I have to say I've taken a long break but it does feel a little different around here. Not better or worse just different

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman  over a year ago

all loved up


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too?

That is a stupid comparison. Whatever. You girls pretend like you're not rude for ignoring messages with effort, like oyu always do. But deep down you know it's not nice. You just do it because you can, but we all know that just because you get away with it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

And being so rude and entitled may rub some men the wrong way, and then you get your hateful messages."

your totally wrong. It's not rude to not reply.... however this thread is not about not replying... it's about when us ladies take the time to reply and decline an offer.

I actually reply to nearly all my messages.. the only ones I don't are because the messages themselves are rude or abusive to start with.

Even when I reply I still get abuse. Things like...

* but why... you have met less good-looking guys

But why.. are you scared ill ruin you

.etc etc

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"Why guys?

Take it like a man and move on.

I've seen so many status updates from women about this shit it's really not on.

It also spoils it for the year I'd us.

If you sign up for fab please leave your ego at the door, you won't be for everyone, accept it move on and don't reply with crap!

"

I doubt those who do it will reply tbh. So you'll just get other men apologising for men in general and women agreeing it will happen. I don't think it happens all the time though.

pt

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By *sername already in useMan  over a year ago

manchester

I send them flowers with a note saying “sorry for your loss”.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I take rejection well so any women that turns me down I just take it on the chin as I know I'm like one of the 100 ugliest guys on here which is fine

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By *dam_TinaCouple  over a year ago

Hampshire

Down with this sort of thing

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

When my filters are open I turn down lots of men.

Over the years it probably adds up to a thousand-ish.

I've only ever had abuse back three times, and two of those were because had been sarcastic, so I took it like a boss.

Either they were all relieved I said no or they were polite gentlemen who can take a no thank you.

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman  over a year ago

Naughty Lane


"It always amuses me when this happens .. x"

This...

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"I send them flowers with a note saying “sorry for your loss”."

*sings* I can buy my own flowerrrrrs

That was funny though

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading

Just so I am clear on your rules that I have to now follow cos some dude on the Internet says I have to.

Can I ignore 1 word messages? One sentence? What if I think your message is crap. Am I allowed to ignore it then? Please be very clear on your rule so I can follow it to the letter like the good little woman that I am. I would say the rules of the site overrules yours so no reply = no thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story."

Even when we do reply, we get abuse if its not the reply a guy wants

I've been told I'm a fake, a fat b!tch, a waste of space, I'm ugly, I'm not worthy of him (ok mate, you messaged me first) and a whole load of nasty abuse

And that's why I don't reply if I'm not interested, no matter how good the message is if he's not what I'm looking for

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

I think I'm going to get my act together and start messaging hot men-even if they live a hundred miles away.

I want to see what rejection looks feels like.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ain't no need to get hostile just because someone said no or didn't reply. Ya gotta fall down first before you can get up not everyone is going to want to jump into bed with you it's just something you gotta get over. "

Exactly this Op.

I got name called for being polite and blocking so there is no backlash. Saying not interested is polite. I am glad I blocked them. I will always do so. Being respectful and taking it on the chin like a man would.

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By *ltraviolet85Man  over a year ago

Redditch

Boils my piss when I see this on a status from a woman or a couple. Those that throw the abuse aren’t worth air to breathe.

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"Just so I am clear on your rules that I have to now follow cos some dude on the Internet says I have to.

Can I ignore 1 word messages? One sentence? What if I think your message is crap. Am I allowed to ignore it then? Please be very clear on your rule so I can follow it to the letter like the good little woman that I am. I would say the rules of the site overrules yours so no reply = no thank you. "

What rules?

Who made rules?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

This place is like the Wild West.

You need thick skin and that glint in your eyes.

Egos getting shot down daily.

Some days it’s just a massacre.

The mr

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By *ltraviolet85Man  over a year ago

Redditch

[Removed by poster at 04/09/23 16:51:53]

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry

Help me out, is this a man bashing thread or a white knighting thing.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading


"Help me out, is this a man bashing thread or a white knighting thing. "

Its bashing the abusive ones.

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By *essaMayWoman  over a year ago

Fairytale Wood


"Help me out, is this a man bashing thread or a white knighting thing. "

Both

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading


"Just so I am clear on your rules that I have to now follow cos some dude on the Internet says I have to.

Can I ignore 1 word messages? One sentence? What if I think your message is crap. Am I allowed to ignore it then? Please be very clear on your rule so I can follow it to the letter like the good little woman that I am. I would say the rules of the site overrules yours so no reply = no thank you.

What rules?

Who made rules? "

One of the fellas above. That we are rude if we don't reply. Rude and entitled.

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By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Nowhere

I just assume Ive mistakenly messaged a gay lady…. And move on… obvious really when you think about it - ‘hey bbe faf?’ - ‘No!!!’ - obviously gay!! My mistake!!

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry


"Help me out, is this a man bashing thread or a white knighting thing.

Its bashing the abusive ones. "

So epiphanies all round for the abusive ones?

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By *ltraviolet85Man  over a year ago

Redditch


"If someone takes the time to actually read my profile and sends a good message that I can tell they’ve read it I will always respond.

If it’s just a one liner and a dick pic it gets instantly deleted it’s just not for me.

I have received abuse for turning someone down in the past. Things like fat, desperate etc. yeah I’m chunky and yes it used to bother me but now I just block and delete as they’re obviously not for me."

That’s not strictly true. I’ve read your profile several times and I then sent you a message. You read it and didn’t reply even to say no thanks.

It was a comprehensive message not waffling and I thought it was a nice message but no absolutely no response. You didn’t even get a dick pick.

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"Help me out, is this a man bashing thread or a white knighting thing. "

I think it's someone constantly seeing women frustrated or hurt by the replies and speaking his feelings.

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"Just so I am clear on your rules that I have to now follow cos some dude on the Internet says I have to.

Can I ignore 1 word messages? One sentence? What if I think your message is crap. Am I allowed to ignore it then? Please be very clear on your rule so I can follow it to the letter like the good little woman that I am. I would say the rules of the site overrules yours so no reply = no thank you.

What rules?

Who made rules?

One of the fellas above. That we are rude if we don't reply. Rude and entitled."

Oh ok, I'll scroll up and read

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

It shouldn't really spoil it for the rest of us.

Really people should report this stuff from stopping the posters from making it a habit... but will it stop it completely? No of course not. I pretty much ignore the crap I sometimes get myself I admit, or I just send a clever reply. I've honestly had it all the time I've been on the Fabs.

FWIW (and this certainly isn't judging either way - there is no real excuse for it), I find the more care I put in my general replies the less it happens to me (I am on both Fabs and kind-of consider them one place btw).

When I feel I can't do that I just ignore the unwanted messages for a while (typically when they contradict my profile anyway, otherwise it's a quick sorryx or something). Anyone who has a problem with that has a problem with life imo. But some people do sadly.

pt

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

guys any of you that do this you are simply an absolute twat. happy to discuss

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry


"Help me out, is this a man bashing thread or a white knighting thing.

Both "

Ah. Efficiency. I like that. A twofer.

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By *essaMayWoman  over a year ago

Fairytale Wood

Me i just move on you know how they are going to react if you say no. Either block you or you block them. I have better things to do with my life than engage with them, or report the (pointless anyway).

They are a fact of these sites and they have paid their site supporters so you are not allowed to say no.

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Help me out, is this a man bashing thread or a white knighting thing. "

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Not interested - block -no abuse. It really is that simple

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Help me out, is this a man bashing thread or a white knighting thing. "

Schrödinger's thread

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It’s not just men that send abuse when they get knocked back !!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s not just men that send abuse when they get knocked back !!! "

Haha I love this humble brag...

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"It’s not just men that send abuse when they get knocked back !!!

Haha I love this humble brag...

"

lol. And like it's 50:50 anyway.

Every angle possible has to be stated in these threads eventually, it's the Law of Fab Fora. pt

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

The abusive nature of some people, is in the entitlement felt, a gods gift Complex, abuse is born out of rejection felt, not having the ability or the emotional intelligence to deal with these feelings in the correct manner.

The behaviour had become normalised, it only really gets called out publicly on the forums, men need to call men out for it, women need to call women out for it.

Will it ever change. I highly doubt it.

So the simple solution seems to be the block button....

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds


"Why guys?

Take it like a man and move on.

I've seen so many status updates from women about this shit it's really not on.

It also spoils it for the year I'd us.

If you sign up for fab please leave your ego at the door, you won't be for everyone, accept it move on and don't reply with crap!

In going against the grain here but I've had more women send abuse after a polite no thanks than the men.

Mrs

You swore you wouldn't tell "

Sorry but after the 20th unsolicited vag pic I'd had enough

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too?

That is a stupid comparison. Whatever.*** You girls pretend like you're not rude for ignoring messages with effort, like oyu always do. But deep down you know it's not nice. You just do it because you can, but we all know that just because you get away with it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

And being so rude and entitled may rub some men the wrong way, and then you get your hateful messages.***"

*** Yeah this is true. It's not nice to ignore nice messages.

I can imagine that even the nicest guy will get massively pissed off after sending nice messages and reading profiles and getting no response whatsoever. However there's no need for him to be abusive. But the not nice ones will be (abusive).

Thing is, it's the abusive nasty men who put the decent women and couples off from replying. It's easier to not reply even to nice messages.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why guys?

Take it like a man and move on.

I've seen so many status updates from women about this shit it's really not on.

It also spoils it for the year I'd us.

If you sign up for fab please leave your ego at the door, you won't be for everyone, accept it move on and don't reply with crap!

It's not just men, the men get the brunt of this.....what about the couples and women who can be just as vile on the back of rejection, nothing really ever gets said about that."

Apparently the women stick together because of some utter bollocks called 'the sisterhood'.

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Why guys?

Take it like a man and move on.

I've seen so many status updates from women about this shit it's really not on.

It also spoils it for the year I'd us.

If you sign up for fab please leave your ego at the door, you won't be for everyone, accept it move on and don't reply with crap!

It's not just men, the men get the brunt of this.....what about the couples and women who can be just as vile on the back of rejection, nothing really ever gets said about that.

Apparently the women stick together because of some utter bollocks called 'the sisterhood'. "

Count me out of that! I’d rather be in some hood with the men on here thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s not just men that send abuse when they get knocked back !!!

Haha I love this humble brag... "

Genuinely not at a brag at all I’ve had a few that just seem to think because I’m a single guy I should be grateful for any offer I get.

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By *nitterWoman  over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn


"Why guys?

Take it like a man and move on.

I've seen so many status updates from women about this shit it's really not on.

It also spoils it for the year I'd us.

If you sign up for fab please leave your ego at the door, you won't be for everyone, accept it move on and don't reply with crap!

In going against the grain here but I've had more women send abuse after a polite no thanks than the men.

Mrs

You swore you wouldn't tell

Sorry but after the 20th unsolicited vag pic I'd had enough

Mrs "

ffs I said sorry

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds


"Why guys?

Take it like a man and move on.

I've seen so many status updates from women about this shit it's really not on.

It also spoils it for the year I'd us.

If you sign up for fab please leave your ego at the door, you won't be for everyone, accept it move on and don't reply with crap!

In going against the grain here but I've had more women send abuse after a polite no thanks than the men.

Mrs

You swore you wouldn't tell

Sorry but after the 20th unsolicited vag pic I'd had enough

Mrs

ffs I said sorry"

Least throw a tit in there next time

Mrs

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"It’s not just men that send abuse when they get knocked back !!!

Haha I love this humble brag...

Genuinely not at a brag at all I’ve had a few that just seem to think because I’m a single guy I should be grateful for any offer I get.

"

That will still be bragging to many on here lol.

And is that really abuse?

I hope people do turn each other down with a bit of care and this isn't mostly about over-sensitivity to over-sensitive responses! Fab can be such a sensitive place sometimes.

pt

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By *nitterWoman  over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn


"Why guys?

Take it like a man and move on.

I've seen so many status updates from women about this shit it's really not on.

It also spoils it for the year I'd us.

If you sign up for fab please leave your ego at the door, you won't be for everyone, accept it move on and don't reply with crap!

In going against the grain here but I've had more women send abuse after a polite no thanks than the men.

Mrs

You swore you wouldn't tell

Sorry but after the 20th unsolicited vag pic I'd had enough

Mrs

ffs I said sorry

Least throw a tit in there next time

Mrs "

Deal

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We’re angry that BAD guys get their kicks

By being rude and abusive to chicks

We won’t tell them twice

They’d better be nice

Now ladies come suck our GOOD guy dicks …

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Brave big men behind a screen.

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By *TG3Man  over a year ago

Dorchester

I never get angry or abusive

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By *sername already in useMan  over a year ago

manchester

Can’t help but feel this would all be avoided if people just replied to messages

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"I never get angry or abusive "

Me neither.

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By *hellebelleWoman  over a year ago

ashford

Tbh I just ignore, block and delete that shit nowadays…. Because I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had the reply of “good, your too fat for me anyway but I was only gonna do you a favour”

Luckily I have the skin of a rhino as well as the body shape of one it seems lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can’t help but feel this would all be avoided if people just replied to messages "

And agreed to fuck us

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s not just men that send abuse when they get knocked back !!!

Haha I love this humble brag...

Genuinely not at a brag at all I’ve had a few that just seem to think because I’m a single guy I should be grateful for any offer I get. "

Exactly this.. For single women. Some guy yesterday said to me.. Was he the best offer.. BOGOF

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can’t help but feel this would all be avoided if people just replied to messages "

And agreed to have sex with the person who messaged? Is that the way to avoid abuse? Feeble.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can’t help but feel this would all be avoided if people just replied to messages "

Someone else commented this further up


" it's amazing how a gorgeous woman who is worth messaging suddenly turns into a fat ugly slapper when they say no to a man. "

Reply to messages saying no thanks and thats what you get sometimes.

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By *sername already in useMan  over a year ago

manchester


"Can’t help but feel this would all be avoided if people just replied to messages

Someone else commented this further up

Sorry for not boring myself and reading the entire thread, I’ll be more diligent in future "

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By *ananaman41Man  over a year ago

Dublin

The only reason the abuse is mostly from men is because its mostly men who are rejected.

If the tables were turned , women would be just as abusive.

So lads, cut out the white knighting. It wont get you anywhere

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By *uddy laneMan  over a year ago

dudley


"The only reason the abuse is mostly from men is because its mostly men who are rejected.

If the tables were turned , women would be just as abusive.

So lads, cut out the white knighting. It wont get you anywhere"

let them know your frustration lads, better out than in my grandma used to tell me.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"I never get angry or abusive "

Sorry to hear your inbox is empty.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I take rejection well so any women that turns me down I just take it on the chin as I know I'm like one of the 100 ugliest guys on here which is fine"

Don’t put yourself down mate. You’re too 50 at least

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can’t help but feel this would all be avoided if people just replied to messages

And agreed to fuck us "

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS  over a year ago

chichester

It’s pretty common with all genders tbh

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Mayfair


"It’s pretty common with all genders tbh "

Agreed. It most definitely is and I've had my share of abuse from disgruntled women.

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By *ittlebirdWoman  over a year ago

The Big Smoke

It’s not a common trait… and it’s not exclusive to men. But anyone who abuses anyone else because they cannot accept a no thanks is a twat waffle.

They don’t tarnish others… they just show themselves up. Pure and simple.

Also… it’s not exclusive to Fab. Life is full of wank splats. They’re easily deleted and ignored….

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By *ittlebirdWoman  over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"Can’t help but feel this would all be avoided if people just replied to messages "

What a stupid thing to say. But hey ho…

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By *ittlebirdWoman  over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story."

Ethically owe them a response?

Your ethics and mine are quite different.

And I know I’m not rude or breaking any law by dismissing messages that are unrequited.

Your effort may go into a message granted. My effort is entirely focused on something else.

Nice of you to presume that someone not responding is unethical. I know for sure how I am as a person. It most certainly doesn’t include giving someone who questions my ethics the time of day let alone a response.

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By *ymbunnyfitCouple  over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Had some guys turn very nasty after being very polite to them . Start being really aggressive either about me or mostly my husband. It's really sad as all here for little bit of fun nice naughty chat that may lead to more xx

Have to block them in the end because they will not to no for an answer. Luckily had some lovely guys who've been very polite and respectful even when being naughty xx

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By *alleyDaveMan  over a year ago

Sheffield

I don't allow myself to be turned down /ignored /or have messages deleted unread anymore ,as I stopped messaging people after my first six months on here with zero success . I've found my mental health has improved massively since I accepted I will never have any success on here .Now I just post in the forums.

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By *entBarryUKMan  over a year ago

Ashford

Some people can't handle the rejection. But what they don't see is how many messages single women get, it's daunting. That's why my wife left. Nobody can spend 2 hours a day replying to people.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Down with this sort of thing "

Careful now

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By *ealMissShadyWoman  over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

Sorry mate I disagree this isn't a service, and some women get literally hundreds of messages a day

So? 99% of them are one liners anyway. If I make the effort to write a nice message, I expect an answer, especially if it's been read (in that case the "hundreds" of messages a day are completely irrelevant, because the message has still found its way through once it's opened.)"

Expect an answer? Nobody owes you a thing, your choice to send a message, nobody asks you too.. It's even written in the rules

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I bet Laura Bates knows the answer.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

One thing we know about men from the overwhelming evidence bank of history: we just cannot help ourselves.

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place


"The only reason the abuse is mostly from men is because its mostly men who are rejected.

If the tables were turned , women would be just as abusive.

So lads, cut out the white knighting. It wont get you anywhere"

Don't think any of us are trying to be white knights mate. I just find it pretty ridiculous that some women have even had Darth threats for turning me down.

The male to female ratio is scewed as it is, the more shit like this that happens the more decent women will be put off and leave the site

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By *andering Welsh Guy OP   Man  over a year ago

All over the place


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too?

That is a stupid comparison. Whatever.*** You girls pretend like you're not rude for ignoring messages with effort, like oyu always do. But deep down you know it's not nice. You just do it because you can, but we all know that just because you get away with it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

And being so rude and entitled may rub some men the wrong way, and then you get your hateful messages.***

*** Yeah this is true. It's not nice to ignore nice messages.

I can imagine that even the nicest guy will get massively pissed off after sending nice messages and reading profiles and getting no response whatsoever. However there's no need for him to be abusive. But the not nice ones will be (abusive).

Thing is, it's the abusive nasty men who put the decent women and couples off from replying. It's easier to not reply even to nice messages. "

Not at all, nobody is entitled to a reply in any way shape or form

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By *sername already in useMan  over a year ago

manchester


"Can’t help but feel this would all be avoided if people just replied to messages

What a stupid thing to say. But hey ho… "

I see the sarcasm was missed here, not to worry

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"It’s pretty common with all genders tbh

Agreed. It most definitely is and I've had my share of abuse from disgruntled women.

"

Sorry, but *abuse* though? With your extravagantly cultivated image to pick at? Fabs 'lounge lizard' and all that? What actually constitutes *abuse*?

Is this always about immediate rejection or later on too? When does it happen?

I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable that I probably played this down slightly myself. Women can have a huge amount of paperwork here - and they get some shocking things said to them (ie genuine abuse for no reason other than a sexual preference or decision), no way is it *remotely* equal to most of the things said by women to men I reckon. I just can't see it, despite (in life, not Fab so much) knowing that women can indeed say suddenly abusive things of course.

Men get super sensitive and are always trying to find parity in work loads. Parity in anything - it's built into them. With women it's often equitable with them at best though (ie not strictly equal) - we often live different lives.

The more I think about this, the more important that people have the horrible actual duty of reporting this. It's horrible because a lot of people will want to forget it - until it eventually gets them down and of course at the point they can't. But really - when it is really bad - we all have to report as seen. Otherwise Fab doesn't have a chance of dealing with it at all.

pt

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Mayfair


"...Sorry, but *abuse* though? With your extravagantly cultivated image to pick at? Fabs 'lounge lizard' and all that? What actually constitutes *abuse*?"

What is the correlation between being cultivated (your words, not mine) and not being susceptible to abuse (your indirect insinuation).

The abuse is the invective language when not replying quick enough to satisfy her unreasonable expectations; their imaginative ways of engaging with me by sending unsolicited photographs of their pussies which necessitates a quick delete from my inbox; hurtful remarks when I suggest alternative dates because the date which she insisted on happens to clash with a critical medical appointment concerning my son (he comes first, always); random messages criticising my profile; lashing out because I asked for clarification on their question to me because I'm not very good with ambiguity...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too?

That is a stupid comparison. Whatever.*** You girls pretend like you're not rude for ignoring messages with effort, like oyu always do. But deep down you know it's not nice. You just do it because you can, but we all know that just because you get away with it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

And being so rude and entitled may rub some men the wrong way, and then you get your hateful messages.***

*** Yeah this is true. It's not nice to ignore nice messages.

I can imagine that even the nicest guy will get massively pissed off after sending nice messages and reading profiles and getting no response whatsoever. However there's no need for him to be abusive. But the not nice ones will be (abusive).

Thing is, it's the abusive nasty men who put the decent women and couples off from replying. It's easier to not reply even to nice messages.

Not at all, nobody is entitled to a reply in any way shape or form"

Of course. However what I said stands.

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By *carlett 44Woman  over a year ago

bootle

Luckily the good outweigh the bad. I had one particular fella say I was a fat slag n that he was gonna r@p@ me

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast


"It’s pretty common with all genders tbh

Agreed. It most definitely is and I've had my share of abuse from disgruntled women.

Sorry, but *abuse* though? With your extravagantly cultivated image to pick at? Fabs 'lounge lizard' and all that? What actually constitutes *abuse*?

Is this always about immediate rejection or later on too? When does it happen?

I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable that I probably played this down slightly myself. Women can have a huge amount of paperwork here - and they get some shocking things said to them (ie genuine abuse for no reason other than a sexual preference or decision), no way is it *remotely* equal to most of the things said by women to men I reckon. I just can't see it, despite (in life, not Fab so much) knowing that women can indeed say suddenly abusive things of course.

Men get super sensitive and are always trying to find parity in work loads. Parity in anything - it's built into them. With women it's often equitable with them at best though (ie not strictly equal) - we often live different lives.

The more I think about this, the more important that people have the horrible actual duty of reporting this. It's horrible because a lot of people will want to forget it - until it eventually gets them down and of course at the point they can't. But really - when it is really bad - we all have to report as seen. Otherwise Fab doesn't have a chance of dealing with it at all.

pt

"

I'm not seeking parity at all but regardless of what many would have you believe, whataboutery can have a significant effect on people's behaviour.

I don't send messages and haven't sent a single first contact message in well over 3 years.

Therefore every conversation since has been started or attempted by others.

Many of those introductory messages don't even say hello but just contain a list of demands for what I must do in order to meet them.

That varies from shaving my beard off to playing bi to travelling 5 hours each way on a Sunday night to attend a club that only hosts invitation only events.

Nothing nasty so far, just an enormous sense of entitlement from, I hasten to add, very well verified profiles.

The abuse starts as soon as I say I don't meet like that under any circumstances.

I've been told that not only is it my loss but that I'm too old anyway and too straight to ever be successful here.

I've also been told that they will end my fab journey because they have been here so long and have the power and contacts to do so.

I'm still here doing my own thing despite their predictions but to think for a second that men don't get abuse on here or when they do that it couldn't possibly be as bad as what women get is very naive.

I've no interest in competing with anyone or measuring my dick on an abuse scale but fab will forever be full of apologists.

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By *c12Man  over a year ago

South East

100% take it like a man.

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Mayfair


"... ...I don't send messages and haven't sent a single first contact message in well over 3 years.

Therefore every conversation since has been started or attempted by others.

Many of those introductory messages don't even say hello but just contain a list of demands for what I must do in order to meet them.

That varies from shaving my beard off to playing bi to travelling 5 hours each way on a Sunday night to attend a club that only hosts invitation only events.

Nothing nasty so far, just an enormous sense of entitlement from, I hasten to add, very well verified profiles.

The abuse starts as soon as I say I don't meet like that under any circumstances.

I've been told that not only is it my loss but that I'm too old anyway and too straight to ever be successful here.

I've also been told that they will end my fab journey because they have been here so long and have the power and contacts to do so.

I'm still here doing my own thing despite their predictions but to think for a second that men don't get abuse on here or when they do that it couldn't possibly be as bad as what women get is very naive.

I've no interest in competing with anyone or measuring my dick on an abuse scale but fab will forever be full of apologists."

...and all of my 'real world' experiences that I mentioned above were on the back of them sending the first message".

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By *otsossieMan  over a year ago

Chesterfield

I ignore them, and if they pester I block them.

This is why guys don’t get replies.

If you enter into discourse with them they think they’re in l, and won’t go away.

And yes, not all guys, but any is enough to be annoying.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

But I've turned some women down (nicely by the way) on here and got reported for no reason

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By *igbaps2Woman  over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story.

So all that mail from pizza companies, double glazing etc who put the effort into designing and printing leaflets deserve your response too?

That is a stupid comparison. Whatever. You girls pretend like you're not rude for ignoring messages with effort, like oyu always do. But deep down you know it's not nice. You just do it because you can, but we all know that just because you get away with it, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

And being so rude and entitled may rub some men the wrong way, and then you get your hateful messages.

You are one of the guys who send the abuse aren't you?

Do you act like the world owes you a favour in all aspects of life?

First of all, no. Secondly: Since when is decent human behaviour "the world owing me a favour"?

Stop virtue signalling so hard

I am out now. So don't expect any further messages."

If people are replying to your messages, surely it's polite to reply and rude to ignore?

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By *avrick180Man  over a year ago

Pontypool

It's not just the men that are rude and abuse some women are like it aswell on here

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I get abuse all of the time. I've lost all respect for Fab users.

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By *avrick180Man  over a year ago

Pontypool

Same here been called some names from women on here

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By *otsossieMan  over a year ago

Chesterfield

I’ve been lucky so far, but yes - the world is full of arseholes.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

For me shows a lack of regard to the person your speaking to, rejection is never easy if you've spoken for a while but if its early doors or first message you wish the person well life is about creating moments not hate

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By *rHotNottsMan  over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"I’ve been lucky so far, but yes - the world is full of arseholes. "

It’s happened twice to me now in 7 years, never underestimate how abusive and twisted some women can get when rejected. Thankfully 99.9% of women here are decent people.

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By *agpie and RavenMan  over a year ago

Leicester


"If someone takes the time to actually read my profile and sends a good message that I can tell they’ve read it I will always respond.

If it’s just a one liner and a dick pic it gets instantly deleted it’s just not for me.

I have received abuse for turning someone down in the past. Things like fat, desperate etc. yeah I’m chunky and yes it used to bother me but now I just block and delete as they’re obviously not for me.

That’s not strictly true. I’ve read your profile several times and I then sent you a message. You read it and didn’t reply even to say no thanks.

It was a comprehensive message not waffling and I thought it was a nice message but no absolutely no response. You didn’t even get a dick pick. "

I've looked at her profile and I've looked at your profile and I can tell you at least one reason why she didn't respond. Can't say though as I haven't been asked and it's a while since I've had a forum ban.

Frank

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By *hmygodMan  over a year ago

Telford Shropshire

I think the ladies have so much grief off men the nice respectful ones don’t stand a chance..

I’m always respectful and polite .. life is to short !!

Stay safe ladies ??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Best thing about threads like this, is I find ppl to block before the abuse happens

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Mr always says the biggest bitches he knows, are all men.

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"...Sorry, but *abuse* though? With your extravagantly cultivated image to pick at? Fabs 'lounge lizard' and all that? What actually constitutes *abuse*?

What is the correlation between being cultivated (your words, not mine) and not being susceptible to abuse (your indirect insinuation).

The abuse is the invective language when not replying quick enough to satisfy her unreasonable expectations; their imaginative ways of engaging with me by sending unsolicited photographs of their pussies which necessitates a quick delete from my inbox; hurtful remarks when I suggest alternative dates because the date which she insisted on happens to clash with a critical medical appointment concerning my son (he comes first, always); random messages criticising my profile; lashing out because I asked for clarification on their question to me because I'm not very good with ambiguity...

"

Sorry Im not unsympathetic, I just dont don't see them as being on the same darkly mysogenistic level some sad men can get to when they feel like they'll never get laid again. People I trust have told me in the past what goes, and it's gross.

Men do get shit too though I know ive had it.

Pt

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Don’t even need to turn them down. Apparently it’s ok to become abusive just because you haven’t responded to them.

They obviously don’t know the etiquette of Fab.

To be fair: Ignoring men on fabs is a huge problem and it's quite rude, no matter how entitled you girls feel about it and what it says in the "rules".

If someone makes the effort to write a nice message, then it gets read and not answered, it is very frustrating. And just because you don't legally owe anyone an answer, doesn't mean you're not being rude by ignoring. And in my book: If someone makes noticable effort, they are ethically owed a response, even if it's "no thank you". And that shouldn't be an isse, because 99% of the messages are without effort at all anyway, which are a totally different story."

This is hilarious

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I know topic i get called fake/windup/grow up/ timewaster/ this is down to guys only never had a problem with couples. Karen

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Mayfair


"...Sorry, but *abuse* though? With your extravagantly cultivated image to pick at? Fabs 'lounge lizard' and all that? What actually constitutes *abuse*?

What is the correlation between being cultivated (your words, not mine) and not being susceptible to abuse (your indirect insinuation).

The abuse is the invective language when not replying quick enough to satisfy her unreasonable expectations; their imaginative ways of engaging with me by sending unsolicited photographs of their pussies which necessitates a quick delete from my inbox; hurtful remarks when I suggest alternative dates because the date which she insisted on happens to clash with a critical medical appointment concerning my son (he comes first, always); random messages criticising my profile; lashing out because I asked for clarification on their question to me because I'm not very good with ambiguity...

·

Sorry Im not unsympathetic, I just dont don't see them as being on the same darkly mysogenistic level some sad men can get to when they feel like they'll never get laid again. People I trust have told me in the past what goes, and it's gross.

Men do get shit too though I know ive had it.

Pt"

Your levels are different to my levels. I expect decorum and manners...even from sad women who "feel like they'll never get laid again".

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By *opinovMan  over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

I can't understand why people do that, other than maybe to let off steam, but it just seems so pointless and self-defeating... I mean, do they think it'll make them change their mind?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just so I am clear on your rules that I have to now follow cos some dude on the Internet says I have to.

Can I ignore 1 word messages? One sentence? What if I think your message is crap. Am I allowed to ignore it then? Please be very clear on your rule so I can follow it to the letter like the good little woman that I am. I would say the rules of the site overrules yours so no reply = no thank you. "

I was just thinking the same,

I mean, if you EXPECT (in other words demand) a response, then apparently I have to obey!

Excuse me while I nip back to the 1950's and get back in the kitchen!

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"...Sorry, but *abuse* though? With your extravagantly cultivated image to pick at? Fabs 'lounge lizard' and all that? What actually constitutes *abuse*?

What is the correlation between being cultivated (your words, not mine) and not being susceptible to abuse (your indirect insinuation).

The abuse is the invective language when not replying quick enough to satisfy her unreasonable expectations; their imaginative ways of engaging with me by sending unsolicited photographs of their pussies which necessitates a quick delete from my inbox; hurtful remarks when I suggest alternative dates because the date which she insisted on happens to clash with a critical medical appointment concerning my son (he comes first, always); random messages criticising my profile; lashing out because I asked for clarification on their question to me because I'm not very good with ambiguity...

·

Sorry Im not unsympathetic, I just dont don't see them as being on the same darkly mysogenistic level some sad men can get to when they feel like they'll never get laid again. People I trust have told me in the past what goes, and it's gross.

Men do get shit too though I know ive had it.

Pt

Your levels are different to my levels. I expect decorum and manners...even from sad women who "feel like they'll never get laid again".

"

The misogyny though (spelt properly this time). When that comes through it's just not the same.

pt

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/09/23 18:33:20]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I can't understand why people do that, other than maybe to let off steam, but it just seems so pointless and self-defeating... I mean, do they think it'll make them change their mind?"

I sometimes reply to some abusive shite... "oops sorry I'd love to meet you."

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

This thread seemed to cover everything from...

Vile and hateful misogyny over nothing - perhaps even angrily sent out before someone had a chance to make a reply! Missed a bullet maybe? It all happens.

All the way to...

Someone sends a polite and thoughtful message and gets quite a cold and unnecessary reply (ie a reply with needlessly-rude 'addons' regarding their own demands vs the other profile). So the sender returns in the same vein, maybe worse. The already 'tired' original-receiver is now fuming at the continued now-abusive contact! I mean, no is no, no?

(I think the art of saying no is lost on one or two people - it's better just not to respond if you can't do it well at that juncture imo - and I think it's best to rise above receiving it too if we can).

And, needless to say, all kinds of failed communication in between! Some which contain no-doubt contain abuse.

But the word 'abuse' seems to cover so much. For me it's a particularly strong word, always has been.

pt

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable that I probably played this down slightly myself. Women can have a huge amount of paperwork here - and they get some shocking things said to them (ie genuine abuse for no reason other than a sexual preference or decision), no way is it *remotely* equal to most of the things said by women to men I reckon. I just can't see it, despite (in life, not Fab so much) knowing that women can indeed say suddenly abusive things of course.

Men get super sensitive and are always trying to find parity in work loads. Parity in anything - it's built into them. With women it's often equitable with them at best though (ie not strictly equal) - we often live different lives.

The more I think about this, the more important that people have the horrible actual duty of reporting this. It's horrible because a lot of people will want to forget it - until it eventually gets them down and of course at the point they can't. But really - when it is really bad - we all have to report as seen. Otherwise Fab doesn't have a chance of dealing with it at all.

pt

"

I'm not seeking parity at all but regardless of what many would have you believe, whataboutery can have a significant effect on people's behaviour.

I don't send messages and haven't sent a single first contact message in well over 3 years.

Therefore every conversation since has been started or attempted by others.

Many of those introductory messages don't even say hello but just contain a list of demands for what I must do in order to meet them.

That varies from shaving my beard off to playing bi to travelling 5 hours each way on a Sunday night to attend a club that only hosts invitation only events.

Nothing nasty so far, just an enormous sense of entitlement from, I hasten to add, very well verified profiles.

The abuse starts as soon as I say I don't meet like that under any circumstances.

I've been told that not only is it my loss but that I'm too old anyway and too straight to ever be successful here.

I've also been told that they will end my fab journey because they have been here so long and have the power and contacts to do so.

I'm still here doing my own thing despite their predictions but to think for a second that men don't get abuse on here or when they do that it couldn't possibly be as bad as what women get is very naive.

I've no interest in competing with anyone or measuring my dick on an abuse scale but fab will forever be full of apologists.

"

Seeing at this was directed at me I'll just say I've never heard any single bloke make a complaint quite like this on Fab before now. Most complain of no contact at all tbh!

Those type of messages (do you really get that many?) are probably like the speculative 'letter' type that people send out to interesting-looking people on dating sites these days.

Rather than see then as entitled, I wouldn't take them too personally maybe.

They may happen quite I bit I don't know. It could even be local thing.

I can't help feeling that a lot of this thread has been more been about correspondence that has just ended badly. Sadly this just happens quite a lot on Fab I think. Do we all do enough to guard against it? I've found myself in some ding dongs myself, esp over on Flabiguys. I can usually see where I could have bailed out on reflection.

pt

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