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Leeway

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

How much leeway do we give old people?

I was in a charity shop yesterday when a very elderly woman came in and approached the counter. She obviously goes in there frequently because the women volunteers knew her. The old woman started saying something about one of the volunteers short hair, asking why she kept it so short, saying she looked like a man and just kept bloomin on to the point that it was insulting.

The short haired woman dealt with it gracefully and calmly but I was on the verge of intervening .

So should we make allowances for age in cases like this?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead.

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By *cott73Man  over a year ago

brighton

I suspect most of us laugh it off. But they're not the only demographic in the population that can get away with saying stuff others couldn't.

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By *espacito56Man  over a year ago

Orkney

Speaking as an older man, I believe we should be given loads of sex.

Tires us out quickly and that shuts us up

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead."

Yeah. I had to apologise to a nurse once for my mum mimicking her accent

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I suspect most of us laugh it off. But they're not the only demographic in the population that can get away with saying stuff others couldn't."

No they're not but I notice a lot of very elderly people feeling they have a right to be rude

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By *ellhungvweMan  over a year ago

Cheltenham


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead."

I get that but I don’t fully agree. I give young people a free ticket on their naivety and innocence - something I wouldn’t give an older adult. I give a (much) older adult a free ticket when they are talking about things that have changed over their life - something I wouldn’t do for the younger generation. It does get harder to adjust over time. Something you will, eventually, find out.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Speaking as an older man, I believe we should be given loads of sex.

Tires us out quickly and that shuts us up "

Well that's one solution

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead.

I get that but I don’t fully agree. I give young people a free ticket on their naivety and innocence - something I wouldn’t give an older adult. I give a (much) older adult a free ticket when they are talking about things that have changed over their life - something I wouldn’t do for the younger generation. It does get harder to adjust over time. Something you will, eventually, find out.

"

I agree with your points.

Rudeness such as I witnessed isn't acceptable though, is it?

Being old isn't a get out of jail free card to insult people

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Being polite and not pointing out what you perceive as someone’s flaws isn’t a new thing so there’s no excuse for that type of behaviour.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Being polite and not pointing out what you perceive as someone’s flaws isn’t a new thing so there’s no excuse for that type of behaviour."

Exactly! I'm pretty sure you didn't approach women working in shops and tell them they looked like men in 1943

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/09/23 13:15:07]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Being polite and not pointing out what you perceive as someone’s flaws isn’t a new thing so there’s no excuse for that type of behaviour.

Exactly! I'm pretty sure you didn't approach women working in shops and tell them they looked like men in 1943 "

My dad is really bad for this but gets away with it due to “cultural differences” and I think that is a cop out too. I dread going to see him if I’ve put a bit of weight on

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead.

I get that but I don’t fully agree. I give young people a free ticket on their naivety and innocence - something I wouldn’t give an older adult. I give a (much) older adult a free ticket when they are talking about things that have changed over their life - something I wouldn’t do for the younger generation. It does get harder to adjust over time. Something you will, eventually, find out.

"

I don't agree. If anything it makes it worse that you've gone your whole life without making adjustments to how you behave and treat other people. In that sense, they still believe they aren't doing nothing wrong and there's been no growth there. You can't give a pass to the younger generation when the older generation was young once too.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Being polite and not pointing out what you perceive as someone’s flaws isn’t a new thing so there’s no excuse for that type of behaviour.

Exactly! I'm pretty sure you didn't approach women working in shops and tell them they looked like men in 1943

My dad is really bad for this but gets away with it due to “cultural differences” and I think that is a cop out too. I dread going to see him if I’ve put a bit of weight on "

Oh dear .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead.

I get that but I don’t fully agree. I give young people a free ticket on their naivety and innocence - something I wouldn’t give an older adult. I give a (much) older adult a free ticket when they are talking about things that have changed over their life - something I wouldn’t do for the younger generation. It does get harder to adjust over time. Something you will, eventually, find out.

I don't agree. If anything it makes it worse that you've gone your whole life without making adjustments to how you behave and treat other people. In that sense, they still believe they aren't doing nothing wrong and there's been no growth there. You can't give a pass to the younger generation when the older generation was young once too."

All the things you’ve mentioned in your first post have been at least frowned upon for generations. If they haven’t changed in that time that’s 100% their own fault.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Being polite and not pointing out what you perceive as someone’s flaws isn’t a new thing so there’s no excuse for that type of behaviour.

Exactly! I'm pretty sure you didn't approach women working in shops and tell them they looked like men in 1943

My dad is really bad for this but gets away with it due to “cultural differences” and I think that is a cop out too. I dread going to see him if I’ve put a bit of weight on

Oh dear .

"

To make matters worse if I lose a bit of weight he tries to force feed me. I can’t win

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

^^ we do sometimes have to take cognitive decline, dementia and Alzheimer's into account

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Being polite and not pointing out what you perceive as someone’s flaws isn’t a new thing so there’s no excuse for that type of behaviour.

Exactly! I'm pretty sure you didn't approach women working in shops and tell them they looked like men in 1943

My dad is really bad for this but gets away with it due to “cultural differences” and I think that is a cop out too. I dread going to see him if I’ve put a bit of weight on

Oh dear .

To make matters worse if I lose a bit of weight he tries to force feed me. I can’t win "

you can't.

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land

That's just plain rude, and I don't think that kind of comment was acceptable ever. In general I've found these kind of people are the first to complain that youngesters have no manners.

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By *ellhungvweMan  over a year ago

Cheltenham


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead.

I get that but I don’t fully agree. I give young people a free ticket on their naivety and innocence - something I wouldn’t give an older adult. I give a (much) older adult a free ticket when they are talking about things that have changed over their life - something I wouldn’t do for the younger generation. It does get harder to adjust over time. Something you will, eventually, find out.

I agree with your points.

Rudeness such as I witnessed isn't acceptable though, is it?

Being old isn't a get out of jail free card to insult people"

If it is malicious it needs to be called out. I just don’t think that very old people actually realise how it comes over now.

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry

Old people are the worst for saying the quiet part out loud. It's my experience that many give zero fucks. A few years back I was told by two women in their 60s that I should be wearing shorts on account of the weather. I laughed but I thought that's premium grade brass neck

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Mayfair

I give leeway to people. Their age and decrepitude is irrelevant.

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

I give a fair bit, particularly with the elderly. They could have cognitive issues or be on medication that makes them a bit more gobby than they would normally be or it makes them more grumpy.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead.

I get that but I don’t fully agree. I give young people a free ticket on their naivety and innocence - something I wouldn’t give an older adult. I give a (much) older adult a free ticket when they are talking about things that have changed over their life - something I wouldn’t do for the younger generation. It does get harder to adjust over time. Something you will, eventually, find out.

I agree with your points.

Rudeness such as I witnessed isn't acceptable though, is it?

Being old isn't a get out of jail free card to insult people

If it is malicious it needs to be called out. I just don’t think that very old people actually realise how it comes over now. "

I think sometimes their filter gets removed. However I also think that some of them think that their age gives them the right to say what they think without a thought for how it's impacting the person they're saying it to.

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"How much leeway do we give old people?

I was in a charity shop yesterday when a very elderly woman came in and approached the counter. She obviously goes in there frequently because the women volunteers knew her. The old woman started saying something about one of the volunteers short hair, asking why she kept it so short, saying she looked like a man and just kept bloomin on to the point that it was insulting.

The short haired woman dealt with it gracefully and calmly but I was on the verge of intervening .

So should we make allowances for age in cases like this?

"

In short, yes.

As someone who has worked with old people (and see how they can change too), yes you do. It's good to try and treat people the same, but I think in reality we all treat people accordingly.

Well done for the staff member for being so dignified. That isn't hard when you make an effort I feel, especially with the aged.

Individuals and groups are two different things though. As a group I'd remove their free TV licences! (Then I'd remove the TV licence!)

pt

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"How much leeway do we give old people?

I was in a charity shop yesterday when a very elderly woman came in and approached the counter. She obviously goes in there frequently because the women volunteers knew her. The old woman started saying something about one of the volunteers short hair, asking why she kept it so short, saying she looked like a man and just kept bloomin on to the point that it was insulting.

The short haired woman dealt with it gracefully and calmly but I was on the verge of intervening .

So should we make allowances for age in cases like this?

In short, yes.

As someone who has worked with old people (and see how they can change too), yes you do. It's good to try and treat people the same, but I think in reality we all treat people accordingly.

Well done for the staff member for being so dignified. That isn't hard when you make an effort I feel, especially with the aged.

Individuals and groups are two different things though. As a group I'd remove their free TV licences! (Then I'd remove the TV licence!)

pt"

I'm not sure how relevant the TV licence is to the conversation.

You're saying then that old people or this old lady in particular should be given a free pass to tell a woman she looks like a man and continually bang on about her hair. I genuinely hope I'm spared that aspect of aging

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

There are plenty of elderly people who are not racist/homophobic/sexist/anything -ist. I don't think "generational differences" are excuses for poor behaviour. I bet a youth making similarly inappropriate comments would be tackled? Why don't they get the "generational difference" excuse? Part of life is adapting to life's changes.

Many very much older people have adapted really well to big changes in the world, like inside bathrooms and free-at-point-of-access healthcare. I think they can similarly adapt to not being rude and judgemental.

Some of the most inappropriate questions and comments about my disability/wheelchair use are from older people/pensioners and frankly, it drives me bananas.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead."

Basically this

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

^^ I'm not even talking about racism etc just the basic not making personal comments about other people. It's not difficult

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don’t give older people any leeway when they’re being pricks. Pricks are pricks.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Does anyone think the woman with the short hair would have got away with telling rude old lady that she was being insulting or would people have leapt to rol's defence and made excuses for her?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Does anyone think the woman with the short hair would have got away with telling rude old lady that she was being insulting or would people have leapt to rol's defence and made excuses for her? "

I think it depends. Part of the problem with the way we treat older people is that we protect them from criticism because we think they’re so fragile they might break if you tell them to shut up.

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By *ellinever70Woman  over a year ago

Ayrshire


"^^ I'm not even talking about racism etc just the basic not making personal comments about other people. It's not difficult "

Are personal comments about other people only okay if they're positive?

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Does anyone think the woman with the short hair would have got away with telling rude old lady that she was being insulting or would people have leapt to rol's defence and made excuses for her?

I think it depends. Part of the problem with the way we treat older people is that we protect them from criticism because we think they’re so fragile they might break if you tell them to shut up. "

that is true!

My dad as everyone must know is 96, is extremely robust in the sense that insults roll off him. He and I frequently argue when out and about because he's rude, inconsiderate of others and darn awkward. This isn't a new thing he's been like it all his life and I suspect there's a 'syndrome' of one type or another going on.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"^^ I'm not even talking about racism etc just the basic not making personal comments about other people. It's not difficult

Are personal comments about other people only okay if they're positive?"

No but I would say that what I witnessed was not acceptable.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man  over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Aaaaaww, come on OP, what’s the point in getting old if you don’t get the benefits that go with it, the two most essential are -: saying totally inappropriate comments with no redress and involuntary public flatulence

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Does anyone think the woman with the short hair would have got away with telling rude old lady that she was being insulting or would people have leapt to rol's defence and made excuses for her? "

The latter, mainly.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Does anyone think the woman with the short hair would have got away with telling rude old lady that she was being insulting or would people have leapt to rol's defence and made excuses for her?

I think it depends. Part of the problem with the way we treat older people is that we protect them from criticism because we think they’re so fragile they might break if you tell them to shut up.

that is true!

My dad as everyone must know is 96, is extremely robust in the sense that insults roll off him. He and I frequently argue when out and about because he's rude, inconsiderate of others and darn awkward. This isn't a new thing he's been like it all his life and I suspect there's a 'syndrome' of one type or another going on. "

I hope i can still call my mum out when she’s 96!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Does anyone think the woman with the short hair would have got away with telling rude old lady that she was being insulting or would people have leapt to rol's defence and made excuses for her?

I think it depends. Part of the problem with the way we treat older people is that we protect them from criticism because we think they’re so fragile they might break if you tell them to shut up.

that is true!

My dad as everyone must know is 96, is extremely robust in the sense that insults roll off him. He and I frequently argue when out and about because he's rude, inconsiderate of others and darn awkward. This isn't a new thing he's been like it all his life and I suspect there's a 'syndrome' of one type or another going on.

I hope i can still call my mum out when she’s 96! "

I hope you can too.

People will think you're being mean though

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Aaaaaww, come on OP, what’s the point in getting old if you don’t get the benefits that go with it, the two most essential are -: saying totally inappropriate comments with no redress and involuntary public flatulence "

I've already told my daughter to tell me if I'm getting like that

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man  over a year ago

BRIDPORT


"Aaaaaww, come on OP, what’s the point in getting old if you don’t get the benefits that go with it, the two most essential are -: saying totally inappropriate comments with no redress and involuntary public flatulence

I've already told my daughter to tell me if I'm getting like that "

When she starts carrying a can of air freshener with her , you will know

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By *layfullsamMan  over a year ago

Solihull

Not defending the older lady because I didn’t see if it was said in a nasty hurtful way or I’m wondering if short hair on a woman does look like a man to her.

I bet she’d have said long hair on a man made him look like a woman as well.

You watch the old 50’s and 60’s films and men have short hair and women have long hair so she’s realistically grown up for 70/80 years believing this is the norm.

I think the shop girl with the short hair did well to handle it the way she did.

And straight talking people stand out more now because lots of people are to frightened to say something for fear of not being pc and there’s always a slim chance the old lady was genuinely losing her marbles.

I think there’s more to this as you’re open minded so if you felt the need to step in she maybe pushed it to far !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead.

I get that but I don’t fully agree. I give young people a free ticket on their naivety and innocence - something I wouldn’t give an older adult. I give a (much) older adult a free ticket when they are talking about things that have changed over their life - something I wouldn’t do for the younger generation. It does get harder to adjust over time. Something you will, eventually, find out.

"

Naivety isn't the same as using abusive language though and simply calling it casual homophobia, racism, sexism etc. Them not knowing how to use a bit of technology, I can accept, but the other stuff, I can't.

For example, casual homophobia was rife in my school days. I'm embarrassed by the things I would've said along with my friends, but we learn and move with the times. Not stay stuck in our ways.

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By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North

I would’ve said ‘at least I’ve not got a beard granny’ and bid her a good day

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple  over a year ago

Halifax


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead."

I agree and they've probably been the same all their lives and got away with it.

Now they're older people will make allowances for them

Miss

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I would’ve said ‘at least I’ve not got a beard granny’ and bid her a good day "

why didn't I think of that at the time

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple  over a year ago

Halifax


"I suspect most of us laugh it off. But they're not the only demographic in the population that can get away with saying stuff others couldn't.

No they're not but I notice a lot of very elderly people feeling they have a right to be rude"

Yes ,there's a few when I go to town that don't think bus queues apply to them also.

It's a bit entitled .

I used to work with some older people who were really stuck up and made horrible comments about the staff ,just because

Miss

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"How much leeway do we give old people?

I was in a charity shop yesterday when a very elderly woman came in and approached the counter. She obviously goes in there frequently because the women volunteers knew her. The old woman started saying something about one of the volunteers short hair, asking why she kept it so short, saying she looked like a man and just kept bloomin on to the point that it was insulting.

The short haired woman dealt with it gracefully and calmly but I was on the verge of intervening .

So should we make allowances for age in cases like this?

In short, yes.

As someone who has worked with old people (and see how they can change too), yes you do. It's good to try and treat people the same, but I think in reality we all treat people accordingly.

Well done for the staff member for being so dignified. That isn't hard when you make an effort I feel, especially with the aged.

Individuals and groups are two different things though. As a group I'd remove their free TV licences! (Then I'd remove the TV licence!)

pt

I'm not sure how relevant the TV licence is to the conversation.

You're saying then that old people or this old lady in particular should be given a free pass to tell a woman she looks like a man and continually bang on about her hair. I genuinely hope I'm spared that aspect of aging

"

Yes I do. A friend perhaps could say "Doreen!", or maybe one of the staff if they knew her particularly well. I used to have the skills to talk that situation down once upon a time. Sometimes we British can all get a bit quiet in our embarrassment though.

And I genuinely hope you are too!

The TV licence is relevant because I think it's an example where individuals and groups are different to each other, and should be treated differently. I added the semi-jokey 'removing it' bit because I don't think the TVL is the best way of financing the area anyway.

pt

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town

Sometimes being insulted on others behalf is complicated. Like you said. The 2 people whose conversation you were listening to seemed to be happy enough. Whats to be gained by involving yourself in other peoples connections? Some might think listening to others conversations and then butting in without invitation is rude.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman  over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Oh, I don't do leeway.

If someone is an asshole I don't want to hear why they're an asshole, I want to know they're working to be better, or they can fuck off

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Sometimes being insulted on others behalf is complicated. Like you said. The 2 people whose conversation you were listening to seemed to be happy enough. Whats to be gained by involving yourself in other peoples connections? Some might think listening to others conversations and then butting in without invitation is rude. "

You're right of course.

I had no choice over whether I heard or not unless I left the shop but I didn't but in. I didn't feel insulted on the short haired woman's behalf, is that possible? I felt that old lady was being rude.

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By *untogetherCouple  over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead."

Well said!

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"Sometimes being insulted on others behalf is complicated. Like you said. The 2 people whose conversation you were listening to seemed to be happy enough. Whats to be gained by involving yourself in other peoples connections? Some might think listening to others conversations and then butting in without invitation is rude.

"

Maybe it's partly a local thing I don't know (people can be super chatty in some places), but I don't think butting in is rude personally as it's a public space. You do have to get it right though granted.

pt

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead.

Well said!

"

It's interesting that on social media (where people of course let too much of their hair down) people seem less inclined to respect the age factor when responding to them. Perhaps it's down to the SMedia aspect, perhaps down to the lack of physical presence involved I don't know. I do know that I do (and I thnk always did) feel expressly respectful when elderly people are around, even though I know full well that they could have been anything in life!!

But as a rule people mellow in old age I find, but like the OP said somewhere, things also get tangled sometimes and they lose track of what is right or what goes. We all grow old alas, very hard to do it in perfect dignity. My mum always said she was looking forward to not caring, and when the time came I decided to respect that for her. It wasn't always easy (to say the least), but most people understood it I think.

You have to be there in these situations too, to catch the nuances etc.

pt

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By *inger_SnapWoman  over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Unless they aren't of sound mind... I'm forever having to tell my elderly parents "you can't say things like that" or point out that it doesn't affect their life in any way.

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By *valanche1001Man  over a year ago

Leeds

Not so much as I used to. A decade or two ago they had probably fought for our freedom, now they’re just occupying all the decent houses and voted for brexit

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"How much leeway do we give old people?

I was in a charity shop yesterday when a very elderly woman came in and approached the counter. She obviously goes in there frequently because the women volunteers knew her. The old woman started saying something about one of the volunteers short hair, asking why she kept it so short, saying she looked like a man and just kept bloomin on to the point that it was insulting.

The short haired woman dealt with it gracefully and calmly but I was on the verge of intervening .

So should we make allowances for age in cases like this? "

Some people will say awww the old dear probably just meant well. Or she perhaps had dementia etc.

I have no patience for this shite.

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By *arkus1812Man  over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional, Sadly I am finding that more and more old people are not taking up that option.

With regard to the old woman in the charity shop I would have intervened by telling her that I thought she was out of order.

As a point of interest I am 83 and I do not get a free TV licence

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional, Sadly I am finding that more and more old people are not taking up that option.

With regard to the old woman in the charity shop I would have intervened by telling her that I thought she was out of order.

As a point of interest I am 83 and I do not get a free TV licence "

I wouldn't have said anything to rude old lady I was thinking of saying to short hair lady that I thought her hair suited her (it did) as a kind of disarming technique. She dealt with it very well but her tone and expression lead me to believe the rude old lady's comments were hurtful to her

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By *riar BelisseWoman  over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I do believe at that age, some simply just don't care. Some oldies are lovely, while some are absolute

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead.

Well said!

It's interesting that on social media (where people of course let too much of their hair down) people seem less inclined to respect the age factor when responding to them. Perhaps it's down to the SMedia aspect, perhaps down to the lack of physical presence involved I don't know. I do know that I do (and I thnk always did) feel expressly respectful when elderly people are around, even though I know full well that they could have been anything in life!!

But as a rule people mellow in old age I find, but like the OP said somewhere, things also get tangled sometimes and they lose track of what is right or what goes. We all grow old alas, very hard to do it in perfect dignity. My mum always said she was looking forward to not caring, and when the time came I decided to respect that for her. It wasn't always easy (to say the least), but most people understood it I think.

You have to be there in these situations too, to catch the nuances etc.

pt"

My experience is a lot of people do the opposite of mellow with old age! They become cantankerous, easily riled and impatient. And entitled!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I do believe at that age, some simply just don't care. Some oldies are lovely, while some are absolute "

Yep! As with people of any age. Unless someone has dementia or Alzheimer's they're the same as they were when they were younger.

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

Believe it or not, studies in the past have shown people to be at their happiest in their 80's but it goes down in the 90's.

There is nothing more beautiful than a joyous older person to me.

Physiologically we change quite a lot obviously (ie internally and externally), but it's all just life.

In my experience, rather than feel entitled, too many older people choose very often to back down and to give way. It's natural in many respects but in others it frustrates me quite a lot. A huge amount of them are entitled to quite a lot more than they want to take.

You see plenty of grandparents these days who practically look after their grandchildren too, even at an elderly age.

pt

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"Believe it or not, studies in the past have shown people to be at their happiest in their 80's but it goes down in the 90's.

There is nothing more beautiful than a joyous older person to me.

Physiologically we change quite a lot obviously (ie internally and externally), but it's all just life.

In my experience, rather than feel entitled, too many older people choose very often to back down and to give way. It's natural in many respects but in others it frustrates me quite a lot. A huge amount of them are entitled to quite a lot more than they want to take.

You see plenty of grandparents these days who practically look after their grandchildren too, even at an elderly age.

pt"

Great post. And don't also forget how they are being isolated by the headlong charge to technology.

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By *lan157Man  over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

I don't think you should overlook something being said by an older person that should not be said . You should however take account of thier age and other factors in how you deal with it.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Believe it or not, studies in the past have shown people to be at their happiest in their 80's but it goes down in the 90's.

There is nothing more beautiful than a joyous older person to me.

Physiologically we change quite a lot obviously (ie internally and externally), but it's all just life.

In my experience, rather than feel entitled, too many older people choose very often to back down and to give way. It's natural in many respects but in others it frustrates me quite a lot. A huge amount of them are entitled to quite a lot more than they want to take.

You see plenty of grandparents these days who practically look after their grandchildren too, even at an elderly age.

pt

Great post. And don't also forget how they are being isolated by the headlong charge to technology. "

Plenty of older people are enthusiastic adopters of modern tech. My Dad (84) is forgetting how to operate it now due to dementia, but his computer and online access is his main connection with the world. He uses (used) online banking and other forms of online stuff very effectively, until recently.

My Grandad, who would be coming up for 92 had he not died in 2021 was also a tech adopter - he bought himself a tablet and taught himself how to use it. This was a man who didn't own a television set until he was in his 80s, so hardly a tech expert.

Mobile phones have been fairly ubiquitously owned since the late 1990s, which is now going on for 25yrs ago. Today's 80 year olds were in their 50s, so there's been plenty of time to work them out, let's be honest. All our (elderly) neighbours have smartphones and use computers/tablets.

Curiousity and acquiring new skills don't have to stop with age. Technology has been evolving and requiring people to keep themselves up to date, ever since it was invented. Unfortunately, the Luddites got left behind and that is still the case today. Smashing up the new tech didn't make it go away.

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By *ndycoinsMan  over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead.

I get that but I don’t fully agree. I give young people a free ticket on their naivety and innocence - something I wouldn’t give an older adult. I give a (much) older adult a free ticket when they are talking about things that have changed over their life - something I wouldn’t do for the younger generation. It does get harder to adjust over time. Something you will, eventually, find out.

I don't agree. If anything it makes it worse that you've gone your whole life without making adjustments to how you behave and treat other people. In that sense, they still believe they aren't doing nothing wrong and there's been no growth there. You can't give a pass to the younger generation when the older generation was young once too."

One day you will be old.You Will find the world has changed around you.What you believe now and carry into old age will be different in the future.You will say what you believe and not accept you are saying anything "wrong"(who has the arrogance to think it's their job to decide what is and isn't wrong anyway?).You Will become one of the people you are complaining about.

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By *batMan  over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)


" …. or I’m wondering if short hair on a woman does look like a man to her.

I bet she’d have said long hair on a man made him look like a woman as well. !"

Even if you think these things, since when has it been polite to say them out aloud if you don’t know the person? Not in the old woman’s lifetime.


" You watch the old 50’s and 60’s films and men have short hair and women have long hair so she’s realistically grown up for 70/80 years believing this is the norm.. !"

In the 60s you had flower power and short bobbed Mary Quant. In the 70s Glam rock. In the 80s punk and in the nineties numerous androgynous pop stars of either gender.

That was all last century so I’m not sure how her “norm” for 70 to 80 years has been formed.


" And straight talking people stand out more now because lots of people are too frightened to say something for fear of not being PC."

Is “straight talking” a new code for bad manners? As far as I remember, it’s always been frowned upon to criticise the general appearance of people you casually meet who are working in a shop.

Being PC is usually just being polite. No need to fear it.

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Believe it or not, studies in the past have shown people to be at their happiest in their 80's but it goes down in the 90's.

There is nothing more beautiful than a joyous older person to me.

Physiologically we change quite a lot obviously (ie internally and externally), but it's all just life.

In my experience, rather than feel entitled, too many older people choose very often to back down and to give way. It's natural in many respects but in others it frustrates me quite a lot. A huge amount of them are entitled to quite a lot more than they want to take.

You see plenty of grandparents these days who practically look after their grandchildren too, even at an elderly age.

pt

Great post. And don't also forget how they are being isolated by the headlong charge to technology.

Plenty of older people are enthusiastic adopters of modern tech. My Dad (84) is forgetting how to operate it now due to dementia, but his computer and online access is his main connection with the world. He uses (used) online banking and other forms of online stuff very effectively, until recently.

My Grandad, who would be coming up for 92 had he not died in 2021 was also a tech adopter - he bought himself a tablet and taught himself how to use it. This was a man who didn't own a television set until he was in his 80s, so hardly a tech expert.

Mobile phones have been fairly ubiquitously owned since the late 1990s, which is now going on for 25yrs ago. Today's 80 year olds were in their 50s, so there's been plenty of time to work them out, let's be honest. All our (elderly) neighbours have smartphones and use computers/tablets.

Curiousity and acquiring new skills don't have to stop with age. Technology has been evolving and requiring people to keep themselves up to date, ever since it was invented. Unfortunately, the Luddites got left behind and that is still the case today. Smashing up the new tech didn't make it go away. "

Serves the oldies right if they can't use online forms/ websites to get doctors appointments or prescriptions etc. They should get a smartphone.

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead.

I get that but I don’t fully agree. I give young people a free ticket on their naivety and innocence - something I wouldn’t give an older adult. I give a (much) older adult a free ticket when they are talking about things that have changed over their life - something I wouldn’t do for the younger generation. It does get harder to adjust over time. Something you will, eventually, find out.

I don't agree. If anything it makes it worse that you've gone your whole life without making adjustments to how you behave and treat other people. In that sense, they still believe they aren't doing nothing wrong and there's been no growth there. You can't give a pass to the younger generation when the older generation was young once too.

One day you will be old.You Will find the world has changed around you.What you believe now and carry into old age will be different in the future.You will say what you believe and not accept you are saying anything "wrong"(who has the arrogance to think it's their job to decide what is and isn't wrong anyway?).You Will become one of the people you are complaining about."

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"Believe it or not, studies in the past have shown people to be at their happiest in their 80's but it goes down in the 90's.

There is nothing more beautiful than a joyous older person to me.

Physiologically we change quite a lot obviously (ie internally and externally), but it's all just life.

In my experience, rather than feel entitled, too many older people choose very often to back down and to give way. It's natural in many respects but in others it frustrates me quite a lot. A huge amount of them are entitled to quite a lot more than they want to take.

You see plenty of grandparents these days who practically look after their grandchildren too, even at an elderly age.

pt

Great post. And don't also forget how they are being isolated by the headlong charge to technology.

Plenty of older people are enthusiastic adopters of modern tech. My Dad (84) is forgetting how to operate it now due to dementia, but his computer and online access is his main connection with the world. He uses (used) online banking and other forms of online stuff very effectively, until recently.

My Grandad, who would be coming up for 92 had he not died in 2021 was also a tech adopter - he bought himself a tablet and taught himself how to use it. This was a man who didn't own a television set until he was in his 80s, so hardly a tech expert.

Mobile phones have been fairly ubiquitously owned since the late 1990s, which is now going on for 25yrs ago. Today's 80 year olds were in their 50s, so there's been plenty of time to work them out, let's be honest. All our (elderly) neighbours have smartphones and use computers/tablets.

Curiousity and acquiring new skills don't have to stop with age. Technology has been evolving and requiring people to keep themselves up to date, ever since it was invented. Unfortunately, the Luddites got left behind and that is still the case today. Smashing up the new tech didn't make it go away.

Serves the oldies right if they can't use online forms/ websites to get doctors appointments or prescriptions etc. They should get a smartphone. "

Oh yes. And if they have the temerity to be confused by the change... Or not desire it... Fuck em.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading

I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

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By *ndycoinsMan  over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"Believe it or not, studies in the past have shown people to be at their happiest in their 80's but it goes down in the 90's.

There is nothing more beautiful than a joyous older person to me.

Physiologically we change quite a lot obviously (ie internally and externally), but it's all just life.

In my experience, rather than feel entitled, too many older people choose very often to back down and to give way. It's natural in many respects but in others it frustrates me quite a lot. A huge amount of them are entitled to quite a lot more than they want to take.

You see plenty of grandparents these days who practically look after their grandchildren too, even at an elderly age.

pt

Great post. And don't also forget how they are being isolated by the headlong charge to technology.

Plenty of older people are enthusiastic adopters of modern tech. My Dad (84) is forgetting how to operate it now due to dementia, but his computer and online access is his main connection with the world. He uses (used) online banking and other forms of online stuff very effectively, until recently.

My Grandad, who would be coming up for 92 had he not died in 2021 was also a tech adopter - he bought himself a tablet and taught himself how to use it. This was a man who didn't own a television set until he was in his 80s, so hardly a tech expert.

Mobile phones have been fairly ubiquitously owned since the late 1990s, which is now going on for 25yrs ago. Today's 80 year olds were in their 50s, so there's been plenty of time to work them out, let's be honest. All our (elderly) neighbours have smartphones and use computers/tablets.

Curiousity and acquiring new skills don't have to stop with age. Technology has been evolving and requiring people to keep themselves up to date, ever since it was invented. Unfortunately, the Luddites got left behind and that is still the case today. Smashing up the new tech didn't make it go away.

Serves the oldies right if they can't use online forms/ websites to get doctors appointments or prescriptions etc. They should get a smartphone. "

Ever tried using that tech with arthritic fingers,poor eyesight, glaucoma etc?(who is that tech for the benefit of anyway?it's for the business/organisation not for people)The older generation want to talk to a human being especially when it's medical or banking,if only to get reassurance.What is the bedside manner of a smartphone/website like?If you want to use that tech that is your choice,why do you want to remove the choice not to from someone else?To say that [the consequences]serves someone right for not having/using that tech is beyond contempt.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

How on earth is requiring good manners the same as not caring if someone doesn't understand tech?

Being old isn't in my opinion, an excuse or reason to be rude (if it is when do I get my free pass?). It is a darn good reason to not understand certain aspects of tech though.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Believe it or not, studies in the past have shown people to be at their happiest in their 80's but it goes down in the 90's.

There is nothing more beautiful than a joyous older person to me.

Physiologically we change quite a lot obviously (ie internally and externally), but it's all just life.

In my experience, rather than feel entitled, too many older people choose very often to back down and to give way. It's natural in many respects but in others it frustrates me quite a lot. A huge amount of them are entitled to quite a lot more than they want to take.

You see plenty of grandparents these days who practically look after their grandchildren too, even at an elderly age.

pt

Great post. And don't also forget how they are being isolated by the headlong charge to technology.

Plenty of older people are enthusiastic adopters of modern tech. My Dad (84) is forgetting how to operate it now due to dementia, but his computer and online access is his main connection with the world. He uses (used) online banking and other forms of online stuff very effectively, until recently.

My Grandad, who would be coming up for 92 had he not died in 2021 was also a tech adopter - he bought himself a tablet and taught himself how to use it. This was a man who didn't own a television set until he was in his 80s, so hardly a tech expert.

Mobile phones have been fairly ubiquitously owned since the late 1990s, which is now going on for 25yrs ago. Today's 80 year olds were in their 50s, so there's been plenty of time to work them out, let's be honest. All our (elderly) neighbours have smartphones and use computers/tablets.

Curiousity and acquiring new skills don't have to stop with age. Technology has been evolving and requiring people to keep themselves up to date, ever since it was invented. Unfortunately, the Luddites got left behind and that is still the case today. Smashing up the new tech didn't make it go away.

Serves the oldies right if they can't use online forms/ websites to get doctors appointments or prescriptions etc. They should get a smartphone.

Ever tried using that tech with arthritic fingers,poor eyesight, glaucoma etc?(who is that tech for the benefit of anyway?it's for the business/organisation not for people)The older generation want to talk to a human being especially when it's medical or banking,if only to get reassurance.What is the bedside manner of a smartphone/website like?If you want to use that tech that is your choice,why do you want to remove the choice not to from someone else?To say that [the consequences]serves someone right for not having/using that tech is beyond contempt."

I agree there still need to be options to phone in to organisations (which still involves pressing buttons on some kind of phone - you can get basic smartphones with giant buttons, as well as landlines). On the flip side, phones are really hard for deaf/hard of hearing people, like my Dad, so he still would prefer to do things online/via email. He just can't remember how to do it now, mostly He's completely useless on the phone due to hearing problems and an inability to remember anything and inability to listen and write things down now. When he can remember, email/online is the best solution for him, and yes, he has glaucoma. I'm not sure his arthritis counts (in lower limbs).

Tech isn't going to go away, like it or not.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother. "

My aunt used to complain loudly about other people's children's names when we were out. I used to hurriedly move her away if I heard anyone call for 'Chelsea'. She would also comment on people's food in coffee shops in a negative manner. It was awkward and embarrassing

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By *ealMissShadyWoman  over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

My Mother in law was awful with her rudeness, I took her to a college award ceremony of my son's and the racism and derogatory comments made were awful. I did have to gently remind her

It upset my son but I told him 'it's OK, law of probability says she will more than likely die before you, you get the last laugh'

Awful I know but blimey on a bike, age is no excuse for it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Believe it or not, studies in the past have shown people to be at their happiest in their 80's but it goes down in the 90's.

There is nothing more beautiful than a joyous older person to me.

Physiologically we change quite a lot obviously (ie internally and externally), but it's all just life.

In my experience, rather than feel entitled, too many older people choose very often to back down and to give way. It's natural in many respects but in others it frustrates me quite a lot. A huge amount of them are entitled to quite a lot more than they want to take.

You see plenty of grandparents these days who practically look after their grandchildren too, even at an elderly age.

pt

Great post. And don't also forget how they are being isolated by the headlong charge to technology.

Plenty of older people are enthusiastic adopters of modern tech. My Dad (84) is forgetting how to operate it now due to dementia, but his computer and online access is his main connection with the world. He uses (used) online banking and other forms of online stuff very effectively, until recently.

My Grandad, who would be coming up for 92 had he not died in 2021 was also a tech adopter - he bought himself a tablet and taught himself how to use it. This was a man who didn't own a television set until he was in his 80s, so hardly a tech expert.

Mobile phones have been fairly ubiquitously owned since the late 1990s, which is now going on for 25yrs ago. Today's 80 year olds were in their 50s, so there's been plenty of time to work them out, let's be honest. All our (elderly) neighbours have smartphones and use computers/tablets.

Curiousity and acquiring new skills don't have to stop with age. Technology has been evolving and requiring people to keep themselves up to date, ever since it was invented. Unfortunately, the Luddites got left behind and that is still the case today. Smashing up the new tech didn't make it go away.

Serves the oldies right if they can't use online forms/ websites to get doctors appointments or prescriptions etc. They should get a smartphone.

Ever tried using that tech with arthritic fingers,poor eyesight, glaucoma etc?(who is that tech for the benefit of anyway?it's for the business/organisation not for people)The older generation want to talk to a human being especially when it's medical or banking,if only to get reassurance.What is the bedside manner of a smartphone/website like?If you want to use that tech that is your choice,why do you want to remove the choice not to from someone else?To say that [the consequences]serves someone right for not having/using that tech is beyond contempt."

Ask your gran to Google "sarcasm".

Also tell the companies who have everything online so some people (not just the elderly) can't access them..

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By *ndycoinsMan  over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"Believe it or not, studies in the past have shown people to be at their happiest in their 80's but it goes down in the 90's.

There is nothing more beautiful than a joyous older person to me.

Physiologically we change quite a lot obviously (ie internally and externally), but it's all just life.

In my experience, rather than feel entitled, too many older people choose very often to back down and to give way. It's natural in many respects but in others it frustrates me quite a lot. A huge amount of them are entitled to quite a lot more than they want to take.

You see plenty of grandparents these days who practically look after their grandchildren too, even at an elderly age.

pt

Great post. And don't also forget how they are being isolated by the headlong charge to technology.

Plenty of older people are enthusiastic adopters of modern tech. My Dad (84) is forgetting how to operate it now due to dementia, but his computer and online access is his main connection with the world. He uses (used) online banking and other forms of online stuff very effectively, until recently.

My Grandad, who would be coming up for 92 had he not died in 2021 was also a tech adopter - he bought himself a tablet and taught himself how to use it. This was a man who didn't own a television set until he was in his 80s, so hardly a tech expert.

Mobile phones have been fairly ubiquitously owned since the late 1990s, which is now going on for 25yrs ago. Today's 80 year olds were in their 50s, so there's been plenty of time to work them out, let's be honest. All our (elderly) neighbours have smartphones and use computers/tablets.

Curiousity and acquiring new skills don't have to stop with age. Technology has been evolving and requiring people to keep themselves up to date, ever since it was invented. Unfortunately, the Luddites got left behind and that is still the case today. Smashing up the new tech didn't make it go away.

Serves the oldies right if they can't use online forms/ websites to get doctors appointments or prescriptions etc. They should get a smartphone.

Ever tried using that tech with arthritic fingers,poor eyesight, glaucoma etc?(who is that tech for the benefit of anyway?it's for the business/organisation not for people)The older generation want to talk to a human being especially when it's medical or banking,if only to get reassurance.What is the bedside manner of a smartphone/website like?If you want to use that tech that is your choice,why do you want to remove the choice not to from someone else?To say that [the consequences]serves someone right for not having/using that tech is beyond contempt.

Ask your gran to Google "sarcasm".

Also tell the companies who have everything online so some people (not just the elderly) can't access them.."

I would but they have been dead 31 & 19 years.

My post was an addition to your sarcasm,an open reply to those who want to take choice away and talk of deserved consequences.

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother. "

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

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By *ndycoinsMan  over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus? "

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example."

Sometimes I have to do this because there's a bloody great big kerb with no dropped section and I therefore cannot get onto the kerb to unload my child, in my wheelchair. Almost all on-street disabled parking bays will have the driver in the roadside, unless they park against the traffic flow. Deansgate in Manchester is a prime example. Several on-street bays but no dropped kerb sections around these bays and a very high kerb, too high to ping my chair up. The designers assume that the disabled person will always be a passenger and that the driver will bring a wheelchair round to the passenger (kerbside) door. But that's not how life works.

Obviously I send my child onto the giant kerb immediately and I then push in the road until I find a section low enough to ping up or a dropped kerb.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example."

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

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By *ndycoinsMan  over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example."

Able bodied parents without any mobility problems or restrictions,including those parking against the flow of traffic not in a marked bay,fine and 3 points.

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By *ndycoinsMan  over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting. "

Nope.They should know better.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

Able bodied parents without any mobility problems or restrictions,including those parking against the flow of traffic not in a marked bay,fine and 3 points."

Genuinely. What has this got to do with rude old people?

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better."

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

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By *ansexualPandaMan  over a year ago

cumallover

Sometimes that rudeness comes from a place of mental decline or underlying health issues. It doesn't excuse it but it helps explain why some people used to be nice now act like arseholes. Of course, some people have always bee arseholes but it's not fair to paint a whole generation with the same brush.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Sometimes that rudeness comes from a place of mental decline or underlying health issues. It doesn't excuse it but it helps explain why some people used to be nice now act like arseholes. Of course, some people have always bee arseholes but it's not fair to paint a whole generation with the same brush. "

No it isn't but culturally we seem to accept that a whole generation will lose their rudeness filter

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By *imisugarWoman  over a year ago

Rugby


"The generation excuse is boring to me. If you're rude, racist, homophobic or down right insulting.. your not just old, you're a dickhead.

I get that but I don’t fully agree. I give young people a free ticket on their naivety and innocence - something I wouldn’t give an older adult. I give a (much) older adult a free ticket when they are talking about things that have changed over their life - something I wouldn’t do for the younger generation. It does get harder to adjust over time. Something you will, eventually, find out.

I don't agree. If anything it makes it worse that you've gone your whole life without making adjustments to how you behave and treat other people. In that sense, they still believe they aren't doing nothing wrong and there's been no growth there. You can't give a pass to the younger generation when the older generation was young once too."

Really good point.

I notice it in my family - one side makes an effort to not say anything rude publicly, other side - can be totally mannerless. Similar ages.

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By *ndycoinsMan  over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

Able bodied parents without any mobility problems or restrictions,including those parking against the flow of traffic not in a marked bay,fine and 3 points.

Genuinely. What has this got to do with rude old people?"

An older person considered rude for criticising someone not paying attention to their child on a bus

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By *ndycoinsMan  over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?"

Never said it wasn't.Criticise anyone when it's valid.

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"I suspect most of us laugh it off. But they're not the only demographic in the population that can get away with saying stuff others couldn't.

No they're not but I notice a lot of very elderly people feeling they have a right to be rude"

I am not sure it is a feeling that they feel the right to be rude, more a case of I don't give a toss anymore as they get older , basically the filter they used to use has gone

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"Speaking as an older man, I believe we should be given loads of sex.

Tires us out quickly and that shuts us up "

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"^^ I'm not even talking about racism etc just the basic not making personal comments about other people. It's not difficult

Are personal comments about other people only okay if they're positive?

No but I would say that what I witnessed was not acceptable.

"

With you saying they looked like they knew her, could it have been banterbetween them?

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

I don't think anyone can claim (as with most things on this forum frankly) that this it is really either/or. I just profoundly respect the Golden Years, always have and always will. So personally I give some auto-leeway, always.

Have I seen shit from the elderly? Yes in every sense, old age doesn't come alone. And politically-minded as I am, I used to remind myself all the time that despite their generation literally selling everything their parents fought for whilst raising the most spoilt kids in human history (us, broadly), they deserve total care, always. Old age is shit. But because we change a little (or a lot) you won't mind me signing a prenaptual, If I ever get there I'll have the courage to get through. I'm just hoping society (if we are still even here) will give at least some leeway to whatever I become.

pt

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"^^ I'm not even talking about racism etc just the basic not making personal comments about other people. It's not difficult

Are personal comments about other people only okay if they're positive?

No but I would say that what I witnessed was not acceptable.

With you saying they looked like they knew her, could it have been banterbetween them? "

No. To me it looked to me like someone being rude about someone's hair and not knowing or taking the hint of when to stop.

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By *thfloorCouple  over a year ago

Hove


"Being polite and not pointing out what you perceive as someone’s flaws isn’t a new thing so there’s no excuse for that type of behaviour.

Exactly! I'm pretty sure you didn't approach women working in shops and tell them they looked like men in 1943 "

You didn't have to because they didn't look like men. Policing gender expression was way more prevalent in the past but is still going strong today. Old lady's mistake was being overt about it. Modern sensibilities dictate it's none of her business and she's rude but she's continuing the thing she has been trained to do. Speaking from experience, no customers ever commented negatively on my barber-short hair to my face, but the regular and numerous compliments I received once I'd grown it out signified a collective sigh of relief

I do think the shop assistant and you too would have been within your rights to challenge the old lady for her views, even if with just a question, it doesn't have to be rude or confrontational, just a polite nudge to get them to think. Excusing older people from at least trying to update their views and behaviours is patronising in itself. You can tell if mental decline is at fault, usually cos of extreme repetition and inability to follow a logical argument, I think in that case only patience/endurance will do, that's tricky.

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"^^ I'm not even talking about racism etc just the basic not making personal comments about other people. It's not difficult

Are personal comments about other people only okay if they're positive?

No but I would say that what I witnessed was not acceptable.

With you saying they looked like they knew her, could it have been banterbetween them?

No. To me it looked to me like someone being rude about someone's hair and not knowing or taking the hint of when to stop. "

In which case I think it is a classic case of my MIL syndrome who is now in her late 80's. Some of the things she comes out with can be hair curling, however she has done it for the last 40 odd years so I don't think it is just an older age thing. Some people just don't have a filter whatever their age.

In fact, if you didn't live so far away from the MIL I would have asked was it her making personal comments

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"

I wouldn't have said anything to rude old lady I was thinking of saying to short hair lady that I thought her hair suited her "

This is what I would have done

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus? "

No she was fine it was just an accident. She had 4 very well behaved children with her and didn't deserve the criticism. This just happen sometimes. I've fallen over on a bus when it takes a sharp corner.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Think you find rudeness and entitlement in all areas, disabled people, people with kids, people without kids, cyclists, drivers,men, women, teenagers....all will have this element within. Address it, confront it or ignore it, thats our choice I guess.

I do think the older a person is and perhaps how isolated they are then the less awareness they may be of newer(to them) PC beliefs. Not an excuse but maybe partly explanation?

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By *uddy laneMan  over a year ago

dudley


"Think you find rudeness and entitlement in all areas, disabled people, people with kids, people without kids, cyclists, drivers,men, women, teenagers....all will have this element within. Address it, confront it or ignore it, thats our choice I guess.

I do think the older a person is and perhaps how isolated they are then the less awareness they may be of newer(to them) PC beliefs. Not an excuse but maybe partly explanation?"

I agree, I went to the chippy the other day first time in over 10 yrs guess what they did not do fish and chips in a bag, I could have a special which was a few chips and a small fish in a polystyrene tray, I had to argue with them to get a bag of chips with a fish in the same bag like it used to be, things have changed the lady said. And they say I'm nuts.

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By *ndycoinsMan  over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"Think you find rudeness and entitlement in all areas, disabled people, people with kids, people without kids, cyclists, drivers,men, women, teenagers....all will have this element within. Address it, confront it or ignore it, thats our choice I guess.

I do think the older a person is and perhaps how isolated they are then the less awareness they may be of newer(to them) PC beliefs. Not an excuse but maybe partly explanation?"

Or we could just put everyone over 70 in a Chinese style re-education camp until they are cured into having the correct opinion/attitude.

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By *illan-KillashMan  over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

I was looking forward to be an old cantankerous curmudgeon with zero filters.

Please don't say that's not gonna happen now.

I think it's an age/isolation thing.

My late father had zero filters, he lived alone, seldom watched TV, read papers or went out. No way was he ever abreast of what was currently PC. I doubt he ever intended to be offensive or cause offence, but he was genuinely naive as to how offence could be taken.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I give leeway to people. Their age and decrepitude is irrelevant."

xx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"There are plenty of elderly people who are not racist/homophobic/sexist/anything -ist. I don't think "generational differences" are excuses for poor behaviour. I bet a youth making similarly inappropriate comments would be tackled? Why don't they get the "generational difference" excuse? Part of life is adapting to life's changes.

Many very much older people have adapted really well to big changes in the world, like inside bathrooms and free-at-point-of-access healthcare. I think they can similarly adapt to not being rude and judgemental.

Some of the most inappropriate questions and comments about my disability/wheelchair use are from older people/pensioners and frankly, it drives me bananas. "

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By *ndycoinsMan  over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"I was looking forward to be an old cantankerous curmudgeon with zero filters.

Please don't say that's not gonna happen now.

I think it's an age/isolation thing.

My late father had zero filters, he lived alone, seldom watched TV, read papers or went out. No way was he ever abreast of what was currently PC. I doubt he ever intended to be offensive or cause offence, but he was genuinely naive as to how offence could be taken.

"

And that's the point,offence is taken not given.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I don’t give older people any leeway when they’re being pricks. Pricks are pricks. "

Now isn't that the truth , Pickle.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Perhaps the filter part of her brain doesn’t work anymore. It happens. Or she could just be downright rude yes.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I would’ve said ‘at least I’ve not got a beard granny’ and bid her a good day

why didn't I think of that at the time "

Because that would make you equally as rude as the person being accused of rudeness.

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I give leeway to people. Their age and decrepitude is irrelevant.

xx"

I just miss Toan lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Think you find rudeness and entitlement in all areas, disabled people, people with kids, people without kids, cyclists, drivers,men, women, teenagers....all will have this element within. Address it, confront it or ignore it, thats our choice I guess.

I do think the older a person is and perhaps how isolated they are then the less awareness they may be of newer(to them) PC beliefs. Not an excuse but maybe partly explanation?

Or we could just put everyone over 70 in a Chinese style re-education camp until they are cured into having the correct opinion/attitude."

You do as you please

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"^^ I'm not even talking about racism etc just the basic not making personal comments about other people. It's not difficult

Are personal comments about other people only okay if they're positive?

No but I would say that what I witnessed was not acceptable.

With you saying they looked like they knew her, could it have been banterbetween them?

No. To me it looked to me like someone being rude about someone's hair and not knowing or taking the hint of when to stop.

In which case I think it is a classic case of my MIL syndrome who is now in her late 80's. Some of the things she comes out with can be hair curling, however she has done it for the last 40 odd years so I don't think it is just an older age thing. Some people just don't have a filter whatever their age.

In fact, if you didn't live so far away from the MIL I would have asked was it her making personal comments "

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By *illan-KillashMan  over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants


"I was looking forward to be an old cantankerous curmudgeon with zero filters.

Please don't say that's not gonna happen now.

I think it's an age/isolation thing.

My late father had zero filters, he lived alone, seldom watched TV, read papers or went out. No way was he ever abreast of what was currently PC. I doubt he ever intended to be offensive or cause offence, but he was genuinely naive as to how offence could be taken.

And that's the point,offence is taken not given."

Australian comedian Steve Hughes does a great piece on that very theme.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I've read the WHOLE thread. Some posts more than once because they showed such utter ignorance in their arduous conviction.

I enjoyed the thread start to finish so many varied and valuable opinions and im not going to repeat what anyone has already said .......

HOWEVERRRRRRRR

Doomed from the off with an ageist opening post.

A person said something in a shop and it was assumed, presumed and any other 'sumed, that the rudeness was caused by how long the person had been on the planet.

We all do it. Can't see our own biases or prejudices.

If the woman was rude and forward, she was rude and forward.

Will anyone say she was rude and forward because she was black or rude and forward because she's trans or rude and forward because she's a woman ....?

It can't be shown that her rudeness was due to age.

It could be simply the relationship between her and the staff... or maybe she's just plain rude to everyone.

Ageism ..... is illegal- it's a protected ism ... just like other 'isms'

I'd never pride myself on rugby tackling an elderly person who is in a state of mental deterioration but I would more than likely challenge someone who seemed perfectly compos mentis ... it's easily discernable to those that don't just see 'older' people as a number.

I'm perfectly capable and more than likely will still be capable in 20 years time.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I've read the WHOLE thread. Some posts more than once because they showed such utter ignorance in their arduous conviction.

I enjoyed the thread start to finish so many varied and valuable opinions and im not going to repeat what anyone has already said .......

HOWEVERRRRRRRR

Doomed from the off with an ageist opening post.

A person said something in a shop and it was assumed, presumed and any other 'sumed, that the rudeness was caused by how long the person had been on the planet.

We all do it. Can't see our own biases or prejudices.

If the woman was rude and forward, she was rude and forward.

Will anyone say she was rude and forward because she was black or rude and forward because she's trans or rude and forward because she's a woman ....?

It can't be shown that her rudeness was due to age.

It could be simply the relationship between her and the staff... or maybe she's just plain rude to everyone.

Ageism ..... is illegal- it's a protected ism ... just like other 'isms'

I'd never pride myself on rugby tackling an elderly person who is in a state of mental deterioration but I would more than likely challenge someone who seemed perfectly compos mentis ... it's easily discernable to those that don't just see 'older' people as a number.

I'm perfectly capable and more than likely will still be capable in 20 years time.

"

It's interesting that you see my post as ageist. My intention was to find out if age should be an excuse as people so often make it so. In my opinion it's ageist to make excuses for people just because they're old.

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By *ndycoinsMan  over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"I've read the WHOLE thread. Some posts more than once because they showed such utter ignorance in their arduous conviction.

I enjoyed the thread start to finish so many varied and valuable opinions and im not going to repeat what anyone has already said .......

HOWEVERRRRRRRR

Doomed from the off with an ageist opening post.

A person said something in a shop and it was assumed, presumed and any other 'sumed, that the rudeness was caused by how long the person had been on the planet.

We all do it. Can't see our own biases or prejudices.

If the woman was rude and forward, she was rude and forward.

Will anyone say she was rude and forward because she was black or rude and forward because she's trans or rude and forward because she's a woman ....?

It can't be shown that her rudeness was due to age.

It could be simply the relationship between her and the staff... or maybe she's just plain rude to everyone.

Ageism ..... is illegal- it's a protected ism ... just like other 'isms'

I'd never pride myself on rugby tackling an elderly person who is in a state of mental deterioration but I would more than likely challenge someone who seemed perfectly compos mentis ... it's easily discernable to those that don't just see 'older' people as a number.

I'm perfectly capable and more than likely will still be capable in 20 years time.

"

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I've read the WHOLE thread. Some posts more than once because they showed such utter ignorance in their arduous conviction.

I enjoyed the thread start to finish so many varied and valuable opinions and im not going to repeat what anyone has already said .......

HOWEVERRRRRRRR

Doomed from the off with an ageist opening post.

A person said something in a shop and it was assumed, presumed and any other 'sumed, that the rudeness was caused by how long the person had been on the planet.

We all do it. Can't see our own biases or prejudices.

If the woman was rude and forward, she was rude and forward.

Will anyone say she was rude and forward because she was black or rude and forward because she's trans or rude and forward because she's a woman ....?

It can't be shown that her rudeness was due to age.

It could be simply the relationship between her and the staff... or maybe she's just plain rude to everyone.

Ageism ..... is illegal- it's a protected ism ... just like other 'isms'

I'd never pride myself on rugby tackling an elderly person who is in a state of mental deterioration but I would more than likely challenge someone who seemed perfectly compos mentis ... it's easily discernable to those that don't just see 'older' people as a number.

I'm perfectly capable and more than likely will still be capable in 20 years time.

It's interesting that you see my post as ageist. My intention was to find out if age should be an excuse as people so often make it so. In my opinion it's ageist to make excuses for people just because they're old. "

I had considered whether it was a stimulus to open a discussion but in the end I decided it's ageist as it mentions the woman's age but no one elses. I accept ( hand on heart , dib dib dib ) that you are not ageist. It is worded carefully.

In answer I say NO age is not an excuse ever. Body and brain deterioration can be a reason - and those cannot be helped as the body ages and deteriorates.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

@Nicecouple .....

Just noticed your last line and I agree wholeheartedly.

Excuses should not be made for people based on age.

Maybe we have to accept that the majority of 'olders' can no longer run fast or punch or memorise as they used to but no one should be patronised.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would’ve said ‘at least I’ve not got a beard granny’ and bid her a good day "

Love it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"How much leeway do we give old people?

I was in a charity shop yesterday when a very elderly woman came in and approached the counter. She obviously goes in there frequently because the women volunteers knew her. The old woman started saying something about one of the volunteers short hair, asking why she kept it so short, saying she looked like a man and just kept bloomin on to the point that it was insulting.

The short haired woman dealt with it gracefully and calmly but I was on the verge of intervening .

So should we make allowances for age in cases like this? "

It might be the only contact she has apart from her cat,leave her alone and worry about your own life. One day you will be old and lonely.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

^^ if I am I hope I don't attempt to alleviate my loneliness by making personal remarks about people's appearance

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

I think old people don't realise they're talking out loud sometimes.

Perhaps the brain deterioration means we forget our manners.

Maybe we have had enough of life and think "fuck it" I'm going to speak my mind.

My mum-in her deafness-often spoke her thoughts out loud.

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

I called an elderly woman a miserable old cunt last year.

She was huffing and tutting and speaking loud enough so people around her could hear, moaning about how slowly I was packing.

She had assumed it was because I was chatting to the checkout operator.

It was because I was stiff and in pain, and as I was feeling miserable myself she got told.

If she had kept her mouth shut as I walked away I wouldn't have said anything.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple  over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow


"^^ we do sometimes have to take cognitive decline, dementia and Alzheimer's into account"

I have wanted to crawl in a hole many times and apologise when my nan has said something when having a dementia moment, in her youth it was perfectly accepted to say some of the things she has said. She has adjusted over the years with some you can't say that nan prompts but when she's having a regression my lord do I want to die of shame

Tinder

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Think you find rudeness and entitlement in all areas, disabled people, people with kids, people without kids, cyclists, drivers,men, women, teenagers....all will have this element within. Address it, confront it or ignore it, thats our choice I guess.

I do think the older a person is and perhaps how isolated they are then the less awareness they may be of newer(to them) PC beliefs. Not an excuse but maybe partly explanation?

I agree, I went to the chippy the other day first time in over 10 yrs guess what they did not do fish and chips in a bag, I could have a special which was a few chips and a small fish in a polystyrene tray, I had to argue with them to get a bag of chips with a fish in the same bag like it used to be, things have changed the lady said. And they say I'm nuts. "

What makes you entitled to decide how your food is presented from a takeaway establishment?

Had it been my shop, your options would have been fish and chips in a polystyrene box; fish and chips in your hand, or no fish and chips. A bag wasn't an option for anyone else, why should it be for you?

(I happen to think it's bad for the environment to use polystyrene but paper and newspaper were phased out for health reasons and environmental health would look dimly on establishments putting fish and chips directly onto paper).

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I called an elderly woman a miserable old cunt last year.

She was huffing and tutting and speaking loud enough so people around her could hear, moaning about how slowly I was packing.

She had assumed it was because I was chatting to the checkout operator.

It was because I was stiff and in pain, and as I was feeling miserable myself she got told.

If she had kept her mouth shut as I walked away I wouldn't have said anything. "

Well I'll let you off because of your age

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By *usie pTV/TS  over a year ago

taunton

I think its down to a lot of them not having had a good shag for years turns them bitter and twisted male or female.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I think its down to a lot of them not having had a good shag for years turns them bitter and twisted male or female."

You're no spring chicken Susie...... how bitter n twisted are you ?

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By *usie pTV/TS  over a year ago

taunton

Well at least that is how it has effected me lol.

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By *usie pTV/TS  over a year ago

taunton

Lol you got in before me granny

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Lol you got in before me granny"

Oh Boom ! I mucked it up

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?"

Define old people

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I don't think anyone can claim (as with most things on this forum frankly) that this it is really either/or. I just profoundly respect the Golden Years, always have and always will. So personally I give some auto-leeway, always.

Have I seen shit from the elderly? Yes in every sense, old age doesn't come alone. And politically-minded as I am, I used to remind myself all the time that despite their generation literally selling everything their parents fought for whilst raising the most spoilt kids in human history (us, broadly), they deserve total care, always. Old age is shit. But because we change a little (or a lot) you won't *find me signing a prenaptual, If I ever get there I'll have the courage to get through. I'm just hoping society (if we are still even here) will give at least some leeway to whatever I become.

pt

"

OMG "you won't *find* me signing a prenaptual" I meant! Not 'mind'!! As in I'm not into this idea of stating years before the event that I'd want out. I've seen people completely change their mind on things like this. And people who change are still the same people! People often say "but they're not the same". But also you see, yes they are - they are the same human being and deserve and require the same love, respect, rights and support etc.

pt

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

Define old people"

People over 50.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

Define old people"

Old people are and always will be one year older than my age at the time...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No excuse for ignorance I'm afraid

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

Define old people

People over 50."

Ha! Speak for yourself

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading


"No excuse for ignorance I'm afraid "

Unless alzeheimers is.

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

Define old people

People over 50."

Can't wait for my free bus pass so I can have days out in London, lording it over the people who don't know how to parent or brush their hair.

Don't get me started on the BO gang.

I'll take sandwiches and squash with me.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

Define old people

People over 50."

Around 50 is when you start being patronised.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

Define old people

People over 50.

Ha! Speak for yourself "

I am.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

Define old people

People over 50.

Around 50 is when you start being patronised. "

I thought it's when I know what I want and how to get it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

Define old people

People over 50.

Can't wait for my free bus pass so I can have days out in London, lording it over the people who don't know how to parent or brush their hair.

Don't get me started on the BO gang.

I'll take sandwiches and squash with me."

This is me already!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

Define old people

People over 50.

Around 50 is when you start being patronised.

I thought it's when I know what I want and how to get it. "

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

Define old people

People over 50."

So nearly 30m people in the uk are old.

I wonder how this discussion would have faired had we picked a different target to discuss what if any leeway is afforded for listening in and judging their private conversations.. . ... Like... A race, or a gender or lgbtq or religion.

I think its a good discussion to have though.

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By *uddy laneMan  over a year ago

dudley

The usa is completely different to the uk, they love a risky frisky old dude.

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"The usa is completely different to the uk, they love a risky frisky old dude. "

Bill clinton esque?

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By *thfloorCouple  over a year ago

Hove


"I've read the WHOLE thread. Some posts more than once because they showed such utter ignorance in their arduous conviction.

I enjoyed the thread start to finish so many varied and valuable opinions and im not going to repeat what anyone has already said .......

HOWEVERRRRRRRR

Doomed from the off with an ageist opening post.

A person said something in a shop and it was assumed, presumed and any other 'sumed, that the rudeness was caused by how long the person had been on the planet.

We all do it. Can't see our own biases or prejudices.

If the woman was rude and forward, she was rude and forward.

Will anyone say she was rude and forward because she was black or rude and forward because she's trans or rude and forward because she's a woman ....?

It can't be shown that her rudeness was due to age.

It could be simply the relationship between her and the staff... or maybe she's just plain rude to everyone.

Ageism ..... is illegal- it's a protected ism ... just like other 'isms'

I'd never pride myself on rugby tackling an elderly person who is in a state of mental deterioration but I would more than likely challenge someone who seemed perfectly compos mentis ... it's easily discernable to those that don't just see 'older' people as a number.

I'm perfectly capable and more than likely will still be capable in 20 years time.

"

While I totally agree that we all have our biases and prejudices, I do believe that the incident described in OP does relate to older age. When I was growing up (and I'm from a backwards place so do come from the past!) strangers would heckle you in the street for doing or wearing anything even slightly out of the ordinary, and this was considered acceptable. My elders continued to criticise my appearance or attitude straight into my late 30s despite having a husband and children of my own by that point. Younger generations don't do this unless they want to be *deliberately* aggressive or rude - and the old lady didn't realise she was being either! Why? Because where she came from it was acceptable. Pre 60s ensuring conformity was paramount (with a short break between the two world wars I guess?), post 60s self-expression and individuality started gaining more and more importance, peaked at the millennium I think.

Another common example of attitudes that have changed within a lifetime - the arguments about what is sexual harassment and what isn't, because older generations learnt to deal&tolerate way more so believe something is acceptable or even flirting when younger generations believe it is a consent violation.

I wish I shared your confidence in keeping my mind open for decades and decades to come. I'm "only" 48 now and keeping current but already seeing the generational gap forming in my understanding of younger people and the world in general. I can picture a time when my opinion on certain subjects - eg. what is a stylish haircut lol - will no longer be useful or relevant (if it ever was!), while I'm already feeling my lengthening life experience entitles me to said opinion - is this is the treacherous currents of cantacerous old age or what!

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By *eavenscentitCouple  over a year ago

barnstaple

Some people in my experience are nasty young people and mature into nasty older people. Their nature and personality was always that way

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"Some people in my experience are nasty young people and mature into nasty older people. Their nature and personality was always that way"

Sensible. Agree. Nasty is nasty. In the op. Not sure anything was nasty (though accept tbat it could have been... You had to be there)

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

Define old people

People over 50.

Can't wait for my free bus pass so I can have days out in London, lording it over the people who don't know how to parent or brush their hair.

Don't get me started on the BO gang.

I'll take sandwiches and squash with me."

Don't forget your purple hat!

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

I think this story wouldn't have been much if it wasn't for the age factor really. I think it's because we expect wisdom and politeness from them, but I think we also expect them to fuck up sometimes too as they are past their peak and it's the way life can go.

In terms of the various people's responses (or lack of), I think if the old woman was younger a lot of British people could still be just as quiet and still save their moan til later! It's what we often do. Maybe even more so in some cases. But as I say what actually makes this an 'old person' (and thus particularly notable) story actually is the notable lack of filter they can get sometimes, as the OP has surmised.

I actually thought when I first read it that the woman may even have been trying to be kind (ie show her the 'right way'), odd though that seems I know.

pt

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"I was on a bus and some old dear behind me was complaining about my hair bit being brushed(!?!?).I just ignored her. Then the bus took a hard turn and a child fell off the seat. She was absolutely fine. The old lady then took the mum to task and it just erupted. I tried calming the mother down but I sympathised with her. You don't get a pass for being old if you criticise a mother.

Maybe it needed to be said and the mother will ensure little mason is safer next time they are on a bus?

Perhaps if some "parents" actually started behaving like parents,paying attention and engaging brain where their brats are concerned...Why do some people load and unload kids from cars on the traffic side of the car instead of from the pavement side for example.

But what if it's a grandparent doing it, is that ok? I've see very poor examples of grandparenting.

Nope.They should know better.

Ok, so it is ok to criticise old people?

Define old people

People over 50.

Can't wait for my free bus pass so I can have days out in London, lording it over the people who don't know how to parent or brush their hair.

Don't get me started on the BO gang.

I'll take sandwiches and squash with me.

Don't forget your purple hat!"

I'll go one better. I'll have a lavender rinse on my grey hair.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

"

I'd have thought so, there's no real reason to change a policy like that I think. I imagine it's not just Sainsbuy's either. pt

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case"

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard. "

the reason they did it was because they felt it would be bad for their image if they prosecuted old people. I don't know if they still do it but my brother worked there in the early 80s.

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

the reason they did it was because they felt it would be bad for their image if they prosecuted old people. I don't know if they still do it but my brother worked there in the early 80s.

"

I doubt that was the official line lol. 40 years ago though? Who knows, but there's been no decent reason to change it in that time imo. pt

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

the reason they did it was because they felt it would be bad for their image if they prosecuted old people. I don't know if they still do it but my brother worked there in the early 80s.

I doubt that was the official line lol. 40 years ago though? Who knows, but there's been no decent reason to change it in that time imo. pt"

do you?

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

the reason they did it was because they felt it would be bad for their image if they prosecuted old people. I don't know if they still do it but my brother worked there in the early 80s. "

40 years ago? The average lifespan in 1980 in the uk was 73.68 years. So Yes however many shoppers they had over 80s whoe were also shoplifters.... Probably not worth their time and energy to send a message to all those dodgy over 80s....

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard. "

Nah, shoplifting is rampant in the over 80s. They're well known for trading joints of ham whilst at the day centre. Everyone THINKS they're playing Whist, but actually.........

A&E sucks

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

Nah, shoplifting is rampant in the over 80s. They're well known for trading joints of ham whilst at the day centre. Everyone THINKS they're playing Whist, but actually.........

A&E sucks "

are you still there?

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

Nah, shoplifting is rampant in the over 80s. They're well known for trading joints of ham whilst at the day centre. Everyone THINKS they're playing Whist, but actually.........

A&E sucks "

Well i suppose trading joints of ham is preferable to trading joints of illegal pain relief. Streets were never as safe as when the over 80s ran the manor.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

Nah, shoplifting is rampant in the over 80s. They're well known for trading joints of ham whilst at the day centre. Everyone THINKS they're playing Whist, but actually.........

A&E sucks

are you still there? "

Yeeeeeeeees. Still not seen a doc. Done triage and x-ray only

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

Nah, shoplifting is rampant in the over 80s. They're well known for trading joints of ham whilst at the day centre. Everyone THINKS they're playing Whist, but actually.........

A&E sucks

Well i suppose trading joints of ham is preferable to trading joints of illegal pain relief. Streets were never as safe as when the over 80s ran the manor. "

Two words. Teddy Boys

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

Nah, shoplifting is rampant in the over 80s. They're well known for trading joints of ham whilst at the day centre. Everyone THINKS they're playing Whist, but actually.........

A&E sucks

are you still there?

Yeeeeeeeees. Still not seen a doc. Done triage and x-ray only "

no desire to steal your thunder but I spent many. many, long hours in a and e with my mum. The chairs are uncomfortable, the toilets disgusting and the vending machine drinks vile

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

Nah, shoplifting is rampant in the over 80s. They're well known for trading joints of ham whilst at the day centre. Everyone THINKS they're playing Whist, but actually.........

A&E sucks

are you still there?

Yeeeeeeeees. Still not seen a doc. Done triage and x-ray only

no desire to steal your thunder but I spent many. many, long hours in a and e with my mum. The chairs are uncomfortable, the toilets disgusting and the vending machine drinks vile "

One of the few bonuses of needing my custom wheelchair, is that I ALWAYS have a comfy seat

I'm one cup of shit machine coffee in, plus 2 fingers of a 4 finger KitKat. Dad has eaten a cheese panini, which was the only thing resembling a sandwich in the whole place. I brought water and a thing of juice

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By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

the reason they did it was because they felt it would be bad for their image if they prosecuted old people. I don't know if they still do it but my brother worked there in the early 80s.

I doubt that was the official line lol. 40 years ago though? Who knows, but there's been no decent reason to change it in that time imo. pt

do you?

"

I think so. Most of that time has we have not been particularly well-off as a whole imo. Just the odd windows here and there, but they are where the younger people tend to thrive and advance I think.

pt

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

Nah, shoplifting is rampant in the over 80s. They're well known for trading joints of ham whilst at the day centre. Everyone THINKS they're playing Whist, but actually.........

A&E sucks

are you still there?

Yeeeeeeeees. Still not seen a doc. Done triage and x-ray only

no desire to steal your thunder but I spent many. many, long hours in a and e with my mum. The chairs are uncomfortable, the toilets disgusting and the vending machine drinks vile

One of the few bonuses of needing my custom wheelchair, is that I ALWAYS have a comfy seat

I'm one cup of shit machine coffee in, plus 2 fingers of a 4 finger KitKat. Dad has eaten a cheese panini, which was the only thing resembling a sandwich in the whole place. I brought water and a thing of juice "

I eventually persuaded my mum to keep a bag packed for her fortnightly ambulance rides to a and e. I just made sure I had money to buy stuff in the league of friends shop of from the vending machine, not to mention the frankly outrageus parking fees

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

Nah, shoplifting is rampant in the over 80s. They're well known for trading joints of ham whilst at the day centre. Everyone THINKS they're playing Whist, but actually.........

A&E sucks

are you still there?

Yeeeeeeeees. Still not seen a doc. Done triage and x-ray only

no desire to steal your thunder but I spent many. many, long hours in a and e with my mum. The chairs are uncomfortable, the toilets disgusting and the vending machine drinks vile "

I did to with my mum, it's awful.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

Nah, shoplifting is rampant in the over 80s. They're well known for trading joints of ham whilst at the day centre. Everyone THINKS they're playing Whist, but actually.........

A&E sucks

are you still there?

Yeeeeeeeees. Still not seen a doc. Done triage and x-ray only

no desire to steal your thunder but I spent many. many, long hours in a and e with my mum. The chairs are uncomfortable, the toilets disgusting and the vending machine drinks vile

One of the few bonuses of needing my custom wheelchair, is that I ALWAYS have a comfy seat

I'm one cup of shit machine coffee in, plus 2 fingers of a 4 finger KitKat. Dad has eaten a cheese panini, which was the only thing resembling a sandwich in the whole place. I brought water and a thing of juice

I eventually persuaded my mum to keep a bag packed for her fortnightly ambulance rides to a and e. I just made sure I had money to buy stuff in the league of friends shop of from the vending machine, not to mention the frankly outrageus parking fees"

I'll have to go back into the main hospital to pay for my parking because the kiosk in the car park is on a plinth and I can't reach it in the wheelchair

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

Nah, shoplifting is rampant in the over 80s. They're well known for trading joints of ham whilst at the day centre. Everyone THINKS they're playing Whist, but actually.........

A&E sucks

are you still there?

Yeeeeeeeees. Still not seen a doc. Done triage and x-ray only

no desire to steal your thunder but I spent many. many, long hours in a and e with my mum. The chairs are uncomfortable, the toilets disgusting and the vending machine drinks vile

I did to with my mum, it's awful.

"

in the last year of her life my mum was taken to a and e at least 20 times. I used to dread the landline ringing

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

Nah, shoplifting is rampant in the over 80s. They're well known for trading joints of ham whilst at the day centre. Everyone THINKS they're playing Whist, but actually.........

A&E sucks

are you still there?

Yeeeeeeeees. Still not seen a doc. Done triage and x-ray only

no desire to steal your thunder but I spent many. many, long hours in a and e with my mum. The chairs are uncomfortable, the toilets disgusting and the vending machine drinks vile

One of the few bonuses of needing my custom wheelchair, is that I ALWAYS have a comfy seat

I'm one cup of shit machine coffee in, plus 2 fingers of a 4 finger KitKat. Dad has eaten a cheese panini, which was the only thing resembling a sandwich in the whole place. I brought water and a thing of juice

I eventually persuaded my mum to keep a bag packed for her fortnightly ambulance rides to a and e. I just made sure I had money to buy stuff in the league of friends shop of from the vending machine, not to mention the frankly outrageus parking fees

I'll have to go back into the main hospital to pay for my parking because the kiosk in the car park is on a plinth and I can't reach it in the wheelchair "

Deep joy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

  

By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"When my brother was a student he worked in Sainsbury's. They had a policy of not prosecuting anyone over 80 for shoplifting. No idea if that's still the case

If that's the case, i cant imagine it costs them a lot at all. ... How many of their customers are over 80 and still shop in the actual shop as opposed to using their technical skills to internet shop. Of that teeny percentage how many are shop lifters.? Not many i hazard.

the reason they did it was because they felt it would be bad for their image if they prosecuted old people. I don't know if they still do it but my brother worked there in the early 80s.

I doubt that was the official line lol. 40 years ago though? Who knows, but there's been no decent reason to change it in that time imo. pt

do you?

I think so. Most of that time has we have not been particularly well-off as a whole imo. Just the odd windows here and there, but they are where the younger people tend to thrive and advance I think.

pt "

To clarify, I think Sainsbury's did and likely still do this, but probably sold it/sell it being part of their family business with a heart image!

pt

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