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ENORMOUS bloody spiders

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By *ools and the brain OP Couple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Now I am not normally bothered by spiders.

However the last couple of days our house has been invaded by these dinner plate sizes monsters.

What's going on here guy's?

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By *apidaryMan over a year ago

Chipping Norton

They're horny. They come indoors in autumn to find mates. Our houses at this time of year are like swingers' clubs for large, over-aroused arachnids.

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By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Sex Sex Sex

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By *iscean_dreamMan over a year ago

Llanelli

It's that time of year where they rub their willies on your face while you sleep

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By *ools and the brain OP Couple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Spider jiz

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By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"Spider jiz"

It's not eye bogies It's ^^^^

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By *aughtyTwo8488Couple over a year ago

derby

"It's that time of year where they rub their willies on your face while you sleep "

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By *ickshawedCouple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"It's that time of year where they rub their willies on your face while you sleep "

Is this your way of telling us you self-identity as a spider?

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

I was putting washing away and one massive one legged it from underneath and made a dash for it across the bed.

It’s the most action my bed has seen for awhile.

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

1st of September and they all got the memo.

I have one in my kitchen sink that means I can't wash up (what a shame eh).

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

"I was putting washing away and one massive one legged it from underneath and made a dash for it across the bed.

It’s the most action my bed has seen for awhile."

I'd have my bags packed.

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By *iscean_dreamMan over a year ago

Llanelli

"It's that time of year where they rub their willies on your face while you sleep

Is this your way of telling us you self-identity as a spider? "

What time do you usually sleep?

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By *et and WillingCouple over a year ago

Nuneaton

Its a well know fact that 99% of people have male spiders jizz in your mouth why you are sleeping. Something like that anyway

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By *aeganaWoman over a year ago

birmingham

Tell me about it nearly had a heart attack with the size of the spider on my daughters bedroom wall last night nearly jumped the set of stairs in 1 haha. Dog saved my ass from the big ass thing x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Weather has changed and they are coming in

I've had a few daddy longlegs spiders get in

Look them up for ID purposes. Their extremely long legs make them very quick

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan over a year ago

Willenhall

Women in this thread be:

"It was huge"

"A massive one"

"Big ass thing"

The largest UK house spiders are about 75mm tip-to-tip. That's about 3 inches or thereabouts. So I need to update my profile (Humungous? Gigantic? What would be a suitable adjective)?

"Jizz on your face whilst you are sleeping"

Female spiders tend to be larger than the males...it's arachnid minge juice!

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By *ikkicdukTV/TS over a year ago

Liverpool

I thought I was over my arachnophobia until i went to Australia, never actually seen a lethal one, but yeah that fear came back so fast when i was there

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By *eliciousDiva69Woman over a year ago

Schitts Creek

"Now I am not normally bothered by spiders.

However the last couple of days our house has been invaded by these dinner plate sizes monsters.

What's going on here guy's?"

Only one thing to do - burn the house down!

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