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I’ve never had any complaints…..
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…… you never hear or read of someone has had a complaint straight after the sex thing. Why is that?  If you’ve been a shit shag and had a complaint we’d love to hear about it.
Please discuss
Love and Peace  |
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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Wife did ask a guy to leave. He made zero effort, zero foreplay and just wanted to stick his big dick in dry. She stopped it there. Being asked to leave is probably the ultimate complaint but it’s only happened once so very unusual. |
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I just provide the folloiwing caveat these days in advance of anything happening;
"I identify as Microwave Dinner. I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my picture and I am just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you're desparate." |
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"Wife did ask a guy to leave. He made zero effort, zero foreplay and just wanted to stick his big dick in dry. She stopped it there. Being asked to leave is probably the ultimate complaint but it’s only happened once so very unusual. "
Waddling out the room like a penguin is never good   |
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"I just provide the folloiwing caveat these days in advance of anything happening;
"I identify as Microwave Dinner. I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my picture and I am just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you're desparate.""
My knickers would be on the floor reading this |
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Unless it's so bad you never want any interaction with the person again who would say anything?
My only yardstick is they always come back for more. But I'm sure sometimes I'm off my game and it wasn't that great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wife did ask a guy to leave. He made zero effort, zero foreplay and just wanted to stick his big dick in dry. She stopped it there. Being asked to leave is probably the ultimate complaint but it’s only happened once so very unusual. "
Try to explain why they would not go down a waterslide when it is not wet... they may understand. |
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"Unless it's so bad you never want any interaction with the person again who would say anything?
My only yardstick is they always come back for more. But I'm sure sometimes I'm off my game and it wasn't that great. "
I’m talking bad bad, the type of sex that’s so bad that you don’t sleep at night thinking about it  |
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Getting literally kicked out of bed on to the floor one time.
I think that has to be a form of complaint.
Still not sure what I did wrong because its hard to focus with concussion and a bruised penis. 
|
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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Wife did ask a guy to leave. He made zero effort, zero foreplay and just wanted to stick his big dick in dry. She stopped it there. Being asked to leave is probably the ultimate complaint but it’s only happened once so very unusual.
Try to explain why they would not go down a waterslide when it is not wet... they may understand."
We, perhaps wrongly, assume that an experienced guy can use his wits, mouth or fingers to work out if a woman is ready for penetration but again Fab meets surprise you. Some women would just put up with a bad experience on the night but if someone is just so inept and ultimately lazy then why should you ? |
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"It wasn't a verbal complaint but a guy did fall asleep mid blow job once. "
Actually, this rings a bell.
Going waaay back to my art school days there was one time a girl fell asleep while giving me a handjob. In her defence it had been a big day, we had drünk a LOT and it was very, very late. |
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"It wasn't a verbal complaint but a guy did fall asleep mid blow job once.
Actually, this rings a bell.
Going waaay back to my art school days there was one time a girl fell asleep while giving me a handjob. In her defence it had been a big day, we had drünk a LOT and it was very, very late."
I have no defence . We were sober, the three of us seemed to be having a good time when from above I heard the sound of gentle snoring. Mr and I looked at each other, I gently extricated myself from the rapidly deflating penis and we laid there silently giggling until the gentleman awoke, seemingly refreshed. I just didn't have the heart to continue after such a rave review though and we went home never to return |
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By *rDb792Man
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"My ex once told me not to use my hands when giving him a blow job…. which was ironic as he ended up using his own hand to finish himself off "
Really?!! I love that. Don’t listen to him, that’s perfect technique |
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We met a guy in a club after months of messaging, he came after around 15 seconds of foreplay - loudly proclaimed “well that was shit” & then disappeared. He was gone, profile was gone, blocked on telegram.
We knew it meant himself (hopefully) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We met a guy in a club after months of messaging, he came after around 15 seconds of foreplay - loudly proclaimed “well that was shit” & then disappeared. He was gone, profile was gone, blocked on telegram.
We knew it meant himself (hopefully) "
Ideal meet! |
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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago
Wallasey |
When my hubby was a young pup he managed to dislocate his two middle fingers whilst fingering one of his mates aunties.
It's actually quite a funny story.
He was certainly complaining at the time and he said she was not best pleased haha, Mrs x |
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"Getting literally kicked out of bed on to the floor one time.
I think that has to be a form of complaint.
Still not sure what I did wrong because its hard to focus with concussion and a bruised penis.
"
Did you have a happy ending though?  |
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"It was one of the most boring experiences of my life, I got so frustrated that I told him mid thrust and he agreed.
We laughed it off and had cheese toasties instead
Em x"
This was your Mr wasn’t it?  |
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"We met a guy in a club after months of messaging, he came after around 15 seconds of foreplay - loudly proclaimed “well that was shit” & then disappeared. He was gone, profile was gone, blocked on telegram.
We knew it meant himself (hopefully) "
The best one yet |
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"When my hubby was a young pup he managed to dislocate his two middle fingers whilst fingering one of his mates aunties.
It's actually quite a funny story.
He was certainly complaining at the time and he said she was not best pleased haha, Mrs x"
How long did it take to remove his hand from her bonus hole?  |
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I've had a few, last too long, cocks a bit fat and I'm sore, I'm dissapointed you don't live closer, it hurts when I sit since we had sex.
There's more but I'll stop there or I'll never get a meet ever again |
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"I've had a few, last too long, cocks a bit fat and I'm sore, I'm dissapointed you don't live closer, it hurts when I sit since we had sex.
There's more but I'll stop there or I'll never get a meet ever again "
More, more |
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By *.T.Man
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"I just provide the folloiwing caveat these days in advance of anything happening;
"I identify as Microwave Dinner. I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my picture and I am just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you're desparate.""
In that case I'm a Rustler Burger. The last thing you'd choose, go ding after 90 seconds and leave you filled with regret afterwards. |
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"I've had a girl fall asleep during oral. I guess that's as good as any complaint
^^ take note girls
I blame the drink
How many pints in?
Enough for her to take me home with her  "
I was talking about you not her |
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"I've had a girl fall asleep during oral. I guess that's as good as any complaint
^^ take note girls
I blame the drink
How many pints in?
Enough for her to take me home with her
I was talking about you not her "
Not enough to forget it |
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"I've had a girl fall asleep during oral. I guess that's as good as any complaint
^^ take note girls
I blame the drink
How many pints in?
Enough for her to take me home with her
I was talking about you not her
Not enough to forget it "
There’s a hint of a complaint in there |
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"It was one of the most boring experiences of my life, I got so frustrated that I told him mid thrust and he agreed.
We laughed it off and had cheese toasties instead
Em x
This was your Mr wasn’t it? "
It actually wasn't you know
It was before I met him |
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"It was one of the most boring experiences of my life, I got so frustrated that I told him mid thrust and he agreed.
We laughed it off and had cheese toasties instead
Em x
This was your Mr wasn’t it?
It actually wasn't you know
It was before I met him "
I’m a shit shag as well you know if you’re offering cheese toasties |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had the odd d*unken two pumps & a squirt and admit I was shit but certainly made up for the disappointment the morning after 
That’s what you think "
Well she didn't complain again & came back for lots more |
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"I've had the odd d*unken two pumps & a squirt and admit I was shit but certainly made up for the disappointment the morning after
That’s what you think
Well she didn't complain again & came back for lots more "
So you’ve had no complaints then? |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
I once was such a crap lay for a guy that the arsehole loomed over me shouting at me while I sat in my bra and stockings in the middle of the bed. It was sudden, unexpected, and very unpleasant.
I left. Quickly.
 |
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I don’t stick around long enough for a review
But seriously - for me it takes 2 people. We feed off each other, respond to each other. If I’ve been shit, so have they & vice versa.
But no-one has ever actually complained. Yet. |
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"I once was such a crap lay for a guy that the arsehole loomed over me shouting at me while I sat in my bra and stockings in the middle of the bed. It was sudden, unexpected, and very unpleasant.
I left. Quickly.
"
Was it not roll play? |
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"I don’t stick around long enough for a review
But seriously - for me it takes 2 people. We feed off each other, respond to each other. If I’ve been shit, so have they & vice versa.
But no-one has ever actually complained. Yet."
Me neither, the only complaint I can see me getting is ‘the twat wiped his knob on my curtains when he left’ |
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"I'm wheely, wheely shite. 1/10 would not recommend.
Has that been your feedback?
Yup. Best avoided, really. Mr KC just does me out of a sense of obligation and because he feels sorry for me "
I suppose someone has to |
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"I'm wheely, wheely shite. 1/10 would not recommend.
Has that been your feedback?
Yup. Best avoided, really. Mr KC just does me out of a sense of obligation and because he feels sorry for me
I suppose someone has to "
Not really. I could become a nun |
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"I'm wheely, wheely shite. 1/10 would not recommend.
Has that been your feedback?
Yup. Best avoided, really. Mr KC just does me out of a sense of obligation and because he feels sorry for me
I suppose someone has to
Not really. I could become a nun "
Yes Sister KC |
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"I'm wheely, wheely shite. 1/10 would not recommend.
Has that been your feedback?
Yup. Best avoided, really. Mr KC just does me out of a sense of obligation and because he feels sorry for me
I suppose someone has to
Not really. I could become a nun
Yes Sister KC "
Careful calling me that, I might get a stiffy |
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"I'm wheely, wheely shite. 1/10 would not recommend.
Has that been your feedback?
Yup. Best avoided, really. Mr KC just does me out of a sense of obligation and because he feels sorry for me
I suppose someone has to
Not really. I could become a nun
Yes Sister KC
Careful calling me that, I might get a stiffy "
Do you have some love rosery bead eggs? |
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"I'm wheely, wheely shite. 1/10 would not recommend.
Has that been your feedback?
Yup. Best avoided, really. Mr KC just does me out of a sense of obligation and because he feels sorry for me
I suppose someone has to
Not really. I could become a nun
Yes Sister KC
Careful calling me that, I might get a stiffy
Do you have some love rosery bead eggs? "
Yes and I say my hail Marys religiously ever night |
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