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You aren't for us if you...

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By *winging Sally Sean OP   Couple  over a year ago

Warks / Northants Border

Whilst creating a new profile bio, I was mulling over how to explain the sort of people we are looking for. There was nothing I came up with, which was light-hearted enough. However, I think I came close with the below.

Forgetting the usual bland and boring elimination sentences we all read on profiles, does anyone else have a humorous 'You are not for me/us if you..." sentence?

Our is... You are not for us if you watch EastEnders and think "This is so realistic", this is just how my friends and family behave"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You are not for me if you take relationship advice from Love Island.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was going to reference love island, but I was too slow!

You’re not for me if you’re likely to discuss the latest escapades of Meghan and Harry or any other such irrelevance.

*or vote Tory

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By *ris GrayMan  over a year ago

Dorchester


"Whilst creating a new profile bio, I was mulling over how to explain the sort of people we are looking for. There was nothing I came up with, which was light-hearted enough. However, I think I came close with the below.

Forgetting the usual bland and boring elimination sentences we all read on profiles, does anyone else have a humorous 'You are not for me/us if you..." sentence?

Our is... You are not for us if you watch EastEnders and think "This is so realistic", this is just how my friends and family behave" "

very good actually and eastenders isn't a reflection of London or Londoners

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By *hrista BellendWoman  over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

You are not for me if your dick leaks cheese

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By *tanley FunseekerMan  over a year ago

stanley

You aren’t for me if your favourite dildo is fire extinguisher sized

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By *leasureseekers123Couple  over a year ago

Heathrow

You’re not for us if on your profile photos your house looks like you’re about to star in “hoarders” or “life of grime”

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By *annybrowneyesMan  over a year ago

Paddock Wood

You aren't for me if you leave bread crumbs in the butter

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You are not for me if you’re for the sake and the rest is not the best.

*I let my middle button decide.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

You are not for us if I can see your insides on your pics.

Mrs

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By *winging Sally Sean OP   Couple  over a year ago

Warks / Northants Border

Some of these are brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You are not for me if you take relationship advice from Love Island."

But Maya Jama man. She could tell me to do anything and I’d do it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You’re not for me if you liked Arya Killing the night king.

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By *rumswingersCouple  over a year ago

Birmingham

You aren’t for us if you spell gorgeous “gawjus”.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You aren't for us if you don't have a south facing garden and don't enjoy fish finger sandwiches

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By *tanley FunseekerMan  over a year ago

stanley


"You aren't for us if you don't have a south facing garden and don't enjoy fish finger sandwiches "

With tomato ketchup or tartar sauce?

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"Whilst creating a new profile bio, I was mulling over how to explain the sort of people we are looking for. There was nothing I came up with, which was light-hearted enough. However, I think I came close with the below.

Forgetting the usual bland and boring elimination sentences we all read on profiles, does anyone else have a humorous 'You are not for me/us if you..." sentence?

Our is... You are not for us if you watch EastEnders and think "This is so realistic", this is just how my friends and family behave" "

But all people from East London behave like that

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

You ain't fa me if ya don't eat pie mash n liquor for breakfast, smovvad in salt n vigenar

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By *valanche1001Man  over a year ago

Leeds

You are not for me if perusing your gallery feels like flicking through Gynaecologist’s Weekly

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By *amantha_JadeWoman  over a year ago

Newcastle

You aren’t for me if you wear white socks with black shoes….

Or you think the idea of a nice meal out is at a Toby carvery.

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By *ris GrayMan  over a year ago

Dorchester

You're not for me if you have a long whiny profile and a foot fetish

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You aren't for us if you don't have a south facing garden and don't enjoy fish finger sandwiches

With tomato ketchup or tartar sauce?"

Jeez we are not that fussy

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish

You are not for us if the windows of your sitting room face full west.

B

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading


"Whilst creating a new profile bio, I was mulling over how to explain the sort of people we are looking for. There was nothing I came up with, which was light-hearted enough. However, I think I came close with the below.

Forgetting the usual bland and boring elimination sentences we all read on profiles, does anyone else have a humorous 'You are not for me/us if you..." sentence?

Our is... You are not for us if you watch EastEnders and think "This is so realistic", this is just how my friends and family behave" "

What about if you watch Downton Abbey?

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"You’re not for us if on your profile photos your house looks like you’re about to star in “hoarders” or “life of grime”"

Omg... I saw the grimiest bathroom ever the other day

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Covent Garden

You are all for me.

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By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth

You aren't for me if you keep your socks on

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By *untogetherCouple  over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.

You aren't for us... if your toenails look like you could swoop up a fish from a lake.

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By *ittleRed18Woman  over a year ago

Aberdeen


"You are not for me if perusing your gallery feels like flicking through Gynaecologist’s Weekly "

Agreed!

Or if your pics gallery has more flag poles than a UN building

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By *winging Sally Sean OP   Couple  over a year ago

Warks / Northants Border

There's some interesting profiles commenting on this thread. It has certainly made me a chuckle reading them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You’re not for me if you don’t treat retail/hospitality staff like actual human beings.

Been on too many dates where the person was rude to the waiter or bar staff.. no second date

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By *inkedKuntsCouple  over a year ago

Sheffield

You aren't for us if you like tighty whiteys

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think I covered things pretty well in my profile

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By *hagTonightMan  over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

You are not for me if you dont like haribos

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By *lueDressWoman  over a year ago

Bath

You're not for Me if you don't like horror movies.

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By *opinovMan  over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

You're not for me if you keep calling me 'hun'... I'm not German, okay!

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Your not for me if you won't lick my athletes foot....

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By *he Silver FuxMan  over a year ago

Uttoxeter

You’re not for me if this is your first rodeo

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By *cnugatugMan  over a year ago

Chatham

You are not for me if you use the term bae

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