FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Toilet etiquette in the workplace
Toilet etiquette in the workplace
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
OK so i know this is a sex site but i have just gotten back from the bogs a short while ago. Does anyone else feel apprehensive about using the dunnies at work? I'm not talking about going for a wee but i mean a full on dump.
I never normally use them for anything other that a wee but earlier on i was sat at my desk and the pains came over me. 'Bugger' i though i'm gonna have to go and use the works crappers.
I walked in ,did a quick scout around luckily no one was in there so i quickly went into one of the traps and pulled down my kecks to let one go. All of a sudden the door to the toilets open and someone walks in. The bloke (bearing in mind there are 5 other empty traps) takes the one RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO ME!!(i mean...why???). He then proceeds to plonk himself on the bog and let go one of the wettest sounding pan splattering shits i've ever heard in my life followed by a couple of squeaky wet farts and a satisfied groan.
The smell was VILE and fucking acrid and due to all this i got stage fright and was unable to crap myself, despite needing one.
I know i should have gone shit for shit with this monster but his pre-emptive cack caught me so off guard and had me chicken legging all over the ring of combat. There was no way i was going to be able to dump so i pulled up my trousers and went to wash my hands.
As i was washing them the door opens and out steps this filthy, fat bearded ricky tomlinson lookalike and he walked straight out without washing his hands!!!!!...how mank???
I started to gag and someone else walked in and had a look that said 'who the fuck has died in here??'. The fact that i smelt his poo and probably a few stray particles still makes me gag as i sit here now. Oh and i still needed a shit when i walked out but that twat has ruined it for me and i now have to try and hold it til i get home. Or i might try another set of shutters but the whole experience has made me apprehensive but it be got a turtles head.
Anyone else had any bad experiences using the works crappers? I thought it was an unwritten rule never to use the trap next to one that was taken if others are free? I hope i don't see the guy again tomorrow otherwise i will gag again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Also the cleaners need to get better in this place. Fucking winds me up a few weeks ago when I last shat at work I was so desperate I didn’t check if there was loo roll so I did the business and there was no loo roll in there to wipe after! So I had to fucking sit there and wait for it to go hard! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Also the cleaners need to get better in this place. Fucking winds me up a few weeks ago when I last shat at work I was so desperate I didn’t check if there was loo roll so I did the business and there was no loo roll in there to wipe after! So I had to fucking sit there and wait for it to go hard! "
Scat's life. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Wetting myself! 
Etiquette also dictates that he should have waited for you to wash your hands and leave before exiting his cubicle so you never need to look eachother in the eye. Heathen. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I never normally use them but only when the real pains come over me. I’ve got a colleague who SWEARS by shitting at work
He worked out how much the company pays him to shit. He clearly didn't have enough to do. It was based on his salary, time taken actually going for a shit, allowing time for the post crap sigh and ‘afterthought’ and everything. Totted the total time up on average per year, then based on his salary and working hours came up with a figure he called 'crap salary'. Basically how much money our company pays him each year to take a shyte. And he wonders why his role is being fucking offshored!!
The cleaners and staff are weird here too. I remember once walking into the bogs and this little guy , he was like a little limpet all hunched over and shit saying ‘look at all the fucking crap down there dirty cunts!’, so I looked into the trap he was talking about and it was totally clean. He also took a j cloth, wipes around the inside of a pube ridden urinal (no gloves) squeezed the j cloth out and then wiped round the other side.
Need a new job I think |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My old job there was several loos I could use and one I would use for an emergency number 2 if had to go but my new job, the toilet is within the reception, back office areas and I wouldn't feel comfortable going as A noise and B I know that someone would press the buzzer for attention as soon as I started. Not unless I absolutely had too.
Danish x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Coulda been worse fella.
There could have been only one trap, and you’d have had to follow the thunder dumper after he’d finished raining the turdy apocalypse. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"OK so i know this is a sex site but i have just gotten back from the bogs a short while ago. Does anyone else feel apprehensive about using the dunnies at work? I'm not talking about going for a wee but i mean a full on dump.
I never normally use them for anything other that a wee but earlier on i was sat at my desk and the pains came over me. 'Bugger' i though i'm gonna have to go and use the works crappers.
I walked in ,did a quick scout around luckily no one was in there so i quickly went into one of the traps and pulled down my kecks to let one go. All of a sudden the door to the toilets open and someone walks in. The bloke (bearing in mind there are 5 other empty traps) takes the one RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO ME!!(i mean...why???). He then proceeds to plonk himself on the bog and let go one of the wettest sounding pan splattering shits i've ever heard in my life followed by a couple of squeaky wet farts and a satisfied groan.
The smell was VILE and fucking acrid and due to all this i got stage fright and was unable to crap myself, despite needing one.
I know i should have gone shit for shit with this monster but his pre-emptive cack caught me so off guard and had me chicken legging all over the ring of combat. There was no way i was going to be able to dump so i pulled up my trousers and went to wash my hands.
As i was washing them the door opens and out steps this filthy, fat bearded ricky tomlinson lookalike and he walked straight out without washing his hands!!!!!...how mank???
I started to gag and someone else walked in and had a look that said 'who the fuck has died in here??'. The fact that i smelt his poo and probably a few stray particles still makes me gag as i sit here now. Oh and i still needed a shit when i walked out but that twat has ruined it for me and i now have to try and hold it til i get home. Or i might try another set of shutters but the whole experience has made me apprehensive but it be got a turtles head.
Anyone else had any bad experiences using the works crappers? I thought it was an unwritten rule never to use the trap next to one that was taken if others are free? I hope i don't see the guy again tomorrow otherwise i will gag again"
Is this AI shite |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’d give it 10mins before replying to this
Least spray some frebreeze
You mean FABreeze surely  "
Rex yep your right, the smell of desperation and self pity, covers up any shit. it's the blokes toilets after all... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well this was a good read. Reminds me of Viz mag.
I am the only female in work with 40+ men and I have one cubical to myself  I’ve put some scented reed things and nice hand wash, cream in there. I had a cupboard installed for my tampons and wet wipes.
I always get paid to poo though, never in my break! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I assume you are aware that at least 6 of those men use your cubicle because you have made it so appealing.
At my office I always opt for the dingiest looking toilet with the flickering light as I assume that will have the least footfall.
#PaidToPoo |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Also the cleaners need to get better in this place. Fucking winds me up a few weeks ago when I last shat at work I was so desperate I didn’t check if there was loo roll so I did the business and there was no loo roll in there to wipe after! So I had to fucking sit there and wait for it to go hard! "
Have you never jumped to another stool pun in tended to find paper to wipe. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Also the cleaners need to get better in this place. Fucking winds me up a few weeks ago when I last shat at work I was so desperate I didn’t check if there was loo roll so I did the business and there was no loo roll in there to wipe after! So I had to fucking sit there and wait for it to go hard!
Have you never jumped to another stool pun in tended to find paper to wipe."
I actually did this recently but we have sprayers so not that bad just not thing to dry but then I remembered what Taylor says ….
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear OP, if you feel rather impassioned about this why not just wear TENA™ pants? That way you avoid the workplace latrines."
But he would become the mobile latrine, foisting his aromas around the place  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
