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Converting a new partner to fab
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I’m sure some of you must have been in a similar position and just looking to see if anyone has some good advice or past experiences they can share.
Recently met someone of pof and we are getting on well. It isn’t what I would describe as a serious relationship but we have been meeting up regularly enough.
The sex is really good and she seems up for most things. I’m going to open up the conversation of filming, maybe inviting a third person and various things.
Also concerned she might run a mile so just wondering if anyone has been in similar position and what good/bad came from it.
Thanks in advance |
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"Just have a conversation about fantasies who knows where it will lead. That’s how me and the mrs ended up here, seems we had quite a few in common.
The mr "
That is what I’ve attempted to do but it hasn’t quite developed as I hoped ?? I’m either not direct enough or maybe this isn’t going to play out as I hoped. |
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"
Also concerned she might run a mile ...
What's more important to you...enjoying what you have now or risking that for more?"
Yes, totally get your point and I don’t mind admitting I’m in a little bit of a dilemma hence the question to the fab nation. I don’t want to lose her at this early stage but I also don’t want to end up living a lie. |
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By *heelerMan
over a year ago
Northants |
"I’m sure some of you must have been in a similar position and just looking to see if anyone has some good advice or past experiences they can share.
Recently met someone of pof and we are getting on well. It isn’t what I would describe as a serious relationship but we have been meeting up regularly enough.
The sex is really good and she seems up for most things. I’m going to open up the conversation of filming, maybe inviting a third person and various things.
Also concerned she might run a mile so just wondering if anyone has been in similar position and what good/bad came from it.
Thanks in advance "
Id let her suggest something shes quite happy in her comfort zone if you mention something outside her boundaries she may get nervous and forget you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Also concerned she might run a mile ...
What's more important to you...enjoying what you have now or risking that for more?"
'A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush' - guess he wants two bushes (or maybe neatly trimmed lawns, or scarified!)  |
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"Just have a conversation about fantasies who knows where it will lead. That’s how me and the mrs ended up here, seems we had quite a few in common.
The mr
That is what I’ve attempted to do but it hasn’t quite developed as I hoped ?? I’m either not direct enough or maybe this isn’t going to play out as I hoped. "
Living a lie how? |
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Maybe my brain hadn’t fully kicked in yet this morning so apologies. What I mean is I really like being an active member on fab, I enjoying chatting and meeting, and I’m not sure I would really want to turn my back on it completely. |
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"Maybe my brain hadn’t fully kicked in yet this morning so apologies. What I mean is I really like being an active member on fab, I enjoying chatting and meeting, and I’m not sure I would really want to turn my back on it completely. "
Well you probably should be upfront with her about that |
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Hence the request for advice. I don’t quite understand the hostility in your responses. I am completely planning on explaining but I am asking for previous experiences to help me determine the best way to approach. If I haven’t had that clear then that’s my mistake but the question is about converting a new partner to fab - not trying to keep it from her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to be open about these things early on so she can make the decision if it's something she can accept. Waiting until you get fully serious will blindside her and will most likely end up in a worse reaction. |
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"Hence the request for advice. I don’t quite understand the hostility in your responses. I am completely planning on explaining but I am asking for previous experiences to help me determine the best way to approach. If I haven’t had that clear then that’s my mistake but the question is about converting a new partner to fab - not trying to keep it from her "
I'm not being hostile |
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I had this with my fb from there, he introduced me to here as we had already discussed about kinks I had. Ultimately though it broke us, as I got a ton of attention and he got seriously jealous, so we split. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m sure some of you must have been in a similar position and just looking to see if anyone has some good advice or past experiences they can share.
Recently met someone of pof and we are getting on well. It isn’t what I would describe as a serious relationship but we have been meeting up regularly enough.
The sex is really good and she seems up for most things. I’m going to open up the conversation of filming, maybe inviting a third person and various things.
Also concerned she might run a mile so just wondering if anyone has been in similar position and what good/bad came from it.
Thanks in advance "
Google 'mojo upgrade'.
Don't think about 'converting' her. Perhaps that wasn't what you meant.
If she wants to try new things then great. If she doesn't... respect that. |
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"I’m sure some of you must have been in a similar position and just looking to see if anyone has some good advice or past experiences they can share.
Recently met someone of pof and we are getting on well. It isn’t what I would describe as a serious relationship but we have been meeting up regularly enough.
The sex is really good and she seems up for most things. I’m going to open up the conversation of filming, maybe inviting a third person and various things.
Also concerned she might run a mile so just wondering if anyone has been in similar position and what good/bad came from it.
Thanks in advance "
Put your trainers on that day so when shes running you can keep up  |
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Oh dear. “Converting”? Really? Perhaps a bad use of words but gives to your question really negative context so be prepared for comments you might not like.
How long are you in relationship?
Have you had an exclusivity talk already?
Looks like for you it’s a casual thing but your partner might be interested in more, I might be wrong of course.
What do you want by “converting”? Couples account? Meeting her and also meeting other people? Have your cake and eat it, they say.
Have the conversation as soon as you can, wait for the right moment and do it.
Be prepared for both scenarios though and if she agrees, make sure she’s not doing this because she got feelings for you already.
I’m not being mean, I’m speaking from experience. Good luck. |
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"Hence the request for advice. I don’t quite understand the hostility in your responses. I am completely planning on explaining but I am asking for previous experiences to help me determine the best way to approach. If I haven’t had that clear then that’s my mistake but the question is about converting a new partner to fab - not trying to keep it from her "
I would be honest. I find myself in a similar kinda situation to be fair.
I met someone via here but now its a little more than it was meant to be and I've taken the option of not playing elsewhere while we work out what it is we want or have.
However I am open and honest and he knows all about my fab life..
Good luck OP. X |
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In life we all have non-negotiables. Some people crave monogamy their need for that one person outweighs anything else. Even when these people are single and having fun it's all geared towards 'finding the one'.
Finding a swinger to settle down with isn't easy. We were lucky, we spoke about sex, our fantasies, our own non-negotiables and luckily we were compatible. However, without that conversation both of us would have sought excitement elsewhere and the relationship would have been doomed.
The chances that you've found the one are slim. You've got to kiss a lot of frogs. But the only way you'll know is with deeper understanding of each other on every level and that starts with a difficult, but much needed conversation about the god dam sexual tyrannosauruses we all are!
Good luck dude! |
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If I was dating someone and then a few months down the line they told me they were on FAB with an active account then I’d be gutted.
Sounds like you already had a discussion about it and she gave you answers that you didn’t like the sound of…so that also means you’ll be keeping FAB a secret from her still.
Being open and honest is the swinging way - not trying to convince someone or not be truthful about your intentions.
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hence the request for advice. I don’t quite understand the hostility in your responses. I am completely planning on explaining but I am asking for previous experiences to help me determine the best way to approach. If I haven’t had that clear then that’s my mistake but the question is about converting a new partner to fab - not trying to keep it from her I would be honest. I find myself in a similar kinda situation to be fair.
I met someone via here but now its a little more than it was meant to be and I've taken the option of not playing elsewhere while we work out what it is we want or have.
However I am open and honest and he knows all about my fab life..
Good luck OP. X"
Oooooo congrats Cali!   |
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Hi op,
I'd say have the chat with her sooner rather than later ,but be prepared it might not be her thing,so if it's a no you have a choice to make.
It's always best to be honest though, especially if you want to stay in the lifestyle.
If you put it off ,get really into each other and she says no,then you'll be in a worse position and you may hurt her .
Good luck
Miss |
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Thanks to everyone who took the time to rely and give some advice. I think the use of the word convert was maybe a little clumsy on my part. We aren’t exclusive yet, as hasn’t quite got to that stage, but what I wanted to broach was possibly playing at times as a couple or still remaining as a single (me but also her is she wanted to join the site). Going to sleep on it and have the conversation before the weekend I think. I do enjoy fan, I enjoy the messaging as well as the meeting, I travel often with work and it is also nice to meet people when I’m on the road. I just don’t think I really want to come off the site if it is a complete no from her. But I suppose I won’t quite know that until there is a decision to be made. Thanks again everyone really do appreciate you all x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you both comfortable enough to watch porn together?
If so maybe one featuring a threesome or moresome and see if that leads to any interesting conversations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Converting? Coercing? Demanding? Forcing?
Damn.
Honesty is a difficult thing to achieve in any relationship. It helps if you are from the start. Let people make their decisions for themselves and be true to yourself. |
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"Just have a conversation about fantasies who knows where it will lead. That’s how me and the mrs ended up here, seems we had quite a few in common.
The mr "
This is bang on. Now my ex, but did talk about exactly this and I told her all mine as did she. If we hadn’t of been open honest, we’d never of had the fun times we did and I’d of never ever have thought her big kink was to get watched having sex outdoors by anyone and have men and women getting off to it well us as it was then. Be open and honest. Always best way. Can’t go wrong with that |
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