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What stands out from your childhood
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That you thought was normal but when you older you realised it wasn’t?
So my mum was an alcoholic (she drank herself to death literally 8 years ago) so she was always pissed. My dad used to beat her about - there was not a wall she hadn’t rebounded off of.
To me,growing up it was normal to see her dishevelled & bruised,dad throwing things & shouting There was never any clean clothes & I was often in grubby clothes.
I’m fastidious about cleanliness. House is pretty much spotless. Washing machine is on a lot & all bedding gets washed without fail on a Monday. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That you thought was normal but when you older you realised it wasn’t?
So my mum was an alcoholic (she drank herself to death literally 8 years ago) so she was always pissed. My dad used to beat her about - there was not a wall she hadn’t rebounded off of.
To me,growing up it was normal to see her dishevelled & bruised,dad throwing things & shouting There was never any clean clothes & I was often in grubby clothes.
I’m fastidious about cleanliness. House is pretty much spotless. Washing machine is on a lot & all bedding gets washed without fail on a Monday. "
I know what you mean as my Mother and Father used to row every night and we would hear furniture being knocked about and used to wonder if we would find one of them dead in the morning, it was almost a relief when my Mother finally walked out and left us behind me being 10 and sister 12 . |
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"That you thought was normal but when you older you realised it wasn’t?
So my mum was an alcoholic (she drank herself to death literally 8 years ago) so she was always pissed. My dad used to beat her about - there was not a wall she hadn’t rebounded off of.
To me,growing up it was normal to see her dishevelled & bruised,dad throwing things & shouting There was never any clean clothes & I was often in grubby clothes.
I’m fastidious about cleanliness. House is pretty much spotless. Washing machine is on a lot & all bedding gets washed without fail on a Monday. I know what you mean as my Mother and Father used to row every night and we would hear furniture being knocked about and used to wonder if we would find one of them dead in the morning, it was almost a relief when my Mother finally walked out and left us behind me being 10 and sister 12 ."
Isn’t it sad that’s what we remember. Even if we went into town they would argue,parents evening etc. I wasn’t even embarrassed as I knew no different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That you thought was normal but when you older you realised it wasn’t?
So my mum was an alcoholic (she drank herself to death literally 8 years ago) so she was always pissed. My dad used to beat her about - there was not a wall she hadn’t rebounded off of.
To me,growing up it was normal to see her dishevelled & bruised,dad throwing things & shouting There was never any clean clothes & I was often in grubby clothes.
I’m fastidious about cleanliness. House is pretty much spotless. Washing machine is on a lot & all bedding gets washed without fail on a Monday. I know what you mean as my Mother and Father used to row every night and we would hear furniture being knocked about and used to wonder if we would find one of them dead in the morning, it was almost a relief when my Mother finally walked out and left us behind me being 10 and sister 12 .
Isn’t it sad that’s what we remember. Even if we went into town they would argue,parents evening etc. I wasn’t even embarrassed as I knew no different. "
It is sad but you just get used to it , the worse thing is it has made me very tough and introverted throughout my life  |
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Having to walk through the most heavily fortified checkpoint in Europe twice a day going to and from school.
Having to cross fields and a railway line to get home from town when the road was closed following a bomb or shooting.
Having to show photographic ID at least half a dozen times a day. |
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"That you thought was normal but when you older you realised it wasn’t?
So my mum was an alcoholic (she drank herself to death literally 8 years ago) so she was always pissed. My dad used to beat her about - there was not a wall she hadn’t rebounded off of.
To me,growing up it was normal to see her dishevelled & bruised,dad throwing things & shouting There was never any clean clothes & I was often in grubby clothes.
I’m fastidious about cleanliness. House is pretty much spotless. Washing machine is on a lot & all bedding gets washed without fail on a Monday. I know what you mean as my Mother and Father used to row every night and we would hear furniture being knocked about and used to wonder if we would find one of them dead in the morning, it was almost a relief when my Mother finally walked out and left us behind me being 10 and sister 12 .
Isn’t it sad that’s what we remember. Even if we went into town they would argue,parents evening etc. I wasn’t even embarrassed as I knew no different. It is sad but you just get used to it , the worse thing is it has made me very tough and introverted throughout my life "
Devoid of emotion. Numb. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That you thought was normal but when you older you realised it wasn’t?
So my mum was an alcoholic (she drank herself to death literally 8 years ago) so she was always pissed. My dad used to beat her about - there was not a wall she hadn’t rebounded off of.
To me,growing up it was normal to see her dishevelled & bruised,dad throwing things & shouting There was never any clean clothes & I was often in grubby clothes.
I’m fastidious about cleanliness. House is pretty much spotless. Washing machine is on a lot & all bedding gets washed without fail on a Monday. I know what you mean as my Mother and Father used to row every night and we would hear furniture being knocked about and used to wonder if we would find one of them dead in the morning, it was almost a relief when my Mother finally walked out and left us behind me being 10 and sister 12 .
Isn’t it sad that’s what we remember. Even if we went into town they would argue,parents evening etc. I wasn’t even embarrassed as I knew no different. It is sad but you just get used to it , the worse thing is it has made me very tough and introverted throughout my life
Devoid of emotion. Numb. "
Yes that's it and it doesn't ever go away just becomes a defence mechanism so you don't get hurt again. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Everything right from the age of nursery only certain things few years from now explained the unexplainable to me I believe I was a smart child that acknowledged but no clear answer until and when I read about it wow shocked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The public toilet in our local park
Darent say half the things that went on in there and happened to me ..
There were an odd good one but strange how times have changed .
Hey ho xx |
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"That you thought was normal but when you older you realised it wasn’t?
So my mum was an alcoholic (she drank herself to death literally 8 years ago) so she was always pissed. My dad used to beat her about - there was not a wall she hadn’t rebounded off of.
To me,growing up it was normal to see her dishevelled & bruised,dad throwing things & shouting There was never any clean clothes & I was often in grubby clothes.
I’m fastidious about cleanliness. House is pretty much spotless. Washing machine is on a lot & all bedding gets washed without fail on a Monday. "
As a child, I was beaten for absolutely no reason.
Some people do not deserve to have children.
It fucks your brains up.
Mr. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear this OP 
Secondly, tucking your t shirt into your jeans when wearing a jumper. Whenever my mum would dress me, she would do this and tell me to untuck it when taking my jumper off. It's kinda carried over in adulthood now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My sister and I's early years were grim and if it hadnt been for my late dad having fought for us and got custody (rare in 70s), hell knows where my sisters and I would have ended up.
I've always made sure my kids felt their home was a safe haven.
|
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I had fantastic parents who did their level best for us despite not having the disposable income that others had. I was the last kiddie in our village to have a two wheeler bike, and that was second hand, with all the piss takers who had better having their two peneth worth. Now I just lurve going back there displaying conspicuous consumption on the highest level and rubbing it in the noses of those who will never be in my league. |
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Changing primary school 3 times
Mother and father marrying and divorcing at will (7 marriages, 6 divorces between them)
Being dragged along with whoever my mother was shacking up with next
Moving house a lot
Houses being repossessed
Going to the football with my Dad
My grandparents providing us with sanity, consistency and normality. |
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"I had fantastic parents who did their level best for us despite not having the disposable income that others had. I was the last kiddie in our village to have a two wheeler bike, and that was second hand, with all the piss takers who had better having their two peneth worth. Now I just lurve going back there displaying conspicuous consumption on the highest level and rubbing it in the noses of those who will never be in my league. "
Sounds like the best way to right historic wrongs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Dad being completely absent and never being there when he said he would be. I pretty much thought that was just what Dads were like. Absent in some way or another.
Also mum not being able to afford to fix the boiler so having showers with a bucket for a year
I used to think colourism was pretty normal. That one hurts. But I’ve grown. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
My upbringing?
My mum was always working as she was a single parent to me between the ages of 3 to 9, she usually had two jobs, sometimes 3 to keep a roof over our head. It mean’t I spent a lot of time with my Nan and Grampy.
I remember in Primary School we had a Star Wars themed Christmas Concert and I was a stormtrooper and I told my Gramp I needed a prop sword.
He made me one out of wood in his shed that was reminiscent of a Knight’s sword. It was bloody massive. I loved it! 
Anyway, the night of the Christmas Concert came along and we get to the primary School and everybody is in costume. Princess Leia has nailed the hair buns, Darth Vader looks scary. And then there is me and my fellow storm troopers. They have loo roll light sabres and I have my epic wooden sword.
We had that sword for many, many years. It lived behind my gramp’s chair and he used it as a backscratcher, much to the annoyance of my Nan.
My upbringing wasn’t conventional - most of my friends had their two parents at home and just saw their grandparents once a week, but for the most part it was happy. I had the best grandparents and my mum instilled in me a strong work ethic! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being brought up surrounded by women, Mum, Gran, several aunties, their friends, and one older cousin.
My grandad being the only man.
I'm still more comfortable around women and more maternal than paternal in my ways. |
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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago
Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton, |
Almost endless summers,thinking:- everyone knew how to tickle Trout or other methods to catch fish,could shoot,poach,live off the land.Extremely lucky/blessed childhood compared to some. |
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Tough question, I like that you've broached the subject though. Even if it is Monday morning.
I think the atmosphere of treading on eggshells. The sickening sensation that only a looming fear of violence can bring.
Dancing with my mum to Motown in the kitchen, when he wasn't there. Like a momentary burst of freedom amongst the mire of misery. Seeing the frantic fragility in her eyes, as it deteriorated into tears: she let out her anguish and returned back to 'normal' in preparation for him coming home. My confusion, slowly evolving into resentment as I got older and her pleading with me not to do anything that might upset him.
Walking along the power station cooling water pipes at 2am wasted, because it's the only place the police wouldn't bother us and make us go home.
Then sit on the roundabout taking it in turns to keep it spinning, whilst we sky shacked. Talked about how it would all be different, when we got older. Huddled under a shared coat, the flicker of a lighter illuminating our faces. Sorted... 'Safe'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn’t have a “traditional” Mum and Dad doing 9 to 5, dinner around the table upbringing. Circumstances dictated that we were basically left to our own devices. Not ignored but given a lot of autonomy even at a very young age. My most abiding memory of it is that my brothers and myself never stopped laughing. We were always happy. Possibly because there has never been even a hint of sibling rivalry. I know now we were lucky. We’re all late 50s to mid 60s now, We don’t see a lot of each other but when we do we slip straight back into it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That you thought was normal but when you older you realised it wasn’t?
So my mum was an alcoholic (she drank herself to death literally 8 years ago) so she was always pissed. My dad used to beat her about - there was not a wall she hadn’t rebounded off of.
To me,growing up it was normal to see her dishevelled & bruised,dad throwing things & shouting There was never any clean clothes & I was often in grubby clothes.
I’m fastidious about cleanliness. House is pretty much spotless. Washing machine is on a lot & all bedding gets washed without fail on a Monday. "
Apart from the alcoholic bit .
The rest rings a bell he used to batter her black and blue often in front of us kids all 7 of us.
We never had any new clothes because he used to take every penny off her for drink and gambling.
Not one of us turned up to his funeral.
The absolute bastard. |
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"That you thought was normal but when you older you realised it wasn’t?
So my mum was an alcoholic (she drank herself to death literally 8 years ago) so she was always pissed. My dad used to beat her about - there was not a wall she hadn’t rebounded off of.
To me,growing up it was normal to see her dishevelled & bruised,dad throwing things & shouting There was never any clean clothes & I was often in grubby clothes.
I’m fastidious about cleanliness. House is pretty much spotless. Washing machine is on a lot & all bedding gets washed without fail on a Monday.
Apart from the alcoholic bit .
The rest rings a bell he used to batter her black and blue often in front of us kids all 7 of us.
We never had any new clothes because he used to take every penny off her for drink and gambling.
Not one of us turned up to his funeral.
The absolute bastard."
I made a point of not letting them meet any of my 5 boys. I cut off all contact with both my parents when I turned 20yo. My mum found out that I was getting married & arrived d*unk (they weren’t invited) & she was locked in the verger’s office. I never went to her funeral & I don’t regret it. |
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"That you thought was normal but when you older you realised it wasn’t?
So my mum was an alcoholic (she drank herself to death literally 8 years ago) so she was always pissed. My dad used to beat her about - there was not a wall she hadn’t rebounded off of.
To me,growing up it was normal to see her dishevelled & bruised,dad throwing things & shouting There was never any clean clothes & I was often in grubby clothes.
I’m fastidious about cleanliness. House is pretty much spotless. Washing machine is on a lot & all bedding gets washed without fail on a Monday. "
I’m very much similar to yourself; my father was an alcoholic, and pickling his liver killed him too. It’s sad for me to look back on photos of him in his youth, when he had his whole life in front of him, to remember him as never really sober, bloated belly, and breaking down in tears when he saw me, because my mother left him due to his drinking.
How I wish I could have helped him  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tough question, I like that you've broached the subject though. Even if it is Monday morning.
I think the atmosphere of treading on eggshells. The sickening sensation that only a looming fear of violence can bring.
Dancing with my mum to Motown in the kitchen, when he wasn't there. Like a momentary burst of freedom amongst the mire of misery. Seeing the frantic fragility in her eyes, as it deteriorated into tears: she let out her anguish and returned back to 'normal' in preparation for him coming home. My confusion, slowly evolving into resentment as I got older and her pleading with me not to do anything that might upset him.
Walking along the power station cooling water pipes at 2am wasted, because it's the only place the police wouldn't bother us and make us go home.
Then sit on the roundabout taking it in turns to keep it spinning, whilst we sky shacked. Talked about how it would all be different, when we got older. Huddled under a shared coat, the flicker of a lighter illuminating our faces. Sorted... 'Safe'. "
Wow. Well described and haunting somewhat. |
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