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How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
"Well wishes and all strength to you x | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
"There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience."Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
"Queen, I don’t know what to say except it must be terribly hard for you considering what you’re dealing with yourself with your disability. I hope you can get some help for him. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help  | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem."Get social workers input and they will help If you don't have the money to pay then the government will help you x | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem."If his GP says he needs full time care, the local health authority will contribute the bulk. If he has assets over (I think) @£16k, then he will have to pay part of it from them. Depending on his mental capacity you need legal power of attorney over both medical and financial matters so you can help administer all that stuff. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem.
Get social workers input and they will help
If you don't have the money to pay then the government will help you x
"Already done and they offered zero help whatsoever and asked if I (me) could afford to pay for help. He's in a weird position of being 84 with the house mortgaged. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem.
If his GP says he needs full time care, the local health authority will contribute the bulk. If he has assets over (I think) @£16k, then he will have to pay part of it from them.
Depending on his mental capacity you need legal power of attorney over both medical and financial matters so you can help administer all that stuff."I have PoA x2. | |||
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"It all depends on your council Adult Social Care should help you. I don’t know what services are like in your area. I know ours really well. It’s my job after all. I’d be happy to have a look if you wish?" The Wirral is where it is.... Thank you. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem.
Get social workers input and they will help
If you don't have the money to pay then the government will help you x
Already done and they offered zero help whatsoever and asked if I (me) could afford to pay for help. He's in a weird position of being 84 with the house mortgaged. "I don't understand, as with all three cases I have dealt with it has been a GP decision as to care needed, to get the ball rolling. Then Adult Social Care assessed them and decided they needed a placement. After that the local health authority are obliged to place him. This is the important thing. Financial matters and who pays how much depends on his circumstances. If the mortgage is solely in his name and he lives alone, I believe they can request higher contributions which effectively means he'd have to sell to meet his share. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem.
Get social workers input and they will help
If you don't have the money to pay then the government will help you x
Already done and they offered zero help whatsoever and asked if I (me) could afford to pay for help. He's in a weird position of being 84 with the house mortgaged.
I don't understand, as with all three cases I have dealt with it has been a GP decision as to care needed, to get the ball rolling. Then Adult Social Care assessed them and decided they needed a placement. After that the local health authority are obliged to place him. This is the important thing.
Financial matters and who pays how much depends on his circumstances. If the mortgage is solely in his name and he lives alone, I believe they can request higher contributions which effectively means he'd have to sell to meet his share."His GP is singularly unhelpful. Dad says he wants to stay independent at home and they say "okay" and that's it. No matter that his primary carer is a disabled wheelchair user (they know this) who lives an hour away. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem.
Get social workers input and they will help
If you don't have the money to pay then the government will help you x
Already done and they offered zero help whatsoever and asked if I (me) could afford to pay for help. He's in a weird position of being 84 with the house mortgaged.
I don't understand, as with all three cases I have dealt with it has been a GP decision as to care needed, to get the ball rolling. Then Adult Social Care assessed them and decided they needed a placement. After that the local health authority are obliged to place him. This is the important thing.
Financial matters and who pays how much depends on his circumstances. If the mortgage is solely in his name and he lives alone, I believe they can request higher contributions which effectively means he'd have to sell to meet his share."A lot of the time, when I worked in care homes, a large percentage of residents coming in to us, have been via the hospital after falls etc, for some reason people start to listen to you when they are in hospital and can't go home because they can't look after themselves anymore, it shouldn't come to that really, they physically have to be hurt to get "noticed". Have you made an appointment with his GP to speak to them about whats going on and you can't cope with his care? X | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem.
Get social workers input and they will help
If you don't have the money to pay then the government will help you x
Already done and they offered zero help whatsoever and asked if I (me) could afford to pay for help. He's in a weird position of being 84 with the house mortgaged.
I don't understand, as with all three cases I have dealt with it has been a GP decision as to care needed, to get the ball rolling. Then Adult Social Care assessed them and decided they needed a placement. After that the local health authority are obliged to place him. This is the important thing.
Financial matters and who pays how much depends on his circumstances. If the mortgage is solely in his name and he lives alone, I believe they can request higher contributions which effectively means he'd have to sell to meet his share.
His GP is singularly unhelpful. Dad says he wants to stay independent at home and they say "okay" and that's it. No matter that his primary carer is a disabled wheelchair user (they know this) who lives an hour away."Do you have power of attorney? | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem.
Get social workers input and they will help
If you don't have the money to pay then the government will help you x
Already done and they offered zero help whatsoever and asked if I (me) could afford to pay for help. He's in a weird position of being 84 with the house mortgaged.
I don't understand, as with all three cases I have dealt with it has been a GP decision as to care needed, to get the ball rolling. Then Adult Social Care assessed them and decided they needed a placement. After that the local health authority are obliged to place him. This is the important thing.
Financial matters and who pays how much depends on his circumstances. If the mortgage is solely in his name and he lives alone, I believe they can request higher contributions which effectively means he'd have to sell to meet his share.
His GP is singularly unhelpful. Dad says he wants to stay independent at home and they say "okay" and that's it. No matter that his primary carer is a disabled wheelchair user (they know this) who lives an hour away.
Do you have power of attorney?"Yes, for both. The GP knows that, as do social services. | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem.
Get social workers input and they will help
If you don't have the money to pay then the government will help you x
Already done and they offered zero help whatsoever and asked if I (me) could afford to pay for help. He's in a weird position of being 84 with the house mortgaged.
I don't understand, as with all three cases I have dealt with it has been a GP decision as to care needed, to get the ball rolling. Then Adult Social Care assessed them and decided they needed a placement. After that the local health authority are obliged to place him. This is the important thing.
Financial matters and who pays how much depends on his circumstances. If the mortgage is solely in his name and he lives alone, I believe they can request higher contributions which effectively means he'd have to sell to meet his share."He has next to no equity in the house so he wouldn't be able to make significant contributions. There might be £20-30k equity if the housing market was blowing in the right direction. That's not going to last long in the world of care. | |||
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"It all depends on your council Adult Social Care should help you. I don’t know what services are like in your area. I know ours really well. It’s my job after all. I’d be happy to have a look if you wish? The Wirral is where it is.... Thank you." I will take a look. I’m not in the office until Wednesday though x | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem.
Get social workers input and they will help
If you don't have the money to pay then the government will help you x
Already done and they offered zero help whatsoever and asked if I (me) could afford to pay for help. He's in a weird position of being 84 with the house mortgaged.
I don't understand, as with all three cases I have dealt with it has been a GP decision as to care needed, to get the ball rolling. Then Adult Social Care assessed them and decided they needed a placement. After that the local health authority are obliged to place him. This is the important thing.
Financial matters and who pays how much depends on his circumstances. If the mortgage is solely in his name and he lives alone, I believe they can request higher contributions which effectively means he'd have to sell to meet his share.
He has next to no equity in the house so he wouldn't be able to make significant contributions. There might be £20-30k equity if the housing market was blowing in the right direction. That's not going to last long in the world of care. "No you are right but speaking from experience here, I have had people come in that could only afford (for example 3 months care using money from house sale), they have then been reassesed and being able to continue their care in the home, depending on type of care home, they might have had to change rooms to a smaller room or might have to have moved to a completely different one (I have seen this happen) but once they have a care home place, they continue to have one, even if that is fully funded, once the money runs out you don't get put on to the street. | |||
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It sounds like you've tried so much. Sending you the biggest hugs.
Jxx | |||
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"It all depends on your council Adult Social Care should help you. I don’t know what services are like in your area. I know ours really well. It’s my job after all. I’d be happy to have a look if you wish? The Wirral is where it is.... Thank you. I will take a look. I’m not in the office until Wednesday though x" Thank you | |||
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"I've also just discovered his GP gave him omeprazole for dysphagia (difficulty swallowing), 24/08/24 on the pharmacy label. It says to take one a day, 28 tablets. Only 17 are left. Do the maths. I have asked time and time again to be informed when he is prescribed anything new, but they have not told me about this. I have asked for all medication to be in the daily blister packs because he can cope with them. They've just given him a box of 28. I don't think he's taken enough for any danger but why haven't I been informed, as his Attorney? " I assume they have a copy of you being POA? | |||
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"I've also just discovered his GP gave him omeprazole for dysphagia (difficulty swallowing), 24/08/24 on the pharmacy label. It says to take one a day, 28 tablets. Only 17 are left. Do the maths. I have asked time and time again to be informed when he is prescribed anything new, but they have not told me about this. I have asked for all medication to be in the daily blister packs because he can cope with them. They've just given him a box of 28. I don't think he's taken enough for any danger but why haven't I been informed, as his Attorney? I assume they have a copy of you being POA? " Yes. And my Dad's consent given in writing to share from before his formal diagnosis (which was horribly delayed by the COVID pandemic closing the memory clinic for 2yrs). | |||
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"As hard as it is be there for them no matter what trust me you thank me later I am so glad that I spent as much time with mines as I could even though in the end he couldn’t remember my name I don’t look at that time as a negative I look at it as he was there for me as a child and growing up it was only fair that I was there in his time off need Hugs and sending best wishes " Natalie, I want to help him. But I am disabled myself and so this is not possible. I am trying to do my best but when I can't even use the bathroom at his house, can you see why it might be hard to achieve? | |||
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"I admire how brave you are going through this. The only thing I can add is that it’s important to care for the carer - you - because you’re going through a lot too and it shouldn’t be ignored. Sorting out stuff for your dad is unfortunately on your shoulders, but please lean on others to help you too. If you need to chat, unload, rant… just shout." Mr KC is my carer because I'm disabled and so he's doing far too much for both of us. Plus we have a 6yo to care for. It's too much. | |||
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"As hard as it is be there for them no matter what trust me you thank me later I am so glad that I spent as much time with mines as I could even though in the end he couldn’t remember my name I don’t look at that time as a negative I look at it as he was there for me as a child and growing up it was only fair that I was there in his time off need Hugs and sending best wishes Natalie, I want to help him. But I am disabled myself and so this is not possible. I am trying to do my best but when I can't even use the bathroom at his house, can you see why it might be hard to achieve?" I understand that that I wasn’t saying anything negative or anything I was saying I know how frustrating it can be obviously not the disabled part but the illness it’s self I know the tolls it can take on people have you looked at getting a carer in to help out my mum had them come in the morning and at night to help dress wash shower and put to bed and stuff as she was to old to do it her self and felt burned asking other to Also I know it’s not nice to say or think off but sometimes the best option care home placement I know my mum had my dad down for one as it got way to much in the end sadly pass away before he got a placement And one agen hugs as I know just how hard it is to deal with I watch my 70 now in her 80s mom go through it with my dad so honestly from the bottom off my hart hugs | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem.
Get social workers input and they will help
If you don't have the money to pay then the government will help you x
Already done and they offered zero help whatsoever and asked if I (me) could afford to pay for help. He's in a weird position of being 84 with the house mortgaged.
I don't understand, as with all three cases I have dealt with it has been a GP decision as to care needed, to get the ball rolling. Then Adult Social Care assessed them and decided they needed a placement. After that the local health authority are obliged to place him. This is the important thing.
Financial matters and who pays how much depends on his circumstances. If the mortgage is solely in his name and he lives alone, I believe they can request higher contributions which effectively means he'd have to sell to meet his share.
He has next to no equity in the house so he wouldn't be able to make significant contributions. There might be £20-30k equity if the housing market was blowing in the right direction. That's not going to last long in the world of care.
No you are right but speaking from experience here, I have had people come in that could only afford (for example 3 months care using money from house sale), they have then been reassesed and being able to continue their care in the home, depending on type of care home, they might have had to change rooms to a smaller room or might have to have moved to a completely different one (I have seen this happen) but once they have a care home place, they continue to have one, even if that is fully funded, once the money runs out you don't get put on to the street." | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
"Have you heard of Dementia nurses or contacted Dementia UK? I am an Ambassador for Dementia UK. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
"If you didn't go to help, who would his neighbours/ your dad call? | |||
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"I admire how brave you are going through this. The only thing I can add is that it’s important to care for the carer - you - because you’re going through a lot too and it shouldn’t be ignored. Sorting out stuff for your dad is unfortunately on your shoulders, but please lean on others to help you too. If you need to chat, unload, rant… just shout. Mr KC is my carer because I'm disabled and so he's doing far too much for both of us. Plus we have a 6yo to care for. It's too much." Looks like Misty and Danish have got professional experience with this, hopefully they can give you some idea who to speak to. Once you know that, make as much of a fuss as possible. It’s really easy for people to say it’s not their job or department and fob you off because it’s the easiest thing for them. If you make enough noise, it will be easier for them to help you than ignore you. Unfortunately that seems to be the way now with services cut so much. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
If you didn't go to help, who would his neighbours/ your dad call?
"My Dad wouldn't call anyone. The neighbour would probably go to the people in the restaurant who knew him and they would ring me. Or they'd ring 999 if they thought it was important. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
If you didn't go to help, who would his neighbours/ your dad call?
My Dad wouldn't call anyone. The neighbour would probably go to the people in the restaurant who knew him and they would ring me. Or they'd ring 999 if they thought it was important. "Could you ask them to call 999 next time? The only way to make something happen could be to completely withdraw your help.  | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
If you didn't go to help, who would his neighbours/ your dad call?
My Dad wouldn't call anyone. The neighbour would probably go to the people in the restaurant who knew him and they would ring me. Or they'd ring 999 if they thought it was important.
Could you ask them to call 999 next time?
The only way to make something happen could be to completely withdraw your help.
"Agreed. It's very hard to do but sometimes it has to be done | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
If you didn't go to help, who would his neighbours/ your dad call?
My Dad wouldn't call anyone. The neighbour would probably go to the people in the restaurant who knew him and they would ring me. Or they'd ring 999 if they thought it was important.
Could you ask them to call 999 next time?
The only way to make something happen could be to completely withdraw your help.
"He was sent in an ambulance to hospital just over a year ago, by strangers. He fell in the street and broke his neck. A&E tried to send him straight home once they'd put a collar on because he said he wanted to go home. It took me to confiscate his house keys and "run away" with them for them to keep him. They eventually agreed he didn't have capacity and I asked for a care placement. Long story short, he was kept in hospital for 8wks, sent home with a 1 month care package which social services cancelled after 2wks. Social services disbelieved me about my personal situation and spoke to me (it was only ever by phone) like I was lying about me being disabled. This is my experience thus far. Since last year, we have muddled along with me and Mr KC doing our best around my disability, my hospitalisation, moving house, 6yo child etc. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
If you didn't go to help, who would his neighbours/ your dad call?
My Dad wouldn't call anyone. The neighbour would probably go to the people in the restaurant who knew him and they would ring me. Or they'd ring 999 if they thought it was important.
Could you ask them to call 999 next time?
The only way to make something happen could be to completely withdraw your help.
He was sent in an ambulance to hospital just over a year ago, by strangers. He fell in the street and broke his neck. A&E tried to send him straight home once they'd put a collar on because he said he wanted to go home. It took me to confiscate his house keys and "run away" with them for them to keep him. They eventually agreed he didn't have capacity and I asked for a care placement.
Long story short, he was kept in hospital for 8wks, sent home with a 1 month care package which social services cancelled after 2wks.
Social services disbelieved me about my personal situation and spoke to me (it was only ever by phone) like I was lying about me being disabled.
This is my experience thus far. Since last year, we have muddled along with me and Mr KC doing our best around my disability, my hospitalisation, moving house, 6yo child etc. "Social services are overwhelmed understaffed. Unfortunately it's people who know how to play the system who take up the availability. Three years ago my 80year old mother who lived on her own 650 miles away had a heart attack. Despite our complaints that she can't go home they sent her home after a couple of days.( I went up to stay) She was home one day then got rushed back to hospital and died 5 day's later. During the first episode SS said that all she requires is one of those frames for the toilet and she's fine to live alone. So don't let them fob you off . | |||
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"It all depends on your council Adult Social Care should help you. I don’t know what services are like in your area. I know ours really well. It’s my job after all. I’d be happy to have a look if you wish? The Wirral is where it is.... Thank you." I completely sympathise with your situation. I visit my friend's elderly father who is in a care home on the wirral. The costs are shocking and I am not very impressed by the levels and quality of the care he receives. I've taken to making some resources to help him that I'm shocked aren't just standard in the home.  | |||
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I weep for what this country has become and I burn with rage at those who have done this to us. I saw myself how the care situation has been deliberately destroyed, when my father needed it there was nothing. He got lots of "referrals" and "assessments" all of who agreed that he met all the conditions and should have some help, but there was just nothing available. In his part of the country the waiting list was thousands of people for care visitors, tens of thousands of people for care home places. All that the services could say was that if he had tons of money he could have something instantly, but with no funds left apart from his standard old-age pension, there was nothing they could do.
This is the reality that tens of thousands of people up and down the country are facing, maybe hundreds of thousands. There is just no work force here any more to do the jobs. The pay for care work is dreadful, the work itself is incredibly difficult both physically and emotionally, the main source of people willing to do the work for so little return was the EU. And they have been deliberately driven out of this country merely for the gain of politicians and billionaires.
I hate that I am hijacking your thread and making a political rant. This thread is about your father, and about you; but it is also unavoidably about the tens & hundreds of thousands of people everywhere across this supposedly rich country that similarly need help and are getting nothing. And it is about those who have done this, who were already rich beyond the scope for most of us to understand, but had to have more and more and more. I burn and I weep, and I know that there is no help to be had. I can send my love and my concern, but hearts and prayers do nothing.
I burn. I rage. I weep. Polly xxx | |||
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"Mrs KC
I weep for what this country has become and I burn with rage at those who have done this to us. I saw myself how the care situation has been deliberately destroyed, when my father needed it there was nothing. He got lots of "referrals" and "assessments" all of who agreed that he met all the conditions and should have some help, but there was just nothing available. In his part of the country the waiting list was thousands of people for care visitors, tens of thousands of people for care home places. All that the services could say was that if he had tons of money he could have something instantly, but with no funds left apart from his standard old-age pension, there was nothing they could do.
This is the reality that tens of thousands of people up and down the country are facing, maybe hundreds of thousands. There is just no work force here any more to do the jobs. The pay for care work is dreadful, the work itself is incredibly difficult both physically and emotionally, the main source of people willing to do the work for so little return was the EU. And they have been deliberately driven out of this country merely for the gain of politicians and billionaires.
I hate that I am hijacking your thread and making a political rant. This thread is about your father, and about you; but it is also unavoidably about the tens & hundreds of thousands of people everywhere across this supposedly rich country that similarly need help and are getting nothing. And it is about those who have done this, who were already rich beyond the scope for most of us to understand, but had to have more and more and more. I burn and I weep, and I know that there is no help to be had. I can send my love and my concern, but hearts and prayers do nothing.
I burn. I rage. I weep. Polly xxx"
But as sad thumbs up at the state of this so called first world nation. | |||
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"The experiences I could recount! Eventually I learned that if a patient says they want to go home then the hospital will send them almost regardless of their home situation or health. Relatives then have a choice between abandoning the person to cope with whatever resources are available or dropping out of their own life and other responsibilities to care for the relative. I should say that older people can sometimes be their own and their relatives worst enemies by refusing care, lying about their situation and telling medical and care professionals that they have plenty of help at home. They do this from pride and to maintain their independence but sadly it has the opposite effect. " Precisely. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
If you didn't go to help, who would his neighbours/ your dad call?
My Dad wouldn't call anyone. The neighbour would probably go to the people in the restaurant who knew him and they would ring me. Or they'd ring 999 if they thought it was important.
Could you ask them to call 999 next time?
The only way to make something happen could be to completely withdraw your help.
"This it sounds awful and uncaring but once in hospital they have to make sure that if he returns home he will be able to care for himself and be safe. You will be able to tell them he needs care of some kind and they can set that in motion. As you have POA they have to listen to you rather than your dad despite what he says.
I know this from experience, it wasn't easy emotionally but it meant mum was safe and cared for as non of us, her children, were able to physically care for her.
Good luck with it x | |||
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"You are between a rock and a very hard place. Everyone will tell you how brave, selfless and caring you are but nobody will offer help. All the time you cope adult social care will leave you to it. If you dare complain about your situation you will be told how lucky you are to still have him and some people will tell you that they'd give anything to have one more hour with their dad but they won't offer help. Have you called the dementia help line, age UK or similar? Is there any chance if council funded carers? Could you find it in yourself to ignore pleas for you to attend to him and phone an ambulance instead? I know none of these suggestions is anywhere near to ideal but I don't see how you can continue to deal with this. " | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
If you didn't go to help, who would his neighbours/ your dad call?
My Dad wouldn't call anyone. The neighbour would probably go to the people in the restaurant who knew him and they would ring me. Or they'd ring 999 if they thought it was important.
Could you ask them to call 999 next time?
The only way to make something happen could be to completely withdraw your help.
This it sounds awful and uncaring but once in hospital they have to make sure that if he returns home he will be able to care for himself and be safe. You will be able to tell them he needs care of some kind and they can set that in motion. As you have POA they have to listen to you rather than your dad despite what he says.
I know this from experience, it wasn't easy emotionally but it meant mum was safe and cared for as non of us, her children, were able to physically care for her.
Good luck with it x"The last time Dad was in hospital (only kept in because I removed his keys and made it impossible for them to send him home without breaking in), they promised a care package and assessment upon discharge. He was discharged with a month's package of care. Social services came to "assess" during the second week and immediately cancelled the package. That left me back in the lurch and this was despite me explaining my own physical situation. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
If you didn't go to help, who would his neighbours/ your dad call?
My Dad wouldn't call anyone. The neighbour would probably go to the people in the restaurant who knew him and they would ring me. Or they'd ring 999 if they thought it was important.
Could you ask them to call 999 next time?
The only way to make something happen could be to completely withdraw your help.
This it sounds awful and uncaring but once in hospital they have to make sure that if he returns home he will be able to care for himself and be safe. You will be able to tell them he needs care of some kind and they can set that in motion. As you have POA they have to listen to you rather than your dad despite what he says.
I know this from experience, it wasn't easy emotionally but it meant mum was safe and cared for as non of us, her children, were able to physically care for her.
Good luck with it x
The last time Dad was in hospital (only kept in because I removed his keys and made it impossible for them to send him home without breaking in), they promised a care package and assessment upon discharge.
He was discharged with a month's package of care. Social services came to "assess" during the second week and immediately cancelled the package. That left me back in the lurch and this was despite me explaining my own physical situation."We had similar problems, we just kept doing it all again. It was hard and time consuming and often everything fell through but we just did it all again. We did have to step back a bit at times so things went wrong, just to prove the help she needed. We were lucky (in a way) as there's 3 of us siblings plus my husband so we weren't doing it alone. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
If you didn't go to help, who would his neighbours/ your dad call?
My Dad wouldn't call anyone. The neighbour would probably go to the people in the restaurant who knew him and they would ring me. Or they'd ring 999 if they thought it was important.
Could you ask them to call 999 next time?
The only way to make something happen could be to completely withdraw your help.
This it sounds awful and uncaring but once in hospital they have to make sure that if he returns home he will be able to care for himself and be safe. You will be able to tell them he needs care of some kind and they can set that in motion. As you have POA they have to listen to you rather than your dad despite what he says.
I know this from experience, it wasn't easy emotionally but it meant mum was safe and cared for as non of us, her children, were able to physically care for her.
Good luck with it x
The last time Dad was in hospital (only kept in because I removed his keys and made it impossible for them to send him home without breaking in), they promised a care package and assessment upon discharge.
He was discharged with a month's package of care. Social services came to "assess" during the second week and immediately cancelled the package. That left me back in the lurch and this was despite me explaining my own physical situation."One of the occasions when my dad was in hospital they forcibly discharged him to an empty house 300 miles away from me. He didn't have keys so they sent a locksmith to break open the house, put him inside, and gave him the key for the new lock. He was left alone in the house with a loaf of bread, a bottle of milk, no care visits arranged, and unable to walk more than 10 metres unaided. Social services had explicitly promised me that he would not be discharged until a daily care package was in place; instead I only found out that he had been dumped back to an empty house when he managed to telephone me. The system does not work, the system is broken. | |||
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"Reading these stories is exactly why I have stressed to my kids ever since they could understand, youngest is now 24, why I would voluntarily quit this life if I was to become so incapacitated, mentally or physically, that I needed 24 hour care. Hopefully I'd have a chance to do something myself whilst I was still able but if not, one of my offspring who really understands me has agreed to do it for me. No details have been given but I trust in their plan. I just can't bear to think of the stress and hardship they'd go thorough to keep me going. I know it's done out of love but I can't help but think of the effect it has on the caring love ones, the havoc it wreaks on their lives. Sorry to be so dark but I feel very strongly about situations like this and if anyone going through this is offended by my words then I apologise. Frank" I absolutely get where you’re coming from frank, I really do. My dad has always said this to us as he wouldn’t want to live with dementia. It’s an unfair ask though as it’s not legal here. | |||
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"Reading these stories is exactly why I have stressed to my kids ever since they could understand, youngest is now 24, why I would voluntarily quit this life if I was to become so incapacitated, mentally or physically, that I needed 24 hour care. Hopefully I'd have a chance to do something myself whilst I was still able but if not, one of my offspring who really understands me has agreed to do it for me. No details have been given but I trust in their plan. I just can't bear to think of the stress and hardship they'd go thorough to keep me going. I know it's done out of love but I can't help but think of the effect it has on the caring love ones, the havoc it wreaks on their lives. Sorry to be so dark but I feel very strongly about situations like this and if anyone going through this is offended by my words then I apologise. Frank" Your child/children could easily end up in prison though ! Would you want that to happen ? Instead maybe you should take yourself off (alone) to a country where euthansia is legal  | |||
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"Absolutely no offense, Frank. My Dad said yesterday that he wants to die. He asked me to "check him in" to the local hospital where he wanted euthanasia. I explained that isn't possible at hospitals and he just accepted it. He said he might take a lot of pills but would do so downstairs because it would be easier to "drag him out to X [the local cemetery]" If there was a legal way I could assist him, I think I would now. But if we did have euthanasia laws, he would be a prime candidate in the "cannot give consent" category. It's very difficult to watch him fading away mentally. He is still really healthy physically, for a man of 84. " It's the hardest thing to go through. It destroyed us watching our mam fade away. My mam asked us not to let her go in a home and that she wanted to die in her own home. We had a meeting between us 7 kids and decided we would look after her until the end. My 3 sisters were awesome they took took weekly turns living with her even though they had their own familys. She had vascular dementia which the doctor told us would take her with a cardiac arrest. It did ,I will never forget what our sisters did for us 4 brothers. She got her wish in the end . PS I love my sisters so much. | |||
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"Absolutely no offense, Frank. My Dad said yesterday that he wants to die. He asked me to "check him in" to the local hospital where he wanted euthanasia. I explained that isn't possible at hospitals and he just accepted it. He said he might take a lot of pills but would do so downstairs because it would be easier to "drag him out to X [the local cemetery]" If there was a legal way I could assist him, I think I would now. But if we did have euthanasia laws, he would be a prime candidate in the "cannot give consent" category. It's very difficult to watch him fading away mentally. He is still really healthy physically, for a man of 84. It's the hardest thing to go through. It destroyed us watching our mam fade away. My mam asked us not to let her go in a home and that she wanted to die in her own home. We had a meeting between us 7 kids and decided we would look after her until the end. My 3 sisters were awesome they took took weekly turns living with her even though they had their own familys. She had vascular dementia which the doctor told us would take her with a cardiac arrest. It did ,I will never forget what our sisters did for us 4 brothers. She got her wish in the end . PS I love my sisters so much." You're very lucky that your sisters were able to do that. Me and my siblings had full time jobs (to pay our mortgages etc) so weren't able to care for mum. I wouldn't have been able to care for mum anyway due to my lack of mobility and mums hatred of me  | |||
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"On a different note my mum used to say when/if i get like that (having dementia) put me in a home. However when she needed care she was aggresive and argumentative when we mentioned care and we had to go against her wishes at the time." Dad has been verbally aggressive to people we've tried to get involved in care before. He snaps at me. We're going to have to go against his wishes at some point because I simply can't look after him at the point he requires daily involvement. I'm still in bed, in pain, from yesterday's expedition to his house. I simply cannot do it. | |||
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"On a different note my mum used to say when/if i get like that (having dementia) put me in a home. However when she needed care she was aggresive and argumentative when we mentioned care and we had to go against her wishes at the time. Dad has been verbally aggressive to people we've tried to get involved in care before. He snaps at me. We're going to have to go against his wishes at some point because I simply can't look after him at the point he requires daily involvement. I'm still in bed, in pain, from yesterday's expedition to his house. I simply cannot do it." Fully and completely understand. It must be a very troubling and stressful time for you. | |||
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"Absolutely no offense, Frank. My Dad said yesterday that he wants to die. He asked me to "check him in" to the local hospital where he wanted euthanasia. I explained that isn't possible at hospitals and he just accepted it. He said he might take a lot of pills but would do so downstairs because it would be easier to "drag him out to X [the local cemetery]" If there was a legal way I could assist him, I think I would now. But if we did have euthanasia laws, he would be a prime candidate in the "cannot give consent" category. It's very difficult to watch him fading away mentally. He is still really healthy physically, for a man of 84. It's the hardest thing to go through. It destroyed us watching our mam fade away. My mam asked us not to let her go in a home and that she wanted to die in her own home. We had a meeting between us 7 kids and decided we would look after her until the end. My 3 sisters were awesome they took took weekly turns living with her even though they had their own familys. She had vascular dementia which the doctor told us would take her with a cardiac arrest. It did ,I will never forget what our sisters did for us 4 brothers. She got her wish in the end . PS I love my sisters so much." This is exactly what we're going through with my nan, she's adamant the only way she's leaving her house is feet first. My mum moved in with her so she does what she can and my aunt does too, but my aunt has a husband with als who is also showing dementia signs (one of the symptoms of his disease) and isn't in the best of health herself and does what she can. So my mum has to juggle the care alongside working full time. KC all I can say is my heart goes out to you having to go through this, and I personally would not stop contacting everyone you can until they give you some help xx Tinder | |||
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"On a different note my mum used to say when/if i get like that (having dementia) put me in a home. However when she needed care she was aggresive and argumentative when we mentioned care and we had to go against her wishes at the time. Dad has been verbally aggressive to people we've tried to get involved in care before. He snaps at me. We're going to have to go against his wishes at some point because I simply can't look after him at the point he requires daily involvement. I'm still in bed, in pain, from yesterday's expedition to his house. I simply cannot do it." It's a very difficult time for you, i hope you get some help with your dad. If your dads neighbour phones you today i'd suggest you ask them to call 999. | |||
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"On a different note my mum used to say when/if i get like that (having dementia) put me in a home. However when she needed care she was aggresive and argumentative when we mentioned care and we had to go against her wishes at the time. Dad has been verbally aggressive to people we've tried to get involved in care before. He snaps at me. We're going to have to go against his wishes at some point because I simply can't look after him at the point he requires daily involvement. I'm still in bed, in pain, from yesterday's expedition to his house. I simply cannot do it." Going against a parents wishes is extremely difficult as it's counter to everything we're used to in life. It's a very difficult situation to be put in but your relationship and children must come before your father. It's harsh but responsibility for people needs to filter sideways and down first. How easy it is for me to type those words when I'm not the one being called by neighbours to attend to a parent but I have learned this the hard way. You know I sympathise  | |||
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and messages, it is cathartic to have somewhere to offload where it won't be overhead by my Dad's grandchildren. " | |||
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and messages, it is cathartic to have somewhere to offload where it won't be overhead by my Dad's grandchildren. " I hope you get it all sorted out in the best way for all of you x | |||
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and messages, it is cathartic to have somewhere to offload where it won't be overhead by my Dad's grandchildren. I hope you get it all sorted out in the best way for all of you x" Thanks. All quiet on the western front today. I'll probably go back on Tuesday because I ordered him an outdoor walking frame to see if that helps him get out to the shop. It'll need setting up for him, and mobility equipment is now my specialism  | |||
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and messages, it is cathartic to have somewhere to offload where it won't be overhead by my Dad's grandchildren. I hope you get it all sorted out in the best way for all of you x Thanks. All quiet on the western front today. I'll probably go back on Tuesday because I ordered him an outdoor walking frame to see if that helps him get out to the shop. It'll need setting up for him, and mobility equipment is now my specialism "Has it got wheels? I'm trying to encourage my dad to get one because I think it'll be more stable than his current walking stick. He's talking about going to two sticks. | |||
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and messages, it is cathartic to have somewhere to offload where it won't be overhead by my Dad's grandchildren. I hope you get it all sorted out in the best way for all of you x Thanks. All quiet on the western front today. I'll probably go back on Tuesday because I ordered him an outdoor walking frame to see if that helps him get out to the shop. It'll need setting up for him, and mobility equipment is now my specialism
Has it got wheels? I'm trying to encourage my dad to get one because I think it'll be more stable than his current walking stick. He's talking about going to two sticks."Yes. It's an outdoor rollator that has the option to be used as a seat and has a shopping bag on the front. He's taken to leaning on a supermarket trolley and pushing it home (which I understand the supermarket doesn't approve of!) Attempts to get home deliveries of supermarket goods were abortive to say the least. He gets agitated and abusive at anyone delivering things he thinks he should be able to collect himself, including prescriptions. | |||
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and messages, it is cathartic to have somewhere to offload where it won't be overhead by my Dad's grandchildren. I hope you get it all sorted out in the best way for all of you x Thanks. All quiet on the western front today. I'll probably go back on Tuesday because I ordered him an outdoor walking frame to see if that helps him get out to the shop. It'll need setting up for him, and mobility equipment is now my specialism
Has it got wheels? I'm trying to encourage my dad to get one because I think it'll be more stable than his current walking stick. He's talking about going to two sticks.
Yes. It's an outdoor rollator that has the option to be used as a seat and has a shopping bag on the front. He's taken to leaning on a supermarket trolley and pushing it home (which I understand the supermarket doesn't approve of!)
Attempts to get home deliveries of supermarket goods were abortive to say the least. He gets agitated and abusive at anyone delivering things he thinks he should be able to collect himself, including prescriptions. "Can empathise with your frustration | |||
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and messages, it is cathartic to have somewhere to offload where it won't be overhead by my Dad's grandchildren. I hope you get it all sorted out in the best way for all of you x Thanks. All quiet on the western front today. I'll probably go back on Tuesday because I ordered him an outdoor walking frame to see if that helps him get out to the shop. It'll need setting up for him, and mobility equipment is now my specialism
Has it got wheels? I'm trying to encourage my dad to get one because I think it'll be more stable than his current walking stick. He's talking about going to two sticks.
Yes. It's an outdoor rollator that has the option to be used as a seat and has a shopping bag on the front. He's taken to leaning on a supermarket trolley and pushing it home (which I understand the supermarket doesn't approve of!)
Attempts to get home deliveries of supermarket goods were abortive to say the least. He gets agitated and abusive at anyone delivering things he thinks he should be able to collect himself, including prescriptions. "I'll take a look at them. He'd need something he could easily transport on his mobility scooter. I have to stop him using the walking stick he made from the branch of a tree. | |||
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and messages, it is cathartic to have somewhere to offload where it won't be overhead by my Dad's grandchildren. I hope you get it all sorted out in the best way for all of you x Thanks. All quiet on the western front today. I'll probably go back on Tuesday because I ordered him an outdoor walking frame to see if that helps him get out to the shop. It'll need setting up for him, and mobility equipment is now my specialism
Has it got wheels? I'm trying to encourage my dad to get one because I think it'll be more stable than his current walking stick. He's talking about going to two sticks.
Yes. It's an outdoor rollator that has the option to be used as a seat and has a shopping bag on the front. He's taken to leaning on a supermarket trolley and pushing it home (which I understand the supermarket doesn't approve of!)
Attempts to get home deliveries of supermarket goods were abortive to say the least. He gets agitated and abusive at anyone delivering things he thinks he should be able to collect himself, including prescriptions.
I'll take a look at them. He'd need something he could easily transport on his mobility scooter. I have to stop him using the walking stick he made from the branch of a tree."I can send you the link to the one I bought, if you like? It should be foldable but until I see it in real life, won't know how compact it is. My Dad + a mobility scooter would be an accident waiting to happen  | |||
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and messages, it is cathartic to have somewhere to offload where it won't be overhead by my Dad's grandchildren. I hope you get it all sorted out in the best way for all of you x Thanks. All quiet on the western front today. I'll probably go back on Tuesday because I ordered him an outdoor walking frame to see if that helps him get out to the shop. It'll need setting up for him, and mobility equipment is now my specialism
Has it got wheels? I'm trying to encourage my dad to get one because I think it'll be more stable than his current walking stick. He's talking about going to two sticks.
Yes. It's an outdoor rollator that has the option to be used as a seat and has a shopping bag on the front. He's taken to leaning on a supermarket trolley and pushing it home (which I understand the supermarket doesn't approve of!)
Attempts to get home deliveries of supermarket goods were abortive to say the least. He gets agitated and abusive at anyone delivering things he thinks he should be able to collect himself, including prescriptions. "I can understand thinking he should be able to do things for himself. Sadly people don't realise they're not able. My mum used to do some really daft things, including crawling up the stairs with two hot drinks balanced on a cardboard box lid... | |||
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and messages, it is cathartic to have somewhere to offload where it won't be overhead by my Dad's grandchildren. I hope you get it all sorted out in the best way for all of you x Thanks. All quiet on the western front today. I'll probably go back on Tuesday because I ordered him an outdoor walking frame to see if that helps him get out to the shop. It'll need setting up for him, and mobility equipment is now my specialism
Has it got wheels? I'm trying to encourage my dad to get one because I think it'll be more stable than his current walking stick. He's talking about going to two sticks.
Yes. It's an outdoor rollator that has the option to be used as a seat and has a shopping bag on the front. He's taken to leaning on a supermarket trolley and pushing it home (which I understand the supermarket doesn't approve of!)
Attempts to get home deliveries of supermarket goods were abortive to say the least. He gets agitated and abusive at anyone delivering things he thinks he should be able to collect himself, including prescriptions.
I'll take a look at them. He'd need something he could easily transport on his mobility scooter. I have to stop him using the walking stick he made from the branch of a tree.
I can send you the link to the one I bought, if you like? It should be foldable but until I see it in real life, won't know how compact it is.
My Dad + a mobility scooter would be an accident waiting to happen "I don't think links are allowed in pms. I can Google | |||
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and messages, it is cathartic to have somewhere to offload where it won't be overhead by my Dad's grandchildren. I hope you get it all sorted out in the best way for all of you x Thanks. All quiet on the western front today. I'll probably go back on Tuesday because I ordered him an outdoor walking frame to see if that helps him get out to the shop. It'll need setting up for him, and mobility equipment is now my specialism
Has it got wheels? I'm trying to encourage my dad to get one because I think it'll be more stable than his current walking stick. He's talking about going to two sticks.
Yes. It's an outdoor rollator that has the option to be used as a seat and has a shopping bag on the front. He's taken to leaning on a supermarket trolley and pushing it home (which I understand the supermarket doesn't approve of!)
Attempts to get home deliveries of supermarket goods were abortive to say the least. He gets agitated and abusive at anyone delivering things he thinks he should be able to collect himself, including prescriptions.
I'll take a look at them. He'd need something he could easily transport on his mobility scooter. I have to stop him using the walking stick he made from the branch of a tree.
I can send you the link to the one I bought, if you like? It should be foldable but until I see it in real life, won't know how compact it is.
My Dad + a mobility scooter would be an accident waiting to happen
I don't think links are allowed in pms. I can Google "It's called a Traxion Outdoor Rollator. But there are lots of different ones, obviously. I have an indoor walking frame for myself (actually, 2) | |||
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" My Dad + a mobility scooter would be an accident waiting to happen "My dad hates using his, he says it makes him look old. He's 96... | |||
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and messages, it is cathartic to have somewhere to offload where it won't be overhead by my Dad's grandchildren. I hope you get it all sorted out in the best way for all of you x Thanks. All quiet on the western front today. I'll probably go back on Tuesday because I ordered him an outdoor walking frame to see if that helps him get out to the shop. It'll need setting up for him, and mobility equipment is now my specialism
Has it got wheels? I'm trying to encourage my dad to get one because I think it'll be more stable than his current walking stick. He's talking about going to two sticks.
Yes. It's an outdoor rollator that has the option to be used as a seat and has a shopping bag on the front. He's taken to leaning on a supermarket trolley and pushing it home (which I understand the supermarket doesn't approve of!)
Attempts to get home deliveries of supermarket goods were abortive to say the least. He gets agitated and abusive at anyone delivering things he thinks he should be able to collect himself, including prescriptions.
I'll take a look at them. He'd need something he could easily transport on his mobility scooter. I have to stop him using the walking stick he made from the branch of a tree.
I can send you the link to the one I bought, if you like? It should be foldable but until I see it in real life, won't know how compact it is.
My Dad + a mobility scooter would be an accident waiting to happen
I don't think links are allowed in pms. I can Google
It's called a Traxion Outdoor Rollator. But there are lots of different ones, obviously.
I have an indoor walking frame for myself (actually, 2) "Thank you. They're looking at first glance a bit too big to transport. | |||
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" My Dad + a mobility scooter would be an accident waiting to happen
My dad hates using his, he says it makes him look old. He's 96..."I admit I have to try and stop myself getting cross with Dad when he claims he doesn't want to use XYZ aid because they're for old people. He's talking to his 37yo daughter who uses a blesséd wheelchair, crutches and walking frames! 
My Dad would forget how to operate a scooter and would almost certainly have a nasty accident | |||
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" My Dad + a mobility scooter would be an accident waiting to happen
My dad hates using his, he says it makes him look old. He's 96...
I admit I have to try and stop myself getting cross with Dad when he claims he doesn't want to use XYZ aid because they're for old people. He's talking to his 37yo daughter who uses a blesséd wheelchair, crutches and walking frames!
My Dad would forget how to operate a scooter and would almost certainly have a nasty accident "You see I can understand the way they feel and I'm sure you can even more. That's why we're so conflicted when it comes to all this. | |||
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" My Dad + a mobility scooter would be an accident waiting to happen
My dad hates using his, he says it makes him look old. He's 96...
I admit I have to try and stop myself getting cross with Dad when he claims he doesn't want to use XYZ aid because they're for old people. He's talking to his 37yo daughter who uses a blesséd wheelchair, crutches and walking frames!
My Dad would forget how to operate a scooter and would almost certainly have a nasty accident
You see I can understand the way they feel and I'm sure you can even more. That's why we're so conflicted when it comes to all this. "It's interesting. I've never been embarrassed to be seen with my mobility aids. I actively love my wheelchair (I hate lack of access but that's not the chair's fault). I do find my crutches annoying but that's because they hurt my shoulders and fall over. I know my alternative option is to sit at home and do absolutely nothing, so I use the mobility aids. It's impossible to get across to Dad that he's enjoyed 80+ years of relatively carefree, healthy existence and that it's pretty normal to have to use some kind of aid once you reach his sort of age. But being rational gets us nowhere  | |||
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" My Dad + a mobility scooter would be an accident waiting to happen
My dad hates using his, he says it makes him look old. He's 96...
I admit I have to try and stop myself getting cross with Dad when he claims he doesn't want to use XYZ aid because they're for old people. He's talking to his 37yo daughter who uses a blesséd wheelchair, crutches and walking frames!
My Dad would forget how to operate a scooter and would almost certainly have a nasty accident
You see I can understand the way they feel and I'm sure you can even more. That's why we're so conflicted when it comes to all this.
It's interesting. I've never been embarrassed to be seen with my mobility aids. I actively love my wheelchair (I hate lack of access but that's not the chair's fault). I do find my crutches annoying but that's because they hurt my shoulders and fall over. I know my alternative option is to sit at home and do absolutely nothing, so I use the mobility aids. It's impossible to get across to Dad that he's enjoyed 80+ years of relatively carefree, healthy existence and that it's pretty normal to have to use some kind of aid once you reach his sort of age. But being rational gets us nowhere "I think it's the being old they're struggling to accept or at least my dad is. He won't have a hearing test, gets really offended when people offer him a seat, that sort of thing. I've tried the arguments you put forward and explaining they're aids to independence not aimed at taking it away but he won't have it. I'm glad you love your wheelchair | |||
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" My Dad + a mobility scooter would be an accident waiting to happen
My dad hates using his, he says it makes him look old. He's 96...
I admit I have to try and stop myself getting cross with Dad when he claims he doesn't want to use XYZ aid because they're for old people. He's talking to his 37yo daughter who uses a blesséd wheelchair, crutches and walking frames!
My Dad would forget how to operate a scooter and would almost certainly have a nasty accident
You see I can understand the way they feel and I'm sure you can even more. That's why we're so conflicted when it comes to all this.
It's interesting. I've never been embarrassed to be seen with my mobility aids. I actively love my wheelchair (I hate lack of access but that's not the chair's fault). I do find my crutches annoying but that's because they hurt my shoulders and fall over. I know my alternative option is to sit at home and do absolutely nothing, so I use the mobility aids. It's impossible to get across to Dad that he's enjoyed 80+ years of relatively carefree, healthy existence and that it's pretty normal to have to use some kind of aid once you reach his sort of age. But being rational gets us nowhere
I think it's the being old they're struggling to accept or at least my dad is. He won't have a hearing test, gets really offended when people offer him a seat, that sort of thing. I've tried the arguments you put forward and explaining they're aids to independence not aimed at taking it away but he won't have it.
I'm glad you love your wheelchair "Ohhhhhhh and hrs forgotten how to use his bone anchored hearing aid and broken his conventional one. I've sent it to be repaired, but he's very deaf at the moment too..... | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
There comes a point when you have to do what's best for both of you. If that means Dad has to go into full time care, then that's what's best for both of you. You don't need to feel bad about it, and yes I am speaking from experience.
Who is going to pay for that? This is the problem."I work in social services care & finance if you want more info - or a rant xxx J x | |||
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"General basic info for anyone Adult social care services are very rarely free. Everyone will have a financial assessment. If you have over £23,250 you have to pay full cost for services (my council is £20 per hour for care in your home, residential care varies by home & level of care needed but the most expensive we have is £2500 per week). If you have a pre-paid funeral plan, this will be counted as income. If you have between £14,250 & £23,250 you are charged £172.80 per week plus a tariff of £1 for every £250 you have between the 2 amounts. If you only have a state pension then our charge for residential care is normally £172.80 per week. If you own a property, it isn’t included for care in your own home but is for residential care. The property isn’t included for the 1st 12 weeks. You can have a Deferred Payment Arrangement & sell at a later date but will be charged interest and arrangement fees. " How does owning a home with a substantial mortgage (as a % of equity) affect things, if you don't mind me asking? I can take to PM if you'd prefer. This is a complicating factor, as is the fact he has debt coming out of his ears. | |||
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"The equity in the house might be £30k on a good day but that's not going to last long "Mortgage is taken into consideration but if little equity it would be best to sell sooner rather than later just so you know exactly what money he has. The debt is not taken into consideration, but that is another conversation… | |||
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"Today, I've spent over 1.5hr on the phone in various chunks, because his GP and dentist keep phoning me. I've explictly (in writing and verbally) asked the GP to make a social services referral. The response? "We think you should come to a joint appointment with your father". When I explained this was very difficult/impossible due to my own physical issues, they just said "that's what the GP asked us to do" and when I got upset (crying, in front of my 6yo), they said "if you get upset, I can't help you". I have to wait a week to speak to the dentist who asked a receptionist to call me with concerns because he only works 1 day. I'll be at work next Thursday and they can't give me an approximate time for this call. I've asked them to write to the GP with their concerns/observations but the response was "today might have been a one-off". It's not a one-off. This is how he is now. This is normal. But no-one is listening. I've sat, on the phone, trying to supervise a child on a playground, crying in public and still, no-one is listening. No-one is helping. No-one cares. Mr KC rang the Alzheimer's Society today and they advised him to call the local SS again tomorrow, himself (not me) and to see if that helps. If they listen to him (a man) and not me, I don't even know how I'll feel. This is my only week off work with my daughter this summer 6wk hol but I'm having to ask her to wait/stop/don't talk/don't rustle your lunch stuff, so I can talk to Dad's medical people. Well, the admin from the medical places because the actual medics/dentists obviously don't have time. I'm at the very end of my tether. " Speak to Adult Services at your local council. Your Dad if he suffers from dementia should be able to get a package of care for him. There is help available for you and your dad. Your GP has a duty of care towards your Dad and should refer him if appropriate. My father in law had Vascular Dementia and died during Covid. Its an horrific illness but you should not be suffering through this without help. Please call Adult Services, thinking of you all right now, Mrs x | |||
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"So far, the GP has not acted on my request for a social services referral and my previous dealings with social services directly came to naught. Mr KC will try tomorrow. He's not directly related to my Dad, remember. If his input changes things, it just confirms my suspicions that disabled women/parents claiming to be at the end of their tether are not taken seriously. All that's been offered today by the two medical centres who contacted me (I didn't initiate today), is "come to a joint appointment" several weeks in the future. I'd already explained why this is impossible for me but not listening!" Your experience is terrible !! Could you make a joint appointment for you and your dad, make it to suit you, you make your way there, tell your dad but leave him to make his way there (obviously he won't), then show your letters showing POA, explain that your dad clearly can't manage to get to that appointment and simply isn't coping with life ... then (hopefully) go from there to discuss getting help for your dad. It's a bit sneaky but being as the GP is rubbish it might work for you to get help for your dad. I've waffled but hopefully it's understandable | |||
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Strange thing is she can remember things from 30 years ago ! My late father summed it up in his typical "matter of fact" way. He said the human is only designed to survive for around 70 years, the doctors can keep the body working but there is pretty much nothing they can do about the brain. In simple terms the body lives whilst the brain is dieing | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
"Totally get this. Heartbreaking. They’re fine one minute, then not. Currently trying to get a diagnosis through the doc. | |||
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"My mother is suffering with this right now. Very very sad when she doesn't know who her own family are Strange thing is she can remember things from 30 years ago ! My late father summed it up in his typical "matter of fact" way. He said the human is only designed to survive for around 70 years, the doctors can keep the body working but there is pretty much nothing they can do about the brain. In simple terms the body lives whilst the brain is dieing "He is right oxidisation is destroying our dna. The memory thing is classic in old people regardless of dementia. My mother is 84 with no signs of dementia but talks a lot about her girlhood in Geneva. | |||
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"My mother is suffering with this right now. Very very sad when she doesn't know who her own family are Strange thing is she can remember things from 30 years ago ! My late father summed it up in his typical "matter of fact" way. He said the human is only designed to survive for around 70 years, the doctors can keep the body working but there is pretty much nothing they can do about the brain. In simple terms the body lives whilst the brain is dieing
He is right oxidisation is destroying our dna. The memory thing is classic in old people regardless of dementia. My mother is 84 with no signs of dementia but talks a lot about her girlhood in Geneva."I think we all do that ! Probably wishing we were still younger !! | |||
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"Today, I've spent over 1.5hr on the phone in various chunks, because his GP and dentist keep phoning me. I've explictly (in writing and verbally) asked the GP to make a social services referral. The response? "We think you should come to a joint appointment with your father". When I explained this was very difficult/impossible due to my own physical issues, they just said "that's what the GP asked us to do" and when I got upset (crying, in front of my 6yo), they said "if you get upset, I can't help you". I have to wait a week to speak to the dentist who asked a receptionist to call me with concerns because he only works 1 day. I'll be at work next Thursday and they can't give me an approximate time for this call. I've asked them to write to the GP with their concerns/observations but the response was "today might have been a one-off". It's not a one-off. This is how he is now. This is normal. But no-one is listening. I've sat, on the phone, trying to supervise a child on a playground, crying in public and still, no-one is listening. No-one is helping. No-one cares. Mr KC rang the Alzheimer's Society today and they advised him to call the local SS again tomorrow, himself (not me) and to see if that helps. If they listen to him (a man) and not me, I don't even know how I'll feel. This is my only week off work with my daughter this summer 6wk hol but I'm having to ask her to wait/stop/don't talk/don't rustle your lunch stuff, so I can talk to Dad's medical people. Well, the admin from the medical places because the actual medics/dentists obviously don't have time. I'm at the very end of my tether. " I missed this yesterday. How are you today? What your GP like, accessible, easy to talk to? | |||
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I admit that I am a very independant person having lived on my own for 49 years and this frustrates my daughter big time.
The next few years promise to be interesting . | |||
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"As someone who is in the very early stages of Dementia I have found this thread to be most informative about some of the problems I may encounter in the future. I am already under pressure from my Daughter, Sister and Ex Wife to start looking for mobility items and also to get quotes for Stair lifts
I admit that I am a very independant person having lived on my own for 49 years and this frustrates my daughter big time.
The next few years promise to be interesting ."Hi Tarkus, the best advice we can give from this side of things is to make sure you have PoA signed for two trusted relatives, for both health/welfare and finance. Mobility aids are designed to MAINTAIN independence, not take it away. I think you know I'm a manual wheelchair user and I'm 37. It enables me to live a relatively normal life. Without it, I'd have zero independence. So, please don't feel that taking on board the use of mobility aids is a negative thing because it isn't. Your local council occupational therapy people can offer a free assessment of what might benefit you, mobility wise. Some items might be free (depending on cost and your personal financial circumstances) whilst others you'd have to self fund. Healthcare people seem very poorly informed about dementia and how it can present, which can be very frustrating for all involved. Sending you all the very best | |||
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"Today's update. Mr KC started ringing around this morning. His input has generated an agreement by SS to carry out an assessment and the GP to arrange speech/Lang therapy people to assess certain issues. This is far more than they've ever agreed to do with me calling. It's simultaneously very helpful but also very annoying because it confirms my suspicions that I'm not taken seriously as a female and possibly a disabled female. I have to be at my Dad's on Monday to have the GP visit at home. That's my last day off with my daughter and we are having to scrap the original plan for a day out and can no longer drop my son at work as planned. She's learning a lot about how life works, anyway, if she hadn't already. Only three phonecalls about Dad-related stuff today, for me "Fantastic | |||
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"Today's update. Mr KC started ringing around this morning. His input has generated an agreement by SS to carry out an assessment and the GP to arrange speech/Lang therapy people to assess certain issues. This is far more than they've ever agreed to do with me calling. It's simultaneously very helpful but also very annoying because it confirms my suspicions that I'm not taken seriously as a female and possibly a disabled female. I have to be at my Dad's on Monday to have the GP visit at home. That's my last day off with my daughter and we are having to scrap the original plan for a day out and can no longer drop my son at work as planned. She's learning a lot about how life works, anyway, if she hadn't already. Only three phonecalls about Dad-related stuff today, for me "That's crap it's taken Mr to call to get any progress, but fingers crossed its the ball rolling on you getting some help for your dad and a bit of weight lifted off of you x Tinder x | |||
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"Have you contacted Dementia Uk. They can offer a nurse and other help and support? Glad things are progressing, I understand how you feel about your voice not being heard. Dementia Uk will listen. " Mr KC spoke to the Alzheimer's Society the other day....... | |||
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"As someone who is in the very early stages of Dementia I have found this thread to be most informative about some of the problems I may encounter in the future. I am already under pressure from my Daughter, Sister and Ex Wife to start looking for mobility items and also to get quotes for Stair lifts
I admit that I am a very independant person having lived on my own for 49 years and this frustrates my daughter big time.
The next few years promise to be interesting .
Hi Tarkus, the best advice we can give from this side of things is to make sure you have PoA signed for two trusted relatives, for both health/welfare and finance. Mobility aids are designed to MAINTAIN independence, not take it away. I think you know I'm a manual wheelchair user and I'm 37. It enables me to live a relatively normal life. Without it, I'd have zero independence. So, please don't feel that taking on board the use of mobility aids is a negative thing because it isn't.
Your local council occupational therapy people can offer a free assessment of what might benefit you, mobility wise. Some items might be free (depending on cost and your personal financial circumstances) whilst others you'd have to self fund.
Healthcare people seem very poorly informed about dementia and how it can present, which can be very frustrating for all involved.
Sending you all the very best "Thank you for your kind words, POA is in place with my daughter and sister covering both health and finances. My mobility issues arise from severe arthritis in both knees. I intend to try and maintain my independance to that end I have renewed the access paving to my house making it wheelchair friendly and am currently having some ramps made for the entrance doors. Am pleased that your husband has had some success in moving things forward but am also appalled that the same responses were not offered to you,it seems we still have a long way to go in terms of acceptance of women in society. Take care and stay safe. | |||
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"Only 3 contradictory messages about his PC so far today! Winning at life
"Oh god! Can you sort it? My mum used to call me and say 'I've had a message on the television " I knew this meant the pc. Once I'd narrowed it down to a pop up rather than an email, a post on Facebook or a messenger message I'd ask her what it said. "I don't know I clicked on the cross but I think it said woo, woo, woo" ... | |||
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"Only 3 contradictory messages about his PC so far today! Winning at life
Oh god! Can you sort it?
My mum used to call me and say
'I've had a message on the television "
I knew this meant the pc. Once I'd narrowed it down to a pop up rather than an email, a post on Facebook or a messenger message I'd ask her what it said.
"I don't know I clicked on the cross but I think it said woo, woo, woo"
..."Nope. His usual PC allegedly "broke" and is irreparable, according to a very condescending man on the phone. He has left a trial of a "new" refurbished PC, using the TV monitor we provided as a screen. This was set up yesterday morning. Obviously, he has forgotten about it or that the TV monitor is now the computer. But the man who he'd called to the house didn't listen to me. It WOULD have been better to try and fix his ancient PC but the man obviously had a vested interest in selling something. Dad will now hound him with phone calls too, which I warned about. It's not Dad's fault | |||
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"Only 3 contradictory messages about his PC so far today! Winning at life
Oh god! Can you sort it?
My mum used to call me and say
'I've had a message on the television "
I knew this meant the pc. Once I'd narrowed it down to a pop up rather than an email, a post on Facebook or a messenger message I'd ask her what it said.
"I don't know I clicked on the cross but I think it said woo, woo, woo"
...
Nope. His usual PC allegedly "broke" and is irreparable, according to a very condescending man on the phone. He has left a trial of a "new" refurbished PC, using the TV monitor we provided as a screen. This was set up yesterday morning. Obviously, he has forgotten about it or that the TV monitor is now the computer. But the man who he'd called to the house didn't listen to me.
It WOULD have been better to try and fix his ancient PC but the man obviously had a vested interest in selling something. Dad will now hound him with phone calls too, which I warned about.
It's not Dad's fault "No it isn't his fault but it isn't yours either. Let him hound shop guy, he deserves it and that is not your problem. Would your dad have presented as capable of making decisions to the computer shop man? | |||
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"Only 3 contradictory messages about his PC so far today! Winning at life
Oh god! Can you sort it?
My mum used to call me and say
'I've had a message on the television "
I knew this meant the pc. Once I'd narrowed it down to a pop up rather than an email, a post on Facebook or a messenger message I'd ask her what it said.
"I don't know I clicked on the cross but I think it said woo, woo, woo"
...
Nope. His usual PC allegedly "broke" and is irreparable, according to a very condescending man on the phone. He has left a trial of a "new" refurbished PC, using the TV monitor we provided as a screen. This was set up yesterday morning. Obviously, he has forgotten about it or that the TV monitor is now the computer. But the man who he'd called to the house didn't listen to me.
It WOULD have been better to try and fix his ancient PC but the man obviously had a vested interest in selling something. Dad will now hound him with phone calls too, which I warned about.
It's not Dad's fault
No it isn't his fault but it isn't yours either.
Let him hound shop guy, he deserves it and that is not your problem. Would your dad have presented as capable of making decisions to the computer shop man?
"Nope. That's why he ended up calling me and my "advice" was to try and fix the old one. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
"I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m sure I speak for a lot of us here and wish you the best and you are stronger than you believe. Feel free to post here whenever you need to vent because underneath all the nude pics and filthy talk we are all human and I’d like to think we are compassionate x | |||
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"Only 3 contradictory messages about his PC so far today! Winning at life
Oh god! Can you sort it?
My mum used to call me and say
'I've had a message on the television "
I knew this meant the pc. Once I'd narrowed it down to a pop up rather than an email, a post on Facebook or a messenger message I'd ask her what it said.
"I don't know I clicked on the cross but I think it said woo, woo, woo"
...
Nope. His usual PC allegedly "broke" and is irreparable, according to a very condescending man on the phone. He has left a trial of a "new" refurbished PC, using the TV monitor we provided as a screen. This was set up yesterday morning. Obviously, he has forgotten about it or that the TV monitor is now the computer. But the man who he'd called to the house didn't listen to me.
It WOULD have been better to try and fix his ancient PC but the man obviously had a vested interest in selling something. Dad will now hound him with phone calls too, which I warned about.
It's not Dad's fault
No it isn't his fault but it isn't yours either.
Let him hound shop guy, he deserves it and that is not your problem. Would your dad have presented as capable of making decisions to the computer shop man?
Nope. That's why he ended up calling me and my "advice" was to try and fix the old one. "Hmmm. | |||
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"I just can't, anymore
How am I supposed to look after my Dad???????
"Its hard love. But love will keep you going. Xx | |||
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"With all due respect to people who say love will keep you going or they did it for you now you have to do it for them. That is not helpful. I've experienced what Mrs KC is going through (still am to a degree) without the addition of being a wheelchair user with a young family. Help is what you need, practical support along with people who understand and allow you to offload." Absolutely this | |||
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"With all due respect to people who say love will keep you going or they did it for you now you have to do it for them. That is not helpful. I've experienced what Mrs KC is going through (still am to a degree) without the addition of being a wheelchair user with a young family. Help is what you need, practical support along with people who understand and allow you to offload." I've experienced it too, those comments don't help at all. What i needed was the GP, SS, care home etc to listen to me and not listen to the woman with early onset, advanced alzheimers who occasionally sounded 'normal'. | |||
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"With all due respect to people who say love will keep you going or they did it for you now you have to do it for them. That is not helpful. I've experienced what Mrs KC is going through (still am to a degree) without the addition of being a wheelchair user with a young family. Help is what you need, practical support along with people who understand and allow you to offload. I've experienced it too, those comments don't help at all. What i needed was the GP, SS, care home etc to listen to me and not listen to the woman with early onset, advanced alzheimers who occasionally sounded 'normal'." Totally agree with this the amount of times we've had but Mrs... said she didn't need or did need etc etc when we know completely different and its all there in her notes to confirm with poa before doing anything is infuriating or we'll ask nan why she hasn't seen so and so and she'll say I told them no and they fail to follow up to make sure it's correct. Tinder | |||
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"With the same love and care he has given and shown you when u was first born " A child and a person with dementia are hardly comparable are they. | |||
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"With all due respect to people who say love will keep you going or they did it for you now you have to do it for them. That is not helpful. I've experienced what Mrs KC is going through (still am to a degree) without the addition of being a wheelchair user with a young family. Help is what you need, practical support along with people who understand and allow you to offload." | |||
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"Ask for help. Even if it's from the occasional home visit" Unfortunately it's not always that easy as this thread has highlighted | |||
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"Only 3 contradictory messages about his PC so far today! Winning at life
Oh god! Can you sort it?
My mum used to call me and say
'I've had a message on the television "
I knew this meant the pc. Once I'd narrowed it down to a pop up rather than an email, a post on Facebook or a messenger message I'd ask her what it said.
"I don't know I clicked on the cross but I think it said woo, woo, woo"
...
Nope. His usual PC allegedly "broke" and is irreparable, according to a very condescending man on the phone. He has left a trial of a "new" refurbished PC, using the TV monitor we provided as a screen. This was set up yesterday morning. Obviously, he has forgotten about it or that the TV monitor is now the computer. But the man who he'd called to the house didn't listen to me.
It WOULD have been better to try and fix his ancient PC but the man obviously had a vested interest in selling something. Dad will now hound him with phone calls too, which I warned about.
It's not Dad's fault
No it isn't his fault but it isn't yours either.
Let him hound shop guy, he deserves it and that is not your problem. Would your dad have presented as capable of making decisions to the computer shop man?
Nope. That's why he ended up calling me and my "advice" was to try and fix the old one.
Hmmm. "My dad was a smart man and was great with a computer but now he is not allowed to touch it as he has made mistakes with online banking and were worried he will get scammed | |||
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"With the same love and care he has given and shown you when u was first born " You have no idea what my childhood was like. If it worked on a like-for-like basis, I'd have been "out" a very long time ago! So don't even start on the guilt trip stuff. That's what the professionals do and I've got enough of that, thank you. | |||
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"Only 3 contradictory messages about his PC so far today! Winning at life
Oh god! Can you sort it?
My mum used to call me and say
'I've had a message on the television "
I knew this meant the pc. Once I'd narrowed it down to a pop up rather than an email, a post on Facebook or a messenger message I'd ask her what it said.
"I don't know I clicked on the cross but I think it said woo, woo, woo"
...
Nope. His usual PC allegedly "broke" and is irreparable, according to a very condescending man on the phone. He has left a trial of a "new" refurbished PC, using the TV monitor we provided as a screen. This was set up yesterday morning. Obviously, he has forgotten about it or that the TV monitor is now the computer. But the man who he'd called to the house didn't listen to me.
It WOULD have been better to try and fix his ancient PC but the man obviously had a vested interest in selling something. Dad will now hound him with phone calls too, which I warned about.
It's not Dad's fault
No it isn't his fault but it isn't yours either.
Let him hound shop guy, he deserves it and that is not your problem. Would your dad have presented as capable of making decisions to the computer shop man?
Nope. That's why he ended up calling me and my "advice" was to try and fix the old one.
Hmmm.
My dad was a smart man and was great with a computer but now he is not allowed to touch it as he has made mistakes with online banking and were worried he will get scammed "It's his only remaining connection to the world so we're trying to preserve it as long as possible. He is struggling with using his mobile phone now and has never really used a landline so doesn't know how that works now. Without email, he'd be completely incommunicado. He's also very deaf (forgetting how to use hearing aids) so phone conversations are challenging. His aids to memory are the written word, he goes back to emails to "remember" things. | |||
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"My dad has dementia and he is worse every time I see him. I'm in London he's in Belfast with my mum looking after him. It's heart breaking to see the man who could solve any problem, fix anything turn into a shell of himself that can't work the TV remote. I had the best dad in the world and now that person is gone. Sorry bit emotional here" Please, join me in being emotional. My Dad definitely wasn't the perfect father, but that's partly my mother's doing. It's horrible to see him regressing, acting like a child in many ways and he has a very frightened look in his eyes. He has always been a very confident and gregarious man, but that has gone. He talks mainly about his childhood, his parents and his grandfather (who died when he was 8). (Edited for typo) | |||
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"My dad has dementia and he is worse every time I see him. I'm in London he's in Belfast with my mum looking after him. It's heart breaking to see the man who could solve any problem, fix anything turn into a shell of himself that can't work the TV remote. I had the best dad in the world and now that person is gone. Sorry bit emotional here Please, join me in being emotional. My Dad definitely wasn't the perfect father, but that's partly my mother's doing. It's horrible to see him regressing, acting like a child in many ways and he has a very frightened look in his eyes. He has always been a very confident and gregarious man, but that has gone. He talks mainly about his childhood, his parents and his grandfather (who died when he was 8). (Edited for typo)" I hate that I can't help! They took his driving licence away and can't play golf anymore. He's also started to get angry and aggressive sometimes. His mum was the same she was a real lady never swore in her life then starting loads and punched her neighbour as she thought she had taken money from her | |||
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"My dad has dementia and he is worse every time I see him. I'm in London he's in Belfast with my mum looking after him. It's heart breaking to see the man who could solve any problem, fix anything turn into a shell of himself that can't work the TV remote. I had the best dad in the world and now that person is gone. Sorry bit emotional here Please, join me in being emotional. My Dad definitely wasn't the perfect father, but that's partly my mother's doing. It's horrible to see him regressing, acting like a child in many ways and he has a very frightened look in his eyes. He has always been a very confident and gregarious man, but that has gone. He talks mainly about his childhood, his parents and his grandfather (who died when he was 8). (Edited for typo) I hate that I can't help! They took his driving licence away and can't play golf anymore. He's also started to get angry and aggressive sometimes. His mum was the same she was a real lady never swore in her life then starting loads and punched her neighbour as she thought she had taken money from her" We're fortunate that Dad has good neighbours both sides. One side are especially helpful on the nutrition side of things. But they can't do everything and of course, they ring me when they think it's necessary. Dad does get very angry very easily, which is a facet of dementia definitely. He's starting to struggle with swallowing too | |||
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"My dad has dementia and he is worse every time I see him. I'm in London he's in Belfast with my mum looking after him. It's heart breaking to see the man who could solve any problem, fix anything turn into a shell of himself that can't work the TV remote. I had the best dad in the world and now that person is gone. Sorry bit emotional here" No need for apologies, I completely empathise with you | |||
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"Dad fallen getting out of shower "Sorry to hear that | |||
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"Dad fallen getting out of shower "Oh no !! Did a neighbour phone ? Wishing you luck in sorting it out. | |||
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"Dad fallen getting out of shower "Sorry to hear that. Let us know what's happening. | |||
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"Dad fallen getting out of shower
Sorry to hear that.
Let us know what's happening."We're heading over to take him to A&E because he can't take a deep breath without shouting out in pain. He'd picked himself up and phoned.... Wish us luck. | |||
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"Dad fallen getting out of shower
Sorry to hear that.
Let us know what's happening.
We're heading over to take him to A&E because he can't take a deep breath without shouting out in pain. He'd picked himself up and phoned.... Wish us luck."Sending hugs, OP. Sorry it's so tough. | |||
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"Dad fallen getting out of shower "Sorry to hear that | |||
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"Dad fallen getting out of shower
Sorry to hear that.
Let us know what's happening.
We're heading over to take him to A&E because he can't take a deep breath without shouting out in pain. He'd picked himself up and phoned.... Wish us luck."Hope they keep him in, in the nicest possible way. | |||
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