FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Who’s ‘taken one for the team’ or done a pity fuck to please another person?
Who’s ‘taken one for the team’ or done a pity fuck to please another person?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Maybe you just felt sorry for them rather than fancied them, or maybe your partner was *SO* up for that wife swapping that you went along with it just so they got their jollies as an act of love?
Anyone ever done that*?
Or is it an absolute no-no. A boundary that will NEVER be crossed?
I’m curious to know, Fabsters!
(* other than all the women that have clearly pity fucked me, obvs   ) |
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Pity isn't an aphrodisiac to me and in my opinion massively disrespectful to the pitied person.
An act of love to have sex with someone you don't fancy? I can understand trying sexual things you're not sure about be because you love someone but not involving another person. I've been in the position where a guy was clearly there because his wife wanted him to be. Fortunately we didn't have sex, it was so obvious that he didn't fancy me but it's a horrible feeling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I ever found out someone fucked me out of pity, I'd probably just go celibate for the rest of my life. There's no recovering after that."
The idea is that they don't know. I certainly went to an effort so he didn't know. I'm not looking to hurt anyone. I just backed myself into a ...bed. And couldn't bring myself to upset him. |
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"Maybe you just felt sorry for them rather than fancied them, or maybe your partner was *SO* up for that wife swapping that you went along with it just so they got their jollies as an act of love?
Anyone ever done that*?
Or is it an absolute no-no. A boundary that will NEVER be crossed?
I’m curious to know, Fabsters!
(* other than all the women that have clearly pity fucked me, obvs )"
It wasn't a pity fuck but year ago the sub who had at the time was bi and had girl friend wanted anal training
I wouldn't have fuck her other wise .
But turn out to be a good fuck .
|
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In my younger days I did after my friend smashed his TV while d*unk. It was very meh which wouldnt have been so bad had he not woken up, made himself breakfast (in MY kitchen) and drank all my orange juice and didnt even leave me any ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve done both - been the pity fuck and has sex because i’ve started something and had to finish it. Call it fear of being called a prick tease or a time waster. I can be accountable for my actions so i’ve just seen it through. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve done both - been the pity fuck and has sex because i’ve started something and had to finish it. Call it fear of being called a prick tease or a time waster. I can be accountable for my actions so i’ve just seen it through. "
Yup I can go along with this!
I'm afraid when I was married I seemed to have gotten into this scenario more than once! I then stopped swinging for years as I was sick to death of being put in crappy situations by my selfish hubby! I can't tell you the joyous freedom I enjoy at making my own decisions and only pleasing myself now! |
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"Never happened.
Never will happen.
I don't fuck for the sake of it.
I don't fuck to keep other people happy.
Anyone expecting it can take pity and go fuck themselves.
"
That;s a bit angry frank mate lol. I expect they would have to be rather extracted to actually work though. I mean, I don't think 'pity fucks' are really a thing in terms of just coming out of pure pity are they? Especially over he internet. There are plenty of ways you can offer sympathy for someone without shagging them when you don't really want to. You'd have to at least want to a bit I think. pt |
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By *elshmumWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Nope I would not as it is not fair on them, I have been the victum of a pity fuck and when I learnt about it, it hurt me and made me feel so bad. I would never want to do that to another person. |
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"Yeah a few times, hey, it was something to do for a few minutes 
You can download games on your phone these days 
Dont like games.. prefer contact sports "
Maybe the game on your phone would have even lasted longer  |
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"Never happened.
Never will happen.
I don't fuck for the sake of it.
I don't fuck to keep other people happy.
Anyone expecting it can take pity and go fuck themselves.
That;s a bit angry frank mate lol. I expect they would have to be rather extracted to actually work though. I mean, I don't think 'pity fucks' are really a thing in terms of just coming out of pure pity are they? Especially over he internet. There are plenty of ways you can offer sympathy for someone without shagging them when you don't really want to. You'd have to at least want to a bit I think. pt"
Who's Frank?
I wouldn't know where the pity originates because as I said above it ain't happening ever. |
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Wow some of the posts here. Maybe there is such a thing... Or is it (for some people) more about losing interest at some point but going through with it anyway?
I always though a 'pity fuck' was one that was pure pity and no attraction at all.
pt |
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"Never happened.
Never will happen.
I don't fuck for the sake of it.
I don't fuck to keep other people happy.
Anyone expecting it can take pity and go fuck themselves.
That;s a bit angry frank mate lol. I expect they would have to be rather extracted to actually work though. I mean, I don't think 'pity fucks' are really a thing in terms of just coming out of pure pity are they? Especially over he internet. There are plenty of ways you can offer sympathy for someone without shagging them when you don't really want to. You'd have to at least want to a bit I think. pt
Who's Frank?
I wouldn't know where the pity originates because as I said above it ain't happening ever. "
Angry frank the HArry enfield character who shows anger over hypotheticals pt |
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"Never happened.
Never will happen.
I don't fuck for the sake of it.
I don't fuck to keep other people happy.
Anyone expecting it can take pity and go fuck themselves.
That;s a bit angry frank mate lol. I expect they would have to be rather extracted to actually work though. I mean, I don't think 'pity fucks' are really a thing in terms of just coming out of pure pity are they? Especially over he internet. There are plenty of ways you can offer sympathy for someone without shagging them when you don't really want to. You'd have to at least want to a bit I think. pt
Who's Frank?
I wouldn't know where the pity originates because as I said above it ain't happening ever.
Angry frank the HArry enfield character who shows anger over hypotheticals pt"
It's not hypothetical though.
The question was asked if anyone had taken one for the team to keep someone happy.
My reply to that was no because I never have and never would, nor would I ever put someone in that situation.
People who take advantage of others for the sake of a fuck deserve my ire. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No chance I'd ever "take one for the team" and Tom is the same.
Now I certainly can't say we've never been a pity fuck.... Who knows. We certainly don't.
xx Jess |
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One thing is for sure...
A lot of people on the Fabs put a huge amount on pressure on other people to go through with things (I mean guilt-wise, not so much via pity unless they can play that card I guess). I actually find it quite dark at times.
If anyone on here changes their minds or for any reason doesn't want to do something... then surely...
Just don't do it!!!!
And don't ever worry about bailing out. It's Fab, Life happens!!!
People expect way too much from this site sometimes. When it works it's great, but you can't expect it to be clockwork ever imo.
I think I'm going add people who 'name and shame' to that list of "what you don't like about Fab!! That is such a warning sign for me.
I can't think of anything worse than a sexual meeting where both parties aren't into it. But honestly? Some people out there? That doesn't seem to bother them! It's actually a bit creepy when you think about it.
pt |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Never happened.
Never will happen.
I don't fuck for the sake of it.
I don't fuck to keep other people happy.
Anyone expecting it can take pity and go fuck themselves.
That;s a bit angry frank mate lol. I expect they would have to be rather extracted to actually work though. I mean, I don't think 'pity fucks' are really a thing in terms of just coming out of pure pity are they? Especially over he internet. There are plenty of ways you can offer sympathy for someone without shagging them when you don't really want to. You'd have to at least want to a bit I think. pt
Who's Frank?
I wouldn't know where the pity originates because as I said above it ain't happening ever.
Angry frank the HArry enfield character who shows anger over hypotheticals pt
It's not hypothetical though.
The question was asked if anyone had taken one for the team to keep someone happy.
My reply to that was no because I never have and never would, nor would I ever put someone in that situation.
People who take advantage of others for the sake of a fuck deserve my ire. "
Does a pity fuck *always* have to be about taking advantage of people? Of course if it is about taking advantage I think everyone would agree that’s despicable behaviour.
Maybe my OP wasn’t clear enough - ie the other party was wanting / needing some sort of sexual intimacy (could be for a plethora of reasons) and despite a lack of sexual attraction you decided to “help them out”.
Or, alternatively, as a couple you meet another couple, you know your partner is *really* keen on their potential swap but you’re more ‘meh’ about it but do it anyway to please your other half .. not exactly “against your will” (that would be wholly wrong) but just going through the motions ..
|
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"Never happened.
Never will happen.
I don't fuck for the sake of it.
I don't fuck to keep other people happy.
Anyone expecting it can take pity and go fuck themselves.
That;s a bit angry frank mate lol. I expect they would have to be rather extracted to actually work though. I mean, I don't think 'pity fucks' are really a thing in terms of just coming out of pure pity are they? Especially over he internet. There are plenty of ways you can offer sympathy for someone without shagging them when you don't really want to. You'd have to at least want to a bit I think. pt
Who's Frank?
I wouldn't know where the pity originates because as I said above it ain't happening ever.
Angry frank the HArry enfield character who shows anger over hypotheticals pt
It's not hypothetical though.
The question was asked if anyone had taken one for the team to keep someone happy.
My reply to that was no because I never have and never would, nor would I ever put someone in that situation.
People who take advantage of others for the sake of a fuck deserve my ire.
Does a pity fuck *always* have to be about taking advantage of people? Of course if it is about taking advantage I think everyone would agree that’s despicable behaviour.
Maybe my OP wasn’t clear enough - ie the other party was wanting / needing some sort of sexual intimacy (could be for a plethora of reasons) and despite a lack of sexual attraction you decided to “help them out”.
Or, alternatively, as a couple you meet another couple, you know your partner is *really* keen on their potential swap but you’re more ‘meh’ about it but do it anyway to please your other half .. not exactly “against your will” (that would be wholly wrong) but just going through the motions ..
"
Yes it's always about taking advantage.
They may be in need of a little loving but they are taking advantage of your good nature or how horny you are to fulfill that need.
Being in a situation where your partner is keen on the other party but you aren't so keen on your side of the deal also involves being taken advantage of if you go ahead with it.
If your communication with your own partner is so crap that they aren't aware you aren't keen that's bad enough.
If they are aware and expect you to carry on regardless just so they get to fuck the hottie that's definitely about taking advantage of a relationship and it's a shitty thing to do regardless of which half of the couple it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Never happened.
Never will happen.
I don't fuck for the sake of it.
I don't fuck to keep other people happy.
Anyone expecting it can take pity and go fuck themselves.
That;s a bit angry frank mate lol. I expect they would have to be rather extracted to actually work though. I mean, I don't think 'pity fucks' are really a thing in terms of just coming out of pure pity are they? Especially over he internet. There are plenty of ways you can offer sympathy for someone without shagging them when you don't really want to. You'd have to at least want to a bit I think. pt
Who's Frank?
I wouldn't know where the pity originates because as I said above it ain't happening ever.
Angry frank the HArry enfield character who shows anger over hypotheticals pt
It's not hypothetical though.
The question was asked if anyone had taken one for the team to keep someone happy.
My reply to that was no because I never have and never would, nor would I ever put someone in that situation.
People who take advantage of others for the sake of a fuck deserve my ire.
Does a pity fuck *always* have to be about taking advantage of people? Of course if it is about taking advantage I think everyone would agree that’s despicable behaviour.
Maybe my OP wasn’t clear enough - ie the other party was wanting / needing some sort of sexual intimacy (could be for a plethora of reasons) and despite a lack of sexual attraction you decided to “help them out”.
Or, alternatively, as a couple you meet another couple, you know your partner is *really* keen on their potential swap but you’re more ‘meh’ about it but do it anyway to please your other half .. not exactly “against your will” (that would be wholly wrong) but just going through the motions ..
Yes it's always about taking advantage.
They may be in need of a little loving but they are taking advantage of your good nature or how horny you are to fulfill that need.
Being in a situation where your partner is keen on the other party but you aren't so keen on your side of the deal also involves being taken advantage of if you go ahead with it.
If your communication with your own partner is so crap that they aren't aware you aren't keen that's bad enough.
If they are aware and expect you to carry on regardless just so they get to fuck the hottie that's definitely about taking advantage of a relationship and it's a shitty thing to do regardless of which half of the couple it is. "
I'm sure what you've said applies to some situations. Absolutely. But I had nothing to gain from having sex with the man I "took pity on". I wish I could erase it all. It made me ashamed. It was years ago and I still feel ashamed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Never happened.
Never will happen.
I don't fuck for the sake of it.
I don't fuck to keep other people happy.
Anyone expecting it can take pity and go fuck themselves.
That;s a bit angry frank mate lol. I expect they would have to be rather extracted to actually work though. I mean, I don't think 'pity fucks' are really a thing in terms of just coming out of pure pity are they? Especially over he internet. There are plenty of ways you can offer sympathy for someone without shagging them when you don't really want to. You'd have to at least want to a bit I think. pt
Who's Frank?
I wouldn't know where the pity originates because as I said above it ain't happening ever.
Angry frank the HArry enfield character who shows anger over hypotheticals pt
It's not hypothetical though.
The question was asked if anyone had taken one for the team to keep someone happy.
My reply to that was no because I never have and never would, nor would I ever put someone in that situation.
People who take advantage of others for the sake of a fuck deserve my ire.
Does a pity fuck *always* have to be about taking advantage of people? Of course if it is about taking advantage I think everyone would agree that’s despicable behaviour.
Maybe my OP wasn’t clear enough - ie the other party was wanting / needing some sort of sexual intimacy (could be for a plethora of reasons) and despite a lack of sexual attraction you decided to “help them out”.
Or, alternatively, as a couple you meet another couple, you know your partner is *really* keen on their potential swap but you’re more ‘meh’ about it but do it anyway to please your other half .. not exactly “against your will” (that would be wholly wrong) but just going through the motions ..
Yes it's always about taking advantage.
They may be in need of a little loving but they are taking advantage of your good nature or how horny you are to fulfill that need.
Being in a situation where your partner is keen on the other party but you aren't so keen on your side of the deal also involves being taken advantage of if you go ahead with it.
If your communication with your own partner is so crap that they aren't aware you aren't keen that's bad enough.
If they are aware and expect you to carry on regardless just so they get to fuck the hottie that's definitely about taking advantage of a relationship and it's a shitty thing to do regardless of which half of the couple it is. "
So your answer is no.
Fwiw while I respect and understand absolutely where you’re coming from, I think there could be a middle ground where you may feel empathetic to their needs without being lustful.
Indeed there are specialist therapists that help people with intimacy issues that do exactly that.
Is that exploitative / taking advantage? I guess it’s subjective.
Where is the line drawn? |
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"Never happened.
Never will happen.
I don't fuck for the sake of it.
I don't fuck to keep other people happy.
Anyone expecting it can take pity and go fuck themselves.
That;s a bit angry frank mate lol. I expect they would have to be rather extracted to actually work though. I mean, I don't think 'pity fucks' are really a thing in terms of just coming out of pure pity are they? Especially over he internet. There are plenty of ways you can offer sympathy for someone without shagging them when you don't really want to. You'd have to at least want to a bit I think. pt
Who's Frank?
I wouldn't know where the pity originates because as I said above it ain't happening ever.
Angry frank the HArry enfield character who shows anger over hypotheticals pt
It's not hypothetical though.
The question was asked if anyone had taken one for the team to keep someone happy.
My reply to that was no because I never have and never would, nor would I ever put someone in that situation.
People who take advantage of others for the sake of a fuck deserve my ire.
Does a pity fuck *always* have to be about taking advantage of people? Of course if it is about taking advantage I think everyone would agree that’s despicable behaviour.
Maybe my OP wasn’t clear enough - ie the other party was wanting / needing some sort of sexual intimacy (could be for a plethora of reasons) and despite a lack of sexual attraction you decided to “help them out”.
Or, alternatively, as a couple you meet another couple, you know your partner is *really* keen on their potential swap but you’re more ‘meh’ about it but do it anyway to please your other half .. not exactly “against your will” (that would be wholly wrong) but just going through the motions ..
Yes it's always about taking advantage.
They may be in need of a little loving but they are taking advantage of your good nature or how horny you are to fulfill that need.
Being in a situation where your partner is keen on the other party but you aren't so keen on your side of the deal also involves being taken advantage of if you go ahead with it.
If your communication with your own partner is so crap that they aren't aware you aren't keen that's bad enough.
If they are aware and expect you to carry on regardless just so they get to fuck the hottie that's definitely about taking advantage of a relationship and it's a shitty thing to do regardless of which half of the couple it is.
So your answer is no.
Fwiw while I respect and understand absolutely where you’re coming from, I think there could be a middle ground where you may feel empathetic to their needs without being lustful.
Indeed there are specialist therapists that help people with intimacy issues that do exactly that.
Is that exploitative / taking advantage? I guess it’s subjective.
Where is the line drawn? "
When I can't get it up because no matter how much they may want it I'm not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All my fucks have been pity fucks.
I give them a sob story and I get a fuck. They wouldn't do it otherwise
lol that's called fishing for compliments me thinks"
Nope, tongue in cheek!
Compliments by the bucket load on here and I don't believe a single one of them!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Never happened.
Never will happen.
I don't fuck for the sake of it.
I don't fuck to keep other people happy.
Anyone expecting it can take pity and go fuck themselves.
That;s a bit angry frank mate lol. I expect they would have to be rather extracted to actually work though. I mean, I don't think 'pity fucks' are really a thing in terms of just coming out of pure pity are they? Especially over he internet. There are plenty of ways you can offer sympathy for someone without shagging them when you don't really want to. You'd have to at least want to a bit I think. pt"
 ways of offering sympathy agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One thing is for sure...
A lot of people on the Fabs put a huge amount on pressure on other people to go through with things (I mean guilt-wise, not so much via pity unless they can play that card I guess). I actually find it quite dark at times.
If anyone on here changes their minds or for any reason doesn't want to do something... then surely...
Just don't do it!!!!
And don't ever worry about bailing out. It's Fab, Life happens!!!
People expect way too much from this site sometimes. When it works it's great, but you can't expect it to be clockwork ever imo.
I think I'm going add people who 'name and shame' to that list of "what you don't like about Fab!! That is such a warning sign for me.
I can't think of anything worse than a sexual meeting where both parties aren't into it. But honestly? Some people out there? That doesn't seem to bother them! It's actually a bit creepy when you think about it.
pt"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...
Or, alternatively, as a couple you meet another couple, you know your partner is *really* keen on their potential swap but you’re more ‘meh’ about it but do it anyway to please your other half .. not exactly “against your will” (that would be wholly wrong) but just going through the motions ..
"
Yes. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Never a pity fuck but in multiple couple, full swap, same room situations haven’t we all ? Because we want our partners to have fun and can see they would be disappointed if we didn’t join in It’s only swinging / sex.
Someone I care about having a good time in that situation is more Important and I’d expect them to want to do the same for me occasionally, but never under any pressure whatsoever, it’s a gift not an ask. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Never happened.
Never will happen.
I don't fuck for the sake of it.
I don't fuck to keep other people happy.
Anyone expecting it can take pity and go fuck themselves.
That;s a bit angry frank mate lol. I expect they would have to be rather extracted to actually work though. I mean, I don't think 'pity fucks' are really a thing in terms of just coming out of pure pity are they? Especially over he internet. There are plenty of ways you can offer sympathy for someone without shagging them when you don't really want to. You'd have to at least want to a bit I think. pt
Who's Frank?
I wouldn't know where the pity originates because as I said above it ain't happening ever.
Angry frank the HArry enfield character who shows anger over hypotheticals pt
It's not hypothetical though.
The question was asked if anyone had taken one for the team to keep someone happy.
My reply to that was no because I never have and never would, nor would I ever put someone in that situation.
People who take advantage of others for the sake of a fuck deserve my ire.
Does a pity fuck *always* have to be about taking advantage of people? Of course if it is about taking advantage I think everyone would agree that’s despicable behaviour.
Maybe my OP wasn’t clear enough - ie the other party was wanting / needing some sort of sexual intimacy (could be for a plethora of reasons) and despite a lack of sexual attraction you decided to “help them out”.
Or, alternatively, as a couple you meet another couple, you know your partner is *really* keen on their potential swap but you’re more ‘meh’ about it but do it anyway to please your other half .. not exactly “against your will” (that would be wholly wrong) but just going through the motions ..
"
Against their will.. That would be illegal surely Op |
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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
We’ve never taken one for the team. Passed up play with a couple who had an incredibly hot French girl but the guy couldn’t build a connection so it never happened.
Having said that surely In couple situations the attraction can be variable. If your partner finds a swap partner as a ‘wow’ but you think your swap partner is ‘ok’ is it going to happen? |
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I did on a weekend to Blackpool with my friends when in my 20s. I was feeling sorry for an ugly chubby guy. I ended up back at his. But to get a lift back to the hotel I had to do it all again in the morning sober. X |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I'm guessing most of the people on fab."
It was my experience in couples swinging , couples even joked and kept tally’s , but I also witnessed coercion and pushy men and worse , women clearly not wanting to even be there
You gotta be careful as a guy your sexual needs don't inadvertently create pressure. If you truly care about someone you wouldn’t |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I did on a weekend to Blackpool with my friends when in my 20s. I was feeling sorry for an ugly chubby guy. I ended up back at his. But to get a lift back to the hotel I had to do it all again in the morning sober. X"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe you just felt sorry for them rather than fancied them, or maybe your partner was *SO* up for that wife swapping that you went along with it just so they got their jollies as an act of love?
Anyone ever done that*?
Or is it an absolute no-no. A boundary that will NEVER be crossed?
I’m curious to know, Fabsters!
(* other than all the women that have clearly pity fucked me, obvs )"
As you say... SO NEVER op |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm guessing most of the people on fab.
I'd fuck her out of pity and desperation
F
I'm not quite that desperate just yet. "
Even I'm not that desperate  |
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"I did on a weekend to Blackpool with my friends when in my 20s. I was feeling sorry for an ugly chubby guy. I ended up back at his. But to get a lift back to the hotel I had to do it all again in the morning sober. X"
Those flaming chubby chasers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Never happened.
Never will happen.
I don't fuck for the sake of it.
I don't fuck to keep other people happy.
Anyone expecting it can take pity and go fuck themselves.
That;s a bit angry frank mate lol. I expect they would have to be rather extracted to actually work though. I mean, I don't think 'pity fucks' are really a thing in terms of just coming out of pure pity are they? Especially over he internet. There are plenty of ways you can offer sympathy for someone without shagging them when you don't really want to. You'd have to at least want to a bit I think. pt
Who's Frank?
I wouldn't know where the pity originates because as I said above it ain't happening ever.
Angry frank the HArry enfield character who shows anger over hypotheticals pt
It's not hypothetical though.
The question was asked if anyone had taken one for the team to keep someone happy.
My reply to that was no because I never have and never would, nor would I ever put someone in that situation.
People who take advantage of others for the sake of a fuck deserve my ire.
Does a pity fuck *always* have to be about taking advantage of people? Of course if it is about taking advantage I think everyone would agree that’s despicable behaviour.
Maybe my OP wasn’t clear enough - ie the other party was wanting / needing some sort of sexual intimacy (could be for a plethora of reasons) and despite a lack of sexual attraction you decided to “help them out”.
Or, alternatively, as a couple you meet another couple, you know your partner is *really* keen on their potential swap but you’re more ‘meh’ about it but do it anyway to please your other half .. not exactly “against your will” (that would be wholly wrong) but just going through the motions ..
Against their will.. That would be illegal surely Op"
Which is exactly why I clarified that WASN’T what was meant by this thread!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I did on a weekend to Blackpool with my friends when in my 20s. I was feeling sorry for an ugly chubby guy. I ended up back at his. But to get a lift back to the hotel I had to do it all again in the morning sober. X"
Did you tell that story at your wedding?  |
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I did a few years ago in a club scenario.
We were in a room with a couple and LVM was slowly progressing further with the female half. I did not want to make him feel left out as we were friends, so I took care of him, before eventually swapping back to our own partners, and just watching each other.
K
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