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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.
Is it possible to pick?
Tones |
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By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
How can you be accepted without being understood?
If I’m accepted but they don’t understand me, then it isn’t any acceptance I’d want.
But if I’m understood but not accepted, then we are just different people. Might feel sad but at least it’s real. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How can you be accepted without being understood?
If I’m accepted but they don’t understand me, then it isn’t any acceptance I’d want.
But if I’m understood but not accepted, then we are just different people. Might feel sad but at least it’s real. "
It's bothering me a bit too as I don't think I can pick. Came across this somewhere and was pondering by myself.
I do think it's possible though to accept someone without understanding them fully. I might not get what drives you but I accept your right to happiness and living your life as you please for example ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am greedy so going to go both
Unfortunately my nature and flaws means that I try to be accepted and understand in all aspects off life
Witch can be a flaw as when I not I beat myself up and gets me down |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?"
I can accept first and then given time, begin to understand. Does that make sense? I don’t need to understand someone to accept them.
Miles |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How can you be accepted without being understood?
………………
I do think it's possible though to accept someone without understanding them fully. I might not get what drives you but I accept your right to happiness and living your life as you please for example ? "
Precisely this. I may be curious as to why you are the way you are but I needn’t understand it to accept that you are the way you are.
Miles |
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"Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.
Is it possible to pick?
Tones "
No easy the easy answer
But more important question
Have reconsider working with seals
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I guess there superficial acceptance - basic niceness, dignity and so on - and then true acceptance, the sort that can only be given by someone who has taken the time to understand you."
That's a nice distinction Rose. The true acceptance based on the 'basic/credit' one we can work on being able to extent to most humans. It's not an instant thing. But could be ? Or it's not possible without knowing someone.. having commonalities perhaps helps. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I'm accepted without being understood, who have they really accepted? "
Good question.
Maybe they accepted a human without needing to know all about them to be able to give them the embrace of acceptance ? It's not conditioned that way ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How can you be accepted without being understood?
………………
I do think it's possible though to accept someone without understanding them fully. I might not get what drives you but I accept your right to happiness and living your life as you please for example ?
Precisely this. I may be curious as to why you are the way you are but I needn’t understand it to accept that you are the way you are.
Miles"
Snap indeed.
And we didn't even discuss this properly yet.  |
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"If I'm accepted without being understood, who have they really accepted?
Good question.
Maybe they accepted a human without needing to know all about them to be able to give them the embrace of acceptance ? It's not conditioned that way ?"
Oh, as in a blanket default setting? I like the idea of that. Damn, I wish I was like that! |
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"Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.
Is it possible to pick?
Tones "
Understood for sure, because I can't control acceptance whereas I can control understanding to some extent. Of course, I'd like to accepted too, but I don't want to spend even more time worrying about things outside my control! |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?"
To be fair it's possible. I don't need to understand to accept.
If somethibg is the way it is, I accept that. And I also accept I may never understand it.
That person is their own self, whatever that may be and I accept the for whatever it is they are or do.
For the most part kids accept without ever understanding each other. They don't need to. |
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"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?
To be fair it's possible. I don't need to understand to accept.
If somethibg is the way it is, I accept that. And I also accept I may never understand it.
That person is their own self, whatever that may be and I accept the for whatever it is they are or do.
For the most part kids accept without ever understanding each other. They don't need to. "
I guess I was taking it as social acceptance.
I 100% accept anybody doing them (so long as they're not hurting others in the process), but that doesn't mean I accept them into my social circle or direct life.
But the people I accept into my life in the way I interpreted the question, I need to understand at least a little before it can be any more than a polite surface acceptance of their existence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?
To be fair it's possible. I don't need to understand to accept.
If somethibg is the way it is, I accept that. And I also accept I may never understand it.
That person is their own self, whatever that may be and I accept the for whatever it is they are or do.
For the most part kids accept without ever understanding each other. They don't need to. "
  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.
Is it possible to pick?
Tones
Understood for sure, because I can't control acceptance whereas I can control understanding to some extent. Of course, I'd like to accepted too, but I don't want to spend even more time worrying about things outside my control! "
I didnt think about it that way. Thanks for adding to the thought mix. And everyone who contributed.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Luckily I've never needed to think about it, I'm that easy going and uncomplicated I don't think anyone would need to think about it. But I do think you need to except something before you can understand it, so would rather be excepted first |
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"How can you be accepted without being understood?
If I’m accepted but they don’t understand me, then it isn’t any acceptance I’d want.
But if I’m understood but not accepted, then we are just different people. Might feel sad but at least it’s real. "
Exactly this. |
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By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
"How can you be accepted without being understood?
If I’m accepted but they don’t understand me, then it isn’t any acceptance I’d want.
But if I’m understood but not accepted, then we are just different people. Might feel sad but at least it’s real.
It's bothering me a bit too as I don't think I can pick. Came across this somewhere and was pondering by myself.
I do think it's possible though to accept someone without understanding them fully. I might not get what drives you but I accept your right to happiness and living your life as you please for example ? "
Yeah…but the question was which was more important to *me*
It is nice being accepted and welcomed…that’s how the vast majority of circumstances roll (work, hobbies/clubs etc). But if I have to significantly compromise myself to fit in, I’m pretty unhappy. I’d rather not quite fit in but understand and feel happy in myself. Being accepted used to be far more important than it is now, mainly because I understand myself more and have a few people who deeply understand AND about me.
All still a huge work in progress, obviously! |
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By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
"Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.
Is it possible to pick?
Tones
Understood for sure, because I can't control acceptance whereas I can control understanding to some extent. Of course, I'd like to accepted too, but I don't want to spend even more time worrying about things outside my control! "
Absolutely this! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How can you be accepted without being understood?
If I’m accepted but they don’t understand me, then it isn’t any acceptance I’d want.
But if I’m understood but not accepted, then we are just different people. Might feel sad but at least it’s real.
It's bothering me a bit too as I don't think I can pick. Came across this somewhere and was pondering by myself.
I do think it's possible though to accept someone without understanding them fully. I might not get what drives you but I accept your right to happiness and living your life as you please for example ?
Yeah…but the question was which was more important to *me*
It is nice being accepted and welcomed…that’s how the vast majority of circumstances roll (work, hobbies/clubs etc). But if I have to significantly compromise myself to fit in, I’m pretty unhappy. I’d rather not quite fit in but understand and feel happy in myself. Being accepted used to be far more important than it is now, mainly because I understand myself more and have a few people who deeply understand AND about me.
All still a huge work in progress, obviously! "
Yes it was about your preference which prompted more questions from me and brainstorming out loud heh
I do get it. If you have to spend time pretending and shaping yourself to fit in... its effort and energy which you won't get back and could spend otherwise. Good for you on constant evolving. |
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"Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.
Is it possible to pick?
Tones "
I'm not fussed about either....
I want to be adored.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.
Is it possible to pick?
Tones
I'm not fussed about either....
I want to be adored.
Cal"
Awww. That made me smile
T |
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