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Monkey Escape From Paignton Zoo
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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago
Chelmsford |
Reports that a monkey escaped from the zoo in Paignton Zoo, home of the tennis player Sue Barker, but was safely recaptured. Lessons learned but it could of been a lion.
Time to close these zoos before somebody gets hurt. What's going on here? It's all over the news |
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"Sue Barker lives in Paignton Zoo.
Tom, as Mr News, this is certainly news to me!
I literally came here to question this?
I didn't even know the zoo had a tennis court? 
A"
The Zookeeper is called Annette  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Years ago a Gorilla escaped from the Zoo, a man found it up a tree in his garden.
He rang the Zoo to tell them and they sent the Gorilla catcher out, he turned up the house with a set of handcuffs a shotgun and a very nasty dog, the man asked how he planned to capture the Gorilla.
He said I’m going to climb the tree and shake it the Gorilla will fall from the tree, the dog will then bite his knackers when he does the gorilla will cross his arms across his chest.
When he does that you put the handcuffs on him, the man said ok but can you tell me what the shotgun is for.
The man replied if I fall from the tree shoot the dog.!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the zoo has a sexy lady behind the reception
I agree we close the zoo , I can take here with me and I help her giving her a good decent job .
Let the activists and naturalist deal with the other poor sad lifes in cages back to natural habitats
I can’t take them all , at list I take one n help her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Years ago a Gorilla escaped from the Zoo, a man found it up a tree in his garden.
He rang the Zoo to tell them and they sent the Gorilla catcher out, he turned up the house with a set of handcuffs a shotgun and a very nasty dog, the man asked how he planned to capture the Gorilla.
He said I’m going to climb the tree and shake it the Gorilla will fall from the tree, the dog will then bite his knackers when he does the gorilla will cross his arms across his chest.
When he does that you put the handcuffs on him, the man said ok but can you tell me what the shotgun is for.
The man replied if I fall from the tree shoot the dog.!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At one time we had the circus in town and 3 lions escaped. People were literally locked in the pubs until they were caught.
You can just imagine the wife with a rolling pin in hand saying 'what's your excuse this time for being late?'
 |
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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago
where the road goes on forever |
"Zoo news, a baby giraffe was born in Cleveland ? Without any spots
Apparently, they don't get spots till they reach their teens"
that's just what I read ,it didn't go into about them getting their spots in puberty |
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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago
Chelmsford |
"Years ago a Gorilla escaped from the Zoo, a man found it up a tree in his garden.
He rang the Zoo to tell them and they sent the Gorilla catcher out, he turned up the house with a set of handcuffs a shotgun and a very nasty dog, the man asked how he planned to capture the Gorilla.
He said I’m going to climb the tree and shake it the Gorilla will fall from the tree, the dog will then bite his knackers when he does the gorilla will cross his arms across his chest.
When he does that you put the handcuffs on him, the man said ok but can you tell me what the shotgun is for.
The man replied if I fall from the tree shoot the dog.!!"
You can say that again.. |
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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago
Chelmsford |
"At one time we had the circus in town and 3 lions escaped. People were literally locked in the pubs until they were caught.
You can just imagine the wife with a rolling pin in hand saying 'what's your excuse this time for being late?'
"
Is this true ? |
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Zookeeper goes into a pub with a giraffe.
Say's to the barman a pint and a shot for both of us can you please put a straw in Colin's so he can drink.
It's his birthday so keep them coming.
Ten pint's and shots later the giraffe passes out on the floor and the zookeeper goes to leave.
Barman shout's
"Oi you can't leave that lyin there"
Zookeeper
"It's not a lion it's a giraffe"
|
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"Reports that a monkey escaped from the zoo in Paignton Zoo"
Before it was recaptured, it had already balanced the local budget and organised the repair of all known potholes in the area.
When questioned, the monkey said: "They always said I could make a better job of it than those dickheads on the council". |
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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago
Chelmsford |
"Guys this is serious. It could of been a lion or a tiger or a rhino...
Escaping from the monkey enclosure? "
No. Escaping from the zoo and if that meant escaping by any means then anything is possible
Did you ever watch Colditz |
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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago
Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton, |
"Guys this is serious. It could of been a lion or a tiger or a rhino...
Escaping from the monkey enclosure?
No. Escaping from the zoo and if that meant escaping by any means then anything is possible
Did you ever watch Colditz"
Lions Tigers and Rhino's aren't diggers.I don't think they can forge staff ID cards,uniforms and just walk out.All three are extremely dangerous and extremely valuable in Chinese mumbo jumbo medicine(Rhino horn at least £30k),the security around these animal enclosures is incredibly tight and multi layered. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys this is serious. It could of been a lion or a tiger or a rhino...
Escaping from the monkey enclosure?
No. Escaping from the zoo and if that meant escaping by any means then anything is possible
Did you ever watch Colditz
Lions Tigers and Rhino's aren't diggers.I don't think they can forge staff ID cards,uniforms and just walk out.All three are extremely dangerous and extremely valuable in Chinese mumbo jumbo medicine(Rhino horn at least £30k),the security around these animal enclosures is incredibly tight and multi layered."
But if they form a choir and a gardening club, double the guard! |
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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago
Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton, |
"Guys this is serious. It could of been a lion or a tiger or a rhino...
Escaping from the monkey enclosure?
No. Escaping from the zoo and if that meant escaping by any means then anything is possible
Did you ever watch Colditz
Lions Tigers and Rhino's aren't diggers.I don't think they can forge staff ID cards,uniforms and just walk out.All three are extremely dangerous and extremely valuable in Chinese mumbo jumbo medicine(Rhino horn at least £30k),the security around these animal enclosures is incredibly tight and multi layered.
But if they form a choir and a gardening club, double the guard! "
Or start collecting toilet roll tubes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Guys this is serious. It could of been a lion or a tiger or a rhino...
Escaping from the monkey enclosure?
No. Escaping from the zoo and if that meant escaping by any means then anything is possible
Did you ever watch Colditz
Lions Tigers and Rhino's aren't diggers.I don't think they can forge staff ID cards,uniforms and just walk out.All three are extremely dangerous and extremely valuable in Chinese mumbo jumbo medicine(Rhino horn at least £30k),the security around these animal enclosures is incredibly tight and multi layered.
But if they form a choir and a gardening club, double the guard!
Or start collecting toilet roll tubes"
For you, my animal friends, ze vor is over |
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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago
Chelmsford |
"Guys this is serious. It could of been a lion or a tiger or a rhino...
Escaping from the monkey enclosure?
No. Escaping from the zoo and if that meant escaping by any means then anything is possible
Did you ever watch Colditz
Lions Tigers and Rhino's aren't diggers.I don't think they can forge staff ID cards,uniforms and just walk out.All three are extremely dangerous and extremely valuable in Chinese mumbo jumbo medicine(Rhino horn at least £30k),the security around these animal enclosures is incredibly tight and multi layered.
But if they form a choir and a gardening club, double the guard!
Or start collecting toilet roll tubes
For you, my animal friends, ze vor is over "
You are not grasping this Jennie.. |
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"Reports that a monkey escaped from the zoo in Paignton Zoo, home of the tennis player Sue Barker, but was safely recaptured. Lessons learned but it could of been a lion.
Time to close these zoos before somebody gets hurt. What's going on here? It's all over the news"
Is it a man eating monkey ? If not it’s boring news then |
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"Reports that a monkey escaped from the zoo in Paignton Zoo, home of the tennis player Sue Barker, but was safely recaptured. Lessons learned but it could of been a lion.
Time to close these zoos before somebody gets hurt. What's going on here? It's all over the news
Is it a man eating monkey ? If not it’s boring news then "
Thunder dome.
Man Vs Monkey.
Only one gets to leave. |
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By *unchalMan
over a year ago
Dartford |
"Reports that a monkey escaped from the zoo in Paignton Zoo, home of the tennis player Sue Barker, but was safely recaptured. Lessons learned but it could of been a lion.
Time to close these zoos before somebody gets hurt. What's going on here? It's all over the news"
I just realised. Does Sue Barker live in Paignton Zoo? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Reports that a monkey escaped from the zoo in Paignton Zoo, home of the tennis player Sue Barker, but was safely recaptured. Lessons learned but it could of been a lion.
Time to close these zoos before somebody gets hurt. What's going on here? It's all over the news
Is it a man eating monkey ? If not it’s boring news then
Thunder dome.
Man Vs Monkey.
Only one gets to leave."
Two primates enter, one primate leaves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Reports that a monkey escaped from the zoo in Paignton Zoo, home of the tennis player Sue Barker, but was safely recaptured. Lessons learned but it could of been a lion.
Time to close these zoos before somebody gets hurt. What's going on here? It's all over the news
I just realised. Does Sue Barker live in Paignton Zoo?"
Tom knows his stuff.
If he says she does then she does |
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"Lucky for the monkey that the zoo wasn't in Hartlepool
Very good velvety.. you are on a roll this week "
Well somebody needs to give the self-righteous, kill joy mood hoovers of the forum something to whinge about |
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