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The Highs and Lows
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do the highs of Fab outweigh the lows and how do you determine whether you've had enough lows to leave the site?
Is it a a build up, or just one swift action and what would say the ratio of highs to lows are that keep you here?
A few questions to ponder but interested in hearing people's thoughts. |
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We feel it's the highs and lows of our personal life that determine our swinging life rather than Fab, if you get what we mean.
Life can take over, such as work/children pressures, worries and stress which then will have a knock on-effect on how active we are with swinging.
Sometimes we just really aren't interested then other times we want to get out there and swing until our hearts (fanny/cock) are content.
Hope that makes some sort of sense.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do the highs of Fab outweigh the lows and how do you determine whether you've had enough lows to leave the site?
Is it a a build up, or just one swift action and what would say the ratio of highs to lows are that keep you here?
A few questions to ponder but interested in hearing people's thoughts."
Ah Joe, what's up?
If I weighed them up, the lows would win.
I leave now and again, usually on a whim when I've just had enough.
I always come back because theres a small part of me (very small) that hopes I'll find another him. Or maybe him again.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That's a lot of questions Mr 
My brain is too tired to process but when I'm done, I'm done. Could be a build up or just me being grumpy but then I'm off. "
Sorry, I know it's late and would've done it tomorrow but didn't want to lose the way I wanted to word it.
That's fair enough, I suppose it's personal to the individual. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We feel it's the highs and lows of our personal life that determine our swinging life rather than Fab, if you get what we mean.
Life can take over, such as work/children pressures, worries and stress which then will have a knock on-effect on how active we are with swinging.
Sometimes we just really aren't interested then other times we want to get out there and swing until our hearts (fanny/cock) are content.
Hope that makes some sort of sense.
"
That makes a lot of sense. So you're essentially letting your personal life dictate how you feel about swinging as opposed to the other way around. Have you ever felt the opposite where something on Fab has got you done and it's affected your personal life? |
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"That's a lot of questions Mr
My brain is too tired to process but when I'm done, I'm done. Could be a build up or just me being grumpy but then I'm off.
I'll be Grumpy with you today  "
Promises promises  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it feels right to, take a break, hide your profile and don't login for a while and forget about it. Eventually it'll probably feel right to come back. We all have ups and downs on here  |
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"That's a lot of questions Mr
My brain is too tired to process but when I'm done, I'm done. Could be a build up or just me being grumpy but then I'm off.
Sorry, I know it's late and would've done it tomorrow but didn't want to lose the way I wanted to word it.
That's fair enough, I suppose it's personal to the individual."
No need to apologise, its just been a long day. Hope you're okay xx |
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Never really had any lows on here.
Made good friends for life from the site,still have socials with them even though left here.
I enjoy popping on having a perv,going on cam & spreading wisdom I. The forums  |
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I hope things are okay for you JoeyBeans
Fab is what it is. I'm in a fairly privileged position where I'm not even remotely invested in meeting someone who means something through here, it's entirely just an absolute bonus when it happens. So it's easier for me to laugh off the dickheads and crack on than it is for the majority.
But if it feels like it's bringing you down, or you just don't have the spoons for it, take a little break. And if some time away makes you realise this place really is hitting you negatively, see if you can find other means to contact friends you've made here and go do other things instead |
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Jo, you can't leave! You know my thoughts on your sandles pic.  . I like seeing what your come up with next.
We as a couple would never leave. It's taken years building our profile, pics and veris. Too much hard work getting it back. |
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"Do the highs of Fab outweigh the lows and how do you determine whether you've had enough lows to leave the site?
Is it a a build up, or just one swift action and what would say the ratio of highs to lows are that keep you here?
A few questions to ponder but interested in hearing people's thoughts."
I really don't know the answer and think it's different for different people, but wanted to say that this doesn't sound like the Joe I saw last weekend so hoping whatever is going on, you are okay? PMs open if you want to chat. |
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The highs make it easier to ride out the lows, and the lows usually turn into a funny story (well, most of them) so that often makes it more bearable.
And now I can't remember the rest of the question...
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"That's a lot of questions Mr
My brain is too tired to process but when I'm done, I'm done. Could be a build up or just me being grumpy but then I'm off.
I'll be Grumpy with you today
Promises promises "
One day soon  |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
If I leave it may be a single incident but likely there's been a thousand cuts before that. I'm not as invested as I was a month ago. That's a combination of personal factors and boredom with the forum. Now and then someone may appear that takes my interest. That may or may not go anywhere but that's not my expectation.
I can say with some certainty it's when, not if that I dip out. I hope that answers some of your queries |
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I'm in agreement with Northern Stars. Personal life dictates how we use Fab.
Think if you're feeling there are too many lows, take a break do something you enjoy. Fab will still be here when you're in the right mindset for it again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ah Joe, what's up?
If I weighed them up, the lows would win.
I leave now and again, usually on a whim when I've just had enough.
I always come back because theres a small part of me (very small) that hopes I'll find another him. Or maybe him again.
"
I suppose that's the thing about this place and maybe other dating sites as well. You can go in knowing the majority might not be for you or you for them but the hope keeps you thinking the one person or meet would be worth the low points you had to go through |
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"We feel it's the highs and lows of our personal life that determine our swinging life rather than Fab, if you get what we mean.
Life can take over, such as work/children pressures, worries and stress which then will have a knock on-effect on how active we are with swinging.
Sometimes we just really aren't interested then other times we want to get out there and swing until our hearts (fanny/cock) are content.
Hope that makes some sort of sense.
That makes a lot of sense. So you're essentially letting your personal life dictate how you feel about swinging as opposed to the other way around. Have you ever felt the opposite where something on Fab has got you done and it's affected your personal life?"
No not really. I think that could be because we are a couple though I imagine if I was single, then I do think things on Fab/in swinging life could get to me and very much affect me.
I do understand why people take a break from here at times.
Ruby |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If it feels right to, take a break, hide your profile and don't login for a while and forget about it. Eventually it'll probably feel right to come back. We all have ups and downs on here "
I suppose the temptation is always there though which is why I mentioned a clean break as opposed to just hiding but can see why it would help if it is a feeling that just passes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That's a lot of questions Mr
My brain is too tired to process but when I'm done, I'm done. Could be a build up or just me being grumpy but then I'm off.
Sorry, I know it's late and would've done it tomorrow but didn't want to lose the way I wanted to word it.
That's fair enough, I suppose it's personal to the individual.
No need to apologise, its just been a long day. Hope you're okay xx"
I'm fine thanks, just have the mentality now of "well at least nothing on here will kill me" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Never really had any lows on here.
Made good friends for life from the site,still have socials with them even though left here.
I enjoy popping on having a perv,going on cam & spreading wisdom I. The forums "
I'm glad you're able to focus on the positives and it sounds like you've found what makes you happy on this site and stuck to it! |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I think the moment you let fab life influence your highs and lows it’s time to come off. It should be a fun addition to the main event - real life.
I think if you hope for anything more it will make you unhappy |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Firstly it depends on your/our use of fab. I've found some wonderful people past and present with interactions that have made all of the lows bearable at the least.
I stick around and interact on here. See where things go and if connections are made. I take breaks, just walk away for a while. I went full self destruct on a previous profile years ago and regret that. The start over is a nightmare.
The grumpy twat does not concern themselves with the opinions of the masses.
Don't let what others do bother you to bring you down, only those that "care" should hold any weight. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Fab is only a tiny part of my life. My life outside of here takes priority over fab all the time.
I've been extremely lucky in meeting an amazing Fwb who is much more than that label he is a true friend as well,so yes I suppose that's my high point off here. The lows as such don't really matter to me and I don't let them get to me either. If I feel myself getting peeved off on here I just take a break for a bit. I've never deleted my profile but I know if I do then I won't be back on here.
I'm not a swinger and never claimed to be, in saying that I've met some great people over the years and the odd gobshite as well unfortunately.But the good have far out weighed the bad.
Don't let fab get to OP take a break if you do find it's getting to you and come back when you are feeling more positive,and remember fab is just fab at the end of the day it's not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab isn't real life for me.
Sure I've met people and really connected with them in those moments but I know ultimately those moments are just that. Reality takes over and is always the priority.
It can be tricky to navigate feelings and emotions when you start to build up a relationship with someone, intimacy, closeness and chemistry are addictive and craving more of those feelings is perfectly natural. Then you might sometimes experience a crash back to reality. That can leave you questioning so many things in so many ways.
I suppose what I'm getting at is that highs and lows come on here, especially when you're single or doing this solo.
Be kind to yourself. X
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hope things are okay for you JoeyBeans
Fab is what it is. I'm in a fairly privileged position where I'm not even remotely invested in meeting someone who means something through here, it's entirely just an absolute bonus when it happens. So it's easier for me to laugh off the dickheads and crack on than it is for the majority.
But if it feels like it's bringing you down, or you just don't have the spoons for it, take a little break. And if some time away makes you realise this place really is hitting you negatively, see if you can find other means to contact friends you've made here and go do other things instead "
Thank you and I really do appreciate the advice! It sounds like you've got the right idea in not being overly invested in who you meet on here which is probably the best way to keep it fun. I'm sure this will pass but always good food for thought if it doesn't happen. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Jo, you can't leave! You know my thoughts on your sandles pic. . I like seeing what your come up with next.
We as a couple would never leave. It's taken years building our profile, pics and veris. Too much hard work getting it back. "
Awww thank you lovely and that makes a lot of sense. It is a lot of time built up into a profile and I suppose for a couple, it has to be a joint decision that benefits you both. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be a mixture for me. Sometimes being open about my mh issues makes me think it will put people off wanting to meet me.
And seeing some of the posts makes me think many are having great success and there is a fear of missing out.
But have some people here like chatting to even if won't meet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I really don't know the answer and think it's different for different people, but wanted to say that this doesn't sound like the Joe I saw last weekend so hoping whatever is going on, you are okay? PMs open if you want to chat. "
I appreciate that MrsKC, I guess it's more of an interest into the threshold others may have when it comes to An AMD how negative feelings can them. But thank you for the offer |
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I don't get lows with the site.
I don't waste my time perusing women on here and I think that's where a lot of guys go wrong and find themselves feeling a bit low.
For me I just upload my vids/pics, chat on the forums.
I rarely seek people out and just let them come to me.
I've blocked single guys from messaging me so I no longer have a barrage of "hey hows u" in my inbox.
If I do happen to meet someone and we click, well that's just luck really. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Do the highs of Fab outweigh the lows and how do you determine whether you've had enough lows to leave the site?
Is it a a build up, or just one swift action and what would say the ratio of highs to lows are that keep you here?
A few questions to ponder but interested in hearing people's thoughts."
Logic would say the lows massively outweigh the highs for me right now.
But that would be basing 15 years on just one thing. Which would be wrong.
I found complete happiness once, so why would that be impossible again?
If I gave up because of recent events then I'd be closing the door on potential new opportunities, which would be a waste.
So highs and lows aside, I'm staying, I'm open to new experiences and I've already met and interacted online with some lovely new people.
Keep an open mind Joe. You never know what's around the corner. ??
A |
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There's more highs for me than lows but maybe that's because I try and look at the positives and the good in people I'm trying to connect with. I suppose if things were getting on top of me (not in the biblical sense) I'd hide my profile, take a step back and give my head a wobble |
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This has never been a lifestyle choice for me at any stage.
I've always seen fab as a hobby and have never been totally invested in it.
It hasn't all been smooth sailing and I have left for various reasons and returned. This is my 4th profile in 7 years.
My reasons for getting fed up or losing what little interest I have is down to other peoples drama and shitty behaviour that I want no part of.
I've become more cynical the longer I've been here but I haven't really experienced what could be classed as lows because my level of expectation has always been measured.
I have been very lucky to meet someone I class as a true friend who has already commented on this thread and the sex is just an added bonus.
That would certainly come under the heading of a fab high.
That cynicism I mentioned above however has allowed me to see the lengths that some are prepared to go to in the name of attention or popularity.
For many it has nothing to do with swinging or sex and everything to do with grown adults acting like little schoolkids.
There is so much lip service offered here that you need to have your eyes wide open at all times and be aware that not everything said either publicly or privately on here should be taken too seriously.
I've no idea what is going on in your world op but I have seen too many good friends leave fab based on the shallow expectations of others and you don't strike me as the type of person who bruises easily. |
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The highs are high, and the lows are low, although I will say the site I find pretty middle of the road.
Don't take it too seriously and don't use it as your only way to play, as a single guy you can be on here a while alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Too many lows and that's why I've left previously. I think the site doesn't work well for some people - if you don't have a thick skin or you find the shallowness gets to you. The private conversations (and meets if you have them) are what make the difference. |
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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
Hope you’re ok Joe
I’m a bit like Compy and mostly here for the socials. I very rarely meet new people now and in the last nine month I’ve met three new people two who I’ve met up with more than once and will again. The highs are the people I meet and the experiences we have together whether that be at socials or more intimate
So going on the last nine month the highs have definitely outweighed the lows |
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