FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Message them or wait to be messaged
Message them or wait to be messaged
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on the profile I think, if they state that they want messages then I’ll do that but.. I will normally send a wink and if they reciprocate I will then message.. that way, I find less wasted time sending messages if people aren’t interested!
But I am not having a lot of luck so maybe my approach is wrong haha |
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"Depends on the profile I think, if they state that they want messages then I’ll do that but.. I will normally send a wink and if they reciprocate I will then message.. that way, I find less wasted time sending messages if people aren’t interested!
But I am not having a lot of luck so maybe my approach is wrong haha"
Some people never look at winks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend not to look at winks
So best to message them and then delete the sent message that way you don’t know what they did with it
If they message back then it’s a plus if not you tryed your shot on to the next
Best to try than not to best not to go though life thinking someone a no when they a yes but both are to sacred to take that first step |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What in your opinion is better"
If everyone just sat around waiting for messages, no-one would ever meet.
Decide who you're looking for, do a search, send messages, chat, arrange a meet, tick off that fantasy, start again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on the profile I think, if they state that they want messages then I’ll do that but.. I will normally send a wink and if they reciprocate I will then message.. that way, I find less wasted time sending messages if people aren’t interested!
But I am not having a lot of luck so maybe my approach is wrong haha
Some people never look at winks. "
Oh no! I need to change my approach then haha |
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"What in your opinion is better
If everyone just sat around waiting for messages, no-one would ever meet.
Decide who you're looking for, do a search, send messages, chat, arrange a meet, tick off that fantasy, start again. "
Ooooh, new photo. Nice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I'm sure they are for me I'll message first. If I'm unsure based on their profile then I prefer they message me, that message will confirm either way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes. Ive used 'them' since i was a kid just as a general term for someone i dont know their name and it's stuck. I also have a compelling need to overexplain lol |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Mostly I wait for them to message me, couples and single ladies have enough messages to go through already "
Kind of this. Of course there are always exceptions. Sometimes I'll have moments of "eh fuck it" and try my luck. But generally it's just as likely they will message me than I will have my message seen.
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"Mostly I wait for them to message me, couples and single ladies have enough messages to go through already
Kind of this. Of course there are always exceptions. Sometimes I'll have moments of "eh fuck it" and try my luck. But generally it's just as likely they will message me than I will have my message seen.
"
I'm going through a phase of being winked and sending a message to them, it's read and then nothing back  |
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The last first contact message I sent on here was in January 2020.
Every conversation since has been started by someone contacting me.
It's really down to what you want from the site.
I haven't met anyone new in those 3 years and for the last 18 months haven't had the energy or inclination to even discuss meeting so if I was inclined to message it would be a bit pointless right now.
I can count on one hand the number of messages I've received so far this year but I'm ok with that and I'll happily chat with anyone who says hello.
I've always been patient and used this site as a hobby more than a lifestyle choice so lots of winks and messages has never been my thing. |
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In my experience I don't term it as "waiting". I'm not sitting there with the tenterhooks of anticipation.
I rarely message. Most, if not all, of my meets over the last 2½ years have been on the back of women messaging me... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I message 
I’d message but out of age range! Damn shame
Haha anyone can message ….. I chat to anyone if there profile is appealing "
Haha fab won’t let me! But feel free to send one my way if it catches your eye! |
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"Mostly I wait for them to message me, couples and single ladies have enough messages to go through already
Hahahaha. Not all single women!"
You scare most of them from trying, even though you're completely welcoming and not at all standoffish |
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"I message, mostly coz I've stopped them messaging me
Just wow… sent a wink, but fab stopped me haha"
Does it stop those too... gosh!
Tbh I really enjoy Fab so much more without all the noise and screaming demands of a yellow inbox.
(Almost) wink noted, have a fab day x |
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Why wait? Unless we’ve literally got no time to meet even for a social then we’d message.
Could wait for ages waiting on a message. Plus with messaging you already know there’s an attraction, so that’s better than 98% of your inbox
K |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Why wait? Unless we’ve literally got no time to meet even for a social then we’d message.
Could wait for ages waiting on a message. Plus with messaging you already know there’s an attraction, so that’s better than 98% of your inbox
K"
omg please tell me he wasn't cooking his sausage on the BBQ  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shy kids don't get sweets."
This.
I tend not to message right away, but usually because I'm trying to come up with a decent opening message rather than the usual drivel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Message first.. but then have patience.
Dont go all Stan with progressively more aggressive messages until they either reply or block you."
This I've had to delete people who I would have otherwise been interested in because of sending more messages. Having no patience to wait for a reply is a red flag. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only message fellow forumites to say hi, or comment. If that turns into meets then that's fantastic.
I've found in the past, guys I've contacted haven't really gone anywhere. I think even on here guys like the chace! |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"'Them' ? As in people you are interested in ?
Love it when I receive the first message from a lady. It show a lot of confidence and well it’s a massive turn on. "
a message is a turn on or its a turn on because it boosts your ego? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will message first, because if I see a person that interests me, I have nothing to loose by sending a message. I know there may only be a 1% chance that they'll be interested in me but if I don't send a message then that's zero chance. However, I do like to receive messages from people who are interested in me. |
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"I will message first, because if I see a person that interests me, I have nothing to loose by sending a message. I know there may only be a 1% chance that they'll be interested in me but if I don't send a message then that's zero chance. However, I do like to receive messages from people who are interested in me."
I can see someone's inbox getting very full right now .
A blind man would be interested in you he feel the heat that you radiate.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will message first, because if I see a person that interests me, I have nothing to loose by sending a message. I know there may only be a 1% chance that they'll be interested in me but if I don't send a message then that's zero chance. However, I do like to receive messages from people who are interested in me.
I recall us starting a conversation a couple if years ago.  "
Yes indeed we did. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will message first, because if I see a person that interests me, I have nothing to loose by sending a message. I know there may only be a 1% chance that they'll be interested in me but if I don't send a message then that's zero chance. However, I do like to receive messages from people who are interested in me.
I can see someone's inbox getting very full right now .
A blind man would be interested in you he feel the heat that you radiate.
"
It's not often I receive messages maybe half a dozen a week, tops. But that's kind of you to say. |
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I tend to message a profile that I am interested in first and express my interest, if they reciprocate all the better.
If I don't receive a response to my message that is perfectly ok.
I have no expectations from being on fab, if a meet happens all well and good, if not there's no harm done.
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"What in your opinion is better"
I've opted that couples should make the move most of the time.
I might send a message, yet too many needy men craving and in sexual distress, I'm just chilling.
When the offer comes up, which for sure reduces the scope, I'm feeling very comfortable standing aligned.
Usually ends up in lovely encounters, and brings a lot of emotional safety, which in terms, brings sensuality and what they like and I like as a match.
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"Mostly I wait for them to message me, couples and single ladies have enough messages to go through already
Hahahaha. Not all single women!"
Well i must admit your profile hits with a unique sense of Humour, that with a tad of adhd in the bloodstream for wits people don't get  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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It depends on my mood. I have no qualms messaging people first. Starting conversations etc. It depends on how I'm feeling. Some of my favourite people in my life are as a result of me messaging them first.
It's a tricky one because I like when people make an effort with me. I like when people message me first because the majority of the time I'm the one who plans things, who takes the lead etc.
It's nice when I can erm... to use a very woo-woo term... lean into my feminine energy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What in your opinion is better"
Never had a Lady/Couple message me first (unless in response to a Forum Game).. I'd sent a few Winks out but then read on Several Threads about Winks being ignored so now I try and make Relevant comments based on the Profile and send a couple out a week |
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We used to wink and if we got a wink back we would send a message, now we’ve started to just send the first message as we have nothing to loose considering we hardly get any replies, more often than not we see the messages just stays unread but that doesn’t put us off from sending them.
More than happy to receive the first message from people who are interested and we will always reply even if it’s to say no thank you.
Kink (female) |
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"It depends on my mood. I have no qualms messaging people first. Starting conversations etc. It depends on how I'm feeling. Some of my favourite people in my life are as a result of me messaging them first.
It's a tricky one because I like when people make an effort with me. I like when people message me first because the majority of the time I'm the one who plans things, who takes the lead etc.
It's nice when I can erm... to use a very woo-woo term... lean into my feminine energy. "
Twit twoo to you
Lady of grace with smile on her face
Who lights up a room
And the words that you say
Soon give away how
Interesting you are too. |
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
I have never been messaged first on here from a couple or female. Unless if about forum posts. So yes I send winks and sometimes a message at same time. Yes know get profile views. Never sure how many , some in stealth mode so do not see. If I did not message or wink then message box would never light up  |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Wait....and wait......and wait and wait a bit longer, patience is the key 
Trust me I know, literally waited years "
lol awww hey the best way is in a pub or a club but I'm sure you know that |
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