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Non drinkers and being social
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am one of the rare Irish breed who rarely drinks and has never been d*unk. It was just something that never took my fancy. The rare occasions of thinking about getting d*unk are usually associated with dark thoughts.
It was never really an issue for me but it seemed to be for others. I know there were occasions I would not be asked out as people were afraid I would remember every stupid thing they did or said or they were afraid I was looking down my nose at them.
I have no problem being around people who drink (most of my friends do) but usually means I won't stay out for long. I can't afford rounds and there is only do many soft drinks I can have in a night.
Sometimes I wonder if it affects me socially in other ways as can find it awkward being in a pub when people are d*unk and loud. I know they are just enjoying themselves but it seems to put me off. Maybe there is a slight bit of jealousy as well as to how easy it is for them to enjoy themselves.
Of course if I could drive people would be happier as I could be the designated driver.
Do other non drinkers find this? |
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Yeah, it's an issue for me as well, and I strongly dislike that kind of socialising whether I've had alcohol or not (I've gone strongly off alcohol in the last few years).
I'm not looking down my nose - and the pressure I get would seem to indicate that people are looking down their nose at me. I'm not drinking lemonade *at* people, I'm just being with people with a glass of lemonade.
My solution is to stop going to any events where that kind of pressure might be put on, and only hang out with people who won't pressure me like that. I'm much happier for it. |
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I don’t usually drink alcohol but I found myself on a few occasions I relied on alcohol to calm my anxiety down when attending big socials.
It didn’t end up well, that’s all I’m going to say.
Recently I’ve had the best time ever when meeting new people and that’s because I was sober. |
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I've never once tasted alcohol not even out of curiosity.
I could never see the attraction.
I was always the nominated driver and spent my weekends digging my friends out of tricky situations and always being the last one home after delivering them all safely.
Despite that some of those friends told me I wasn't a real man if I didn't drink. My response was that it took a bigger man to not drink.
I've been told by an American woman in Florida and an Englishman on a training course that I wasn't a proper Irishman if I didn't drink and it wasn't too late to start.
Most of my work colleagues over the years have respected my choice and would never allow me contribute to the kitty on staff nights out.
I don't have an issue with anyone drinking but I do have issues with anyone telling me I'm wrong for not.
In regards to being social it depends on your definition of social.
I've had people tell me they had amazing nights out with their friends and colleagues while all I saw was them lying in a pool of vomit somewhere after a night of trying to be the loudest one in the room.
To me that's not being social. |
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I will have one drink if out for a meal but that's it . I not against drinking just lived with someone with a drink problem more they drank less I wanted to drink. Went on holiday few weeks ago added it up when got home I had 2 drinks in 10days
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You shouldn't worry too much about it, in fact you can use it as a means of developing a persona without it being seen as a bad thing. People can see you as a straight edged guy, confident in knowing what he likes and doesn't like, cultivating that can be to your benefit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am one of the rare Irish breed who rarely drinks and has never been d*unk. It was just something that never took my fancy. The rare occasions of thinking about getting d*unk are usually associated with dark thoughts.
It was never really an issue for me but it seemed to be for others. I know there were occasions I would not be asked out as people were afraid I would remember every stupid thing they did or said or they were afraid I was looking down my nose at them.
I have no problem being around people who drink (most of my friends do) but usually means I won't stay out for long. I can't afford rounds and there is only do many soft drinks I can have in a night.
Sometimes I wonder if it affects me socially in other ways as can find it awkward being in a pub when people are d*unk and loud. I know they are just enjoying themselves but it seems to put me off. Maybe there is a slight bit of jealousy as well as to how easy it is for them to enjoy themselves.
Of course if I could drive people would be happier as I could be the designated driver.
Do other non drinkers find this? "
Please don't only want to drive so that you can please your "friends" if you all have other things in common that you can do together then great but if not I think you may be trying to vibe with the wrong tribe. I enjoy wine with food and I'll consume a bottle sometimes two most weekends but people who just live to go to the pub at the weekend don't interest me anymore, I usually have my wine in the garden having a BBQ or in the spa with my partner or out camping etc I wouldn't be interested in those kind of settings anymore and I wonder if maybe you have some other interests that you could be indulging rather than trying to ensure d*unk people? Also if you do want to join in a social event there's a drink called social elixir that looks like a bottle of alcohol but it's actually a really healthy herbal drink  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never felt judged for not drinking alcohol and never felt pressured to by any of my friends or work colleagues and I've still had great nights out with them.
Of course, they've asked why and if I've ever felt tempted but they've always respected my choice and to start with, they would never let me buy rounds even though they would, I clouding my own. So I've told them they can buy rounds for themselves and I can buy my own drinks and it's completely fine  |
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"I am one of the rare Irish breed who rarely drinks and has never been d*unk. It was just something that never took my fancy. The rare occasions of thinking about getting d*unk are usually associated with dark thoughts.
It was never really an issue for me but it seemed to be for others. I know there were occasions I would not be asked out as people were afraid I would remember every stupid thing they did or said or they were afraid I was looking down my nose at them.
I have no problem being around people who drink (most of my friends do) but usually means I won't stay out for long. I can't afford rounds and there is only do many soft drinks I can have in a night.
Sometimes I wonder if it affects me socially in other ways as can find it awkward being in a pub when people are d*unk and loud. I know they are just enjoying themselves but it seems to put me off. Maybe there is a slight bit of jealousy as well as to how easy it is for them to enjoy themselves.
Of course if I could drive people would be happier as I could be the designated driver.
Do other non drinkers find this? "
I'm sober, and do not find it limiting in any way shape or form, but then I don't allow it to be, just because I do not drink, doesn't mean there arecthings I cannot do...I just do them sober and straight, bonus no hangover in the morning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve been pressured before to drink. I’m not a huge drinker, maybe a few drinks a few times a year? I just say I don’t need alcohol to have fun and if other people do then that’s on them  |
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"I’ve been pressured before to drink. I’m not a huge drinker, maybe a few drinks a few times a year? I just say I don’t need alcohol to have fun and if other people do then that’s on them "
Get the drinks in |
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"I am one of the rare Irish breed who rarely drinks and has never been d*unk. It was just something that never took my fancy. The rare occasions of thinking about getting d*unk are usually associated with dark thoughts.
It was never really an issue for me but it seemed to be for others. I know there were occasions I would not be asked out as people were afraid I would remember every stupid thing they did or said or they were afraid I was looking down my nose at them.
I have no problem being around people who drink (most of my friends do) but usually means I won't stay out for long. I can't afford rounds and there is only do many soft drinks I can have in a night.
Sometimes I wonder if it affects me socially in other ways as can find it awkward being in a pub when people are d*unk and loud. I know they are just enjoying themselves but it seems to put me off. Maybe there is a slight bit of jealousy as well as to how easy it is for them to enjoy themselves.
Of course if I could drive people would be happier as I could be the designated driver.
Do other non drinkers find this? "
You are one of the dangerous ones lol.
Had a workmate was the same, had a drink once in a blue moon. However he wqs stone cold sober on nights out, he would wind people up by convincing them, that they did something they never did. But were too d*unk to remember. |
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Pubs are not pleasant even for drinkers when people have had a skinful O.P.
It's them not you.
You are the one surrounded by unpredictable people who can't stand up properly and who laugh overly loud at nothing ......
Why would it be you? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am one of the rare Irish breed who rarely drinks and has never been d*unk. It was just something that never took my fancy. The rare occasions of thinking about getting d*unk are usually associated with dark thoughts.
It was never really an issue for me but it seemed to be for others. I know there were occasions I would not be asked out as people were afraid I would remember every stupid thing they did or said or they were afraid I was looking down my nose at them.
I have no problem being around people who drink (most of my friends do) but usually means I won't stay out for long. I can't afford rounds and there is only do many soft drinks I can have in a night.
Sometimes I wonder if it affects me socially in other ways as can find it awkward being in a pub when people are d*unk and loud. I know they are just enjoying themselves but it seems to put me off. Maybe there is a slight bit of jealousy as well as to how easy it is for them to enjoy themselves.
Of course if I could drive people would be happier as I could be the designated driver.
Do other non drinkers find this?
You are one of the dangerous ones lol.
Had a workmate was the same, had a drink once in a blue moon. However he wqs stone cold sober on nights out, he would wind people up by convincing them, that they did something they never did. But were too d*unk to remember."
I was not that evil lol. But another reason for not drinking round workmates was fear of telling some what really thought of them and was afraid of outing myself |
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