FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Breadcrumbing pt 2....
Breadcrumbing pt 2....
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We gonna fuck or not? Nope? See ya later.
Do you not think that might be misconstrued as being somewhat forward by an anally retentive no intentions of getting laid breadcrumber ?"
Probably but it should get a response, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"What’s breadcrumbing??
act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort."
So basically not following their weird & needy expectations about how you should get to know them ?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s breadcrumbing??
act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort.
So basically not following their weird & needy expectations about how you should get to know them ?
"
Strange perception |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"What’s breadcrumbing??
act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort.
So basically not following their weird & needy expectations about how you should get to know them ?
Strange perception "
Why strange? Is there a rule book to follow ? Not everyone is full on , sometimes you go slowly and carefully |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
""I feel our conversation has become more intermittent. Should we meet, or is it a sign this isn't going anywhere?""
Yep this. Just directly say it. Rip the plaster off.
Obviously OP we don't know your conversations but I think if you feel/worry you're being breadcrumbed? It's not a good sign.
People have lives, they don't always reply when we would like them to. That aside, you can tell when someone is keeping you around because they're actually interested in you or keeping you around because they like the thought of you or the attention you give them. I don't think anyone deserves the latter, not when there are people out there who genuinely do want to spend time with you.
Best of luck OP! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s breadcrumbing??
act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort.
So basically not following their weird & needy expectations about how you should get to know them ?
"
If people aren't interested then they should say so instead of making out they are.. ffs ... it's a form of gameplaying... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s breadcrumbing??
act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort.
So basically not following their weird & needy expectations about how you should get to know them ?
If people aren't interested then they should say so instead of making out they are.. ffs ... it's a form of gameplaying..."
In some cases the 'breadcrumber' as they are percieved by the other isn't doing things deliberately but lacks the experience / skills / know how to ward off unwanted attention ....
In short they are HOPING the person gets the message and stops texting and asking without them having to directly tell them to.
Then there's the ones who are scared to face someone for fear of reprisal.
If someone feels breadcrumbed they should have a bit of self respect and stop asking .....
life works both ways in all situations |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What’s breadcrumbing??
act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort.
So basically not following their weird & needy expectations about how you should get to know them ?
If people aren't interested then they should say so instead of making out they are.. ffs ... it's a form of gameplaying...
In some cases the 'breadcrumber' as they are percieved by the other isn't doing things deliberately but lacks the experience / skills / know how to ward off unwanted attention ....
In short they are HOPING the person gets the message and stops texting and asking without them having to directly tell them to.
Then there's the ones who are scared to face someone for fear of reprisal.
If someone feels breadcrumbed they should have a bit of self respect and stop asking .....
life works both ways in all situations"
I feel like breadcrumbing is keeping the door open though. Isn’t it more ‘I really do want us to meet but just not right now’ or things like that. It’s showing that you’re interested enough to maintain their interest despite not being interested at all. I don’t think it’s something you do because you’re not confident to say you’re not interested in someone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"What’s breadcrumbing??
act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort.
So basically not following their weird & needy expectations about how you should get to know them ?
If people aren't interested then they should say so instead of making out they are.. ffs ... it's a form of gameplaying...
In some cases the 'breadcrumber' as they are percieved by the other isn't doing things deliberately but lacks the experience / skills / know how to ward off unwanted attention ....
In short they are HOPING the person gets the message and stops texting and asking without them having to directly tell them to.
Then there's the ones who are scared to face someone for fear of reprisal.
If someone feels breadcrumbed they should have a bit of self respect and stop asking .....
life works both ways in all situations
I feel like breadcrumbing is keeping the door open though. Isn’t it more ‘I really do want us to meet but just not right now’ or things like that. It’s showing that you’re interested enough to maintain their interest despite not being interested at all. I don’t think it’s something you do because you’re not confident to say you’re not interested in someone. "
I don't know. Part of me thinks that both can exist - sometimes people are unfairly labelled as breadcrumbing when really they aren't experienced/confident enough to say otherwise.
Another part of me thinks, and admittedly this is from personal experience, that the majority of times when it's used it's because people like the attention when it suits them. They like having someone interested in them but the reality is it's just an ego boost. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I agree with Pickle that the correct definition of breadcrumbing is 'keeping the door open with titbits' BUT the wrong label is often ascribed in a situation which is why i'm saying ... if a person feels they are being led down the garden path just grow up and stop messaging the person...... it takes two to keep it going.
So im also agreeing with what Meli said , the two situation exist together BUT obviously I mostly agree with me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In some cases the 'breadcrumber' as they are percieved by the other isn't doing things deliberately but lacks the experience / skills / know how to ward off unwanted attention ....
In short they are HOPING the person gets the message and stops texting and asking without them having to directly tell them to.
Then there's the ones who are scared to face someone for fear of reprisal.
If someone feels breadcrumbed they should have a bit of self respect and stop asking .....
life works both ways in all situations"
Oh Granny. This was the Universe putting what I needed to read right under my nose! 
Thank you.
Jx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I agree with Pickle that the correct definition of breadcrumbing is 'keeping the door open with titbits' BUT the wrong label is often ascribed in a situation which is why i'm saying ... if a person feels they are being led down the garden path just grow up and stop messaging the person...... it takes two to keep it going.
So im also agreeing with what Meli said , the two situation exist together BUT obviously I mostly agree with me "
You can stop now. I heard you the first time and now you're just making me feel bad  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I agree with Pickle that the correct definition of breadcrumbing is 'keeping the door open with titbits' BUT the wrong label is often ascribed in a situation which is why i'm saying ... if a person feels they are being led down the garden path just grow up and stop messaging the person...... it takes two to keep it going.
So im also agreeing with what Meli said , the two situation exist together BUT obviously I mostly agree with me
You can stop now. I heard you the first time and now you're just making me feel bad "
Right? Same. I've actually been inspired by Granny to be very direct and grow up and just yep.
Thanks Granny for the wisdom.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What’s breadcrumbing??
act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort.
So basically not following their weird & needy expectations about how you should get to know them ?
If people aren't interested then they should say so instead of making out they are.. ffs ... it's a form of gameplaying...
In some cases the 'breadcrumber' as they are percieved by the other isn't doing things deliberately but lacks the experience / skills / know how to ward off unwanted attention ....
In short they are HOPING the person gets the message and stops texting and asking without them having to directly tell them to.
Then there's the ones who are scared to face someone for fear of reprisal.
If someone feels breadcrumbed they should have a bit of self respect and stop asking .....
life works both ways in all situations
I feel like breadcrumbing is keeping the door open though. Isn’t it more ‘I really do want us to meet but just not right now’ or things like that. It’s showing that you’re interested enough to maintain their interest despite not being interested at all. I don’t think it’s something you do because you’re not confident to say you’re not interested in someone.
I don't know. Part of me thinks that both can exist - sometimes people are unfairly labelled as breadcrumbing when really they aren't experienced/confident enough to say otherwise.
Another part of me thinks, and admittedly this is from personal experience, that the majority of times when it's used it's because people like the attention when it suits them. They like having someone interested in them but the reality is it's just an ego boost. "
Fair. But I think Breadcrumbing as it is, not as it’s used, is deliberately leading people on. It’s not unintentional. It is deliberately giving people hope, not because you don’t want to hurt them. But because you want to keep their interest. It’s a form of manipulation after all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"If someone feels breadcrumbed they should have a bit of self respect and stop asking .....
life works both ways in all situations
I feel like breadcrumbing is keeping the door open though. Isn’t it more ‘I really do want us to meet but just not right now’ or things like that. It’s showing that you’re interested enough to maintain their interest despite not being interested at all. I don’t think it’s something you do because you’re not confident to say you’re not interested in someone.
I don't know. Part of me thinks that both can exist - sometimes people are unfairly labelled as breadcrumbing when really they aren't experienced/confident enough to say otherwise.
Another part of me thinks, and admittedly this is from personal experience, that the majority of times when it's used it's because people like the attention when it suits them. They like having someone interested in them but the reality is it's just an ego boost.
Fair. But I think Breadcrumbing as it is, not as it’s used, is deliberately leading people on. It’s not unintentional. It is deliberately giving people hope, not because you don’t want to hurt them. But because you want to keep their interest. It’s a form of manipulation after all. "
Yes; it's intentional. I guess with manipulation being used (as in the term) I feel the same way about people using the term gaslighting - I'm loathe to describe someone as manipulating or gaslighting.
Sure, a person might tell you they didn't say x when they did and you have evidence. Is that gaslighting?
Is it manipulating if someone likes your attention but doesn't want you? I don't know. I think that sometimes we can be a bit harsh with our judgement/language of others. It doesn't make their behaviour any less dickish but I wouldn't describe it in that way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm be honest and say I've read very little of these threads but is having two threadfuls on the use or practice of one term not breadcrumbing in itself?
Round in circles going nowhere?
Buzzwords these days are a dime a dozen and overused. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Look, the fact that everyone is busy, tackling life's obstacles, undergoing their daily IV infusion of vitamin C, visiting dear old Auntie Agatha at the care home and on top of having a life outside of Fab...is a •given• (obviously).
So, taking the aforementioned onboard ... ... give me your time, give me an indication that you are genuinely interested, give me a modicum of assurance that will affirm what we have (or lack thereof) may lead to something more than long-distance and fruitless penmanship...but don't fuck me about. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Look, the fact that everyone is busy, tackling life's obstacles, undergoing their daily IV infusion of vitamin C, visiting dear old Auntie Agatha at the care home and on top of having a life outside of Fab...is a •given• (obviously).
So, taking the aforementioned onboard ... ... give me your time, give me an indication that you are genuinely interested, give me a modicum of assurance that will affirm what we have (or lack thereof) may lead to something more than long-distance and fruitless penmanship...but don't fuck me about."
I've never seen you swear before Nero, it's shocking! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the nicest possible way , how do you tell somebody they are breadcrumbing you.
The person I believe doing this to me ,not on this site. I am going to say it , any help appreciated? "
There is no nice way .. their either Breadcrumbing you or they aren't...tbh to me anyway ,if a person hasn't mentioned meeting within a week of constant chatting they're Breadcrumbing in my eyes , the meet could be whenever, it doesn't matter but the important thing is they've mentioned to you about meeting..other than that if you both know you're never gonna meet and want to chat ..hey Knock yerselves out chatting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What’s breadcrumbing??
act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort.
So basically not following their weird & needy expectations about how you should get to know them ?
Strange perception
Why strange? Is there a rule book to follow ? Not everyone is full on , sometimes you go slowly and carefully "
Everyone is different .. absolutely...but as regards Breadcrumbing don't waste others time knowing full well you're never had any intention of meeting them , all you're doing is getting them to feed your ego and that's one of the reasons people breadcrumb.. Breadcrumbing is not one but fair on those at the receiving end. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Look, the fact that everyone is busy, tackling life's obstacles, undergoing their daily IV infusion of vitamin C, visiting dear old Auntie Agatha at the care home and on top of having a life outside of Fab...is a •given• (obviously).
So, taking the aforementioned onboard ... ... give me your time, give me an indication that you are genuinely interested, give me a modicum of assurance that will affirm what we have (or lack thereof) may lead to something more than long-distance and fruitless penmanship...but don't fuck me about.
I've never seen you swear before Nero, it's shocking! "
It's brilliant isn't it? I wholeheartedly agree with what you've said Nero.
I think the majority of people aren't too bad at it. I don't know. Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I need to join a site for penpals instead I do get put off starting up conversations with new people because of the idea that even though my profile states Im not meeting, messaging obviously infers that may happen when sometimes its nice to just message different people? I think I could probably be guilty of this breadcrumbing, although unintentional. I would like to think people would or could talk or find me interesting without thinking it would lead somewhere. Not every connection has to be about sex (rolls my own eyes as this is a meeting for sex site obvs) Also the person being 'breadcrumbed' is I presume at some point continueing to keep hoovering up the crumbs, they could just say actually, bugger off, if the situation wasnt to their liking. I have no doubt that people do get lead on though, there is an awful lot of wasted hope in places such as this. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Look, the fact that everyone is busy, tackling life's obstacles, undergoing their daily IV infusion of vitamin C, visiting dear old Auntie Agatha at the care home and on top of having a life outside of Fab...is a •given• (obviously).
So, taking the aforementioned onboard ... ... give me your time, give me an indication that you are genuinely interested, give me a modicum of assurance that will affirm what we have (or lack thereof) may lead to something more than long-distance and fruitless penmanship...but don't fuck me about."
This!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm be honest and say I've read very little of these threads but is having two threadfuls on the use or practice of one term not breadcrumbing in itself?
Round in circles going nowhere?
Buzzwords these days are a dime a dozen and overused."
No |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
