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Dirty Jokes, Sex Jokes, Rude Jokes...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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An english professor wrote up on the board “woman without her man is nothing” and told his students to punctuate it.
The males in the class wrote “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”
The Females wrote “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.” |
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What's the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is using a feather in the bedroom.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.....
Whats the difference between an egg and a wank....
You can beat an egg..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What's the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is using a feather in the bedroom.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.....
Whats the difference between an egg and a wank....
You can beat an egg....."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Silence is Golden
Paddy was out driving with the wife..After speeding down a long stretch of road he noticed the flashing lights of a police car behind him and pulled over..
“Can I help you officer”? he said
“Do you realize that your wife fell out of the car about a mile back” says the officer!
“Holy Fuck” says Paddy “That’s great...I thought I had gone deaf” |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Religion
I went to an Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.
The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”
I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.
The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!
I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.
The Mullah came, took my hands and said, “Insha Allah, you will walk today!”
I snapped at him, “There’s nothing wrong with me”
The Hindu sadhu came and said "Beta, you will walk on your legs today."
I said "Babaji - nothing wrong with my legs"
The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, “By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!”
I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.
After the Seminar, I stepped outside and found my bicycle had been st ol en.
*I BELIEVE IN ALL RELIGIONS NOW...* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A man was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.
"Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news.
The good news is that you are going to be OK.
The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, & we were able to remove all of the buckshot."
"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.
"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."
"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied.
"Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"
" Not exactly answered the doctor.........
"She's a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye. |
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"A man was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.
"Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news.
The good news is that you are going to be OK.
The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, & we were able to remove all of the buckshot."
"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.
"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."
"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied.
"Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"
" Not exactly answered the doctor.........
"She's a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."
BAHAHAHAHAHA |
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The England women's national football team have made it to the final!
As I watched their faces during the post-match interview I thought..."I'm not even going to make it to a semi..."
(It's OK, everybody's asleep. Ssshhhhhhh. I'll get away with that one...)  |
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